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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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Peacock Quotes

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• A few months ago, I had the pleasure of actually visiting the Playboy Mansion. I saw the peacocks, fed grapes to the monkeys, and even braved the fabled Grotto. After seeing the estate, I understood why anyone would be reluctant to leave. – Diablo Cody • A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade. – Jimmy Fallon • A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. – Dolly Parton • An example I often use to illustrate the reality of vanity, is this: look at the peacock; it’s beautiful if you look at it from the front. But if you look at it from behind, you discover the truth… Whoever gives in to such self-absorbed vanity has huge misery hiding inside them. – Pope Francis • And that’s how the Peacock saved the Chameleon – Ally Carter • As regards this vice, we read that the peacock is more guilty of it than any other animal. For it is always contemplating the beauty of its tail, which it spreads in the form of a wheel, and by its cries attracts to itself the gaze of the creatures that surround it. And this is the last vice to be conquered. – Leonardo da Vinci • At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all. – Baltasar Gracian

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• Be motivated like the falcon, hunt gloriously. Be magnificent as the leopard, fight to win. Spend less time with nightingales and peacocks. One is all talk, the other only color. – Rumi • British men are peacocks. You see a lot more style on the streets here than you see anywhere else, on every level. – Tom Ford • But why wasn’t I born, alas, in an age of Adjectives; why can one no longer write of silver-shedding Tears and moon-tailed Peacocks, of eloquent Death, of the Negro and star-enameled Night? – Logan Pearsall Smith • Dear Alec and Magnus, This is the first postcard of five. Don’t freak out or anything, but I need you to send me $150,000 to cover the cost of: 1) Two diamanté crowns 2) 20 peacocks 3) 300 chocolate lollipops in the shape of your heads 4) My dress 5) 500 lbs of glitter 6) One white horse (More to come in other cards) -Isabelle – Cassandra Clare Death, Stars, Writing • Dream tonight of peacock tails, Diamond fields and spouter whales. Ills are many, blessing few, But dreams tonight will shelter you. – Herman Melville • For all the feminist jabber about women being victimized by fashion, it is men who most suffer from conventions of dress. Every day, a woman can choose from an army of personae, femme to butch, and can cut or curl her hair or adorn herself with a staggering variety of artistic aids. But despite the Sixties experiments in peacock dress, no man can rise in the corporate world today, outside the entertainment industry, with long hair or makeup or purple velvet suits. – Camille Paglia • Genius and virtue are to be more often found clothed in gray than in peacock bright. – Van Wyck Brooks • Hansel is certainly about comfort, while still sort of having a peacock principle of wanting to attract attention. – Owen Wilson • He said that people who loved [animals] to excess were capable of the worst cruelties toward human beings. He said that dogs were not loyal but servile, that cats were opportunists and traitors, that peacocks were heralds of death, that macaws were simply decorative annoyances, that rabbits fomented greed, that monkeys carried the fever of lust, and that roosters were damned because they had been complicit in the three denials of Christ. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez • Here is a kitchen improvement, in return for Peacock. For roasting or basting a chicken, render down your fat or butter with cider: about a third cider. Let it come together slowly, till the smell of cider and the smell of fat are as one. This will enliven even a frozen chicken. – Sylvia Townsend Warner • How come it can’t fly no better than a chicken?’ Milkman asked. Too much tail. All that jewelry weighs it down. Like vanity. Can’t nobody fly with all that [stuff]. Wanna fly, you got to give up the [stuff] that weighs you down.’ The peacock jumped onto the hood of the Buick and once more spread its tail, sending the flashy Buick into oblivion. – Toni Morrison • I am Plato’s Republic. Mr. Simmons is Marcus. I want you to meet Jonathan Swift, the author of that evil political book, Gulliver’s Travels! And this other fellow is Charles Darwin, and-this one is Schopenhauer, and this one is Einstein, and this one here at my elbow is Mr. Albert Schweitzer, a very kind philosopher indeed. Here we all are, Montag. Aristophanes and Mahatma Gandhi and Gautama Buddha and Confucius and Thomas Love Peacock and Thomas Jefferson and Mr. Lincoln, if you please. We are also Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. – Ray Bradbury • I can live without it all – love with its blood pump, sex with its messy hungers, men with their peacock strutting, their silly sexual baggage, their wet tongues in my ear. – Erica Jong • I designed collections around whatever struck my fancy … fruits, vegetables, politics, or peacocks! – Lilly Pulitzer • I do not believe that any peacock envies another peacock his tail, because every peacock is persuaded that his own tail is the finest in the world. The consequence of this is that peacocks are peaceable birds. – John Ruskin • I don’t know if it’s animalistic or what, but men become like peacocks with their feathers up when women are around. – Bradley Cooper • I fear I must agree,” Magnus murmured. He pressed a hand over his heart and his new peacock-blue waistcoast. “I strive to find some respect in my heart for you, but alas! It seems an impossible quest. – Cassandra Clare • I just love the way the ’60s rock stars put themselves together, because they were like dandies and peacocks. They really lived out their fantasies – and dressed their fantasies. – Anna Sui • I know exactly how strong he is… He is like a peacock, spreading his feathers and squawking loudly to distract you from the back that his body is but weak.” -Jason to Mahiya – Nalini Singh • If a man knew anything, he would sit in a corner and be modest; but he is such an ignorant peacock, that he goes bustling up and down, and hits on extraordinary discoveries. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • If thou seest anything in thyself which may make thee proud, look a little further and thou shalt find enough to humble thee; if thou be wise, view the peacock’s feathers with his feet, and weigh thy best parts with thy imperfections. – Francis Quarles • If you get bored of doing it (Peacock Pose) with two hands, try it with one. – Dharma Mittra • It dances today, my heart, like a peacock it dances, it dances. It sports a mosaic of passions like a peacock’s tail, It soars to the sky with delight, it quests, Oh wildly, it dances today, my heart, like a peacock it dances. – Rabindranath Tagore • It is reported of the peacock that priding himself in his gay feathers he ruffles them up; but spying his black feet he soon lets fall his plumes. So he that glories in his gifts and adornings should look upon his corruptions, and that will damp his high thoughts. – Anne Bradstreet • It’s an awful stretcher to believe that a peacock’s tail was thus formed but … most people just don’t get it – I must be a very bad explainer – Charles Darwin • Le geai pare des plumes du paon. A bluejay in peacock feathers. – Jean de La Fontaine • Let me drive,” she said, reaching for the reins. He turned to her in disbelief. “This is a phaeton, not a single-horse wagon.” Sophie fought the urge to throttle him. His nose was running, his eyes were red, he couldn’t stop coughing, and still he found the energy to act like an arrogant peacock. “I assure you,” she said slowly, “that I know how to drive a team of horses. – Julia Quinn • Maggie threw her head back and laughed. ‘So you’re going to try…what? Birds of a Feather?’ she quested. ‘Of course not,’ Kat said. ‘Everyone knows the French government banned the importation of peacocks in 1987. – Ally Carter • Many a peacock hides his peacock tail from all eyes–and calls it his pride. – Friedrich Nietzsche • Men’s clothes are becoming kind of mod. They’re becoming more colorful and more flamboyant, and the male peacock is beginning to show his true plumage. – Liberace • Music really influenced me when I was growing up. I did go through a Jimi Hendrix phase. My hair was naturally quite afro, and I wore low-slung jeans with very high heels. Siouxsie and the Banshees had a lot to answer for. I was in a top hat with peacock feathers and thigh-high black boots. I was 17 — old enough to know better. – Helen McCrory • My heart is like a singing bird Whose nest is in a water’d shoot; My heart is like an apple-tree Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit; My heart is like a rainbow shell That paddles in a halcyon sea; My heart is gladder than all these, Because my love is come to me. Raise me a daïs of silk and down; Hang it with vair and purple dyes; Carve it in doves and pomegranates, And peacocks with a hundred eyes; Work it in gold and silver grapes, In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys; Because the birthday of my life Is come, my love is come to me. – Christina Rossetti • My philosophy on what makeup is…it’s very different from what a woman’s is. Makeup came from a very psychological place – of the peacock. – Jeremy Renner • News is history shot on the wing. The huntsmen from the Fourth Estate seek to bag only the peacock or the eagle of the swifting day. – Gene Fowler • Only you could love such a vile, selfish peacock, Evie. – Lisa Kleypas Paradise, Way, Satan • Patterns drawn in ultraviolet might make those ordinary little petals into the exotic peacocks of the botanical world, and yet we cannot appreciate them. – Victoria Finlay • Peacock bass like to hide at ambush points, away from the strong canal currents. If you fish early and know those peacock hangouts, you will have little or no trouble catching peacocks on lures and live bait. – Mark Hall • Peacocks have the bright feathers. Fish have the long tails. Women have the mall. – Janette Rallison • People are crying up the rich and variegated plumage of the peacock, and he is himself blushing at the sight of his ugly feet. – Saadi • Play not the Peacock, looking everywhere about you, to see if you be well deck’t. – George Washington • Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir, Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine, With a cargo of ivory, And apes and peacocks, Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine. – John Masefield • Recently, while I was in England, I saw a documentary on the BBC about the border between India and Pakistan at Wagah. When the border closes each evening around six o’ clock, the soldiers on each side do these amazing high-stepping peacock march-offs (like a dance-off). The displays are almost identical on each side and thousands gather to watch them. Though they’re patrolling along their separate borders, what comes across is how similar they are. – Matthea Harvey • Ruin, weariness, death, perpetually death, stand grimly to confront the other presence of Elizabethan drama which is life: life compact of frigates, fir trees and ivory, of dolphins and the juice of July flowers, of the milk of unicorns and panthers’ breath, of ropes of pearl, brains of peacocks and Cretan wine. – Virginia Woolf • She is a peacock in everything but beauty! – Oscar Wilde • Simple DNA gradually morphed and evolved, so that you had the coming into being of ever more complex and diverse creatures, until one day you wake up and find there are peacocks and giraffes. Nature is an open-ended experiment based on morphing a DNA code, and ours is an open-ended experiment based on morphing a crochet code. – Margaret Wertheim • Skaters are very much like peacocks. – Jon Heder • Tell me about this Wizard Howl of yours.” “He’s the best wizard in Ingary or anywhere else. If he’d only had time, he would have defeated that djinn. And he’s sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can’t pin him down to anything.” “Indeed? Strange that you should speak so proudly such a list of vices, most loving of ladies.” “What do you mean, vices? I was just describing Howl. He comes from another world entirely, you know, called Wales, and I refuse to believe he’s dead! – Diana Wynne Jones • The Italians are fond of red clothes, peacock plumes, and embroidery; and I remember one rainy morning in the city of Palermo, the street was ablaze with scarlet umbrellas. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • The Italians have voices like peacocks – German gives me a cold in the head – and Russian is nothing but sneezing – Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton • The masculine imagination lives in a state of perpetual revolt against the limitations of human life. In theological terms, one might say that all men, left to themselves, become gnostics. They may swagger like peacocks, but in their heart of hearts they all think sex an indignity and wish they could beget themselves on themselves. Hence the aggressive hostility toward women so manifest in most club-car stories. – W. H. Auden • The peacock in all his pride does not display half the colors that appear in the garments of a British lady when she is dressed. – Joseph Addison • The pride of the peacock is the glory of God. – William Blake • The pride of the peacock is the glory of God. The lust of the goat is the bounty of God. The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God. The nakedness of woman is the work of God. – William Blake • The sparrow is sorry for the peacock at the burden of its tail. – Rabindranath Tagore • The sun fades like the spreading Of a peacock’s tail, as though twilight Might be read as a warning to those desperate For easy solutions.- John – Ashbery • The thing you fail to grasp is that people are not basically good. We are basically selfish. We shove and clamour and cry for adoration, and beat down everyone else to get it. Life is a competition of prattling peacocks enraptured in inane mating rituals. But for all our effacing and self-importance, we are all slaves to what we fear most. You have so very much to learn. Here. Let me teach you. – Christopher Nolan • There are eight different breeds of peacock. I have them all. – Bidzina Ivanishvili • There are no preconditions for jealousy. You don’t have to be right, you don’t have to be reasonable. Take Othello. He was neither right nor reasonable, and Desdemona ended up dead. I wouldn’t mind Leanne ending up dead. I wouldn’t mind exploding her into fireworks of peacock and pearl. – Franny Billingsley • To frame the little animal, provide All the gay hues that wait on female pride: Let Nature guide thee; sometimes golden wire The shining bellies of the fly require; The peacock’s plumes thy tackle must not fail, Nor the dear purchase of the sable’s tail. – John Gay • To Paradise, the Arabs say, Satan could never find the way Until the peacock led him in. – Charles Godfrey Leland • Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go. – Kristen Schaal • We ask ourselves all kinds of questions, such as why does a peacock have such beautiful feathers, and we may answer that he needs the feathers to impress a female peacock, but then we ask ourselves, and why is there a peacock? And then we ask, why is there anything living? And then we ask, why is there anything at all? And if you tell some advocate of scientism that the answer is a secret, he will go white hot and write a book. But it is a secret. And the experience of living with the secret and thinking about it is in itself a kind of faith. – Vaclav Havel • We may put too high a premium on speech from platform and pulpit, at the bar and in the legislative hall, and pay dear for the whistle of our endless harangues. England and especially Germany, are less loquacious, and attend more to business. We let the eagle, and perhaps too often the peacock, scream. – Bill Vaughan • When the peacock has presented his back, the spectator will usually begin to walk around him to get a front view; but the peacock will continue to turn so that no front view is possible. The thing to do then is to stand still and wait until it pleases him to turn. When it suits him, the peacock will face you. Then you will see in a green-bronze arch around him a galaxy of gazing, haloed suns. – Flannery O’Connor • Who cares what a man’s style is, so it is intelligible,–as intelligible as his thought. Literally and really, the style is no more than the stylus, the pen he writes with; and it is not worth scraping and polishing, and gilding, unless it will write his thoughts the better for it. It is something for use, and not to look at. The question for us is, not whether Pope had a fine style, wrote with a peacock’s feather, but whether he uttered useful thoughts. – Henry David Thoreau • Women are a source of energy in life. I’ve always wanted to be in a war or baseball movie, but the thought of having no women on set for six months – that’s hell. I don’t know if it’s animalistic or what, but men become like peacocks with their feathers up when women are around. – Bradley Cooper

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Peacock Quotes

Official Website: Peacock Quotes

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dawnajaynes32 · 7 years ago

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Art, Technology & Optical Illusions: Bradley G Munkowitz’s Phenomenal Places and Spaces

We believe your design team has created incredible work for your company and clients. Show us what you’ve got in HOW’s In-House Design Awards.

You may not know the name Bradley G Munkowitz, but if you’ve seen the movies TRON: Legacy (2010) or Oblivion (2013), then you know his work. Munkowitz, also known as GMUNK, worked on many of TRON: Legacy‘s concepts and designs, including its opening title. He also created interface graphics for the movie Oblivion.

Artist, director, visionary, futurist… Munkowitz has won countless awards and exhibited his work internationally. He boasts big name clients such as Audi, Microsoft, and Samsung.

GMUNK’s BOX

In this HOWdesign.com interview, Munkowitz discusses technology, art, design, and creativity, as well as BOX, a project that he calls “something really special.”

youtube

What lead you to design BOX, and whom did you partner with?

GMUNK BOX was meant to be a technology demo for Bot&Dolly, showcasing the technologies of projection mapping onto moving objects while being captured with a motion-controlled camera system. However, after about 6 months of dedicated development, we decided to refine it into a more of a design and performance piece as well. We simply thought the technology was too impressive to not push the aesthetic, choreography and music—the essentials of a great film—and as a result turned it into something really special.

[Related: French Agency Graphéine on Illusions, Typography & Sustainable Businesses | Beyond the Screen: The Future of Virtual & Augmented Reality in Design]

BOX has won Vimeo’s Top 10 Videos of 2013, The Creators Project’s Best of 2013, SIGGRAPH’S Best in Show 2014, and a Silver Lion for Innovation at Cannes. Years later, it’s still going strong. What’s your response to the accolades and attention it’s received?

GMUNK The best part about this film was that we had no expectations on how it was going to be received—we didn’t expect it to be as influential as it has become, which feels great when the amazingly positive feedback is so unexpected.

What have you and your team learned from working on BOX that you’ve been able to apply to other projects?

GMUNK For me personally it was an introduction into design and animation for the physical space and practical, in-camera effects. Collaborating with the roboticists, architects, cinematographers and mighty wizards at Bot&Dolly taught me to get my face out from in front of the screen and to start thinking about motion graphics in an entirely different way. Fast forward a few years and designing and directing for the experiential space has become a heavy influence in my work, and also a huge passion.

youtube

When you get new commissions and work, if clients have seen BOX or your other design and directorial work, do they want that same visual sensation—a similar aesthetic they’ve seen in your other work—infused into their work?

GMUNK Yes, they sure do! It’s challenging sometimes to break free of the typecast you (or others) create for yourself, as right now I’m the Projection and Lighting Guy—I have been for a few years because of BOX (and Audi A3 Sportback) and other Light-Based projects.

Orbis Integra

So to break free, I’ve been doing other types of work with Drones (Car vs Drones), Car Commercials with heavy CG (Audi A5), Cymatics and High-Speed Macro Photography (Orbis Integra) and interactive Driving Simulations (Acura Mood Roads). In sum, I’m just trying to stay diverse so I have a body of work that potential clients will see and realize there’s more to the Munkowitz than just projection mapping and lighting. I think as a Director in general, in such a competitive field, you always have to stay busy, making and learning, evolving styles and approaches so you can keep up with such a demanding and saturated scene.

vimeo

Orbis Integra

Have you begun working with optical illusions when designing for augmented reality (AR) and/or virtual reality (VR)?

GMUNK Everything in my creative repertoire is always influenced by optical illusions—be it in design, animation, lighting, camera techniques etc. I’ve always been inspired by the psychedelic palette and it’s a huge influence in my work. Regarding AR and VR, I’ve just started collaborating with amazing Unreal and Unity teams to realize some of my more insane ideas in the space. What excites me about the space is the immersion, the detachment from reality as it can take over all your senses and feel very immediate in its feedback—which plays well with my more subversive palettes and aesthetic.

vimeo

Cars vs Drones

Your work is future-forward, pushing the boundaries of design, technology, and illusory space. Naturally, people who look at your portfolio get inspired to make their own future-forward designs. You mentioned psychedelic palettes earlier, which is a throwback to the 1960s. What else inspires you, be it art, music, or design from the past?

GMUNK My inspirations are always evolving, to be honest. The crush lately is shooting with the Technocrane—I shot a Target commercial using one and I’m hooked—I’ve been dreaming of new ideas with them. That’s how it works with me, there’s a repository of ideas and techniques that I want to do, and in the end hopefully a majority of them get explored (but I secretly know that less than half actually will). Other crushes include learning studio photography with medium format cameras, more Infrared Madness in Iceland and Hawaii, Drone arrays in nature as Light sources, Robotics combined with cameras and light sources in unison with long sweeping motion control moves. Vibe-wise, I’m keen on long, drawn out shots with cinematic, almost opera music punctuating a mood—taking my time in edits, really feeling moments. Ha, I don’t know anymore.

Alaska’s Tracy Arm Fjord

In addition to art, design, and directing, you do a lot of photography, such as the landscape images you captured in Alaska’s Tracy Arm Fjord last summer using your modified Fujifilm X-T1 IR full-spectrum camera. The resulting infrared images look as if they came from someplace off-world. How important is experimenting with technology, and how do you apply what you’ve learned on your next commissioned project?

GMUNK Experimenting with technology (toys) is everything to me—I’m always trying to learn new things, collaborating with new people and just pushing myself into being a much more diverse creative. If you keep executing the same techniques and aesthetics, you’ll get bored real quick, especially for people like us who are always pushing to stay relevant and in demand. For creative output and overall conceptual knowledge, it really helps to learn as many technologies as possible, and document these findings so when the next commissioned project rolls through you and your people have a ton of knowledge to call upon to continue to push the envelope. I will say, the most important people in this learning phase are my collaborators—in this industry to do big things, you must have a crew of people whom you rely on to create, without those special people I’m not sure where I’d be right now.

When it comes to technology today and where it’s headed next, what gets you excited? Is there something, some tool, medium, or media, that will help you go above and beyond what you did with BOX?

GMUNK I think real-time movement is exciting—making experiential project scope really compelling. I’m not 100% sold on the VR headsets, but am super keen on large-scale real-time experiences, stuff that Daito Manabe (rhizomatiks) is doing with their real-time tracking and LED sources. Also super inspired by Sila Sveta and Nonotak, how they’re using real-time tracking, immersive lighting, architecture and reactive audio in their projects. Also super into the Bi-Neural technologies in the VR space—makes for incredibly immersive experiences. I gotta say, it’s a really exciting time right now—so much is evolving, and there’s soo many talented studios and individuals putting out incredible work that is more accessible now than ever before.

edited from a series of interviews conducted via email

gmunk.com instagram.com/gmunk twitter.com/gmunk behance.net/gmunk vimeo.com/gmunk pinterest.com/munkowitz

Learn more about Munkowitz’s BOX—a visual phenomenon difficult to explain but rewarding to watch and re-watch—in “Designing Wonder” from HOW’s summer 2017 issue. The article also features other artists and designers who use optical illusions in their work.

The post Art, Technology & Optical Illusions: Bradley G Munkowitz’s Phenomenal Places and Spaces appeared first on HOW Design.

Art, Technology & Optical Illusions: Bradley G Munkowitz’s Phenomenal Places and Spaces syndicated post

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humeresque · 8 years ago

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Les Pinois: Trying-Hard French

(Being Filipino means trying hard to be French.)

You kneaux, in Maurice Arcache's "Cosmo Manille" and even among those on the other side of the railroad tracks, so many people are trying so hard to be French that trying so hard to be French has become an entire industry. We don't notice how much it's been thriving for years, but it's out there.

I guess everything started when the French Baker set up shop and introduced the masses to such panaderya alternatives as baguette and croissant. Le French Baker, owned by Filipino-Chinese Johnlu Koa, is still alive and well today despite strong competition from Le Couer de France and Delifrance. Le trick seems to be to insert "France" or "French" in the establishment's name, and ooh-la-la, the essence of cafe au lait and macaroni au gratin is captured in the tropical heat and humidity of La Manille.

Of course, years before French Baker, we were already fairly familiar with French parfums like Estee Lauder eau de cologne pour homme, French wines (Pinot Noirs, Merlots, and whatnot), and other things French and prefixed with French (bouillabaise, French braid, French kiss, French fries). There too was the popular TV animation character Pepe La Pew, who exuded those notable twin French excesses: romanticism and narcissism. Many of us instantly fell in love with his cursed self. But it was when the pan de sal in our lowly breakfast tables was replaced with garlic toast made from baguette that our French citizenship was confirmed, stamped with mainstream approval.

Next came the invasion of the French films. Le inventeurs of film-making -- descendants of the Lumieres -- treated us for free to watch le classics, from the snooty Cocteaus, Godards, and Truffauts, to the Luc Bessons starring Jean Reno.

Soon, full-blown French bistros and fine-dining restos became too numerous to name, starting from Au Bon Vivant to Le Souffle to any establishment you could name that is suffixed with -ette, -eau, -eaus, -eaux, and -oix and -ois. (Famed expat chef Billy King is now with Le French Corner in Alabang.) Of course, Pinois (enunciated with a flourish as /pin-wah'/) have to out-French the French, no?

Foreign language students next began flocking to Alliance Francaise to enroll in French classes to complete their false identity. I know of many friends and acquaintances who were not ashamed to proclaim they wanted to be French, or at least take up French lessons. There was Rica, who made me aware that Alliance Francaise used to be a stone's throw away from our office near Buendia cor. Pasong Tamo in Makati. There's Cathy who taught me how to pronounce "croissant" right but ended up French-kissing a true-to-life Frenchman instead. There's JJ who, getting tired of Spanish, is now switching to this other Romance lingo that sounds like he has a cleft palate and le UFO got lodged somewhere in his nostrils. I am also reminded of Net, who prefers to spell 'omelet' 'omelette' and pronounce it as /o-me-lay/, with much Gallic flourish.

Le thinkers or intellectuals among these Pinois are especially notorious in wanting to be Frenchified. Most of them have memorized the libretto to the musical play version of Victor Hugo's Les Miserables. (JJ corrects me superciliously, "It should be Le Misera'-bl, not Le Miserab'.") These Francophiles know their Renoirs, Monets, and Matisses (impressionist painters), Jacques Derrida (deconstructivist philosopher), Roland Barthes (literary theorist), Voltaire (satirical novelist), Camus (absurdist, existentialist), Michel Foucault (structuralist, postructuralist, postmodernist philosopher), Jacques Lacan (psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, philosopher), and Jean Baudrillard (sociologist, philosopher, cultural theorist, political commentator, photographer). They would also be not embarrassed to admit they know Alexandre Dumas (of Le Musketeers un le Menage a Trois fame), if push comes to shove.

Ask Pinoi tourists which place they want to visit the most, and they'll most likely say neither Holy Land nor New York, but "Gay Paree!," rattling off in a beat the sites they want to see: Eiffel Tower, Champs-Elysee, Arc du Triompe, and Louvre Museum for a view of le Mona Lisa...

Today, even building names and addresses are given the de-luxe spa treatment. I know a condo in Pasig called Parc Chateau. Parc Chateau? Am I in Nice or what? However, that one along EDSA near Guadalupe, called Parc Haus Suites, looks confused. Is Parc really the French version of Park, as in Marc as the French version of Mark, or should it be Parque? I dunno, but I'm pretty sure "Haus" is German, not French.

Curiously, we've long had, in fact, an entire booklet of lowbrow Pinoy French jokes meant to poke pun at this Filipino fondness for the French. I have heard people point out that "le quod" is French for "likod" ("back"), "le bag" is French for "libag" ("skin grime"), and "icé beau coup pour salé" is French Tagalog for "ice buko for sale." Of course, we know when to command the use of certain diacritical marks (the graves, the acutes, and the tildes) for this purpose. "Icé" is pronounced /ee-say'/ and "salé" is pronounced /sa-lay'/, and who cares what the real French people think?

The French being predominantly Catholic like le Pinois, it's small wonder that devotions to Thérèse of Lisieux, Lourdes, and the Miraculous Medal are commonplace too. Never mind that most of us still tend to say /Lur'-des/ instead of /Lurds/. A vestige of our Spanish trauma, surely.

Lately, our familiarity with the French beyond Jacques Costeau and Marie Antoinette and the guillotine is such that we have become intimately familiar with the finer points of French cuisine. We know what ratatouille is, we know that Alain Ducasse and Emeril Lagasse are celebrity chefs, we welcome Anthony Bourdain into our kichen with open arms and anxiously await his Guide Michelin stars. To demonstrate je ne sais quois or insouciance, we like to be served aperitifs, crepes, creme brullees, canapes, hors d'ouevres, nicoise salad, macarons, mousse, eclair, amuse bouche, pain and poisson, quiche, fondue, cakes with fondant and ganache, souffle, and lapu-lapu Meuniere, with bottled Evian or Perrier on the side. (After some time, it can get so tiresome putting in all the correct diacritical marks, don't you think?)

It has come to a point where we can't tell anymore whether Le Froge jeans, Le Tigre shirts, and Penshoppe tees are already Pinoi or as French as, say, Lacoste, Pierre Cardin, Coco Chanel, Christian Dior, Hermes, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Louis Vuitton, Yves Saint Laurent, and Francois Marithe Girbaud. And, yeah, I almost forgot Ungaro, the sine qua non of haute couture or something!

I have observed, furthermore, that the Ilocanos, for one, are really French behind their facade of burnt skin and tobacco smoke. Why? Simply because of this incontrovertible proof: the French word "quoi" (French for ‘what’) is no different from the usual Ilocano sound of hesitation, "cua." "Awan ti cua…" and "Anya ti cua…" suspiciously sound too much like "je ne sais quoi," oui? We do know too that the French people are passionate about their food to the point of being extreme. Being a gourmet to them means being able to slurp with relish such exotic concoctions as escargot -- much like the frog-inhaling and cricket-snorting Pampangos do. What other cultures regard as vile -- animal kidney, liver, entrails, perhaps even lungs and pancreas, the Ilocanos, not to mention the Pampangos, sautee with such pride and esprit de corps. Some French fine-diners like to feast on a certain bird in the wild called ortolan bunting, and the dish has to be eaten up with a blanket covering the diner’s entire head to savor the delicate flavor most fully. Most likely it’s an aliquot of subtle gamey flavor they’re trying to trap with surgical care and precision. That bizzarezerie -- a formal dinner among cloaked ghouls -- may be a turnoff to other people, but certainly not to confirmed epicures like certain Pinois.

If you think about it, the Pinois' fascination for the French dates back to how many centuries ago. Remember how the menu for the feast during the first inauguration of Philippine Independence in Barasoain Church, Malolos, Bulacan, was in French? Les menu, according to history professor of the day Monsieur Ambeth Ocampo (in his column in Le Philippine Daily Inquirer) comprised of: “Hors d’Oeuvre: Huitres, Crevettes roses; beurre radis; olives; Saucisson de Lyon; Sardines aux tomates; Saumon Hollandaise. [Entrees] Coquille de crabes; Vol auvent a la financiere; Abatis de poulet a la Tagale; Cotelettes de mouton a la papillote, pommes de terre paille; Dinde truffee a la Manilloise; Filet a la Chateubriand, haricots verts; jambon froid-asperges en branche. Dessert:Fromages; Fruits; Confitures; gele de Fraises; Glaces. Vins: Bordeaux, Sauterne, Xeres; Champagne. Liquers: Chartreuse; Cognac. Café, The.”

Ocampo further notes: “Hidden underneath the fancy French names are familiar Filipino dishes: Coquille de crabes was possibly torta de cangrejo a.k.a rellenong alimasag. Tagalog-style chicken giblets listed as Poulet abatis a la Tagale was chicken adobo.”

Turns out French was the lingua franca at the time, neither Spanish nor English. Unthinkable, right? But the antecedent Pinois didn't have a problem with that as neither us, latter-day Pinois, will have any problem with a French Renaissance any moment.

Food critic Doreen Fernandez, in her essay "Beyond Sans Rival: Exploring the French Influence on Philippine Gastronomy" (from the author's 1994 book Tikim: Essays on Philippine Food and Culture), also notes that a French cookbook was published in 1919 in Manila. Elaborately titled, as expected, the cookbook, Fernandez writes, has a cover page that "features a tall mounted French piece like those in traditional classic French cookbooks, captioned: Croquemboucheng caranuian. The word croquembouche (croque-en-bouche) designates 'all kinds of patisserie which crunches and crumbles in the mouth,' like chestnuts, oranges or cream puffs glazed with sugar cooked to the crack stage. The (illustrated) recipe instructs one in the assembling of croquignoles (egg whites and icing sugar baked in various shapes, similar to meringues), and is called 'caranuian' or ordinary, in contrast to Croquembouche a la Reina, which includes 'sweet almonds ground very fine.'"

Croquemboucheng caranuian? That's hilarious! Isn't that, wait, Hispanized-Tagalized French? Only the Pinoi can be trusted to do that.

Why do Pinois love the French so much that they are ready to trade passports any minute? My own answer is: they are apparently after the panache, the joie de vivre, the European sophistication and the fine taste and the high-mindedness of it all, a drastic move away from the native hickery and Hollywood vulgarity. But we already have the Spanish with us, so what do the French have that the Spaniards don't? They are both lustful for life, for sure, but maybe there's something charming about using consonants you don't plan to pronounce or vowels that mislead.

Does everything have to be explained away anyway? Let us just call the X-factor "Le French mystique" then, a big 'mistake' for which we are more than willing to be recolonized.

#philippines #satire

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