#parasocially in love w me…..
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tennis
#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#eyestrain#?#i like shapes and colors AND patterns#fun combinations of all of those things#anyway i feel like i don’t talk in the tags on this blog as much as i used to. i need to do that more how else will i make more ppl#parasocially in love w me…..#so hmm. i graduate in less than a month which is exciting bc school sucks ass and i want to be done w it forever (until i decide i want#to go for a masters that is T_T) and have u guys heard abt the mcrtour? making mefeel fucking craaazyyyyyy yes i’m gonna try for#tickets. and perhaps even visit some beloved mutuals in the process. and fool that i am i never finished my last scarf but am wanting#to start a new one but this one is for someone so perhaps i will have more motivation to like. actually finish it lol. knitting btw. i am#not very good at it but it is a good skill to have and crocheting is my mother’s thing and i like the look of knit better. i got yarn the#other day and i was like ough am i remembering their favorite color correctly but if not i can just die forever or smth. i’m not sure#what pattern i wanna do or if i want to add a second color or anything but like i have a small collection of yarn that i got when it was#on sale like crazy so i’m sure i can find smth that will complement my base color if need be#okay i’m done goodbye
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Gem, very earnestly to Imp and Skizz: You guys are my favourite.
#a quote#gigs phasmo#geminitay#this just made me smile#gem really has been an impulse fan since it feels like the very beginning. or at least a while. and I love her about it#her talking about watching impulse's videos when he tried to show her something in season 9. saying she already knew#and her talking about having imp and skizz's podcast on in the background all day so when she joins them for phasmo it really feels like#they've been hanging out for ages#I don't understand how anyone can't adore gem. I'm not gonna get too parasocial bc I obviously don't know her but like.#from an outside perspective. she's fantastic. and also hilarious so there's that too#anyway this was a very self-indulgent quote (partially bc I'm not really in the mood to go back through vods so I'm running out of drafts)#it's also from impulse's vod 'perfect insanity games or bust! (phasmo w/ friends) timestamp ~1:34:30#mod rhys
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He’s still doing it btw!!
#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#brennan lee mulligan#I love that man (parasocial)#seeing adults in successful creative careers exhibiting neurodivergent traits makes me so happy#tumblr didn’t let me post the clip in a reblog so new post w the old one linked it is ig🤷
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i realised i never rly said anything abt going on a Real Break lol sorry- but yea im not on tumblr for rn if i dont respond to anything thats why !
#couple things i caught a glimpse of..#u guys r always welcome to add onto my stuff#and always welcome to take my prompts and write stuff w them#unless i named the characters its free game lol#bc if i name them then... then theyre my babies from then on sorry#but yeah#and uhhh i wanted to say smth else too but forgot#idk keep tagging me in stuff i'll catch up at some point#i just need to Not be here for a bit lol#my queue is still going! and it will continue for.... a few more days i think idk when itll run out#so this post will likely get a little buried#but yea#happy holidays if im not back by then#i'll def be back on new years babey i must celebrate my bday on tumblr w my parasocial friends /j#anyway bye love u guys#irlshaped
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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I failed puffmonth sorgy 😔
#its a mix of both procrastination and laack of inspiration#to be fair to myself its been a bit of a road bump when im not sure if the stuff i draw would be something puffy herself would like#I've long since been v disconnected w her streams#and I've only recently started watching her again#but shes busy! and she streams midnight to early morning my time#things have been tough for her so i wanted to draw stuff that shed smile at. and w all the stuff about leaving the past behind i kinda got#worried id just be bringing back bad memories at some point :(#i still like her lil sheepie character and im sure she still holds some fondness for her too#but its prolly the best if i just draw her in my own time and also actually only watch puffy the streamer in my own time too#maybe monthly puffy drawings? maybe ....#thank you to whoever stuck around#i hope ur giving the capn some love too! i think shes been haaving a tough week. so im. sending my parasocial love brain waves to make her#feel better#join me#woooooo~~~~~~~~
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do you know how much i'd kill to insert myself into cookingracha (chan, lee know, seungmin)..
#desperately tries to not get parasocial about it#its honestly more just craving that domesticity w good friends#i love the cooking parts of their videos sm.. i always come back to them#ugh the jeju cooking vid makes me SICK#that tired vibe and everyones participating in cooking. some are sleeping. others are sitting by and talking#vom
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if i was delusional enough to spend real money on something like bubble and then doubley delusional enough to spend real money to personally send idols messaged on there, the only thing i would do is send lee know cat videos 🤷♀️
#like thats about as delulu as i get#i see a specific kind of cat video and will be like#damn minho would probably love that shit#but thats it#you couldnt catch me dead spending money on an app like that#not to knock people that do i just am not feeding into parasocial delusions#i get its a good money grab off the delusional but not me i aint falling for it#skz#stray kids#i just be wanting to be besties w everyonr smh
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my askbox and notifs are always so full of awesome people i love my awesome followers theyre so awesome
#sometimes i think i have a parasocial relationship with some of my followers till i remember they literally follow me#and not the other way around lol#anyways i just love my followers and people that interact w my posts its so fun in my inbox all day yayy woohoo ^_^#ps talks
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btw peter doherty i love you so much
#if that wasn't clear to anyone#there's very few people i feel so connected to#parasocial friendships for the win i guess#but how crazy and how lucky to have seen the libertines play twice. i used to think hmm maybe i should go see someone else instead of#them for the 2nd time because i never had enough money for anything... now i don't know when/if live music will ever be accessible to#me again and i feel so happy to have had that special experience alongside the person i know thanks to their music and whom i love the most#this is such a convoluted bs sentence#but im overcome with many an emotion so please 🐻 w me#//
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erik is my boyfriend now it would seem
#confirmed 👍🏼#rlly weird to say i feel like at heart i'm a single girl i'm a loner yk. but it's like welllll. i like him.... so...#i will try not to like wax poetic but what i will say. is with the distance and everything this is probably the most difficult#relationship situation i have ever been in. but it feels easier w him than it ever has with anyone else. soooo like. whatever....#also my apologies if anyone was madly in parasocial love w me it's not me it's u etc.#wait that's wrong. i'm not writing that tag again but ykwim 👍🏼#anyway peace and love everyone i'm v happy:) i was sad abt it as it started developing honestly bc i was like. it's DOOMED but i think#regardless of how difficult it may be i'm glad it's happening yk like it's worth it
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btw in case you were wondering my response to like. everything involving the fnaf movie is just "MATTHEW LILLARD SWEEP"
#🐰 v.txt#love matthew lillard so much he is like a friend to me (joking. i promise. i'm not actually in a parasocial relationship w him.)
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BMTH twitter scares me so much all i do is lurk but the stuff i hear is so absurd its like good lord you people are unwell in the worst ways
#(thinspo? fucking thinspo of them? are you guys unwell in the head?)#(like its not even funny discourse its just racism and unhealthy parasocial relationships w real ppl.)#(like can you guys be normal! for five seconds!)#bmth#its loving bmth hours#bring me the horizon
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idk if i have any noah kahan moots on here but OUR BOY IS PLAYING SNL HOLY SHIT
#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF HIM#my parasocial relationship w that man is so unhealthy but he means so much to me fr#ANYWAY
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i love being a fake fan i still haven’t watched s&b but i have seen literally every single cast interview and i think everybody should clap for a little crows spinoff so frederick james carter can stay employed or else ill burn down the basement that they run n*tflix in 🤗
#qq#i know i am losing the war on parasociality!#but the cast is soooo charismatic pls I wanna be friends with all of them and i specifically want to make out w/ nina’s actress#i did watch all the scenes w/ kaz inej n nina#ish. or what was available on youtube#in my defense i dont have any of those damn streaming subscriptions!#i actually factually have a crush on daniella’s laugh some1 cast me as another asian love triangle threat to these messy whites!#or lemme replace tolya i can sell the poetry wannabe besties w/ kaz while terrorizing him by flirting w/ his crush better#the intellectuals in the writing room for this season were fighting for their lives but i respect the battles they picked#(making kaz a poetry reader and adding a kanej love triangle)#i hope jesper n wylan break up#soc
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#listen I know this is insane and parasocial and crazy#right?#I’m aware I’m in the wrong here#but#I’ve loved Taylor swift since I was like ten years old#and during her 1989 era she did an interview where she said if calories didn’t count she’d eat chicken tenders#years later she came out and said that during that time in her life she was struggling with ED and was miserable#and was recovering#and has been open about the fact that she’s continued to struggle but is choosing to heal#and she’s been like one of the only public figures to actually talk about ed in a way that actually meant anything to me#and it’s not my business it doesn’t matter ok it doesn’t fucking matter and I wouldn’t say this to her or anyone or w ever#but she was just at a football game eating chicken tenders#and man#it’s not about me it’s not my business and doesn’t effect me in ANY way#but GOD I wanted to cry#bc I feel like sometimes it’s not ever worth it and you never really recover and no matter how hard you try#recovery is unobtainable in any permanent way and you can be clean for days or weeks or months or YEARS#but it never really goes away not really you just kinda have to decide one day that healing is worth more now than how painful#and difficult and humiliating recovering is#and MAN it’s NOT about me and I shouldn’t care about what a billionaire is eating for lunch because it doesn’t effect me#and it’s invasive and parasocial and kinda gross to even know that shit about her#but god idk why her stupid chicken tenders and semingly ranch are making me cry#I hope she loved her chicken tenders I hope they were amazing I hope she didn’t even think twice about eating them#but if she did - because I feel like I always will- I’m glad she chose to get them anyway#it’s so hard to explain bc it feels so stupid lol#fuckin ranch too goddamn lol
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