#paddy seems pretty mad so the other guy has to be there to hold him back right ??? a calming/grounding presence ???

[anxiouslowercase]

sas rh: let eoin survive the fall au » training montage (part two)

[spidernerdsblog]

I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Five

A/N: Chapter five is here. The pent up tension between our ex-lovers is getting too much for them to handle. As things get heated up they give in to their feelings momentarily. Are they gonna regret it? Or will this reignite their love giving a new dynamic to their relationship? Y/N has been hiding a secret will she reveal it? What implication will its revelation bring in their lives? I hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome. Let me know what do you think Y/N has been hiding.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader 

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings : fluff, making out.

Mini Playlist : Bad Blood by Taylor Swift, Cheap Thrills by Sia, Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

Tom and El breathing heavily. Tom rolled over to the side placing his hands below his head staring at the ceiling. El scooched into him, placing her hand on his bare chest.

“That was amazing.” El said, letting out a deep breath.

“Hmmm” Tom hummed.

Loud laughter and giggles were heard from your room. As you and Z were literally screaming at the top of your voice singing.

'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done 'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey! Now we've got problems And I don't think we can solve 'em You made a really deep cut And, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

“They are really close aren't they?”

“Yeah they are soul sisters." he chuckled. "Surprisingly Y/N has been with us since childhood but Z seems to know her more than any of us in such a short time.”

“Because we girls understand each other very well mister. There are some things guys will never understand”

“So you are trying to tell me that I don’t understand you”

“I didn’t say that dummy” El laughed lightly slapping on his chest

Tom and El were startled by a loud thud as if someone fell on the floor as they heard you groaning loudly

"Owww!!! My ass!!" you groaned going into fits of laughter. You and Zendaya were pillow fighting as you lost balance and fell.

“You deserve that bitch” Zendaya giggled.

El smiled listening to your banters “Someone is way too excited and happy” she chuckled.

“You know I think they are perfect” looking up to Tom

“Who?”

“Steve and Y/N, they make a perfect couple. She should consider this relationship.”

“I think it's too early to comprehend darling as much as I know her Steve isn’t her type”

“Why not? I mean their personalities complement each other so well; it will in a way benefit both of them professionally too. She is a world class singer and he is such a skilful event manager if they work it out and get married in future you know what I mean.

“Maybe”

Tom turned to his side, his back facing El. He frowned at the thought of seeing you with someone else. But then El's words struck him, he thought what if that guy was trying to befriend you just for his professional gains. He felt he needed to protect you from another heartbreak. He decided in his mind to talk to you about this tomorrow.

You were all having breakfast. Steve had called you saying he will come to pick you at 9. You chose to wear a cute top with your shorts.

“You look cute in that top Y/N” El complimented

“Thanks El”

“Any special reason?” El danced her eyebrows

“Oh nothing” you shrugged.

“I know, Stevey boy is coming to pick her up” Chloe chirped

“Oh shut up” you blushed.

You went to put your plate in the kitchen sink. Tom was already in there. He thought this is the right time to talk to you.

“Umm Y/N I need to talk to you about something”

“Yeah what is it?”

“I think you should keep your distance from that guy. I mean Steve”

“Umm okay I'll give it a thought. But any reason why should I be away?”

“Because I said so.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. Tom scoffed

“Listen Y/N I’m serious. I..I’m just trying to protect you okay”

“I’m not a baby Tom. I can take care of myself but thanks for your concern”

“Look who is here Mr. Johnson” you heard Ed and ran out to meet Steve.

“ Heyyy you.. you look ...pretty” Steve fumbled

“Thanks. You blushed tucking your hair behind your ear. “let's go then”

“Yeah, after you.”

You buckled the extra helmet Steve brought for you and sat down behind him on the bike. He started his bike and pulled the clutch to shift the gear you jolted into him clutching his broad shoulders tightly.

“You did that intentionally didn't you?” narrowing your eyes.

“You weren’t holding on to me tightly darling” Steve gave you a cheesy smile. You rolled your eyes.

You reached the spot in around 20 minutes. Steve led you to the stage.

“Okay so this is your stage rockstar. Whatever you require just tell me I’ll arrange everything”

You slipped your guitar strap around your shoulder as you started rehearsing the chords.

“You know you should start with look what you made me do. That's really a badass song and maybe finish with something soft and romantic. It will be even better if you give a sneak peek of your upcoming album by performing a new song.” Steve suggested

“That’s actually a great idea Steve! Thanks” You continued rehearsing and completely lost track of time. Suddenly you felt a pair of hands around your hips. You smiled. Steve placed his chin on the crook of your neck.

“Hey beautiful! Are you hungry?”

“Yeah a little” you nodded

“Let’s go and grab some lunch then”

“So should I take this as a simple lunch or an official date?” you smirked

“A lunch date maybe” he shrugged with a toothy grin

Back at the house everybody was having lunch.

“Excuse me guys” El ran to the bathroom feeling nauseous and she threw up. Tom ran to her aid. He came out with her carrying her to their room. Everybody was worried.

You were seated at a nearby restaurant. You both were having a good time eating and chatting; your phone dinged the screen flashed Zendaya’s name.

Come back immediately. It’s urgent

“I’m sorry I gotta go something urgent has come up” you got up from your seat apologizing to Steve

“That’s fine love. I’ll drop you” Steve got up too as he took you home.

You reached home around noon. Zendaya had texted you about what had happened. Everyone was sitting in the living room as you entered.

“How is she?” you asked

“She's fine.. taking rest” Sam stated

“So is she pregnant or something?”

“Y/N?!’’ Zendaya elbowed you looking at you with wide eyes.

“What?! I'm serious; the symptoms you told are either indigestion or pregnancy. And please don't tell me that they aren't sexually active because we got the sneak peek yesterday itself."

 “This isn't a joke Y/N” Tom said sternly

 “I'm not joking Tom I will never joke on such a serious topic because I'm very well aware of the implications it brings to a person's life.”

 Zendaya grabbed your hand and shook her head violently, panic in her eyes to stop you from talking further. You understood what she was trying to say and tried to cover up

 “And.. anyways you two are getting married it’s nothing to freak out. I would still recommend her to take the test.”

 “It's okay Y/N. I had my period plus I’m on pills so nothing to worry. It was actually indigestion. Sea food really does not suit me. But I don't think I will be able to go to the beach carnival with you guys, still feeling a little unwell.” El said as she came down the stairs.

 “It's okay babe you take rest I'll stay with you” Tom went up to her as he ran his hand on her back in a soothing way.

 “No Tom, you should go, why miss out on the fun for me.”

 “It's okay El nothing is more important than you in my life.” Tom held her hands placing light kisses on them.

 “I know bubs and your happiness is my first priority, so go and enjoy for my sake.” Tom didn’t extend the conversation any further and agreed to her.

Now you felt nauseous looking at their cliche tooth rotting romance. You blew out your cheeks and turned towards Steve who was standing at your back.

“Okay then see tomorrow” you hugged each other.

“Yeah bye darling” Steve left

Everyone went to their rooms to get ready for the carnival. Tom was dressing up as suddenly your words reverberated in his mind. He couldn't make any sense out of your words. What did you mean by the implication of pregnancy in a person's life and why did Z abruptly shut you up. He felt as if you both were hiding something.

 “Seriously Y/N were you out of your mind?! You were just going to spill everything out.” Zendaya lashed out.

 “I know I'm sorry. I just don't know what came over me.” you sat on the bed covering your face with your hands.

 “I know babe but you gotta be careful. It's a secret you chose to hatch it down in the darkest corner of your heart, can't let it spill unless you want it otherwise ."

 You went and hugged her tightly tears rolling down your eyes

 "What would I do without you" you sobbed

 "You'll always have me by your side darling, okay now cheer up and let's get ready.”

............................

You all came out of the house. Two cars were already parked outside. You immediately ran towards Harrison's car.

“I'm taking the front seat"You opened the door and sat.

Harrison, Zendaya, Harry and Paddy sat on the back seats

“Who's gonna drive?” you asked confused

Then you saw Tom with the car keys as he opened the door and you both momentarily glanced at each other as he sat on the driver's seat.

You divert your attention outside the window as you feel a tension arise between you two.

 As Tom drove the car an eerie silence prevailed. It started to get kinda boring so to lighten up the mood you turned on the car's stereo and connected your phone.

 Cheap thrill starts playing

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Friday night and I won't be long Gotta do my hair, put my make up on It's Friday night and I won't be long)

 Everyone cheered and started grooving to the music.

 ('Til I hit the dance floor

Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 Turning a little to your side you took out your phone and started recording everyone singing and grooving. Tom occasionally glanced at you.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing)

 Unbuckling your seat belt so you got up and kneeled on your seat facing backwards. As you all continued lip syncing loudly and vibing in the car. Tom kept his straight face all the time.

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Saturday and I won't be long Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on It's Saturday and I won't be long)

'Til I hit the dance floor Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash

I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 A sharp turn came as you all jolted to the right side. You almost lost balance, one hand holding tightly on the head rest of your seat and another grasping on Tom's shoulder. He held your hand tightly to prevent you from losing balance, giving you a stern look. You knew that look very well, he used to give you that look when you were being a brat. You felt a little intimidated and straightened yourself and sat properly again.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing

I don't need no money As long as I…….. Song continues

 Reaching the carnival you were overcome with nostalgia so many sweet memories you had of this place. Everyone got out of the cars and went in different directions. Out of habit you waited for Tom to park the car and then go inside. When you both entered the carnival ground none of your friends could be seen.

 “Guess what our friends ditched us” you pressed your lips together frowning

“I guess so." Tom twisted his lips looking around then turning back to you

"Okay, stay right here I’ll be back in a minute”

“But.. but why? Where are you going now?” you asked confused, tom trailed off in the crowd.

“Huh!” you scowled “am I so bad that he hates to spend a little time with me” you thought. You looked around and thought going into the stalls checking out the stuff. You eventually went when a sparkly pair of earrings caught your eyes. Taking it in your hands you placed them in front of your ears checking in the mirror if they look nice or not.

“I told you to stay right?” you heard Tom say from the back.

“I'm literally near the spot you left me.” You tried to reason.

“Okay here take this.” He handed you a grilled corn. Your face instantly lit up  

“Hey thanks.”  You cheerfully bite into the corn.

 Tom hadn't noticed earlier but now when he saw you carefully your necklace caught his eye it's the same black dahlia necklace he gifted you after filming far from home. A smile crept on his face at the fact that after so many years you had kept it.

You looked up to find him smiling at you “What?” You asked

“Nothing” he shook his head.

It didn't escape Tom's eyes the way you were staring at those sparkly earrings and he instantly knew you wanted them but you were confused if it would be worth buying.

 "You like them?"

 “Huh? Oh no just looking" you shrugged off

 “Oh don't lie to me I know how much of a fetish you have for earrings"

 He immediately asked the seller to pack those for you as he took out his wallet to pay.

 “You know I can pay for myself” you commented

 He grinned "Oh don't worry you can pay me back later by cash or you know by the kindness of your pretty little"

 “You finish that line and I’m gonna kick you in your balls Thomas” you were so done with his snarky comments; you were fuming as you stomped away from him.

 "Hey Y/N! Wait for me!" You picked up your pace. Tom ran to catch up with you. He stood in front of you blocking your way.

 “Here you go" he handed you the small gift bag.

“In no circumstance I'm taking that" crossing your hands and turning your face away annoyed  

“Hey, hey listen” he tried to hold your hands stepping closer.

“Don't touch me” you swatted him away

“Okay feisty pants, calm down” he stepped back raising his hand in the air in defeat.

"Oh come on Y/N I was just joking I'm sorry. Here take this. Pleaaase" he pouted.

"Go and give that to El I’m sure she will pay you back nicely like she did last night." You taunted.

"I don’t switch gifts meant for someone else moreover El isn't much of a fan of my gifts she says my taste is like an old man. She would totally figure out I did’t choose these."

“That’s true you are an old man.” corner of your mouth quirked up. Tom stretched his hand to give you the bag you took it lazily.

“Are we cool now?”

“Yeah sort of.” You gave a half shrug.

“Let's do something like old times then shall we?” Tom proposed

“Yeah fine by me anyways our best friends have ditched us so we are stuck with each other.”

You both went to try out different rides in the carnival. You enjoyed the roller coaster the most. After the ride you both sat down on a nearby bench to rest. Meanwhile you were deciding what to do next.

 “Wanna have some ice cream?” Tom offered

“Have you ever heard me saying no to ice cream?”you smirked

“Okay wait and don't go anywhere this time.” He disappeared in the crowd. You sat on the bench scrolling through your phone.

“Boo!!” Tom grabbed your shoulders from the back. You were startled, almost dropping your phone .

“God! You scared me” you gasped

He chuckled “here you go darling" he handed you your ice cream. Your heart swelled up by the fact that he still remembered your favorite flavour combo by heart one scoop of chocolate and cookies & cream with lots of extra choco chips.

You both started walking, licking on to your ice creams, your bodies brushed against each other occasionally as you both glanced into the stalls. Tom carefully watched you, the way you licked the ice cream made his mind wander to inappropriate places making him smile internally. You both were passing in front of a gaming stall.

 "Wanna win something for your girl?" the owner of the stall threw the question towards Tom.

 “Oh no he has a very bad aim” you tried to get away from there as you always thought these games are just a waste of money.

 “What! I can aim." Tom retorted widening his eyes.

 “No you can't" you argued "And these games are rigged you know that very well Tom" you muttered in his ears.

 "What do you want babe?”

“Babe?? " you gave him a puzzled look.

“Just tell me.”

“Okay that big bunny which you always failed to get to me.” You challenged him.

Tom paid the money he had three chances to throw the ring on the small replica of bunny.

“After you lose don’t tell me I didn’t warn you” you quipped

“Yeah, yeah will see that. And if I win, what is my reward?”

“Of course the big bunny that’s what you paid for, idiot” you grinned.

In the first throw he completely missed it.

"See! I told you it was a waste of money" you complained

"Oh! Y/N just let me concentrate" he huffed

The second throw was almost close, you both groaned frustrated. The third throw was a kind of prestige fight for Tom because he knew you were gonna mock him all his life if he loses. You on the other hand were tense crossing your fingers you wished he would win. Tom threw the ring and it went in the exact spot you both cheered, throwing your hands up in the air and hugged each other tightly. Pulling away soon but you felt a slight pull as you noticed the chain of your necklace had tangled with his spider man necklace. Tom struggled to untangle it, you swatted his hand.

"Stop pulling it dumbo, you are going to break the necklace" you grumbled

Tom felt warmth filling his heart seeing you so possessive about the necklace.You stepped closer and slowly tried untying the knot. Both of your breath hitched. After a few seconds you untangled your chains. The seller handed Tom the stuffed bunny.

“Here you go princess” Tom handed it over to you.

“Thanks.” You took it hugging it tightly. You were now more comfortable with each other giggling and laughing in each other's company. Anybody could mistake you both as a lovely couple. Unknowingly you were now holding hands and walking across the carnival.

“Picture for the beautiful couple?" a photographer from a photo studio chirped around from the corner.

“Oh no no we are not..” Tom cut you off

“Yeah sure why not”

“But tom..”

“Come on Y/N it will be fun”

You reluctantly went inside the studio and tried different costumes. You both posed and clicked some silly photos of yourselves.

Finally you caught sight of the rest of your gang, both of you rushed to them still holding hands.

“Hey where were you guys?” you asked

“Hey aah..” Zendaya stopped halfway to look at you, your hand hooked on to Tom’s arm furrowing, her eyes all skeptical.

You both followed her gaze as you realised, you leave each other's hands feeling awkward looking away.

“So what's with the bunny?”

“Oh it's for El Tom won it as a souvenir for her as she couldn't make it.” You lied.

“You guys wanna go on the Ferris wheel? it will be fun to watch the fireworks from up there”

“Nah we are good down here plus we are hungry.”

“Okay then we are going for the Ferris wheel. Will meet you at the parking lot after that.”

You queued up and waited for your turn to buy the tickets. You turned back a little girl caught your attention, she was glancing at you both mostly Tom curiously with her doe eyes. You thought she must have recognised Tom. Tom looked back too. He waved his hand towards her with a smile.

She tugged on her mother’s dress and whispered.

“Mommy, look spider-man” her mother turned her gaze towards you and gave out a light shriek

“Oh my god! Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!! I’m a huge fan of both of you”

You both smiled.

"I'm Claudia nice to meet you"

“Hello.. nice to meet you too” you both greeted the lady

“Where’s MJ? Are you spider-man’s new girlfriend?” the little girl chirped. You and Tom looked at each other chuckling.

“Ssshh!! Don’t tell MJ” you joked. The little girl frowned. You crouched in front of her as you caressed her cheek.

“I'm kidding honey I’m not spider man's new girlfriend I’m his best friend. What’s your name little miss?”

“Vienna”

“That’s a beautiful name Vienna”

“You are so big but you still play with bunnies?” she asked you innocently

Tom stifled a laugh hearing that. You looked at him narrowing your eyes.

“No one is too old for bunnies honey. And this was given to me by someone I love so can’t throw it away can I?" Vienna nodded in approval. You glanced up to Tom.

“Can we take a selfie?” Claudia asked

“Yeah sure why not?” Tom picked up Vienna in his arms as you all cuddled close to take a selfie.

“I heard you are going to perform, is it true?”

“Yes I’m.” You confirmed

“Great!!! Looking forward to attending your concert.”

“I’ll be eager to see you guys in the audience”

"Hey Y/N! come here it's our turn." You heard Tom calling you

"Okay see you guys in the concert bye. Bye Vienna."

Tom had already bought the tickets while you were talking. You got up in your cabin. Sitting close to each other shoulders brushing in the cramped space, it was nothing new though for you two but now the circumstances have changed. The wheel rotated for a couple of times and then it halted as the fireworks were about to begin. Your cabin was at the top so you could get the best view.

“You did this?” you quirked your eyebrow

“Nothing a little extra tip can’t do” he winked. “Wait a minute, it's gonna get better.” He took out his phone and played one of your favorite songs which both of you used to hear.

Perfect starts playing

(I found a love for me Darling, just dive right in And follow my lead Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet I never knew you were the someone waiting for me)

“It feels as if we are teenagers again.” You giggled

The fireworks began as you looked up in the sky in awe. Tom was looking at you the whole time. He had missed your heart warming smile all these years and he felt happy that he was the reason behind your smile. You turned to him to find him already gazing at you with his soft brown eyes.

“I really missed this you know” you gave a tight lipped smile.

“You like it?” he asked softly

“I like it?! I love it!!!” You said excitedly

('Cause we were just kids when we fell in love Not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time Darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own And in your eyes, you're holding mine)

Tom's eyes never left you. You cuddled close leaning on his chest to look at the fireworks show his hand around your shoulder. He felt heat rushing to his ears his chest pounding as he leaned his head above yours to look up at the colourful night sky.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight)

You felt butterflies in your stomach under his gaze so you straightened yourself looking at him timidly. The atmosphere felt heavy as both of you felt a strong magnetic pull luring both of you. Your body was slightly turned towards him. Your hair blowing in the gentle night breeze.

(Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets To carry love, to carry children of our own)

He himself turned a little facing you, his hands slipped down to rest on your hips as he drew you in. His warm breath falling on your face. He gently brushed away the hair falling on your face tugging it behind your ear and rested his hand on the side of your face caressing your cheek with his thumb. Both lost in each other's eyes. You gazed into his warm brown eyes which were full of love. His eyes flickered between your eyes and to your slightly parted lips. Your faces were just a few millimetres apart, warmth blossomed in your chest, sparks igniting as Tom leaned in close, lips brushing together.

(We are still kids, but we're so in love Fightin' against all odds I know we'll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand Be my girl, I'll be your man I see my future in your eyes)

Tom pulled you close, deepening the kiss your lips were soft he could taste the chocolate ice cream you had on your lips. You shivered and let out a soft moan. To your surprise you were kissing him back, you felt his warm mouth on yours and closed your eyes, your hands subconsciously went around his neck tugging on to his soft curls. He groaned into the kiss.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, listenin' to our favorite song When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight)

A strong passion taking over both of you as you frantically kissed each other. Like the first drops of rain brings relief to a rain deprived parched land you both felt the same way, an euphoric bliss, as if you were thirsty for ages and finally the thirst is being quenched. A million emotions of love, lust, desire surged in your bodies. Neither of you wanted to stop, you just wanted to savour this moment.

(Oh, no, no Mm

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person And she looks perfect No, I don't deserve this You look perfect tonight)

 The world seemed oblivious for both of you. Both were brought back to your senses when the wheel started to move again. You slowly broke the kiss still in a haze. Your foreheads resting against each other as you both were gasping for air. You looked into his eyes, a panic strike both of you, you immediately pulled away trying to avoid each other's gaze as you looked over the illuminated town. Part of your mind felt so good and didn't want it to end but the other part reminded you constantly that whatever happened was so wrong. The cabin descended down your heart still beating at an alarming rate you tried to calm yourself placing a hand on your chest. The cabin squeaked as it halted, Tom bent low to squeeze out through the small door of the cabin. Wordlessly, he helped you step out of it. It was time to go back so you started walking back to the parking lot. Not a word was spoken between you two throughout the whole walk.

“Oh the love birds are finally back.” Harry joked

Your heartbeat quickened at his remark as you gave a death glare to him.

“Okay sorry, sorry my bad.”

“Haz can you sit in the front? I want to sit with Z at the back.” You almost begged.

“Yeah sure no problem love.”

You sat silently. Tom looked at you through the rear view mirror as he started the car.

“What happened? You look all flushed out are you okay? Zendaya asked concerned

“Did you guys fight over there or what?” Harrison asked, rolling his eyes.

“No nothing like that, just tired actually.The rides were really fun.”

So let's continue the fun. Harrison turned on the car stereo and played from his Playlist.

 Break My Heart starts playing...

(I've always been the one to say the first goodbye Had to love and lose a hundred million times Had to get it wrong to know just what I like Now I'm fallin')

Everyone started singing. Zendaya nudged you a little, giving you a questioning look, you nodded your head to assure her everything was okay , smiling and joined them.

(You say my name like I have never heard before I'm indecisive but this time I know for sure I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all Are you fallin'?)

You glanced at Tom through the rear view mirror pressing your lips together in a thin line. You had a lot of questions in your mind. You wanted to ask Tom why? Why did you do that? What does this mean to you Tom? Why couldn’t you control yourself from giving into the kiss?

(Center of attention You know you can get whatever you want from me Whenever you want it, baby It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me If I would've known it, baby)

The air felt suffocating, your throat felt dry as you were sweating. Your mind kept drifting to that heated moment on the Ferris wheel, subconsciously nibbling your lower lip. The whole incident was wrecking your mind.

(I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

 You now seriously regret coming here; you really should have stayed at home you thought. That face, that damn face will be the death of you one day, it makes you go weak on your knees. You can't be falling in for him again when you know that a heart break is inevitable.

 (I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind

Two can play that game, but you win me every time Everyone before you was a waste of time Yeah, you got me)

 Tom himself was having a hard time to concentrate on driving his hands all sweaty. You were all on his mind. As he looks at you through the mirror his eyes instantly goes to your plump rosy lips which he was sucking a few moments ago as if his life depends on it. He just wanted to pull you around a corner and feel your soft lips again.

 (Center of attention

You know you can get whatever you want from me

Whenever you want it, baby

It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me)

This time you caught him staring at you a chill ran down your spine. He immediately looked away face turning red; heat crept up your cheeks turning pink.

(If I would've known it, baby

I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

.......... Song continues

 As you reached home you waited for everyone to get out of the car and go inside.

“Here take this.” You handed out the stuffed bunny to Tom

“It's for you love not for El and you know that very well.”

“Hmm” you hummed looking into his eyes, many unsaid words were spoken.

You both went up the stairs. Standing in front of your rooms you glanced at each other for one last time and went inside.

“I thought that was for El.” Zendaya pointed out at the stuffed toy.

“Yeah I'll give it to her tomorrow.”

“Now you are going to lie to me too" Zendaya scoffed

"I know it is for you. Mind telling me what's going on between you two?”

“Nothing, nothing is going on. Wha.. What makes you think that? You stammered

“Nothing, just you have been acting strange through the whole ride back home.” Zendaya frowned; she knew something was up with you two.

“Oh I must be tired that's why I guess.” You let out fake yawn.

The night was going to be long for you and Tom as you were still hot and bothered needing some sort of relief but none of you are going to get it tonight.

.....................................................................

Taglists: to be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyparkerstark  @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811  @awhollandx @joyleenl@itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpoei @astridcomming

[fndmxreader]

TITLE :   let’s just pretend . PAIRINGS :   chuck shurley x reader.     INSPO : if I'm honest what I liked were the things we didn't know, every morning, every night - i'll be beating down your door, just to tell you what i'm thinking but you'd already know. screw this, I don't wanna let go. 

    AS THE HIGH AND MIGHTY LAID FOUND THEIR PLACE ON THE GROUND,   CHEST COULDN’T HELP BUT ACHE .       he looked pathetic,    curled up in the sand essentially begging for death by the hands of his FAVORITE PROJECTS,   but even with the current display,    with the light shining down on the situation making it seem more morbid than before  ...   you still loved him,   loved him in a way that had your foot press forward,    wanting to reach out,  wanting to help the man that even now,  as a mortal with wisdom beyond that of the universe,   held your entire life in the palm of his hands  .  perhaps it was foolish to cling to the good memories,  the far and few in between,  but the ones that happened were so intoxicating that it kept you going throughout the years  .    they kept heart full and hope alive,  even with the world lived in .

   THAT BEING SAID,  YOU WERE NO FOOL .    you were willing to look at the big picture,  he toyed with both you and the winchesters,  an adopted sister by bond,   everything that happened to you and your family was the result of a man seeing you all as nothing but dolls,  little play things for his own entertainment  .   but you were always the one for second chances,  several creatures had once said it would be your downfall,   but could things really get any worse  ?  there was nothing,  everything was done,  public enemy number one was now crumbled like the great walls of rome...   so what would come from leaving a man in the sand except having a heavy conscious and an eye for an eye revenge that would make the world stop spinning for good  ?    

   “ LETS GO,  Y/N  “  deans words seemed far away,    yet the firm touch on shoulder proved that it was merely down to mind working over time .   there’s a sharp inhale from you,  hand raising to place over the others .   eyes dragging away from chucks to find yourself stood at the door of the impala,  it didn’t seem right,  none of this did .    your name is repeated,  by sam this time .  it’s the final pull for eyes to dance up to your brothers,  a broken smile not helping but appear on lips .  

  “ I CAN’T “   the questionable looks turned to knowledgeable pretty quickly,   before they can argue you quickly decide to elaborate,  “  I KNOW,  but i just can’t leave him,  guys .   i know what he’s done,  but  - “  chest aches once more,  a little more violent this time,  and you dare not look behind you to the man in question .   his head tilted at the scene in front of him,   slowly dragging himself to his knees .    

   “ AFTER EVERYTHING HE’S DONE,  Y/N .  your little school girl crush seriously can’t be taking over your rationality,  you’re smarter than this “  words rough,   argumentative  -  but you hear the undertone,  he’s tired,  he’s so exhausted and just wants to close the book their in for good .  he’s been through so much,  you all have .   it’s reasonable for him to be mad at the the very cause of all your misery  .    

   “ DEANS RIGHT,   you’ve always been known for giving creatures a second chance,  i’m right there with you  .  but this is one that doesn’t deserve sympathy “  sams voice is like a sharpened knife gliding against skin,  his words were too true and they caused the distress building up tug at your heart and make itself known  .  

   “  I -  I KNOW  .  you both have every right to be mad at me,  but  -  i can’t,  i can’t walk away from this .  my business with him isn’t finished “  the words certainly don’t come easily,  but your eyes are wide and desperate for their approval  “  let me do this,  i’ll call you in a few days,  i promise “  they don’t even have the energy to fight,  they will later,  when you turn up in the bunker with a weak smile  -  that’s when they’ll yell,  kick and scream  .  but for now,  they’re tired  .  

   “  OKAY “  sam finally says after the telepathic conversation between the three of you,  his arms opening up and not hesitating to pull you into a hug “  jack,  he’s POWERLESS right  ?  “  they’ve already had the confirmation,  but he needs to hear it again,  he knows dean does too .  when the answer they were looking for comes,  they’re slightly relaxed,  they know you can take care of yourself  .    sam lets go,  it’s deans turn now  - muttering how much this is a bad idea,  once again reinforcing how such a smart girl can be stupid .   when deans weak paddy is over,  you waste no time bringing back into a hug too  .  this is not goodbye for any of you,    this chapter you’re going on is just one that doesn’t involve the winchesters,  it’s your own  .      your eyes watch the impala pull away,  honking from dean that has a smile pulling at lips  ;  your own hand raises to forehead and offers a salute,   see you later  .  

   “  WHY DID YOU STAY  ?  “   chucks voice is filled with nothing but confusion,  his eyebrows creasing in the middle .  you’re another one who never failed to surprise him,    though unlike the winchesters,  you never actually disappointed him  .   it was hard to stay mad at someone who radiated hope and light,  it blinded even him at times  .  

   “  I’M STUPID “  you dare not say the truth,  that you loved him and your existence seemed bleak without the ( now ex ) god in it .  luckily your back is turned when saying this,  so you hope your voice doesn't give too much away .  turning on heel once spoken and wasting no time inching towards him and falling to your own knees .  wincing at the cuts and bruises there from what chuck did  (  he never hurt you,  just threw very hard,  a mercy to what he did to your brothers  )  -    your hands cup his face,   thumbs trailing under his eyes,  he’s been crying  -  probably the panic,  the realization of being moral no doubt  “  did you not want me to stay ?  “  

   CHUCK WANTS TO LAUGH .  not at you per say,  just at the situation as a whole,   between the way his rapid beating heart flutters in chest and the way your gentle hands seem to give him a taste of heaven,  he was a mess .   though all things considered,  he feels like he’s holding it together pretty well   “  i did .  i’ve always wanted you to stay  - “   his hands raise,  softly taking your wrists and pulling them away from face .  his hands cupping the back of yours,  thumb gently massaging your palm  “  about everything that - “  

   “  DON’T “  gentle but forceful,  urging the man to his feet,  it takes a moment as he’s still winded,  seemingly like a baby deer learning to walk again  “  we have a long time to talk about that  “  

   " WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO  ? "  you don't even know yourself,  and you have a feeling that chuck is aware of that  .  your breath is shaking as you try and gather thoughts,  eyes never leaving his as your heart hammers in your chest,  tongue rolling over chapped lips as they part,  what did you want to do  ?

   " ... LET'S JUST PRETEND,   just for a little while  "    pretend that what happened didn't, that everything chuck did never took place,  that he wasn't a god with control over the world .  that the last couple of decades didn't happen, that he's still the prophet you fell in love with.  pretend,  pretend like he had for the last trillion years .     

   " I CAN DO THAT "   it's what he's best at,  but he never really wanted to pretend with you .  it was just a necessity,  a way to keep the story flowing .  so he'll pretend once more,  if that's what you wish  -  but the facade wont last,  not again .  

[sweetlyocs]

sunshine

«part three» pairing: tom holland x reader / sam holland x reader / abusive ex! x reader / twaine x reader (platonic) / harrison osterfield x reader (platonic) / holland family x reader  word count: 4.3k+ warnings: this chapter is incredibly long and does mention physical and mental abuse, please if you are sensitive to these subjects proceed with caution. also anger and blood is present in this writing. do not read if you are very sensitive to these subjects.  a/n: here we finally have the next chapter! it has taken so freaking long for this to come out but my laptop and wifi are finally working together.. so please enjoy. also if you would like to be added to the tagslist please let me know 

The room was filled with chatter, lights were beaming and complimentary champagne was being popped. Walking around the room it felt like you were being pulled in every direction. Stand here and take photos. Pose under this lighting. Compliment this couple. Thank this guest for taking the time to come out again this year. It was a never ending performance. There was one lingering thought in the back of your mind though, where was Sam? Was he still here? No, he had to be.. it was his charity that was up for nomination..

You missed him. You wanted to be standing and joking with the boys.. you wanted to be with them, not with these strangers in suit and tie. Your eyes were searching every corner of the room trying to make sense as to where he could be.

Hidden away in the corner you could see the smiling face of Harry. You knew that they were still here. Their moods weren’t sour too so surely Sam hadn’t spilled the beans. But what if he had.. what if Sam told them.. what if they knew that your torso had markings that you couldn’t explain? They weren’t stupid. They knew you better than you knew yourself..

Lost in your own mind you didn’t feel nor hear Haydon, one of the mentors of Elite approaching you,

“Angel, darling there you are! I’ve been searching absolutely everywhere for you! We need to get a photo of you with the lads from The Brothers Trust. Come along now, I think Antonio has set up where he want’s your picture.”

Haydon kept talking about all the amazing things that were happening with the team, the new choreography, new songs, new shows yet you couldn’t bring yourself to pay attention to the words falling from his lips.

“Ah the darling Angel from above! Where have you been keeping your beautiful self hmm?”

Antonio was a simple man, a simple extravagant and eccentric man but one with a heart of gold and skills with a camera that you had yet to meet a close competitor of. Smiling you opened your arms to him, offering four air kisses to him,

“You know how these things are Antonio.. meeting people, complementing – anything and everything right”

You both shared a quick laugh as you turned to the Holland boys. Your eyes cast themselves slowly over each of them, their suits complimenting each of them to the smallest detail. Paddy was the first to approach you,

“yn you look super pretty. The most beautiful lady here, next to mum of course” Pulling him into your arms you squeezed him, kissing the top of his head as he bent to meet you.

Harry was soon to follow, bringing you into his arms and having you give him a crazy pose as he pretended to take pictures of you, both of you laughing and sharing small inside jokes about being posh.

Your attention turned to Sam, trying to catch his eye just to have him ignore you as he pulled out his phone.. you could feel the weight of the situation truly begin to hit you. Sam was upset with you, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to fix it. Not here.

Tom was fast to pull you to his side, he kissed your cheek. His eyes seemed to sparkle under the lights of the ballroom.

“You look absolutely breath taking sweetheart. No I’m being serious don’t laugh at me.. you look like you stepped off the runway from heaven. I definitely understand why they call you Angel”

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.. shaking your head you kissed his cheek and held onto Tom’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh shushh.. when did you decide to become a prince charming hmm?”

The sound of someone clicking to their fingers brought you and Tom out of your own conversation, turning you could see Antonio with a devious smirk on his face.

“My dream couple no? Look at how you two compliment each other! So beautiful, Tom we must organise you to come to PB and have you shoot with our sweet Angel here yes? Yes!”

“What’s PB?” came Tom’s confused voice, letting out a laugh you opened your mouth to explain when a voice suddenly cut you off.

“It’s Photo Booth dumbass. Where the Elite members do their photoshoots? But you wouldn’t know that, you’ve never had to be there when your sweetheart was doing a shoot.”

Sam’s voice brought a chilling suffocation to the air that was flowing around you all. His voice held a vicious underlying tone, as he stood there rolling his eyes at his brothers question as if it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.

“Sam..” your voice called out. He was mad at you but Tom didn’t mean anything wrong by it. Sam could take his anger out on you, fine. You would deal with that. But not here. Not with all these people around you.

Sam’s eyes connected with yours. He was challenging you to say more, but you were never one to back down. You felt your stance become hardened. Your head was being held taller, your shoulders rolled back and tensed. He challenged you and you were daring him to continue.

“Let’s get this picture now..” Haydon’s voice breaking through your challenge. Paddy was lost, Tom had moved his hand from your own to your waist, holding tighter with every passing second like a partner would in a dangerous situation. Harry had slightly separated himself from you all as he made a calling motion to Harrison and Twaine in case anything else happened and Sam needed to be separated from the rest of you.

“Yes, picture time” came Antonio’s voice.

“Okay, little Holland, stand with Sam, it’s Sam right?”

Nodding his head as confirmation to Antonio’s question, he moved to the side to let Paddy stand with him,

“Yes, that’s good, turn a little, little more.. perfect! Tom, handsome name, always loved that name.. Now turn to the right a little, keep your arm around her waist, yes! Now my camera man, stand next to Angel there.. turn your chest right and waist a little left.. no, no not like that you’ll hurt yourself.. Angel do you mind”

You quickly turned your body out of Tom’s embrace to fix Harry’s stance and sent a soft smile to both Harrison and Twaine as they stood to the side with Nikki and Dom who had also appeared.

“Perfect, you always know what I want my precious, now back to your spot, that’s it. Now you know how I love you to look when I shoot you, yes brilliant! Okay, one.. two.. perfect! Now another! Smiles please! Bigger, yes! Now give us your perfect carefree and effortless I-don’t-give-a-damn look, amazing!”

As Antonio kept sending suggestions and compliments you slipped back into your stage state of mind. Smile, follow direction, execute, put on a show, put up a front, provide a picture perfect version of yourself.

As the continuous loop of flash was beginning to die down, you were caught off-guard. There was a flash of something that appeared in the corner of your vision. Turning out of Tom’s arm you felt yourself let out a shuddering breath.

The laughter of Antonio and Tom fell away, as did the hushed harsh whispers of Harry, Twaine and Harrison at Sam. Surely he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t dare, would he?

 Sam was growing frustrated as he was stuck listening to the lads go on and on about how he had been in a bad mood since he arrived. How he was being harsh and rude. How he needed to get his head out of his ass blah, blah, blah. But as he was trying to tune their voices out he saw you begin to slip away. He could see you becoming tense again, but this time it was like something was gripping you, growing tighter and tighter around your body. Your hands were beginning to shake as they fell from open to closed fists. You were looking at something, something that he couldn’t see. Whatever it was, you were worried. He wasn’t mad per say. Hurt was the main emotion. He was hurt that he couldn’t protect you. Hurt that you were suffering. He was hurt that you never went to him. That you never reached out.. he saw those bruises, they were faded. How many more had you endured was what he was wondering.

 As you made your way towards the body across the room, you could feel the air around you shift. It wasn’t light, or welcoming. It wasn’t safe and it had a harsh, burning grip to it.

“What are you doing here Jace..”

As he turned to you, your body couldn’t help but shiver. He didn’t look like a monster, but most monsters now a days didn’t. He had a charming smile, green eyes that looked like the richest field that grew the most beautiful flowers. His face was one that would charm any person, his arms were something of a dream. The kind you dreamed of to hold you, keep you safe and away from harm. He was the perfect boyfriend. And that was why you fell in love with him. Why you stayed, he had his bad days, but everyone did. But not everyone would strike fear into your heart when you were worried that you did something wrong by the way that they breathed. Or folded clothes away. No, he was a monster disguised as a heroic prince who would come and sweep you off your feet.

“We need to talk. Now.”

His smile hid the meaning of his words. But you could hear the threatening tone, his hand reached for your wrist as he held it in an iron grip.

“I saw you. Over there with those guys, with that actor. Who do you think you are? Hmm? Why are you off pretending like you haven’t got a boyfriend. Saw those other guys too, the two of them waiting at the side to get a piece of the action. I trusted you to come here, to be smart. I’m glad no one told you I arrived – let’s go talk. Now.”

 Sam was still lost, trying to figure out who it was you were talking with and why you were closing your eyes so tightly. Were you sick? Did he hurt you that badly that you were trying not to cry?

“Mate fucking listen to us would you!”

Harrison’s harsh tone cut his thoughts off as he stood in front of him.

“What the hell is going on with you why ar-“

“Who was that”

Sam was quick to cut off his twin brother, he couldn’t see you anymore.

“Who was who Sam? What are you going on about” Twaine was incredibly lost, first Sam was in a mood, then he was ignoring you, next he was acting as if someone had taken something from him. He was worse then you were after a long day with no proper food, zero attention and frothing for a nap.

“That guy, the one sunshine just walked away from us for..” Sam was confused, you wouldn’t just walk away, you hadn’t even said hi to the other two guys.

“Oh so now she’s sunshine is she?” Tom’s accusing tone broke into the conversation,

“Because last time I saw, she was trying to get you to look at her and you opened up your phone to start texting someone. Sam get back here!”

Sam pushed his way through the guys, trying to locate you. The shift in his mood and body language was beginning to concern them all, as was the talk of some guy that they didn’t know nor see.

“She’s always been my sunshine, she will forever be my sunshine, you don’t know a damn thing Tom.”

 As you were pulled into a separate room the grip on your arm seemed to grow tighter and tighter. Jace kept mumbling under his breath about how much you had hurt him, and how much he had sacrificed for you. Throwing your arm out of his grasp he shoved the door,

“Well,” he turned to face you, his eyes were beginning to darken even more,

“Care to explain yourself then?”

Rubbing your wrist you took a second to gather yourself,

“What am I explaining to you Jace? I haven’t done anything wrong! I was posing, as directed, with the founders of a charity nominated to be sponsors of my team. That’s all..”

Jace let out a laugh, it was a mechanical and menacing kind of laugh.. something you’d expect from a scary film..

“I saw you! I saw you hugging them, and kissing them! I saw you blushing and that, that.. ACTOR holding your waist! You were flirting, like some common whore. A cheating whore. You were trying to cheat on me, weren’t you? Weren’t you!”

You could feel your body begin to shake, you wanted to run but you knew. You knew as soon as you would move he would jump. You were terrified, how in the world were you going to escape Jace..

"Jace.. Jace I swear to you, I'm just friends with them. Tom was just doing what Antonio said he was ju-"

"Don't you dare try to push the blame, YOUR blame onto someone else do you understand me!" His voice felt like it shook the room, how were you meant to get out of here.. where were your superhero's when you really needed them..

 Sam was beginning to get worried, extremely worried. He knew you wouldn't just up and leave the room, not only because it wasn't in your character to be rude but just because he knew how much these gala's did for the team, for the academy.

"Mate, what is going on and who is this guy you're going on about?"

Harry was beyond confused, he just couldn't wrap his head around what the hell was going through his brothers mind.

"Jace is hitting her.." Sam's voice was barely a whisper, he squeezed his eyes shut to block out the light. Saying it aloud made it all real,

"What? Sam you can't just throw accusations out like that" Tom was in disbelief, surely his brother was out of his mind.

All the guys started murmuring to themselves and each other, saying words like unbelievable and insanity. Sam was losing his patience, he wasn't lying. He saw your bruises, he saw your fear. The fear on your face when he found out, it was like the fear when there was a large bang.. or a plate smashing. You would flinch every time you felt someone rub up against you in certain ways, but as soon as you could see their face you would relax.. it was the same fear he saw on your face as you talked to that guy...

"No," Sam shook his head, how could he be so blind? How could he have not gotten it sooner.. Jace was here. Jace was with you.

"No no no no no no no no! Where is she! Where is yn!" Sam felt like he was losing his mind, what if you were hurt? What if he never saw you again? What if something had happened..

"What? Sam what's goin on?" Twaine could see Sam beginning to spiral, something was beyond wrong.

"Jace, he's here. He must've been who yn was talking with.. Twaine she looked so scared.. God where are they!"

Sam began weaving his way clumsily through the crowd, his brothers, Harrison and Twaine all hot on his heels. Tom taking the extra time to apologise whenever Sam would run into people, making up excuses on the fly.

As the lads all began to break out of the crowd and walk closely to the walls and shut doors, Harrison made a waving motion, a door wasn't completely shut closed.. and the yells of anger inside and whimpers of fear were crystal clear..

 "-VER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WOULD I DO THIS TO YOU! You are a disgusting, vile, pathetic and useless human being. You get that!" Jace looked like he had been laying in the sun for days by the shade of red on his face. His veins were popping out of his neck, the purple undertone growing from all the blood rush.. much like the handprint beginning to form around your throat.

You were losing the battle of your life, you could feel the haziness beginning to grow.. Jace's voice was slowly growing dull as the thumping of your heart was coming up to bat. The burning in your chest was growing stronger, gasps were leaving your lips as you fought and fought to get air into your lungs.

Suddenly like a crashing wave you were ripped out of Jace's grasp and thrown into the chest of someone else, you struggled until you smelt the air around you.. a woodsy musk with touches of vanilla.. Twaine. You were in Twaine's chest..

You lifted your head and surveyed the room. Sam stood in front of Jace, his stance strong and ready for a fight. Harrison was at your right, blocking the path to you. Tom had his body tilted, left side forward, right hand formed into a fist, you knew that stance. He did it all the time when he was boxing.. it gave him the most power when he threw a punch with his right hand. And Harry, Harry was between the door and his twin brother, ready to get help if needed.

The words being said between Sam and Jace were all muddled to you, it was like static was playing. Maybe you were in shock..

You watched as it happened though, you could feel yourself gaining your surroundings, you began to lean less on Twaine and stood on your own two feet. Twaine kept an arm around you though, just in case.. making sure you were okay but you weren't worried about yourself. Sam was too lost in his own anger to see the fist forming in Jace's left hand, the hand with all of his rings..

It was like everything turned into slow motion again, you shoved yourself out of Twaine's embrace and pushed past Harrison's shocked form. You had never felt the world move so slowly, the air turned still, you reached for Sam's arm as Tom began turning towards you as he heard Harrison's voice call out for you but you had tunnel vision. All you could do was reach out to Sam's body, pushing it as you moved into the direct path of Jace's fist. You needed to protect Sam. Sam didn't deserve to be hit, not because of you, he wasn't meant to be in this mess. None of them were..

You felt the burning impact of Jace's fist at full force, the metal touching your cheek and the world began to come back to normal speed.

You fell to the floor with a bang. Sam moved at lightning speed to gather you up in his arms, he cradled you into his body, hunching it over you to stop any other impacts if they were to come. Tom jumped forward and threw his first skin to skin contact fist, it was the first punch you had known him to deliver since he began training with professional boxers and trainers. Harrison and Twaine were fast to move and grab Tom off him before anything too bad happened to either of them because as much as they all wanted to land a good hit on Jace, you were their top priority.

You began to move to stand when a hand landed on your back, soft and reassuring but still you flinched. You could feel the blood beginning to drip from the right side of your face, down your cheek and neck onto your dress. Lifting your head you looked Jace dead in the eye for the first time in weeks, you saw nothing of the sweet and caring man you grew to love. He didn't exist..

"Get out. Leave Jace, we are done. We. Are. Done. Never, ever come near me again."

You could feel your body shake as you stood, you hadn't felt this powerful in a long time. You weren't backing down. He hurt you, but he would never lay a hand on the people you love. You let yourself become his punching bag, the person who was ready to be stripped of everything that made you feel human. But no, for as long as you breathed, as long as you were able to get back up, you wouldn't let him touch them. You were meant to be the bright and warm sunshine that graced their lives, not the dark cloud that brought misery.

"You heard her mate. Get the hell out before you're leaving in a body bag" Tom's harsh voice broke through the heavy and suffocating air in the room, he and Twaine grabbed his arms as they threw him out of the room. Only the sound of the orchestra playing of what sounded to be the score of Game Of Thrones main title was to be flowing through the room. The guys stood together as you separated yourself from them, walking to the far corner of the room, hiding yourself away from the now completely open door.. how no one had heard the whole ordeal was beyond what you could comprehend right now.

The boys all began whispering between themselves as you collected yourself, you weren't even sure what had completely happened. The throbbing in your throat and cheek were growing, as was the tired and lagging feeling that was overcoming your body.

"Boys!" Nikki's voice burst through the almost silence of the room, she sounded relieved and annoyed all at once,

"Where the hell have you lot been hmm? They're about to announce the sponsorship! Move along, all of you. Whatever may be the problem you have between you and yn can wait for now Sam, no buts. Paddy and your father have been looking everywhere for you. Move along, let's go"

Harry was quick to follow his mum out the room after casting a quick glance to your shadowed figure, slowly but surely the rest of them seemed to file out. Twaine pulling Sam out to stop a future argument between him and his mum, Harrison stood at the door waiting for Tom and yourself,

"You coming sweetheart?" Tom's voice was soft and quiet, like he was speaking to a frightened puppy.

Nodding your head, you swallowed some air to prepare yourself to speak,

"Yes, of course. Just give me a few minutes yeah? I need to check my appearance, I don't want any questions about how I look.."

Tom was about to say more when Harrison tugged his arm,

"We'll be down there when your ready" Came Harrison's calming voice, and with that, they too left the room.

You reached your hand up to gently touch your face, a mixture of blood, tears and sweat was felt on your face as you pulled your hand back. A red wetness laced your hand, taking a deep breathe you walked out of the room, making sure to stick to the shadows as the lights fell to the stage where Haydon stood ready to announce the winner. There was a gap to his left where you were meant to be standing.

You walked to the end of the bannister, gripping it tightly as Haydon's voice filled the room,

"Welcome to the Kingston Academy Annual Gala! Firstly I would like to thank you all for coming and yes, I know that normally our dearest Angel, that's yn for all who aren't familiar, normally does this opening but she has since been called out for business. The girl never seems to stop working let me tell you that! Now I could drag on and on about our history and what we do but we all want to get back to mingling and such, so I am here to announce the new official sponsor of the Kingston Academy Elite Performance Team for this upcoming season! Now for those who aren't familiar or are here and nominated for the first time, a little refresher!"

You looked at the floor of the room as you stood above, you could spot all of the guys standing together, Sam not so subtly searching for you before Nikki whacked him in the back and told him to pay attention. You let out a little breath of laughter, you wanted nothing more than to be down there..

"So! As sponsor, your charity logo or brand name whichever you prefer calling it, will be displayed on the new tour shirts that are worn by all the Elite members. These shirts are worn for promotional use, competitions and rehearsals. They become part of the uniform that is worn at all times. Your logo will also appear on the banners when at outside shows and promos, frequently spoken about during any press, featured on our website and as the sponsor you have free tickets to any and all shows! This includes showcases and musical shows that we run, this season being Hairspray, Newsies and Aladdin! Your logo is also going to be put on the posters, emails and tickets that are all sold and used. And finally profits from ticket sales and any merchandise that the Academy releases with your charity featured - will be going to you. And at any point if you wish to sell your own merch, we can also arrange for that too where any and all profits go straight back to you. Pretty good deal right! Now onto the winner of this season’s sponsorship is.......

The Brothers Trust! Congratulations lads! Where are you? Oh there you guys are! Very dapper looking young men aren't they!"

As Haydon continued speaking you turned and began walking to the exit, you needed to get out of there. As you were sneaking away Stacey caught you,

"Oh honey.. come on, let's get you out of here okay?" Taking her hand you both walked out a side entrance to the hall and left in silence.

What the hell were you going to do now? 

tagslist: @upsidedownspidey @samhollandislife @barnacleb0i @distressedhollandfield @dottirose

[trashangel-dee]

chardee prompt: the second time they hook up and it's again kinda in the heat of the moment but it's also sad and a lil hearbreaking because the first time they could've passed it off as a fluke but now that it's happened again they both kinda know that it's gonna become an issue and they can't have that and dee tries to like force herself to break charlie's heart afterwards but he doesn't give up on her :'(

10 months later, and here it is! (the date is listed as November 7)

Sorry it took so long. I don’t know if you’ll even see this, but hope you enjoy!

Dee leans back into the couch. Breathing slowing returning to normal, post sex high quickly turning to regret. She had banged Charlie. Again. And it was good. Again.

It’s almost too reminiscent of the last time this happened. They were having a nice time, just the two of them. Things were so calm; no schemes or ulterior motives, just each other’s company. Then the air turned from light and carefree to heavy with tension.  

Goddamn, maybe it’s the couch. She’s just going to have to burn it. Maybe that’ll end this. Some twisted force draws them to it, like moths to light.

She shuts her eyes for a moment, willing this to go away. When she opens them, she can see Charlie to her left, silently watching. He looks fidgety. She can tell that he wants to say something but looks nervous.  "What?” She asks roughly.  

“You, uh.. you looked really pretty.”

Oh. She wasn’t expecting that. They had spent almost every night together the past week, usually at work, and had gotten along really well. But they hadn’t gone so far as to compliment each other.  

“Right,” she huffs in annoyance. She could anticipate different words, like hot or sexy. Normal things to call someone you just had sex with. But, pretty? She never gets called that, and it elicits a weird, fluttery feeling in her chest.  

Dee reaches on the floor for her shirt. She can feel his eyes on her, and she can’t tell if he’s checking her out, or waiting to see what’s next. She grabs it, and is about to pull it over her head when she realizes it’s not hers. The little reminder makes the situation worse.

She shoves the garment at him, and strides into her bedroom to find some clothes.When she emerges, she’s surprised to find Charlie sitting on the couch, fully dressed now, picking at a beer bottle.  

“Why are you still here?” She asks.

He shrugs. “Should we talk about it?”  

“There’s nothing to talk about, Charlie. I needed to get laid. You were here. It’s simple.”

“Right. Yeah,” he nods. He’s quiet for a moment and Dee can tell he wants to say more. He continues, unprompted this time. “It’s just, this keeps happening. Maybe it means something, you know?”

“It means-,” Dee starts, but she doesn’t know how to finish that thought. She doesn’t know what it means. If she even wants it to know.  

Dee rubs her temples. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“So, I guess I should go?” He asks  

Dee nods. It’s not like she was planning for him to spend the night anyway.  

———

It’s too early to be at the bar, Dee thinks, but it’s better than being at her apartment. She’ll hide out at Paddy’s for a while, away from that couch that brings back too many memories. She hadn’t slept much anyway, feeling strangely alone, interweaved with thoughts of regret and what ifs.

She walks behind the bar, reaching for a beer. Dee’s just popped the cap off when she jumps at the door opening. Charlie walks in, freezing upon seeing her.  

"What are you doing here?” Dee asks. She had planned on being alone for a few hours. It seems Charlie was thinking the same thing.  

“I got some work to do in the basement. Before everyone got here.”

Dee nods stiffly.  

“Why are you here?” he asks.

She couldn’t be in her apartment, be around the tiny couch they somehow fit on together. Where their bodies worked in effortless synchronicity. And why should she drink her own beers when there’s free ones right here? Dee doesn’t answer the question.  

“How long are you going to avoid me?” Charlie presses, like he’s trying to pick a fight. Still no response. He starts towards the basement, but turns back towards her, saying in a softer tone, “You know, if you ever wanted to do it again. I’d be okay with it.”

The silence Dee had been fighting to hold lets go. “Goddammit, Charlie. Am I supposed to be flattered? That you’d be okay with banging me again?”

“No, I-”

“Or… Or is it that I’m such a giant whore you can just use me?”

“No,” he protests, “it’s not that.” Charlie glances at the floor then back up to Dee. He speaks slowly, carefully. “Doing that with you. It makes me feel good.” The look she gives him makes Charlie realize he said something wrong. “Not just my dick. But in my head, and my heart.”  

She’s not leaving or arguing, and Charlie takes the opportunity to continue. “I’m just saying, we could just… keep doing what we’re doing. It’s good, right? We’ll still be friends. Just ones who bang sometimes.”

It could be really good, she thinks. Time alone with Charlie was becoming one of her favorite things. Ever since they agreed to be nice to each other. The other thing was good, too. The way he kissed back, with no hesitation or convincing. The way he breathed her name. She wonders if he’s thought about it as much as she has.  

She needs to shove it down, and talking to him is the opposite of that. Dee walks from behind the bar, moving from table to table, wiping them more precisely than normal. She’s ignoring him. Charlie follows, disregarding her standoffish body language.

“Jesus, Dee. Will you stop that,” he grabs her arm, exasperated, “I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

She remembers that feeling too well; is too familiar with how his warm hands felt on her bare skin. Those memories she’s trying to push down come flowing back. Charlie’s hands sliding up her back, fidgeting with her bra clasp. Pulling her legs tighter around him. Cupping her face with a tenderness she didn’t know he was capable of.  

“Don’t touch me,” she snaps, yanking her arm away.  

“Did I do something wrong? I thought we had a good time. I mean you seemed into it.”

She finally looks at him, and it confirms exactly why she was avoiding it. He doesn’t look mad. He looks hurt. He looks confused.

“I’m sorry, okay? Can we just go back to normal?” His tone softens, but that manages to sting the most. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Dee looks around to make sure nobody can hear her, even though the bar is empty. He’s calm, and his lack of arguing is making her angry. They always say that they’re going to team up, too. Have their own version of The Dynamic Duo, but it never lasts. They sober up. Self- preservation always takes over.

“You know why we can’t do this, Charlie? You want to know why? Because it would never work. Whatever the fuck idea you have in that stupid head of yours, just stop it. The guys already give me enough shit, and I don’t need any reason for them to treat me worse. You’re so spineless around them that you’re going to take their side every goddamn time. You couldn’t even stand up for me if you wanted.” She jabs a finger at him, adding,  “Not that I need you to.”

She continues, the words coming out on their own.“They’re barely your friends, Charlie. The only reason they keep you around is you’re dumb enough to fall into their tricks. They only put up with you to use you for jobs that are too disgusting for any normal person. You can’t even read and always screw it up for the rest of us. You’re a liability.” Some of it hurts to say. She knows he feels almost as put out as she does. But it’s better to just stop whatever this is before it can start. It’s only going to hurt more when it inevitably fails.  

Dee inhales, and finishes her rant. “You can’t even get the waitress. Do you know how low you have to be if she’s too good for you? I know I’m not pretty and am a bird or a whore or whatever you want to call me. But I deserve better than whatever you think you can offer. I’m never going to want you.” She can feel tears burning at her eyes, but they’re not going to fall. She’s gotten good at not crying over the years.

Charlie stares at her for a moment, as if to patiently ask are you done?, then shakes his head.  "Nah. I don’t buy it.“

Charlie looks completely uneffected. He’s spent two decades obsessing over and stalking one woman. He’s been called the worst possible things by her. Yet, he hasn’t given up. He has some twisted, yet unbreakable, notion of love and romance. She recognizes that look in his eyes.  

There’s no way in hell Dee is going to let him go that extreme, but goddamn, if she doesn’t like the idea of being chased.

[thesportssoundoff]

A Mighty Good Time In London: A Preview For The UFC’s return to London

If you're willing to take a break from March Madness, theres quite a bit of MMA and boxing to enjoy this weekend! GGG vs Danny Jacobs is the big prize this week BUT If you want to do more, how about some MMA early on? The UFC is heading to London for an early (Eastern time which is truly the only time of note) afternoon slate. THIS card has taken some hits from people who are either a) unaware of what a Fight Pass card is, b) never satisfied or c) Just dying to be #MadOnline. It's a really really solid slate of European MMA with some great matchmaking and a not as bad main event. As much as people want to be mad about Manuwa vs Anderson main eventing, I would just say that you should be mad at Gus for ducking Cirkunov because he wasn't a big enough name. Besides let's be honest, Corey Anderson vs Jimi Manuwa is a fine main event for a Fight Pass card. You could do far far worse. Beyond that though you've got a great Alan Jouban vs Gunnar Nelson fight, Brad Pickett's retirement, TWO really great prospect vs prospect fights, Vicente Luque vs Leon Edwards in a fucking war and a half, Joe Duffy's potential UFC departure fight as well as a host of mid-tier action fighters at 185 and 205 trying to find some success. Let's dig in!

Fights: 13

Debuts: 1 (Lucie Pudilova)

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 2 (Veronica Macedo out, Lucie Pudilova in/Henry Briones out, Chito Vera in)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 4 (Reza Madadi, Jimi Manuwa, Gunnar Nelson and Brad Pickett)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 1 (Brad Pickett) *This sort of exemplifies what makes this card deceptively good. There's a lot of fighters coming off a loss but not a lot of fighters who are on losing streaks. A lot of dudes treading water for sure but that's not a deathknel for a show*

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Mark Diakiase, Vicente Luque, Leon Edwards, Makwan Amirkhani, Arnold Allen, Alan Jouban)

Stat Monitor for 2017:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 8-7)- Lucie Pudilova

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 5-9)- Lucie Pudilova, Marlon "Chito" Vera

Second Fight (Current number: 5-9)- Linsa Lansberg, Brett Johns, Darren Stewart

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- I think the reason people dislike this main event in so many words is that there's a lack of relevancy to it. Jimi Manuwa is a very fun kill or be killed type of LHW who is either brutally finished or finishes brutally while Corey Anderson with the right opponent (namely somebody who can give him something to worry about on the feet while flirting with takedown defense) is a guy who can have fun exciting fights. So it has to be relevancy given how neither fighter is, in all likelihood, going to challenge for the title. I would disagree with that assessment. Corey Anderson's had some clunkers in the UFC but he's very young in a division by which youth is its own skillset and as far as actual skills go, he's not a bad fighter. He has power, inconsistently of course, but power in his hands, he's developed a decent kicking game and his wrestling is not great but good enough to take down bigger clunkier guys who can't move their feet well. Anderson could get a title shot simply by virtue of the potted plant theory; stick around long enough and eventually you become a centerpiece. As for Jimi Manuwa, it's not a question of talent as much as it's a question of time. Manuwa has taken LONG lapses throughout his career of doing absolutely nothing and I believe his legal history has prevented him from fighting abroad more. He's sort of become a UK novelty attraction which is sad because I think he can do more. The argument could (and should) be made that Manuwa's lack of TDD and his so-so chin will always prevent him from ascending the rankings. I would conversely argue that there's two guys at 205 who can take big punches and everybody else's chin is essentially on the same plane of existence. The takedown defense IS a problem but TDD didn't prevent OSP from getting a title shot, ya know what I mean? I think this is a fine fight for 205 AND an important one. Maybe one day we'll look back on this like how we look back on Struve vs Miocic as being a super important fight in the annals of HW history. Who knows.

2- NOW having said all of that, I must also admit the reality of the situation. There's a fine chance that Anderson takes down Manuwa for five rounds and we all spend the main event being bored out of our minds. Honesty is the best policy. STILL even so, I feel the need to point out that all of the UFC main events outside of the PPVs have been finishes and relatively early.

3- Alan Jouban and Gunnar Nelson have been forgotten in the mix at 170 lbs but why arent these guys recognized more as contenders? In the case of Jouban, his only losses are a bad split decision to Warrley Alves and a nasty TKO to Albert Tumenov. Outside of that Jouban has beaten some pretty darned good fighters like Belal Muhammad, Mike Perry (I'M HOLDING ON TO THIS ONE, MAN) and Seth Baczynski. For Gunnar Nelson, the super hyped prospect got his credentials checked by Rick Story and Demian Maia but he's young, he trains in a gym that fits and suits him PLUS Nelson is likely only going to get better with time.

4- Is Arnold Allen, in pure talent alone, the most talented European prospect since McGregor back in his heyday? Arnold Allen is just 23 years old and he seems to improve with each performance. He's fighting guys way way above his experience level though and the same happens with Makwan Amirkhani.

5- Let's talk about Mr. Finland! It seems like just yesterday he was this promising prospect who internet MMA fans were scoffing at. He was just a gimmick; a good looking grappler with not much else to his name and one of the many European prospects outside of England who were expected to flop. To our surprise, or at least my surprise, Mr. Finland has been far better than advertised. While I wish he'd fight MORE, his grappling chops and his ability to make himself a spectacle have been a tremendous addition to the UFC. He's gotten a slow ladder up to the top and draws Arnold Allen, arguably England's best featherweight prospect (he'd beat Paddy IMO). Should be a great fight but Amirkhani has the edge on the ground so I'm betting that's where this winds up.

6- THE MAD DOG IS BACK!

7- Tom Breese is a really good prospect with a really good gym who seemed to be stuck in neutral due to bad weight cuts and some rough stylstic matchups. Oluwale Bamgbose is a freakishly athletic raw middeweight who seems to have bitten off more than he chew with his current UFC run. This fight could be very dicey for Breese early but if he survives the first, I think he's going to have a relatively easy time with Oluwale.

8- I'm admittedly pretty conflicted on this Pickett/Marlon Vera fight. Chito is a fun dude to watch fight and he's young, super athletic and developing pretty quickly. I'd be really happy if he won----but man doesn't Brad Pickett deserve a chance to retire on a good note? It's a tough ask.

9- Leon Edwards vs Vicente Luque is a really interesting fight because while Luque could be a challenger at 170 lbs before the end of 2017, Edwards an absolutely challenge for a top spot in time as well. Edwards has had an interesting progression even if it's been a somewhat bumpy road. His two losses boiled down to simply not having the wrestling chops to stop takedowns/stalls in his offensive game. To his credit, Edwards has improved each time out as a wrestler annd that combined with snappy striking makes him a credible name. Vicente Luque has gone from struggling (by his own admission) to deal with Alvaro Herrera  to blasting out reputable dudes in under a round. This is a different challenge though as Edwards is well rounded, can match Luque athletically and his weaknesses are going to be a lot tougher for Luque to exploit. I'm pretty excited to see how this thing plays out.

10- So we've been discussing the so-so 205 lb division but Darren Stewart is a pretty darned good LHW prospect. He's all action and all violence, coming off a no contest after a headbutt led to a finish vs Francimar Barroso. Francimar is JAG so here's hoping Stewart can impress.

11- On one hand, Teemu Packalen is a respectable raw fighter with skills and enough in his game to not be a total waste of time for Marc Diakiase. On the other hand? Do we really NEED another tune up fight for Diakiase? I think we can all agree that he's maybe ready for a bigger name now.

12- Brett Johns had a Henry Cejudo-esque debut in the UFC after a Henry Cejudo esque regional MMA career. Johns was nixed from Cage Warriors after becoming their champion, got signed by Titan FC, missed weight and lost thee chance to be their champion. Originally just a great grab and grinder type, Johns showcased all kinds of striking improvement in his fight vs Kwan Ho Kwak. Ian Entwistle is a one trick pony for the most part but his trick (leglocks) is pretty damn good. A respectable Cage Warriors-y main event on the prelims of this card.

Must Wins:

Jimi Manuwa

Jimi's 37 years young which is not a deathknel for a guy at light heavyweight. At the same time, the time to go is now for the powerful Brit. Manuwa can answer a ton of questions about whether he can creep his way into a title shot or at the very least, set himself up for a really appealing fight with Shogun Rua. Can he handle Corey Anderson's five rounds of pressure? Can he stuff the takedowns? If takendown can he get back up or will he be stuck there? How can his chin hold up if Anderson cracks him? If Manuwa wins then you can start whispering about a #1 contender fight....but he's gotta win.

Makwan Amirkhani

I have no idea why Amirkhani was gone for this long. Whatever the reasoning, it was far too long for my liking. Arnold Allen is a very good young fighter but Mr. Finland's more physical, he's fought better competition and his grappling is worlds above Arnold Allen. It's a winnable fight for Amirkhani and at this point, he's gotta take the jump from fun gimmick fighter to genuine challenger at featherweight.

Marc Diakiase

Diakiase has the ability in time to be a genuine star in Europe if the UFC promotes him right. He's 2-0 in the UFC and he's getting a lay up opponent in Teemu Packalen. It's almost not about winning this fight but doing so in an impressive fashion.

Five Underlying Themes

1- European events always have a special energy to them regardless of the card. With Bellator running more and more shows in Europe, will the UFC still garner that special attraction vibe?

2- Whether they try to sell the main event as a title contender fight.

3- The Hardy/Gooden combo is normally pretty solid but with a long layoff between fight cards, will they be rusty?

4- Brad Pickett's retirement.

5- If they dance around the Joseph Duffy contract situation. OR IF HE EATS IT VS THE MAD DOG.

Predicting (Bonus) Winners!

Current Record: 23-23

Corey Anderson Gunnar Nelson Marlon Vera Makwan Amirkhani Joseph Duffy Darren Stewart Daniel Omielanczuk Marc Diakiase Tom Breese Vicente Luque Brett Johns Scott Askham Lina Lansberg

[brittabroad]

Moving out of London

Well can we talk emotional? Like not even in the way of “OMG I’M GONNA MISS ALL THIS” more like: “I’M A PACK RAT I DON’T LIKE THIS FEELING OF TRYING TO PACK AND DISCARD STUFF DURING CHRISTMAS ‘HOLIDAYS’! And, am I getting my deposit back coz it’s now technically a 2 weeks notice instead of 1 month... I’m stressed”!

We’ll just skip over the breakdown New Year’s Eve night I had over trying to pack the last little bit of things and worrying that I’ve still not given away enough and discarded enough and shipped back enough! Because I went off to see the fireworks to just get outta there and it did me a world of good!!!

I watched them and I thought: “These are fantastic. Wow really pretty! What luck I have to be here bringing in another year! I need to stop stressing coz tomorrow I’ll be off for a fun time...” and so on... It was great!

So then I Skyped my family from Tower Hill station which was great and I felt a bit better after that too!

JANUARY 1, 2017

Day of packing went well actually on the 1st! Got all done I wanted except for: needing to send 2 more packages last min and having the post office closed and washing the floors of the room.

But my roomie across the hall saw me packing and we spoke and he offered to help me which pulled a lot of stress away! And washing of the floors wasn’t a huge priority coz they’re pretty clean to begin with...

I worried that Molly and Zahid were ignoring me or something coz they didn’t come out of their rooms once as I was going up and down stairs clearly with heavy bags thudding meaning I’m getting ready to go I would think. But then Molly did come out and we chat briefly and I did my dishes and cried a little and she encouraged me. And Zahid came a short time later as I was eating (Molly had leftovers to share and Pepsi) and we chat a bit too and he seemed in good spirits towards me so I felt less dejected and I explained fully that I really wished that things weren’t the way they were and that I would have stayed the full time if I could have but it might affect my future reentry and he completely understood saying that Theresa May (prime minister) is an idiot and making immigration decisions that are making it harder to enter the UK and so forth so ya

Then he went to shower saying for me to wait and he’ll say goodbye etc so Molly and I had tea I chose some of my Earl Grey and she put whipped cream on top. I think I have a new fav drink XD hehe We spoke briefly about finding somebody to marry and she clearly has different ideas about that than to me. She says you should know somebody fully after a month and really get to know them and then you can marry if they’re perfect for you... She grew up though in a society that sort of arranges marriages and encourages marriages so her views are different...

Then Zahid helped me to Plaistow station (THANK GOD BECAUSE FRICK IT WAS RAINING). And as I go get on the train my bungee cord falls onto the tracks. FFFFF. I get off and Zahid grabs his umbrella to try and scoop it up. I drop that too coz of shaking hands and slippery-ness with the wetness of it all. So I go fetch a worker who brings one of those trash picker upper thingies and he’s like pissed at me and says “why were you standing so close to the edge you need to always be behind the yellow line” and I’m like “I WAS GETTING ON THE TRAIN IT FELL BETWEEN THE GAP ACCIDENTALLY” and geeze. But we got our things back, I got on the train and sorta relaxed a bit coz I knew I was on my way!

Got off at Victoria and that does not have a lift... WHY THE HECK NOT?! IT’S A LEGIT TRAIN STATION PEOPLE TRAVEL WITH BAGS ALL THE TIME YO is it coz I was at the District line part? Who knows. But there were wonderful people (men) who helped me with the stairs so bless them!

I figured out I could push the bags together in a T shape with the I being my smaller bag and the - being the bigger bag that has the better wheels then I just hold the handle of the big one and other hand on the back of the small and push away! Works well on smooth surfaces, less so on rough but it’s my small bag that has dud wheels so they get caught up sometimes when you first try to get going :/

I want to refund my Oyster. Well the terminal that does that is CLOSED. (-_-) sheesh.

So off to the coach station I decide to go. I see a bus number 11. “Do you go to the coach station?” *nod* “Brilliant”.

Got off and pushed my way into the station with time to spare! Well let’s go refund the oyster at the ticket oyster thing (all the way on the other side to where I need to be) but the floors are smooth so no problem. Get there see a sign you can only do it at the underground stations or information centres. FFF that’s fine I have 5 pounds deposit and 1.50 left so if need be I can leave it if I cannot refund online via my account...

So push my way towards international departures. A guy sees me struggle with the bags (readjusting to cross a road terrain change over a bump) so he helps me with one over to the terminal. Bless him.

I see a sign that says CHECK IN so I do that and a short time later we are allowed to board! I am not allowed to take the carry on suitcase (with fragile stuff inside) with me on it has to go under the coach. And man asks if I paid for extra baggage and I BS’d my way through an answer and he let me on without paying for that.

I find a seat and suddenly the radio is playing ‘All I Ask of You’ from PotO I’m astonished! They go on to interview Cameron Mackintosh too and play a ‘Hamilton’ song before the coach starts up and we have no radio.

Oh I did have enough time to get off the coach before departure to fill my water bottle (told the shopkeeper I needed to take medication so he’d give me free tap water)...

And we went on our way! I ate the food Molly gave me but I had no fork so I used the plastic bag over my fingers lol to eat and pick out the hot peppers; tedious...

Saw Big Ben and parliament one last time from the south of the river and that was absolutely lovely looking in the night!

Then I read for about an hour and a half maybe more of @theawkwarddeadgirl and I’s RP (yes we have that much and more because we are AWESOME) haha... Then I was feeling carsick and we got to Dover so I looked around coz we were boarding a ferry to Calais, France anyway!

white cliffs of Dover!

Had to get off the coach when on the ferry so I sat by a window and wrote to my penpal.

the four musketeers: Paddington, Paddy, Keetchka and me

Also gandered at the bruises I’ve inflicted during packing and moving...

By the time we were on the coach again it was real late almost 1 am I think I recall reading...

I tried to sleep a bit but probably only got an hour maybe hour and a half total. We did stop in “Holland” for 15 mins where I heard some sort of shouting going on and later a coach passenger gets back on and says “that mutherfucker” or something and I’m like WHOA WHAT’S GONE DOWN?!

Saw him and another passenger get off at the next stop a short time later and that dude threw his hands up at the guy and left then black dude shook his head and went opposite direction.

The coach driver announced the name of the station not the city we were in when we got to Amsterdam so I stayed on as did a few others. He then had to get back on and tell us “Amsterdam” lol but now I’m looking at the clock like “I have to wait an hour and a half in this cold?” well the metro station was literally just gates to get in and then who knows what behind it so I waited in there cold and needing to pee!

At last I went to board coach 2 but driver is grumpy and literally pushes me towards the doors of the Eurolines building when I tell him I didn’t do the check in there but I have a ticket. He’s pissed because there’s 5 mins til departure. I had NO clue I needed to check in again if I had that ticket from the check in back in London. So chill.

Then lady inside has no chill either saying “Where were you?!” because check in should be up to 15 mins before departure and “all the other passengers for your coach were here waiting”. I tried to explain that I didn’t know I needed to come NOT TO MENTION their building wasn’t open when I arrived by my other coach so suck it ok?

I get down the steps again to try and board the coach and the guy is mad again because I need to load luggage on the other side. HAVE. SOME. CHILL. I AM NOT A MIND READER I DO NOT KNOW. And I’m in a foreign country with no sleep really under my belt and it’s 7 am I’ve been out in the cold since 5:20 so CALM IT.

I get on the coach and the guy I sit beside seems a bit reserved like pulling away from me almost so I feel like I’ve disturbed him on his phone there... I go to the toilet as the coach rolls on. Not fun but NECESSARY yo lol

Then I pull out my laptop coz we have wifi on this one! So I email my Mom with my itinerary and my flatmate telling him thank you and here’s what’s in the packages for him to put for the customs form. And I’m typing to a tumblr follower who messaged me when guy beside me asks me if I’m going to Denmark... I’m alarmed coz I was telling the follower that I’m excited for going to The Netherlands and so long as it doesn’t have disappointing food like Denmark I’ll be good! and then he spoke up so I’m like: HE’S READING WHAT I’M WRITING. But no turns out he’s headed for Copenhagen and wanted to know whether he could get off some place else coz he’s going to a funeral or something and it’d be more convenient not to be getting off at Copenhagen...

Anyway he chats me up. I learn he’s Egyptian and that he used to be in the military for 14 years and he got out of it because he said he’d go crazy if he kept it up with the stress and what he’d seen. So now he is a safety consultant kinda freelance for companies and schools and so forth so he travels to new assignments every year or so. He does similar work to his military career but obviously not in life and death situations now. He’s got a mother and a sister and a cat and he seems to have a great sense of humour and is quite friendly! He gave me his card so that I can contact him and get the contact info for a Canadian woman who runs overseas schools especially in Egypt.

And as the sun comes up and we’re chatting I’m enjoying the view of the rolling fields, hills and sheep sprinkled about them.

We arrive to Groningen earlier than I expected even though we left late... And I bid him goodbye because now it’s time to start Phase 2!

I’M OFFICIALLY NO LONGER A LONDON LIVER LOL

[flauntpage]

Lenny McLean vs. Roy Shaw: Battle of the Guv’nors

In the 1970s, working class English hard men settled their disputes in the boxing ring with gloves or on the cobblestones with their bare fists.

Two such geezers with major beef and no manners were Lenny McLean and Roy Shaw. They weren't legit boxers per se. They were two of London's hardest nightclub bouncers. With multiple convictions between them, they were too dodgy to get a boxing license and fought in bare-knuckle bouts, and unaffiliated (unlicensed) matches, not heavily regulated like the ones staged by the British Board of Boxing Control.

Mouth is what started their epic three-bout feud. Roy Shaw had fought in a number of bare-knuckle fights with gypsies and became known as the "unofficial heavyweight champ" and "the hardest man in Britain." Lennie McLean got wind of it and took umbrage. He had made a name for himself as the number 1 street fighter in England, "the King of the Cobbles". In his head, he was the "Guv'nor," and the hardest man in Britain, not Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw.

Shaw was no mug. He was an East End hell-raiser with a dodgy comb over and a tendency to stick the boot in. Case in point, his savage beating of Donnie "the Bull" Adams in 1975. Despite clocking Adams with the very first punch of the match, Shaw pulled him up to knock him out (again) and stomp on his head. Later on that same year, Shaw met Paddy "Mad Dog" Mullins in another unlicensed bout. Overwhelmed by Shaw's brutal, close-quarter punching power, Mullins attempted an early version of an MMA takedown to humorous effect.

Shaw's nemesis would come in the form of Lenny McLean. Despite toxic levels of personal animosity between the two thugs, their life stories were almost identical. Both men were London hooligans who had learned to fight on the pavement arena. Both of them were "Borstal boys", juvenile offenders, who had served custodial sentences and missed the opportunity to box proper in the ring as amateurs or professionals. Yet fighting was their stock in trade, and recreational pastime, and both men odd jobbed as nightclub bouncers, debt collectors and mob enforcers.

It could have been so different for Roy Shaw. He could have been a contender but being a "blagger" (armed robber) and jail time had gotten in the way of carving out a career in the ring. Shaw had fought and won 10 bouts as a pro—under an assumed name when he was on the lam from the law. When exposed as a crook on the run, the British Board of Boxing Control failed to renew Shaw's license, and banned him from performing in any of their contests thereafter.

Hailing from the blood darkened streets of Hoxton in East London, Lenny McLean had been a street fighting man for most of his life. In and out of trouble since youth, he'd missed the boat to box as an amateur and professional and drifted into the milieu of bare-knuckle boxing after a chance encounter with gypsy fight promoter Kenny Mac. What was his motivation for fighting on the cobbles? Social Darwinism (survival of the fittest), and the cult of the personality (reputation).

Photo courtesy of Kellie Valerie McLean

"You've got to fight to get anywhere," McLean once said in an interview on British TV. "If you don't fight, you're just one of the crowd and one of the crowd don't get nuffink."

Nuff said. But headbutting, biting, gouging and kicking a man when he's down? Mclean may have been the best street fighter in England, the so-called "King of the Cobbles," but could he box proper in the ring? Street fighting and glove fighting are too completely different things, after all.

Yet it was in this smoked filled world of "unaffiliated boxing" that the two thugs would meet and play sportsmen. Not once or twice but thrice, the best of three epic bouts. Who would emerge with the title of Guv'nor?

Forty-one year old Shaw, the smaller of this gruesome twosome, was supposed to be the better boxer. He'd beaten twenty-eight year old McLean in their first outing by TKO in May 1977. McLean, the bad sport, cried foul arguing that his gloves had been tampered with. He wanted payback. Shaw, not the type to duck a challenge, or a mouthy loser, was more than happy to oblige the Hulk of Hoxton.

The second bout in April 1978 was held once again at "Cinatra's Nightclub" (with a C not an S) a classless and gaudy venue in Croydon, South London with a 2000 seat capacity. The nightspot was sold out and packed to the rafters with gilt-edged hoods and wideboy punters. They had flocked to the bout via word of mouth down the pub, and articles in the UK tabloid press, and bet big on Shaw mugging McLean just like the first time.

Buzzing on ego, testosterone and ginseng, the white-robed figure of Shaw glided past the topless ring card girls, waving his taped up fists in the air. In the red corner, grunting like Guy the Gorilla on loan from London Zoo was Lenny McLean. He flexed his guns and gurned at the punters and slobs in attendance at ringside. The human dildo was pumped up and ready to unload on Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw.

In this straightener, there was no love lost. Or trust. Because of concerns over glove tampering, and McLean's complaints of being duped in the first encounter, both men were not laced up until they were in the ring.

The opening few seconds of the contest seemed sporting enough. Both men traded shots in Round 1 with Shaw aggressively probing the defense of McLean with body shots and left hooks to the jaw. Wary but cagey, McLean boxed behind his left jab and caught Shaw with a three shot flurry that sent him back onto the ropes. Smelling blood, McLean swarmed on Shaw and let loose with a tantrum of fists.

Photo courtesy of Lee Wortley

There was no bobbing, weaving or countering. Shaw was trapped in the corner and on the end of a savage and unerring onslaught of punches. Fast, accurate and mortar-like, McLean's boxing was more like milling—a form of all-out fist fighting popular in the British Army. Unable to defend himself against McLean's barrage of one-twos, Shaw flopped about like a mad cow and sunk to the canvas. McLean, oblivious to the Marquis of Queensberry rules, or the looming figure of the referee in black tie, punched Shaw as he was on the ground with a right-handed haymaker worthy of a pub brawl at the Blind Beggar.

At this point of the Round 1 demolition job on Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw, a man who had entered the ring some fifty seconds earlier as the odds-on favorite to win, the Referee stepped in. McLean, the bully beef fighter, was not quite done with his course. He shoved the Ref back and stomped on Shaw's head with his heel before being controlled and restrained by four heavies from his corner.

Amazingly, the contest was allowed to go on. If this was any other fight, McLean would have been DQ'd and possibly banned for life. Not this night. Not this fight. Not this mug's game. It was box on time and Shaw was still game for the ruck. So was McLean: who thumped Shaw with a four-punch combo that snapped his head and sent him through the ropes and onto the first row. The arse over elbows finale cost Shaw a bit more than his rep. He'd placed a £10,000 side bet that he wouldn't get dumped or knocked out of the ring.

Headbutts. Hitting guys when they're down and stepping on their head bouncer style. There are few sporting niceties in an "unaffiliated" boxing match. This is dirty boxing at its best and you see fighters doing all sorts of brutal tricks. And pity the poor Ref in these old time fights. He's reduced to being a pusillanimous figure, unable to stop the flow of backhands, rabbit punches, headbutts and Don King head stomps. Unsportsmanlike conduct and riotous proceedings aside, the score was one a' piece and the good folks of London town wanted a best of three. So did McLean and Shaw.

The venue for the third and final straightener was the Rainbow Theatre in North London. A big, three-thousand seat arena more used to staging rock concerts than unaffiliated boxing matches between two aging hoods.

First time it was McLean with the excuses. This time round, in September 1978, it was Shaw. He blamed his second defeat on ginseng, saying that he has accidentally ingested too much of the stuff and went into the contest out of sorts. Never again. This time the veteran thug in the blue corner was going to show McLean who was mustard, and who was not.

Making his ring entrance to Daddy Cool by Darts was Lenny McLean, the minted champ of the outlaw ring. Shaw was a mean old dog but McLean, the bigger and younger man in the red corner, was not going to relinquish the title of Guv'nor so easily.

The bell clanged and Shaw came storming came out of the trenches with left hooks galore. Sensing the power, McLean, the taller of the two men, held onto Shaw's head, pulling him down into uppercuts and right hands. Not one to play the mug, Shaw took the opportunity to open up to the midsection of McLean with rib busting shots. Rather than have a recce in the first round and give the punters their money's worth, Mclean broke off from holding (and hitting) to unload a meaty series of one-two shots that shook Shaw's head and sent him stumbling like a drunk at closing time.

McLean overwhelmed Shaw, one-two, one-two, one-two, ad infinitum. Unable to parry or counter, Shaw collapsed under the rain of knuckle sandwiches and rabbit punches. The boy from Stepney was the loser, once again, 2-1 to Lenny McLean of Hoxton.

The bell went ding-a-ling-ding. The bout was over. McLean was declared the winner and he shouted out into the crowd of cockney punters, "I'm the Guv'nor!" The noisy nightclub doorman from Hell was still the "unofficial heavyweight champion of Great Britain," still "the Guv'nor." There was no arguing with that.

With an improbable record of "4000 street fights" and "20,000 barroom brawls," was Lenny Mclean the hardest street fighting man in Britain? Even his own cousin, and sometime promoter, Frank Warren wrote him off as a big-mouthed monkey brawler.

"He was a terrible bully, Lenny. One of the biggest bullies you will ever meet, always intimidating people. I had a couple of scrapes with him myself. He used to say he'd had 3,000 fights, which was crap. He had 15 fights and lost 5."

Yes, McLean may have been the "King of the Cobbles" but the nightclub doorman was an unlicensed boxer with a so-so record. He lost twice for the title of Guv'nor to Cliff Fields in 1978 and 1979 by TKO (rumor has it that McLean went around London buying up every available copy of the fights to destroy). And the man from nightmare alley lost twice by KO in the 1980s to Johnny Waldron.

As for the street fighting bit, was he King of the Cobbles or King of the Cobblers? Though boasting that he could beat anybody in a fight, McLean had been KO'd by the likes of George 'Pappy' Langley, and lost face when he ducked a straightener from Bartley Gorman, "the King of the Gypsies" and a pro encounter with Dave "Bomber" Pearce, the British heavyweight champ.

Nonetheless, McLean went on to have dramatic tear-ups with some memorably named figures. One such encounter was his 1986 bout with Mad Gypsy Bradshaw. Bradshaw made the mistake of nutting McLean as they touched gloves. For that sleight, McLean went to town on Bradshaw and decked him. That wasn't the end of it. Like Shaw in his fight with Don Adams in 1975, McLean picked Bradshaw up and whupped him with a series of pub style blows before using him as a doormat. And there was much head-butting on display in his encounter with Man Mountain York. In fact, McLean is so liberal with the nut that he makes Evander Holyfield look like a choirboy.

Shaw and McLean never met in the squared circle again. Mclean retired from unlicensed boxing in 1986 and made a new rep as "King of the Bouncers," scaring a generation of club goers during his stint as a doorman at the Camden Palace and Hippodrome nightclubs in London.

In the 1990s he found fame as an actor and stole the show in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels before succumbing to lung cancer and dying in 1998. Shaw fought periodically until bowing out of the unlicensed game aged 45 in 1981. His record was 9 wins, 8 knockouts and 2 losses via Lenny McLean. He died in 2012, but, like his archrival, he is a much-missed character.

In the old days, barehanded or gloved up, working class Englishmen settled their differences with their fists. These days it's done with guns and knives. Tut-tut, where's the sport in that?

Lenny McLean vs. Roy Shaw: Battle of the Guv’nors published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

Lenny McLean vs. Roy Shaw: Battle of the Guv’nors

In the 1970s, working class English hard men settled their disputes in the boxing ring with gloves or on the cobblestones with their bare fists.

Two such geezers with major beef and no manners were Lenny McLean and Roy Shaw. They weren't legit boxers per se. They were two of London's hardest nightclub bouncers. With multiple convictions between them, they were too dodgy to get a boxing license and fought in bare-knuckle bouts, and unaffiliated (unlicensed) matches, not heavily regulated like the ones staged by the British Board of Boxing Control.

Mouth is what started their epic three-bout feud. Roy Shaw had fought in a number of bare-knuckle fights with gypsies and became known as the "unofficial heavyweight champ" and "the hardest man in Britain." Lennie McLean got wind of it and took umbrage. He had made a name for himself as the number 1 street fighter in England, "the King of the Cobbles". In his head, he was the "Guv'nor," and the hardest man in Britain, not Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw.

Shaw was no mug. He was an East End hell-raiser with a dodgy comb over and a tendency to stick the boot in. Case in point, his savage beating of Donnie "the Bull" Adams in 1975. Despite clocking Adams with the very first punch of the match, Shaw pulled him up to knock him out (again) and stomp on his head. Later on that same year, Shaw met Paddy "Mad Dog" Mullins in another unlicensed bout. Overwhelmed by Shaw's brutal, close-quarter punching power, Mullins attempted an early version of an MMA takedown to humorous effect.

Shaw's nemesis would come in the form of Lenny McLean. Despite toxic levels of personal animosity between the two thugs, their life stories were almost identical. Both men were London hooligans who had learned to fight on the pavement arena. Both of them were "Borstal boys", juvenile offenders, who had served custodial sentences and missed the opportunity to box proper in the ring as amateurs or professionals. Yet fighting was their stock in trade, and recreational pastime, and both men odd jobbed as nightclub bouncers, debt collectors and mob enforcers.

It could have been so different for Roy Shaw. He could have been a contender but being a "blagger" (armed robber) and jail time had gotten in the way of carving out a career in the ring. Shaw had fought and won 10 bouts as a pro—under an assumed name when he was on the lam from the law. When exposed as a crook on the run, the British Board of Boxing Control failed to renew Shaw's license, and banned him from performing in any of their contests thereafter.

Hailing from the blood darkened streets of Hoxton in East London, Lenny McLean had been a street fighting man for most of his life. In and out of trouble since youth, he'd missed the boat to box as an amateur and professional and drifted into the milieu of bare-knuckle boxing after a chance encounter with gypsy fight promoter Kenny Mac. What was his motivation for fighting on the cobbles? Social Darwinism (survival of the fittest), and the cult of the personality (reputation).

Photo courtesy of Kellie Valerie McLean

"You've got to fight to get anywhere," McLean once said in an interview on British TV. "If you don't fight, you're just one of the crowd and one of the crowd don't get nuffink."

Nuff said. But headbutting, biting, gouging and kicking a man when he's down? Mclean may have been the best street fighter in England, the so-called "King of the Cobbles," but could he box proper in the ring? Street fighting and glove fighting are too completely different things, after all.

Yet it was in this smoked filled world of "unaffiliated boxing" that the two thugs would meet and play sportsmen. Not once or twice but thrice, the best of three epic bouts. Who would emerge with the title of Guv'nor?

Forty-one year old Shaw, the smaller of this gruesome twosome, was supposed to be the better boxer. He'd beaten twenty-eight year old McLean in their first outing by TKO in May 1977. McLean, the bad sport, cried foul arguing that his gloves had been tampered with. He wanted payback. Shaw, not the type to duck a challenge, or a mouthy loser, was more than happy to oblige the Hulk of Hoxton.

The second bout in April 1978 was held once again at "Cinatra's Nightclub" (with a C not an S) a classless and gaudy venue in Croydon, South London with a 2000 seat capacity. The nightspot was sold out and packed to the rafters with gilt-edged hoods and wideboy punters. They had flocked to the bout via word of mouth down the pub, and articles in the UK tabloid press, and bet big on Shaw mugging McLean just like the first time.

Buzzing on ego, testosterone and ginseng, the white-robed figure of Shaw glided past the topless ring card girls, waving his taped up fists in the air. In the red corner, grunting like Guy the Gorilla on loan from London Zoo was Lenny McLean. He flexed his guns and gurned at the punters and slobs in attendance at ringside. The human dildo was pumped up and ready to unload on Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw.

In this straightener, there was no love lost. Or trust. Because of concerns over glove tampering, and McLean's complaints of being duped in the first encounter, both men were not laced up until they were in the ring.

The opening few seconds of the contest seemed sporting enough. Both men traded shots in Round 1 with Shaw aggressively probing the defense of McLean with body shots and left hooks to the jaw. Wary but cagey, McLean boxed behind his left jab and caught Shaw with a three shot flurry that sent him back onto the ropes. Smelling blood, McLean swarmed on Shaw and let loose with a tantrum of fists.

Photo courtesy of Lee Wortley

There was no bobbing, weaving or countering. Shaw was trapped in the corner and on the end of a savage and unerring onslaught of punches. Fast, accurate and mortar-like, McLean's boxing was more like milling—a form of all-out fist fighting popular in the British Army. Unable to defend himself against McLean's barrage of one-twos, Shaw flopped about like a mad cow and sunk to the canvas. McLean, oblivious to the Marquis of Queensberry rules, or the looming figure of the referee in black tie, punched Shaw as he was on the ground with a right-handed haymaker worthy of a pub brawl at the Blind Beggar.

At this point of the Round 1 demolition job on Roy "Pretty Boy" Shaw, a man who had entered the ring some fifty seconds earlier as the odds-on favorite to win, the Referee stepped in. McLean, the bully beef fighter, was not quite done with his course. He shoved the Ref back and stomped on Shaw's head with his heel before being controlled and restrained by four heavies from his corner.

Amazingly, the contest was allowed to go on. If this was any other fight, McLean would have been DQ'd and possibly banned for life. Not this night. Not this fight. Not this mug's game. It was box on time and Shaw was still game for the ruck. So was McLean: who thumped Shaw with a four-punch combo that snapped his head and sent him through the ropes and onto the first row. The arse over elbows finale cost Shaw a bit more than his rep. He'd placed a £10,000 side bet that he wouldn't get dumped or knocked out of the ring.

Headbutts. Hitting guys when they're down and stepping on their head bouncer style. There are few sporting niceties in an "unaffiliated" boxing match. This is dirty boxing at its best and you see fighters doing all sorts of brutal tricks. And pity the poor Ref in these old time fights. He's reduced to being a pusillanimous figure, unable to stop the flow of backhands, rabbit punches, headbutts and Don King head stomps. Unsportsmanlike conduct and riotous proceedings aside, the score was one a' piece and the good folks of London town wanted a best of three. So did McLean and Shaw.

The venue for the third and final straightener was the Rainbow Theatre in North London. A big, three-thousand seat arena more used to staging rock concerts than unaffiliated boxing matches between two aging hoods.

First time it was McLean with the excuses. This time round, in September 1978, it was Shaw. He blamed his second defeat on ginseng, saying that he has accidentally ingested too much of the stuff and went into the contest out of sorts. Never again. This time the veteran thug in the blue corner was going to show McLean who was mustard, and who was not.

Making his ring entrance to Daddy Cool by Darts was Lenny McLean, the minted champ of the outlaw ring. Shaw was a mean old dog but McLean, the bigger and younger man in the red corner, was not going to relinquish the title of Guv'nor so easily.

The bell clanged and Shaw came storming came out of the trenches with left hooks galore. Sensing the power, McLean, the taller of the two men, held onto Shaw's head, pulling him down into uppercuts and right hands. Not one to play the mug, Shaw took the opportunity to open up to the midsection of McLean with rib busting shots. Rather than have a recce in the first round and give the punters their money's worth, Mclean broke off from holding (and hitting) to unload a meaty series of one-two shots that shook Shaw's head and sent him stumbling like a drunk at closing time.

McLean overwhelmed Shaw, one-two, one-two, one-two, ad infinitum. Unable to parry or counter, Shaw collapsed under the rain of knuckle sandwiches and rabbit punches. The boy from Stepney was the loser, once again, 2-1 to Lenny McLean of Hoxton.

The bell went ding-a-ling-ding. The bout was over. McLean was declared the winner and he shouted out into the crowd of cockney punters, "I'm the Guv'nor!" The noisy nightclub doorman from Hell was still the "unofficial heavyweight champion of Great Britain," still "the Guv'nor." There was no arguing with that.

With an improbable record of "4000 street fights" and "20,000 barroom brawls," was Lenny Mclean the hardest street fighting man in Britain? Even his own cousin, and sometime promoter, Frank Warren wrote him off as a big-mouthed monkey brawler.

"He was a terrible bully, Lenny. One of the biggest bullies you will ever meet, always intimidating people. I had a couple of scrapes with him myself. He used to say he'd had 3,000 fights, which was crap. He had 15 fights and lost 5."

Yes, McLean may have been the "King of the Cobbles" but the nightclub doorman was an unlicensed boxer with a so-so record. He lost twice for the title of Guv'nor to Cliff Fields in 1978 and 1979 by TKO (rumor has it that McLean went around London buying up every available copy of the fights to destroy). And the man from nightmare alley lost twice by KO in the 1980s to Johnny Waldron.

As for the street fighting bit, was he King of the Cobbles or King of the Cobblers? Though boasting that he could beat anybody in a fight, McLean had been KO'd by the likes of George 'Pappy' Langley, and lost face when he ducked a straightener from Bartley Gorman, "the King of the Gypsies" and a pro encounter with Dave "Bomber" Pearce, the British heavyweight champ.

Nonetheless, McLean went on to have dramatic tear-ups with some memorably named figures. One such encounter was his 1986 bout with Mad Gypsy Bradshaw. Bradshaw made the mistake of nutting McLean as they touched gloves. For that sleight, McLean went to town on Bradshaw and decked him. That wasn't the end of it. Like Shaw in his fight with Don Adams in 1975, McLean picked Bradshaw up and whupped him with a series of pub style blows before using him as a doormat. And there was much head-butting on display in his encounter with Man Mountain York. In fact, McLean is so liberal with the nut that he makes Evander Holyfield look like a choirboy.

Shaw and McLean never met in the squared circle again. Mclean retired from unlicensed boxing in 1986 and made a new rep as "King of the Bouncers," scaring a generation of club goers during his stint as a doorman at the Camden Palace and Hippodrome nightclubs in London.

In the 1990s he found fame as an actor and stole the show in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels before succumbing to lung cancer and dying in 1998. Shaw fought periodically until bowing out of the unlicensed game aged 45 in 1981. His record was 9 wins, 8 knockouts and 2 losses via Lenny McLean. He died in 2012, but, like his archrival, he is a much-missed character.

In the old days, barehanded or gloved up, working class Englishmen settled their differences with their fists. These days it's done with guns and knives. Tut-tut, where's the sport in that?

Lenny McLean vs. Roy Shaw: Battle of the Guv’nors published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv