#part two: i have pliars and towels and painkillers and a lot of conviction in both my diy skills and my caring for my own wounds skills
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#personal#soo ive discovered a giant hole in my back tooth because medicare doesnt cover dental except for children#and so i havent been since i was 21 and i try to maintain tooth health at home but im not very good at it#due to being raised wrong about it and also autistic and i cant afford even a basic clean and checkup#which is what i was actually looking in my mouth and deciding i need which would be about 300 bucks already#and now im scared to eat anything because i definitely cant afford to make this worse 🙃#genuinely so much bad shit has happened and every time its like. ok ill pick myself up cause no one else will and dust off and things#will be fine in the end they always are and my heart believes this will be fine too but i dont remember the last time i was#this genuinely legitimately scared. im so scared and i dont know what to do#i know the next steps is to call dentists in my area tomorrow and check if they do medicare but i feel i already know the answer#idk if its better to have looked or to not and be able to live my life but its food time and i cant make myself eat#im scared to make it worse im scared of the pain that might cause im scared of the upward 2k damage costs if it gets worse#fuck#fucking fuck#okok panick attack over i have a two step plan: part one call around tomorrow and see if anyone takes medicare#part two: i have pliars and towels and painkillers and a lot of conviction in both my diy skills and my caring for my own wounds skills#in the mean time just be more dilligent to brush immediately after eating and ill grab mouthwash too as soon as i can as im currently out#i have a family friend whos a vet maybe theyve ripped out a rotted dogs tooth or two before and could help. but ill cross that bridge#when i get to it fir neow i should check with real dentists before making assumptions. and eat because ive been crying and shaking#and was already hungry and now am exhausted. from the aforementioned shaking and crying and need to eat even more#in all cases. dentist on medicare being the best obviously but in all cases im gonna ask to keep my tooth. unless i do it i dont need to ask#but i forgot when i had my wisdoms out a a few years ago. holy fuck that was like a decade ago actually wtf#ima make a necklace out of it since its just the one and not a pair#and just like that things will be fine. as expected as they always are once the panick mode is done im ok i have a plan and im good
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