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#painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up
happyk44
·
3 months
Text
percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more
#percy jackson
#bianca di angelo
#she doesn't even have to do it herself
#he is just trapped in the horror of watching someone die and never recovering from the guilt that follows
#like i thin we should talk more about how she was the first permanent death of the series and the first death he really witnessed
#i think he should be more deranged by it tbh
#painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up
#even better if bianca doesn't care. and nico has moved on. so the only person who is stuck in this void of misery about it is percy
#and he can't emerge. no matter what he does no matter the time that passes she is always there in the back of his mind
#a reminder of the first time he failed to protect someone else.
#a reminder of his selfishness. his inability to follow through on promises. of his powerlessness. his uselessness.
#in tbotl he finds out that nico doesn't care about him or his soul. he doesn't want percy dead. and percy is weirdly gutted by this
#he needs nico to hate him and it freaks him out that nico doesn't. he's clearly upset but percy isn't centered in it the way you'd think.
#nico has his own mission and percy is barely a side note in it and he's so bothered by that. it drives him up the wall
#how selfish is it to be upset with someone for not hating you because you got their sister killed?
#he hates himself so much. he wants to die so bad. but he can't. he has to keep going. for nico. for bianca. he doesn't have a choice
#happy talks pjo
#okay it is 3:36am and i am. going to try to sleep now
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