#pariah dark is still an evil asshole but he's reigning it in for the kid that beat the snot out of him

[nerdpoe]

Bart won't stop talking Wally's ear off about how he's "been adopted" by another young hero, that he "has a brother" and he's "sooooooo much cooler than you", and how that hero's dad "says he might as well have another kid so I'm ultra-adopted". Wally think's Bart's reading too far into a throwaway comment, right up until he's invited to a cookout and huh. Yup. Bart was, actually, 100% right.

Wally finds himself staring up, up, up, into the face of Pariah Fucking Dark, as the massive Tyrant of the Dead glares at him and hands him a plate with a small pile of hot dogs.

There's two mad scientists who keep asking Pariah Dark to let him test their inventions on him.

There's a God of Time sitting on a swing and watching it all with a fond smile.

There's a billionaire Wally recognizes from the magazines hiding under the picnic table, giggling as he...does something on a tablet. Wally thinks he saw the Lexcorp Logo.

He turns away and slowly stuffs a hot dog into his mouth.

The hero that adopted Bart, Phantom, is playing the strangest version of Marco Polo that Wally's ever seen with Bart and two other heroes that look like Phantom.

It's so weird because there's no water.

Irey and Jai gravitate towards them, naturally.

Iris gives him a swat for being rude and goes over to introduce herself to the Mad Scientist pair.

Linda beelines for the grill, striking up a conversation with Pariah Dark, Tyrant of the Dead. They're talking about grilling techniques.

Wally...doesn't really know what to do?

He balances Wade on his hip and just. Follows Iris.

He manages to get a vague explanation.

The Mad Scientists are Jack and Maddie Fenton, their son, Phantom, came home one day and declared that Bart was his brother. They saw nothing wrong with this.

Pariah Dark is also Phantom's father.

The crazed billionaire is his godfather.

The God of Time is sort of his grandfather but for magical legal reasons isn't if a giant floating eyeball asks.

The other two Phantoms are his siblings, but also are his clones and one of them is him from the future.

Wally just. Accepts it.

Of course Bart would get roped into this level of crazy.