#patch five point fuck

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Me: ayy time to pick up some nice published story collections 💗💓💕💞💖

Story Collection: dystopian future

Story Collection: dystopian future

Story Collection: dystopian future but this time with Ethiopian people

Story Collection: womanhood is pain and misery and you will never be free!!!!!

Story Collection: trauma dump that is miraculously the same set of traumas as literally everyone else, narrated with the exact same words everyone else uses, with the same overtone of fashionable numb depression laced with sex euphemisms for some goddamn reason, except when it comes to sex. The sex part is so unbelievably gore and violent and loveless that it makes you feel like love has never existed on this planet ever.

Story Collection: womanhood is pain and misery and you will never be free!!!! and we're in a party having sex right now 💕

Story Collection: dystopian future but i promise this one is so special, so so special— we've got werewolves with huge cocks!

Me:

[redcherrykook]

──𐙚 (tent)ative enemies - e2l, camping request

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content: friendgroup camping trip, e2l vibes, banter, tension, penetrative sex (unprotected), make out, tent sex oop, backshots, hair pulling, one slap to the ass, big dick jk, creampie, fluff lowkey, argument / angry confession (very cheesy)

note from cherry: omg i love this sm (this is a cloud anonie request so everyone mentally say thank yewww to our baby)

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"Who's idiotic idea was this again?" Miso asks, the thumping of her boots heavy on the soil,

"Jungkook's who else" you reply, rustling through leaves and branches, the striking heat burning the top of your head

He gruffs, pushing you slightly with his arm

"Might wannna hit the gym more, i'm chilling" very evidently, Jungkook is lying. The sweat trickling of the side of his face, the stains on his grey tank top and the pink hue on his honey toned skin are obvious indicators that the stupid, exhausting hiking- camping trip is getting to him.

Just like it has been getting to you and the three remaining people

Miso, someone who barely gets out of the house, has it the worst.

She's been complaining about it ever since the first hour of the trip

Brilliant idea.

Jimin and Taehyung are dealing with it as dramatically as expected

"Oh my god we need to take a break" jimin huffs, his hands pushing on his thighs with every step forward,

"I know right. Kook how much is left?" Tae agrees, moving his head torwards the younger male

"An hour. How many times have i told you it's a three hour trip" his reply makes your blood boil,

This all-knowing, cocky, ego attitude of Jungkook is unbareable

And you'd have to endure it for a total of two and a half days

You have been enduring it for two hours straight and it's to the point where one more stupid comment will make you burst

Worse than the sun burning your head, worse than the sweat ruining your freshly washed hair

"We're not taking another fucking break tae just push through"

Miso rolls her eyes too, shooting you a look to which you only manage to shrug,

"I told you" resting at the tip of your tongue, it wasn't your idea after all, it was Jungkook's and you had warned the group about this exact scenario

Being no stranger to his stupid endeavors, you might be the most familiar with his personality, having known the campus jock and heartthob since his middle school days

Is he your best friend technically?

One might call him that,

Is he also incredibly annoying and you can't stand being alone with him for 20 minutes?

Yes. Yes he is.

The hour passes and it feels more like three with each step,

Each lyric blasted into the forest by the group, shouted out to drown the heat out

"This is the campsite?" Miso says, out of breath and water, just like everyone else

"Yeah" you breath out, looking over the scenery

"Dude this is crazy!" Tae shouts, excitedly wrapping his arm around jimin and ruffling his hair

"Ouch- yes, yeah so cool" he agrees, stepping closer while trying to pry off his best friend

Maybe three hours through what felt like the Amazonas and five stages of grief were worth it after all

The glistening lake in the very back, the shade between pretty flowers and trees, the solitude and animal chirping?

It's beautiful, mesmerizing and screams relaxation,

Who are you kidding. Nothing could repair three hours of enduring jeon jungkook

"Alright, lets set the tents up" you sigh, taking big steps torward the grassy patch under a shady tree,

"I want that spot" Jungkook says, standing right in front of you

"Too bad. Take that one" you say, pointing to the tree next to yours with an overexaggerated smile,

He scoffs, messing your hair up while walking past to the tree you pointed at,

You angryly readjust your hair, watching jimin and tae goof around, almost pushing one another into the lake

"I wish i was this careless" miso says, shaking her head while also watching them

"Me too" you sigh back, fumbling with one of the tents bars,

Everything had gone fine this far but this one bar simply won't stay where it needs to

Frustrated, you slam the bar down in the grass, watching the half set up tent fall into itself

A chuckle can be heard from next to you, approaching steps accomodating it

"Need help with that?" Jungkook asks, his knees coming down next to you, eyes scanning over the mess of pieces

"Obviously"

Jungkook tsks, hands working fast to reassemble the bars and fabric,

He is making am effort to stay focused, bottom lip tucked between his teeth somtimes, his tongue grazing over the lip ring carefully

Your eyes move down to his hands, gently working on building you a place to sleep in

"You done?" He says, waving his tatted hand in front of your face,

"Huh?"

He clicks his tongue, a amused smirk slowly spreading on his face when he moves it closer

"I said, are you done" repeating himself, you just now notice that he is the one that is done, having finished assembling the small, cozy tent

"With what?" You ask, already annoyed with this attitude he carries

"Staring. If you want me, just tell me. Open that loud mouth, won't you?"

"Ew you're gross. Thanks for the tent but i won't suck your dick for it"

His smile is insufferable, that cocky, low tone and the way he leans into your face only adding to the irritaing charm he possess

"How cute. I didn't even mention that, but look who's imagining things" he hums , his thumb tracing over your cheek before standing up, leaving you to yourself on the floor

"Oh god shut up" you tell him, kicking into his leg from below,

He laughs it off, jogging towards the rest of the group

"So what you're saying is, you need to go to the supermarket?" Jungkook groans, sitting down on a folding chair,

Miso nods, "dude we totally thought at least one of us had a car with stuff"

Jimin agrees, "but turns out you were serious about the three hours"

"And you notice that now?" You reply, eyes practically rolling back into your skull

Three idiots that share half a braincell.

"Well no- but- i mean, it was too late anyways" Tae mumbles, rubbing his nape

Three idiots who were responsible of bringing food for the night,

None of which managed to bring anything but crisps who are, to no surpirse, already eaten up.

Jungkook pinches his nose bridge, sighing with evident frustration

"Now what?"

Crickets.

"Guys come on" you chime in,

Miso looks at her phone, "i could call a cab to the main street? It's a 25 minute walk to there"

Jimin and tae hum,

"Okay. It's the best option" you sigh, combing through your hair

Jungkook looks up at you from his seat

"Yeah. We'll set up the fire and you guys go to the-"

"No way", you scoff, looking at him with wide eyes,

He responds with an annoyed laugh, running his hands over the visible muscles on his thighs

"Seriously?"

You nod, "dead serious"

Silence, once again.

Jungkook takes off, practically shooting up from his chair and walking to the fireplace

For the very first time, the air feels heavy.

You look back to the other three who are all staring at you like a deer in headlights,

"Go. Just go, i'll take care of him" you shake your head, watching them wander off to the main street.

A pit forms in your stomach, the anxiety creeping up in your throat when approaching a visibly angry jungkook

You've never felt bad for bickering with him, mostly because he always returned it

But this time, it hurt. Something shifted when you saw his doe eyes glimmer, almost like he was hurt himself.

The way his jaw clenches when you stop in front of him makes you shiver,

"What?" He snaps, breaking a couple branches and throwing them on the stack,

"I'm sorry" you mutter, the pride in you never backing down, your voice sounds as annoyed as it did 4 minutes ago,

He takes a second to respond, stepping closer to you,

"You piss me off so much" he says, locking his eyes on yours, his gaze is dark, almost intimidating

The air feels even heavier now, you try to ignore it, ignore the goosebumps you get from his voice,

"We're equal then"

His tongue grazes the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowing slightly

"No we're not. We can't be"

The anger inside you boils up quickly,

"Why? Because you're so much better than everyone?" you spit out, mockingly pouting at him,

"No. because you think i'm insufferable and don't want me around" he replies, almost cutting you off in the sentence

"Whats not equal about that? You literally hate me-"

"Shut up" he says, this time fully cutting you off

"What did you say?" you laugh out in utter disbelief,

"I said shut. Up."

"You know what? No because-"

"Oh my god will you shut up? I hate you? Are you insane?" borderline yelling, his eyes never leave yours, staring you down

This time, you have nothing to say.

"I hate you? Seriously? Like i haven't been in love with you for years? Like i can't take my eyes off of you, and the only reason i show off is to impress you? Like it doesn't hurt my feelings when you pretend like the worst thing is to be near me?"

The words leave his mouth so quickly, neither yours nor his mind can catch up, panting, he looks at you, biting his lower lip, seemingly realizing what he just admitted to

His hands run over his face,

"Look i-"

"Jungkook" it's your turn to interrupt him now, looking him dead in the eyes,

You're met with nervousness,

"Yes?" he says, whispering

"If you don't kiss me right now i'll kill you"

There's no time to think when he ruthlessly crashes his lips to yours, grabbing you by the waist with greedy hands and pressing your body to his,

His lips are needy, eagerly moving against yours with groans muffled into the kiss,

You sigh softly, hands finding his jaw to pull him in closer,

His teeth bite at your lower lip, making you open up just enough for him to slip his tongue in, exploring every inch of your mouth

A couple minutes of this heated kiss go by, until he breaks it, ragged, heavy breathing fanning against your lips

His forhead rests on yours,

"Holy fuck" you whisper, making him smirk slightly, connecting his lips to yours again,

"I need you so bad" he mumbles into the kiss in a deep groan, pushing his lips against yours with desperation

You pull away this time, hands on his shoulders while your face is moved back enough to see him in full view,

Swollen pink lips, barely illuminated face

"If this was a ploy to sleep with me you're gonna drown in that lake" you laugh, slapping his shoulder lightly

He snarks, hosting you up in his hands before carrying you to his tent,

"Unfortunately i am an embarrassing amount in love with you, but hey, if you don't wanna fuck-"

You shut him up by kissing him,

"Don't ruin the mood" you say, climbing into his tent on all fours

His eyes focus on your ass, round enough to show beneath the shorts,

With now both of you inside the tent, his hands immediately find your hips,

"We don't have much time pretty, i'll make it up to you at home" he says, pulling your shorts and panties down in one go,

Your back arches immediately, the noise of his joggers being pulled down only adding to the exciment

"It's okay kook, i'm as desperate as you are" you reply, only to feel him smack your ass harshly,

"So you did imagine sucking my dick?" he says, groping at your soft skin,

"Many times jungkook"

suddenly, you feel his thumb move down to your entrance, pressing in only slightly before pulling away

"Fuck you're so sexy. Can i pull your hair?" He groans, pumping his heavy cock before guiding it to slide between your folds,

"You freak, god, yes, you can"

A strangled moan leaves your lip when he pushes his entire length in, one of his hands gripping your hip tightly while the other one gathers up your hair, pulling on it

"Fuck, you're so tight. You're not a virgin are you baby?" he huffs, snapping his hips against yours slowly at first,

You giggle between moans, gripping at the tent floor with what you can gather,

"No- i'm not. You're just- fuck- huge"

He throws his head back, pulling on your hair harsher while his hips speed up significantly, hitting that soft spot inside you over and over again,

Both of you are trying to keep the moans down, yours muffled by the ground under you, jungkook's deep growls quiet enough for only you to hear

"You feel so good, i wanted to fuck this pussy for ages" he mutters, letting go of your hair to harshly pull your hips back, making you meet his thrust half way,

Your knees feel weak, pressed into the ground and that pool in your stomach only grows, threatening to snap any second

"You're mine now right baby? My girl? My pussy? My bratty little thing?"

you let out a high pitched yes, followed by a desperate plea of his name,

"Gonna cum?" he groans, pushing his hips deeper inside of you,

You only manage to nod, mind having gone practically blank with the way he feels inside of you,

The knot snaps, legs shaking and cum coating his dick entirely,

"Mhm fuck, coming baby" his moans are deep, pushing a few slow thrusts into you, splurting his milky cum inside your cunt

A few minutues of silence pass before he pulls out, watching your pussy pulse and release his cum slowly, his entire shaft covered in the both of yours arousal,

Suddenly, you feel him kiss the side of your hips before softly flipping you around, making you lay on your back

You smile up at him weakly, watching as he cleans the both of you up carefully, pulling your panties and shorts back to normal before laying down next to you

"I left fingerprints, does it hurt? I didn't realize how rough i was pulling you" he says, placing small kisses on your cheek

You shake your head, intertwining your hand with his,

"It's okay. You're actually nice, wow" the urge to be teasing him returns, nudging his nose with yours

Jungkook bites your cheek playfully, then, he kisses all over your face,

"Stoooop" you whine, a broad smile creeping up to your face,

"I'm obsessed with you. God, you don't even know" he mumbles, cupping your face in his hands

"Should we knock or something?" Tae says,

The three of them standing a couple meteres from your tents,

They have been, for the past 20 minutes,

Bags in each hand,

"Uhm? Sure" Miso says, turning her attention to the tent again,

"Well," jimin starts, "at least they get along now"

[teddybeartoji]

18+ mdni; male!reader

sun rays greet satoru's face as he stretches his whole body across your shared bed. there's a dopey smile on his face as he watches you pace around the bedroom, determined to find a specific shirt and his dick twitches at the sight of you bending over. the material of your boxers stretches so deliciously over your ass and it has satoru biting down onto his lip almost hard enough to draw blood.

he tried to keep you in bed you were so determined to start your day early and well, satoru isn't opposed to letting you think that you have a chance to escape him.

you're still looking for your shirt, talking about your plans, completely missing the shuffling sound the sheets as satoru crawls over the bed like some sort of a predator. his feet hit the floor and that's what gets your attention – spinning around, you're met with an overly sweet grin. he's up to something.

trying to take a step back, satoru's hands are quick to stop you; his slender fingers wrap around your wrist while the others dance on your lower back, pulling you flush to him.

"satoru..." you warn him and he gives you a playful 'hm?'.

eyes glued to his, you try to figure out what exactly is he up to but you don't have to think for long when you feel his boner rubbing against your own clothed dick. your eyes tear from his and flick down to where you're connected and the sight makes you gulp. satoru watches your adam's apple bob and he wastes no time in wriggling his hips just a bit, his grin widening when your breath hitches.

"feels good, heh?"

he uses you like his own personal plaything, pushing and pulling you against him with ease. all of your protests die down in your throat as you feel yourself hardening. there's a wet patch forming on satoru's boxers, pre-cum already ruining the material just from rubbing his cock against yours. but he's not ashamed, he never is – he's not afraid to show you how you make him feel. how hard you make him just by... being.

"y'look so handsome."

glaring at him through your eyelashes, he laughs. "what? i can't tell my boyfriend that he looks handsome anymore?" while his tone has a teasing lilt to it, you know his question is real.

"i– ahh... woke up like five minutes ago, i still have sleep in my eye."

a deep groan straight from the depths of satoru's tummy spills from his lips, his hands tugging at you closer against him. "hot."

heat spreads all over your body, from your chest to your neck and face, from your chest to your lower belly. satoru feels your dick twitch at his 'compliment' and his own does the same, so fucking excited to have this kind of an effect on you.

when you raise your hands, he's almost sure that you're about to try to push him away but he's pleasantly surprised to feel your fingers scratching at his undercut instead. "you're so– weird."

light-hearted laughter bubbles from satoru before he leans in to press a kiss to your jaw. "you love me."

his voice is all raspy and his touch burns in the best way possible and you're no better than him at this point – making a mess in your underwear just because of some heavy petting. it's not like he'd ever judge you though; satoru wants you both to let go and never hold back on your desires.

he sucks at your sensitive skin, right at your pulse point while still pushing and pulling you against him. pride blooms in his chest when a moan rips through your body – his hand has slipped under the waistband of your boxers and over your ass. he gives it a squeeze before pressing further, the tips of his fingers brushing over your asshole ever so gently.

you give his snowy roots a tug and it makes satoru groan into your skin. unable to keep your head up straight, you let it fall back, giving your boyfriend even more room to kiss and worship. his lips never leave you; he's determined to mark you as his with the prettiest heart-shaped hickeys. you'd scold him and tell him to stop but... you can't think clearly anymore.

his finger circles your hole and it has you arching your back; your hard nipples brush against his and the room fills with wanton moans coming from the both of you. everything he does to you feels so fucking good – he floods your senses with his scent, with his warmth, with his touch. you never even had a chance.

removing a hand from his hair, you can't help but smile idly at the sound of his whine. but you only take it away to place it on his chest instead. you paw at his skin, just above his heart and relish in the way his hips stutter against yours. the knot in your lower tummy tightens and your balls contract – tell-tale signs of your upcoming climax.

you want to be mad at him, scream and yell, tell him off because he manages to make you cum in record time every time he tries something new. you want to enjoy it, you'd like to take your time but no, he's over here rocking your world by just... grinding against you and giving you hickies like some teenager. you can't believe it.

but you can't let him have all the fun now, can you? so, you take the hand on his chest and move it over to his pec and give it a squeeze before thumbing at his nipple. satoru's whole body twitches at the light touch, his lips parting with your neck for a mere second. he tilts his head to catch your gaze and he doesn't regret it – he's met with a sick smile, one that's an exact match to the one he's wearing right now.

the corners of his eyes crinkle and his dimples say hi; beautiful blue orbs filled with love and adoration stare into yours as he gnaws on his bottom lip. your heart races in your chest and your whole body feels like it's on fire – you lean in at the same time and you collide in a fiery kiss.

sun peeks through the curtains behind you, warming you and satoru as you try to eat each others faces. he sucks on your tongue and you play with his nipple, you suck on his and he presses his finger against your sensitive hole. your cocks rub together and your pre-cum starts to mix as it seeps through the material of both of your boxers.

somewhere in the background your phone dings but neither of you hear it. satoru's kisses turn more hungry by the second, his hands more desperate as he pulls you towards him again and again. he isn't even letting you catch your breath, your chest now heaving as you near your orgasm. the friction between you two feels godly – it's the complete lack of shame; the way he's just always ready to make you feel good in every possible way known to mankind. dry humping you while standing up, dropping to his knees to eat your ass the second you come home, sucking you off when you're mad at the world – he's here for you.

he nibbles at your lip and you groan into his mouth. satoru's knows you're close because.. he's close, too. you're now just grinding your clothed dicks against each other, melting into yourselves as raspy whines and moans fall from your mouths. you're there, you're almost fucking there. you squirm in his hold, eyes screwed shut as satoru pushes the tip of his index finger into your ass—

knock! knock! knock!

still hazy from the pleasure, you try to pull away from satoru, leaving him chasing after your lips as he keeps humping you. while desperately trying to focus on whether somebody is actually behind your door or you're officially losing your mind, you spot your phone on the bed over satoru's shoulder. and then you remember.

suguru!

that's why you got out of bed early in the first place, that's why you said no to your usual morning shenanigans with satoru. your eyes widen and your whole being hurts as your orgasm begins to fade.

satoru has yet to come out of his, his eyes still closed as he blindly mouths at your chin. a strong shove against his shoulder helps with it but now he looks like a kicked puppy, sad and beaten because you're not returning his affections.

"suguru."

his brows furrow faster than ever. "excuse me?"

"behind the door."

"are you having a stroke right now, baby?" his face relaxes, his eyes closing in slow motion, one slower than the other. "c'mon, kiss me some more, hm?"

pinching his nipple a little harder than he'd like, your boyfriend squeals with wide eyes. "what, what?!"

"suguru was coming over, remember? and now he's here and neither of us are ready?!" you reprimand him through gritted teeth. another spurt of pre-cum leaks through your boxers and your eye twitches as the sensation. this is hurting you as much as him but you can't just let suguru wait for you. it's rude.

"so?"

now it's your time to stare at him with big eyes. "so?! that's our friend that we invited over, we're not gonna let him just fucking stand behind the door because you're horny, satoru."

his eyelashes flutter as his gaze drops to your rock hard cock pressed against his own.

"that's irrelevant."

and with a final shove, you push yourself away from your pouty boyfriend and rush to find some proper clothes. satoru laughs to himself when you harshly-not-so-harshly tell him him to get rid of his boner and to wash his hands, to which he only responds with the words 'i love you' in a singsong voice.

satoru knows that suguru knows, that's why he hasn't bothered to knock again in the first place. how does satoru know it? before climbing out of the bed to play around with you, he sent suguru a text message saying that he has to 'rub one out'. and knowing how suguru feels about you... oh, satoru can't wait for his best friend to see your disheveled hair and the fresh hickeys on your neck.

maybe he'll finally get suguru to join you two? especially knowing that neither of you or him actually got off in the first place, your ruined orgasms now settling deep in your lower stomach. satoru feels proud over his weird little matchmaking play, but c'mon – nobody can blame him for wanting his beloved and his best friend fuck, right? he just wants to see the two people he loves the most have fun and feel good, he has no problem sitting back and just enjoying the show you'll surely put on for him.

he feels giddy.

and in love.

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 8. the return

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: You help Joel recover from his injuries and you finally confront your feelings for him.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, mutual pining, sad!Joel, amnesia, slow burn, descriptions of wounds/injuries, some smutty situations but nothing very explicit, dare I say fluff?

WC: 8.2K

Series Masterlist

"Joel, wake up."

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"C'mon. You gotta get up."

"Five more minutes," he mumbled.

"Joel," you tried again, your voice sounding so far away. Why did you sound so far away? "Joel, please wake up. I need you."

You needed him. Okay. For you, he would wake up.

His eyelids fluttered.

"Joel?"

Your voice didn't sound so far away now.

"Joel? Can you hear me?"

Fuck, his head hurt. His side hurt. Everything fucking hurt.

Then he remembered.

He forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly as his pupils adjusted to the bright light until he focused on you. You.

You were so pretty. So, so pretty, standing next to his bed with that little worried crease between your eyebrows, leaning over him. You didn't need to be so worried. Don't be worried.

Your eyes brightened when he saw you and he slowly began to recognize where he was.

He was back in Jackson. At the infirmary, in a bed.

You jumped up, calling over your shoulder for Nick and Tommy before turning back to him and grasping his hand.

"Are you in pain?"

He didn't answer. He just stared at you, dumbfounded, his brain struggling to catch up. He squeezed your hand and you gave him a shaky smile.

Tommy and Nick barged into the room and you dropped his hand. Nick began to take his vitals while Tommy tried to stay out of the way, but Joel's focus remained on you. He watched as you drifted around the room on autopilot, handing Nick instruments and supplies from a table, then disappearing out into the hall when he asked you to get some medicine he had no idea how to pronounce.

"What's your pain like, Joel?" Nick asked, reading the blood pressure cuff.

He opened his mouth to answer but immediately started coughing. Tommy twisted around to grab the water bottle next to the sink and Nick lifted it to his lips. "Slow," he reminded him, so Joel sipped slowly then sat back with a sigh.

He was so tired.

"Your pain?"

Joel took a deep breath and winced.

"Ain't great," he croaked, voice all gravelly. You came back into the room and handed Nick the medicine, giving Joel a reassuring smile. God, he missed you so much.

He heard Nick ask you to fill a syringe for him and Joel watched you work, your hands steady and your breath even as you concentrated on getting the dosage exactly right.

"Joel? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" he asked in a daze, dragging his eyes to his brother.

"I said, what the hell happened out there?" Tommy was pressed up against the wall, making himself as small as possible while you and Nick worked.

"Ran into some raiders- fuck!" he exclaimed when the needle entered his skin.

"Sorry," Nick murmured before pulling it out.

"Where?" Tommy asked, and Joel shook his head.

"Not 'round here. Out in California."

Everyone in the room paused to look at him.

"You got this fucked up out in Cali and you made it back?" Tommy asked in disbelief, and Joel slowly nodded his head. "Fuckin'... how?"

Joel's eyes found yours again, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a half smile.

"Had a guardian angel," he said, his eyelids beginning to droop.

"The hell does that mean?" Tommy asked. Joel pointed to his pack on the floor.

"Side pocket."

Nick lifted the blanket covering Joel's bare torso so he could inspect his wounds, which had been freshly cleaned and patched up in his sleep. Then he heard the telltale sound of pills rattling in a plastic bottle.

"You found meds out there?" his brother asked, rolling the bottle around in his palm before handing it over to Nick.

"Mhm," was all he said, then watched as you looked over Nick's shoulder to read the label. Your eyes went wide with surprise then looked up at him.

Your lips parted like you wanted to say something, then your gaze darted to the other two men in the room and you decided against it.

"This probably saved you from getting sepsis," Nick said before placing the bottle on the small table next to his bed. "I'm gonna need to keep you here for a bit," and as Joel began to protest, Nick held up his hand. "Just for a bit, I said. Til you get your strength up and I feel confident you don't got any infection or serious internal damage. Then you can go home and recover."

You could see the turmoil in Joel's face. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be in the comfort of his own bed after a week of putting himself through hell.

"I'll stay here overnight, keep an eye on him and come get you if anything seems off," you said, and all three men paused to look at you in surprise. You shrugged and cleared your throat. "Unless you don't-"

"No," Joel said, cutting you off. His throat felt so tight all of the sudden. "Please stay."

Nick and Tommy exchanged glances before shifting around the room, gathering used instruments and picking up Joel's discarded, bloody clothes.

"I'll grab the cot for you," Nick said on his way out the door.

"Do you need anythin' from home?" Tommy asked and you quickly shook your head.

"I'll be fine."

Joel wanted to tell you everything, but he could feel himself fading. Another time, he thought as you rolled out the cot on the floor next to his bed. You turned off the light before he drifted off to sleep, finally being able to properly rest now that he was back with you.

It took five whole days until Nick finally agreed to let him go home. You stayed with him every night, only going back home to shower and get fresh clothes once a day. It seemed like he was always surrounded by Tommy or Ellie or Nick and there was never a good time to talk to you. He wanted to tell you why he did what he did, he wanted to give you some comfort. But any time the two of you were alone, it was always too brief or he was asleep.

Unbeknownst to Joel, you were struggling with the same issue. You wanted to get some time alone together so you could talk to him about everything you had a chance to reflect on while he was gone, but you knew it would likely be a long and emotional conversation and you really didn't want to do it at work.

There was so much that needed to be said, but the rare few minutes you had alone together you spent holding his hand or feeding him or gently wiping the sweat off his forehead and chest with a wet washcloth. You hoped your actions spoke louder than the words you weren't brave enough to say.

Nick helped you restock your first aid kit at home while Tommy got Joel settled back in his bed. You could hear them talking from the hallway, Tommy scolding his brother when he didn't listen to him and he ended up wincing in pain.

"So you're gonna want to make sure he takes this twice a day with food," Nick said, handing you a bottle of orange pills. "For inflammation. Til you run out, then he should be good. And this is only if the pain gets intolerable," he handed you a small baggie of four white pills and narrowed his eyes. "Use them sparingly, we don't have much."

"I know."

"He shouldn't need any more antibiotics but be sure to take his temperature throughout the day and push the fluids. If the numbers get over 102 for more than four hours, come get me right away."

"Okay," you nodded, hoping your sleep deprived brain was absorbing everything.

"Maria agreed to help out at the infirmary for the next couple days, so take as much time as you need. You know I can manage without you," Nick said, and you gave him a feigned look of hurt. "I can manage, I said. Doesn't mean I prefer it," he told you with a roll of his eyes and you had a stifle a laugh. Tommy stepped out of Joel's room and joined you at the top of the stairs.

"All good?"

"I think so," you said, looking back down at the pills Nick gave you.

"You need anythin', you just holler, sugar," Tommy said and you gave him a tired smile in return. The two men walked down the steps and saw themselves out while you filled a glass with water from the sink in the bathroom, bringing it to Joel.

"How are you feeling?" you asked him for what felt like the millionth time in a week.

"Not bad," he said truthfully. You handed him the water and although he wasn't thirsty, he still drank it because it seemed to make you happy and he really liked when you took care of him.

You shifted your weight and glanced around the room awkwardly.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Do you want me to get you a book or something?"

Joel smiled and dropped his gaze to the floor. You were so fucking cute and it was killing him.

"I'm good."

"Good," you nodded, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to find another reason to stay. When you couldn't think of one, you sighed and hitched your thumb over your shoudler.

"I'll be right next door and I'll leave the doors open. If you need anything or if you're in pain-"

"I know," he said, giving you a soft smile as you tried your best to not stare at his bare chest peeking out from the top of the sheets.

"Okay, then," you said, backing out of the room. "Good night."

You had no idea how long you laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling while your mind raced and your fingers tapped anxiously against your chest. You couldn't sleep. It must have been hours because the light flicking off in Joel's room felt like ages ago and you hadn't heard any shuffling since.

It's this bed, you thought to yourself. It was the first time in a long time you slept in your own bed and you just couldn't get comfortable.

Or maybe you were too worried about him, even though it seemed like most of his strength was back. The color returned to his cheeks and he was able to stay awake most of the day. Deep down, you knew there wasn't a need to be concerned about him at that point. In all likelihood he was out of the woods. But you still felt the urge to check on him. Just in case.

You slid out of bed and tiptoed quietly out of your room, walking the few feet to Joel's door and leaning against the frame. You tried to observe him from a distance but it was hard to see in the dark, so you crept closer.

He was sound asleep, his hands resting peacefully over his soft stomach, his lips parted ever so slightly as he lightly snored. You bit the inside of your cheek and looked at the other side of the bed. Deciding not to overthink it, you closed the door and silently made your way around the foot of the bed and slipped underneath the covers with a quiet sigh.

Just for a minute, you thought. You had just grown so accustomed to sleeping in his bed, that's all. But before you knew it, his steady breathing and soft pillows lulled you into a deep sleep.

The sun bled through the curtains, inching across the floorboards and slowly made its way up the sheets until it found your face, but you didn't wake. Instead, you buried your face deeper into the warmth underneath you, far too comfortable to bother waking up just yet.

Joel, however, had been awake before the sun even rose.

He had felt your arms wrapped around his waist at some point towards the early morning. He had managed to turn so your head rested against his bare chest while you continued to sleep so peacefully. It was far too tempting. He fucking ached for you for so long and to wake up and find you in his bed caused his heart to flutter wildly in his chest and all his blood to rush directly between his legs.

He had been doing okay. He was content with just holding you, feeling you, pretending things were back to normal, if only for a little while, but when you nuzzled into his chest and tightened your grip around his waist, he couldn't resist burying his nose in your hair and breathing in deep. He missed you so much it fucking hurt. It was torture, fighting the urge to pull you into him every day and crawl into bed with you at night. He knew it would backfire one day, all his pent up emotions. When Angie caught him during a particularly low point at the Tipsy Bison, drunk and sad and missing you so fucking much, it all blew up in his face. Kissing her was a mistake but he was just so goddamn lonely. He didn't realize how much he had come to depend on your touch to soothe him until he no longer had it.

He wouldn't make that mistake ever again.

He thought he ruined everything in one moment of weakness, but here you were, tucked safely into his side, sound asleep in his arms and he didn't even dare question what brought you into his bed because all that mattered was you were there now. And you made that decision yourself. You sought him out. You wanted to be with him.

Testing the waters, he carefully pressed a kiss on the top of your head, and when you didn't react, he did it again. Sliding his eyes closed, he dragged his lips a little lower, kissing your forehead while he savored the feeling of your breath fanning over his neck. Other than your fingertips fluttering slightly against his stomach, you still didn't move, so he kissed your forehead again. You were so warm and you smelled just like him that he quickly felt himself getting lost in his desire. His kisses became faster and more urgent, finally causing your breathing to change and your body to stir. He knew you were waking but he kept his eyes closed, too afraid of seeing apathy in the face that used to be filled with such love for him.

He was just setting himself up for more heartbreak but he couldn't seem to stop.

His lips traveled a little lower, pressing tenderly against your temple, bracing himself for when you would inevitably push him away. Maybe you weren't fully awake yet because you remained perfectly still, so he continued to take and take, his kisses becoming feverish as he brushed over your eyelids. God, he missed this so much. He missed these lazy mornings with you. They were rare, but on days neither of you had any other commitments you would lounge in bed for as long as your stomachs would allow, holding each other close, getting lost under the sheets.

His time was coming to an end now. Your arms loosened around his waist and soon you would realize where you were and who you were with and it would all be over. He breathed deeply, as if he could bottle you for later. Maybe his sheets would trap your scent. He really hoped they would. He could use another good night's sleep and having you at his side had always ensured that, but he could pretend as long as his pillow still smelled like you.

With his lips still roaming over your brow, you stretched your legs and let out a breathy little noise that made his cock twitch and his stomach tense. He kept his eyes screwed shut, hoping you would assume he was half asleep and therefore unaware of his lips dragging across your face. He didn't want to lie to you again but his heart could only handle so much rejection.

He felt your eyes flutter open, your eyelashes tickling his neck and he really should have stopped kissing you at that point, but it felt like he was spiraling out of control. Like his body had enough of constantly being denied what it craved.

You paused for a moment, giving your brain a chance to catch up. Figuring out where you were and why you were there. Any second now, you would pull away. He kept bracing for it, his heart thundering in his chest now that it knew time was running out, that this feeling of bliss was about to end and it was scrambling to hold on to every split second.

Thinking it would be the last chance, he kissed the corner of your eye and then your cheek. There was no way he would be able to pretend he was still asleep now, but he didn't care. He was growing frantic, his need for you overwhelming, even if this was all he could get, it would have to sustain him until he could figure out how to earn back your trust.

His eyes flew open when your lips pressed wetly against his neck. He froze, his mouth hovering over your ear, waiting to see what you would do next.

Then you did it again. Only this time, you sucked on a bit of his skin, leaving the beginnings of a red mark he would cherish for days.

Before you could blink, he rolled over, his body caging you in underneath him as he examined you with wide and hopeful eyes. You gazed up at him, your breath shallow and your lips parted as your eyes roamed over his face, taking in every freckle and every wrinkle up close. His beard was getting grayer in spots you hadn't noticed before, somehow adding to his appeal. His lips looked dry from the cold but his eyes looked bright and clear and the way the sun was beaming in through the window behind him, his messy curls sticking up every which way made it look like he was wearing a halo.

With a shaky hand, you reached up to thread your fingers through his hair. It was so much softer than you expected. His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into your touch. You watched his throat work as he swallowed nervously and you wanted nothing more in that moment than to taste the skin there again, so you did. Leaning up, your lips suckled at the spot between his jaw and neck, his pulse strong and fast under your tongue. A reminder that he was alive and healthy and finally back home. Your nails raked against his scalp and you sucked at his skin a little harder, a little more urgently, a little more desperately and then he was the first to break.

He whimpered.

He fucking whimpered and that was all it took for you to maneuver slightly under him and spread your legs, wrapping them around his waist and pulling him close.

Fuck. He was hard. You felt it in the loose confines of his sweatpants, bobbing against your center when you pulled him down further and it set something on fire inside of you.

You brought your other hand up to get lost in his hair, giving it a tug to pull his head back just a bit so you could angle your mouth over his and you latched onto him hungrily, the contact sending a jolt through your entire body. He slipped his tongue past your teeth and finally allowed himself to touch you, hand cupping your jaw at first, then dropping to grip your ass under the sheets before sliding up your shirt, rough fingers skating up your stomach, then brushing over your tightened nipples, drawing out a sweet little moan which he swallowed down eagerly.

He flattened his hand over your heart, leaving it there as he licked into your mouth, both your jaws pried open as far as they could go, as if you were trying to swallow the other whole. He could feel your heart pounding through your chest, like it was trying to break free and jump into his palm. Like it was saying here, take me, I'm yours. And if you were to untangle your hands from his hair and place one over his own racing heart, he had no doubt you would hear what it was screaming in his chest.

I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much, I'm so sorry, please forgive me.

And of course you forgave him. He was in just as much pain as you. Both of you had been mourning the same person without even realizing it.

And none of that seemed to matter anymore. Not in that moment, anyway. The two of you tangled together, the early morning glow from the sun washing over you, wrapping you up safe and sound in each other's arms.

You dropped your hands, abandoning his hair, nails dragging over his broad shoulders and leaving little red trails in their wake. His own hand slid down from your chest to grab your hip, pulling you impossibly closer to him, forcing you to feel how hard he was for you. All for you.

His facial hair burned your chin but you didn't mind. In fact, it felt good. You chased the feeling, pushing your mouth even harder against him, wanting to make sure you would feel that burn for the rest of the day.

Then you heard a knock on the front door.

Joel didn't react.

Either too lost in the moment or unwilling to allow it to end. Your hands drifted lower, over his relatively smooth chest and over his ribs, your fingertips dancing over each one like piano keys, careful to avoid his wound.

Another knock, louder now, made you pause. Breaking free and turning your head slightly to the side to open your eyes, you tried to listen, but Joel's mouth just slid down your jaw, nipping playfully as he went before biting gently on your earlobe. You gasped softly, momentarily forgetting about the door, your back arching underneath him. His tongue flattened against the hollow of your exposed throat, his exhale tickled your skin and caused a wave of goosebumps to emerge and he smirked, tongue still lavishing your neck as his fingers dug harder into your hip, like he was afraid to let you go.

Now you heard the front door unlock and carelessly swing open, but Joel still didn't stop.

"Joel," you whispered, your voice raspy from disuse. He only hummed in response, then his mouth latched onto your clothed breast, his tongue flicking against the thin material and you had to bite your lip to keep from crying out because you heard Ellie's voice now, along with Tommy's, making their way up the stairs.

"Joel!" you said, firmer this time and pushing him back. His dark eyes snapped up to yours, his parted lips wet and swollen as he gasped for air. Thankfully, it sounded like they had tried the master bedroom first. You heard Tommy's heavy steps enter your bathroom before walking back out into the hall and it finally clicked with Joel that you were no longer alone.

"Fuck," he muttered right before the door swung open. He dropped his upper body to cover yours best he could, protecting your modesty even though you were still fully clothed.

"Shit! Sorry!" Tommy exclaimed, backing out of the room. You squeezed your eyes shut as embarrassment flooded your veins, tucking your face into Joel's neck to hide.

"What-" you heard Ellie say from the hall, then the door slammed shut, leaving just you and Joel. The two of you stayed frozen, his body still pinning yours into the mattress under the covers, legs still wrapped around his waist as you listened to Tommy and Ellie's hushed voices trail down the stairs.

"Fuck," he sighed again, dropping his head against your shoulder.

Your heart fluttered in your chest as the both of you slowly regained your senses. Your hands drifted lightly over his back as he nuzzled into your neck, and you were perfectly content to remain just like that, but unfortunately he pushed himself up on his elbows with a sigh.

"I should go see what he wants," he murmured, giving you a heated look that told you talking to his brother was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Okay," you squeaked, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something else but decided against it and instead sat up with a grunt. You pulled the covers back over you, the cool morning air prickling your skin now that you didn't have his body heat to keep you warm, and watched as he fumbled around the room for a discarded shirt. When his back was turned, he tried to subtly tuck his throbbing cock into his waistband, but you noticed and bit back a grin. Secretly, you were grateful for the interruption. As much as you wanted him, you needed to take things slow.

He walked down the stairs, his pace slower than usual as he favored his side with the wound. When his eyes met Tommy's in the kitchen, he saw the flash of guilt across his face for interrupting what was shaping up to be a really good fucking morning.

"Sorry," he said again, glancing quickly at the back of Ellie's head as she rummaged through the pantry for something to eat, completely oblivious to what they almost walked in on. "The kid let me in."

"Yeah, I got that," Joel grumbled as he made his way to the coffee maker and flipped the switch.

"Hey Joel, can I take this?" Ellie held up a box of granola bars and he nodded. She ripped into one and practically shoved half of it into her mouth. "How's it feel to be back home?" she asked with a mouthful of sticky oats. Joel made a disgusted face at the visual and she smirked at his reaction.

"Good," was all he said, turning away before the heat crept up his neck. It felt really fucking good to be home. "So what's goin' on?" he asked Tommy, who was leaning up against the kitchen sink.

"Couple of guys found some tracks this mornin'," Tommy began, and the hairs on the back of Joel's neck stood up.

"Tracks?" you questioned as you appeared in the doorway in a fresh set of clothes. Joel tried not to let his gaze linger on you, noting with a sick sense of pride that your neck still looked a little pink from his mouth, but it was hard. He should have just stayed in bed with you.

"Doesn't look like a big group," he said as Joel's face fell. "It ain't your fault-"

"They followed me here, Tommy," Joel rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"We'll handle it," Tommy replied calmly while you and Ellie sat down silently at the table to listen. "Shit was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Goddamnit," Joel growled angrily under his breath. "I shoulda been more careful. Stupid fuckin'-"

"Joel, you were passed out on the back of a horse," Tommy reasoned, "it's a miracle you even made it back at all. The tracks were a few miles south, I'm gonna get a group together later this mornin' and see what we can find."

"I'll go with you," he said but before Tommy could respond, you piped up.

"No, you're not."

Joel twisted around, taking in the alarmed look on your face. He held your gaze for a moment, your eyes pleading with him. Please don't. I just got you back. He immediately caved.

"Okay," he agreed, and you visibly relaxed with a smile. You desperately wanted to go to him, pull him close and thank him for listening to you, but your audience held you back.

Ellie glanced between the two of you with a knowing grin, finally sensing the change in the room.

"I wasn't lookin' for volunteers, anyway," Tommy said, breaking the heavy silence and pushing off the counter. "Just comin' by to tell you what's goin' on. We're headin' out in an hour, I'll stop by later and let you know what we find."

The coffee maker beeped and Joel grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. "Be careful out there," he told his brother as Tommy slid on his boots and swung open the door. "Don't do anythin' stupid."

"That's rich, comin' from you," he replied with a chuckle and Ellie snorted. Joel shot him a glare before he left, pouring coffee into each of your mugs. He took a grateful sip before bringing yours to the table and sat down. The both of you sipped your coffees in silence, eyes glued to the table while trying to ignore the obvious tension building. Ellie began to connect the dots and stood up.

"I should get going," she announced.

"You don't have to-"

"Stay and warm up a bit-"

She cut you both off. "I got shit to do. Homework and all that," she said, lying through her teeth as she headed for her boots. "Don't worry, I'll lock it behind me," she teased, slipping out the front door while your cheeks burned hot with embarrassment.

"Jesus," you muttered and Joel had to hold back a laugh. He stared down at his coffee, the mug now half filled with the dark, steaming liquid as he struggled to come up with something to say. There was so much he didn't even know where to start.

"Oh! Your meds!" you exclaimed, jumping up from your chair to retrieve the little orange pills Nick gave you the night before. "He said you need to take these with food. Let me make you something," you told him while you shuffled around pots and pans, looking for anything to keep yourself busy.

He sat back in his chair and watched you move around the kitchen with ease. Pulling oatmeal out of the pantry, measuring it out, boiling the pot with water.

You looked nervous. The thought made him smile. He made you nervous.

Right as you turned the burner off and grabbed a bowl you felt his hands circle your hips. You sighed and couldn't resist melting against him, closing your eyes for a moment and resting the back of your head against his shoulder while he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"Thank you," he whispered while pressing a chaste kiss behind your ear.

"It's just oatmeal," you whispered back. He swallowed and shook his head before planting another kiss in the same spot.

"No, it's not."

You knew what he was trying to say and it made your heart swell. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for staying. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"You're welcome," you replied, your voice wavering a bit as you turned around in his arms. You laced your fingers together behind his neck and gazed up at him, examining every wrinkle and scar, fighting the urge to kiss each and every one.

"I love you," he said softly while his thumbs tucked underneath the hem of your shirt, searching for any bit of your soft skin he could find. "I know you can't say it back yet and that's okay. I just really needed to tell you."

You blinked back your tears and nodded, pulling him down to your level and slotting your lips together once again. He sighed as his shoulders relaxed and for the first time everything just felt right so you tentatively flicked your tongue over his lower lip. You felt him smile before he allowed you to deepen the kiss, your tongue slowly and deeply massaging his as he pulled your body closer, pressing you firmly against him.

A deep groan rumbled from his chest when you raked your fingers through his hair, your knees practically buckling at the sound. He walked you backwards until you felt the counter pressing against your back, his kisses growing hungrier and his fingers gripping your hips tighter.

"Your food's getting cold," you mumbled, turning your face towards the oatmeal cooling on the stove.

"Don't care," he said, his lips grazing over your throat. He missed you so much and now that he finally had you, he couldn't get enough. When he dropped to his knees, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your jeans and his mouth ghosting over the apex of your thighs, you gasped and grabbed his hair, stopping him.

"I-I'm not ready for all that yet," you admitted as the warmth of embarrassment flooded your cheeks and chest. "I'm sorry, I know you've been waiting for so long-"

"Shh, it's okay," he said sincerely, then stood back up with a grunt. He cupped your face and gave you a gentle kiss. "I can wait. I'll wait forever, I don't care," he still cradled your jaw as he nuzzled his nose alongside yours.

"This is all I ever want, anyway," he whispered, and you smiled.

It was the first day of your fresh start.

Nick had offered you time off to care for Joel but it quickly became apparent as the day went on that he was doing far better than any of you expected.

He only had a little trouble going up the stairs so the two of you spent the rest of the day in the living room. You had thought he was going to try and nap so you busied yourself with a book, his head resting in your lap as your fingers absentmindedly carded through his curls while you read on the couch, the fire crackling next to you. It wasn't until you lifted your hand to flip a page when you noticed his eyes on you and you grinned.

"I thought you were going to try and sleep?"

"Not very tired," he replied, gently reaching up for your wrist and putting your hand back in his hair. "Feels real nice," he explained. You put your book face down, the spine spread open to hold your place, and began playing with his hair again.

"Joel?"

"Hm?"

"Did you go to my parents' house?"

Shit. In all the chaos since arriving back in Jackson he never had a chance to tell you.

"Yes," he said, staring up at you from your lap, watching as the shadow from the flames danced across your face.

"Is that where it happened?" you asked, your eyes traveling to the side where he was stabbed. He nodded and you sniffled, dropping your gaze to the floor. "I thought so. Because of the pills," you said quietly, "my name was on the bottle."

"I know," he replied, watching as your eyes clouded with guilt. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

"You got hurt because of me," you said, lower lip trembling. "If I hadn't been so immature we could've talked about it but instead I pushed you away and you almost died trying to prove a point-"

"Hey," he cut you off and sat up next to you, "it's not your fault, don't you dare think that, alright?" He cupped your face but you still refused to meet his eye. "I fucked up. It was on me, okay? I fucked up with Angie and I fucked up out there."

"You could've died," you said, two tears trickling down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs.

"But I didn't."

You took in a shaky breath and finally looked at him. "Don't do something like that ever again," you told him, an undercurrent of anger in your voice, and he smirked.

"Yes, ma'am."

He dropped his hold on your face and leaned back, stretching his arm across the top of the couch. "Can't deny it got results, though," he teased after a moment and you shot him a glare but he could see you biting back a smile. You picked up your book, leaning into his shoulder just a bit as you continued to read and he stared into the fire, his mind still reeling to catch up with how fast things changed. It felt like a dream.

"What did you go there for, anyway?"

Joel rolled his eyes. "It sounds so stupid now."

You put your book back down and twisted to face him. "I'm sure it's not."

With a groan, Joel pushed himself up from the couch and began to rummage through his backpack, which remained idle next to the door since the day before. You tucked your legs underneath you and watched curiously.

When he pulled out a familiar looking binder, a faded beige color with a black trim, you could have sworn your heart stopped.

"I wanted to give you somethin' that you would recognize. Somethin' that felt like home," he began, holding it out to you. "Maybe bring you some comfort or... I don't know. Like I said, it sounds stupid now."

"No," you whispered as you carefully took the album from his hands. "Not stupid, Joel." You pursed your lips as you stared at the cover, your fingertips gently skirting over the fabric. Your family was right in your lap. So many wonderful memories... right fucking there.

The tears welled up without warning and began to pour down your cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and you nodded.

"Yeah," you said, laughing through the tears. "You... you gave me my family back, Joel. How-" your voice cracked and you averted your gaze, doing your best to compose yourself but you knew it was no use. "How could you think this was stupid? This is everything to me."

He gave you a shy smile and shrugged. "Then it was worth it."

He had been listening to you for the better part of an hour as you walked him through each photo in the album and his only regret was he wasn't able to stay long enough in California to find more pictures. He loved hearing you talk about your family, about your childhood, about everything you loved. The look on your face and the tone of your voice was all he ever wanted. You were so fucking happy, so content and at ease that he knew without a doubt if he had to go through it all over again, he would do it in a heartbeat.

"Oh my god, so this was taken the day Matty tried to teach me to surf," you said with a giggle, dragging his eyes from your face to a picture of you and your brother on the beach in wetsuits. "He had learned in college because he went to school on the coast. I told you that, right?"

"Yep," he said with a warm smile.

"Anyway, it went as well as you could imagine. I have no coordination whatsoever. I fell, like, every single time, no matter how small the wave... Oh! This must have been his graduation," you said, pointing to the next photo of the four of you all dressed up in front of a regal looking building. "He was so smart, Joel. He was going to be a chemist. Who does that? Who majors in Chemistry? I absolutely hated chem," you said with a shake of your head. Your eyes hadn't stopped shining since you opened the album and the smile never left your face. Your gaze softened and you quieted down as you stared down lovingly at the pictures, your fingers tracing over them delicately. Occasionally you would tell him a story and other times you would grow quiet and thoughtful. He sat by your side and just listened, letting you work through your feelings and memories at your own pace.

"I miss them so much," you eventually said softly.

"I know," he replied, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you, Joel," you said, voice thick with emotion when you turned to look at him. Your eyes were wide and wet with unshed tears, and he saw your throat bob when you swallowed tightly. "This means so much to me, I don't know how to put it into words."

"You're welcome, baby," he told you. He pinched your chin and leaned in to kiss you when a sharp knock sounded from the door.

He stood with a frustrated huff and you hid your smile, setting the photo album down on the sofa next to you.

"Hey, come in," Joel said once he opened the door. Tommy stepped through and shrugged off his coat, locking eyes and giving you a nod. "What'd you find?"

"There were only four. Two of 'em were half frozen and the other two didn't have much fight in 'em."

You made a face and looked away as Joel led Tommy into the kitchen.

"Who were they?" Joel asked, and you heard the telltale sound of liquid pouring from a bottle. You stood and made your way towards the kitchen.

"Don't know," Tommy admitted, tossing back the whiskey. Joel gave him a refill right as you were entering the room. "We questioned the two that were conscious but they didn't give us much. Said they were alone. Said they were part of a bigger group that got picked off."

"The men I killed?" Joel asked, brow furrowed as he took a sip of whiskey.

"They didn't say, but they did tell us a few of their guys were out scavenging and never made it back, so maybe."

Joel nodded and you leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms.

"You think they were tellin' the truth? That there ain't any more of 'em?"

Tommy shrugged. "Didn't have reason to think otherwise. We scoured the area. Couldn't find any other tracks-"

"But the snow coulda covered it up," Joel offered anxiously. He scratched his chin, staring blankly at the floor while the gears turned in his head. "They probably followed the horse tracks and when the snow got to be too much, they lost their way. They were comin' for me, Tommy."

For some reason it never occurred to you that those men were looking for revenge. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Or they were just lookin' for someplace warm. You don't know, Joel. Besides, it don't matter now. It's dealt with."

Joel didn't look convinced but he kept his mouth shut, for your sake. He could tell he was worrying you and he had already put you through enough as it was.

"Listen, I oughta get back to Maria. I'm sure she's got her hands full," Tommy said after a brief silence. He handed Joel his empty glass and shot you a look. "Don't worry, sugar. We got this under control."

You gave him a tight smile and moved out of his way so he could gather his things.

"Thank you," you told him quietly while Joel rinsed out their glasses.

His eyes flicked up to yours as he laced up his boots. "Don't mention it. Ain't nothin' bad gonna happen, I promise."

You wished his words brought you some comfort but you couldn't shake the nagging voice in the back of your head.

"C'mon. Why don't you show me more pictures," Joel urged once Tommy was on his way. It was clear he was trying to get your mind off things.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go to bed," you told him. He was in the middle of picking up your photo album when he paused and glanced up. His eyes scanned your face, clocking the anxiety you were trying to hide. He could tell you still felt responsible, even though he had insisted what happened wasn't your fault, and now the raiders following him back into the mountains just made matters worse.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," you replied, your voice sounding more confident as you tried to shrug off the bad feeling Tommy left. Your eyes flickered to his awkwardly. "Do you... need help getting up the stairs?"

He frowned and shook his head, too lost in his own head to pick up on what you were too nervous to really ask. "I'll be alright. Go get some rest, I'm gonna stay up for a bit."

After you went to bed, he tried to distract himself from the possibility he put the entire town, but more importantly, you, at risk. He poured another glass of whiskey and picked up a book, but he found himself rereading the same paragraph over and over for half an hour.

What a stupid fucking thing to do. He pinched the bridge of his nose, kicking himself for being so careless. Maybe he could convince you tomorrow to let him go out with Tommy. He trusted his brother, but he knew he would feel better if he explored the area himself. He knew he had to be careful. He made so much progress with you, he couldn't risk fucking that up, either, and based on the way you looked at him earlier, it was clear the prospect of him leaving Jackson again so soon scared you.

Warmth bloomed in his chest and the corners of his lips twitched into a smile. The idea of you scared didn't please him, but scared for him? Well, that was different.

The way he woke up that morning still felt like a dream. Your arms wrapped around him, your face nuzzled into his shoulder, your scent invading his senses. It felt strange for a split second until his memories came flooding back from a time when he woke up like that every single day and he foolishly wondered if you had finally remembered. Once you opened your eyes he knew instantly you hadn't, but somehow he was even more excited that someone as perfect as you found your way into his bed twice.

Bed.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes before tossing back the rest of his whiskey. He was procrastinating now, tending to the fire one last time before dragging himself back to his empty bed. How was he going to sleep when he knew you were right in the next room? God, what he wouldn't give to curl up in bed with you.

He froze, the poker hovering in the air halfway towards the fire as he thought back to your words when you went to bed, now hours ago.

Do you need help getting up the stairs?

You sounded a little strange but at the time he just chalked it up to Tommy's news about the raiders. When you asked if he needed help, were you trying to get him to come up and sleep with you?

"Oh, you fuckin' idiot," he growled to himself under his breath before slotting the poker back in the stand. Was it too late?

He crept quietly up the steps, hoping to see your light on under your door but unfortunately, your room was dark. Shit.

Changing into his sweatpants, he mentally chastised himself for being so goddamn thick and missing his opportunity to go to bed with you. After he washed up, he paced around his room, anxiously chewing his nail and wondering what he should do. Should he just go to sleep? Should he slip into your bed the way you did the night before? Would you be upset if he did?

Just when he thought he was about to wear a hole into the thin carpet he heard a light tapping on his bedroom door. He froze and held his breath, wondering if he imagined it until he heard it again.

He rushed to the door and whipped it open where he found you standing in the hallway wearing a thin T-shirt and sweatpants of your own. You didn't look like you had just woken up, your eyes didn't look like they were clouded with sleep. You were waiting for him.

Your gaze darted quickly over his bare chest, like you were trying not to look but couldn't help yourself. His cock twitched, excited by the notion that you could be fighting your own arousal, same as him.

"Can I stay with you?" you asked, your voice impossibly small and fuck, his heart squeezed in his chest at how sweet you were in that moment.

"Yeah," he breathed, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt. He widened the door and stepped aside, watching as you slipped past him and curled up underneath his sheets.

Neither of you said a word. He just flicked off the light and slid into bed beside you, turning onto his side and pulling you against him. His face nuzzled the back of your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist and he heard you sigh. He held you close and with tears in his eyes whispered how sorry he was, how he would never hurt you again, how he was weak and stupid and he loved you so much.

You didn't say much in return. Just the occasional nod or sniffle or squeeze of his hand in acknowledgement.

All of the stress and anguish from the past several months were the furthest things from both your minds as you fell asleep that night, each of you finally assured that everything was going to be okay.

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[amoreva]

KISS THE GIRL

—– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: two times luke knows he’s in love with you + one time he can’t hold it in anymore

warnings: pre tlt luke, ooc luke

a/n: percy jackson 🔛🔝 (request some fics for the characters), i think i ended this terribly, but i’ll fix it later at some point!

—– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

I. SCAR

“You are an idiot.”

That’s the first thing Luke hears when he wakes up in the Camp’s infirmary. He feels groggy, sluggish and slow and barely registered that you were in the room.

He faintly tasted his mother’s cooking. A small comfort for the consequences of failing his quest. His heart is filled with embarrassment and pity and dejection.

You snapped your fingers by his ears. “I know you’re awake. You hear me? You are an idiot!”

“If you’re here to make fun of me failing my quest, go away.” Luke groaned and turned on his side, despite the pain flaring in his abdomen.

"Luke." You said in a much softer tone. You were concerned about his injuries since he returned from the quest. "You know I wouldn't do that, not with something this serious.”

You helped him sit up in the infirmary bed and cup his cheek. He felt a gauze patch rather then your warm palm on his right cheek. “I’m saying you’re an idiot for not letting me come with you!”

“You can’t do everything by yourself.”

Love is fickle and strange thing. Luke and you promised that if either of you went on a quest, you’d bring each other. Yet, Luke couldn’t keep his promise.

He couldn’t see his girl—best friend, his best friend get hurt because of a stupid promise. He wouldn’t forgive himself if you went out he quest and got injured in some way, shape or form.

Even if you hadn’t gotten hurt, he might’ve— he would’ve gotten worse injuries from being distracted by your beauty. He could never tear his eyes from you whenever you entered the room.

In hindsight, it was a really bad way to go about things.

“I’m fine, aren’t I?” Luke responded and couldn’t hold himself back. He interlaced his fingers with yours, knowing you were still pissed when he didn’t choose you or anyone, for that matter, to join him on his quest to retrieve a Golden Apple from the Garden of Hesperides.

He resented his father and the gods for not caring for his wellbeing during the quest.

“Yes, but—” You protested.

At least you cared for his wellbeing. You caring about him was better than any god or goddess on Olympus.

His eyes softened. His mind screaming the words he was too scared to say to you out loud. “I love you.” He loved you for caring about his wellbeing. His safety.

“Yes, but nothing.” Luke retaliated and squeezed your hand to assure you. “I’m okay, I’m alive and have some cool ass scars now.”

Luke grinned as he was able to produce a laugh from you. Your laugh was like music to his ears. His own ambrosia in human form.

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Never.”

II. SPARRING

“Again.” Luke demanded as he pointed the celestial bronze sword at your throat. The sun beating down on the two of you as you trained. A past time as the days got boring.

“Fuck off.” You scoffed and laid back in the grass that laid beneath the pair’s feet. The grass tickling your arms and legs.

“C’mon! Up and at it. The momentum will wear off.” Luke helplessly convinced you to try and spar him again.

“Oh no, what ever will we do?” Sarcasm bled through your tone. You pushed yourself to sit up and leaned against the rack contained to celestial bronze swords.

Luke shook his head and grinned. He pushed back his chocolate curls to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He joined you on the grassy floor.

“Five minute break then.” Luke nodded.

“Ten minutes.” You negotiated and looked over at Luke. His scar was healing nicely, no infections—just a clean cut from his eye to his jaw. “You can’t expect to be up and at it after training with the greatest swordsman for an hour straight.”

Maybe it was the heat or maybe it was from the training. Luke’s cheeks became pink. He knew his siblings and other demigods talked about him being the “greatest swordsman”, but hearing it from you was different.

“You think I’m the greatest swordsman?” Luke said with a teasing grin.

“Not after I’m done with you.”

“Say that to the many times you hit the floor.”

“I was going easy on you!”

Luke and you burst out in laughter at your banter, unable to keep a serious conversation. He thought your laughter could brighten up the Underworld. Hades would even agree.

Again, those three words would cross his mind. “I love you.” He loved bantering with you back and forth. How dare he try to ruin the moment with his romantic phrases.

“C’mon!” You huffed and pushed yourself to stand up. You were obliviously to the admiration in his eyes. The celestial bronze sword gripped loosely in your hand.

“What happened to the ten minutes?” Luke titled his head up only slightly to look at you. A stupid grin on his face. He stood up to get in position

“I can train when I damn want too.”

“Don’t start complaining about being tired then.”

He never tore his eyes away from yours as you thrusted the blade at his torso.

III. STARS

Luke had no idea where the line between lover and friendship was crossed. He had absolutely no idea when he started to see you more as a crush rather than his best friend.

Though he did notice his stomach started to twist and turn every time he saw you. He noticed his heart raced a little faster every time he heard your laugh.

Luke found himself gravitating towards you during dinner, training, capture the flag—like a moth to burning flame. Would he find himself getting burned for pursuing you?

“Hey.”

Luke spoke as the wooden dock creaked beneath his feet. You were sitting on the edge of the dock. The night sky lit up with tiny bright lights. You gave him a smile (one that could melt his heart) and patted the space next to you.

“You doing okay?” Luke asked and sat next to you. His leg touching yours. The lake rippled. The moonlight shining down on it.

“I just—needed a break.” You reassure Luke. “From gods, goddesses, prophecies, quests…all of it.”

The chirps and cheeps of the birds and animals filled the silence. A background noise. Luke felt your head lean against his shoulder. His heart beat quicker. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Comfort, he convinced himself.

“You can’t really escape being a half-blood.” Luke consulted and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. You hummed in agreement.

You were quite glad Luke joined you. These nights on the dock, after dinner, were getting lonely. The silence is comfortable save for the wildlife in the forest.

Faintly, ever so faintly, you heard Luke speak three words. Three words you would never hear from him.

“I love you…”

Gods.

He didn’t even realize it. His lips were making the consonants and vowel sounds. Luke didn’t know until you picked up your head from his shoulder. Your eyes wide with shock and what he had hoped was…relief.

“What…?” You mumbled.

Did he just ruin his friendship with you? Did he just lose his best friend because he said his thoughts out loud? Luke thought he had better control over that.

“What?” He responded and let his arm fall from your shoulders.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Luke.”

His breath hitched. He felt lovesick. Like Aphrodite personally made his body malfunction during this moment. “I…”

“I love you…” Luke avoided your gaze like he was ashamed to have a crush on you.

How did you feel? Would you reject him in a heart beat? Would you ridicule him? Thoughts swam his mind.

Before he could get too into his head, he felt a soft pair of lips pressed against his. Your eyes closed and he willed himself to close his eyes as well. Melting, melting into your touch, your lips.

When you pulled away, his eyes opened. He was graced with the sight of you in the moonlight. “What?” He spoke breathlessly.

“What?” You responded slightly confused and scared you made the moment uncomfortable.

“You…” Luke paused and closed his mouth as he tried to formulate the words. To form a coherent thought. He just…he wanted that to never end. He finally got what he yearned for (and he wasn’t rejected?). He got you.

“Is this real?” Luke asked and you laughed. His stomach churned with butterflies.

“Yes!” You answered and interlaced your fingers with his.

“May I?”

“You’d be a pretty bad demigod if you didn’t.”

And once again, Luke got the kiss the girl. He got the kiss the girl he been pining over for gods know how long.

—– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

[archangeldyke-all]

sev def lays on top of u whenever she makes u mad until you stop being mad

ASDJFPWEWFPJD:LDF this is so fucking funny and cute

men and minors dni

the first time it happens, you and sevika are in your first real fight of your relationship.

sevika had stood you up on a date, only to show up on your doorstep five hours later bloodied and beaten.

the simultaneous sting of rejection mixed with the heartbreak of seeing your love in such rough shape resulted in you angrily patching sevika up in the bathroom, ranting at her as you tended to her wounds.

"b-baby, you know i've got a crazy job. sometimes i come home bloody. some nights i won't be able to come home at all. and you should know by now that i wouldn't fuckin' stand you up without a good reason."

"i know that sevika, which is why i'd fucking appreciate it if you could send a fucking messenger to me next time you gotta bail on our plans! i thought you were dead in a fucking ditch somewhere!" you cry.

sevika blinks, seemingly not having considered this point yet. "oh." she says, her heart breaking a bit as she realizes how worried you must've been. you're always worried about her; pouting when you find new bruises on her body and giving silco dirty looks when he's been treating her poorly, and sevika knows how hard you work to accept her lifestyle and job-- but she can only fucking imagine how scared you must've been for the few hours where she was missing. she'd die if she thought something happened to you.

"did you hit your head at all?" you ask, glaring down at your girlfriend while your hands gently move her head back and forth, studying her pupils.

"no."

"good." you grunt, dropping your hands quickly and angrily packing up the first aid kit. "i'm going to bed. you need to take a bath-- you stink." you spit, storming out of the bathroom.

sevika blinks, the full gravity of her fuck up hitting her-- and then she rushes after you.

you're cursing her out under your breath and slamming drawers as you change into your pajamas.

sevika cringes, desperately trying to think of a way to get herself out of the doghouse. "baby--"

"i don't wanna hear it, sevika. not tonight."

she gulps, and then does the only thing she can think to do.

in three big strides, sevika's pushing you onto the bed and collapsing on top of you. you squeak, then start to squirm underneath her.

"what the fuck are you doing!?" you ask.

sevika shrugs on top of you. "you're angry at me."

"...so!?" you squeal.

"so i'm squishing you until you love me again." sevika says.

you can't help but giggle, smacking her shoulder. "i still love you, jackass, i'm just mad at you."

"so i'm squishing the mad out of you." she says simply. you laugh, your anger slowly melting away at sevika's sweetness. "i'm sorry. really. i didn't-- i didn't even think of how scary that could be for you. i-i'll send someone next time i gotta stay late. i promise."

with the easy way you melt underneath her after that, sevika starts laying on top of you anytime you argue after that, too.

you bitch at her about how she's always letting food crust on her plates in the sink-- she lays on you.

she skips her dentist appointment and gets a cavity and you're pissed when you find out-- she lays on you.

she spoils the end of the book you're reading on accident, and, you guessed it-- she's laying on you until you finally sigh and forgive her.

it's nice. sevika always uses the time on top of you to figure out her words-- figure out a proper apology and something to make it up to you. you like the pressure of her body on top of you-- it helps the firey anger inside you disperse and it's reassuring to know that even when you're pissed at her, sevika's gonna stay with you.

plus, most of the time your arguments end when you start running away from sevika, insisting she don't lay on you this time, and she chases after you, both of you forgetting your grievances to giggle and chase each other around the house.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

[reidsdimples]

Claiming Marks

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

18+❤️‍🔥 MDNI‼️

Spencer can’t focus at work after you cover him in hickeys.

“Lay bag down,” you shove Spencer back onto the bed. You’re in his lap and you latch your mouth onto a clean patch of skin on his chest.

You suck hard and bite down until an angry red hickey appears. He sucks air through his teeth and grinds his dick up against your already used pussy. You had just finished riding him, just finished draining his cock for everything he had. Now you wanted to mark him.

You counted twelve marks on his chest, five on his abs, and placed your hand over his mouth as you bit down on his shoulder. His large hands gripped your naked hips and he whined into your hand.

“Such a good boy,” you praise. You lace your hands into his hair and pull his head back, exposing his throat.

You suck softer there but leave a small mark over his Adam’s Apple.

“Angel,” he half warns half moans.

You tighten your grip on his hair and mark the other side of his neck and shoulders.

“Fuck,” he pants and rolls his eyes back.

You finally move up to his mouth and kiss him hard, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth and releasing it.

“You’re free to go, Dr. Reid,” you tease and move off of him.

“Hotch is going to have a fit,” he smiles sheepishly as he pulls on his pants.

“Just wear a scarf,” you beam and cross your legs on his bed.

He mocks you playfully and tosses a pillow at your head.

“I’m going to have to,” he smiles.

—

Spencer pulls on the scarf which is wrapped around his neckas he flips through a file.

“Kid what gives? It’s 88 degrees outside,” Derek asks and leans on his desk.

“I always wear layers,” he clears his throat.

“Maybe, but…” he yanks the side of the scarf down and gets a glance at the purple hickey there. “Woah!”

“Shh, shut up,” Spencer stands as his cheeks turn red.

“Pretty boy got himself a vampire!” He laughs.

“What happened?” Emily joins in.

“Nothing,” Spencer looks at Morgan wide eyed.

“Spencer has girlfriend,” Derek tattles.

“Awww! Who is she?” Emily asks.

“It’s new, her name is Y/N,” he admits.

He exits the conversation when Hotch calls him to the office for a debriefing.

Later Spencer shifts his legs under his desk. He’s far too aware of every mark you’ve left on him.

His clothes rub against the ones on his chest and abdomen, sending need straight to his cock. He clears his throat and blinks away the images of you swallowing his cum that morning before biting down on his stomach. Fuck.

He paws at his neck, reminding him of how sweet your pussy tasted first thing in the morning. He dropped his pen. He couldn’t focus.

“Hey Reid, how many murders are there in Cincinnati per year?” JJ interrupts his perverted thoughts. 

“In the last five years there have been an average of 72 murders per year,” he answers, distractedly.

“No way, I call bullshit,” Derek points at him.

“Look it up,” Spencer holds his hands up defensively. His sweater shifts and images flash of your filthy mouth tracing every inch of his skin and marking it for your own.

“The kids right,” Rossi announces.

“I’m going to get you one of these days, lover boy,” Derek teases.

“Good boy, my good boy, fucking me so good,” your voice floods him in waves.

“I ah- I’ll be right back,” Spencer stammers.

He stiffens and rushes to the restroom. His cock is straining against his pants by the time he locks the door behind him. He lifts up his shirt and stares at the marks left by your perfect mouth.

A small moan escapes him when he presses his palm against this cock for some relief. He didn’t want to have to do it, but he couldn’t help it.

He pulls his cock free and licks his palm before gripping it firmly. All over again it’s your mouth, your pussy, your ass clenching around him and it drives him crazy.

He pumps his cock with steady long strokes, biting down on his lip as he revels in the sensation. He recalls yours moans, the look on your face when he stretched your cunt around him. The way you clawed at his back when he slammed into your cunt completely.

He could still feel your cum dripping down his balls and legs as he fucked you. He could see you biting down on your pretty plump lips and rubbing your tight pussy for him.

He could hear you screaming his name as he pounded into your ass which drove you crazy. You came so hard just from that alone that he explodes into the toilet just remembering your mewls and cries into his bedsheets.

“Fuck,” he rasps and leansagainst the wall.

He pushes his hair back from his eyes and fixes himself in the mirror.

He couldn’t wait to get home to you.

[ikarakie]

mike has a panic attack.

it's sudden and it's terrifying and eddie has no idea what to do. one minute they're all yelling and laughing and just playing d&d, and the next, mike is collapsing to the floor struggling to breathe. gasping out the same two names over and over again. the panic attacks eddie's had before were never, never this bad. for a fucking awful moment he thinks he's about to watch wheeler die.

lucas stays with him, crouched by his side and talking in gentle tones. murmuring words of assurance that, while good, don't seem to reach his friend. dustin had sprinted out of the room yelling into a walkie talkie as soon as mike went down, so eddie has no fucking idea what he's up to. not that he's able to focus on much other than the kid (because, god, he's so young, what the hell has happened to him?) trying and failing to just breathe.

he tries the shit that worked for him, trying to get him to breathe in time with his counts, but it's like mike's ears are full of cotton. there's not even a hint of recognition in his eyes as either him or lucas speak.

dustin returns exactly three minutes later, trailed by the last guy eddie would've ever expected to walk through the doors of hellfire club. steve harrington zeroes in on mike like a hawk, crosses the room quickly and crouches in front of him. lucas scoots away, visibly relieved to see steve, so eddie reluctantly does the same. mike's knees are to his chest and he's heaving sobs so powerful they wrack his entire body. for about thirty infuriating seconds, steve just watches.

"oh god- oh fuck- fuck- will, will-" mike is saying, through stilted breaths. "will, el- el- i can't- they're-"

"mike." steve's voice is like honey, low and soothing in a way lucas' can't be yet. mike snaps his gaze up, finally proving his ears work. "where are you right now?"

"hawkins lab-" mike chokes, and eddie just listens, dumbfounded. "hawkins- starcourt- fuck-"

"no," steve says gently. mike stares at him, slightly less glazed. "where are you?" he asks again, a little more pointed. a few seconds pass. mike's eyes dart around the room.

"hellfire." he whispers, barely audible. steve nods, asks if he can come closer, if he can touch mike. the kid nods frantically, and then his hands are being peeled from where they were curled protectively against his chest. they're placed against steve's instead, and they spend the next few minutes breathing in tandem. harrington demonstrating and mike doing his best to follow.

his breathing eventually evens out, thank god, and the heart-wrenching sobs simmer down into quiet tears. mike all but throws himself into the embrace steve offers, tucking his head under the guy's chin and seemingly making himself as small as possible.

"it's okay, you're okay." steve promises, speaking into mike's hair as he gently rocks them back and forth. "they're okay. they're just fine, both of them. you looked after them so well, bud." he keeps whispering reassurances and sweet, kind words into the little cocoon he's crafted. mike stays curled up there for a while, making a wet patch on steve's shoulder.

then finally sounding more like himself, grumbles, "just 'cos we're hugging doesn't mean i like you." after maybe four or five minutes have passed. steve just huffs a laugh, because despite his words, mike is still clutching steve's arms as he pulls back.

"of course not." steve agrees. mike smiles as his hair is carefully ruffled. turns and reaches for dustin and lucas, who waste no time in piling themselves onto their friend. steve doesn't go far though, keeping a hand in the hair at the nape of mike's neck.

it's only then that he finally makes eye contact with eddie, who's watched the whole thing go down with a sick curiosity. because... who was this guy? this was not king steve, or the asshole, cookie-cutter jock steve harrington that eddie knew of. eddie had thought dustin's nickname for him of 'number one babysitter' had been an exaggeration; that maybe he'd watched them a grand total of three times back when he and nancy wheeler dated, and dustin had developed some fixation on him.

but... no, here he was. having brought hard ass michael wheeler down from easily the worst panic attack eddie had ever seen with the ease of someone who's done it a million times. (and wasn't that a harrowing thought?)

"you mind cutting it a bit early tonight, man?" he asks, softly, and it takes eddie a second to register that he's speaking to him. "i know you've still got, like, 20 minutes, but-"

"no, no," eddie cuts him off, kind of desperate for wheeler to get home and rest. "shit, man. that was... yeah, of course, take him." steve smiles appreciatively (an annoyingly pretty expression eddie never imagined him capable of, let alone directing at him), and turns back to the kiddie hug pile.

"hey, boys? mike?" he calls, all gentle and warm. it makes eddie's heart ache; even more so when all three turn to steve with big, shiny eyes. mike's peek out from dustin's arms. "how about we head off now, and stop at that payphone on the corner of glenview on the way home? give the byers a call in california?"

mike nods, hinging on desperate. dustin and lucas give him one more good squeeze before agreeeing themselves. steve corrals them all up, bids a fucking goodnight to the present company, (plus an extra one for eddie specfically), and shuffles them out of the room. eddie, and the rest of hellfire, are left stunned in the wake of babysitter harrington.

(when mike tries to apologise the next day, eddie absolutely refuses to accept it- and, at lucas' timid request, writes the mind flayer he'd introduced out of the campaign entirely. the next session, it's like the thing never existed.)

[xspeter]

LOML

luke castellan x fem!reader

angst, angst, angst. mini blurb to help me get my flow back :) based off of LOML by Taylor Swift.

Percy Jackson isn’t sure what’s worse. Luke’s betrayal, or the look on your face when you find out. He’s sure he’ll get nightmares about it.

You’d had a wide smile on your face, the woven flower crown in your hair hinting that you’d just been out at the flower fields with your siblings.

You’d been called to help patch up Percy after what you had been told was a fight, but the somber energy in the room immediately told you something was off. It was too suspicious to have Chiron, Mr. D, Percy, Annabeth, and Grover all in the room for what was supposed to simply be slapping on a band-aid.

The smile on your face fell, and was instead replaced with a subtle frown. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you crossed your arms over your chest uncomfortably. “Is something wrong?” You asked, eyeing everyone in the room.

Percy swallowed and hesitantly glanced to Annabeth, who already had the remnants of tears in her eyes. And if the glossiness told him anything, it was that she was about to burst out crying again. Not that he could blame her.

He watched your frown grow as recognition flashed across your face. You and Luke always had been so in tune to each others emotions, he’s honestly surprised you didn’t notice the lack of his presence earlier.

“Y/N-” Chiron started, but you interrupted him. “Where’s Luke?”

Silence.

Percy didn’t believe in soulmates. It’s weird, because after finding out about greek gods and mythological beings being real, you’d think soulmates wouldn’t be that far off the table. But, they were.

But you and Luke had something Percy could tell was special. It wasn’t just a relationship - it was like a sacred bond bestowed upon the two of you by the gods themselves. Wherever Luke was, you’d be sure to follow, and vice versa. Fuck, you’d practically finish each other’s sentences as corny as that sounded.

That’s why he was so confused Luke would throw it all away so easily.

“Y/N…” Mr. D started, and Percy was sure it was the most emotion he’d ever even seen from him. You immediately began shaking your head, hands trembling as you stared at the ground. “Where is he?” You questioned again.

More silence followed, and Percy knew no one wanted to answer you, and he could understand why. Still, he took a breath and forced himself to look up at you. “He’s gone.”

It was like the five stages of grief flashed in your eyes simultaneously - merging together but still so distinguishable.

“No, he’s not.” You whimpered, “He’s in his cabin. I just saw him barely an hour ago-”

“He tried to kill Percy,” Annabeth finally breathed out. “He wants to overthrow the gods.”

You shook your head, a disbelieving laugh leaving your lips as you ran a trembling hand through your hair, moving up the white flower crown until it was lopsided on your head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said through gritted teeth, “Luke wouldn’t do that. I know him. I know him. He wouldn’t. It must’ve been- been a shapeshifter or something. I mean, with all the other monsters out there there has to be a shapeshifter right? Yeah. That’s all it was. It wasn’t Luke.”

Percy squeezed the table in front of him until his knuckles were white, doing his best to choke down his tears. It was a tempting idea, one that he’d have no problem believing if it hadn’t been for the look in Luke’s eyes. No monster could recreate that kind of rage.

“It was him,” Percy spoke up, “I know it was.”

“You don’t know anything!” You yelled, eyes wild and skin paling, “You don’t know Luke like I do! He wouldn’t do this! Sure, he gets mad at the gods sometimes, but don’t we all? It doesn’t mean we’re gonna up and start a whole rebellion!”

Grover attempted to reach out to you, tears forming in his dark eyes, “I know it’s hard-” He attempted, but you practically jumped away from him. “Don’t touch me.” You growled lowly, pointing an accusing finger in his face. Grover didn’t argue.

Everyone in the room stared at you in pity, and it made you sick. You’d show them. Luke was in his cabin right now, probably trying to sleep or playing with one of the younger campers. Because that’s what Luke does - that’s the Luke you know.

You were the love of his life. He’d told you just two days ago during a secret picnic on the beach way past your curfew. You’d choked up, but told him the same through your tears. Luke had kissed you so hard you swore you were seeing stars, and you remember thinking this kiss had felt different than all the others. Almost desperate, like he was trying to grasp onto something he knew he was losing.

No.

Luke was in his cabin.

You’d left the Big House without even a grunt, practically sprinting across camp to the Hermes cabin. You didn’t care about the weird looks the stragglers were giving you, didn’t care about the soft ache in your legs. You needed to see Luke. Needed to feel him. Needed to intertwine your souls again.

You were panting by the time you reached it, throwing the doors open and looking around wildly. “Luke?” You called, voice breaking a bit as you did.

“Y/N?” someone said, you didn’t know their name. Or maybe you did. You honestly couldn’t remember right now, the only thing running through your mind was Luke.

“Have you seen Luke?” You asked.

The camper shook her head, blonder hair falling in front of her face as she did. “Hey, are you okay-”

You were gone before she could even finish her sentence. You spent hours searching for him, like he was a pair of house keys you’d lost and desperately needed in order to go home.

The moon was high into the sky by the time you stop, your vision blurry with tears and muscles burning. You’d even prayed to your father at some point - which was something you rarely ever did.

You fall to your knees in the grass, hand clutching at the golden bracelet on your wrist. Like had given it to you two nights ago on the beach, embroided in it were the letters “LOML.”

He’dtold you it was because you were the love of his life, but right now in this moment, with your chest puffing and knees weak, you think it may stand for something else.

Because while you may be the love of Luke Castellan’s life, he was the loss of yours.

[anneapocalypse]

On Wuk Lamat, and Female Characters in FFXIV

The Thing with Wuk Lamat is you can tell me you think she had too much screentime; you can give me numbers on how many lines she had or how many scenes she's in relative to other characters or other expacs; you can prove to me "objectively" that she gets more focus than other main NPCs; you're simply not going to convince me that this is something I should be unhappy about. And not just because it's silly to think you can use numbers to prove a story is good or bad and make someone else go, "Wow, you're right, let me just throw away all the joy I experienced with this story and revise my opinion because you've scientifically proven to me that I'm wrong."

Because while I love Final Fantasy XIV and I have greatly enjoyed its story in so many ways, fundamentally one of my biggest beefs with this game has been how much female characters have been denied complex character arcs and growth and agency and interiority.

Minfilia gets treated as a sacrificial vessel who lives for everyone but herself and doesn't even get to have feelings about her own death because that entire arc is focused on a male character's angst about it instead. The game tells us in the Heavensward patches that Krile sees Minfilia as her best friend and then just forgets about that later and never follows up on what that loss must have meant to her. Ysayle is basically right about most of what she's fighting for but harboring a bit of self-delusion is apparently such a terrible sin that she has to pay for it with her life, while her male foil is deemed so worthy of salvation that there's a whole plot point about how important it is that we risk our lives and others' lives to save him. Y'shtola is a major character who's been around since the beginning, and the game keeps dropping maddeningly interesting things about her (apprenticed to a cranky old witch in a cave! saved her own life and the lives of her friends with an illegal and dangerous spell and it worked! reserved and undemonstrative yet regularly through her actions reveals herself to be deeply caring! disabled!) and then shows complete disinterest in following up on any of those things with the kind of depth and care shown to male characters with complex arcs like Urianger.

In general there is also a repeated thread of female characters being portrayed as weak or overly emotional: Minfilia is weak because she doesn't fight and needs to be eaten by a god in order to gain "a strength long sought." Krile is portrayed as not being able to pull her weight with the Scions (despite the fact that she actively keeps five of them from dying in Shadowbringers) and the only thing they could think of for her to do in Endwalker was be yet another vessel for Hydaelyn (hmm, that sounds familiar) and it's not until Dawntrail that she gets much actual character development in the main story and even that has to come alongside "Look, she can fight now so that means she's useful." (And I love Picto!Krile, I'm just saying, there's a pattern.) Alisaie, despite having very good reasons for needing to find her own path apart from her brother, is portrayed as having to prove herself when she returns, that she's "not the girl she once was," and "will not be a burden" (while Alphinaud is repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt and reassurance and affirmation from other characters even after he takes on responsibilities he isn't ready for and fucks up big time).

And if you follow me you know I adore Urianger, and I love Alphinaud and Thancred and Estinien too, so please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here! I'm not knocking those characters, or saying we shouldn't also love them. I just use them as a comparison to demonstrate how the female characters have been neglected.

Lyse has some of the stronger character development among the female Scions, and while she's still kind of portrayed as being too emotional and hotheaded in early Stormblood, I think it's actually explored in more depth in a way that I like; Lyse has good reasons for wanting to fight for her nation's freedom, but having been away from Ala Mhigo for several years now, she needs to understand the stakes for the people who've been there fighting for years, what they've lost and still have to lose. She grows as a person and rises to the challenge of leadership, and I'm even okay with the fact that she leaves the Scions afterward because it feels right for her to stay in Ala Mhigo, and at least she doesn't die.

And by all accounts she was, like Wuk Lamat, widely hated when her expansion came out.

Unironically I think the other female Scion with the strongest character arc is Tataru. She tries to take up a combat job, finds that it's not for her, and decides to focus on where her strengths are instead. In doing so, she both holds the Scions together as an organization in the absence of a leader by capably managing their finances, and also comes into her own as a businesswoman and makes international connections that benefit both the Scions and her personally. In contrast to Minfilia, she's not portrayed as weak because she doesn't fight, and is actually allowed to be an important character who's good for more than being sacrificed. Tataru is still distinctly in a supporting role for the player character, however, and her character arc happens as a side story that takes up a relatively small amount of screentime over several expansions, which I think is probably why she doesn't evoke such a negative reaction.

But there is a pattern of the game's writing showing disinterest in the interior lives of female characters generally, and in making their growth the focus of a story.

So yeah, I'm going to be happy about Wuk Lamat! I'm going to enjoy and celebrate every moment of her character arc, of her personal growth, of watching her put the lessons she's learned into action. I'm going to love and treasure every moment when she gets to be silly, embarrassing, emotional, scared, grieving, confused, upset, seasick, impulsive, and still deemed worthy of growing into a hero and a leader. I will love her with all of my soul and you simply will not convince me that it wasn't worth the screentime after such a profound imbalance for basically the entirety of the game. We've never had a major female character get such a strong arc with this much love and attention put into it and that means more to me than I can truly say. The backlash to it is disheartening, as this kind of thing always is, but I'm not going to let it ruin the wonderful experience I had playing it and how much joy it continues to bring me.

And for those of you who don't want any of that for a female character, thank goodness you have Heavensward and Shadowbringers and Endwalker and no one can take those away from you.

(And if you follow me you know that I love Shadowbringers and Endwalker and have very fond memories of Heavensward despite some issues with it, so not only can I not take that from you, I am not trying to!)

Some of us have been real hungry for a character like this with an arc like this, so, I think, y'know, maybe we can have that. As a treat.

[bueckers-babygirl]

I Need You (Paige Bueckers x black!fem!reader)

Summary: You and Paige go through a rough patch, you only see one solution

Warnings: Just a lot of cursing

word count: 1346

I was tired. I was tired of the constant arguing, silent treatments, and petty comments. The most tiring thing of them all was trying to keep up the picture of a happy couple when I knew we were the complete opposite at the moment. 

I woke up around eight in the morning, feeling around the bed for Paige’s warmth. When I was met with a cold part of the bed, the memories from the night before came rushing back. The screaming, the insults, and the words that could never be taken back. Which then led to Paige sleeping on the couch. We have had some pretty bad arguments, but this one definitely takes the cake. I rubbed my burning eyes, which were dry from the tears, and made my way out of our room to the kitchen. As soon as I opened the door, I was met with Paige, making coffee in the kitchen. Our eyes met, but we didn't say a word to each other. I hesitantly made my way to the kitchen island and took the coffee that she slid in front of me. We sat in an uncomfortable silence, which was considered normal at this point, waiting for the other to say something. Anything.

 As we sat there I wondered to myself. I wondered how everything went to shit after a beautiful three-year relationship. I wondered how such a loving apartment that felt like home soon turned into a place you dreaded waking up in. I wondered if I had the opportunity to go back in time, what I would have to do to prevent all of this from happening. 

With a deep breath, the first word in five minutes is spoken. “Paige…we need to talk” I say with a shaky breath. Paige’s head shoots up, her eyes filled with concern. “All we’ve been doing for the last month is arguing. It’s literally draining the life out of me” I say as I move my coffee away to make sure I am more focused on the conversation. “I know. I'm sorry but I've just been stressed, babe. You can’t get mad at me for being stressed” Paige scoffs and turns away. “Did I fucking say I was mad at you for being stressed, Paige? No, I didn't! So don’t put-” I take a deep breath, not wanting to start another draining argument between us. Paige noticed that I was more frustrated than usual. “Look, I'm sorry. Can we just lie down and watch a movie? I just wanna forget last night happened” Paige suggests as she takes my hand in her’s. This is the bullshit that makes me so mad. I don’t want to ignore the issue. That's all she ever wants to do.

“No, Paige. We have to talk. We can’t keep ignoring this. If we ignore it all the time it just gets worse and worse” I stand up and walk around the small space of our apartment. “I don’t feel like talking about it. I just wanna sleep and lay with you. The couch wasn’t the most comfortable” Paige laughs, trying to soften the mood. “I understand Paige. However, what happened last night was just…it was a lot” I sigh, rubbing my hand through my tight coils. “ Oh my god. Are you seriously still upset about that? I told you about eighteen times you have nothing to be jealous of” Paige's voice gets louder, as she remembers how ridiculous she felt the conversation was. “You constantly telling me ‘Don’t worry about it’ and ‘You're overreacting’ doesn’t ease my fucking nerves, babe. It makes me feel like I'm delusional and I know I'm not” I say, becoming more and more frustrated with every word that leaves my mouth.  “I never said the you were delusional, babe! I’m telling you that you have nothing to worry about. If you don’t believe me I don’t know what to tell you. What do you want me to do” Paige rubs her hands over her face as she makes her way over to the couch. 

“I don’t know Paige! I honestly don’t know but you don’t understand. The way you say these things makes me feel…like I'm this weird insecure girlfriend who needs you to coddle her all the time” I say walking over to stand in front of her. She slightly, but noticeably rolls her eyes. I scoff and walk into the bedroom, just needing to get away from her. To my misfortune, she follows me. “Baby! I am trying my best to figure out what you want. You're acting fucking weird and I don’t know what you want” Paige exclaims. I stood and looked at her for a while….what did I want? 

Why were we always having these useless arguments that felt like they were going nowhere? Was I trying to prove something? Were we trying to keep something alive that just wasn’t there anymore? What the fuck was going on.

“Hello? Seriously what is going on with you” Paige asks as she annoyingly waves a hand in front of your face. “Paige” I pause, not exactly sure what to say. “I think we need to take a break” Tears finally fall from my eyes. Paige’s entire demeanor changes, shock filling her body. “What the fuck are you talking about” Paige asks with a shaky voice. “I just feel like we should take a break…this relationship needs a break” I walk over to the closet, packing a bag full of enough clothes until I can get the rest of mine. “Why would we need to take a break Y/n? Because we had a few arguments? That makes no sense” She exclaims, following me into the closet. “Paige! We have been constantly fighting for a fucking month now! Im fucking tired” I yell while clapping my hands, hoping to get my point across. Paige’s eyes fill with tears, both of us motionless. It felt like someone had just stabbed me in the heart.

 I would never in a million years have guessed that I would be packing my clothes to take a break from the love of my life. Paige all of a sudden takes my hand in hers, staring into what felt like my soul. “Y/n…please. Don’t leave. I'm sorry” Tears fall down the blonde's face as I drop my duffle bag to the floor for a split second. Every bone in my body was telling you to stay, to forget everything that had happened. They were telling me to just sit on the couch like I usually would and brace for the next argument that would ring throughout the apartment. However, my heart was telling me that you needed time apart so that we could get better. 

I take the girl's face in my hands, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. “It’s not forever Paige. I promise,” I say, trying to keep a strong face on. “But we need some time apart so that we can get better…I need you to understand” I whisper. Paige is hesitant but nods her head. I finally let out a shaky breath as she sniffles and leaves the room. As she closes the door I let out another shaky breath that turns into a sob. 

As I calm myself down I finish packing my bag with enough clothes to keep me through the “break”. Once I finished, I walked out into the living room to see Paige curled up on the couch, eyes red from her tears. With a shaky breath, I walk over to her, giving her a passionate kiss before making my way to the door. With my hand on the handle, I hesitate, turning to Paige to look at her for the last time in a while. “I love you, P,” I say, with a smile and salty tears falling down my face. “I love you too, Beautiful” Paige sniffles and laughs. With those last words being said, I close the door to our apartment, ready to see what life has in store for me until I see her next. 

This was my first REALLY long fic! I hope yall enjoyed and I MIGHT make a part two cuz I hate when some angst don't have a happy ending <3

[embarrasingmf]

what an idiot

PAIRING: Dean Winchester x reader

SUMMARY: you don’t listen to Dean after he gives you an order, and now he’s smug about it.

WORD COUNT: 668

WARNINGS: a little bit of swearing, not beta’d so there may be typos…

A/N: I had no idea what to make the title ugheklekwjfj. also would’ve loved to write more but I couldn’t think of anything 😭😭

prompt/idea requested by @0ffwiththeirh3ads !

“Y’need to listen to me next time.” Dean chastised you. He had been doing so for the last ten minutes.

All because he had told you not to waltz on into the vampire nest like you owned the place.

For context, you and Dean were hunting down a vampire nest.

Well, aspiring vampire nest considering there was really only four vampires. And you thought you could take them all on your own.

You remember Dean’s words so clearly: “Don’t go running in there without me.”

Of course you didn’t listen, you practically bolted in there while shouting “Who made you the leader?” after him.

Now that you think about it, you should’ve listened to him. Because now you were stuck with Dean patching up your injuries from trying to take on four vampires by yourself.

You could just feel the smug aura coming off of him in waves. He was fucking enjoying this. He was enjoying the fact that he was able to scold you for not listening to him.

In your defense, he wasn’t the actual leader of whatever Godforsaken team you, Sam, Castiel, and Dean had named Team Free Will.

Dean probably just gave the title to himself, because he was the oldest. Well, oldest physically considering Castiel was a literal angel.

“Will you listen to me next time?” Dean’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you looked over at him.

He was currently knelt down by your side so he could get better access to the deep gash on your torso as you sat on an uncomfortable motel chair.

You cleared your throat, shrugging your shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Dean tsk’d, shaking his head. “‘m gonna need a more definitive answer than that, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Dean called everyone that. But he used it more on you to get under your skin.

And it worked, it worked so well.

You felt your head fall back, finding the popcorn-textured ceiling much more interesting than Dean all of the sudden.

You could feel his green eyes on you as he waited for your reply. You groaned before muttering a weak “yes,” under your breath.

“What was that? Didn’t quite hear ya.” You grit your teeth, you could hear Dean’s smirk. You didn’t even have to look at him!

“Yes.”

That reply was much better than before, at least according to Dean it was, as he let out a small hum of contentment.

“Good,” He grinned, suddenly tugging on the makeshift stitch he had created to sew your wound tight.

You jumped in your seat as the sudden pain that shit through you. “Jesus Christ-!”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “Nope, just me.”

You wanted to slap him. You wanted to slap some sense into him so bad.

“Fuck you…” You grunted under your breath, Dean didn’t reply as he kept working on your wound. His touch much more gentle now.

You averted your gaze from the ceiling and looked over at Dean’s hands deftly stitching your gash closed.

It would definitely scar, but hey, at least it would make a cool story to tell in the future.

After about five minutes, Dean patted your leg before standing up.

He stretched, his back and knees popping from kneeling down and being hunched over.

“I think you should get me some pie as a reward for actually patching you up.” Dean teased, crossing his arms.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

“Nah, you can get that yourself.”

Dean pursed his lips together. “Oh c’mon, just do it!” He insisted.

“Fine!” You relented, shoulders slumping a bit. “But you owe me then.”

Dean raised his hands in the air as you pointed a finger at him. “Okay, I owe you a favor then I guess.” He chuckled, patting your back as a sign for you to get going and get him his pie.

“Better be back before I fall asleep, wouldn’t want to eat a cold pie in the morning.” He commented before you walked out of the room.

—————————————————————————

reblogs and feedback r appreciated! they keep me motivated <3

[syoddeye]

hear me out... and this might sound stupid (because it sounded way cooler in my head)

Kate using her code name "Watcher" + exhibition kink

i'll see myself out

where are you going, get back here!!!

go for watcher

kate laswell x f!reader | 1.9k words cw: exhibitionism, semi-public outdoor masturbation, vibrators, dirty talk, kate laswell calling you puppy a/n: lightly edited. posting and running!

“watcher?”

“go for watcher.”

“i’m in position.”

“are you?”

the purr to kate’s voice is your first clue she’s in a good mood—a relief since her vaguely worded text sent late last night did not inspire confidence.

>> eight pm. wear the usual. 

five words, followed by a pin drop for the precise location. you checked three times on your phone to ensure you were in the right place, then slipped your wireless headphones in. 

the park is mercifully quiet. peeking over your shoulder, you count the couples dotting the waterfront on benches or picnic blankets. you came early with a book to stake out a prime spot: an unobstructed view of the water and a modicum of privacy. thanks to the city’s efforts to rewild patches of the wharf, a nice thicket of ornamental grasses, shrubs, and flowers mostly obscure you from behind.

“yes ma’am.”

“good. you have what you need?”

you pat the folded blanket on the bench beside you and your bag. “yes ma’am.”

“and the…?”

heat flutters in your gut, and you nod, repeating once more, “yes ma’am. in position.”

she doesn’t ask any further questions. this isn’t the first time she’s tasked you like this, nor will it be the last. both of you know the words, the limits, and the rules. the call mutes, and the anticipation ratchets immediately. a frisson works its way down your vertebrae, one by one, and beneath the lightweight trench, you shift. thighs rubbing together, wetness already pooling under your skirt.

when a few minutes pass, long enough to watch a few boats in the harbor depart for their evening cruises, you think to check your phone. ensure the call wasn’t dropped. of course, the second your hand even twitches in the direction of your bag, the toy securely snug in your cunt whirrs to life.

“fuck,” the curse flies out of your mouth in a whisper. the hand you intended to grab your phone with instead raises to your face instinctively, though you lower it after a second.

“good girl,” kate returns. “open your coat, then hands down on the bench, baby.”

it’s unfair how wet you feel from less than a minute, especially with how you know it’s on one of the lower settings. your hands tremble as they unfasten the coat’s belt and part the material to let it hang open. your knees part instinctually, preceding the instruction that typically follows. then, despite the growing ache, you curl your fingers around the worn wood and stare into the bay. a dozen boats are out tonight, and you know kate’s on one of them.

she whispers in your ear a few more times with a low rasp, cooing from a distance when your breath hitches and cracks. her words heat your face alongside the fire in your abdomen, stoked by the toy. the vibe ramps up to a six out of ten, faintly audible at this point if someone were to try and join you. it’s torturous, hearing people on the path behind you, within spitting distance.

“kate…” you whine, knees shaking, wood cutting into your hands. your cunt throbs, fingers flexing in place.

“pull up your skirt, let’s see where she’s at.”

biting your lip, you start to turn your head to check for passersby, but kate chirps.

“didn’t say to look around. c’mon, baby. skirt.”

in the back of your mind, you know she wouldn’t really let a stranger see you like this. it’s just the thrill that someone could—or so you think as you gingerly peel your skirt up your thighs. you lift off the bench an inch to hike it up further, when two voices accompanied by footsteps cut through the headphone’s dampening.

“kate–”

“i see ‘em, you’re fine. christ, you’re soaked.”

you glance down and let out a shaky breath at the sight of your slicked thighs. the tail of the toy bobs with the vibrations, dripping. your attention is torn between the state of your pussy and the couple mere paces behind you, chattering on about the view. a foot drags on the pavement.

“blanket.”

in an instant, you snatch the blanket beside you and drape it over your lap, and muster the best, most casual i’m admiring the view and nothing else expression you can. 

“excuse me,” the man asks, flashing a smile as he and the woman you presume to be a wife or girlfriend walk around toward your front. “are you waiting for someone?”

the bench you occupy is certainly big enough for three or four people, and you’re plopped in the center of it. you open your mouth to answer and nearly choke as the vibe cruelly speeds up. without thinking, you cross your legs and nod furiously.

“yep. i am.”

the couple lingers, looking around the quiet park. “well, until they get here, do you think we could–”

“no, you can’t.” you blurt out, tight with frustration. usually, you’re kind, sweet, and patient. all the things kate likes about you, but the toy butts against that fucking spot that nearly has you seeing stars. only by digging a hand into your thigh under the blanket gives you the motivation to focus. “i’d like to be alone.”

the woman tugs on the man's arm and mutters something about leaving you alone.

“fine. have a nice night.” he says flatly, clearly ticked off, but he goes willingly with his partner.

kate’s back in an instant. “look at you, how mean.”

you groan quietly and pull the blanket away as the couple heads out of view. “you’re one to talk. y-you, fuck, turned it up…”

“oh, was that mean? here,” she says flatly, and the toy stops moving altogether. you reel, torn between literally taking matters into your own hands and pawing at your clit, and sitting pretty as she expects. “fix your legs. you don’t move unless i say so, puppy.”

the name hits your cunt like a slap, and you bite back a moan. the ache is almost unbearable as you uncross your legs and spread them wide. goosebumps dot your skin, the back of your neck prickling in renewed anticipation. “kate,” you start. “please, i’m sorry.”

she chuckles dryly, and you hear the sound of a cork popping. “yeah? you want me to turn it back on?”

you nod. the air chills the stickiness coating your pussy and inner thighs, the ribbons that snake down your ass. a shiver travels through you as a gust of wind blows in from the water. “please.”

something creaks on the other end. “we’ll see. why don’t you touch that pretty clit of yours instead. give her some attention. let me see the manicure i paid for.”

you ignore how she laughs when your hand instantly slides over skin, at the pleased hum that echoes your hiss. gently, as you’re incredibly worked up, you rub your fingers between your folds and cover your fingers in your slick. then, heart stuttering, you start to rub small, tight circles over your clit. it’s instantly too much and not enough.

she whistles low. “i like the color. suits you, compliments you nicely. a little more pressure.”

“it–”

“no back talk, baby—jesus, there’s gonna be a stain on your skirt.”

you keen at that, fingertips skimming the silicone where it plugs your hole. as if a pat will bring it back to life. she coaches you through the next several minutes, meanly cutting you off each time your breathing shifts, betraying precisely where you’re at. 

“mm, fuck.” kate, wherever she is, isn’t just testing your restraint but her own. you highly doubt she’s touching herself. when she gets like this, fresh off a string of bad days, probably when shit’s gone sideways elsewhere in the world, she needs to practice control at home. with you, preferably. needs to orchestrate something that’s guaranteed, to boss someone around who isn’t going to go rogue or challenge her. a good girl, as she always calls you.

“it feels so good,” you whimper, nearing the precipice yet again. your pussy clenches around the useless toy, nub twitching under your stroking fingers. “i can’t–can’t wait to show you.”

“yeah?” she asks, drawing a deep breath. “you gonna show me the mess you made when i pick you up?” 

you nod, lip swollen from biting it repeatedly. 

“always so good for me, baby. maybe i ought to…” she trails and briefly sounds distant in your ear. that’s when the vibrator returns to life, making you nearly jerk off the bench and onto the ground. “keep touching yourself.”

with one hand clutching the bench and the other working your clit, your eyes close to slits, blurry with unshed tears. fuck, you are so, so close.

“that’s it. keep going. can you hold it until ten?”

“i can–i can try.”

gradually, the vibrator climbs its settings, alternating between pulsing beats and ceaseless current. the warm, thrumming pressure of an orgasm returns, gaining strength as the toy maxes out. you pinch your clit and sharply tap your cunt a few times and hear kate groan.

“remind me to figure out how to mic you up. watching how wet you are doesn’t beat hearing it.”

you laugh, strained and breathless. sweat drips down the back of your neck. “kate, can i come? please?”

she hums. “beg just a little more, puppy.”

another burst of heat, twinned with the tension drawing tight in your belly, flares beneath your skin. the vibrator’s buzzing finds that spot again as if kate has that much control over it, and it hammers insistently. you’re going to come—with or without her permission—and you know what happens if you don’t earn it first.

“please, kate. please let me come, i need it, please.” 

the longest twenty or thirty seconds of your life pass.

“let’s see it.”

permission granted, you lean into it. your back arches off the bench a bit, still of a coherent enough mind to try and keep up the appearance of someone simply enjoying the evening. you stifle more moans as your orgasm climbs the last few steps, cresting then hurtling through your body in a shockwave. you whine and whimper as you come, squirming uncontrollably as kate takes her time lowering the vibrator’s settings until it’s still. the tail twitches where it hangs, your pussy pulsating as if greedily flirting with the idea of another.

“good girl. deep breaths.” she purrs, voice thick with affection. “do me a favor and leave that in for now.”

you nod, weary, and wipe your hand on your thigh. when she doesn’t scold you, you tug your skirt down, grimacing at the wet spot that immediately forms. the fabric soaks up the little puddle you left and clings to your ass as you stand. thank god for your coat.

“where are you?” you ask, scanning the water.

“heading to dock a, baby. i’ll be there in there in two minutes. can you walk alright?”

you huff and roll your eyes, risking whether or not she’s still watching. slinging your bag over a shoulder, you stretch your legs as you start for the docks. “it’s not like i got fucked fucked.”

she chuckles. “we’ll see how you feel in an hour.”

your core throbs at that promise, and you smile wickedly to yourself. a moment of silence passes as you near the water’s edge, and you see kate’s boat pulling closer. 

“watcher?”

“yeah, baby?”

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

[nexus-my-beloved]

Umbrella Academy is actually so devastating because what do you MEAN all of them lost their lovers. What do you MEAN Klaus lost Dave not once but TWICE and he was never brought up again. What do you MEAN Diego lost not only Eudora Patch but also got distant with Lila towards the end. What do you MEAN both Bens meeting Jennifer destroyed them + Umbrella!Ben couldn't have that one girl from Klaus' cult and had to love her from the afterlife. What do you MEAN Luther finally got out of the pseudo-incest relationship he had with Allison and married Sloane only to lose her so soon and never see her again. What do you MEAN Allison lost her first husband AND Ray because Ray walked out. What do you MEAN Viktor got screwed over by Peabody, lost Sissy, and then fumbled EVERY GIRL IN TOWN and never found someone he really loved the way he did Sissy ever again. What do you MEAN Five had to bring Dolores back to where he found her and then when he thought he had real love with Lila he got told he was just survival and it didn't mean anything. What do you MEAN Lila had this relationship with Diego that was on and off but she still loved him and yet she was with Five at some point and also lost Stan's mom (I'm like 90% sure there was some lesbian relationship going on there what the fuck was that). WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

⋆*·ﾟI read it in your eyes... misa x putellas!femreader

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

a night out appears to be the turning point in the journey of dealing with your heartbreak and, once again, misa is there to witness what she probably shouldn't have.

or; part of the as the flowers bloom, my heart does too universe

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

The van stopped on the curb of a small street, trees lining up every few metres and a tram whizzing past across the street. Alexia jumped out, walked up to the creme-coloured brick apartment building and dug a key out of her pocket before disappearing behind the doors. Alba pressed her face against the window of the van, eyes looking up as she sighed in exasperation,

"Bathroom light is still on. Prepare to wait for another decade before she's done." She tried to joke, but her face was set in a grimace. Misa wondered if it had anything to do with Alexia having had the same reaction when asked about her little sister earlier that week.

"Are you sure her girlfriend isn't keeping her hostage and forbidding her to leave?"

"God, yeah, remember when she whisked her away the second we touched down from Ibiza that one time? Those two are super-glued together."

A set of giggles rang through the car, but a few women, who clearly had more intel, fell silent.

Alba's lips immediately set into a thin line, "They've broken up, and this is the only time I'll warn you guys to never bring that woman up again. She's a pariah, a fucking deadly disease. For all I know, she doesn't exist. Or at least I can pretend she doesn't." Alba muttered the last part, crossing her arms and sinking into her seat with her eyebrows furrowed and a far-away look on her face. It still hurt her that she hadn't stepped in sooner, how she could've saved most of the heartbreak if she hadn't trusted you when you told her you were just going through a rough patch, and that was all. Her need to protect you had been there ever since newborn-you had been carefully put into her and Alexia's lap, and she'd played with your tiny fingers and watched you coo. Though she had been young herself, she had managed to comprehend the unspoken responsibility that came with being an older sister. Yet, she'd still failed by dismissing her worries when she thought you were mature enough and that you deserved her trust and respect. You'd told her not to worry, that you could handle it, and she'd given you the trust and support to back that claim. If only Alba had known what had really been going on behind closed doors, things might have been different now.

The van was awfully silent after Alba's comment for all of the five minutes it took for Alexia to reappear with you strolling behind her, face cast down to the ground where your heels clacked against the cobblestoned pavement. The short maroon summer dress that clung to your upper thighs made you look absolutely gorgeous, even if it made Misa feel oddly underdressed with her jeans and top. But even if you'd decided to wear joggers and a sweater, she knew you would've still outshone everyone in that van. In her eyes, anyway.

She caught the quickest glance of your face, despite you making it your job to barely lift your head to acknowledge the others in a silent greeting, but she had managed to catch the sullen look nonetheless.

The intense scent of freshly applied perfume wafted through the van, and Misa, ashamedly so, realised it wasn't the same one you'd used during your last vacation. That one had been soft and light, with a tinge of something citrusy, something fresh. Perhaps, it was your designated summer scent, and going to a club required something a little heavier to stick through the night. Your powdery floral musk enveloped her senses, and she had no other option but to bask in it as the van revved and left your street.

Alexia had gently ushered you to sit between her and Olga, your sister's girlfriend immediately pulling you into her side. Misa watched from the back row as you let her, like some brittle puppet who otherwise couldn't sit up without crumbling. Alexia and Olga shared a look over your head, like a silent exchange of their worries, allegiance and support for you. But Misa realised it was a silent promise when they dipped their heads in confirmation.

The van never erupted into loud laughter again, not after Alba's breaking news, but the occasional whispered small talks softly picked up again.

A ringtone cut through the hushed silence, Hey Ya! by Outkast blaring through the van. Feeling the vibration in your lap, you opened your clutch and dug out your phone, surprised to see the caller ID on there.

Though Alexia had deleted everything that reminded you of your ex-girlfriend from life, she hadn't breached your privacy and taken your phone to get rid of the countless photos and text messages she knew were still on there. She thought you would've been wise enough to do so yourself, seeing what your ex had done to you.

Still, it surprised her when she curiously glanced at your screen. Her brows shot up to her hairline, and she immediately made a move to snatch the device out of your hands, not even to restrict you from answering, per se, but to give the woman who had ruined you another piece of her mind.

"No- Alexia!" You rushed out, holding the phone out of her reach, knowing full well what she would do if she got your phone, "Please, don't make it worse."

Her face was pure disgust and malice, "Why's she calling?"

"Well, I wouldn't know without answering, would I?"

She gave you a pointed look at your attitude. That side of you hadn't come out since your teenage years, and though she missed when you'd still been young and innocent since those days had been fleeting, she didn't want them to return to her like this.

"You're not thinking of answering her, are you?" She shot back harshly, missing the way Olga softly shook her head to not give in and fuel her little sister's fire.

You gasped when the phone was plucked out of your grip from behind, long nails scratching your hand through the movement. Instantly, you turned around to stare at Alba's blank face. The chipper tune of the song still cut through the charged silence before your sister turned off your phone and pushed it beneath the strap of her bra, enveloping the van in silence again. Well, only momentarily.

You gaped at her, bewildered.

"Give me my phone back."

Alba gave her chest a little tap, a gesture to secure the phone, but by doing so, putting salt in the open wound, "Not until I trust you are strong enough to not let it get to you again."

"Who are you to make that decision?" You snapped, all sense and resolve gone. You had let your ex dictate your entire life, play and push you around like some puppet on a string. You weren't going to let anyone else tell you what to do or say. Not anymore.

"I'm your sister and I'm looking out for you, something I should've done months ago. Now, turn around and stop sulking. You look like an angry child throwing a fit because she has missed her nap. Venga-" Alba spoke with an air of finality, waving you off and not crumbling under the deathly glare you directed her way.

Humiliation was the feeling that washed over you when your eyes finally went around the van. No one met your eyes. They probably tried their hardest to disappear or pretend they weren't breaching what obviously should've been a very private conversation.

Misa quickly looked at the world behind the window when she noticed your eyes roaming across the back row to find hers. But you never succeeded.

Two arms slung around your waist from both sides of you, but you pushed them off, irked and irritated by the comfort Olga and Alexia were trying to give you. You'd never been good at switching your emotions on and off when things got heated like this. You were still mad. They needed to let you sit with your anger until it would fade out naturally and you could accept their well-meant comfort again.

'She's right, you know. We only want what's best for you,', Alexia wanted to say that and so much more when she watched your jaw tense and your bottom lip wobble, but knew not to bother you in your state of distress. Pushing you to let others help you with your emotions or having you communicate what you were feeling before you could calm down usually only made things worse. Your family had learned that the hard way. It had been a thing ever since you were little, and it had usually brought out temper outbursts whenever they'd gone against it. Whereas those would've been able to be dealt with with your favourite stuffed animal and snack, or by the mere sight of your father's fond smile, your sisters weren't quite sure how to comfort you this time around. Not when they'd thought that your girlfriend had taken the place of being your rock, the one to calm you down. If only they'd known she'd been the one to make you feel as little as she could, things would've been different.

You let the tears trickle down your cheeks, refusing to wipe them away and show everyone sitting in the rows behind you that you were crying. So what if it ruined your makeup? It wasn't like anyone in the club would see, or care, for that matter. They'd only care for your lips, and they were still coated in a freshly applied layer of gloss, puckered and ready to be kissed.

It was as if Alexia knew of your plans the second you all stepped out and walked down the stairs to the underground club. And, well, perhaps she did know after having watched a woman walk out of your apartment when she was going up to check on you. She'd caught on twice, although you figured the second time had been because Alexia'd had a hunch and her worried self had cared more for your wellbeing and her unanswered texts than the possibility of her getting scarred by what she could walk into. But when she realised the second woman was a different one than the first, she'd gotten mad and lectured you about all the things you didn't want to talk about. Who was she to tell you how to live your life? You were young, single and sexually frustrated and wanted to take advantage of that. You wanted to be worshipped and cared for, no matter how fleeting, and didn't care that there weren't real feelings of love involved. At least, that was what you tried to convince yourself.

When she'd seen you practically glued to some woman's lips and leave with her the last time you'd gone to this exact club, Alexia knew the only person you needed to be glued to that night, was her. It was already a miracle that she'd let you tag along, but, after careful consideration, she realised it was better to keep you where she could see you than to leave you in your apartment, inviting god knows who to keep you company. You knew she’d told Alba all about it, but were eternally grateful she hadn’t let your mother in on your recent activities, knowing full well the woman would barricade you in your childhood room and smother you with her motherly love until you were feeling okay again and not finding comfort with strangers.

The music was thunderous against the walls, and the purple hue was a recurring colour in the club. Alexia's hand found yours and she squeezed onto it for dear life when you pushed through the many bodies and toward your reserved booth. She purposefully trapped you among her friends, even pushing you to sit down when you'd tried to excuse yourself with some lame lie about needing to go to the bathroom already.

Alba scooted beside you, draping her legs playfully over your lap, but you knew it was a ploy to further trap you in your seat. You heard her snicker when you refused to look at her because you were clearly still mad at her. What annoyed you even further, was that you knew Alba couldn't care less. She'd done what she had set out to do, and that proud smile on her face said it all. She had always been insufferable when she got like that.

When you'd been younger, your mood swings had usually been diffused by your father, but after he had passed and you'd been in your pre-teens, Eli'd had her hands full trying to rope you in and get you and Alba out of each other's hair. Your temperaments had always been a little too similar to coerce peacefully. It had been a real challenge to keep your emotions in check, especially right after it had happened when you'd felt like a life raft floating on the open ocean. The feeling of loss had been just as difficult to navigate as the feeling of helplessness you'd felt. There wasn't anything you could have done for your father, besides comfort him the way he had comforted you for years. And there was nothing that could comfort you now that he was gone. Therapy had only helped to an extent, if you even let your therapists get close to solving you.

Alexia had already been spending all of her time on the pitch, so she'd, fortunately, missed most of those teenage fights. It was the only thing she never regretted missing out on. But without your father and with your mother out working to take care of her three young girls, you were left to listen to your older sisters, despite your clear loathing of it. And when Alexia was out as well, that meant you'd had to listen to Alba. And my, had she revelled with that power. It never helped that she often used that power to end discussions, even when she was clearly in the wrong. But if you didn't listen, you knew she would blab to your mother about something she wasn't supposed to know. Looking back at it now, you realised how your bond had grown. She was your big sister, had taken care of you when she'd been young and hurting herself and was effortlessly slipping into that role again right now. But, even if you knew she did it out of love, you couldn't help but grow a little irritated.

You pushed her legs off your lap, then rolled your eyes as she playfully groaned when she realised you weren't going to break.

"You're not going to ruin my night with that mood of yours, are you?"

You huffed and looked out over the dance floor. Your night was already ruined, that much was clear. You hadn't really been that opposed to tagging along and spending some time with your sisters and Alexia's friends, though you knew Alexia's laser eyes would make it damn near impossible for you to leave with someone. But now that you were here and couldn't even indulge, you were already counting down the time.

"Wipe that look off your face, it's not attractive."

"My resting bitch face has never given me any trouble here before."

Alba grumbled out an ew at the clear insinuation, and you counted that as a slight victory for your cause.

"Here-"

You watched the drink Alexia set in front of you, immediately making a face when you realised it was a simple Sprite. Even Alba gave her sister a questioning look.

Alexia, as if she'd already been expecting such a reaction from the two of you, gave in and handed you her alcoholic drink instead.

"Have mine then."

You eyed the rose-coloured drink, "What is it?"

"Pink gin with a red fruit tonic."

Alba scrunched her nose in disgust, "That's just an alcoholic lemonade."

"I swear, you have the taste buds of a child."

Alexia's mouth broke into a grin when you spoke, "Says the girl who drinks more Capri Sun than what's good for her."

Alba grabbed the pink gin and tonic and gave it a sip, face not contorting in nausea, as you'd half expected. She slapped her lips together, "Not terrible. Still not my thing."

With your sister distracted, you eyed the outline of your phone beneath her dress, but Alba already held up a finger to silence whatever plea was going to come out of your mouth.

"Don't even entertain the thought."

You threw your head back against the seat, "I want to go home. Can you call me a taxi?"

"And have her wait on your doorstep after you haven't answered her calls just now? Absolutely not." Alexia said, nicking her drink from Alba again, knowing neither of her sisters would drink it anyway.

"Then give me your phone, I'm bored."

Alexia sighed but obliged, watching as you opened her Candy Crush app, knowing you would likely close it again with a huff after seeing her unreasonably high level and knowing you weren't feeling that kind of mental stimuli right now.

And, just like she'd expected, you locked her phone with an exasperated groan.

"Want mine and find me some hot dates on Tinder?" Alba wiggled her brows, eyes brightening when she saw the intrigue on your face. Although maybe it had caught your interest for a more mischievous reason, she realised quickly.

"No-" She pulled her phone back before it could fall into your hand, "-be serious about it. No silly messages that'll make me look like a fool."

"Okay. Promise."

"And you know my type."

"Eiza González in Dusk Till Dawn?"

Alba slapped your head, "No, that's your type. Don't push your gay-awakening onto me." She grinned at the hurt look on your face, "And we surely aren't forgetting that your first girlfriend was a carbon copy of her, right?"

"Remind me why we ever broke up?" You complained, realising she was right.

Alba cackled, "Go reach out to her, I know there are still some feelings there. Second chances are a thing, you know?" She side-eyed you, realising her mistake of bringing up dating around you the second she saw the look on your face. She changed the subject to what she hoped would make you chat away enthusiastically, "Tell me again why you liked that character?"

"Oh, come on. Her in leather? On the motorcycle? With her fangs out? When her eyes change colour? Ordering men around? And that one scene where she danced with the snake?!"

"Clearly you're still infatuated," She poked at your ribs, but felt incredibly relieved to see the sudden moment of carefreeness appear on your face, "Honestly, I only watched it because you made me watch it with you, and it kept you quiet and distracted."

Now it was your hand that slapped her head.

She laughed, "Plus, it was fun watching you watch the show. I figured out you were a lady kisser way before you even knew it yourself."

You shrugged, "Well, Kisa was my Edward Cullen."

"Who?!"

"Kisa!? Santanico! The vampire queen?! Eiza's character," You rolled your eyes.

"Oh wow, forgive me for forgetting a character from a show we watched ten years ago- jesus."

Misa took a sip of her drink and watched while slowly but surely, the annoyance that had previously been etched into your face disappeared the longer you chatted with your sister. It seemed you started to warm up to her again— occasionally showing Alba her phone, which got paired with eyebrow wiggles and giggles. Misa hadn't realised how much she'd missed your laughter when it broke through the cacophony of the club chaos.

Upon hearing your laugh, Alba immediately snatched the phone from your hands, afraid you'd done exactly what you'd promised her not to. But when she saw the source of your amusement, her worry settled.

"Ten euros that she superliked you just for laughs," You almost instantly tapped the blue star on the profile of your childhood best friend, Abril, and cheered when the screen displayed a pop-up.

"Pay up!"

"No, I never agreed to anything," Alba playfully pulled at a loose strand of your hair, slightly yanking your head to the side. You didn't react to it, having been used to all the bullying as the youngest child.

You rolled your eyes, quickly typing a 'hey sexy lady' to Abril before your sister snatched the phone away and added a middlefinger emoji to the chat.

You perked up when Alba's phone vibrated, then typed away as Abril replied with a playful retort.

"Aw, shucks, she knows it is me."

"Duh, she knows I wouldn't ever superlike her," Alba sniggered.

Alba locked her phone and put it away, calling it quits for you on the Tinder matchmaking for the night. You sat back in your seat, eyes going over the many people in the club who seemed to be having way more fun than you.

To your right, Alexia's teammates scooted out of the booth. Your face lit up when Jenni turned to you, her hand outstretched and fingers wiggling as an invite.

Alexia and Alba shared a look, then nodded at each other, before turning to you.

"Go, have some fun," Alexia nodded, a soft smile on her face to tell you it was all right.

Alba's hand fell on your lower back and smoothed out your dress as you stood up and shimmied out of the booth. She gave your butt a slap, "But disappear on us and I'll tell mama you lost your virginity under her roof."

You turned around, cheeks flushed and a scowl on your face, "How- You guys weren't even home?!"

Alba shrugged, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, "Should've been more slick about it then."

"Don't-" Alexia pinched the bridge of her nose, "Don't use that word in that context, por favor."

"Well, you don't even know if it happened or not."

"Pretty sure you just confirmed it?"

You muttered profanities under your breath, "If you tell her, I'll tell her you dented her car when you tried to parallel park and not someone who drove into you at the grocery store."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Just behave, laelia." She puckered her lips and made kissing noises, laughing at the look on your face, clearly still trying to decipher how in the world she knew of what you thought had been your secret.

You shook it off and took the olive branch Jenni presented you with both hands and almost fled the scene with her and the others, mind set on getting yourself a proper drink first before any other plans could be made.

You waved the bartender over and leaned against the bar as you watched her mix your chosen poison when you felt a presence beside you. That was fast, you thought, but was surprised to see one of your sister's national teammates land on the vacant stool next to you.

"Hey," Misa nodded her head, then ordered a drink, eyes roaming across the many bottles on display and not meeting those of your own as you stared at her. Misa had been a mystery to you since the start. She hadn't been rude to you per se, just... closed off. And with you especially. It was something you'd sometimes encountered before, but those times, you could clearly see the interest and adoration in people's faces, a little too intimidated by your energy and beauty to approach. It felt different with Misa. As if she didn't even want to indulge in a glance your way. Had you done something off-putting in her presence that you weren't aware of? The distance she clearly maintained between the two of you, even after many a dinner sat next to one another, was odd. Still, you didn't want to give up on getting her out of her shell around you. You'd succeed. One day.

"Having fun?" You had to lean in to her to be heard over the music. Misa's smile was friendly, but as friendly as a stranger reciprocating a smile from across the street. Nothing too welcoming, nothing that notified she was one of your sister's closest friends and that you had actually shared two weeks basking in the sun together.

"Now I am," She motioned at the beer bottle that was set in front of her, "-you?"

The bartender slid your drink over to you, topping it off with a straw and a pearly white smile, "Now I am." You smiled devilishly and reused her words, eyeing the woman who had made your drink a little longer than necessary when you slid over a ten euro bill.

"Salud!"

Misa clinked her bottle with your glass before you both took a sip. You turned around, back against the bar and fingers toying with the black straw as your eyes flitted across the dance floor.

Misa watched you, heart hammering against her chest faster than the music around her. She knew she was supposed to say something, knew that you were expecting her to. But how was she to think straight when you were right there, close enough to touch if she turned around in her stool, your perfume intoxicating her in all the right ways? Her eyes raked your body, watching how the fabric of your dress tugged around the curves of your breasts, hips and bottom, how your bare legs got her as hypnotised as those soft locks of yours she wanted to reach out and touch. She watched your fingers readjust the necklace on your chest, how they left droplets on your skin from the condensation of your drink. She couldn't help but stare as it trickled down your cleavage.

She froze when you suddenly turned around, head tilting as you watched her intently. She'd been caught staring at your breasts, and her face turned ten shades darker.

Your mouth moved but she couldn't comprehend the words in her state of panicked embarrassment. She could only watch the healthy blush that had appeared on your face since stepping into the stuffy club, how you looked at her from underneath your eyelashes as if you could see right through her. And, perhaps you could. Especially after she had just ogled your plunging neckline. The fear that thought came with shook Misa out of her stupor.

"Come again?" She leaned in, trying to blame the booming sound around you, head moving to the side so as to not come any closer to your breasts and betray her feelings even more.

"Wanna dance?"

Misa was thankful for the distorted purple lighting around her, for she was sure you would've caught her blushing right away.

"Um, I don't really dance. But thanks."

She did dance. Hell, she liked to dance. She'd wanted to get silly and let loose all the stress and pressure of the hard week. But dancing with you would only add to her nerves and stress and it would do nothing to help her crush on you, which was multiplying every second she spent near you. Even after weeks or months of not seeing you, just the slightest tease of a glance at you or mention of your existence could reawaken her feelings.

Misa saw your face fall momentarily, but you seemed to shake it off.

"Can you watch my drink while I'm gone? If you want to go back to the booth, it's okay, but if you do, just bring my drink along because I did not spend nine euros for five sips, only for it to go to waste." You laughed heartedly, and Misa swore she could fly. She'd always basked in your sweet and light energy, but whenever it was directed to her, even for a split second, Misa found herself on another planet entirely. A very pink one with butterflies flitting all over.

"Sure," She grinned, albeit with a kind of timidness that was new to her.

"And don't you dare take a sip, because I'll know if you do." You pointed a finger at her, eyes narrowed but lips curved into a ludic smile. Her eyes fell on your lips, then quickly glanced at your eyes, realising she shouldn't get caught staring at your breasts and lips all within the same minute.

Tud, tud, tud, tud, tud, tud-

Misa felt her fastening heartbeat drum in her ears and ribcage as she swallowed and shook her head, a breathy chuckle getting lost in the noise of the club. You turned around, threw your hair over your shoulder and disappeared into the crowd as a new song started to play.

Misa had stayed there for ten minutes, sipping her beer occasionally while fiercely guarding your drink with her hand, shielding it whenever anyone walked by. When she'd finished her drink, she'd had a brief moment of bravery and had considered finding you in the dancing crowd after all. She could do it. There was nothing wrong with dancing with friends during a night out, especially not after drinks had been involved, albeit only one or two. Her beer had barely gotten her tipsy, she needed more of that, but she wanted to keep her wits about her if she were to interact with you. One misplaced word or longing look and she would be discovered. Remaining undetected had proven a difficult task even while sober. Still, she knew that she could dance beside you, especially if the others were with you. But that daydream had popped when your maroon dress appeared in her peripheral.

You had closed your eyes, giving in to the music and letting your hands glide sensually over your curves. You oozed self-assuredness, elegance and sexiness, displaying how truly comfortable you were in your own skin. You could've gotten lost in the music and was nearly at the point of forgetting where you were when you felt someone behind you.

Misa watched as your body moved with a fluid, sensual kind of grace that had her captivated, but she got distracted by the tall and tanned woman approaching you. She had wavy black hair and looked like some damned ancient goddess with her height and poise. She was tightly pressed against your back, her hands on your hips as you both danced in sync with the rhythm of the music. Misa watched in horror as one of the woman's hands glided from your hip to your stomach, then further upwards until she pulled your chin to the side so she could look at you. As soon as she leaned in, you didn't push her off like Misa had expected you to, but you turned around and snaked your arms around her neck, pushing your hips flush against her.

Misa turned away when your hand grabbed a fistful of those black locks and you moved in the hot and heavy pace of your feverish makeout. She stood there, frozen, your drink in her hand and her heart crumbling as fast as her confidence.

Back to the booth it was, it seemed. She pushed herself off the stool, taking one last glance to see if you'd seen reason and pushed the woman off after all, but sighed and retreated. All her bravery and hope had vanished and she felt pathetic for ever thinking of dancing with you like some foolish teenage girl dancing with her crush at her senior year's school prom. The reference instantly reminded her that all it would and could ever be, was a crush. A silly, pitiful crush.

"What's happened?" Patri asked as soon as she saw how faraway in her thoughts Misa seemed.

"Nothing?" Misa pushed out a chuckle, carefully setting down the drink she'd guarded for the past fifteen minutes, in vain.

"Fucking hell-" Sounded, and everyone looked at Alexia, whose eyes were glaring at something happening in the background. Going by the tone and rigidness in your sister's posture, Misa could take a good guess what it was about.

You had lost yourself in the heady feeling of growing desire with the stranger in your arms. And if Misa had felt uneasy, she could only guess the level of discomfort Alexia was in seeing her littlest sister engaging in such... activities.

"Ale-" Olga quickly pulled her girlfriend back down.

"I can't stand this self-destructing behaviour any longer. I knew this would happen if we'd take her. It's painful to watch."

"She's... she's just kissing, though?" Mariona wondered, not seeing the problem in a young and single woman having some fun and letting go of her inhibitions for the night.

Laia blew out a breath, "More like getting her face eaten off."

"I thought she was with Jenni and the others?!" Alexia grumbled, turning her head to not have to see her little sister practically dry-humping a stranger, "Where's Alba?"

"Bathroom."

Patri had barely even answered when they watched the situation unfold before them. Alba had walked out of the bathroom, clearly having been met with the same distasteful display right in front of her and not going to tolerate whatever bullshit coping mechanism this was.

"Oh, no."

You felt a set of arms pull at your waist from behind, tearing you from the stranger's grasp. A split second later, you went from being glued to one torso to the other, but as soon as you heard her voice, you knew you were in deep trouble.

"We're going home." Alba growled.

With wide eyes from both shock and the desire still lingering somewhere within you, you watched as the woman you'd been dancing with took a step towards your sister, clearly wanting to intimidate her after the stunt she'd just pulled with you. She couldn't have a clue who Alba was. In her eyes, your sister was just another woman who'd had a little too much to drink and had crossed a line and made you uncomfortable. She glared at your sister, and though she was two heads taller than Alba, the tiny spitfire of your sister beside you wasn't impressed.

"Hands off her." The woman spoke, eyes softening as she looked at you, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine-" You spat through gritted teeth as you harshly pulled yourself out of Alba's grip, sending her a nasty glare.

"Should we go?" She wondered, and you nodded. The woman's hand found yours, clearly still pent up with the same carnal craving swirling through her body, and wanting you to relieve her of it. But as she went to pull you out of the crowd, you were turned around.

Alba pushed your phone against your chest, eyes spitting fire but lip trembling as she realised she'd clearly lost any and all control over you. Especially at a time when she so desperately wanted to be there and guide you through your heartbreak. In a time when you needed her to stop you from making mistakes. Whatever you had been doing lately— trying to find solace in strangers to prove you weren't as unlovable as your ex had made you feel, to fill the emptiness, to feel longed after and cared for, even if the care had only sexual undertones. To get your frustrations out, then cry yourself to sleep afterwards and not leave your bed unless you had to go to work. It pained her how she was helpless. She couldn't believe how you didn't realise that putting a plaster on a gaping wound was laughable at best, but here you were, planting another plaster on the open wound of your heart, while letting the blood seep through your fingers.

When she looked at you, she knew she'd lost you entirely.

"Here, in case you wound up in some ditch and need us to get you." She spat, unable to mask her true feelings and be gentle towards you, and not let her own pain translate into fury. She had half hoped the interaction would shake some sense into you, but she scoffed and watched as you left.

Alba returned to the booth, immediately having to justify herself when Alexia was in her face, asking why the hell she would let you go so easily.

"Honestly, Ale, what's the use in fighting any longer? At this point I'm just waiting for her to smack face first into the ground to come to her senses, since we've clearly not gotten anywhere with our kind words and gentle coaxing." Alba sat down, head in her hands as she let out a big breath.

"You're letting her go home with some stranger and that doesn't worry you?!"

Alba looked up from her hands and shrugged, no energy left to fight it, "She's an adult. If she thinks she can handle it, then she'll have to handle it. She needs to make mistakes to learn from them." Alba shot back, "And it's not like she'll get pregnant. The only thing you'll have to worry about is her catching some STD, and even that won't be your problem."

Alexia opened her mouth, waving her hands around, feeling incredulous while trying to come up with words. She knew that the longer she waited, you would be one step closer to getting in some cab and starting her downward spiral of worries until you'd text her again, letting her know you were alive.

"I told myself that if she would try to leave with someone, I'd follow her out. She's staying here, and that's final." Alexia darted through the crowd, mind set, ignoring the pleas to stay put. She wasn't going to sit idle and let something happen to you again when she was right there and able to do something about it this time.

"God, she's going to embarrass her, isn't she?" Patri winced, already playing out the scene in her head of Alexia pulling you out of your fling's arms mid-kiss, much like Alba had done just now.

"Y/N's made her bed. Now she must lie in it."

Misa glanced at Alba, who seemed so calm and wise in comparison to merely two minutes ago on the dancefloor. It was as if a switch had been flicked off inside of your sister, as if she had suddenly stopped caring. But Misa knew that could never be it, and she was proven right when Alba's chin wobbled, betraying her true feelings.

When Alexia returned ten minutes later, sporting the same defeated look, she knew your sister had failed in her attempt to stop you.

"I can't find her anywhere. She's gone." She leaned into Olga, accepting the comfort of her arms, "Can I have my phone? I want to text her to stay safe. She needs to know she can call me if something's wrong."

Olga gave her girlfriend a pained smile but grabbed Alexia's phone out of her bag nonetheless.

It hurt so much more to have her phone open in the Candy Crush app, where you'd locked it, the over-the-top pink theme contrasting with her gloomy mood.

Olga perched her chin atop Alexia's shoulder and watched her type a message your way, "We'll be here when she needs us, Ale. That's all we can-"

Alexia jumped in her seat when someone harshly plopped down beside her. Her eyes widened when she witnessed your red-rimmed eyes and quivering chin. You knew how you looked and that, along with your actions from earlier, which you knew they'd all seen, filled you with shame. You didn't dare to look at who else was sitting in the booth to find out who had seen your pitiful display. You didn't even want to think how much of a fool you'd made yourself to be, and how differently they would surely start seeing you now.

"I'm sorry." You croaked out through your old tears, feeling the new ones burn in your eyes.

"Y/N! What the-" Alba perked up in her seat, all anger gone as she reached her arm across the table to get closer to you, hold onto your arm, fingers, your hand, hell- she didn't care. Her hand found yours and she winced at how hard you squeezed.

"Are you okay?!" Alexia asked, the boulder only half lifting off her chest with you beside her. Seeing how distraught you were didn't help. And seeing how hard you were biting into your bottom lip to hide how you were really feeling, hurt her even more.

They all looked at you, waiting for an answer, and once more Misa was made feeling like an intruder by your sudden appearance.

After some long seconds of trying to gain control over the wobble in your throat, you croaked out,

"Her name was Carmen."

Your shoulders shook with the sobs you tried to gently leave your mouth, but you failed massively at hiding them. Feeling looked at, you dropped Alba's hand and hid your face in your hands, muffling the sounds and the sight to any onlooker.

Your sisters' faces fell, knowing the significance of that name and why it had hurt to meet a stranger with the same one. Alexia's strong arm pulled you into her embrace, and it tore at her heart when she felt you push against her hold, not wanting to truly accept her comfort, as if you didn't feel deserving of it after having worried her and not listened to her. She knew it was how you could get- distant and wanting to solve your problems by yourself- but it didn't hurt any less knowing that you didn't want to let go of your sorrows and let your oldest sister hold onto them for you, even if only for a little while.

Realising that the feeling you'd wanted to escape had been put there by a woman with the same name, had tipped you over the edge. As soon as the stranger had asked you your name and had whispered hers in your ear in return, you'd crumbled, pushing yourself out of her arms.

Alba got up and crouched beside the seat, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your leg.

"Laelia, hey- look at me."

You heard Alexia coax, but only pushed your hands further against your face to the brim of suffocating yourself, if your sobs weren't already doing so. The makeup of your eyes was probably caked up in a messy mix right now, but you couldn't care less.

Alba gave a thankful smile to the girls in the booth who got up to excuse themselves, one by one. Alexia gently pried your hands off your face and dapped at your eyes with a napkin.

Your eyes then fell on the drink you'd ordered earlier that night, and you quickly took a few sips. Misa's throat tightened as your eyes locked across the booth. It was as if the drink had made you think of her... had made you look for her. She'd take it. She'd take any thought of her that would pop into your mind, even hoping it would bring you some much-needed distraction in your current state. Misa hated how she was making this situation about her crush on you again, and instantly looked away, waiting for her turn to slide out off the circular bench to give the three sisters some space.

You slurped every last drop out of your glass with the straw, then stood up, resolutely. Your sisters already opened their mouth in protest, but you waved off their worries.

"I need some fresh air. I promise I won't leave. I just- I need to get away from all this noise." You motioned around you but were talking about the chaos in your mind that screamed at you to be heard over the music.

Alexia stood up, but you pushed her back in her seat, not unkindly.

"I want to be alone, Ale."

"Like hell-"

"I don't think you should be alone right now."

But you didn't listen to your sisters' pleas and turned on your heel before they could pull you back.

"She's pushing us out again."

"She'll come back to you when she's ready," Olga was the voice of reason, calming the two down but immediately worrying them again as she added, "But I don't like leaving her alone any more than you two do."

"She's going to get mad again if she sees one of us, though."

Then, that bravery that had been building up all night finally reached its peak when Misa blurted out, "I'm okay with keeping an eye on her, just to make sure nothing happens, you know?"

"Would you do that?" Alba piped up, eyes hopeful and almost begging.

"Yeah," Misa nodded, dead serious, eyes flicking from your disappearing form to your sisters, not wanting to lose you in the crowd.

"Please, if you could?"

"Of course," She squeezed Alexia's arm on her way out of the booth, eyes already on the neon green exit sign high above the dancing crowd.

Outside, people were saying goodbye and calling it a night or having a smoke around you, but you had drowned them out the second you'd sat down on the cold curb. It reeked of spilt beer, cigarettes and urine, and it ripped off your rose-coloured glasses right away. You tugged at your dress, wanting it to cover more of your legs in the chilly night air, but realising you'd have to wrap your arms around yourself to warm you up.

Little, weak and vulnerable — three words that had started to co-exist in your mind whenever you thought of yourself... but that was how you felt. It was the harsh reality, it was who you were, who you'd always been, and you knew your ex had been right when she'd jabbed those words at you time and time again. If you weren't little or weak or vulnerable, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, chest ready to heave with the sobs wanting to come out after having met a stranger with the same fucking name. It was so pathetic, it made you chuckle bitterly.

It had felt like the universe's way of stopping you from making yet another questionable decision, and perhaps, you were glad it had stopped you. You knew you would have felt disgusted with your actions within twelve hours anyway, despite how good it would feel in the moment. However, that also meant you were left with the impending knowledge that you had to deal with your feelings in another way tonight. But how, you didn't know. You weren't good with your feelings. With letting someone in, again, to let them take half of your burden. You knew you'd never trust someone like that ever again. Any situationship or relationship you would have going forward would only ever reach a superficial level until you'd close the prison cell of your heart when they would get too close. You puffed out a breath before breaking down into a shuddering sob. Your back hunched over, and you put your face in your hands.

Misa watched from near the entrance, leaning against the brick wall and playing with a begonia she'd plucked out of one of the decorative flower planters next to her. It was a painful sight to see the girl who had once brightened up her days looking so miserable, and it was even more painful knowing that there was nothing she could do to help. Well, except for keeping an eye out right now, that was. She realised that she had perhaps deliberately decided to turn a blind eye to your agony before, basking in the small blurts of happiness she could see on your face and using them for her own gain, not looking further and realising how scarce those moments were for you nowadays.

You jumped in your seat when a duo of overly drunk boys started to bellow as they were trying to hail a cab. They cursed loudly when another group got to it before them, and sat down on the curb a few metres away from you. One of the boys's eyes wandered across the street, falling onto your shaken form.

"Hey!" He motioned you to come over, and you immediately tore your eyes away from them, blankly staring out into the street.

"Hey, you-" He whistled, and your chest swelled with anger. You gave him the nastiest look you could muster but bristled when they only seemed to snicker at your teary fury. You knew you looked horrible and pathetic, little and weak and vulnerable, but you didn't need to get reminded of that by some fresh-out-of-high-school boys.

You saw one of the boys stand up and you were ready to either scream bloody murder or tear him a new one, but furrowed your brows when they seemed to rethink their decision to approach. At the same time, you saw a shadow loom over you.

Looking up, you watched as Misa stood there, giving them the deathliest glare you'd ever seen. You knew she was a tough one on the field, knew she could be reserved around people she didn't know, you included, but you hadn't thought she'd had it in her to look so menacingly fierce off the pitch. And for what? To, out of all people, save you like some knight in shining armour?

The boys lost their interest in you when a cab stopped in front of them, but Misa hovered close, a safe distance away from you as she contemplated what to do now. She watched as you pulled your knees up to your chest and rested your chin against them. A chill breeze wafted through the street, blowing through the stray hairs that weren't stuck to your tear-stained face. Your refusal to acknowledge her presence after having noticed her, should have made her back off as fast as she'd approached the second she'd smelt trouble, but instead, she stood glued to the pavement. She played with her fingers, contemplating what to do and outweighing every scenario and its consequences. Then, after some agonising moments in thought, she decided it was better to stick with you now, showing you weren't alone and admit to the reason behind her presence, knowing you deserved honesty.

"We didn't want you to be out here by yourself."

You looked up, no trace of your beautiful radiating self to be seen, "I said I wanted to be alone," You sniffled and wiped at your puffy nose, "But thank you." You took a shaky breath, "Lord knows I would have ripped their heads off hadn't you come."

Misa wanted to smile at you still bringing lightheartedness to the conversation in an attempt to either comfort yourself or distract Misa from your true state, but she simply couldn't. Not when you were like this. Deciding she had broken the ice and had committed to it now anyway, she mustered up the last bit of courage and sat down beside you, still a reasonable amount of respectful distance keeping you apart. A little too much distance, for that matter.

"I wouldn't have looked at you differently if you had." She spoke gently, hoping you caught the underlying message in her words— just like she wasn't looking at you any differently now. You were still the most gorgeous girl she'd ever seen and you would still be able to send her insides to mush with one giggle or look.

She twirled the tiny begonia in her fingers. You watched her, looking at her fingers and the flower as a new set of silent tears coated your cheeks. Your eyes widened when, out of the blue, Misa's hand pried a lock of hair off your wet cheeks and placed it behind your ear before gently tucking the tiny flower behind it. She looked at you, truly looked at you, as if she was reading your face to sense what you were feeling. Then she smiled, not out of pity, but out of adoration, as if she could see through the tears and caked makeup and trouble and see the carefree girl you'd always been.

The entire gesture was so tender, something you hadn't been exposed to in a long while, that sobs then wracked your body once more. You didn't even care that your sister's friend was seeing this and would likely pass this along to her, too. You let the tears fall, the energy to keep them in no longer present. You hoped that the girl who'd been so reserved and indifferent around you before, wouldn't bat an eye now either.

Immediately, Misa felt horrified, afraid she'd crossed a boundary that had set off the tears. Her panic intensified when she had no clue what to do, so she figured not to think about it too much and go with her instinct. She put an arm around your shaking form and, when you burrowed into her chest, she felt herself float, despite the wet patch of tears forming on her shoulder and keeping her very much in the moment. Then she blinked, realising once more she was putting her crush over your well-being. Her grip around you tightened and the unbeatable sensation of fierce protection set her face in determination. She realised then that she should've had the balls to do this sooner, preferably when she'd overheard that phonecall all those months ago. You had deserved to be comforted then, too, to feel seen and understood, not alone, but Misa had been too much of a coward and had worried about her secret crush coming out that she'd held back.

"It's... it's okay." She whispered into the air, knowing you could hear her nonetheless with you so closely pressed to her, "You don't have to pretend you're fine."

You clutched at her shirt with your fist, pulling it closer to you, hating how Misa still seemed set to keep a distance between you and didn't let you bury yourself into her chest entirely. You'd never realised the woman had apparently been able to read you so well in her quietness around you, that she knew exactly what you were feeling. Still waters run deep, and she'd surprised you by proving that. It drew out the air of mystery she already had around her, but you felt afraid of what else she'd noticed that you thought no one had. That, along with the realisation of the situation you were in, filled you with shame. You pulled back and wiped at your nose. Your eyes widened in horror when you saw the glittered patch of your eyeshadow now on Misa's t-shirt. Furiously, you wiped at the spot.

Misa couldn't help but take you in, with your hair dishevelled, the flower now almost falling out of it, your cheeks flushed and wet, your eyes bloodshot and your nose stuffy as you wiped at it every few seconds. Pained, tortured and exhausted by it all and still, you were the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen.

She didn't know half of what had went down with you, and with your ex, seeing as your breakup seemed to be the root of your pain. She'd heard enough during the phonecall, though— your quick and panicked muttered apologies, your fear and your weariness. She didn't need to know the rest to still be unable to grapple with why on earth someone could hurt you as much as your ex had. Her eyes turned damp, and it was a surprise when she felt the tears prickle. She wasn't an emotional person, she never cried, except for after a major and critical defeat on the pitch or if she got too angry about things that really mattered. Perhaps this was just such a moment. She became paralysed at the reveal.

Your voice was small, your shoulders hunched and your gaze to your lap as you softly mumbled out an apology. Misa's heart broke then and there, realising you'd been in that position more often than necessary. How often had you resorted to taking the blame to diffuse the situation and survive another day without a fight?

She watched as you slid away from her and tried to keep her tone light, veiling the sting of her heart, "For what? One wash and it's gone."

As if being stung by a bee, you seemed to realise what you were doing. You were letting your walls down to one of Alexia's friends, you were letting someone see you cry, admitting how little, weak and vulnerable you were indeed. You were letting someone take a peak behind the curtain of the confident and put-together woman you usually portrayed to be. You harshly wiped at your face, ruffled your hair and stood up to smooth down your dress.

Flee, flee, flee, flee, flee.

"Tell Ale and Alba that I got a taxi back home."

Misa followed your example and stood up, holding you back by your elbow, gently and with care.

"Let them take you home. Please."

You narrowed your eyes at her, having a hunch that the urgency in her voice didn't just stem from her worry for you, but at the fear of facing your sisters if she let you. It shouldn't have made you feel the way it did, to realise that Misa had only comforted you out of courtesy to your sisters, and not because she wanted to be the one to wrap you in her arms. Feeling a little defensive, you replied a bit too harshly, "I'm not going back in there."

"You don't have to. Let me text them. I'll wait here with you."

You debated it for a while, you truly did, but no. You couldn't step even one foot back into that nightmare of a place. With warm and sweaty bodies brushing against you, the mix of a dozen colognes and eau de perfumes, and the booming sound slapping you across your face. You didn't want this disaster of a night to be drawn out even longer than necessary. You'd learned your lesson in there, and you weren't going to go back in to come to terms with it. Not tonight, anyway.

"No, I'm sorry."

Your heels clicked as you walked the cobblestone street to the nearest taxi. Misa watched, realising she'd fucked up even the simple task of keeping you company. If only she hadn't wrapped you in her arms, maybe you would've waited it out with her. She had a hunch her sudden affection had been the tipping point for your need to run. Her eyes fell to the curb, where the crumpled begonia now lay forgotten. Without another thought, she pulled her wallet from her back pocket and tucked the little flower in between a couple of ten euro bills. Then, she couldn't help but let dread fill her stomach. She'd have to get back in there and tell your sisters what had happened.

Surprisingly, they hadn't taken the news as bad as Misa had expected. She figured it was the fact that Misa had seen you get in the taxi and knowing that no sane person, not even an insane one, your ex, would be waiting on your doorstep at one in the morning. The fact that you'd shared your live location with your sisters and they'd watched the dot move through the city until it arrived at your place, had aided as well.

Plus, as Alexia had added with awareness, "We should've gone after her ourselves. You couldn't know how stubborn she really was."

But Misa'd had a hunch after all the time she'd spent adoring you. It was one of the things she admired. You had a will and mind of your own, not an opinion easily curated by the world around you. You knew what you liked and wanted.

The sisters, including Olga, had decided to call it a night then and there, calling a taxi and driving straight to your apartment, just to make sure. Misa, not really feeling up for any more pretend-partying after all that had happened, had decided to leave as well after trying to stick around for another half hour to not be an ass when Jenni had bought her a new drink.

She hoped that you were safely tucked in your bed right now, ready to let sleep wash away your sorrows, even if it was only for the night.

Much later, she'd find out how wrong she'd really been.

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© 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆.🖤