#painting those fucking tattoos was the hardest anything has been to draw in ages. the tattoo gradients vs the lighting gradients fucking ki
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mozzarellamint · 1 year ago
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down something fucking horrendous over this freak
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pterodactylterrace · 4 years ago
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Guys Like You Chapter 6
Title: Guys Like You
Chapter: 6
Chapter Summary: More of a filler chapter, not much Henry, I’m sorry.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, pregnancy, poor self image, bad coping mechanisms, low self esteem.
{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5}
"I already told you, Faye! I don't want anything to do with this!"
"So because I want to keep my babies, you're leaving me? Is that what you're trying to tell me, David?"
"Yes! Shit, I knew you were dumb, but seriously!"
"Excuse me?"
"Are you deaf too, whore? How do you even know I'm the one that knocked you up? You've slept with just about every guy in town!"
"Get the fuck out."
"Don't come crying to me later! You're nothing without me! No one is ever going to want you. Especially once you have kids. Who the hell wants used goods? Have fun living a life of regret!"
Faye jerked awake, her head spinning as she tried to catch her bearings. Did David really leave her just like that? Sure he wasn't the greatest, but he had never lashed out like that before. At least not where anyone else could witness it.
No. David's gone. He has been gone for almost four years now. New life. Starting over. It's all in the past now.
Have to get the baby up before the sitter comes. Work is coming up soon. Life goes on.
"Briar, what are you doing on the floor?" Faye chuckled, crouching down next to her daughter, curled up on her pillow by her bed.
"I'm a puppy." Briar yawned in explanation, holding her arms up to be lifted, promptly licking her mother's cheek as soon as she was up.
"Briar, we talked about licking people."
"I'm not Briar, I'm puppy."
"Ok then, puppy, no licking people. Now what do you want for breakfast?"
"Puppy food."
"Cereal it is."
Feed the toddler, quick shower, get dressed, throw her hair up away from her face, wait for the baby sitter, hugs and kisses goodbye, then off to work. The usual routine she had settled herself into.
Feed the baby, because she's hungry and she comes first.
Shower, because she probably has some sort of mystery goo on her from the toddler.
Get dressed, avoid the mirror.  No one wants to be reminded of how much they've changed. The softness she wasn't used to around her lower stomach, hips and thighs. Her breasts no longer as perky as they used to be. The stretchmarks competing with her tattoo's for attention.
Then, the hardest part of the day. "Ok, Briar, Mrs. Anderson is here. Mommy has to go to work. I love you."
"I love you too, Mommy." Briar responded, hugging her mother tight and kissing her cheek before she was sat back down.
"Have a nice day, Miss Warren."
"I hope she's not too much to handle."
"Never is."
Some days, Faye likes to pretend she's ok. Like she has a handle on things. Like she knows what she's doing and not just blindly stumbling through her life while trying to do right by her daughter.
Other days, she would absently push her sleeves up and her eye would catch on the black lines decorating her forearm, just below her elbow. Some days she's reminded that life is a bitch, and you can't always get what you want. On those days she tried to stay out of her own head, though that rarely worked.
She could slap on a smile with the best of them, but she could never force it to reach her eyes. Her face always remained an open book, free for anyone to read. The past creeps up on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it some days. On a bad day, the ghosts of the past will haunt your mind, echoing the worst days of your life into the void of your shattered heart.
"No one is ever going to want you!"
"You're nothing without me!"
"Who wants used goods?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Warren. There was nothing we could do."
Over and over on a seemingly never ending loop, reminding her of the darkest times in her life.
Why would anyone want her? She's not the same hot twenty six year old she used to be. She was soft. She was saggy. She would never be as attractive as she used to be. Anyone in their right mind would turn around and run once they realized how much she had let herself go.
Days like today were best spent keeping people at a distance. Tell them some story about being tired. Avoid anyone that is going to call her out on her obvious lie. Therein lies the problem with dying your hair obnoxious colors. Among a sea of blonde and brunette, powder blue tends to stick out and make it almost impossible to vanish.
Lie your way out of it. Survive another day. Tomorrow might not be better, but at least it won't be the same.
"Mommy, you're back!" The sweetest sound she could hear all day.
"I always come back, my little love." Faye assured, kissing her daughter's head.
Need to care for the baby. She comes first. She deserves the world. Play time. Dinner time. Bath time. Story time. Bed time. The same after work routine she had established months ago when she decided to drop everything and run.
Her daughter thought the world of her. She would do anything to see her smile. She would wear the stupid costume. She would pretend to be a horsey. She would let her daughter use her as a jungle gym. She would make the same dinner again for the third night in a row for her.  So what if she soaked the bathroom floor during bath time? She was a mermaid, and she wanted to show off her tail. Story time, always an adventure with her imaginative little girl. What world would they find themselves in today? Dinosaurs? Princesses? Mythology? A rhyming book?
Ah, yes of course. Her current favorite, the book about the dinosaur cleaning his room. She was a girl obsessed with dinosaurs at the moment.
"Mommy, where's my Papa?" Briar asked, staring intently down at the page depicting a mother and father watching the dinosaur throw away paper scraps.
"Don't worry about him, sweetheart. He wasn't a nice man." Faye explained, resting her cheek on her daughter's head.
"Can I have a new Papa?"
"Maybe someday, sweetheart."
"Can Spider-man be my new Papa?"
"Why do you want Spider-man to be your new Papa?"
"He's my boyfriend!"
"That's not how it works, silly. If he's your boyfriend, he can't also be by boyfriend! Pick another hero!"
"Batman!"
"Well, he is rich." Faye mused, Briar giggling happily. "Now it's time for bed, my love."
"Ok, Mommy. I love you!"
"I love you too, Briar." Faye whispered, kissing her forehead. The nightlight was switched on and the door was left cracked open, just in case. Now for her seldom used free time.
Should she sketch some more? Finish that painting she started forever ago? Ever since she started a "real" job, her art had fallen by the wayside. She was too drained to do much after work and caring of her daughter.
Maybe some drawing will lift her spirits and keep the nightmares at bay tonight. But what to draw? Not in the mood for still life. Brain too fried for something straight from her imagination. Her usual model was sleeping, and her last few self portraits had been a serious blow to her ego. She just drew what she saw in the mirror. Then, when she was finished, she decided she should have worn more clothing before she drew herself. What was supposed to boost her confidence and empower her as a woman instead left her wondering when exactly she developed that roll when sitting in that position.
"Fuck it. I'm drawing a moose." Faye grumbled to herself, turning the page from her self portrait to a blank sheet. Half an hour later when she was trying to remember what a moose's antlers looked like, she finally picked up her phone. Seven unread messages? That seems like a lot. When was the last time she looked at her phone? Oh yeah, when she got home, five hours ago.
All from one person. So she wasn't ignoring everyone at least. Seven messages, all from Henry. Shit. That's not good.
Are you ok?
You seemed off on set today
You didn't even talk to me
Did you at least make it home alright?
Can you send me a sign of life?
I'm sorry if I upset you or something. Can you please talk to me? I'm genuinely worried.
Please?
Well, fuck. Here she was playing unicorn apocalypse with her daughter, and this poor guy was worrying himself to death.
Sorry, I was drawing a moose
Perfect way of saying "I wasn't ignoring you" while also avoiding his persistent questions about her wellbeing. The good old 'drawing a moose' excuse. Works every time.
I think your moose aged me by ten years. Are you ok?
Just had a bad day
Anything I can do to help?
Squeeze me until I stop struggling and my spine snaps
That's called 'murder' Miss Warren
I knew there was a name for it
Is there anything I can do for you that involves less prison?
Nah, if you're not going to take me out, then I'm not interested
I'm not going to take you out by murder. I will take you out on a date.
Faye froze, staring at her phone. He was just playing around, like he always did. No way he was serious. Henry liked to flirt, and she wasn't about to throw herself at him over a joke. She had more dignity than that. So how does she respond? She can't just ignore him, and taking forever to respond is going to give the impression that she was freaking out over what he said.
She was completely freaking out over what he had said, but he didn't need to know that. Was he just looking to get laid or something? Probably. He had gotten pretty close the last time he had been over. There's a difference between dating and screwing, though. He was probably just looking for someone to fuck while waiting for a woman worth his time to come along. Faye was broken out of her thoughts by her phone going off again, alerting her to a new message. Didn't he know she was busy having an existential crisis?
If you're free on Sunday you can come over and show me that moose your working on
*you're
Smart ass
Sunday?
I'll have to see if Mrs. Anderson can watch Briar
Bring her along. She keeps asking me about Kal
Pretty on brand for her
Sunday?
Sunday.
Sunday. What to wear on Sunday? He was probably looking for a little something something for his time, so something slutty? She got rid of all her slutty clothes after she had Briar in a fit of self hatred toward her new mom bod, so that was out. Besides, he wouldn't have invited Briar over too if he was looking to get laid.
So what does one wear on a casual 'date' these days? She had until Sunday to figure that out.
Tag List:  @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny
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