#parents mistreated me is a wound that still feels a bit too fresh but has also been festering for a while. i know everyones parents fuck

[scripted-notions]

parent: shoves soap in my whole mouth for "talking back"*

parent: why can't u brush ur teeth n don't like things in ur mouth

*I to this day as a whole ass adult have no understanding of what the fuck I was ever punished for when I was punished for talking back. that's code for ur autistic and I don't understand you but that makes me feel bad so ur in trouble. btw this will forever impact ur ability to hold conversations :)

[yourgalaxy]

~FINDING HOME~ (Part 4)

Pairing: Taehyung x female O/C

Genre: Fluffyest Fluffy Fluff, a little bit of angst if you squint really hard.

Summary: After getting used to the idea of just being her and her little daughter against the world. Autumn is proven wrong once again when fate has different plans for them.

Warnings: None

Word count: 2865 

A/N: The original prompt is from @hybridfanfiction ( their prompts are the cutest, check them out!) This is my first attempt on sharing some of my work and is also my first hybrid fic. I love the reader inserts but not a fan of the Y/N type thing so feel free to just imagine your name instead if you prefer! I have material to make this a series but will leave it as a one shot for now to see if you guys like it! I totally don’t own the gifts.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language. Read at your own risk 😂

Extra A/N: I didn’t get the chance to post this last week but to compensate you guys, I’ll be posting the first part of my new Mafia Au, so watch out for it!

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

‘’ Hey, Tae’’ - Autumn came out to the back balcony where Taehyung had gone for a sunbathe after dropping Haneul off at the school. - I realize how boring it can be to stay at home for so long every day, so I was wondering if you would like to come to work with me? - The way his eyes light up and his tail started to wag was enough of an answer. - ‘’Really?!’’ - He almost fell out of the chair trying to stand when she nodded yes. - "Ok, I'm ready!" - She couldn't suppress her laugh as he took her hand, wide eyed, tail going crazy behind him, he was almost bouncing in place. - 

 ‘’ It wasn’t the plan to introduce you to the boys like this, but it might be for the better, they can get really chaotic when they get all together. Today it will just be Jin and Jimin at the store because it’s Kookie’s day off, so it shouldn’t be too crazy… Are you ok, Tae? - She could only see his profile while driving but he looked pale and really shaken. He shook his head and she decided to pull over to the side. The store was close, and she figured getting there a few minutes late was worth it if it was for Taehyung’s wellbeing. - ‘’ What’s wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?’’ - Her hand grabbed his arm in a comforting manner, unconsciously tracing circles on his skin with her thumb not really aware of the shiver that ran down his body. He cleared his throat, afraid of his voice betraying him. - 

 ‘’ I… I haven’t had many good experiences with males... I’m just a little nervous, I guess. I’m sorry’’ - Her heart went out to the ball of nerves that the boy had become, understanding right away that whatever he had gone through in the past was still very vivid in his mind, a wound that was still open and fresh. She wanted to hunt down whoever hurt him like that, because if there was something, she was sure about after the few days that Taehyung had stayed with them was that he deserved nothing but love, her instinct to put him on her pocket and protect him from the evils of the world kicking in full force. - 

 ‘’ There is nothing to be sorry about, pup. You don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. I can promise you, though, that none of my friends would ever do anything to hurt you intentionally, but I can definitely drive you back home if you don't feel ready to meet them’’ - Taehyung felt guilt wash over him. It was more than obvious that whoever these guys were, they were really important people to Autumn and he didn’t want to burden their relationship with his own personal demons. - ‘’ No, it’s ok, I.. I trust you’’ - He assured, taking her hand in his, not letting it go for the rest of the way. - 

 " LOVER BOY!!" - The sudden movement in his peripheral view, took Taehyung by surprise, with so many different flowers everywhere, there were too many scents, and it disoriented him for a second but before he could prepare himself to receive the attack Autumn had put herself in between, receiving the full force of the other boy's collision against her smaller frame with ease, as if she was used to it. The other guy didn't lose time to put his arms around her and pull her closer even though he was whining and complaining that she should have let him say hi to the newbie first. -

 This was not what Taehyung was expecting, his hands tightening into fists, and he had to bite his tongue not to let the growl vibrating on his chest break free. Human males were one thing, but a Hybrid? Why didn't Autumn mention that one of her dear friends was a Hybrid? And for how long would he have to watch them embrace each other?  He decided to clear his throat to catch their attention. Autumn immediately let go of the other boy, a big smile adorning her face as she looked his way. Somehow it eased Taehyung's heart.  

 -"Tae, meet Jimin. Minnie, this is Taehyung" - She introduced them and even when Taehyung tried to keep his distance by bowing politely, Jimin was too excited to let it go like that and soon, ignoring autumn’s warning, was hugging the taller man so tight that Taehyung was afraid he would pass out because his blood wasn't circulating properly. He had never met a feline hybrid so affectionate, if it wasn't for the pointy ears and his scent, he would had guessed that he was indeed a canine hybrid instead. -

  "Jimin, that’s enough bud, you will suffocate the kid’’ - Another person came into the room and this time Taehyung was well aware of the other man and his every move. Jimin finally let go of him with an apologetic smile, and even though he still didn’t trust him, he was way more comfortable with the Hybrid than with the newcomer - ‘’Hey there, my name is SeokJin, but you can call me Jin!’’ - The man extended a hand in Taehyung’s direction. He was a little bit taller than himself but instead of the intimidating aura that Taehyung would expect to come from him, he had a really friendly demeanor and a sweet scent. But Taehyung knew better than to carelessly trust people. He bowed politely murmuring a nice to meet you under his breath. Jin gave Autumn a knowing look and a soft smile when she mouthed an apology. - "Well, Taehyung, welcome to our humble happiness factory!!"

 "Come, Tae, let me show you around, I can teach you how to make an arrangement if you want!" - His Tail was hard to see at the speed it was wagging. Jin and Jimin looked at each other with knowing smiles plastered on their faces - 

 " So, is Jin....Jimin's sponsor? " - Taehyung whispered as he tried to emulate the little arrangement that Autumn had shown him how to make. She couldn't help but laugh a little at his cuteness, he seemed really apprehensive about her friends, but it was obvious that he was also curious even if he tried to act cool- " So Jimin is a citizen. He is Jungkook's adoptive brother, his parents worked on the citizenship as soon as he turned 18."

 " So, he is like... on his own now?" - This was the first time Taehyung met an independent Hybrid in real life and his mind was immediately filled with questions - " Mm, yes and no. He decided to move with Jungkook when he moved to the city around 5 years ago, Jimin doesn't have to live with him but he wants to, so they are roommates now! Which I'm really grateful for, I have been friends with both of them ever since" - 

 The way Autumn explained it made it sound so simple and normal but for Taehyung it was such a wonder. To think that there were hybrids out there that truly had the chance to live their lives in whatever way they wanted, blew his mind. Then he started to think about the fact that Jimin decided to just stay right where he was at, he wondered what he would do if he was in his place, he had imagined it many times before, that one day he would be free and he would travel the world and make friends everywhere, he wouldn't have to worry about anything more than his own happiness but now when he tried to imagine the scenes that gave him so much hope and comfort before, they didn't seem so bright and happy anymore. He wondered if we would really be able to leave Autumn and Haneul behind and move on with his life? 

 No, he couldn't… And the realization scared him.

 "Woah!! Tae, you are a natural!!" -Autumn was too busy admiring the arrangement that he had just finished fixing to notice the way Taehyung was looking at her, the soft smile that draw itself across his lips or the way his eyes were shining with adoration. If they were to let him, Taehyung felt like he would be the happiest if he could just stay with Autumn and Haneul for the rest of his life.

 … 

 Today was the day when it would finally become official. Taehyung was going to be no longer an undocumented stray, no one could mistreat him after today and Autumn couldn't be more relieved and happier about it.

 "Are you ok, Tata?" - Haneul's worried tone alarmed Autumn out of her thoughts. Leaving the dishes for another time, she made her way to the living room, approaching Taehyung's sitting form from behind. A hand immediately finding place on his head, she let her fingers massage the base of his fluffy ears out of habit, because she knows that it always calmed him down to be petted. Taehyung was afraid his heart would come out of his chest at this pace. - "Is anything wrong, puppy?"

 " No, I was just thinking. I'm totally fine!" - He sent both of them the best smile he could muster. Praying that none of them could figure out his real feelings at the moment. He didn't want to worry them- "Tata, you are my favorite friend ever!" - Haneul seemed to feel his distress, nevertheless. She hugged him tightly and it just melted both his and Autumn's hearts. - "Hey little love bug! I thought I was your favorite ever! - The living room soon became a battlefield, a tickling battle full of loud bumming laughs and sweet endeared giggles- 

 Haneul was fast asleep and they were peacefully watching a movie when a knock on the door burst their happy bubble. Taehyung could feel his whole-body tense even before Autumn opened the door, greeting a tall, serious looking man. - Hello! Namjoon, right? Oh, are you ok? - Namjoon went from a professional business looking man to a blushing mess in a second, he had managed to stumble upon thin air and almost fall in the process. Autumn almost cooed at the dimples that appeared with the sheepish smile that he dedicated her way. Taehyung felt like snarling at him. - Hello, Miss Kim, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Yoongi and Hobi talk a lot about you, haha. - He extended his hand but before she could take it there was a body between them. For a second she wondered if she was imagining it, she had never heard Taehyung growling, but the aggression she could hear in the growl startled her. He didn't even flinch to acknowledge the way she lightly pulled his arm to try to stop him. - " Taehyung! Stop that. Namjoon is our guest!"

 "Oh, don't worry, I actually overstepped his boundaries. It's completely normal for hybrids to want to protect their families from any kind of possible thread, and I'm a complete stranger in his territory. I'm sorry, Taehyung-ssi!" - Namjoon stepped back, giving the anxious hybrid some space. Taehyung visibly relaxed as he did so. - "It's a pleasure to meet you, Taehyung-ssi!

 "Nice to meet you too…" - Taehyung reluctantly responded after Autumn nudged him from behind. - "Well, shall we get into business? " - Taehyung really didn't like Namjoon's smile- 

 " Ah, I see, so the process has different stages, I guess I didn't know that… " - Autumn couldn't hide her excitement, the sponsorship stages were designed to provide the hybrids with gradual freedom until they reached their full independence. 

 With this process, Taehyung would be able to get a job right away, he would get his probational ID by the end of the 1st year and by the end of the second year he would even be able to move on his own, and even though the idea squished her heart in an uncomfortable way, Autumn was really happy with the prospect of giving Taehyung the opportunity to freely live his own life. 

 "What do you think, Tae? Isn't this… Taehyung, what's wrong? Hey, puppy, why are you crying? - Before she could do much, Taehyung dashed out of the scene, closing the door of his from behind him. - " I'm sorry, Namjoon. I think we will have to do this another time..." - He just sent a sad smile her way. - " I hope he is ok, let me know if you would prefer for me to just send the final paperwork through mail, I'll make sure that everything is cleared up so that whenever you decide to sign, it will all be ready." 

 "Thank you so much, Namjoon. I really appreciate it!" - She said bye to him after he assured that he was just doing his work. Once she closed the door, a dread feeling washed over her. She hated seeing the people that she loved having a hard time and in the short time she had known him, the dog hybrid had claimed a place in her heart. She took a deep breath before walking towards Taehyung's room- " Hey pup, can I come in?"... Taehyung, I'm really… I'm really worried, honey boy, can you please let me in?" -

  After a few minutes of dead silence, Autumn was about to give up and just wait until he decided to come out on his own, when the door opened, and she was engulfed by a taller form. Taehyung was sobbing on her shoulder, trying to calm himself down by subtly breathing in her scent. She dragged herself and the boy to sit on the ground, giving him the opportunity to cuddle closer to her. She quietly petted his ears and traced random forms on his back, waiting for him to calm down. 

 After a while she unconsciously started humming a song that he didn't recognize, a song that she sang to Haneul every time she had a nightmare or was scared about something, and at that moment, with her warmth surrounding him and her sweet voice filling the silence that threatened with driving him crazy, Taehyung felt at home for the first time in his life. He felt safe and wanted, he felt like he belonged…

 " I'm not really sure about what happened, but I just want you to know that you are not alone anymore Taehyung. You are part of this family and whatever life throws at you from now on, we face it together, there is no other way around...You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable sharing but if there is anything I can do to make it better, I need you to let me know" - Her soft voice came to him as a healing balm, she wasn’t mad at him like he thought she should of have after the way he acted, he could just sense worry and tenderness in her tone. His chest filled with love and warmth as he listened, wanting to stay like that forever. She patiently waited for him. - 

 " What would happen if I don't want to leave after the three years are up? Would you don't want me anymore after I become a citizen?" - She almost cried at how fragile and broken he sounded, he was sincerely afraid of them just leaving him behind and she felt guilty for not noticing how much the whole idea of the sponsorship process was affecting him. He had been quieter than usual for the past few days, but she downplayed it as just him being in the process of getting used to his new environment. - ‘’ Will I have to leave?’’

  ‘’ Oh, my sweet puppy’’ - She hugged him closer and he let out a content sight snuggling the side of her neck, discreetly scenting her. - ‘’ I don’t know everything you have gone through…’’ - At the mention of the past she immediately could feel the way his muscles tensed under her touch, so she did her best to ease him down, petting his ears always seemed to do the trick.- ‘’And you surely don’t have to share, but I hope we can replace those memories with new ones, ones full of smiles and lots of love, to the point that you can confidently believe that there is no place where you belong more than here with us… You will be able to decide, Taehyung, it will always be your choice. But know that we will always want you home.’’ - This time Taehyung started crying for a completely different reason. -

 ‘’ Can we have some ice cream?’’ - He asked in between sniffles after a few minutes of silence and Autumn couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. And as she prepares three bowls of ice cream, she sent a message to Namjoon, asking him to email the paperwork for them to sign. -

[sae-bae-ran]

-Hello i want to request! RFA+Sae+V -Can you write about MC who has trust issues and haven't told them any kind of secret or family problem even tho they had been dating for a year.She just can't trust anyone and they realised they don't know anything other then ordinary things. *sorry for grammar mistakes >.

Hi! ^^ Thanks for the request! I hope you like what I wrote! You have a good day too, nonny!

Masterlist || Ko-fi

RFA + Saeran reacting to an MC who has trust issues

Hyun Ryu // Zen

It wouldn’t be a lie if he said this whole year you’ve been dating has been the happiest of his life. Not only did he find the perfect girl but it also seems like you are his lucky charm, judging by all the awesome roles he’s been getting ever since he met you.

Everything seems to be perfect…

Except one thing.

He barely knows anything about your family and past other than the most ordinary things, like your mom’s name for example.

It’s perfectly okay if you don’t want to get into too many details and he’d completely understand if you’re not on good terms with your family, but deep down he fears you don’t trust him enough to talk to him about it.

One evening right after dinner, you lie on the couch, legs tangled as he peppers your face with kisses, the TV long forgotten.

“Babe,” he’s hesitant at first but your curious eyes and the small smile on your lips give him enough courage to continue. “I understand if something happened and it made you lose your trust in people. It makes me angry, it really does, but I can’t fix that.”

Brows furrowed, you lower your head, unsure what to say. His fingers are gentle as he hooks them under your chin, lifting it up so you can look him in the eyes. “What I can do is show you that I’m different. You can trust me, princess, and I’m gonna prove it to you even if it’s the last thing I do.”

Yoosung

His curious nature made him ask all the question he could think of about you once he felt comfortable enough in your company. Which, in all honestly, wasn’t too long after you two started dating.

It didn’t bug him at first when you politely refused to answer his questions about your past. He figured you hadn’t opened up to him yet, so he gave you more time to do so.

Yet, after a year of dating nothing has changed. As much as he tries not to let it get the better of him, he can’t help but feel a bit hurt.

Lying awake in bed one night, he comes to the conclusion that keeping quiet about the problem would only mean he’s the same as the people who betrayed your trust in the past.

Gently tugging at your shirt, he wakes you up, eager to talk to you. Your slight annoyance doesn’t dissuade him and he makes you turn around to face him, your hands in his as he sits propped on one elbow.

“MC, have you watched Cinderella?” You look at him, eyes wide in surprise at his absolutely random question.

He sees this even in the dimly lit room, so he wastes no time in giving you an explanation. “One of the characters there said ‘Even miracles take a little time’ or something along those lines…”

Bright red creeps up his cheeks and he’s grateful you don’t seem to have noticed it. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been patient with you and I will keep that up. Trust is not something you gain overnight and I get that it’s even harder for you.”

You pull him towards you in a tight embrace, making his breath hitch in his throat. “Thanks, Yoosung. Let’s take it slow.”

Jaehee

When it comes to your relationship, Jaehee and you have always taken your time with getting to know each other, your quirks, and your habits.

That’s why it takes her quite a while to notice taking your time with opening up runs deep.

She doesn’t hesitate to raise the question once she realizes there’s a problem, but she’s very careful to approach the subject since she doesn’t want to hurt you or bring back bad memories.

“MC, I realize this might be a sensitive topic, but I’d like you to know I will always be here for you.” Her hand slowly glides on the leather couch until it reaches yours. Once it does, she lets the tips of her fingers intertwine with yours, a gesture so endearing it brings a small smile to your face.

“I can’t fix you and I can’t change the past, although I wish I could. We can seek professional help if you’re willing to commit to it. Whatever your choice is, I will stay by your side and support you.”

Tears gather in your eyes at her words. “No one has ever treated me so kindly, Jaehee.” You pull her into a gentle embrace that she returns immediately. “Let’s work on this together.”

Jumin

Falling for you was easy for Jumin. You made it easy, with your bright smile, kind heart, warmth, and your accepting and understanding nature.

So even though he’s head over heels for you even a year later, he can’t help but feel a bit confused, hurt, and even helpless.

It’s not hard for him to figure out someone hurt you deeply in the past, so much so that the consequences have taken roots in your heart, leaving you unable to fully trust your partner again.

The thought of you being hurt makes him angry, but even more so baffles him. Who would be so cruel to prey on an angel like you?

He watches you from his comfortable position on the couch, his head in your lap, your fingers running through his hair. Your eyes are as bright as ever, but there’s an underlying sadness in them that he wants to snatch away and throw it in a dungeon it won’t ever be able to escape.

Slowly, he reaches his hand towards your face, his fingers gentle as they caress your soft skin. You close your eyes, letting your body and mind get completely absorbed in his touch.

“I love you, MC. I can tell you have gone through some hardships in the past.“ You open your eyes, but refuse to meet his gaze. Memories of past abuse flood your mind and threaten to trap you in their darkness, but there’s persistent light, albeit faint, that stops them from doing so.

“I know you have been mistreated in the past and I understand why you find it hard to move on. I want to help you, my love. I will shower you with endless love and affection in the hopes that one day you will find it in your heart to truly trust me. Even if it takes years, I will not leave your side.”

707 // Luciel // Saeyoung

He knows. Oh, he knows.

The pain you went through. The mental abuse. The way you were treated like an object rather than a person. He knows. And he hates that this happened to you.

Your ex promised you the world, then went ahead and lied to you, cheated on you, and then came back to you with a fake smile and another series of promises that they never intended to fulfill.

It wouldn’t be a lie if Saeyoung said he wants to make that person pay for what they did to you. He wants to drag them through hell and then back again, just so they could feel the same pain you did.

Yet, he knows he can’t do that. He has another top priority now and that is proving to you he’s not the same as that sorry excuse of a human being.

Saeyoung regrets pushing you away in the early stages of your relationship. He had pure, but badly executed intentions. So now, despite occasionally doubting that he’s good enough for you, he’s dead set on showing you his love is genuine.

Your hand in his, you sit on the hood of one of his cars, admiring the otherworldly beauty of the countless stars in the night sky. You feel his grip on your hand tightening, so you turn around to look at him, a trail of tears on his cheek faintly glowing in the dim light.

“I love you. I’ll keep on loving you forever if you let me, MC. Even long after I’m gone from this world, I’ll still love you. I hope one day you can believe that. I’ll wait patiently, so take your time, okay?”

Ray // Unknown // Saeran

He’s had his fair share of his trust getting trampled on, so he’s just as cautious towards other people as you are. Sometimes even more so.

Yet, he’s not like that when he’s with you.

You managed to gain his trust fairly quickly, showing him a part of life that he always craved for. Not only are you his first and only love, but you’re also his best friend.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case for you, too.

Even after a year of dating, he knows practically nothing about your past.

The bright man he is, he quickly comes to a realization that infuriates him as much as it scares him. Someone hurt you and the wound they left behind hasn’t healed yet, rendering you unable to fully trust anyone.

Saeran respects your choice to keep things to yourself, but he’d be damned if he let your wound unattended. Besides, even though he doesn’t want to admit it, deep inside he knows that not taking any action would cause you two to fall apart in the long term.

Making breakfast with you is one of his favorite things. Sleep still evident on both yours and his face, you two pace around the kitchen, trying not to break the eggs before they get to the pan.

“MC…” He’s hesitant, but he knows he has to say this and he has to say it before it’s too late.

“Sometimes I’m scared… Scared that this all might be a dream that will disappear when I least expect it. And I can tell you’re scared as well, perhaps for different reasons…”

He takes one egg from the pan and carefully places it in the middle of the vegetables in your plate. “But I know we can get through this.” Pausing for a second, he looks up to meet your eyes. “Together.”

Jihyun Kim // V

Having gone through an unhealthy relationship before, he knows it’s hard to let people in again after your trust has been betrayed in the past.

That’s why he’s patient with you.

He’s okay with you taking your time with opening up about your childhood, your family, and the issues you have with your parents and siblings, but he’s not okay with you keeping secrets that concern your relationship.

Of course, he wouldn’t make a problem of it, but rather tell you why it’s something that you two need to discuss.

“It’s okay to be scared, MC. I am, too.”

The smile on his face is comforting, soothing the pain your fresh wounds cause you. His words hit home, so you feel yourself willing to give this a try.

If he can confront his fears, so can you. If he’s able to find it in himself to trust you, then so can you. You’re not gonna let your fears control you and possibly ruin the most harmonious and healthy relationship you’ve ever had.

“I will not hurt you, MC. I’ve learned a lot and this time.. I want to do things right.“

[drink-n-watch]

So far I’ve managed to stay pretty far away from Neon Genesis Evangelion on this blog. I’ve mentioned it in passing but I’ve yet to dedicate a single post to any of its many themes, characters or legacies. Love it or hate it, you cannot deny that the series has had an important impact on the anime industry and its perception internationally. As far as ambassadors go, you can do worse.

The fact is that even though I remember it astonishingly well, I haven’t watched NGE in over a decade. I don’t think I’m quite up to reviewing it without a refresher. This is a weird way to start a post. Telling you I’m inept to write it. Actually I start a lot of my posts this way…. Readers are beginning to make fun of me. You guys are patient! Oh Also SPOILERS for a decades old super popular show!

It’s all good folks. This isn’t really a post about NGE. I actually wanted to have a little chat about the inherent narrative problem of clones. To this end I’m going to choose one of anime’s best known representations, Rei Ayanami.

Do you like Rei? I do. Stoic characters have a soft spot in my heart. Besides, in a series like Neon Genesis Evangelion, where everyone is more or less a walking talking nervous breakdown, a calm and quiet character is not only a breath of fresh air, but a necessity. I remember when I first watched the series (so young and fresh), I kept thinking that Shinji should just go for Rei instead. Or better yet, the show should push the other characters to the background and just concentrate on Rei’s story. Considering the reveals later on, solution 2 quickly became my favorite.

or we can petition to get this show made! by Hayama Yuujirou

Unfortunately, neither was ever a real option. Because Rei was never a real person so she can’t be an actual character. That’s the clone dilemma (that was going to be my post title but spoilers!). In order for imaginary conflicts to mean anything, and the audience to get invested in them, there need to be some stakes. Consequences that stick. Or else, why bother. But in most stories, clones are somewhat impervious to consequences. The only reason to make them a clone in the first place is to be able to play with the idea of copies and dispensability.

Clones don’t matter. Regardless of how lovingly the narrative develops them, in the end they are an easily replaceable commodity. If one breaks, heck even if one is too sad or is going through a rough puberty or something, you can just throw it out and pop in a fresh new one into your plot. Sure your audience may get a bit bummed out but they’ll get over it. Clones aren’t special, they’re literally identical to someone else. And that’s why, they can’t be your main character. The audience will never seen themselves in them. No one *wants* to be the copy.

I wanted to be Rei (Chenbo)

From a narrative standpoint, clones bring up a lot of similar problems as time travel. Actions and consequences get trivialized due to lack of permanence. In order for viewers to get really invested in the story, without feeling cheated, you need to get creative with your outcomes and structure. Or you need to use the device sparingly. You need to really create an amazing character, or give up and acknowledge it’s just a prop.

As such, that’s what clones often become. Plot devices rather than characters. A certain Magical Index can afford to violently kill off armies of Misakas while remaining generally bloodless otherwise because it doesn’t count as long as there is at least one  more Misaka left standing. It’s a cheat you see. The show is now gritty but doesn’t have to worry about alienating more sensitive viewers.

You can write stories that are cruel to your clone characters while still passing off as generally harmless and even happy in tone.

it’s telling how often Rei is illustrated as wounded (by usually ecchi DanteWontDie)

As for Rei herself. I am not so deluded as to call Neon Genesis Evangelion a happy show by any stretch of the word. However, if you take the original series ending as canon (which I do), it is surprisingly hopeful. Those characters went through figurative hell in order to learn something from the journey and came out the other side better and stronger for it. Shinji started coming to grips with profound insecurity and guilt caused by his abusively neglectful father. Asuka finally has a chance to start putting behind her the trauma of a devastating childhood and mentally unstable mother. (Parents…am I right?). Humanity as a whole is given a second chance….

And poor little not a real girl Rei gets to watch. Rei endured the hardships of piloting an Eva longer than anyone. She didn’t have the benefit of a parental figure to fall back on like Misato (flawed but comforting). Rei was expected to shoulder the burden alone without so much as a helpless friend to confide in. It’s a lot to ask. You would think she would be particularly rewarded.

https://www.zerochan.net/Dcchris

https://www.zerochan.net/wlop

https://www.zerochan.net/Bati15

https://www.zerochan.net/Flyco_

Of all the unfortunate souls trapped in the end of world nightmare that is Neon Genesis Evangelion,  no one suffered greater psychological or physical trauma than Rei. She’s the only one of the main cast that actually died. And what does she have to show for it? An extremely creepy and uncomfortable relationship with her only child and estranged husband? That’s about it. Rei doesn’t even get the benefit of personal growth.

And of all the very many things fans of the franchise got extremely mad about, her mistreatment wasn’t even a consideration. Because clones don’t matter…

I disagree. It’s time we started respecting imaginary lives even if they are visually similar. I mean all the sailor scouts are clearly clones wearing different wigs. We care about them. Clones do matter and so did Rei.

The Rei Ayanami Dilema So far I've managed to stay pretty far away from Neon Genesis Evangelion on this blog. I've mentioned it in passing but I've yet to dedicate a single post to any of its many themes, characters or legacies.