#paleo content warnings
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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago
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jwz.org is now 25
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https://www.jwz.org/blog/2023/08/jwz-org-is-now-25/
[Image ID: 
An NCSA Mosiac dialog box reading
BEWARE: Despite our best and most strenuous Intentions to the contrary, absolutely anything could be on the other end of this hyperlink, including -- quite possibly -- pornography. or even nudity. 
NCSA disclaims all responsibility regarding your emotional and mental health and specifically all responsibility for effects of viewing salacious material via Mosaic. 
With that In mind, are you *sure* you want to follow this hyperIink??? 
Yup, sure, really. 
Ack, nol Get me outta here.! ]
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moorheadthanyoucanhandle · 14 days ago
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DINO DIRECTION HOME
Now in theaters:
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Jurassic World: Rebirth--Dinosaurs, it turns out, are soooo '90s these days. Having been revived by cloning in 1993's Jurassic Park and eventually loosed on the modern world throughout the sequels, they have become public hazards and nuisances. Worse yet--by Hollywood standards--they've lost their commercial appeal; they've become so commonplace that people are bored with them, and museums are packing up their skeletons.
In this latest, a pharmaceutical company nonetheless sees potential in the beasts to create a medicine that will end heart disease. An exec (Rupert Friend), who is far too handsome not to be rotten, hires a team of soldiers of fortune led by Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali, along with a mild-mannered paleontologist (Jonathan Bailey), to travel to an equatorial area where the creatures still thrive. The mission is to collect blood samples from three of the most massive prehistoric reptiles. First up is the marine Mosasaur, then, on a island, the towering sauropod Titanosaurus, and finally the airplane-sized pterosaur Quetzalcoatlus.
This allows for three big showcase scenes, with many side action sequences. A family unwisely cruising through the area on a yacht--Dad, two daughters, and elder daughter's irritating boyfriend--ends up joining the expedition as well. Maybe the best episode in the movie involves this lot encountering a T-Rex who, having just woken up from a rather luxurious nappy-time alongside a river, chases them down the rapids, grabbing at them as if bobbing for apples.
As usual when reviewing a movie in the Jurassic franchise, or indeed any movie with significant dinosaur content, I feel the need to add a disclaimer: I'm a lifelong sucker for dinosaurs. Any movie with prehistoric creatures in it starts at an advantage with me, just as any movie about, say, auto racing starts at a disadvantage with me.
As objectively as possible, though, I can say that the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies consistently offer good summer blockbuster value, with high-end actors and high-end production values--underwritten, no doubt, with lots and lots of blatant product placement--and dialogue that isn't too much of an embarrassment. Most importantly, they get the dinosaurs right, with seamless special effects and imaginative, sometimes crazy set piece sequences.
Directed by Gareth Edwards from a script credited to David Koepp, who has done tidier work, Rebirth may be the corniest of the series to date, and the least plausible-seeming. The finale, which involves a gargantuan mutant horror and other hideous dino-hybrids, feels like something from another movie, and it's slightly off-key. But overall, the movie is still a hearty and entertaining helping of paleo-action.
Be warned, though: your hackles may raise a bit when the younger daughter befriends a cute little baby dinosaur; the series, you realize, has finally knuckled under and had its Ewok moment. But it isn't really much of a drag on the film, any more than the clockwork owl was on the original Clash of the Titans. It has the feel, rightly or not, of a marketable element imposed on the movie from above. The filmmakers seem to spend as little screen time as they can get away with on the creature, and it's easy to ignore. Besides, the kid names the baby "Delores," which somehow is, if nothing else, a really good name for a dinosaur.
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yourlocalgremlin96024 · 2 years ago
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INTRODUCTION!!!
Ah! Scary! I'm introducing myself! Anyway, Hello! I'm Grem, welcome to this Cave that I call my blog. I probably won't be posting much fandom content rn due to college work, but I'll probably post some college work cuz, eh, why not.
Anyway enough of the random shit, let's get to the nitty gritty stuff about me and this cave and its contents.
Info!
Name: Grem/Gremlin
Pronouns: surprise me! Idc what you use!
Age: 18
Artist status(?): Hobbiest/Education
⚠️ BLOG WARNINGS⚠️
THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT I MAY POST THINGS WITH THE FOLLOWING CONTENT/THEMES/IMAGERY! BARE IN MIND THIS LIST MAY BE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!
Light/(rarely) Heavy Gore.
Body Horror/Horror in general.
Substance use (Alcohol and Drugs).
Suggestive jokes.
(Artistic) Nudity.
Mental health issues/struggles.
Eyestrain.
If I post anything involving ANY of these subjects/themes/content, they will be tagged accordingly, (and if needed) will have trigger warnings, and be hidden under cut.
FANDOMS!
ooo! The fun stuff! Here's the following Fandoms that I'm mainly (and currently) apart of/enjoy content of!
Splatoon!
Welcome Home!
Dialtown!
Alton Towers!
Wreck It Ralph!
Overall interests!
This is all the stuff I enjoy outside of Fandom content!
Anything Paleo!
Bugs!
Marine life!
Character designing/monster making!
Biology based sciences/study!
What content will I post?
What I plan to post here (and hopefully follow through with) is...
Fanart/Fanfics.
Animations.
OC Content.
College Work/Concept art.
Final Words!
Wow! We're at the end! Crazy. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be posting on here more often than before, and as for my final words, all I gotta say is I hope you enjoy my content and if ya don't, oh well!
(Posted: 7/1/24)
(Updated: - 1/11/24)
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scarletfire03 · 1 year ago
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Welcome...
~~~ What to expect ~~~
This blog is where all my interests collide. I reblog whatever i like to here and post my rambles and art here too.
I mainly draw horror and monster designs but i also post speculative biology.
If youre looking for something more specific or off topic check out my sideblogs!
~~~ Sideblogs ~~~
@scarletelectronics - retro hardware collector blog (inactive until I finally get soldering supplies)
@scarlettheripper - model reference blog (inactive until I find the willpower to render a single model a billion times)
@scarlets-block-world - minecraft related content such as worldbuilding and headcanons aswell as resource packs and whatever else
@scarlet-hedgehog-from-hell - sonic related content like headcanons and AUs. I post a lot of Sonic.exe related things there aswell!
~~~ Content Warnings ~~~
this blog contains gore, violence, eye strain and artistic nudity and is not suited for a young audience.
this blog is not properly tagged yet but Im going to tag this shithole eventually
~~~ Personal info ~~~
2003 gang | 🇩🇪 | autism + adhd special combo | demiromantic 🖤🤍💚🩶 + ace 🖤🩶🤍💜
I do art and I try new mediums every few months when hyperfixation strikes
Embracing the cringe
where else to find me:
on Sheezy.art!
on twitch!
on YouTube!
on Bluesky!
on Art Fight!
~~~ Things I like ~~~
half life | portal | the legend of zelda
pokemon | minecraft | legend of legaia
shitty games | electronics | retro games
biology | spec evo | paleo stuff | science
~~~ My Tags ~~~
#scarlet creaturetag
#scarlet paleotag
#scarlet minecrafttag
#scarlet retrotag
#my art
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foodscangenius · 2 months ago
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How Can an App to Check Ingredients Help You Make Safer Choices?
Picture yourself in the supermarket aisle, holding a product over to scan the ingredients label—and finding you have difficulty deciphering half of what it says. Unknown chemical names, concealed additives, or allergy provokers can turn food shopping into a demoralizing and even hazardous activity. For individuals with food sensitivities, health objectives, or dietary needs, the problem is straightforward: you need an app to check ingredients quickly and accurately, so you can make safer choices with confidence.
The solution is easier than you might imagine—an ingredients-checking app.
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The Everyday Problem: What's Really in Your Food?
The typical consumer encounters several problems when scanning ingredient labels:
• Long, complex ingredient lists
• Concealed sugars, artificial flavorings, or allergens
• Ambiguous labeling of GMOs or preservatives
• Deceptive health claims ("natural," "light," or "organic")
For instance, "sodium nitrite" may not sound the alarm, but it's a preservative that poses health threats. Or "casein" may be harmful to an individual with a milk allergy. Most people just don't have time to look up each ingredient on the fly.
That's where technology comes in. With the proliferation of smartphone apps, a food scanner app can fill the gap between incomprehensible ingredient lists and clear, actionable information.
What Is a Food Scanner App?
A food scanner app enables you to scan the barcode of any packaged food product with your phone's camera. It brings up a complete breakdown of the product's ingredients, nutritional content, and any red flags according to your own preferences—such as allergens, artificial additives, or dietary needs.
Certain apps even provide ratings for how "clean" or "safe" a product is and recommend healthier options.
One such app that is drawing attention is Food Scan Genius, which provides intelligent, personalized insights in real time. It's made to empower consumers to make wise decisions without the confusion.
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How Does an App to Check Ingredients Work?
These apps often have three principal functions:
1. Barcode Scanning: Just point your camera at the barcode on the product to pull up all information in an instant.
2. Ingredient Analysis: The app identifies ingredients that could be unhealthy, contentious, or not aligned with your tastes (e.g., dairy, gluten, or high sugar).
3. Personal Profiles: You can define your dislikes—such as avoiding peanuts, dyes, or sugar substitutes—and the app adjusts results to meet your requirements.
With Food Scan Genius, for instance, scanning a snack bar reveals not just what's inside, but how each ingredient aligns with your goals. Whether managing diabetes, following a vegan life, or simply avoiding some additives, it customizes its results for you.
Who Benefits Most From a Food Scanner App?
The more transparency any person requires in food choices, the more certain groups are especially benefited by these apps:
1. People With Allergies or Sensitivities For anyone with food allergies—peanuts, gluten, dairy, or soy—the wrong ingredient can be hazardous. A scanner app can warn you instantly, taking the guesswork out.
2. Parents Taking Care of Their Children Parents tend to worry about sugar, artificial colors, and preservatives in snacks or lunchbox foods. With a scanner, they can quickly compare alternatives and make healthier options for their children.
3. Individuals Managing Health Conditions Individuals handling conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or IBS must avoid certain ingredients. Using a food scanner app is convenient for staying on course without needing to read labels manually.
4. Diet-Conscious Consumers No matter if you're keto, vegan, paleo, or simply attempting to eat clean, the proper app can assist in steering you clear of ingredients that don't fit your lifestyle.
How It Makes You Safer
The most important benefit of an ingredient-scanning app is peace of mind. Here's how it helps you make smarter decisions:
• Steer Clear of Toxic Additives: At a glance, which ingredients have been found toxic or problematic?
• Spot Hidden Ingredients: Find out about additives hiding under strange names (e.g., MSG as "hydrolyzed protein").
• Find Smarter Alternatives: Apps tend to suggest cleaner, healthier versions of the products you scan.
• Save Time: You don't have to stand in the aisle Googling what an ingredient is. The app already did it.
• Stay Consistent: With your preferences being set, every scan is customized to your requirements.
Real-Life Example: Making the Switch
Suppose you scan a best-selling granola bar. The ingredients list "high-fructose corn syrup," "soy lecithin," and "natural flavors"—all of which may be deal-breakers for someone trying to avoid added sugars, processed soy, or ambiguous language.
Not only does the app highlight these ingredients, but also healthier options. Rather than standing there reading five boxes, you leave with the better choice—and a sense of confidence in the decision.
What Makes Food Scan Genius Unique
Of all the food scanner applications available, Food Scan Genius distinguishes itself from the rest thanks to its clean interface, real-time customized analysis, and broad database integration. It's not the scan; it's about learning.
The user has assurance that every scan will align with the user's established goals, whether it's eating less processed food, avoiding allergens, or having a clean eating habit. The app learns and adjusts as it becomes familiar, ensuring it's a smart tool on your wellness journey.
Conclusion
In today's busy world, we usually decide on food quickly. But with all the sneaky ingredients and marketing ploys, what appears healthy may not be.
An ingredient-checking app makes your smartphone a great health helper. With a few quick scans, you can get to the truth behind the label and make decisions that are truly good for you and your loved ones.
Food Scan Genius is just one of those tools that is making it possible for people to do just that—simplify food shopping, personalize results, and make informed choices. Because when it's your health on the line, information is power—and now it fits in your pocket.
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botched-lineart · 11 months ago
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Blog Info
Hi, I'm Rocket. She/They pronouns. This is my dumping ground where I reblog stuff and yell in the tags, post sketchbook art, and write my little shower thoughts onto text posts and gently set them on the river of internet information to drift to sea.
The creature in my pfp is named Blotch. They are my dumbass sona. Any pronouns.
Tag Guide
#cat chats - text posts made by moi
#botched art - my scribbles
#botched photography - photos and videos taken by me
#botched ocs - art and information about my myriad ocs, fandom related and otherwise
#fave art - other people's art which I have reblogged
#inspo - stuff I have saved for my own art reference and inspiration
#sth - things related to sonic, my current fixation
#dinoz - things about paleontology, paleo art, and such
#fave - delightful internet videos and memes which I have reblogged to enjoy on loop forever
I'll use generic content warning tags like "cw gore" or "tw thalassophobia" for sensitive media. It should align with whatever you already have blocked for your browsing comfort.
Please send me frivolous asks and tag me in random things it will make my day
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aligndentalcare · 1 year ago
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8 non-dental causes of bad breath
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Prolonged foul breath is an indication of dental problems and inadequate oral hygiene. In the meantime, it can be a warning sign that a serious sickness is developing inside your body.
The majority of cases of foul breath, or halitosis as it is medically termed, are linked to dental issues and usually have an eggy smell. The remaining percentage has been connected to various health issues. The kind of odour that emanates from your foul breath can help identify the problem within your body.
Below is a list of smells that are associated with various medical problems and chronic illnesses.
1) Fruity or Sweet Scent
Uncontrolled blood sugar causes fruity breath. As you are aware, insufficient synthesis of the hormone insulin leads to diabetes. Furthermore, as blood sugar levels rise, our body is unable to use glucose for energy.
It forces our body to metabolise fat for energy, resulting in the production of sweet-smelling ketones. Thus, the term "sweet" or "fruity" breath refers to this bad breath. It is also known as "Ketone Breath" because fat breaks down to produce ketones.
2) The smell of trash or corpses
It suggests liver illness or failure. Our liver cannot eliminate the waste items it processes when it weakens or becomes ineffective. Additionally, it has an impact on other liver functions like protein synthesis and detoxification.
Dimethyl sulphide, which is eventually produced as a result, has a musty, corpse-like smell.
3) Acidic Smell The primary cause of sour or acidic breath is reflux reflux illness, such as gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD).
When the muscle at the end of the oesophagus does not seal correctly, it might cause GERD. It causes the stomach's acid and other contents to return to the throat, mouth, and oesophagus. Your breath smells unpleasant when you consume such partially digested items.
4) Has an unpleasant nappy odour
A telltale sign of severe renal disease is foul-smelling breath that has a sewage-like scent. Our bodies fill with water when our kidneys are unable to filter the blood, making it impossible for the waste products from digestion to be expelled. We refer to this illness as uremia.
Individuals with uremia, or kidney failure, experience muscle edoema and breath that smells like a soiled nappy.
5) The scent of rotting meat
The reason behind your breath smelling like rotten flesh is mucus buildup in the lungs.
Mucus build-up causes this foul-smelling illness known as bronchitic cystitis. It is a long-term inflammatory illness that causes the lungs' permanent airways to grow and causes issues like TB, chest pain, dyspnea, and much more.
6) Odour of boiled cabbage
A hereditary condition known as hypermethioninemia prevents our bodies from metabolising the amino acid methionine. Only a small percentage of those afflicted with this illness experience intellectual incapacity, and their breath and urine will smell like boiled cabbage.
7) Breath that smells like faeces
Like the smell of acid, it is associated with digestive issues caused by obstructions in the intestines. This type of intestinal blockage prevents waste materials from exiting the body and causes a variety of digestive issues, including constipation. It is recognised by symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, and breath odours similar to faeces.
8) The Odour of Nail Polish Remover
For those who adhere to a paleo-style low-carb diet, it occurs. Their body breaks down lipids for energy instead of carbs because they ingest low amounts of carbohydrates. It yields acetone, which is made of the same basic substance as nail polish removers.
In summary
Halitosis is a bothersome condition that can be brought on by oral as well as medical issues. More specifically, extra-oral origins of bad breath have been made possible by the mouth-body connection, and a dentist can assist you in diagnosing the underlying medical conditions.
To know more information, visit: https://www.aligndentalcare.lk/8-non-dental-causes-of-bad-breath/
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Yes, please tell us more about your favorite dinosaurs!
Sorry for the delayed response, I just had a really cool post idea (and I should get to work on it soon) -- which I may or may not go ahead and do, given that it involves explaining the connection between a bunch of different popular science books.
That post idea involves "dinosaur porn," but I've heard "porn" used rather disparagingly for many kinds of content, so I'd rather not call it that. (I don't know, I think the term might also be used positively by some people, but I do know a few people who say they don't like porn because it's usually "gross," "creepy," etc. -- although one or two of these people also like some of the stuff that gets lumped in with porn. "Dinosaur porn," then, is sort of a negative catch-all term; I'll only call it that if I want to.)
But back to the book I was talking about: it's called Inventing the Dinosaurs: The Modern Synthesis and Its Influence.
I should warn that if the book's title is not enough to dissuade you (I'm not sure it will -- many people seem to be fascinated with the idea of going over and over something and seeing it from many different angles, as in a science book), then it will probably get you really into a book about dinosaurs (if you're an American with a particularly large science education, you've probably already been exposed to the idea that there was a lot of stuff going on with dinosaurs).
But if that's what you're into, then it might be for you. There's a lot of detail, some of it technical, but a good deal of it is quite readable, and it was a very important book -- as, indeed, was its predecessor, a book I've already mentioned several times in this blog (The First Fossil Hunters), by Charles Courtney Curran, a paleontologist at Yale. It's called Paleobiology: The Modern Synthesis, and it covers the entire subject of paleontology from the late 19th century until the present, with a lot of detail about what happened in this specific field and how the field evolved through different theories.
The book was so influential, in fact, that it gave the name "paleobiology" to the field as a whole. That's a pretty common name for a science, and it's a very well known field, so I'm sure you've heard of it already, but I thought I'd mention it since I know people who are excited about dinosaurs have not heard of it.
Anyway, in Inventing the Dinosaurs, the author, Mark Carrano, makes the point that, although the paleontology community had been in the process of creating this "modern synthesis" for a long time (indeed, it's generally agreed that major "upheavals" happened in different areas of the science at different times), the final result (for the field as a whole) wasn't reached until the mid-20th century (by which Carrano means "in the 1950s").
There were a bunch of different ideas that were put forward at different times to explain a bunch of different features, and it's often easy to get confused because they sound very different from each other and to give each one its due. For instance, there was the "gradualist" (or "uniformitarian") idea that Earth was very slowly and steadily changing over a very long period. This idea was often used to explain all the other changes and features, but there were various different proposed explanations for why it would be true -- some were due to natural processes, some were due to the Creator (but this was a doomer idea; that is, a Creationist idea whose purpose was to convince Christians to believe in a Biblical flood). Gradualism explained a lot, but it didn't explain the origin of some features -- like the very first vertebrates.
Gradualism is "boring," so it was a popular choice until someone pointed out that it didn't make sense to use the same gradualist theory to explain the origin of something and to explain the persistence of that thing. And there were various proposed solutions to this problem, and one of them was called paleo-explosionism, a theory which held that the first vertebrates were all created all at once in the very early Precambrian -- and the Earth's very slowly changing over a very long period. Gradualism could explain lots of stuff, but it couldn't explain the origin of vertebrates.
The next example is going to be a little more complicated and a little less popular, because I'll need to explain a bunch of different theories that were developed at different times. This is because the "modern synthesis" is, in fact, a really complex "ideology" -- a set of theories that were built around a handful of ideas, and they are connected to each other in a non-trivial way. The "modern synthesis" was "theory of natural selection" plus a couple of other theories -- and the other theories built on that "core" were sometimes called the "higher synthesis," the "neo-Darwinian synthesis," etc. This is all very confusing and the "higher synthesis" was never actually one, strictly speaking, it was more like a whole bunch of different ideas held together by a web of relations and arguments.
And there are a lot of interesting theories in this whole ideology. For instance, one of the "higher synthesis" theories is called Quantum Theory of Chemical Bonding. It holds that the properties of certain molecules in solution -- "covalent bonds," meaning that a pair of atoms "bonded together" -- can be explained by treating these "bonds" as not being actual atomic bonds, but being more like virtual ones, so when two atoms are bonded together, a third atom actually "pushes" them apart, causing a "wave" of repulsion that extends between them. (That is, it's a "wave" of a property called the "force" which goes between each pair of atoms -- i.e., there's a force that pushes the bond apart.) For instance, when H₂O dissolves in water, each oxygen "pushes" on the other, and the water molecules all repel one another. (I'm not entirely clear on this point -- the covalent bond theory holds that a bond between oxygen and hydrogen "repels" the water molecules, like when you push two things apart and then they "push back.")
And then there was a theory called "radiation theory of molecular movement" which I've already mentioned as being a part of the "modern synthesis." I've already mentioned a lot of details about this one, but it was really important, because it held that something could cause a wave that extended between two atoms which were bonded to each other -- a wave that could push them apart. It was really important for Charles Darwin to hold that "something can push things apart" because that was his main point when he wrote the Origin of Species.
All this was possible, and it was important, because there was this idea that it held together all the different "higher synthesis" theories and ideas, the "modern synthesis."
That idea is "all natural." What I mean by that phrase is that Earth had slowly changed through very different theories, such as uniformitarianism and neo-Darwinian "evolution." All these changes were due to some of
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1863-project · 3 years ago
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(To better explain the content warning, the games are all about 'you live in a peaceful village as a hunter part of a guild. You hunt monsters the guild sends you to hunt, for various reasons/justifications. Maybe the monster's threatening people, maybe the carnivores are overhunting the herbivores, so something needs to be done. Its a T rated game so nothing is incredibly explicit, but the concept of hunting in general is still one people may be uncomfortable with, )
Ah, yeah, I think you get a cat-esque companion, too, right? I've seen the cats! Palicos, I think?
I'm less of a hunter type and more of a 'I would like to study and observe these animals' sort of person. I'm actually really excited for Paleo Pines, a dinosaur-themed ranching game! They’re on Tumblr at @paleo-pines!
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bunjywunjy · 5 years ago
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TAGGING SYSTEM GUIDE
#bug- general creepy crawlies tag
#spider- spiders
#snake- snakes
#shark- sharks
#frog- frogs and toads
#ape- ape or monkey
#deeps- underwater scene with no visible seafloor
#bones- bones
#blood- blood
#animal death- dead or dying animal
#animals as food- discussion or presentation of killing an animal to eat
#animal abuse- mention or discussion of animal abuse
#sad picture- really sad picture (rare)
#gross- general gross content such as discussion of rotting carcasses
#gore- visible gore
#medical- images of medical procedures
#holes- trypophobia warning (bad at using this)
#rerun- reblogging my own posts without changes
#fr- Flight Rising-specific content
#friend boost- donation boost for personal friend
#signal boost- boost for donation or issue
#politics- anything political
#biology with bunjy- the old Weird Biology series tag
#cursed biology- the current biology series tag
#stupid human tricks- human-specific cursed biology posts
#paleo- prehistoric biology original content
#legend- folklore/cryptid original content
please note this list is under construction and subject to change. 
these tags are provided as a courtesy service and I am currently about at the limit of what I can handle as far as tagging goes, so please refrain from requesting new tags unless it is a serious concern and understand that I may not be able to fulfill your request.
I do my best to tag for everything, but I’m only mortal and occasionally I do slip up and miss something- so as always, please use with caution!
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royalbloodedbastards · 5 years ago
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chatzy // rat patootie
DATE: Saturday, April 11, 2020 CHARACTERS: Alec, Kieran, Parker ABOUT: Drunk Disney and friendly Frenching.
Alec waved with both hands as Kieran opened the door, grinning widely. "Hey, how's it going?" They shifted the canvas bag on their shoulder and lifted the half full bottle of whiskey partially out, to show him. "I come bearing gifts. Think this is gonna be weird, watching a movie here?"
Kieran clasped a hand over his chest at the sight of the bottle of whiskey. "Truly after my heart." He stood up from the couch to greet Alec properly, offering to relieve them of some of what they were carrying. "It won't be weird for me, seeing as I live here. But if you're concerned, I can text my brother and give him a warning."
Alec laughed and waved away Kieran's offer as they entered, taking their shoes off at the door. They pulled the bottle of whiskey out fully and put the bag down against the wall, glancing around the apartment. "Eh, not concerned, but if you want. He's out right now?"
Kieran shrugged. "I only just came home thirty minutes ago. He could be in his room," Kieran posited. He pulled out his phone and sent Parker a text:
Watching a Pixar film with Alec in the apartment. Maybe you've heard of their work?
Kieran laid his phone on the table and turned to pull two glasses from the cupboard. "How do you like your whiskey?"
Alec gave an 'ah' of understanding and followed Kieran over to the cupboards. "I usually drink this one neat? It was a gift from home and Canadian whiskey's pretty light, but it's nice with ice sometimes." They laughed at their inadvertent rhyme. "I hope you like it."
Parker checked his phone when it vibrated and let out a small laugh.
Lol. Am I supposed to stay in my room because I'm not invited to movie night?
"Neat it is." Kieran slid a glass toward Alec and picked up his phone. "Oh." Kieran laughed. "One second." He crossed the room over to Parker's door and gave two knocks before cracking it open and peering inside. "Parker?"
Alec poured the appropriate amount into Kieran's glass, then followed suit with their own. They picked up both glasses and made their way over to the couch while Kieran approached Parker's door and sat down, making themself at home.
Parker looked up from his computer and raised his eyebrows at Kieran. "Hey. Is this a yes or a no to my question?" He smiled at him.
Kieran snorted. "I'm not going to exclude you from your own living room." He opened the door wider and leaned against the door frame. "In fact, I'd rather enjoy it if you joined us. I may or may not have been missing your attendance at movie night lately." Kieran looked around the room nonchalantly. "May or may not have."
Parker exhaled a small laugh and closed his laptop, then stood up, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders as he walked over to Kieran. "I'll keep that in mind. What movie are you watching?”
Alec put the two glasses down as they waited, then stood back up and wandered over to Kieran's film collection to read more of the titles.
"You'll laugh," Kieran smirked. He took a deep breath and looked up the ceiling. "It's actually a film about a young ingenue working at a three-star Parisian bistro, and his unexpected friendship with a thief." He glanced over at Alec, who was perusing the DVDs, before looking back at Parker. "If that sounds interesting to you?"
Parker drew his eyebrows together and smiled a bit, following after his brother. "Are you talking about Ratatouille? Are you going to watch it in French so it doesn't discredit you as a film critic?" He smirked at Kieran.
"I could never be discredited, Parker, I'm too accomplished." Kieran returned to the living room where Alec was waiting. "Do you mind if my dear brother joins us?"
Alec turned around as Kieran returned. "Of course not!" They waved at Parker. "Nice blanket cape."
Parker snorted and then nodded at Alec to acknowledge them. "I hear we're watching a film about Paris. I hope it's up to standards."
"Definitely not inspection standards," Kieran chortled. He sat down in the center of the couch, assuming he'd be diffusing any tension or intercepting any projectiles by doing so. "Parker, are you going to join Alec and I for drinks?"
Alec picked up their glass again and smiled at Parker. "It's that whiskey you like!" they offered and held their own glass out to him. "Join the party!"
Parker lifted one shoulder in a shrug and also lifted the corner of his mouth. "I suppose. Who am I to say no to whiskey with a Disney movie?" He took the glass from Alec and smiled slightly in thanks.
"Excellent," Kieran smiled and picked up the other glass off the floor. "Well, pour another glass, because I'm not going into this movie dry."
Alec hopped up off the couch and sauntered back to the kitchen to pour themself a new drink. They realized they hadn't been paying attention to where Kieran had taken the glasses from, but the first cupboard they opened was the right one so it didn't take long. "You're talking about it like it's terrible!" Alec laughed, taking their seat beside Kieran again. "It's a good movie, Kieran! Truly high art."
Parker took a seat on one side of Kieran and didn't comment on the movie. He took a small sip of his drink.
"Mhm," Kieran nodded. He took a long sip of his drink, sipping audibly, before leaning back on the couch and whispering, "We'll see."
Alec grinned at Kieran, half turned towards him on the couch. They tucked their legs up beside them. "We'll see, that was so ominous. The rat can't hurt you, Kieran, it's okay."
Parker secured the blanket around his shoulders and took another small sip of his drink. “Have you ever watched this movie?” He asked Kieran.
"No," Kieran admitted. "I don't think I've seen many Pixar movies in general. And the rat can hurt me, okay? Emotional damage is just as valid; the rat doesn't need to bite for you to feel its disease."
Alec laughed and rested their elbow on the back of the couch beside them. They took a sip of their drink and shook their head. "Your eloquence." They kissed the tips of their fingers like a chef. "Unmatched. But this rat doesn't have a disease! He's all about clean eating. Balanced diet, y'know."
"Ah yes," Kieran echoed. "A rat on paleo."
Parker wondered if he should go back to his room but figured that might be weird. He sipped his drink and then stood, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders. “I’m getting water. Do you want any?”
"Ex-rat-ly." Alec took another sip of their drink and turned to sit facing towards the TV now, legs crossed. "I'm good!" they chirped to Parker. "Hurry back or you'll miss the worldbuilding at the start!"
If Kieran rolled his eyes any further, they would have detached. "Yes, please," he replied to Parker. "I can give you a detailed description of the mise-en-scène if you're worried you'll miss it."
Parker grabbed three glasses, filled them with water, and balanced them in his hands so he could hold them out to Alec and Kieran. “I know how this movie works. He’s a rat who cooks.” He took a seat again.
Alec laughed at Kieran's expression. They took the water from despite not asking for it and sipped it three times to be polite before putting it down. "What? There's so much more to it than that!"
Kieran couldn't help but snort at Alec's insistence. He took another sip of the whiskey before switching to the water. "Alright, I'll bite. This is a countryside home, seems pretty poorly maintained. Maybe indicative of a class struggle? Further compounded by the rats being on the fringes of this property, while this homeowner lives similarly on the fringes of Parisian society?"
Parker frowned slightly and wrapped the blanket around his arms again. “Are you trying to give backstory to the old woman who forces the rats from her house?”
Alec grinned when Kieran went along with it. "And the old woman lives alone, clearly, with her line of defense. I don't think she'd own a shotgun otherwise, eh? And no one is going in the attic so no younger relatives are taking care of her, but she seems content with her TV and cooking! Compared to Remy who's surrounded by family but not happy at all until he's separated from them!"
Kieran chuckled. "Alright, I should remind you both that I haven't seen this movie. All of my statements are purely conjecture, so I would appreciate it if you could refrain from dropping any spoilers.”
Alec clapped their hands over their mouth, then realized they couldn't speak like that and lowered them. "Whoops! Sorry. My lips are sealed until the scheduled post-movie discussion period."
Parker dipped his head in a nod. “Ah, yeah. Sorry.” He took a sip of his water, then put it down to pick up his drink again.
As the movie progressed, Kieran tried not to be as judgmental as he usually would be. The whiskey certainly helped—particularly the second and third glasses—but Kieran found that the movie was actually surprisingly entertaining on its own. As they neared the end of the film, he was totally engrossed as the main character brought out the titular dish to the cynical critic. "That's... It? It's just... Gourd vegetables?"
Alec flapped their hand when Kieran spoke and shook their head. They were tearing up at even the thought of the old critic's heart melting when reminded of his childhood. "It's so much more than that! It's his return to childhood, remembering what it was like to enjoy things before he was hardened against the world!"
Parker swirled his mostly empty glass. His face was warm as he shook his head. “Have you had ratatouille? It’s not just gourd vegetables. It’s amazing, if you make it right. And it’s so important, like, the way it brings him back? Like, it’s all about the feeling of the food, not just the food.” He stared at the screen, completely engrossed.
Kieran looked back and forth at Alec and Parker, who were both completely rapt. He smiled down at his hands for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, yeah. I understand.”
Parker patted Kieran’s knee absentmindedly. “I’ll make us some for dinner soon, I just have to grab the ingredients.” He tucked his hands under his chin and sighed as he watched the movie, chest somewhat tight over the flashback scene. “This is a good movie.”
Alec pressed their hands into their cheeks as they watched the end of the movie, their drink forgotten in front of them. "I can help," they offered without taking their eyes off of the screen. "With dinner!"
Kieran tried to, as discreetly as he possibly could, wipe away the errant tears that were collecting on his cheekbone. "Sure," he spoke, keeping his voice even and steady. "We can all collaborate for dinner."
Parker moved to wrap the blanket around his shoulders again and hummed in agreement, not paying attention enough to consider the downsides of cooking dinner with his company.
Alec wrapped their arms around their legs and rested their chin on their knees, somewhat regretting their offer of help now that they realized they had to get up to do so. They picked up their drink again and took a few slow sips so they could pretend not to notice Kieran's movements to wipe away tears. "A group project! Minus the dioramas."
Kieran snorted. "I've never collaborated on a diorama." The retort sounded quippier in his head, but Kieran hoped that neither of them would comment on it.
Parker tilted his head towards Kieran and Alec now and smiled a bit. “Did you just do them yourself?” He sat back on the couch to stretch his back out. “It doesn’t have to be a big group thing. I don’t mind cooking alone.”
"And I don't mind helping!" Alec turned towards Kieran again now that the movie was over. "So did you like it?"
"I don't think I've ever been instructed to make one," Kieran confessed. "And yes. I have to say, it was definitely better than I expected it would be. The food animation was something else." Kieran tipped his glass back to down the remaining liquid. "Speaking of which, considering you both seem keen on cooking and I am very confidently more of a supervisor," Kieran stood, turned, and pointed at both Parker and Alec. "How about a face-off? A friendly, of sorts."
Parker nodded, about to say something about how he saw a thing about the animators burning cheese when Kieran stood and suggested a face off. His eyes flashed excitedly. “A face off? Like chopped?”
Alec sat up straighter at the suggestion. "I'm down!" They hopped up off the couch and took a second to judge their balance, then held out a hand towards Kieran. "Refill?" they offered, their empty glass in their other hand. "Not that I'm trying to butter up the judge!"
"Precisely," Kieran clapped his hands toward Parker. "A refill would be great. Butter me up all you want, I already bolused."
Parker narrowed his eyes at Alec and stood as well, expression softening as he looked at Kieran. “Did you mean right now?”
"If you think we have the groceries for it? I could always step out and grab a couple more." Kieran walked toward the counter. "The theme can be whatever's available in surplus."
Alec topped up the two glasses with more of the whiskey they had brought. "Oh, Parker, did you want more?"
Parker smirked and raised his eyebrows at Alec, somewhat teasing. “Trying to throw me off my game?” He looked back at Kieran and exhaled a laugh. “Three courses?”
Kieran gasped. "Three courses? What? No, Parker, I—" Kieran threw his hands in the air. "Well okay, if you absolutely insist."
Parker laughed fully, tossing his head back. He shook his head. “No, because of Chopped!”
"I will take that as a no!" Alec added a splash more to Kieran's glass, then theirs, before putting the bottle back down. They didn't know how they were supposed to react to Parker's teasing comment at this point so they chose not to at all. "And because you deserve it!" they added to the end of his sentence. They winked at Kieran. "How many compliments before you vote for me by default?"
"If I had a threshold for flattery, what makes you think I'd ever tell you? Better for me just to receive it indefinitely, right?" Kieran winked back. He picked up his full glass and held it beside Parker's empty glass. "Parker Roosevelt Valentine! If you do not come here this instant and join me for another round of this fine liquor, I will be inquiring with your mother!" Kieran tried to pour some of his whiskey into Parker's glass, spilling a good amount on the counter, but winding up with two roughly equivalent glasses.
Parker tutted at Alec when they said they assumed he didn’t want a drink. They scoffed at Kieran. “Go ahead.” He squatted down to try to stabilize his glass, but ended up spilling a bit of whiskey over his hand. He licked the liquor off his wrist and scrunched his nose. “She’s disowned me anyway. Alec, top me up?”
"Then I will shower it upon you!" Alec laughed and stood up from leaning on the counter so they could snag a couple squares of paper towel and wipe the spill up. "I won't even call zamboni on this." They tossed the paper towel out in the garbage, then returned to leaning their elbows on the counter for support, pressing their cheeks into their hands again. "Am I red? I feel red." Their face only heated up more as they watched Parker, and they quickly unscrewed the lid again to pour the last of their whiskey into Parker and Kieran's glasses, filling them a good three quarters of the way to the top.
Parker stayed close to the ground for a moment, looking up at Alec and Kieran, before he stood, head spinning, as he watched Alec finish off their whiskey. “I will need to buy you a drink at some point.” Parker said, nodding as though this made sense. He reached out to take Alec’s chin and turned their face toward him. “You’re not red, not really.” He dropped his hand so he could pick up his glass and raise it in a small toast.
"I can't speak to how you feel Alec, but," Kieran started. He did not finish the sentence. Kieran raised his glass up to meet Parker's. "To rodentia? And culinary achievement!"
"I like when people buy me things," Alec agreed, nodding along to their words as though they were imparting some great wisdom. When Parker turned their head they bit their lip, then leaned back and ran a hand through their hair with a laugh, repeatedly reminding themself in their head that they couldn't do anything about that anymore. They lifted their glass in a cheers. "To rodentia," they echoed, guessing the word had to do with rats. "Infinity and beyond!"
Parker felt like his eyes were spinning around in his head. He touched his glass to his brother’s and Alec’s, then took a small sip. After realizing that he was drunk, he looked at Kieran again, and touched his arm lightly. “You’ve been keeping track of your drinks?” To not draw attention to this, he turned quickly to Alec. “What are you planning on making? Ice cream? Beginner’s mistake, but someone has to do it.”
Kieran tapped Parker's arm in recognition. "You're wonderful." He stepped away from the table for a moment to grab a pen from the counter. He made four tally marks on the back of his hand before slapping the pen back down to the counter top and returning to Alec's side, slinging an arm over their shoulder. "If you were savvy, you'd plan a feast of my favorite meals. But who am I to center these festivities around my own preferences, right? I'm just the judge."
Alec grinned at Kieran and slung an arm around his waist in return. "Of course, I already know all of your favourite foods! But just for the audience, what are they again?"
Parker narrowed his eyes and pointed between Alec and Kieran. “This is fraternizing with the judges. Unfair.” He leaned back against the counter and sipped more of his drink. “You can’t ask him that now that the competition’s started,” he said, having an encyclopedic knowledge of Kieran’s favourite foods himself.
Kieran rolled his eyes as he swayed, practically hanging off of Alec's shoulders. "Parker, you have more knowledge about me than any other person on this planet. I think we can even the playing ground just a little bit, don't you think? It's not a proper battle if only one side comes equipped to conduct a massacre."
Alec swayed with Kieran, keeping their free hand on the counter for a measure of stability. They immediately forgot why their hand was on the counter and picked up their drink instead. "I think we should totally even the playing field! Smooth it out like a zamboni." They squinted. "I feel like I was just talking about zambonis."
Parker grinned at Kieran. “You’re drunk as all hell. I’m going to have to sling you over my shoulder and carry you to bed.” He drank more. “Okay, what the fuck is a zamboni?”
"Lucky for you, I sleep not six paces away," Kieran smirked and pointed at Parker. "The zamboni! The roomba of the winter sports community, is it not?"
“Ah. I don’t remember words like that. He’s the big machine that cleans the ice?”
Alec turned their head and pressed their forehead against Kieran's shoulder, struggling not to double over with laughter. "The- The roomba of- holy shit, the roomba-" they couldn't get the words out as they wheezed.
Kieran just held a hand out, smiling. "I believe Kieran has spoken." He took a small sip of his drink before setting it down on the table. "So my favorite foods, then? My favorite foods are..." Kieran pressed his index finger assertively onto the table. "The foods that Parker makes." He swallowed a burp. "And kombucha."
Alec had to wipe tears of laughter out of their eyes as they gathered themself back together. They took another sip of whiskey and fanned their face. "Holy mackerel, that was fucking great." Their eyes focused on Kieran's finger on the table. "So if I make a food Parker makes it will be good." With a firm nod, they looked back at Parker. "What is a you food?"
Parker grinned at Kieran widely and leaned back against the counter again to prop himself up. He glanced at Alec and smiled with half of his mouth. “Kieran will eat anything as long as it’s spicy. Extra hot,” he over-pronounced the ‘t’.
Alec pointed at Parker, then tapped his nose since his face was right there anyway. "I know that's not true! His favourite type of spice is none!"
Kieran was living. Absolutely living.
Parker practically cackled and swatted Alec’s hand away. “Not true! I’m getting him used to them!” He looked at Kieran, eyebrows raised. “Yeah? No?”
Alec laughed and picked their glass up again. They turned their head towards Kieran as well. "Are there points given for creativity?"
"Yes," Kieran pointed to Parker. "I would say my spice tolerance is at least a Parker Jr." Kieran turned to Alec, who he was still holding onto for support, and nodded. "Creativity is the mother of invention. Or is that need? Regardless!" Kieran slapped the table for emphasis.
Parker smiled, pleased that he was right, and then squinted. “Necess-essary. Necessary. Necessity.” He blinked. “That’s... the word, for the invention thing.” He wondered how he knew that phrase. He pushed himself up off the counter and filled a cup of water for himself, then two more to leave on the counter. He gulped his down.
Alec started to lean against Kieran, then changed their mind as an image popped into their head of both of them topping over. They did their best to stay standing straight upright instead, and laughed. "Hey Parker, d'you smell burnt toast?" They slapped the table as well, after Kieran, for no reason other than the urge taking them. "Creativity is the mother of necessity," they agreed, speaking slowly to avoid stumbling over the words.
Parker shook his head as he finished his water. “Necessity is the mother. Creativity killed the cat.”
Alec snapped their fingers at Parker. "But curiosity brought it back!"
"What?" Kieran hissed. "No! No, no, no, that is incorrect." Kieran let his arm slide off Alec so he could use both of his hands to gesticulate on the table. "The cat is already dead before you even open the box."
Parker drew his eyebrows together. “Ay, what?” He hummed. “There’s no Chopped tonight.”
Alec shook their head. "That's Shringer," they explained patiently. "Shoncher. Shronchinger. Schroedinger." They blinked. "Am I the stroke?"
"What?" Kieran wasn't sure where the conversation had turned to. He picked up a glass of water and drank from it. "What are we doing? Are we cooking? That feels unsafe, I have to say, considering the level of inebriation that you two miscreants seem to be operating at."
Parker shook his head. “No, no. I’m too drunk to be cooking, and if I’m not cooking in my kitchen, then nobody is.” He stared at Alec, almost concerned. “Do you need to stay here tonight? On our couch,” he clarified after a moment.
"Herb Ertlinger," Alec said to themself under their breath, laughed, then remembered they were being addressed. "What? Oh! Yeah, cooking sounds right unsafe at the mome, but I'm not tired." They picked up their glass and examined it. Even though they felt like they had been drinking nonstop, whiskey still remained. "That's okay! Your couch is probably some pricey and I'm right slizzered, don't wanna drool on it or something. I can skedaddle on over to Ime's once you hooligans turn in."
Kieran narrowed his eyes at Alec. "That language." He pointed at Alec's mouth. "Hm... I don't speak that." Kieran sauntered around the table to stand beside Parker. "Thank you for being so responsible, brother."
“Herb Ertlinger,” Parker repeated under his breath, somewhat remembering the phrase but not where it was from. He patted Kieran’s shoulder and laughed. “Always happy to be. If you need us to put down a mat, Alec, we can.” He tilted his head at himself. “But if you feel right enough to get to your sibling’s, feel free.” He shook his glass a bit. “I don’t think I should drink this. Do you want it back?”
Alec pointed at their mouth as well, fully convinced they had accidentally invented a new language until they realized where the confusion stemmed from. They snickered. "T'peux m'comprendre mieux maint'nant, toé?" they drawled, then threw their head back and laughed more. They patted the table again. "Should we try and pour it back in the bottle?"
“Degoutant,” Parker muttered but smiled. “I think I have a funnel in the bottommost drawer. I haven’t used it in a while, but I think its still there. We can use that.” He patted Kieran’s arm again. “We can do a competition for you another time, si t’es fâché.”
Kieran folded his arms across the table and bent over to rest his chin on his hands. "J'adorerais ça, Parker." Kieran pushed his half-full glass toward the bottle until they clinked together. "Ne soyons pas gaspilleuse."
Alec happily skipped over to get the funnel since neither of the others made any move to. “We’re being responsible, eh?” They plucked the funnel out of the drawer. “Should I do it? My no-spill track record’s the best so far!”
Parker couldn’t resist the urge to pat Kieran’s head. “Do it because it’s your bottle and I can see three.” He yawned. “Are you going to try to make kombucha now, Alec?”
Kieran snorted as Parker pat his head, then gasped at the mention of kombucha. "Let me know if you need any starter or scoby. I have so much." Kieran gestured generally in the direction of the kitchen. "It's all right here. Call me Scoby Doby Do."
Alec threw their head back and laughed at Kieran. “I’m never calling you anything else!” They patted his back, then started slowly pouring the whiskey back into the bottle, forehead creased with concentration. “This feels like surgery!” Only once they had finished did they answer the question. “I think I will! I’ve done it before and it turned out alright.” They screwed the lid back onto the top of the bottle and picked up the glass of water Parker had poured them earlier.
Parker rested a hand on his stomach as he laughed. He didn’t really know what a scoby was, but the idea of that sort of name for Kieran was amusing to his drunk mind. “Can we watch another movie that’s not Ratatouille but is like Ratatouille? Not now,” he clarified; it was past his bedtime at the moment.
Kieran furrowed his brows. "You mean like Willard?"
Alec snorted. “Please not like Willard. Let’s stick with animation.” They gasped. “Can we watch Coco?”
Parker had no idea what Willard was, but figured it might be a joke. He laughed. “I like Coco.” He snapped and pointed at Alec. “That’s the one with the two guys and the underworld, right?”
Alec pointed back at Parker. “I think.... I think that’s Book of Life.”
"Alright, well clearly this branch of cinema is out of my area of expertise, unless we're talking about Ms. Chanel, but it doesn't seem like that's the case." Kieran let his head fall to the side, resting on his forearm.
Parker hummed. “Maybe. I’ll watch anyway. Have you watched Lilo and Stitch?” He laughed at Kieran again. “Are you going to sleep?”
Alec smiled as they watched Kieran. “I can skedaddle now if you’re gonna sleep on the table.” They pat his back again.
"What? I would never sleep on the table, I'm not a heathen." Kieran closed his eyes. "Lilo and the Stitch," he repeated. "Sounds lovely."
Parker smiled at Kieran before looking back at Alec. “We’ll watch something. One of those. I’ll bring the drinks.” He yawned again. “Get safe to Ime’s.”
Alec took that as their cue to leave and gave Parker the OK symbol as they picked up their whiskey. “Thanks for the fun night, guys!” they chirped, fulling sitting down on the floor to put their shoes on as they didn’t trust their balance. “I’ll try not to fall into a ditch!”
Kieran lifted a hand in good bye and mumbled, "Stay safe, Alec," his eyes closed all the while.
Parker nodded at Alec and took Kieran by the elbow to try to stand him up. "Let's go to bed before you become a heathen, then." He refilled Kieran's glass with water to take with them.
Kieran groaned and stayed stagnant on the table. "Change is good," he muttered.
Alec half tripped on their way out. “Sleep tight!” they called behind them before closing the door.
Parker sighed and pulled Kieran’s arm again. “Do I have to carry you?”
Kieran gasped quietly. grinning. "Would you really do that for me?"
Parker laughed and nodded. “Of course. Do you want me to? I might knock you into something, be warned.”
Kieran snorted. "No, no, that will not be necessary, thank you." Kieran sighed and turned his face down directly to the table before using both hands to push himself upright with a big groan. Once he was standing straight, Kieran opened his eyes and smirked at Parker. "Did you see that upper body strength?"
Parker beamed at Kieran. “I sure did. Have you been going to the gym in your free time?” He picked up the glass of water again and held it out to Kieran.
"The man has jokes," Kieran muttered as he took the glass. He slowly but surely downed the entire cup of water before setting it down on the table. "Hey—" Kieran pointed at Parker's chest. "I have something for you."
Parker leaned a hand on the counter and smirked at Kieran. “Do you?”
Kieran nodded fervently. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise." He started to turn as if to go get something. "Don't worry, it's not wine."
Parker furrowed his brow and then closed his eyes, bringing his hands up to cover them for good measure. “Ugh. It better not be cheese either.”
Kieran waited until Parker's eyes were closed, then turned back and stumbled forward, throwing his arms around his brother. He gave him a tight squeeze and mumbled, "Love you," into his shoulder, before pushing off of him to stand up straight again.
Parker took a small step backwards to steady himself as Kieran’s weight was against him. He dropped his hand from his face and managed to wrap an arm around Kieran’s shoulders before he pulled away. He pressed his lips together and smiled at his brother, chest full. “I love you too. That was a great surprise.”
Kieran smiled and closed his eyes. "You're a great brother." He turned and started toward his room, singing the Ratatouille credits song at full volume on 'blah' as he went.
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ketodietforwomen-blog · 6 years ago
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From vegan to keto, Whole30 and more: Super Bowl party foods for popular diets
Sticking to a diet is already hard enough, but now you're invited to a Super Bowl party and you have to stick to your diet? Blasphemous.
Don't throw in the towel just yet. You can still enjoy your favorite foods (to an extent) all while staying committed to your diet. Although most Super Bowl food staples like multi-layer dips, pizza and sliders sound like a disaster waiting to happen, there are ways you can make even the seemingly unhealthiest foods fit any diet.
Here are ways you can still have a good time at your friend's annual Super Bowl shindig without feeling guilty.
Wings are friendly for practically every diet. (Photo: Jupiterimages, Jupiterimages)
Wings
Keto, Whole30, paleo, Atkins and gluten-free
Thankfully, one of the most popular Super Bowl dishes can fit almost any diet (sorry, vegans, but you can try vegan cauliflower wings).
When we say wings, we're referring to the traditional wings and not boneless (fake) wings. Those are basically just chicken nuggets and are breaded, which would not make them keto, Whole30, Atkins, paleo or gluten-free compliant.
The tricky part about wings is the sauce they're dipped in, so make sure to check the carbs, gluten and sugar content in the sauces before partaking.
Based off Buffalo Wild Wings' nutritional menu, the dry seasonings seem to be the best option with most of them coming in at just 1 or 2 grams of carbs for 18 wings.
The medium hot sauce, blazin' and caramel sauce are gluten-free, and if you're going the Whole30 or paleo route, just make sure the sauce you're getting doesn't have any added sugar.
Pizza
Vegan, gluten-free, Atkins, keto and paleo
Sorry, but regular pizza as we know it isn't going to make the cut.
However, some restaurants have started getting with the times and have gluten-free and vegan pizza options. Domino's and Papa John's offer gluten-free dough, and Pizza Hut has a whole gluten-free pizza. And many non-delivery pizza chains have gluten-free options, too.
You could also alter any pizza you order to make it vegan – just skip the cheese. But beware, certain pizza dough contains non-vegan ingredients. According to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the thin crust from Domino's and hand-tossed dough from Pizza Hut are both vegan-friendly, so go wild.
If you're doing keto, Atkins or paleo, you can recreate a pizza and just use cauliflower crust to get around the no-carb and no-grain rules. California Pizza Kitchen is one restaurant that offers cauliflower crust –  just make sure the toppings you're putting on are diet-friendly, as well.
However, those on an Atkins diet might want to leave out the tomato sauce as the diet warns against added sugars in sauces.
Unfortunately, you can't have pizza (even cauliflower-crust pizza) on Whole30 as you're not allowed to recreate forbidden foods.
Chips and salsa or guacamole
Vegan and gluten-free
Vegan eaters can have all the chips, salsa and guac they want; lucky you.
And if you're gluten-free, you're in luck because there are hundreds – no, seriously–  of chip brands that are gluten-free.
Whole30, keto, Atkins and paleo dieters are a bit out of luck. You can't really eat many store-bought chips, but with the latter two diets, you can try and make your own paleo-friendly chips at home and bring them with you to the Super Bowl party.
At least you can eat spoonfuls of guac and salsa though (just check the ingredients for any added sugars or noncompliant ingredients).
Sliders
Keto, Atkins, Whole30 and paleo
Unless the sliders at your friend's soiree are made with low-carb, gluten-free, no-grain buns and have veggies instead of meat, they're not friendly for any diet.
If you're following any of the diets mentioned, the culprit in the sliders is the bun.
People who are gluten-free just need to make sure that the buns used don't have gluten in them and the meat sandwiched in between isn't breaded.
Those on a keto, Atkins, Whole30 or paleo plan will have to ditch the entire essence of the slider. Get rid of the bun entirely, and your slider will most likely be compliant to your diet.
Veggie platter
Vegan, gluten-free, Whole30, Atkins, keto and paleo
It's not a Super Bowl party without the infamous veggie platter. OK, so the mini carrots and celery aren't as popular as the pizza display or the wings, but they're friendly for every diet.
Just make sure to dip your veggies in the guacamole and not the ranch that's usually provided.
Those on keto do have to be careful not to load up on the high-carb veggies. So stay away from the mini carrots and go for the tomatoes and green vegetables instead.  
Loaded potato skins
Vegan, Whole30 and gluten-free
This obviously all depends on what the potato skins are loaded with, but if there aren't any animal products on the potato skins, then go ahead and flourish, vegans. Eat as many potato skins as your heart desires.
Potatoes are naturally gluten-free, so if you're gluten intolerant or just avoiding it, make sure that the rest of the ingredients on the loaded potato skins are gluten-free, as well.
Potato skins can be adapted to fit practically every diet, except for paleo and keto. Just fill the potatoes with guacamole and lean protein, and it's Whole30 approved.
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livehealthynewsusa · 4 years ago
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Can You Eat Corn if You’re on the Keto Diet
The ketogenic diet you probably know as “keto” seems to stay here. Like many of these trending diets – Paleo, Whole 30, to name a few – the keto diet is extremely restrictive in order to put your body into ketosis, which means it burns fat instead of carbohydrates for energy.
So what does it look like? Ideally, keto dieters get 70 percent of their calories from high-fat foods. And yes, that can include cheese and bacon without sacrificing weight loss. That doesn’t leave much room for carbohydrates – like corn – or proteins.
Here people have a lot of questions about some of their favorite carbohydrate foods – like potatoes and corn. Can you eat corn on the keto diet? And what about corn-based products such as corn tortillas, corn chips, corn flakes? The list goes on.
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While corn is a vegetable, it is a starchy vegetable, which means it is high in carbohydrates – not keto-friendly fat. One corn on the cob contains about 41 grams of carbohydrates. One cup of corn contains about 30 grams of carbohydrates.
That doesn’t mean corn isn’t a healthy food, says Melanie Boehmer, MS, certified nutritionist. For example, corn contains fiber, vegetable protein, vitamin C and some potassium and vegetable iron.
Corn is also very cheap, which is why you will find corn-based products like corn syrup in many, many packaged foods. This means that when you shop for groceries, you need to pay close attention to the nutritional information – it is easy to consume certain products without realizing it.
Is Corn Keto?
It should come as no surprise, based on the amount of carbohydrates in corn, that corn is not a keto. But remember, says Boehmer, keto dieters are allowed around 30 to 40 grams of carbohydrates per day.
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Half a cup of corn contains around 15 grams of carbohydrates, which makes a delicious salad topper or scrambled egg mix-in.
Can I Eat Corn-Based Products While On The Keto Diet?
Many foods – tortillas, chips, pizza crust, anything with corn syrup – are made from corn. So if corn is a no-go for keto, does that mean these products are, too?
Yes. Corn-based products mean that they are high in carbohydrates.
“If you want to get your carbohydrates from corn and really love this tortilla, then eat your corn tortilla, but everything else that goes with this meal must be mostly high-fat or moderate in protein,” says Böhmer. A corn tortilla contains around 20 grams of carbohydrates.
What can I eat instead of corn?
There is no shortage of low-carbohydrate vegetables that can be eaten instead of corn, says Böhmer. For example, try cauliflower, which has also become a popular gluten-free substitute for pizza crust (among other things). Beets and carrots are also keto-approved substitutes.
Yes, the keto diet is restrictive, but it allows a lot of creativity in putting your meals together – beet pizza, anyone?
However, Böhmer warns that the diet is not suitable for everyone, especially those who live in food deserts and do not have access to fresh produce.
Since keto is heavily dependent on certain food groups, you want to be near a top-notch supermarket to access your ingredients – and that’s a privilege not everyone has – says Boehmer.
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source https://livehealthynews.com/can-you-eat-corn-if-youre-on-the-keto-diet/
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cardiococktail · 4 years ago
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Low-carb diets: An easy way to lose weight or recipe for heart attack? | New Scientist
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Jason Ford
COUNTLESS fad diets come and go, but these days there is one we never stop hearing about. Whether you call it low-carbing, Atkins, keto or paleo, the principle is the same: cutting down on starchy food and filling up on fat and protein.
Low-carbohydrate diets are increasingly being endorsed by obesity and diabetes specialists, and a growing number of trials show that the approach helps people lose weight at least as much as traditional low-fat, low-calorie regimes. More and more people are eating this way, not to lose weight, but because they see it as healthier.
Yet many doctors warn that low-carbing is dangerous. They point to large-scale population studies linking low-carb diets to increased risk of heart attack, stroke and premature death.
The puzzling thing is, those warnings don’t seem to square with findings from clinical trials, generally a better kind of medical evidence than population studies. Several have now shown that low-carb diets generally don’t raise the levels of “bad cholesterol”, long seen as a major risk factor for heart attack and stroke. Even in people who do see a rise, other markers of heart health usually improve.
It is so confusing that some wonder if we have got the causes of heart disease all wrong. “This has led me to question whether I believe in the cholesterol hypothesis at all,” says Eric Westman, an obesity specialist at Duke University in North Carolina.
As rising rates of obesity and diabetes threaten public health, the questions around the safety of low-carb diets are becoming increasingly urgent. So, is ditching carbs a safe way to lose weight …
This content was originally published here.
  source https://atlantaloser.com/low-carb-diets-an-easy-way-to-lose-weight-or-recipe-for-heart-attack-new-scientist/
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archerwindsor · 5 years ago
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How to make Keto Diet-Friendly Pickles at home
How to make Keto Diet-Friendly Pickles at home
A few years back I was a great Keto fan. That was the time when I was a nonvegetarian and a woman without arthritis. Yes, I am planning to write about my weight loss and health journey story again soon.
When we talk about the Keto diet, there are many misconceptions prevalent and one of them is whether homemade pickles are keto-friendly or not. Some of the keto followers believe that the lectin and hidden sugars in pickles can ruin all the hard work while some feel that the essential vitamins and minerals in the pickles are a wonderful high in a Keto diet. Being an inquisitive person even I wished to know if Pickles for Keto diet are a ‘Yay or Nay’. Let us know more about if pickles are Keto Diet-friendly or not.
My simple logic says that one can have pickles on a Keto diet if it doesn’t contain added sugar or carbohydrates in any form. Pickles can be perfectly low-carb and keto-friendly as a snack or even as a flavourful side dish during meals. The one thing that we need to be careful about choosing the readymade pickles as most of them contains added sugar which contributes to adding carbohydrates to a perfect Keto Diet and in turn ruining it.
Best Keto Diet-friendly pickles
Now the question arises about the best way to add a pickle to keto meals. I personally suggest the homemade fermented pickles. You can read about making Kimchi pickles here.
Fermented pickles are undoubtedly the healthiest one as while fermenting, the process breaks down the sugar content in the pickle. In other words, it can be concluded that the carbs from sugars reduce to a large extent while fermenting. Obviously enough, in turn, the sour taste increases and makes the homemade fermented pickle the perfect choice for a Keto diet.
Though markets are full of Keto friendly products, yet there are very few options for fermented pickles on the shelves.  That is why I suggest preparing your own Keto Diet-friendly pickles and enjoy it guilt-free.
Keto Diet-friendly Cucumber Pickle
After checking around all over the internet, I found a few very easy options which are Keto Diet-friendly. Follow these easy steps….. Believe me it a kid’s play… in fact, I am soon planning to make my grandchildren make these pickles
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Wash and pat dry 2 cucumbers.
Cut them into thick vertical or round slices.
Place them in a glass jar or reused glass bottle.
Add salt to taste, few cloves of garlic, and few peppercorns.
Top it up with 1 cup of white vinegar.
Pour 1 cup of hot water on top.
Keep the bottle in the refrigerator for a few days and Tadaaa! the Keto-friendly cucumber pickle is ready to be relished.
The same process can be followed while making the other Keto Diet-friendly pickles using Cabbage, Cauliflower, Green chilies, Ginger, Red onions, or even melons.
The Keto diet often causes fluid loss in the body and in such a situation pickle consumption helps you fight the troublesome keto-flu symptoms. Anything fermented is known to keep the gut healthy along with providing antioxidants.
Warning…
It is advised to eat pickles in control as an increase in sodium intake can have side effects too. So how about making your own Keto Diet-friendly pickles at home and relish them stress-free!
You may also like reading –
Keto Diet/ Paleo Diet: Chicken Kheema recipe
Keto Diet- How To Balance The Extremes
‘No-Fail’ Keto Diet Tips For Beginners
Bell Peppers in Keto Diet
Budget-Friendly Protein Sources For Weight Loss With Keto Diet
How to make Keto Diet-Friendly Pickles at home published first on https://olimpsportnutritionuk.tumblr.com/
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maryabouchardon · 5 years ago
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The truth behind one of the most popular diet patterns of the minute
Weight Loss: Simple Seven-day Keto Diet Plan That Helps ... Can Be Fun For Everyone
Table of ContentsUnknown Facts About 49 Keto Diet Foods To Change Your Weight Loss Goals ...The Basic Principles Of 'Best Diets' Ranking Puts Keto Last, Dash First - Cnn - Cnn.com The smart Trick of The Truth Behind The Most Popular Diet Trends Of The Moment ... That Nobody is Talking AboutIndicators on The Ketogenic Diet For Weight Loss - Today's Dietitian Magazine You Need To KnowThe Should You Try A Keto Diet For Weight Loss? - Consumer ... PDFs
There's additionally research right into making use of a keto diet to cure/prevent cancer (see Dr Seyfried's research for even more) and brain conditions like Alzheimer's (see Dr. D'Agostino's research for even more). There's typically a misconception that our body in some way requires carbs. But the reality is our body can live without carbs simply fine as long as you eat a lot of good fats and protein.
Nonetheless, our brains do need sugar (a form of carb). On standard, your mind takes up 20% of your body's power expenditure, which relates to around 100-120 grams of sugar. It sounds like we therefore require to eat carbs to provide adequate energy to our minds daily. Well, if that were the case, then humans would only have the ability to live a couple of days without food (because we can't save adequate sugar in our bodies to last for any kind of longer).
So, where does that sugar to provide our brain originate from when we quickly for a week? As Robb Wolf states in The Paleo Remedy, "Our bodies can make all the carbs it requires from protein and fat." And as Dr. Peter Attia puts it, "The reason a depriving person can live for 40-60 days is specifically because we can turn fat right into ketones as well as transform ketones right into substratum for the Krebs Cycle in the mitochondria of our neurons - blood ketone levels.
Kind 1 Diabetics Kind 2 Diabetics using Insulin Females that are breastfeeding People on specific drugs e.g., for hypertension If you come under one of those classifications, then please be added mindful when attempting keto. The ketogenic diet is a tool, however that doesn't indicate it should be utilized at all times and by everyone.
A Biased View of The Keto Diet Guide - Faqs, Tips, And Science - Bulletproof.com
Not truly (it depends on just how you interpret the Atkins diet as well as what you eat on it): Many individuals interpret the Atkins diet to be a reduced carbohydrate strategy, as well as when I attempted the Atkins diet, that's just how I understood it. I counted the grams of carbohydrates I consumed but didn't actually take note of the protein or fat quantities.
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As well as however, eating way too much healthy protein is one point that can stop your body from entering into ketosis, which is the major advantage of keto. Of training course, if you assume Atkins means a high fat diet, then what you assume of as Atkins can be a lot closer to the keto diet.
(Because remaining in ketosis is such a critical element of the keto diet,) Nevertheless, Dr Atkins understood about ketosis and also advertised it. He never measured blood ketone manufacturing by his patients, but he did utilize pee ketone screening strips "for every single person on every browse through" according to Registered Nurse Jackie Eberstein, who collaborated with Dr Atkins, and also as Jimmy Moore reports in Keto Clearness, Dr Atkins later on added a maker for analyzing ketones in the breath also to his clinic.
In some areas Paleo is really comparable to the Keto diet, as well as if I was mosting likely to offer an extremely standard definition of a keto diet, I would certainly state it's a lower carbohydrate version of Paleo. If you reduced out the wonderful potatoes, honey, starchy tubers as well as sweet fruits from Paleo, after that you're entrusted a quite healthy and balanced keto diet.
An Unbiased View of A Keto Diet Meal Plan And Menu That Can Transform Your Body
Paleo emphasizes the genealogical diets as well as taking a look at food quality (nutrient density and also staying clear of contaminants like gluten). Keto highlights remaining in the metabolic state of ketosis where you're predominantly shedding ketones for energy. Nevertheless, you can follow a Paleo strategy and also remain in ketosis. Or you can be eating an undesirable non-Paleo Keto diet filled up with inflammatory low carb or high fat foods (e - beginning ketogenic diet.g., seed oils, sweetening agents, soy).
Even if it's reduced in carbs or high in fat does not indicate it's always healthy for you. Given that the ketogenic diet has only recently ended up being preferred, there is a scarcity of reliable studies on it - strict keto diet. There's a great deal of n=1 (self-experiments and unscientific evidence) experiments like triathlete Ben Greenfield's experiment.
If you want to find out more concerning the science behind ketosis, then I highly recommend taking a look at Dr - review cbd. Peter Attia's blog site below. OK, allow's obtain down to the details. The keto diet is fairly easy in regards to the policies you need to follow. The fundamental consuming tenets of a ketogenic diet are as complies with: Eat Really Little Carbs.
Consume Moderate Quantity of Healthy Protein. to get the keto diet food list emailed to you directly. Or if you like to view it on the website, below's the link. The precise amounts of each macronutrient you need for your body to go right into the ketosis state will vary from individual to individual, and there's an entire area listed below on how to check whether your body is in ketosis or not.
What Is The Keto Diet? A Detailed Beginner's Guide - U.s. ... Things To Know Before You Buy
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Facts About What Is The Keto Diet? A Detailed Beginner's Guide - U.s. ... Uncovered
For your carbohydrate quantity, Jimmy Moore recommends in his publication Keto Clearness that complete quantity has to be at least under 100g per day and also for many people under 50g. As well as for people with insulin level of sensitivities, you could need to consume under 30g or 20g daily. Jimmy has an in-depth 3-step plan in his publication to determine your carb resistance.
Jeff Volek, PhD and Dr. Stephen Phinney, MD suggest that to compute your minimum and also maximum protein intake for remaining in ketosis, you must increase your weight (gauged in lbs) by 0.6 and 1.0 to obtain the minimum as well as optimum quantity of healthy protein in grams you should consume daily.
Dr. Phinney adds, "In our experience, individuals on a ketogenic diet that think they are eating healthy protein in moderation are usually well above [the recommended amount] because of be afraid of eating fat to satiety." It is necessary to obtain enough protein, but equally important to get the correct amount of fat.
Donald Layperson recommends restricting protein totals up to 30g per dish as well as no even more than 140g per day. According to Registered Dietitian Maria Zamarripa, RD, "The ketogenic diet highlights the "fat burning" result of ketosis. The key variable in the ketogenic diet is the rearrangement of macronutrients to make fat the main gas resource." After limiting carbs and consuming a modest amount of healthy protein, the rest of what you eat ought to be healthy and balanced fats like ghee, coconut oil, olive oil, avocado oil, and animal fats.
The 3-Minute Rule for Keto Diet Weight Loss: Everything I Learned From Going Keto ...
Some severe athletes like Ben Greenfield and Chris Kelly discover ketosis to actually assist their athletic performance, yet there are just a couple of scientific researches that back this up. A lot of the research studies on athletic efficiency on the keto diet that I've discovered have been carried out by Stephen Phinney as well as Jeff Volek.
If you want reviewing the studies in addition to criticism of them, Anthony Colpo has actually composed quite a detailed and also instead scathing (however I assume typically rather valid) review of them below. Also Ben Greenfield puts a huge red warning on his keto diet testimonial, outlining his testing while training for Ironman Canada.
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from Canada Berries Naturals https://canadaberriesnaturals.blogspot.com/2020/06/the-truth-behind-one-of-most-popular.html
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