#part of his 'artistic mind' he can also probably over analyse the shit out of a text and gaslight people into believing his interpretation-

[askblueandviolet]

Ask Box for Macaque is open!

Funny thing about the couch (other than the fact that it is the Mayor's couch but copy and pasted and recoloured) is that... It's a light coloured couch. Which doesn't really make sense because you would think Macaque would get a dark coloured couch like the emo monkey he is. But I think the reason I chose the lighter tone is because it makes him stand out more for drawing purposes, haha. And also, let's be honest, I don't think he would have gone out of his way to specifically get a darker couch. He probably found this one on the side of a street and called it a day.

Anyways, the box is open for 24 hours! Go ham everyone.

Update: Ask Box is now closed :)))

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[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[yunkiwii]

tattoos together | college au

Pairing: FWB!Seonghwa x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff დ

Warnings: slightly suggestive, drinking, language

Word Count: ~3k

Requested: no, but you can see how to do so here if you’d like!

A/N: I recommend listening to tattoos together by lauv, since this is based on that song. ♡

Summary: (y/n) met Seonghwa in college and they quickly became close, ending up as friends with benefits. On a night out with some friends both of them ended up drinking a bit to much and well, I think we all know where this is going.

⇘

“Whereee shouuuuld weee go next?” (y/n) asked, loudly, as she grabbed Seonghwa’s arm so she wouldn’t fall, being tipsy from all the wine she had been drinking with her friends at dinner.

“You should probably head back home before you hurt yourself or someone else.”

“Don’t be a mood killer, sweetie!” (y/n) groaned back to Mia, pointing a finger to her way too sober roommate and best friend. "We still have a long long night ahead of us!" (y/n) stumbles making Seonghwa hold her closer to him.

Seonghwa wasn't nearly as drunk as (y/n), just tipsy enough to go on board with her crazy plans without thinking twice.

"So, let’s go find a party to crash!" the boy started walking away from his friends dragging a smiley faced (y/n) with him, both clearly more intoxicated than the rest of the group.

They hadn’t gone far, mainly because of how slow their feet were moving, when Hongjoong intervened.“Guys! Wait up!” they stumbled on their own feet when turning around to look at their friend. Their two friends were already approaching them. “Do you guys really think it is a good idea to just wander around like that?”

“YES!” both stated firmly at the same time before bursting into laughter.

“Well, I’m not in the mood and since you’re both adults you can take good care of yourselves.” Mia shrugged her shoulders and was about to leave when she remembered something else, “Please be quiet when you get home, and be safe.” She threw a warning look at Seonghwa when saying the last words. She knew how crazy her best friend could get with a couple of drinks and a party, and Seonghwa had a strong effect upon (y/n) that Mia never understood, and she only hoped he would use it for (y/n)’s sake.

“I’ll take you home, Mia. See you tomorrow guys.” Hongjoong did a little run to catch up to the girl. The other two friends bursted into laughter again when they saw Hongjoong place an arm around Mia’s shoulder.

“Now we know why they wanted to go home so badly…”

“Oh Seonghwa, they’re not like us. They will probably just cuddle for now. Let’s go!” (y/n) grabbed the boy’s hand and started her demand to find a party again.

“What do you mean they’re not likes us? We also cuddle!” (y/n) giggled at how offended Seonghwa sounded.

“Hm you know, they want a real relationship, we’re just friends having fun. Besides, our cuddles are never just cuddling.” She said it like it wasn’t a big deal and didn’t really think much of it. Seonghwa on the other hand got hurt, he didn’t quite understand why though. They agreed from the very start that this was a casual friends with benefits kind of thing, nothing more.

He shook these thoughts out of his head, thinking perhaps it was just the alcohol speaking.

In the meantime (y/n) uploaded a story of them on Instagram asking if there were any parties they could crash. That story led them to a new club that had opened recently, making (y/n) almost run there out of excitement. This was her first night out in two months, after being trapped between her room and the library to study for exams. Now she was finally free and wanted to live it to the fullest, Seonghwa not minding at all to join in.

Unfortunately, the excitement soon turns into disappointment. They get to the club, ID’s in hand, bodies already moving to the muffled beat leaving the building, but the security guard stops them from going any further. They look at each other and back at the big, buffy man, that blocked the entrance with his arm, with confused looks. They had already showed their ID’s, it didn’t make sense.

Then, the guard pointed at (y/n)’s clothes. She was wearing black shorts, fishnet tights, combat boots and the piece of clothing that seemed to be the problem, an oversized boyfriend style t-shirt.

“You can’t come in with boy’s clothes.” The big man stated, without an ounce of emotion in his voice.

“WHAT?” (y/n)’s posture changed completely; a defiant look marked all over her face, “That doesn’t make any sense! These aren’t boy’s clothes; these are MY CLOTHES! And even if they were boy’s clothes, we live in a free country, I can wear whatever I want!”

“Then go wear whatever you want somewhere else. You can’t come in like that, it’s the club’s policy.”

“Fuck the club’s policy! That’s so unethical what the hell?! I can’t believe people were recommending me this shit hole!” (y/n) screamed into the guard’s face, pointing fingers, waving arms and when she was finished, she spat on his shoes. Yes, she spat. Seonghwa grabbed her hand immediately pulling her out of there before they got into trouble, and ran away into nowhere, just wanting to get away.

“I’ll make sure to fill a complaint later.” Seonghwa stated after catching his breath from the unplanned cardio. “Also, I think this run sobered me.”

“I can’t believe that wearing oversized clothes is breaking club’s policy, what the hell?” (y/n) sat on the sidewalk still annoyed with the situation. “I’ve would’ve spat on his face if he weren’t to be that freaking huge.” Seonghwa laughed loudly sitting down next to her, making her laugh as well. “Thank you for pulling me out, he could probably smash me with one hand.”

“That’s what I’m here for (y/n), Mia delegated me the job when she decided to go home. But I got to say, you scare me sometimes.” He bumped his shoulder on hers lightly, making her look up at him smiling. “What should we do now? Go home?”

“I guess... the night is ruined anyway, and I also think the run sobered me.” (y/n) chuckled, leaning her head to rest on the boy’s shoulder. This simple gesture almost made Seonghwa forget how to breathe, starting to feel funny things in his stomach. He remained as still and quiet as possible, afraid that even the slightest movement would make her stand up and break the contact.

They stayed like that for a while, still recovering from the run. Until (y/n) noticed something right in front of them that made her stand up with a sudden movement, startling Seonghwa. She widened her eyes and looked down at her friend, as happy as a kid opening Christmas’ presents.

“What?”

“This night can still be memorable! I’m a genius!” she started crossing the road, stopping in the middle to look at her friend, still standing up from the sidewalk. “Come one! Hurry up!”

Seonghwa could not believe how a person could change their mood that fast. A few moments ago, she was pouty, annoyed, angry, and just wanted to go home. But now, she looks like a child and is ready for a new adventure as if nothing had happened before. He did love that about her. Love? Wait, no what? He liked her, liked, as a friend. He was sure of it. Or was he?

“How?”

“How what?”

“How are you going to make this night memorable?” that question made her smile even wider, grabbing his hand for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night, dragging him to a small shop with a neon light sign. As soon as Seonghwa realised what it was he stepped back.

“No, (y/n), no way you’re getting a tattoo here!” his face expression was shock, and nothing else.

“No, I am not. We are!”

“What do you even know about this place? Is it even hygienic?” Seonghwa glanced over the tattoo shop with disgust.

“I don’t know,” (y/n) shrugged her shoulders, “but we should get inside and find out.” She stepped in without a care in the world, a little bell rang when she opened the door.

Seonghwa walked behind her looking around, analysing every small detail searching for any red flags that would tell him to get the hell out of there. So far, everything seemed nice, it was organized, the store overall seemed clean, and the tattoo drafts hung upon the walls were actually aesthetically pleasing.

“This doesn’t look so bad… but what kind of tattoo shop is opened until this late at night?” The boy wasn’t yet convinced, and (y/n) knew it would take him a while, being as cautious as he is.

“Stop being so septic about everything, Hwa!”

“May I help you?” a voice coming from behind them made (y/n) jump. A tall woman came out of the side door, probably leading to where the tattoos were made, and greeted them with a smile. “Sorry if I startled you, love.”

“Oh, hm, we want to get tattoos! Together!” Seonghwa glanced over at (y/n) wondering why she was being so weird and flustered all of a sudden, so lost looking at her that he didn’t even corrected the together part. But he went back to reality when the woman spoke again.

“So, you want matching tattoos?”

“NO! We don’t, I don’t, I haven’t agreed to this yet! (y/n), a word please?”

“We’ll be right back!” (y/n) said all smiley to the woman, who smiled back at her while she was basically being dragged to the outside again. “What the hell Hwa? You could’ve been nicer back there!”

“You are all heart eyed looking at that tattoo artist!”

“So what? … are you jealous Hwa?”, (y/n) smirked, tilting her head sweetly, pleased with how annoyed the boy looked about the situation.

“What? No! I don’t have any reason to be jealous, this,” he pointed between them,” this isn’t a relationship, so no, I’m not jealous. You wish. And don’t give me that look!”

“You look cute when you get nervous, Hwa.”

“Shut up, let’s just go home!” he said as he started to walk away, but (y/n) was stubborn and wouldn’t leave without a tattoo so she stood in front of him so he wouldn’t go any further.

“We haven’t gotten our tattoos yet. And I really want a tattoo on my thigh and I really want to do it with you!”, she pointed her index at him touching his chest slightly.

“Why though?”

“Because I don’t have any thigh tattoo yet, duh..”

“And you should get one, there’s plenty of space for it.” He smirked glancing at (y/n)’s thick thighs, getting a soft punch on his shoulder as a response. “But why with me? Do I really have to make one too?”

“Yes! I really want us to have something ours, I have one with Mia as well and you’re my only other best friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

“And how will a tattoo help you with that, huh?” he crossed his arms looking down at (y/n) with furrowed eyebrows.

“When I get mad at Mia for some reason and I want to hate her, I look at the tattoo we made together and it just brings back all the good stuff and I know everything will be okay, because at the end of the day we still love each other and that won’t change over a stupid fight.” The girl gets embarrassed as soon as she realises that she just shared something that until now was only hers, making her look down at her feet. “You probably think it’s silly and that’s okay, we won’t do it if you don’t want to.” Voice quieter than before, barely audible but Seonghwa heard her just fine.

“Okay, let’s get thigh tattoos. Together.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened at the statement, and the looks of happiness and excitement of before came back to life again, making Seonghwa laugh at how adorable his friend looked.

“Really? Thank you so much Hwa!!!” she hugged his torso so tightly that he almost went out of breath.

“I have one condition though. To make it more fun, you know?” (y/n) nodded, indicating him to proceed, “I pick a design for you and you one for me, and we can only see it after it is already tattooed on our skin. What do you say?”

“Uhhh that does sound like fun! But don’t make it too big nor too dark, please!” he nodded in agreement and they went back inside to pick the said designs.

They shared their idea with the tattoo artist, who got really excited about it and took them, one at the time, into the other room to discuss their ideas and bring them to life. (y/n) picked a woman’s body silhouette, besides looking really cool it just made sense since their friendship started as something more physical than emotional. Seonghwa on the other hand chose a minimalist alien, it reminded him of when they first met and (y/n) couldn’t pronounce his name correctly and would just call him alien face, he also asked the tattoo artist to make it face her so she wouldn’t have to look into a mirror to see it properly.

(y/n) went in first to get her right thigh tattooed, so excited that she didn’t bother to take off her clothes, simply ripping her tights in the spot she wanted the tattoo.

“Hm ok, that was hot!” Seonghwa said softly, trying to control himself avoiding looking at (y/n)’s now more exposed thigh.

“Keep it in your pants, Mr. Park.” (y/n) laughed as she laid down to finally get the tattoo her dear friend picked, getting more and more anxious as the moment approached while Luna got her supplies ready. Seonghwa then pulled a chair to sit next to her and keep her distracted so she wouldn’t try to peak.

After a while, (y/n) stopped feeling the needle puncturing her skin and looked up at Luna, eyes wondering if it was already done. The other woman nodded, and she immediately stood up to see the result, a high pitch squeak leaving her lips as soon as she saw an alien facing her.

“Hwa!! I have your face on my thigh!!” her eyes wide, looking between her leg and her friend, a huge smile on her face and eyes almost tearing up at how happy she was. “I love it, I love it, I love it!” she wrapped her arms around the boy’s neck and gave him a kiss on his left cheek, squeezing him against her and holding him there for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now it’s your turn! Go, go!”

Seonghwa got up right away and started to take his pants off, making (y/n) look away.

“Please (y/n), as if you’ve never seen me naked!” he chuckled throwing his pants at her as soon as got them completely off, catching her off guard making her laugh.

They repeated the same process, now with (y/n) seated in the chair keeping Seonghwa distracted by making terrible puns and dad jokes. The needle puncturing his skin stang a bit but, just like (y/n), he already had a few tattoos, so he got used to it quickly. When Luna finished the second tattoo of this iconic duo, as she started to call them, Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh at (y/n)’s choice.

“This will certainly remind me of you and make me hate you a little less if it comes to that.” He chuckled making (y/n) blush a bit without him noticing. “Thank you for talking me into this, it’s a memorable night for sure.” And kissed her cheek, not as roughly as she did to him, it was a soft kiss, his lips barely touching her skin, and yet it was enough to make her even more flustered, awakening funny feelings in her tummy.

After spending all that money on the tattoos, they decided it would be best for their bank accounts to walk home instead of getting an uber, making their way across town to (y/n) and Mia’s apartment in a slow pace, most of the way made in silence for they were too tired and sleepy, needing to channel all their remain energy towards their legs to be able to walk.

As they were approaching (y/n)’s building their pace slowed down, stopping right in front of the pathway, the girl already looking for the keys in her messy bag while walking towards the front door.

“See you tomorrow (y/n)” he says as they reach the door, (y/n) with the keys in hand already opening the door, and he places a kiss on her forehead not breaking the contact right away. (y/n) didn’t say anything until he was already halfway the pathway.

“Hwa, wait.”

“Huh?” the boy turned around, standing near the sidewalk.

“Why don’t you stay for the night?” she asked almost in a whisper, but Seonghwa heard it anyway and took a few steps closer to her.

“Oh (y/n), I would but I’m really tired and-”

“Just for cuddles, Hwa…” she tried to keep her eyes in his but the vulnerability her request showed made her instinctually look down at her feet.

“Just cuddles? Are you sure?” Seonghwa couldn’t hide his amusement, since (y/n) always made it clear that to her the benefits part of their friendship should be associated with sex at all times because, according to her, getting emotional and cuddle just for the sake of cuddling would turn this into a real and serious relationship, even though the boy tried to convince her otherwise multiple times.

“Shut up and get in before I change my mind.”

They went up to the apartment as quietly as possible, making their way to (y/n)’s bedroom right away and changing into more comfortable clothing, which to Seonghwa meant underwear and nothing more.

He laid on his back wrapping an arm around (y/n)’s shoulders as she laid her head onto his chest, embracing his torso and putting one leg over his. It was comfortable, warm, and felt safe, for both of them.

“This still doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship Hwa.” (y/n) groaned falling deeply into sleep.

“We could be though.” But (y/n) didn’t hear it.

♡MASTERLIST♡

net: @ateezlovenet

[shoujosoulsearching]

Mars, AKA The Shoujo Manga with Too Much Emotional Baggage for One Woman to Carry

SPOILER WARNING!!!

The Roman god of war, Mars, was said to love violence and conflict--he was known as the embodiment of bloodthirst. Unlike his Greek counterpart Ares, however, who was considered to be more destructive in nature, Mars was seen as more of a protector, a bringer of peace.

With a title like Mars, one has to wonder what side of the Roman god is going to be showcased in the story: the bloodthirsty divine or the righteous guardian? For a shoujo manga, you’d expect it to go the latter, but upon reading Fuyumi Souryo’s fifteen-volume teenage melodrama, the answer to that question turns out to be much more complicated than you think.

The actual story itself has nothing to do with the literal god named Mars--he’s only explicitly shown in the first volume as a statue, which our playboy prince charming, Rei Kashino, approaches and kisses on the mouth. Kira Aso, our introverted and artistic leading lady, is infatuated with this sight and asks Rei to become a model for her to sketch during her free time. From that moment onwards, their relationship blossoms, and they both bring out things in each other that would have never been brought to the surface if they had never met.

While it has its fair amount of stereotypes what sets Mars apart from its contenders is the way the main couple is portrayed. Rei and Kira are individually appealing characters, and their qualities are only enhanced as they grow closer throughout the story.

Our leading man Rei is the first character that truly jumps off the page from the get-go. A motorcycle-riding playboy who couldn’t care less about school, Rei’s a boy with deep-rooted issues and a devil-may care attitude. He has an unmeasurable sense of justice, and while he has a sense of morality, he won’t always uphold it when the situation tests him. If he gets a bad feeling from someone, he will immediately turn to hostility--but only when the event pertains to something he wants, or something he cares about. He understands what the “right” thing to do is, but he doesn’t care. As long as he isn’t stopped by Kira or someone else’s plea, he will fix the problem in a way that satisfies him.

This type of violent behavior would usually be associated with a sociopath, but upon further inspection that turns out to not be the case. Most of Rei’s questionable actions come from a post-conventional reasoning, and it’s apparent that whenever he acts out it’s because he’s either been deeply hurt by something in the past or he’s afraid to lose what he cherishes in the present. I’m not at all justifying his actions, but the point is that Rei has never been a true monster, and whatever monstrous aspects he had to him were eventually blurred away by Kira (who was the first person to ever love him that wasn’t incredibly toxic.)

The main difference between a sociopath like Masao Kirishima and someone like Rei, is that Rei is just a teenager who’s been hurt one too many times and only knows how to self medicate using violence. He had never been policed for his actions in a proper way. As we learn in the last volume, his memories were altered during his time in the psychiatric ward to lessen his trauma. Once you look beyond his blunt and aggressive exterior, Rei is the most genuine character in the entire series. He’s just a teenage boy that’s been through too much hardship that he never deserved, and was never emotionally mature enough to handle all of it. He’s rightfully angry at the world--until he meets Kira.

It took time for our heroine to shine like her male counterpart did, but a few volumes in, Kira becomes a show-stopping character. Originally an immovable introvert only interested in painting and nothing else, Kira grows into her own loving, hopeful person. One of the things I appreciated the most about Mars was it’s portrayal of mental illness--nothing is never outwardly said, but it’s obvious that Kira had been going through not only anxiety but a deep, dark depression she can’t bring herself back from. The way Kira thought about death, the way she always put others needs before her own, etc, made her real and relatable to me on a personal level. I’ve had those same issues my entire life, and seeing Kira slowly and surely come into her own throughout each volume wasn’t just satisfying, was inspiring.

The most tantalizing reveal about Kira and why she acts the way she does is when we learn that she was raped by her stepfather in middle school. Not only did she start isolating herself after the incident, she began to live in her head, where a more sinister, damaged and unhinged Kira would imagine killing herself and those around her. This is an extremely serious subject to dive into--and Mars doesn’t cover up the darkness behind it. It’s not romanticized, it’s ugly and depressing, and the worst part is that we never get the feeling that Kira will ever fully recover from it. Yes, she learns to become intimate with Rei because she trusts him--but it’s implied that in the deepest, darkest parts of her soul, that horrible memory will continue to live on.

The first thing that struck me, and my favorite aspect of the entire series, was how genuine the relationship between Rei and Kira felt--several times in the story there’d be a break where they would just talk, and not talk as in they’d tell each other things that would move the plot forward, or with a clear purpose in mind--they have actual conversations. They talk about each other’s hobbies, about their existential crises, things that actual teenagers talk to each other about. With every heart-to-heart comes another glimpse into who these two are as people, and it becomes apparent that they cherish and remember every word they say to each other. It’s clear that these two characters grow because of each other, and turn one another into the best versions of themselves. They’re honest and authentic with each other in ways only adolescents can be. As two teenagers who’ve never had anyone to be their shoulder to cry on, their relationship just feels right, and their marriage at the end of the series is one of the most wholesome and satisfying things I’ve read in a shoujo manga.

Up until now I’ve sung praises to Mars for the two main characters and their dynamic, but unfortunately, besides a few exceptions, the rest of the characters in the series are either uninteresting, unlikable or just straight up garbage human beings. To keep it short, just seeing Shiori, Kurosawa or Harumi on every panel would get me peeved. Masao Kirishima was the last straw for me, however; once I got deep enough into his arc I ended up putting down the series for a few days, because I couldn’t stand his presence (not to mention the ONLY canonically LGBT character just HAD to be an evil psychopath who wanted to kill people for pleasure…..REALLY……) but I’ll throw in a head-canon saying that these characters only exist for me to appreciate the main couple more (which it did) so I could look over it.

By far Mars’ biggest problem is it’s tone. Soap operas can be fun, don’t get me wrong, and there are plenty of times where Mars gets it right--but also plenty of times where it becomes overbearing. The series was probably best to read week by week when it was being released in Bessatsu Friend magazine; it’s not hard to imagine Souryo stuffing in enough melodrama in each chapter before it’s release in order to keep reader’s interest. Marathon-reading it is very much a different experience. And it doesn’t help that It’s clear that this is a product of its time. A lot of popular shoujo manga in the 90s tended to stretch the drama, i.e. the insane level of bullying, the evil side characters insisting on keeping the main couple apart, etc.

Using an example from Mars, Rei reveals he used to have a brother, who is actually dead, and when Kira asks how he died, before Rei can answer, a man jumps off a building and the police are called. Rei has a panic attack after seeing this, and it’s implied that his brother died from suicide. Then, we go back to the high school where it’s revealed that a character named Kurosawa also attempted suicide, and is currently getting treatment. Then Rei and Kira go out on a date. ALL IN ONE CHAPTER. If you got exhausted reading that, try reading that page-to-page in one sitting. It was entertaining, sure, but it took me out of the immersion every now and again.

I can shit on these aspects as much as I want, but without them, Mars wouldn’t be Mars. It’s apart of its charm, in an odd way, and it only enhances everything the series does right. At times, it’s as if Mars is drowning you in it’s depressing conflict and weighing you down with it’s emotional baggage, enjoying every second of your agony--but in the end it always comes back around, making wrongs rights and surprising you with its tenderness. That’s why I think this manga has the perfect title. I doubt Fuyumi Souryo intended for this, but in its own roundabout way, I believe Mars is an allegory for the Roman god, and a good one that you definitely shouldn’t miss out on. 

And I’m giving this one a STAR rating.

(Check out my other manga analyses here, and my standards here.)

(Follow me on twitter @/choerrychrist)

[besotacito]

Instagram

Group: ToppDogg / XENO-T

Pairing: broken!XeSol (Xero/Hansol/Minsung)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst, AU, romance

Trigger warnings: non-explicit mention of depression/suicide attempts.

Word count: 2,133

Note: This is the first time I make an attempt at writing a fanfic in English. I originally wrote it in Spanish so most of it is actually just translated, but there are some parts I edited and adapted so it’d sound a bit better? in English, I guess. Please do notify me of inconsistencies or grammar mistakes. 

As for the fanfic itself, please note that it is only fiction even if it mirrors some things that happened in reality. I hope it doesn’t offend anyone in any way. I wrote this because I’m an emo lil shit who needed to make herself suffer with a made-up angsty scenario that helps her assimilate that she’s never getting more XeSol moments ever again, probably. So that’s it. I can’t promise you’ll enjoy reading it because I cried writing it, so.

Yeah so how are you these days?

I’m still the same, can’t sleep

Your short hair looked so pretty

But I didn’t press like

‘Cause it just seems a bit ridiculous

His fingers scroll down his white smartphone screen. His room is pitch dark and he has been looking at his phone like this for a while, which is not good at all for his eyes. Or his heart. His mind is going back to a million memories of past years and his heart starts clenching little by little. Judging from his Instagram profile, in the end he followed his alternative path, the ‘B plan’ that he remembers having heard about back in their trainee days.

“I think I’ll just be a choreographer if this idol thing doesn’t work out,” he had said jokingly, although he looked like, deep inside, he meant it.

“Don’t say that. We’ll make it work. We’ll do fine, you’ll see. The name ‘ToppDogg’ by itself already feels successful,” he replied back, ruffling the other boy’s hair.

He was not surprised at all by the quality of his choreographies. Hansol- no, Minsung, Jiho reminded himself, was gifted when it came to dancing and not only that, but he was also an innate performer who knew how to combine both dancing and aesthetic features in a unique artistic way. Even so, he had to reckon the boy had improved a hell of a lot. His dancing style was very far from that of the boy who practiced dancing with him in the academy over 7 years ago.

He accidentally clicked on one of his most recent pictures, but he didn’t press the back button. He stared at it. His face looked radiant in spite of not having a smile on it. He looked fine—stable, calm, perhaps even happy. Jiho hoped it was like that. He hoped that he was at least as happy as he had always wanted and deserved. At least it was noticeable that was not the same sad Hansol- no, Minsung, that he had seen for the last time. It was a relief. He wasn’t the same person. He didn’t even look like the one in the old memories of Jiho, if he took a moment to carefully analyse the pictures. Truth be told, Jiho felt like he didn’t know who that boy in the pictures was. They had lived together for many years and shared countless experiences, but he didn’t know that person. Minsung? Jiho had no idea who that was; where he came from. He could barely remember Hansol and he wasn’t sure Hansol remembered him.

The last time they met… Jiho would’ve never imagined it would be the last time and that everything would go downhill from there. Hansol- no, Minsung, dammit, sent him a text on KakaoTalk asking to hang out in a café, just to get some distraction. Back then, it had been long since they had had a schedule as ToppDogg. The promotions for their last album had finished months ago and they weren’t working on new songs or performances or anything of the sort. Everyone were kind of worried about how things were going. Everyone, but especially Hansol. Minsung.

“Hey, sorry I’m kind of l-”

Jiho remembers coming up to the boy to greet him, but as soon as he came a little bit closer he could see the tears streaming desperately down his face. He couldn’t even finish his sentence before he had wrapped his arms around the other’s small frame. Hansol was trembling. Minsung. No, back then he was Hansol.

“Aren’t you tired?” Hansol asked out of the blue after being quiet for some minutes, just barely sipping on his coffee while trying to calm himself down and stop sobbing.

“Mm? Tired… of what? I’d say I’ve had lots of time to get some rest,” he replied jokingly, pretending he didn’t know what Hansol meant.

“That’s the problem, you see. I’m tired of this. Of trying again and again and failing. I’m tired of everything.”

“Hey, don’t think like that. We gotta stay positive. Maybe things aren’t going the way we’d like them to, but we still have our fans and our company—”

“Don’t be silly, Jiho,” he cut him off. “Do you think our fans are gonna wait forever? That they’ll stay by a failed group? Our company’s trying hard for any other artist that’s not us.”

“Hansol,” he called out, covering the boy’s hand with his own on the table, “we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we can’t lose hope. I trust us and what we can achieve together.”

Hansol looked like he was actually contemplating what Jiho had said, but replied:

“Your optimism is stupid, Jiho.” And retreated his hand to take a hold of his coffee.

After that, they fell silent for a long time. Jiho fidgeted with his fingers over the table. This conversation was making him feel uneasy and awkward; he didn’t know what to say. But more than anything, he was worried about Hansol.

“Has it gotten worse, lately? Have you been feeling worse?” he asked softly, only for Hansol to hear.

“…I just wanna escape from this hell,” he muttered back, not looking at his eyes.

Jiho didn’t know what to say, as per usual, so he chose to stay quiet. Neither of them said anything else for some minutes. Jiho couldn’t even look at Hansol in the face because he felt horrible for not being able of offering more comfort than his stupid optimism. That’s why he flinched a little when he felt Hansol’s hand back on his, caressing his fingers. Jiho didn’t stop him, because he liked the sensation. Because he missed him. Because deep inside, Jiho knew he had committed a mistake that he would always regret, even if he had done it thinking it was the best option for them back then.

“Hansol-”

“I’m gonna miss you.”

Their voices overlapped.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m leaving to China for a few months. To study dancing.”

“What?”

Jiho retreated his hand and straightened up in his seat, almost in shock.

“But… what about the group? Does the company know about this? Did they approve of this?”

There was this look in Hansol’s eyes while he mustered up the courage to finally say:

“…Jiho, I’m leaving ToppDogg.”

In that moment, it felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him. He couldn’t react. It took him a few moments to grasp what was happening. Leaving to China to study dancing? Leaving the group? Had he lost his mind?

“Do you realise you’re sabotaging the group and being selfish?” was the first thing he managed to say, not really thinking about what he was saying.

“Excuse me? I am sabotaging the group?” Hansol raised his tone a bit. “May I remind you, it was Hyunho and Dongsung who left us first. Hyosang and Taeyang left us too.”

Jiho bit his lip. He knew Hansol was right, but right now his heart was in pain from just imagining Hansol leaving the group and going to another country for who knows how long.

“There is nothing we can do about this anymore, don’t you realise that? What do you want me to stay here for? To see how life passes me by and nothing gets better no matter how hard I try?”

“…You could stay with me.”

Everything became quiet for a few moments that seemed to last for way longer while both of them stared into each other’s eyes. Jiho could see the tears welling up in Hansol’s eyes while he bit his lips and shook his head.

“Please, don’t do this to me…” he muttered in a thin voice.

“If you leave the group, then I will too. We can start all over, together. No fearing and no hiding this time, we won’t have to-”

“Jiho, don’t,” Hansol cut him off softly, getting a bit closer and holding his hands on the table. “That’s not what you want. Besides, it was you who took the decision years ago. There’s no going back now.”

Hansol’s voice sounded so gentle and composed in spite of the tears in his eyes that it was hard to believe what he was saying was hurting Jiho as if a million knives were stabbing his body.

“Why’d you ask me to come, then? If it was going to be like this, you could’ve as well just texted me goodbye.”

You shouldn’t have given me hopes that I was still in time of holding onto you, is what he wanted to say. But didn’t.

“I just wanted to see you for one last time…”

Back then, Jiho couldn’t control the burst of emotions he felt. His sadness mingled with the anger he felt towards himself for having been an idiot and also with the frustration of being so helpless—Hansol was slipping right through his fingers and out of his life, and he couldn’t do anything to stop him.

“That’s it, then. You can leave now. Leave and don’t think of coming back. I hope you know you’re being an asshole.”

He raised his voice more than he should have. His word choice was more aggressive than it should have. Unlike his usually composed self, this time he finally burst. His emotions burst in the worse way possible. They ended up yelling ugly things at each other; hard feelings that had been building up inside them for a long time. Jiho smashed his fist on the table before leaving behind an upset and sobbing Hansol. He shouldn’t have done that. He still feels ashamed of his shitty and immature reaction and regrets everything he did and said that day. Hansol didn’t deserve that.

Somehow, he reached the end of his Instagram pictures. They weren’t many. He remembered the boy had a habit of deleting them. He also noticed he kept only a few pictures of his last days in China and seeing him in those pictures makes his heart clench in fear again. In fear of knowing that he was close to losing him for real, forever. Those had been the worst days Jiho has even been through in his whole life and he hopes he won’t have to ever go through something like that again. At least the latest pictures make him feel a bit more reassured, for it seems that old Hansol he knew doesn’t torment Minsung like he used to do. He looks cared for and surrounded by people. Jiho can only hope for him to never be lonely and for all of those people to be with Minsung when he cannot.

A few pictures above the last ones from China is one from their debut. That one was uploaded when his departure from the group was made official. Jiho didn’t come out of his room for a whole week. In the picture, Hansol thanks everyone. Jiho clenches his fist. He should’ve thanked him the last time he saw him. He should’ve thanked him for helping him make it into ToppDogg. He should’ve thanked him for all of the good moments they shared together. He should’ve thanked him for loving him in spite of the big asshole Jiho could be at times and which he was until their last meeting. He should’ve thanked him for existing—he should’ve wished him success. Had he done that, who knows; maybe Hansol wouldn’t have been on the edge of an abyss. Had he done that, maybe he would find his username when he types it into the list of people Minsung follows.

Jiho decides to call it a night, but then he sees there is a picture of Hyosang on Minsung’s account and he clicks it almost immediately. Oh, he wished him a happy birthday. To the one who abandoned them—but didn’t break his heart or curse him out for trying to pursue his dreams—; he wished a happy birthday to him. Then he finally clicks the ‘back’ button, which closes Instagram and, instead and unknowingly, shows him the time and date: 5:24 a.m., February 3rd.

As he tries to fall asleep, he fails to fight back the tears that wet his pillow while he cannot brush off the memories of Hansol coming into his room with a big smile on his face and holding a big cake with tons of colourful candles on his hands just when the clock struck twelve o’clock. He won’t see that Hansol anymore. If he could turn back time and take seriously the three wishes Hansol insisted for him to make year after year before blowing out the candles, he would use one to wish ToppDogg to be successful and two to wish for Hansol to never leave his side.

[ahnminhyk]

okay so I'm gonna go on a rant about how wonderful and brilliant bts' music is, get ready

okay so first of all, this is my opinion. I know jackshit about music or the technical aspects of it, the only thing I'll be doing is give my thoughts on why I feel like bts a) doesn't have single bad or even sub-par song; b) probably will never have a bad or even sub-par song; and c) why they stand out from other kpop groups in so many ways

first of all, I'm gonna talk about genres. bts literally can do any musical genre outgere and succeed. I mean, boys could be yodelling for 4 minutes and it'd be amazing. why? again, not an expert, but I think it's because they know very well how to blend genres to make them work in their favour. they mix hip hop with pop with edm with fuck knows what else and make it look effortless. there are not many artists or producers who can do that. on that note, kudos to bts' production team, not just joon and yoongi and hobi, but also supreme boi, pdogg, bang PD and everyone else, they are so talented and they make the boys shine even more every time.

bts has songs for every occasion. literally. they have gritty, rough songs that go so hard you wanna punch someone in the face (i.e. cyphers, fire, mic drop). they have songs that will make you cry your eyes out (i.e. spring day, butterfly, sea). they have songs that will have you blushing for no reason and smiling like a dork because they're so cute (i.e. I like it, coffee, miss right). they have bangers that could be played in clubs all over (i.e. dope, save me, best of me). they even have songs that'll make you want to overthrow a government and personally kick oppressors to the fifth circle of hell (i.e. not today, n.o, we are bulletproof).

they are so freaking versatile it's a miracle they haven't broken off into millions of different pieces. i think part of why that is is the fact that each member brings something entirely different to the table. each of them have their own style and unique voice that makes the whole thing come together in the best way.

i’ll go on and analyse each members styles now:

rm -- okay so namjoon is probably universally known as the best rapper in the group. i don’t disagree. i’ve seen people who certainly know more about rapping than i do (which isn’t really hard but w/e) say that the way rm raps is the tightest, better than many western hip-hop artists these days. i think this is evident in the recent collab with fob where he raps in english (not saying he raps better in english; he raps amazingly in any language tbh). i think anyone who listens to that song and doesn’t know who namjoon is will think he’s a legit rapper/hip-hop artist. however, what i wanted to talk about was his rapping style from my point of view (again, just my opinion). i think the way namjoon raps is unique and different form the other members of the rap line because it’s very polished, but it still has that raw element that he refuses to shed completely. i often think of it like this: kim namjoon could be telling you to fuck off but it would take you three years to realise that’s what he meant. his rap style isn’t necessarily aggressive (compared to suga’s, for example), but it’s still kind of harsh and emotive, and i think that’s a really amazing balance. his voice is very mellow as well, like when he talks or sings, i feel like his voice just.........embraces you, in a way. it’s hard to explain. of course, there are songs where his rapping is more aggressive than others, but overall i feel like his rap style is more subtle in that sense, and that’s what makes it even more amazing

suga -- oh boy. i don’t even know where to begin. i know i said that namjoon is universally the best rapper in the group, but if i had to pick a fave out of the rap line, it’d be yoongi. why? because boy goes hard as FUCK and i freaking love it. i don’t know if you’ve listened to his mixtape (listen to it, it’s freaking amazing) but you can see what i’m about to say even more clearly on there. to me, yoongi is such an expressive and emotive rapper it blows my mind every time i see him perform. it’s the way he spits the lyrics out, it’s the way he says them almost without breathing for what seems like forever, it’s the way he always puts everything he has into what he’s singing. you can hear his heart in his rapping and to me, that’s what makes him such a fucking great rapper. i know there’s also the stuff with diction and bars and shit but i’m not getting into that because i have no idea what i’m talking about. all i know is how he makes me feel when i hear him, and what i feel is that every time he throws a verse, he does so with all of his heart, he feels everything he sings. it’s almost angry and frustrated the way he raps, like he has so much to say and not enough time, not enough breath. i can’t even put it into words properly, but if you see him perform you’ll know what i mean. if namjoon can tell you to fuck off without you realising he’s doing it, yoongi will tell it to your face and then smack you all the way there. and that’s why i love his style so much. he is shameless in it, in his anger, in his emotions, and it makes me connect with him on a whole other level.

j-hope --  ahh yes, hobi. i’ve only recently really started to appreciate hoseok’s style, and i don’t know why, past me was an idiot. at this point, i’m not sure if that rumour about him starting off as a vocalist is true, but the fact of the matter is that hoseok has something the other members of the rap line don’t show as much, and that is a level of musicality in his voice that is unlike anything i’ve ever heard in a rapper ever. i don’t really know how to explain it, but you can hear it in several bts songs. he almost like sings his rap at times. i think that’s what makes him so unique. his voice blends with the music in a way that’s almost similar to the way the vocal line’s do. i think that is such a beautiful thing to be honest. that being said, of course his rap is also super tight and in every level on par with the other two rappers. i just love how the three rappers have three very unique styles and voices and ways to rap. it brings that diversity and versatility to the group that would be hard to get if they were all sort of on the same level or had the same style

jin -- to me, jin’s voice is one of the most beautiful in the world, period. i love how it’s slightly nasal, his tone and timbre are so unlike anything i’ve ever heard. awake is one of the most beautiful songs ever to me. he has a sort of classical way about his singing that is very very nice, and that contrasts well with the other vocalists’. i’ve seen people saying that his voice is more suited for ballads and that is why he doesn’t get as many lines in the more upbeat songs. i disagree. i think the perfect example of this is his part in the ‘go go’ chorus. i just love it. his voice goes perfectly with the rhythm and melody of that song. his voice is more versatile than people give him credit for i feel. i hope that with time, we get to see more of it in more upbeat songs, but i won’t be that person that says bighit is doing him dirty bc they don’t give him more lines, i don’t wanna start that discourse on here. anyway, this all to say, jin’s voice is really beautiful and unique to me, and that allows bts songs to get yet another layer of complexity and melodic diversity. jin really contributes to it in my opinion with his timbre and higher tone.

jimin -- i don’t even know where to begin with jimin. of course, he is the king of high notes. no contest there. i just love jimin’s voice so much. i think it really gives the vocal line something extra that ends up bringing the whole thing together spectacularly. i know he is very insecure in his vocal skills, but boy can sing for shit!!!!! it’s amazing how he holds those high notes for so long. i can’t even do those notes. but isolated high notes aside, jimin has a very sweet voice. i don’t know how else to put it. his voice is just sweet. i feel like smiling every time he comes in singing in his base tone because it’s just..........so sweet. i think it goes so well with the otherwise more gritty music bts is known to do. that being said though, i LOVE when he comes out with those growls and raspy verses. i just love how versatile he can be, and i wish we could hear it more often in recorded versions, because boy goes all out in live performances. i don’t think his versatility and vocal ability is really acknowledged that much, i know he’s mainly known for his high notes and generally high voice, but he can do a lot more than that and it gives bts a certain kind of balance, in my opinion

v -- listen, whoever told kim taehyung he can’t sing in the past is a fucking moron. like, i don’t know what those people were drinking because what the heck????? this boy has one of the widest vocal ranges i’ve ever seen in my life. he is also probably the most versatile voice in bts. he can go high, he can go low, he can go raspy, he can do harmonies. he can do anything, really. and i love everything he does with his voice. i love it when he goes low and gets that sultry feel to his voice, like a jazz singer almost. i love it when he belts out high notes and holds them like they’re his bitch. i love it when he rasps out verses like he’s a fucking rock singer who’s had too much liquor before going on stage. i love it when he harmonises with literally any other members. speaking of harmonies, can we PLEASE have more jimin and tae lines where they sing together????? their voices go together SO WELL it’s insane. when they harmonise my soul legit leaves my body and ascends to the fifth dimension. tae’s voice is such a beautiful contrast and contrabalance to the other vocalists’ voices, it doesn’t matter which, because when they go higher, he can go a little lower and the result is fucking brilliant. i could talk about kim taehyung’s voice all day to be honest, but i won’t. go listen to stigma and you’ll basically know everything you need to.

jungkook -- it is amazing what this boy can do with his voice. there is a reason he is the main vocalist, and that is because his technique is fucking stellar. i’ve seen people ask why he gets more chorus lines when he’s not even the best singer, and i just get slammed because.......... what? for the record, i don’t think any of the vocalists are better than the others, they all have very unique and amazing voices that balance each other out in the best way possible. but jungkook........... i wish i knew more about the technical terms of this so i could explain it properly. one of the things that always floors me is how, in the earliest bts songs, he was 15 and 16 years old. most of the boys i knew at 15 still had their voices breaking and screeched at random fucking times. yet jk has always been steady as a rock when it comes to his vocal ability. i think he is the baseline for everyone else’s voice because he ties the harmonies together so well. he keeps the base tone going while the other members go higher and lower and bring out the other aspects of the song. however, and we all know this, when this boy goes, he fucking goes hard. his high notes are no goddamn joke. they fucking shock me every time. and the way he’s able to maintain them is flawless. i feel like i can’t even talk about his technique, i’m just not good enough. another thing i love about jk’s voice that i don’t know if many people notice is how it’s always slightly husky when he’s singing in his base tone. i don’t think i’ve ever heard a voice like that in a boy his age. his voice has something behind it that, while being extremely subtle, also makes it stand out.

okay now that that’s done, i wanna talk about content, more specifically lyrics.

now, being an i-army, and knowing almost nothing about the korean language, i don’t understand most of bts’s songs without subs or a translation. that being said, i can get the feel and vibe of a song from the very first time i listen to it. before i even looked at translations, i could tell that fire was a song about just wanting to let got for a while and do crazy shit; i could tell that i need u was about heartache and pain and a love that hurt. i could tell that butterfly was a song about loving someone and being scared they’d disappear. of course, i won’t pretend to know that that was exactly what they were about, but i could feel it when i heard them. i might’ve not known the exact way to put it in words, but the songs brought up feelings in me that matched them perfectly. i think that says enough about how my thought and effort bts puts in their songs and musical arrangements, because they know music is about more than words being sung, it’s about the feelings, it’s about what you want people to feel when they hear the song.

but about the lyrics themselves, i think bts do something not many other kpop groups (or mainstream artists in general) are able to do. of course, i know plenty of artists get political in their songs, i’m not discrediting them for it. what i am saying is that, from what i’ve seen of the kpop industry and culture, a group talking about the topics that bts bring up isn’t that common. in their songs, they’ve broached topics such as anxiety, depression, feeling like you’re set up to fail, the pressures put on teens to do well in school and go to a good uni, strict educational systems, social standards, social inequalities, rich vs. poor dichotomy, youth, the transition between teen and adult, among many others that you don’t often see addressed in such a consistent way. they’ve stayed true to what they’ve been doing since their debut, which is be a voice for young people beyond love songs. what they say resonates with people, it makes us feel understood, we see ourselves in their lyrics and music.

this brings me to the topic of music videos. now we all know that bts mv’s are a whole other level of production. but what i wanted to mention really quick is how nothing they do on those videos is random. i’m sure they have a fantastic team behind them helping with this, of course. but bts music videos always have several subliminal messages hidden under the surface. i wanna talk specifically about the hyyh series videos. those are, in my opinion, better than many oscar-nominated feature length movies. they are incredibly well thought out and aesthetically planned, as well as being so heavily meaningful and charged with narrative continuity that just leaves you speechless. not to mention the boys’ acting like wow. specifically in the i need u mv, even if the song is about love and separation, the mv goes so beyond that it leaves you wondering why they even put the song on there. it could just be a film on its own. it’s so raw and gritty and intense, charged with meaning and sensitive topics not everyone would care to address in an mv like that, for that kind of song. it sets a whole picture for the other videos, and it just leaves me so floored every time i watch it, as well as the other videos in the series, because the level of detail and planning and thought that went into that series is seriously another level entirely. i think that definitely sets them apart from anything else in the world, really, beyond kpop or music in general.

i’ll just talk about live performances really quick. the fact that people say they lip sync literally makes me want to throw a chair in their faces. in fact, i wouldn’t even be that mad if they did lip sync. i mean, with their choreo and demanding vocals, it’d be understandable. but they don’t. it’s so clear every single time they perform. they have recording to back them up and a few vocals here and there, but the core is all them. do you have any idea how hard it is to do the kind of choreo they do and deliver that level of vocals and rap? as someone who’s had to do it, i’ll tell you for a fact it is a bitch. but they do it, and they make it look effortless. they bring their all into every single performance they do. i love watching their performances. i love the energy, i feel energized after watching a video of them performing. i love their adlibs, i love how tight they are with choreo, and how wild they get when they can just walk around the stage and interact with fans. i love jimin’s shouts and growls in every song he sings. i love jk showing off his stellar vocals. i love jin showcasing his freaking amazing vocal abilities for the world to see. i love v’s raspy vocals and how they sound live with an audience. i love hobi’s energy. i love suga hopping around and spitting fire like he’s talking about the weather. i love namjoon all hyped and having the time of his life dancing with his members and the fans.

one more thing final i’ll mention, and that i think anyone who’s seen them together has noticed, is the deep connection the members have with each other. i’ve noticed that with some other groups, there tends to be sub-groups and pairs or little groups of members that are closer to each other than with everyone. i don’t see that with bts ever. ofc, every dynamic is different, but you can tell they are all family. it’s the kind of love and connection you just can’t fake. it’s the kind of love that goes beyond just being in the same group together. in my idealistic view of the world and universe, i truly do believe that bts are 7 soulmates that were lucky enough to have found each other. like, every time i think about all the things that had to happen for them to be where they are today, i’m floored. from jungkook being scouted by 6 other agencies (3 of which are the biggest idol companies in korea) and choosing small label bighit because of rm, from v only going to that audition to support his friend and not to participate himself, to jin turning down sm because he thought it was a scam, or hobi landing on bighit and not jyp when they split, or rm trading his surely brilliant academic career for music, or yoongi fighting so hard for his dream he would walk home and skip meals. these boys have such an incredible amount of dedication to music, to each other and to us that just makes me so freaking emotional. they not once have taken any of it for granted. they know what it is like to struggle for your passions. they know what it’s like to feel like you’re not good enough. you see it every time they win an award or surpass another landmark in their career. they’ve stayed humble and not once taken army for granted. it’s beautiful to see.

and that is why, in my opinion, bts are as successful and as amazing as they are. none of it is coincidence (see what i did there). it’s their hard work, it’s their insane amount of talent, it’s their combined efforts to make music no one has done before. it’s their thoughtfulness and dedication. it’s their honest to goodness genius. and maybe, i guess, a little bit of serendipity as well.