#ouvindo clay no repeat

[rhiezus]

“ you can talk to me about anything. you know that, right? “ // jack x geovany

there is this song jack heard the other day while cooking his meal that said something about not being easy to be someone that you never dream to be and it talked about how you feel small in certain situations compared to other people, he had never been the type of person to dwell on his own sob stories but ever since geovany came into his life he seems to be finally picking his own battles to fight. lunch was great that day, he ate his food sitting on the curb in front of the stairs that lead to the dance studio he taught kids while waiting for his next class, and he thought about how lucky he is to be able to appreciate little things in life. he had always been a simple-minded kind of person, he just never realized how that must have worked through his entire life, shielding him from much stupidity. and whenever he felt crestfallen and off control of his own feelings, he would always repeat the words his mother would use to refer to him that at least he was nothing like john.

great people are hard to come by though and he knows that because he was never really surrounded by many role models, besides his parents and a few teachers and friends here or there, he just had to critic his actions by himself. and by some amazing deal of luck again, he wasn't that easily swayed by any side regarding what was right or wrong. in that sense, he was somewhat like john though just choosing to go with the flow and whatever comes next. day after day and battle after battle, he was just living life to be lived like a task that never ends. there were some good memories along the way, but none enough to make him wish to make life wait so he could live it again. that is until he meet geovany and his ordeal just begin to look a little bit too ordinary. everything he said or did was funny to the others, his words as little as they were to him were like big wisdom and his time suddenly started to look like it was precious. he begins to look forward to taking him out to eat every week, to pay for his meals, and sometimes to even invite him over to cook for them, to listen to him talk about whatever, and to encourage himself to be a real person for probably the first time in his life.

they might have overdone on the soju this time because jack felt his eyes wet in front of his friend, he had to blink a few times in a quick response to hide them and drink up another shot. the worst part of it wasn't what was going inside him or whatever feeling he might have towards his complicated and intriguing life, but the way geovany set the tone of the conversation with such a kind and melodic voice. if it weren't for the genuine look of affection in his eyes and the way his expression was so soft that made jack want to touch his idiotic face, he would be definitely laughing, but he felt raw under those eyes, naked and dizzy. "that's enough booze for both of us." he was telling himself that he was drunk, way too drunk and was begging to see things that weren't exactly there. his heart was beating like a drum set in his chest, it was exciting and all at once way too bewildering. he took the four empty glass bottles in front of them and got up to put them over to the sink, he couldn't believe they were so hammered. geovany just had a way of making him seem like the easiest person to be with, all his guards not lifting one finger up.

still up on his feet, he wanted to pace around his room to regain consciousness, hopefully. "you know most of what i say it's just shit, right?!" he begin trying to joke back on, confusingly trying to settle in the things off his couch to sit. his apartment was the size of a shoebox, there weren't any doors between the rooms except for the bathroom. there wasn't that much space to go with so there wasn't much furniture, the living room consisted of a couch and a coffee table that was mostly where jack would eat since there was no space for a real table. right in front of it was a small tv and then his bed, which was a mattress supported by a few beams of wood. all of his things were hidden inside his wardrobe, which was the only thing that seemed like he actually brought with his money besides his pans and kitchen utensils. he enjoyed cooking as much as he enjoyed his place, it was cozy and he was proud to be a clean person, it wasn't that hard to make it organized since it was so small and he had so little. other people might pity his station or the way he was living, so that's why he lied about his address for geovany before. but much to his surprise, geovany wasn't all fazed or disappointed, in fact, he appeared comfortable there which was conventional since jack loved having him over.

"you should stay, it's pretty late." saying that was enough to make his heart rate become quite a concern, but he didn't give it a thought and moved over to pick up his cigarettes from the table they were drinking and that geovany was still sitting at. "but i should warn you..." he began, putting the cigarette on his lips. "oh, do you mind?" he picked the cigarette again, with wide eyes and a cute little expression of wonder. he never bothered to ask geovany if he smoked, he probably didn't but at the same time, he didn't want him to be uncomfortable in his presence to make him not want to come around again. right now in his life, he couldn't afford the luxury of acting recklessly in front of the person he enjoyed being with the most, he was not about to lose him and he already lost too much. he would gladly stop smoking altogether if it were to keep him there forever, it was a stupíd habit anyway one he did subconsciously for a very long time for a reason that he wasn't even sure he knew. and now that he thought of it, just like smoking had been on autopilot so it had been his life. he didn't want to put that pressure on the thought that it was geovany making him take the wheel, because if he actually did he might not be able to set the brakes.