#part of me thinks this could be the opening to a Valicer take on the 'Somebody I Used To Know' idea

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer OT3 Week, Day Three: Childhood Friends

Day Three of @ot3-week's OT3 Week, and we're up to a cute prompt -- "Childhood friends!" So naturally I couldn't resist writing the trio hanging out together as kids. :) This is supposed to be a Victorian!AU, though I suspect it might feel a little bit more modern than that...the important thing is, there's a grand old party happening in the halls of Christchurch at Oxford, and Smiler and Alice have already found each other and decided to sequester themselves away from all these boring adults in their own private table fort. But tummies have started growling, and so Smiler is venturing out to get snacks...

--

“I’m gonna get more snacks!”

“All right – make sure to grab some of Mama’s Welsh rarebit!” Alice said, arranging the cards into neat piles. “Then when you come back we can start building our castle.”

“Definitely,” Smiler said, shooting her a grin. They grabbed the edge of the tablecloth and lifted it – then, seeing no adults had eyes on them, scrambled out from under the banquet table that they and Alice had claimed as their personal hidey-hole. And I thought this party was going to be boring, they thought, scurrying toward the table where the Welsh rarebit sat, along with a few other cheese-based dishes the various attendees were nibbling on. Adults never want to have any fun when they get together – it’s just talk talk talk about boring stuff. Especially Father, going on about “social compliance” and all that...it’s a good thing that Alice is here! I can’t wait to hear another story about Wonderland – it sounds amazing! And I bet that, without the adults interrupting us, we can build a castle using all of the –

“Now, I don’t want you embarrassing me at this party, Victor, do you understand?”

Smiler stopped, turning toward the entrance. Standing there, having their coats taken by the coat-taking-man, was a hunched-over skinny man with a large mustache, leaning on a cane; a very plump woman in the fanciest dress Smiler had ever seen, fanning herself like it was the middle of summer; and a little boy, about Smiler’s age, wearing a suit with shorts and staring at his feet while the woman – presumably his mother – went on and on about how the Liddells were Very Important People and how they had to make a Good First Impression and how Victor was to Stay Quiet and Look Respectable, like the boys in magazines. The boy – Victor – was nodding along to his mother’s litany, trying to stand up straight and do as asked, but the look on his face...

“Now, Marmaduke, I understand that you’re a little – confused, at this age. But the simple fact of the matter is that you can’t just decide that you’re not a boy. It’s simply not done. Where would society be if people just started declaring themselves not one thing or the other? You have to learn how to be socially compliant. True happiness comes from obeying your elders – and you want to be happy, don’t you?”

Smiler frowned as the woman turned away from Victor, leaving him to tug at his tie as she swanned off to chat about boring things with the other adults. It seemed like, with a mother like that, Victor was about to have about as bad a time at this party as they’d feared they would have. And that was a really bad time indeed.

Well, good thing I’m here, then, Smiler thought to themselves, then marched up to Victor, putting on their best smile and sticking out their hand. “Hullo! I’m Smiler!”

Victor nearly started right out of his skin – maybe they should have been a little bit quieter. He stared at them a moment, glancing from their face to their hand and back, then hesitantly took it. “Uh – I’m – I’m – V-Victor,” he stammered, clearly out of his depth. Maybe people didn’t talk to him much? That would be sad if so. “Your name is – Smiler?”

“Well, it’s what I call myself,” Smiler told him, pumping his arm. “My real name’s awful. But Victor’s a nice name! Do you want to play with us?”

“Us?” Victor repeated, blinking.

“Me and Alice!” Smiler pointed at their table, where Alice was peeping out, clearly wondering why snacks were taking so long. They waved to her and pointed to Victor – she glanced over, then nodded and waved back. “She’s really nice, and she tells great stories,” Smiler informed Victor, grinning. “And she’s got cards – we’re gonna try and build a castle! Do you like castles?”

“Uh – yes?” Victor said, as if he wasn’t sure of his own opinions. “I’ve n-never made a card one b-before, though.” He dropped his gaze, playing with his tie again. “I’m k-kind of clumsy.”

“That’s all right – we can show you how to do it!” Smiler promised, taking his hand so he didn’t accidentally strangle himself. “Come on – we’ll get snacks, then we can go and play!”

“I – um...” Victor’s gaze went to his mother, chatting with some other adult Smiler didn’t know and didn’t care about. “I dunno...”

“Aw, come on,” Smiler wheedled, tugging his arm. “It’ll be fun! Don’t you wanna have fun? Be happy? Like, real happy, not grown-up happy?”

“Happy...” Victor looked at his mother a moment more, then over at Alice, patiently waiting for them to decide what they were doing. Then his mouth formed a determined line, and he nodded at Smiler. “Yes. Let’s go make castles.”

Smiler beamed. One happiness problem – solved! Take that, Father. “Great! But, first, we gotta get some of that rarebit – and I think there’s some cake too...”

[montaguevin]

Second Meetings | Valice

WHO: Vin Montague & Alice Capulet

WHEN: Wednesday Evening/Early Thursday Morning. 3/28

WHERE: Lavinia & Diner Downtown

SUMMARY: Generally getting to know each other with an appearance by some late night breakfast foods.

WARNING(s): Just a long ass read. Done in Chatzy.

Alice was almost done with her shift for the night and she was looking forward to just going home and not having to serve the more...sleazy clientele that showed up the later the night got. At least it wasn't all that busy tonight. The down time let her think. She thought about Nox and how he was still in prison....how he hadn't made any attempts at all to even bother contacting her, to even let her know he was still alive. And then she thought about the stranger from last week...bleeding and brooding and yet letting her help him without a fight. Vin. That was all she had to go on. She didn't know his last name, a number, didn't even know if if he even lived in the city. She thought about the single rose that had cropped up at the nurse's station then a few days later with no name on it, and that was the only thing she had to go on. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the barstool in front of her scraping against the floor and she shook her head a bit, clearing the thoughts away as she adjusted herself, not looking up just yet- she could worry about it all later. For now.. "Hi, what can I get you?"

Vin isn't entirely sure why he's in the bar. It's a distance from his usual dive, the beer is probably from the same kegs, though he'd found out through his sources a little about the girl infront of him. Her name was Alice, she was a Med Student, unsurprisingly he thinks to himself and she worked at a bar. And for some reason, he's at said bar. She's distracted, and he decides to wait until she's more focused and replying with a simple "pint of ale, thanks" drumming his fingers slightly on the bar waiting for her to look up.

Alice recognized the voice before she even looked up, watching his fingers for a moment (at least they're not as bloodied and broken as the last time she saw them) before finally picking her head up. She couldn't completely hide her surprise even if she tried. She was just convincing herself that she'd never seen him again. And now.... "You're.." she trailed off, just looking at him for a moment; he didn't look as rough as last time, more cleaned up, more composed, less dangerous. She swallowed, snapping out of it again before nodding, "Right--sure. Coming right up." She was caught off guard by her heart beating a bit quicker than usual as she turned from him and went to the taps, perfectly pouring one out and then coming back over to him. "I.." She felt a bit ridiculous...everything she wanted to say sounded a bit ridiculous, so instead she said the easiest thing she could, "You're looking better."

Vin watches Alice carefully, her emotions flitting all over her face as she sorts out her thoughts with a slight stutter. A side of his mouth raises slightly, in the closest thing she'll get to a smile. "...I should hope so.. I try not to go out and about in public looking like that", he takes a swig from his glass, fingers tracing in the condensation of the chilled glass. "... Do you pick strangers up and tend to their wounds often?"

Alice hummed softly, the silence giving her a moment to just look him over again. It was so...surreal, seeing him here in her bar, like the other night never even happened. Until he spoke again and she huffed, rolling her eyes slightly, "There's a first time for everything." She replied back, biting her lip, "I wasn't about to leave you to bleed out on the sidewalk." She added, voice quieting a bit before she asked the main question at the front of her thoughts, "What're you doing here?"

Vin has a poker face that could fool almost anyone and lies smoothly through his teeth, "Had a meeting this side of town, decided I wanted a drink before heading home" .. And part of it is true. He had a meeting, on this side of town. But the entering of this bar was entirely intentional. Perhaps he wasn't sure if she was real, that she wasn't some figment of his imagination, which in all honesty wouldn't have been the first time that happened. He looks down at his watch before asking 'So when's closing time?'

Alice rose a brow ever so slightly at him; it sounded genuine enough, but still. There was another bar a block away. And one more a few more blocks down. There were plenty he could've gone to. And yet. "Whatever you say." Her reply giving away that she didn't fully believe him, but she'd let it go for now. At the question she looked over at the clock behind the bar, seeing it was after midnight already. "Tonight's at one. So you still have more time for another drink or two before they're kicking you out, don't worry."

Vin isn't surprised that she's caught onto his bullshit, but he hides the quirk of his lip behind his glass, draining it silently. He checks his own watch before giving a nod "One more, same as before" before turning to another bar goer next to him, who is all but leering at Alice, his eyes narrowing down in a look that clearly screams 'piss off' , waiting for the Dominant in question to walk off.

Alice is still in a somewhat state of surprise that he's even here- before she got the Rose she was starting to wonder if it'd all even happened, that maybe it was just some surreal dream and an indicator that she was ignoring her submissive needs again and it was messing with her head. But no, it had all happened and here he was in front of her, real as ever. She focused when he spoke again, humming softly "Yes Sir." The title fell off her tongue on instinct, easily following even a basic order and she'd turned around in time to miss the look Vin gave the other man sitting there, missed the way the other man glared towards Vin for just a moment before backing off with a huff, his stool scraping loudly against the floor as he moved to stand, downing the rest of his drink at one shot before leaving, not even bothering to leave Alice a tip which she noticed as she turned back with Vin's next glass.

Vin: smiles slightly as she brings back the drink, murmuring a low 'good girl' , the title falling off his tongue before he can stop it, before asking "So how do you get home? I didn't think buses ran this late?"

Alice may have missed the exchange between the two Doms, but she didn't miss the low praise he gave her as she brought him another drink, and she definitely didn't miss the way it sent a little shiver down her spine. She shook her head at the question though, glancing down for a moment, "I um..I have a car sometimes that picks me up." She explained softly, remembering when Nox set it up for her months ago. "But when it's late like this I just get a cab usually. I'd rather that than bother my sister when she's home and wake her up to come get me in the middle of the night."

Vin tilt his head slightly at her comment. taking a sip of his beer, observing her before speaking "I have my car, I can take you home? Pay you back for not letting me go loose on the streets" ... The comment although seemingly lighthearted has an edge to it, an order as you will.

Alice surprise was quickly becoming a reoccurrence of the night it seemed. She blinked over at him, a confused little frown on her face as she rolled her lips into her mouth for a moment, "Oh--no. I couldn't ask you to do that.... Payback's not necessary, I just..needed to help. Besides, like you said, it's late. I don't wanna keep you from getting home any later..." Even as she spoke though, she recognized the tone in his voice, but still. "You don't have to.."

Vin examines her as she talks, letting her words spill over each other his expression calm, fingers tracing the condensation of the glass before giving a nod "I know, but I want to. I have nowhere I need to be. And I don't like the idea of you not getting home safely"

Alice looked to him, watching his tattooed hand absently trailing along his glass until he spoke. She still didn't know anything about him, barely even knew his name..and yet, for some reason, he was preoccupying himself with her safety. For a second, part of her was again wondering if this was some submission withdrawals-induced delusion. "If you're absolutely sure..then alright. Okay, you can take me home. And then I guess..that'll make us even? Since you're insisting on payback."

Vin smiles slightly "Exactly" before finishing his drink, opening his wallet and leaving enough cash on the bar to cover his drinks as well as a generous tip not only for himself but to make up for the Dominant who had stormed out before nodding "I'll be out the front at 1, take your time getting out and making sure it's done properly. I have nowhere to be, so you don't need to rush' before leaving the bar and walking to his car, a considerable distance away. By the time he drives it back? It's barely a minute past one, and he leans against the car, tapping idly at his phone screen debating on the set of hunting knives for sale, distracted in his musings, he barely notices Alice leaving the bar, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she makes her way to the car before asking bluntly putting away his phone '...Aren't you cold?"

Alice just shook her head, a little on her lips as well as she caved in. Surprise was once again written over her face though as he downed the rest of his second beer and then grabbed his wallet, leaving out waytoo much money- before she could protest though he was speaking, his tone once again slightly laced in dominance, enough so that all she could really do was listen and nod. "Okay." She agreed, otherwise struck silent as he walked out. Who was this guy? She only had one more person at the bar after him so they started closing up a few minutes early, Alice subconsciously wiping down the bar and putting all the bottles away quickly. She emptied out the register quickly but thoroughly too, wishing her coworkers a good night before getting her things. All she had with her was a thin jacket and scarf since that morning she figured she didn't need a huge coat to just run into a cab. She kind of regretted it when she walked out and the cold night air whipped her face. She looked around for only a second before seeing Vin was waiting right up front and she bit her lip to keep from smiling too much as she headed over to him. She huffed at the question though, rolling her eyes "I'll be fine, dad." She quipped easily, looking up at him and still smiling slightly.

Vin can’t help the amused quirking of his lips at Alice’s comment before taking off his jacket and draping it over her shoulders, the look of her in jacket giving a warm feeling, one that he hasn’t felt since before moving back to Verona though he pushes it down silently opening the door for her before shutting it behind her once she’s settled. He moves around the car, climbing in and starting the engine. His lips twist slightly, fingers drumming at the wheel. She intrigues him. There’s something about her gentleness, yet the fire that seems to burn in her eyes to the comments that show she can give as good as she gets and honestly? He’s not ready to take her home. He pauses at a red light before asking suddenly ‘...up for getting a bite to eat?’

Alice watched him for a moment, confused as he moved to take off his jacket, and before she could stop him he was draping it over her. The leather was heavy, swam over her frame- but it was warm and smelled of cologne and the sun and any protests she had died before they even reached her lips. "Won't you be the cold one now?" She asked simply, raising a brow at him even as her fingers came up to pull it closer around herself, hesitating only a moment more before pulling her arms through the sleeves to wear it properly as she climbed in. It was quiet in the car but not uncomfortable, not awkward. Like it'd been the other night. It was difficult for her to find people she could be quiet around, to not feel the awkwardness in the air that almost demanded some sort of conversation. Like she could just be. She didn't even have to tell him directions, given he was taking all the right turns to get back to her house. So when he spoke suddenly, popping the quiet little bubble, the question surprised her, "At one-thirty in the morning?" She asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked over at him. She was just going to say no, that he didn't have to feed her as well as take her home- he'd already done enough. But then her stomach interrupted her thoughts, grumbling a little and she flushed, turning her head away so her curtain of dark hair could hide any potential color able to be seen in the dim light and she shrugged, "I don't even know what could be open at this time but....alright, I guess."

Vin takes a turn at the lights his words blunt 'there's a diner out my side of town. 24 hour. Looks like a complete dive from the outside but the food is always good', indicating to go left the car travels down the road, the silence weighs heavily in the car, but it's not a bad silence, but more like that of a wool blanket in winter. His lips press together briefly, debating on a thousand conversation starters, before asking 'Pancakes or waffles?"

Alice watches him as he turns the car to go the opposite way, noting a few minutes in just what direction he was going. The Montague side of town. Could he be...? She ddn't voice her thoughts aloud and instead stayed quiet, watching the streetlights and the empty blocks passing by til she heard the question and her lips quirked in amusement at the random question, "Waffles. ...Unless french toast is an option." She replied with a little grin, turning to face him and raising a brow at him as they came to a stop sign, "And you? Or is everything about you just...meant to be an enigma?"

Vin examines Alice with a laugh, hand rubbing along the steering wheel... Surely he isn't that much of an enigma.. Or perhaps he was? though he humours her with an answer "Waffles, I've had too many uncooked and not good pancakes in my life to enjoy them..' before pulling into a smaller side road towards where an old sign flickers, the neon dull and barely lit. "... You really think I'm an enigma?"

Alice wrinkled her nose a bit, shaking her head, "Uncooked pancakes are just..not okay. I think that's why I taught myself how to make them properly when I was like ten, just to make sure that mishap doesn't happen at home." She smiled as sh spoke, thinking about all the times she's made breakfast for herself and her family, how she loved making blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes the most. She still had the same little smile on her lips as she looked out the window, watching as they drove, taking in the sights of the quiet streets and an older diner sign up in the distance as Vin spoke again and she hummed shrugging, "Well....considering you literally showed up out of nowhere at my bar....a week after mysteriously just..sitting there bleeding? And all I could get was a nickname out of you? Yeah, I do. And it's not a bad thing. Just....a fact."

Vin pulls into the parking lot and turns off the ignition before climbing out and opening the door for Alice, though she's already half beaten him to it by the time he gets around to the other side of the car. It's strange bringing someone here since he's usually here in the dead of night, alone. But it's also nice having someone come along with you, with no complaints. Though it could be his anonymity that does the trick since a voice eerily similar to Greta's echoes in his ear "....A Montague? You really think people want to get tied up with them?" but he shakes it off, his voice light as they walk towards the door "... Alright then. It's Vincent. Though I've only gone by that twice in my life.." the door is opened and a wave is given to them with a mumble of 'usual booth is free' though it's not really saying much since the place is deserted. A booth tucked into the corner, away from the window is where he settles, the chair vinyl worn out to the point its soft, the menus littering the table faded and stained though it's obvious the food hasn't changed in years. His lips twist slightly as he studies the menu, though he knows what he's getting before asking '...So what are you getting?"

Alice looked over as Vin came over to her side again, vaguely noting that she had to tilt her head all the way up just to meet his gaze whenever he was this close to her but she didn't say it aloud. She was surprised when he actually gave her more of a name and she smiled, not really thinking much of it as she nudged her arm against his lightly, "Vincent, hmm? It suits you. ..Although Vin suits you too. One mystery solved." She smiled as she said it, looking quite pleased with herself that she actually got some kind of answer out him. She followed him into the diner, empty and old looking--but usually places like this had the best food. Old meant stable and meant people kept coming, so clearly it had to be good. She gave the host up front a polite smile but followed Vin as he easily walked towards his destination, obvious that he came here often. She slid in across from him, keeping his coat on still for now as she grabbed the menu and looked it over, humming a bit, "Well, you did mention waffles before.."

Vin gives another one of his patent half smiles before nodding "I did. I always get mine with banana and chocolate. Classic combination' before looking up as the waitress comes across, placing his order. Espresso drip; black and a large banana chocolate waffles, waiting for Alice to order and the waitress to walk away. His thumb rubs against the side of the menu, looking at Alice's hands and the delicate ring sitting there. The question sits in the back of his throat before spilling out '... Do you have a Dominant that you need to check in with since you'll be home late?'

Alice nodded, looking over the options before going with strawberries and bananas on her waffles along with bacon on the side. She ordered a latte with extra espresso and emphasized she wanted it sweet, watching the waitress go before looking back to the man sitting across from her. It was all a bit surreal, if she was being honest. The question through her off for a second, and for the quickest moment a face shuttered through her thoughts before she shook her head, looking down at her hands for a moment, at her ring glinting in the light that she saw his eyes had dropped down on, "I don't." She replied softly as she looked back up at him, "Well, my sister. But she's not home tonight anyways." She bit her lip then, the same question now on her mind, "And you? Any subs gonna come track me down because I kept their Dom from them late?"

Vin shakes his head, his finger scratching at the tattoo on his finger '...No sub, or subs.. Plural. Not anymore. Unless my work decides it can talk, though sometimes I feel more like a slave to it..." He closes his mouth realising he's spoken more in the one sentence than he has in both times he's been in contact with Alice. "Does your sister work at the hospital too?"

Alice didn't understand why she felt a little bit of relief wash through her as he said ther was no one, why she felt her shoulders sag a bit, relaxing. She chose to ignore it. Instead she listened as he spoke, a little smile tugging at her lips at the words "And what kind of work would tjat be?" She asked curiously, realizing she now only had half his name and knew he got into a fight. And likes chocolate and banana waffles. "No, she doesn't. She works in dentistry. She probably could though if she wanted to. Anna is kinda brilliant like that." She smiled a bit as she said it, her sister being one of the most important people in her life. "Do you have siblings?"

Vin sets the menus aside as the coffee arrives, taking a sip of the steaming bitter liquid before answering 'I own a gallery. Weaponry. It's small, but constantly changing.." He notices her face light up as she talks about her sister, his own gut twinging a little before shaking his head 'no siblings, my parents are in Poland though. They moved away from Verona when I was in the army. I never did like it there.. So I came back. What about you? Been in Verona your whole life?"

Alice thanked the waitress and stirred her drink around a little before wrapping her hands around the mug, enjoying the warmth of it as she listened to him speak. While she would have never guessed the answer, owning a weapons' gallery, it...suited him. Way better than the mental image of him working in a stuffy office or something. His next comment was so casual she almost missed it but she blinked in surprise "Army?" She tilted her head a bit as she looked him over. Weapons and war. Again, knowing what little she knew about him..it made sense. How quiet he was, how serious. She thought it all over as she sipped her coffee before finally nodding "Yeah, always. We live with our dad but he's out of town a lot, always on business trips. He's a doctor too, so..it's been a bit difficult, trying to carve a place for myself in the field without just being labeled Adrian Capulet's Daughter." She made finger quotes in the air and rolled her eyes as she said it, not even really minding tjat it was the first time she one hundred percent confirmed her last name since she figured he must already know.

Vin nods in return. "Army, Ammunition Specialist. Always been fascinated with weapons.. Even as a kid. Kind of made perfect sense y'know?" One hand wraps around his mug taking a sip from it listening to her talk "You seem like you're getting it now. People respect hard work so clearly you're doing something right?"

Alice smiled, once again acting before thinking as she slid her hand along the table and tapped her finger against one of his tattooed one "I can tell." She teased lightly even as she blushed a bit once she'd realized what she was doing and she put her hand down, sliding it back to herself. "It's always good to work at something you're passionate about, so clearly you're in the right field." She took another sip of her coffee then, nodding slowly "Hopefully, yeah. I'm still a long way out from being a doctor but..one day. Hopefully." She went quiet for a moment then, absently stirring her coffee before looking back to him and asking another question tjat had been on her mind "Last week when I found you.....how'd you end up like that in the first place?"

Vin: Vin focuses on his mug before answering gruffly "Got into a fight at a club, turns out the guy had brass knuckles on. Must have been searching for a fight. I don't like backing down and well.. that's that" his hand rubs along his temple, feeling the raised welt there '...Thank you for that by the way"

Alice watched him as he spoke, almost as if analyzing his answer, wanting to see if he was lying or not. And while overall it seemed like the truth, she couldn't help but feel like there was more to the story than that. Maybe one day she'd find out more. She watched him with a little frown, still vividly remembering the blood everywhere, the bruises. Such a sharp contrast to the clean, okay person in front of her. She watched him touch a bruise on his head, the one she had to stitch up and she nodded, giving him a little smile "I couldn't just leave you there." She told him softly as she looked over to meet his gaze. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Vin isn't surprised by Alice's soft statement, though he is touched by it. Strangers at a bus stop, now sitting at a diner at 1.30am about to eat waffles. Life has a strange way of dealing you unexpected hands when you least expect it, and this night? Is no exception. His hand moves across the table of it's own accord seeking Alice's only to pull back when the waitress comes back with two loaded plates. He nods in gratitude flashing her, the first wide smile before focusing on his meal '...So Alice Capulet, what else do you do when you're not behind a bar, at a hospital or stitching up civilians stranded at bus-stops?'

Alice watched the hand his hand moved, her heart skipping a bit, and she left her own hand where it was on the table, not about to pull away. Before they could even touch though the waitress was back with their food and Alice flushed as she shifted, making room for everything. It smelled delicious and looked just as good and she smiled, happily plucking a slice of strawberry off her plate to eat as he spoke. She noticed the smile on his face and she couldn't help but smile in response. He looked good with a smile. "Fly around and save the day?" she teased with a laugh before shrugging, "I have a lot of school work. So I study a lot ..spend a lot of time at the library. Like I said before my dad travels a lot for work, and my sister isn't always home so..honestly? I spend a lot of time alone. I like the quiet." She shrugged as she said it, realizing it made her sound boring, but oh well. "and you? What do you do besides bar fights and late night diner runs?"

Vin gives a small noise of amusement carefully pulling a slice of banana from his waffles, dipping it in the chocolate sauce but listening intently to each word, "...Honestly? The same thing. I live on my own, so it's just me, and my computer and a bunch of old textbooks.. Google isn't always the best thing when it comes to weapons.. Every asshole with a gun has an opinion? So I like going through the texts.. We're always getting more and more items each week so I like combing through them. I'll spend time with friends, have meetings and really thats it. I spent the last 6 years travelling around, and before the 8 years of service so.. it's just kind of nice putting down roots you know?" the words flow easily from him, conversation easy which also in sense makes him wary. Could he be playing into a Capulet trap? But her eyes shine with honestly and good intent, and surely.. Surely. No-one is that good of an actress. His thumb rubs across his bottom lip, focusing on cutting the waffle on his plate to bitesize pieces. "I'm honestly not that interesting. Not in the long run.."

Alice she listened as he spoke, quickly noting that he tends to light up and become much more talkative and animated when speaking about his work and his interests. She wanted to know more about it, especially as he dropped casual comments about years of traveling and eight years in the army. She briefly wondered how old he was then, since he was surely older than her. As she listened she cut ip her own food, practically dousing it in syrup before humming "Being an arms dealer and ex-army? And traveling all over? Sounds pretty interesting to me." She told him simply, dipping a piece of bacon into the syrup and then pushing the plate more towards the middle so he could have a piece if he wanted. "It's me who's the boring one here. All I do is school and work. I'm almost always studying or reading....Anna's always been the more interesting twin, the one everyone wants to be around."

Vin leans over slightly plucking a piece of bacon from the plate, chewing it slowly. Alice seems to almost shrink into herself when talking about her sister. Clearly the Dominant force in the relationship and the words flood out "...Well I don't see her sitting across the table from me, so clearly not everyone." before quickly lifting his mug to his lips before he can say something else only lowering it after a few seconds to compose himself '...So what made you want to be a Doctor? You mentioned your Dad was one?'

Alice went silent for a moment at his reply, surprised by it more than almost anything else tonight and she let out a breath, biting her lip as she just nodded. She always had a tendency to downplay herself, always a little bit of self-depreciation swirling through her since she always felt like the inferior sister in any situation. "You could though, we're twins." She meant it as teasing but she wasn't sure if it came out as lighthearted as she meant it- oh well. She took a few bites of her food just so she could have a few moments to collect herself before speaking again "Well my dad, yeah. He was a factor. But my whole life I've just...liked helping people. I like making things better and doing good and just..helping. I want to be a pediatrician though, to help kids. To help those who can't really help themselves."

Vin for what feels like the tenth time, isn't surprised by her answer. Helping people, doing good.. She's just one of those naturally good people. A ray of light in an all too dark world and he's torn. Part of him wants to reach out and take her hand, feel the soft skin under his fingers, the warmth of her palm and the steady beat of her pulse. The other half is telling him to go, take her home, that anything even vaguely beautiful crumbles under his touch, that he'd mar her somehow, like the stain of the Montague name would drip onto her, smearing like ink, and he focuses back on the waffles infront of him, knife tracing along the ridges smearing the chocolate sauce on it. "...You know that's pretty admirable. Most people couldn't hack it. Not everyday. Kids are a hard job, worth it though... How long do you have to study for paediatrics?"

Alice took a few more bites of food, genuinely enjoying it. She was actually enjoying everything really- it was easy to be around Vin, comfortable...which kind of threw her off since he was still a relative stranger. She smiled as he spoke, humming a bit "it's difficult but..it's what I want to do. I know it'll be hard to deal with sick kids..kids who are helpless, but if I can help ease their pain even a little, then it'll be worth it." She thought for a moment, pursing her lips "a while. Four years for the normal undergrad. Then another four years Of medical school tjat I'm starting aaaand then about seven years in residency. So I'll be lucky to finish by my mid-thirties." She said with a laugh.

Vin shakes his head slightly. So young.. He mentally does the maths, and pegs her around the 23-25 mark, his head shakes slightly at the sheer amount of schooling that she'll undertake before asking, his curiousity getting the better of him "...So how old are you anyway? Even though if my mother was here, she'd probably smack me for asking a lady that"

Alice rose a brow at the question, laughing softly at the comment about his mom, "Spunds like she raised you right then." Her replied was tinged with something else though, her smile not fully there at a mention of a mom but she quickly pushed tjat aside and hummed softly "Twenty-four. My birthdays in June." She tacked on at the end, picking up another piece of waffle with her fork and not even asking as she reached it over the table to swipe it into a little puddle of chocolate sauce on his plate and eating it with a grin.

Vin observes wryly that he was right in the middle, he also observes the flicker of ... something that crosses her face at the mention of a Mother. She'd mentioned her Dad, her sister but never a mother and he files it away to ask about later, somewhat distracted until a fork appears on his plate with a piece of waffle attached only to swipe into the sauce and disappear. A chuckle escapes him, a genuinely amused noise compared to the half hearted noises that usually escape him only to fizzle out, and in retaliation? He leans over, cleanly plucking a slice of strawberry off her plate, raising an eyebrow. '... Mine's in May. So looks like we aren't that far apart. What date?'

Alice huffed out a laugh, shaking her head as he took food off her plate in retaliation. "You're right that it tastes good with chocolate." She told him with a nod after she swallowed, still smiling easily. "And how old will you be in may?" She asked with a smile still on her face. "June 8th. We grew up with a lot of gemini jokes as twins." ---

Vin chases a slice of banana on his plate, the fork following it before spearing it, '33. Apparently it has a whole bunch of spiritual meaning behind it. The meaning of life and such, so .. Maybe it will be a new beginning of sorts" the last part is quiet, almost pensive and pondering, his thumb rubbing at his chin thoughtfully as he remembers each birthday being celebrated before returning to the conversation at hand '...I can imagine, though you've got me curious about twins. Is it really everything it's cracked up to be?"

Vin smiles slightly, the answer unsurprising. She's someone genuinely good in this world, a rarity as it is. His hand reaches out, fingertips barely brushing at Alice's fingers, feeling the warmth radiate there and he's almost afraid to touch her. They barely know anything about each other, yet he's also been the most open he's been in a long, long time, before asking in the same quiet tone "...And what about love?"

Alice had been surprised by him countless times that night, and yet nothing could top it as she felt his fingers brushing over hers. It was like something had shocked her, jolting into her being, and she needed to mask the way her breath caught by shifting a bit on the spot and swallowing. She didn't move her hand away though, her gaze down on their fingers as she heard the question. Love. For a while there she thought she'd fallen in love with Nox. ...Thought that maybe he could fall for her the same. But with every day that went by, with him in jail and making no moves to contact her, she wondered if he even cared about her at that point, if he hadn't just been humoring her this whole time..some silly little girl that was always available whenever he'd want. She thought about Matt, her first boyfriend who was only ever even with her because he was in love with Anna. She sighed softly, shrugging a bit, not meeting his gaze "I'll let you know when I have experience it"

Vin gives a half smile, downing his coffee '...Deal' the silence extends between them, their hands still joined. His thumb rubs against the top of her hand, the soft skin warm under his touch and on impulse? His fingers entwine with hers, his calloused palm pressed to her soft one before speaking softly, almost ruefully "...I probably should get you home, shouldn't I?"

Alice gives him a little smile in return, glad he didn't push the subject. She can't help but glance down to their hands again as she feels his thumb along hers, slow, steady, until his hand is moving again. She thought he was just realizing what he'd been doing and wanted to pull away but...next thing she knew his hand was holding hers properly, their fingers lacing together and she felt her heart skip. His hand was bigger than hers, rougher, but it was still warm and she was very okay with it, so much so that she shifted her own hand slightly to hold his more. She glanced across the place to an old clock on the wall, seeing it was close to three at that point and she hummed a bit, looking back to him "Yeah...I think so.." her tone made it clear though that she would much prefer to stay right here.

Vin gives a nod in return gesturing for the cheque to be brought over, before his hand untangles from hers, the slightest squeeze to her fingers before he removes his hand completely before asking '..Is that your usual shift? The one you do tonight?' while pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

Alice missed the warmth of his hand the moment it was gone, her fingers flexing slightly before she got a hold of herself. She finished off the rest of her coffee as he asked for the check, figuring he wasn't even going to bother letting her see how much the food cost so she just nodded at the question instead "mostly i work Wednesday through Saturday nights. I'll pick up shifts when needed, stay longer...but I'm always closing shift on Wednesdays and Fridays, so yeah. Why?"

Vin slides a few notes into the folder before sliding it back to the waitress, smile lingering in the corner of his lips before shrugging and moving to get out of the booth. "Just curious", his hand rummages in his pocket for the keys mentally debating if it would be too strange to turn up the following week., forehead creasing in thought as he mentally debates, holding the door open for Alice out of habit.

Alice finishes off her coffee as well, eating the last slice of fruit off Vin's plate with a little smile and thanking the waitress before she moved out of the booth as well. She put Vin's jacket on properly, the sleeves long and the leather heavy, big enough to wrap around her frame completely as she stood beside him and followed him to the door. She thanked him as he opened the door for her, the cold night air smacking into them and she pulled the jacket in tighter, ducking down a bit as she headed back for his car, unable to help but glance over at him every now and then, the whole situation just...feeling pretty surreal.

Vin glances over at her as he opens the door for her, their eyes meeting. Wide eyes meet his and he resists the urge to stroke her cheek before closing the door behind her and walking around the car to climb in and crank the engine. A bit of silence runs between them before he asks purely out of curiosity "...So did you like the rose? I wasn't sure what your favourite colour was"

Alice hadn't expected him to make eye contact and when he did she felt a little spark of...something, and as quick as it appeared it disappeared and she moved to climb inside, thanking him softly for helping her in. Soon enough they were both inside, the engine on, and she was coming to terms with the fact that the night was coming to an end when he spoke, and when he did she couldn't help but smile "I knew it." She looked over at him, her smile widening as he admitted himself as the one who'd sent the anonymous rose to the hospital, feeling something warm flutter through her at the thought. "And I did, it was beautiful." She told him softly, knowing for a fact it was still on top of her dresser in her room. "Pink is nice. My favorite color is purple though. But not the darker shades. More like...lilac. Soft. Paler blues are my favorite too. And how about you? Gunmetal grey?" She asked with a bit of a grin, teasing.

Vin gives a half smile at the fact she likes the flower, eyes focused on the road as he takes the longer way back to her house. "Noted", and it actually files away into a little box in his head, starting to be filled with information about her. A chuckle escapes him at her comment about 'gunmetal grey' and he shakes his head, wry grin spreading across his lips '...Something like that... I don't mind navy or dark blue either, or a bit of crimson red. Not too much though. I find it flashy and sometimes obnoxious.. But dark blues. The first dagger I got myself had sapphires on the hilt.. Kind of always had a bit of a soft spot for them.."

Alice saw the little grin on his face, counted it as a win and she smiled back, nodding "Noted." She echoed, doing the same thing and committing these little details to memory in case she ever needed it. "Sapphires and amethysts have always been my favorites too. And emeralds. It's one of the few shades of green I actually really like." She decided to add on. In the back of her mind she still thought this was all so...odd. She didn't know his last name or where he lived despite him knowing it all about her. But she knew how he liked his waffles and knew now how his eyebrows crinkled in the middle when he thought about something, and knew how warm his hand was despite his fingers being calloused. And somehow, in her head, it was balancing out. She noted that he took a longer way to get her home too and she wondered if it was purposeful, but still before she knew it they were getting to her block and she let out a breath, biting her lip "Will I...see you again?"

Vin nods in agreement "..Emeralds are beautiful. Many royal families liked them in their crests. I have a selection of ceremonial daggers at home.. They got inlaid with amethyst... Apparently they used to believe the gem stopped the nervous system and not letting your emotions get the best of you in a fight.." he debates asking her around to see them, but holds off realises all too soon that they're at Alice's house, and parks out front, the engine idles for a little though he can see a shining car in the driveway which probably means the sister she'd mentioned was home. Part of him wants to keep driving, but the other part of him knows better. She could do better than him, but if her expressions are any indication she'd just as content with his company as he is with hers. His fingers tap at the wheel before giving a nod "...How about same time next week?"

Alice listened as he spoke, and just like earlier, she was quite surprised by how knowledgable he was about things. She listened intently, humming a bit, "If that's the case I should get myself one. I've always liked amethyst but I've never actually had a real one. Just that silly costume jewelry you can buy in the mall." She was kind of just talking at random now about anything, wanting to linger, prolong the inevitable. But as he got closer to the house she saw Anna's car in the driveway and knew she needed to head in soon lest her sister find out it was the middle of the night and she still wasn't home. She looked over at Vin then, gauging his reaction to the question, and when he replied she smiled, a bit surprised even as she nodded, "It's a date." She agreed before realizing what she'd said and her eyes widened slightly, cheeks tinging pink, "Not um-- I mean.." She swallowed, shaking her head as she let out a laugh, "I'm okay with next week."

Vin smiles slightly 'when you do, let me know.. I'll direct you to someone that can get you a genuine piece not something that's well... man-made." He has to hide the upturn of his lips as she speaks seemingly on the fly before getting out of the car, opening the door for her, his hand taking hers to guide her out of the car before speaking, his expression neutral. "it's a date then Alice Capulet. Now go inside before we both get in trouble by that sister of yours. Turn the lights on and off twice once you're in so I know you're safe okay?"

Alice "I'll do that." She agreed with a smile, quite liking that he'd be willing to do something like that for her. She always figured it'd look quite beautiful as a necklace or in some other piece of jewelry after all. And hey, maybe it really could keep her calm- which would be helpful as a doctor. She barely even had time to unbuckle her seatbelt before he was out and coming around to her side and she smiled as he opened the door for her, her smile just widening (and her stomach swooping) as he took her hand. She accepted his help out, keeping her hand loose in his as she blinked up at him and let out a breath, trying not to let her expression betray the butterflies in her stomach at his words. "Yes, Sir." She promised, chancing it and giving his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and shifting, "Oh, here, you should take this back." She moved to shrug off his coat, immediately missing the warmth of it as she handed it back to him, keeping her eyes up on him, "I'll see you next week."

Vin accepts his jacket back, slinging it over his shoulder, shooing her off gently "You will, no go inside before you get a cold Kitten" the nickname slips off his tongue easily.. Far too easily almost and sets an edge of unease with him, though with the wide brown eyes set on him it feels apt. More than that it feels /right/, and he moves back to the other side of the car, leaning against the side waiting for the light flickering.

Alice had been surprised by the agreement to the word 'date' and even more so to him taking his hand, but it was all nothing compared to the jolt she felt at the nickname, said so offhanded and casually that she was almost sure she'd imagined it. She was just glad it was three in the morning and the darkness of the night covered her blush quite well (she hoped). She watched him move away for a moment before she nodded and moved, walking up the front walkway and at the door she turned around, facing towards him, and she gave him one last little smile and a wave before letting herself into the house. With the door closed behind her she leaned against it, her heart beating quicker and a smile tugging on her lips as she just shook her head in disbelief that this was all happening- to her. It took a few more seconds for her to compose herself enough to turn on and off the lights twice, signaling to him that she was safe.

Vin can see despite the dim light, the flush creeping it's away up Alice's cheeks. Caught up in his own thoughts he barely catches the final small smile and wave directed at him. His hand raises in return before the lights flicker and he climbs in the car, driving back towards his side of town, refraining from deliberately revving the engine to break the serenity of the Capulet side of town.

[itstoughstartingover]

Difficult choices and the aftermath

11/1/2017

Even when I feel completely convinced that I did the right thing, Evan’s text message tirade last night really got to me. Add to that my IBS flare up, Mike’s snoring, Rocky ending, and my lack of rest day this week with PMS and I feel shaken and miserable. I want to go home and go back to bed, but I took Monday off so I can’t. I woke up to snoring and when I got out of bed I felt dizzy and just off. I went to boxing anyway because I needed to hit something after Evan’s tirade last night. He apparently decided after dropping Wilson off that it was the time to text me incessantly about how I completely gave up on us and didn’t try and everything we could have done to make things better. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell him I felt no chemistry and can’t give him what he needs - he just responds that it was different when I first moved back, but then I stopped trying. That’s not true. I tried and nothing worked, so I tried to figure out solutions in therapy and, near the end, talking to friends. I offered websites and going to a sex therapist and to try and teach him. I asked what would work better to teach him and he gave me nothing. I offered couples counseling and he wouldn’t give me any input about who to see. I tried to explain my frustrations and to figure out ways to make things better and he didn’t give me any response. I can see why he feels the way he does, but I know I didn’t just give up on us. When I said I wanted a break, I was in the process of coming to terms with the feeling that it was over. I’d been asking for changes since I moved, and he didn’t offer to do anything in terms of the house until I told him I was moving out. I had posters and boxes on the floor two months after moving in. The bedroom never got painted. I never got a fire pit. He didn’t give me the romance I asked for. The further he felt me slipping away from him, the more emotionally abusive he became. Was I perfect while things were falling apart? Not at all. I should have been there for him while he was in Pittsburgh, but the infestation and Wilson being sick made it hard to think about anything else. I was bitter and angry that he didn’t seem to appreciate that I left my family and a life behind to be part of his again. He became less open to being around my friends and was more withdrawn when they were around. He did take me for granted a lot of the time. Yes, he took a personal day to spend time with me, but it was the first time in the history of our relationship that I felt like I mattered more to him than work. There was also the day Nana Kay died when he offered to take off, but those are the only times. He stopped appreciating everything I did around the house and for Wilson that made his life easier - he always had clean scrubs, Wilson was fed and given affection and attention, his house stayed clean, the bed was made, the driveway was empty if he drove, the light was on when he came home in the dark. I got none of those things unless I nagged for them. 

He said I didn’t try, but I spent months in therapy saying “I love him, but...” There were so many things I ruminated on in therapy and tried to find ways to fix, but you can’t manufacture chemistry. I didn’t want him at all. I loved him, but I didn’t want him, and the more I tried to force it, the more upset I got about it. I was open about my frustrations and what I wanted to see change, but things remained the same. Once I decided to move out, he was ready to offer some changes, and even then he didn’t follow through on a lot of them. When I wanted a break he was willing to think about things we could do to make things better, but I wasn’t worth thinking about that much until then. So when I told him I can’t do this anymore, he felt like I gave up, when in reality I’d been the one doing most of the work and putting in the effort for months and feeling like he wasn’t trying or giving me anything to work with. He didn’t try until I told him I needed space to figure out if I was willing to keep trying with no avail. I should be the one who is going on tirades and is bitter and angry about the months where the effort waned and I was trying so hard to find ways to overlook my frustrations to make it work. He tried to find solutions for one week and suddenly I’m the horrible one because my months of effort don’t matter. His point of view is not the only one that matters. I feel badly because I spent months coming to the decision to end the relationship and I didn’t want to hurt him again. I feel badly that he’s hurting, and I’m able to see why, so I feel awful. If I didn’t have the IBS flare and lack of sleep I may not feel so bad today. 

The bottom line is I gave up my home and a life to try again. I made the effort in my individual therapy to find ways to get past my issues in the relationship because I love and care for Evan so much and I desperately wanted it to work. By July, I no longer had a partner; I had someone who wanted to take his time off in Florida, where I wasn’t welcome, and left me to care for his house. I communicated that I felt single and was struggling with his work schedule, and he maintained the status quo until the one day he took off. As per usual, it wasn’t until he was presented with an ultimatum and he felt he was losing control when he offered to make some of the changes I’d been asking for. The relationship deteriorated back to the way it felt at the end of our marriage, and after trying so hard and being so frustrated and unhappy for so long, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. There wasn’t enough good left to make it worth it. So yes, I did give up, and not until I had given it months of significant effort, time, and change. He gave it a few weeks when I first came to Erie, then again when I made changes he didn’t like at the end. He may never see my side of things, but I can take comfort in knowing that I gave it everything I had, and I walked away knowing there are things he can’t give me that I need, and vice versa. I wanted it to be right, but it wasn’t, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. A relationship without attraction, chemistry, and physicality is not something I’m willing to keep working for. If I’m going to be in a relationship, I need a partner and some fire to it. I need someone who makes me happy more than they make me sad, scared, and frustrated. I need to be my full self. 

Rocky is over and I’m both sad and okay with that. I’ll miss it, but it was exhausting. It changed me and it changed my life for the better. I found the part of me I had been missing since I left Chicago, and I feel whole again. I don’t have to repress a part of myself in a relationship anymore, and I remember how good it feels to let that part of me out. I feel more confident and worthy of love. I shouldn’t need a show to feel that way if I’m in a loving, committed relationship. The retirement planning rep from VALIC made me feel better than Evan had for months. I loved being in Rocky. I loved playing Janet Weiss, spending time with the cast, and enjoying audience accolades. I loved partying again like an idiot college kid and just living it up and having an amazing time. I realize that lifestyle is not sustainable in my thirties, nor do I want it to be. I need some of that every once in a while, but not every weekend like it was through October. I adore the people and am hopeful I won’t lose the closeness, particularly with Adele and Aimee. It was the experience of a lifetime, and the timing was so perfect with everything else I had going on. It made me see just how much my relationship was beating me down since I had so many people around me to build me up again. Even if the sexual issues hadn’t been present in the relationship, Evan really did emotionally beat me down. I know how awful I felt when I was with him for so many reasons and how trapped I felt. Now, I feel released. Even though Rocky is over, I hope I will carry the confidence and joy the experience gave me for a long time. 

Evan needs his space to vent and tell me how awful I am, and I get that. What I need to do is remind myself of how much effort and sacrifice I put into the relationship before coming to the difficult, well thought-out conclusion that I could not maintain it anymore and be happy. That’s the bottom line. 

[victorluvsalice]

Bringing this one back because I've been listening to to this video again and having Valicer feels about it this time! Specifically in the context of -- well, remember how in the tags of the Childhood Friends story for OT3 Week, I mentioned that "part of me thinks this could be the opening to a Valicer take on the 'Somebody I Used To Know' idea where Victor got yanked into the events of AMA"?

Yeaaah, that AU idea hasn't gone away. I should probably do a proper post about it at some point, just to get it out of my system, but the gist of the AU would be the trio were childhood friends who were separated shortly before the fire (there was an argument among the parents about the trio playing wedding and both Alice and Smiler marrying Victor), and end up reuniting while Alice is in Rutledge -- specifically, Victor learns about her incarceration there and goes to visit her, only to run into Smiler, who's visiting the place with their father Dr. Kelman, and letting them know her situation. The two get pulled into her treatment, and via Currently Unknown Means, end up getting pulled into Wonderland with her when she drops back in at the start of American McGee's Alice. Leading to a weird three-player situation where Victor and Smiler accompany Alice on her journey to save Wonderland, and maybe figure out a few things about themselves in the process...

Anyway, how this relates to the song (or chunklet of one) is that I keep picturing the trio in the basic situation of the AU during the video -- dealing with the Rutledge stuff in the sadder half (like some of the awkwardness of Victor and Smiler getting to know each other again, or the pair having to stop Alice trying to go after her wrists with that spoon during a certain incident), and plunging into Wonderland and working their way through that in the more triumphant half (I recently had an image of the three of them wielding the Jabberwock's Eyestaff together to finally take down that flying asshole and I quite like it). I also just like picturing their three Wonderlands all blossoming up again together in the second bit after a period spent dead and dormant -- it's nice. :) The song just lends itself to that kind of thing, you know? I like it a lot.

[victorluvsalice]

Forgotten Vows Friday: Forgetting You Chapter 5 -- Director’s Cut Edition

NOBODY PANIC I’M NOT ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO GO ON A WILD EDITING SPREE AGAIN. This is simply the addition of a single scene to Chapter 5 of “Forgetting You.” So why am I going back and sticking new scenes into an old story again?

Well, you can blame my new fan/buddy MartyrFan, an Iced Tea (Alice/Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians) fan who recently got into my Valice stuff and started binge-reading a lot of the Forgotten Vows Verse. He recently wrote a slew of reviews for “Forgetting You,” and one of them contained this quote:

It's a little late for me to be asking about this, but what about Hysteria? Alice uses it for the first time after the first memory of the fire. I think that being to do THAT was definitely worth writing about, no offense. 

Seeing that made me remember something -- I actually HAD written a scene showing off Alice’s first use of Hysteria, which also introduced the “burning Liddell doors” memories (aka the plot-important memories you have to see to progress). For some reason I don’t remember, though, I never put it in the finished product. With MartyrFan asking about, and me knowing that it was probably WAS a little weird that Hysteria and mentions of it appeared later in the fic as normal, I figured it was worth going back, rewriting the scene up to my current standards, and slapping it in Chapter 5. It comes between Alice collecting the Victor memory and Alice finding the Hatter (as Alice gets the tutorial on Hysteria right before she meets up with him again). I’ve touched nothing else save the first couple of lines of the “meeting the Hatter” scene to help it merge in a little better.

Chapter 5 on FF.net

Chapter 5 on AO3

Chapter 5 on my website (formatting went funny there though, and I still haven’t managed to change my theme)

One of the things Alice hated about the human brain, and her brain in particular, was its tendency to associate certain innocent objects and events with rather less-pleasant ones. White sheets with her bed in Rutledge, for example. Old keys with Bumby's hypnosis sessions. Red-and-white stripes with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum.

Or, like at the current moment, the front door of her house with her first fight with the Jabberwock. She glared at the portal before her – familiar white wood tarnished with gray ash, flames leaping behind the decorative iron flowers in the window, LIDDELL written in charred letters across the top. What it was doing here, set into a pile of old junk cogs and springs in the depths of the Lost and Found, she couldn't say. But it was there nonetheless – and, annoyingly, appeared to be the only way forward in this maze of clockwork and steam. "Come on, Alice," she scolded herself. "You mustn't dillydally. You saw the Jabberwock's skeleton blow away on the breeze. He's not a threat anymore. And this – it's just a door. It can't hurt you."

Her right hand ached from a long-healed wound, reminding her that yes, when the door was on fire and the knob blazing hot, it could hurt you, and very well. She sighed. "I'm wearing gloves this time – well, most of a glove," she corrected herself, wiggling her bare fingers. "And there's metaessence galore in all those boxes and barrels scattered about. I can heal myself in moments. We've barely started our journey – there's no point in stopping now."

Evil yellow eyes, thick sharp claws, a boiling furnace that poured out streams of flaming death – Alice shook the image away. "He's gone. I can't spend my life afraid of something I've already defeated." She squared her shoulders. "And if anything like him lurks behind that door, it'll have to face my Blade and my Grinder, and fall like all the rest." As encouraged as she could possibly get under the circumstances, she stepped forward and grabbed the knob, twisting it quickly and wrenching it open to reveal –

The library.

Alice stared as she stepped inside. The room was just as she remembered it, back in happier times. Shelves on almost every wall, filled practically to bursting with books old and new. Papa's photography equipment, lovingly spread out over a nearby table, filling the air with a chemical stench. Toys scattered across floor and chairs (including a jack-in-the-box – that explained a lot about where the Jackbomb had come from). The family portrait at the head of the room, showing all four Liddells in their Sunday best. And beneath that – the fireplace, blazing away to chase off the early November chill. Alice swallowed as she took it all in, only too aware of how little effort it would take to turn pleasing heat into a raging inferno. A single malignant spark, as her mother had said. . . . "Our lovely library was a fire trap. A conflagration waiting to happen!"

. . .Which I already knew, so why on earth are we belaboring the point?

Alice put her hands on her hips, letting out a frustrated growl as the memory faded back into darkness, leaving only the flame-licked door behind her. Wonderland was playing games, and she didn’t like it. Why dress up such a simple reminder so? She'd just had a memory from Mama about how dangerous her father's "unnatural devotion to printed paper" was to them. Granted, Lorina's tone had been more jocular, equally a playful complaint about her husband's hoarding habits and a hidden warning to be careful when in the room, but still. It had delivered the same message. What had been so special about this brief image that it warranted further dressing up from the little crystal house? Was there a clue she was supposed to have seen – a little thing out of place that hinted at the true cause of the fire? But everything had seemed in order. . . . If you want me to get to the bottom of things, Wonderland, you have to give me more than that!

Well, at least she hadn't had to shed any blood in her family home this time around. She turned and opened the door again. More heaps of rusty junk greeted her eyes – but they were different heaps this time, at least. Apparently she'd been taken just that bit closer to the Hatter. Which is the absolute least Wonderland can do to help – oh damn!

She burst into butterflies, just barely avoiding the steaming, oozing hand. The Insidious Ruin flapped its china jaw and waddled after her. Alice turned and sliced it to ribbons with the Blade, but more were already forming, thick black puddles rising up through the junk. . .she darted around the trash piles, trying to keep track of them all without taking a hit. Two – three – four – five – “Ah!”

She stumbled, pinwheeling her arms wildly as she teetered at the edge of a sudden drop. The Ruins (two more, seven now, she'd never faced so many at once) took advantage of her distress and charged. Alice butterflied out of the way again, but a straggler managed to sear her side as she reformed. She went to slash its hand off, only to be knocked off-balance by one of its friends scorching her back. And then another rammed into her, sending her to hands and knees. . .she butterflied once more, looking for free space, but they just followed, an inescapable black wall of pain. . .she got her feet, but another hand came out and she was stumbling backward again, terrifyingly close to the edge. . .a leap took her over them, but they turned with distressing speed. . .one tore at her hair, another grabbed her arm, and she couldn't get to one without opening herself up to another. . .it hurt, it hurt, it all hurt so much. . .so much pain, so much fear, so much – so much –

So much anger. Her jaw clenched as the Ruins kept up their attack, chipping away at her life bit by bit. She could have returned to the Home by now. She could have just gotten the stupid pills and been back in time for lunch. She could have found a book to read, or told another story to the children, or gone for a walk with Victor. She could have even been doing more chores like a normal person. But no, Wonderland couldn't let her have that, could it? It had to drag her away from reality and torture her with happy memories gone sour and never give her a straight answer to any of her questions and try to bloody goddamn KILL HER EVERY TIME SHE TRIED TO PROGRESS – Her entire body throbbed with pain, and it was too much, too much, too MUCH –

The scream exploded out of her throat, a shockwave of sound that sent the Ruins flying back. Moments later, her Blade was in her hand, and she was slicing and dicing with a fervor she hadn't felt since the last time she'd been hit with a Ragebox. "How fine you look when dressed in rage," Cheshire purred across her memory, and she did, she was a goddess of destruction in black and white and red and the Ruins were screaming, doll heads tumbling into the abyss, pipes and pulleys crashing to the ground, and it was all glorious she could do this forever kill and kill and KILL –

And then, suddenly, brown and gray and brass were back in her vision, and she had no idea how she was even staying upright.

She braced herself against a junk heap, looking around. Not a Ruin to be seen, but a whole field of metaessence roses, glittering in the dim light leaking through the ceiling. Alice collected the nearest, shaking as it broke apart into red mist and soothed her pain. She was glad that the threat was gone, but – how was she capable of such intense fury? Had some somehow managed to internalize that horrible sprayed poison from the boxes? Or was that rage just an essential part of her being? I know I can be moody, and snappish, and just plain mean, but. . .oh God, I hope I haven't hurt anyone in reality. She wiped the sweat from her forehead. Probably just proved all those doctors who liked to call me "hysterical" right. . .actually, thinking about it, "Hysteria" wouldn't be a bad name for that. . . .

She took a deep breath and steadied herself. It's over with now, she thought as she circled around the battlefield, touching each rose in turn to regain her strength. And to be fair, it got me out of a very bad situation just now. Hopefully it only triggers when I'm that near death. And, doubly hopefully, only here in Wonderland. Otherwise. . . .

She didn't want to finish that thought. She picked up the last rose and brushed off her skirts. "Over and done with," she repeated. "And I don't think Wonderland would keep me if I'd actually killed someone. Just have to keep a close leash on it." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Come on. You'll feel better when you find Hatter." I hope.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Tell Me Where To Find Shelter -- The Reboot

Okay, so -- this past Saturday, I brought back the Pentatonix/Lindsey Stirling cover of Imagine Dragon’s “Radioactive,” and commented that part of the reason the song was on my mind was because I’ve been really getting into Fallout 4, which I’m playing with Victor as my Sole Survivor. This mean that, of course, I have a Valice AU for the game -- “Tell Me Where To Find Shelter.” I originally came up with a rather simplistic version of the AU aaaalll the way back in 2016, based on what little I knew about the game (and the series in general) from getting into the Fallout Shelter mobile game and seeing a friend’s posts about her Sole Survivor. That original version could be summed up as basically “the prologue sequence, only Victor and Victoria are secretly in a poly relationship with Emily, who dies too when their kid is stolen, and Victor discovers Alice alive in the Vault as the only other one who made it -- they go out into the Wasteland together to discover what happened to Victor’s kid.” Pretty simple, right?

Yeah, you can throw all that out. Now, I have actually played the game, spoiled myself on the main quest and a lot of the side quests because I don’t give a damn, and have done a bit of research on the history of the Fallout verse as a whole. (Short version: It sucks. It sucks a lot.) So I have a lot of new ideas, meaning it’s time to reboot this verse! I wouldn’t expect a full-fledged story to come out of this (you’ve seen me panicking over the size of “Londerland Bloodlines,” right? Which is based off an action RPG that is reasonably linear and has a timeline of a month? Fallout 4 is open world and while the main quest is linear, the fact that I’ve been able to ignore it for MONTHS in-game because I can’t say no to Preston Garvey is -- eeep), but I may at least do a few snippets and whatnot.

So! Let me share what I’ve got regarding Victor’s history as the Sole Survivor of Vault 111 -- I’m gonna try to keep it to more general thoughts as I’m not totally up on the history of the Fallout world, and things may have to be adjusted if I later discover that something in the canon strongly contradicts it:

-->I have got his birth date: June 9th, 2050. This makes him 27 at the start of Fallout 4, which I felt was reasonable based on the Fallout Wiki stating both Sole Survivors were likely born between the early 2040s and the mid 2050s.

-->I still want him to be born in England, and have his family move to America a little later in his life -- though when is complicated by the whole Euro-Middle Eastern War and the New Plague putting America under quarantine for a while. The latest I can imagine is them making it over in his early teens or so, having left the broken-down wreck of the U.K. to rebuild fortunes in America.

-->They do indeed rebuild fortunes in America -- Boston, Massachusetts, to be precise. William sets up an extremely lucrative fish-canning business and makes sure to support the military extensively. (The Four Leaf fishpacking plant is almost certainly one of his in this timeline.)

-->The Victor/Victoria/Emily poly thing still happens, kicked off by Victor’s parents pressuring him into dating Victoria (whom he likes), Victor making friends with Emily (whom he also likes) -- and Victor accidentally asking Emily to prom via trying to rehearse his lines to ask Victoria to prom. Feeling bad as Emily is coming off a really bad breakup with an ass named Barkis (who stole a lot of money from her in a long con), he clears it with both girls to take Emily, and later they help defend Victoria when Barkis returns during the party and try to rob her. This leads to a close friendship, which eventually becomes something more.

-->Victor ends up being pulled into the Sino-American war straight out of high school -- William attempts to buy his way out, but for once his money doesn’t work, and Victor ends up fighting in Anchorage, Alaska.

-->This version of Victor, while still into butterflies and moths, is also a tinkerer, and quickly becomes known among his fellow soldiers in Fox Company (108th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Battalion) as “that guy who can fix anything with duct tape and Wonderglue.” (I do enjoy my armor and gun mods -- everything must be deep pocketed!)

-->I’m not sure what Victor does to earn his “decorated war hero” status yet (probably saved the lives of a lot of men with some quick repairs and shooting), but it’s enough to finally get him discharged around 2076. Victoria and Emily had gotten together while he was stuck fighting, but are only too happy to let him into their relationship. Victor officially marries Victoria to keep his parents happy, and they move into Sanctuary Hills with Emily pretending to be their “eventual live-in babysitter” to avoid scrutiny from the parents.

-->And then, during a park escapade, Victoria ends up pregnant. Baby Shaun is welcomed to the world July 31st, 2077. Everyone is thrilled, and Victor picks up a Mr. Handy soon afterward to help with baby care.

-->And then, of course, the bombs drop on October 23rd, 2077. Victor, Victoria, Emily, and Shaun just barely make it into Vault 111, and end up in cryonic suspension -- Victoria is later shot when her and Victor’s pods are reactivated during the kidnapping, and Emily dies quietly when the life support is cut to all but Victor’s pod. Victor is absolutely devastated by their deaths, and takes Victoria’s wedding ring and Emily’s favorite butterfly hair clip as mementos to remember them by before leaving Vault 111.

-->As for the actual game stuff:

Victor’s starting SPECIAL stats were Strength 4, Perception 3, Endurance 7, Charisma 2, Intelligence 8, Agility 3, Luck 3. I’ve been mainly improving Strength for carry weight, though I recently started working seriously on bumping up Charisma because I have realized making it a dump stat was probably not the greatest idea.

I can’t list all his current perks off the top of my head, but Armorer and Gun Nut are up there -- he’s very much a shooty-bang-bang kind of guy, and I believe I mentioned loving deep pockets?

Victor hasn’t met all the factions yet, but -- he’s definitely a Minuteman. I am so easily distracted by those quests, it’s not even funny. ...Well, it’s a little funny. XD He was only too happy to help Preston Garvey’s group set up in Sanctuary Hills, and he and Preston are best friends now -- aka, Preston’s the first companion who idolizes me and whose perk I got. He’s a LITTLE awkward about the whole “General” thing (”Preston, you’re the one always telling ME what to do”) but he’ll grow into it.

As for the other factions -- he’s met Paladin Danse and helped him out at Arcjet, but refused the offer to join the Brotherhood. . .he might go back and do some missions with them, but I don’t think he’s going to like Elder Maxson’s views on synths and ghouls (Super Mutants -- okay, Super Mutants are assholes). He hasn’t met the Railroad yet, but I think he’ll like them and join up to help, even if he thinks some of their methods need tweaking. The Institute -- I think he’ll be of the mind that their discoveries are good, but they’re using them for such evil purposes, and -- ugh.

That being said, I’d like to go for the Minutemen ending that does not require warring with the Brotherhood of Steel, simply because there are kids on that airship and I’d feel bad shooting it down. If there was a way to just get rid of Maxson and maybe yank the Brotherhood closer to its Fallout 3 views. . .and if not blowing up the Institute was an option, Victor would be for it. Getting rid of the top brass who have completely written off the Commonwealth is one thing -- but the building, with all its advances? That could be useful.

Oh, and yes, he is adopting Synth Shaun -- but he is letting the kid know who and what he is, to help him forge his own path in life. (Synth Shaun also correctly guesses his new Dad feels awkward calling him by his predecessor’s name, and they decide on “Chester” instead.)

As for companions he’s currently met -- mentioned already that Preston’s his best friend, and he’s a solid supporter of the Minutemen. He adores Dogmeat and has made him a doghouse to live in at the Red Rocket near Sanctuary. He likes Piper Wright and her desire to spread the news quite a lot (and finds her attractive too). Danse he admires for his commitment to his men and his cause, but doesn’t really know him beyond that due to not joining the BoS. He IS very thankful for the gun, though -- Righteous Authority is useful! Codsworth and he had some rough moments at the beginning (I gave Mama Murphy some Jet for a vision, and poor guy got in the way of some friendly fire on an early trip), but seeing Victor get his modding on has improved their relationship quite a bit (Codsworth sees it as Victor getting back to his old helpful self). He’s encountered Ada and has grown quite fond of the little robot, wanting to help her avenge her slaughtered caravan family (WHY CAN I NOT HUG THE ROBOT). And he’s rescued Strong from Trinity Tower. . .and ended up getting sick of the Super Mutant’s constant negative comments toward humanity and inability to figure out stealth. He was helpful in taking back The Castle, but currently Victor’s got him living with a couple of settlers as a “guard” of sorts, in the hopes it’ll keep him busy and out of Victor’s hair.

And now you may notice there’s a strange lack in this longer-than-I-anticipated write-up. . .namely, where the hell is Alice? Well, that question has three answers:

-->For the purposes of my playthrough, I’m designating Piper as Alice -- she’s going to be Victor’s romance option in this game. (Me turning my attention to boosting Charisma may have been inspired by being unable to flirt with her during an affinity conversation no matter how many times I reloaded.)

-->An idea I had recently to put Alice in the verse was have her as a native-born Wastelander/escapee from a Vault (latter would probably be best to keep her history -- oh cripes, maybe she was from a Vault where BUMBY was OVERSEER, imagine THAT horror) who discovers the history of the “Order of Mysteries” (a group of women, lead by the old voice actress of the Mistress of Mysteries, who turned herself into a legit superhero post-Great War -- unfortunately betrayal led to the group dying out) and decides to take up the mantle, much like the Sole Survivor can become the Silver Shroud. She’d show up not long after Victor starts Shrouding around, asking to meet -- they’d have a little spar, end up fighting another enemy together, and she’d join up as a companion, leading to eventual romance.

-->But the first idea I had to get Alice into the story was. . .well. . .

Let me put it this way -- for quite a while, I was playing both Vampire: the Masquerade -- Bloodlines and Fallout 4 at the same time.

. . .yeah, I think this is going to need another post.