#out-andabout

[es-oh-bfo-em]

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[rawideas]

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[janahanooo]

Yesterday I went to an anime convention, and I though I share some of my fav moments :))

My friends and I just sat down when two Toji cosplayers aproached us (I was budget cosplaying Gojo). It was very funny, because they had the cube that sealed Gojo away and jokingly they throw it at me. Then we talked for a bit and made some pictures. All in all, it was nice :)

At the end of the Con, we decided to eat and talk about the day andabout things that happened, when we heard someone shout "BRING THE BIBLE!". It turned out, there was a furry group walking by, and people next to us dressed as soldiers weren't fond of them. (They somehow managed to get a Bible from a cosplayer dressed as Jesus, which was funny as heck)

And the BEST part was when we got there. We were standing in a line and behind us were a group of friends. One of them was cosplaying Dazai (my love). I jokingly said, that I'm willing to comit with her AND SHE GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE, KISSED MY HAND AND SAID THE LINE. I was soo red after it! And then she just had to make it even more redder, because then she pointed at a Chuuya and when I looked that way she held my face and guided back to hers and GAVE ME A KISS ON MY CHEEK. That made my day honestly.

Yeah. I'm deffinetely going too next time

[gayspock]

ehrm

you know thevery day self involved spiral rant etc etc here it comes. i odntknow. billionand one fucking messages of reinforcement that just dont help because none ever apply, all ever make me feel worse; most are usually insanely patronising as a result or just rub it in how littlethere is to live for cuz if therewas just one fucking thing mabye it wouldnt be like this. whatever and a bit.

i jsut feel so fucking emtpy. i dont fucking care about any of it. i dont know. at least somepeople have something they careabout. im alone. i dont know what to do. i dont have any interests. theres nothing ilike doing. theres nothing imgood at. even if idid try to survive what do ifucking spend my time doing. itjust all feels like a miserable fucking slog . nothings worth it. i feel fucking sick withmyslef all the time. i keep trying to find things. i just fucking tire myself out and get miserabel no matter the approach. i dont fucking know.

i think about dating apps andabout meeting new people. its likeidontknow how to talk about it any more. i feel so embarrassed. like itsnot just loneliness because im alone. but ialso know realisticlaly theres nothing for me to try and talkto people about . just basic questins like how do you spend your time. i dontfucking know. i just spend it trying to make it all fucking go away and i hate it. the onlyway i can fucking cope half the time is just trying to not think about it and thats the only fucking thing there is and idont rememberwhere any of the days have gone and ive spent so manyyears at this point in fucking limbo and i fucking resentevery second of it.

and theresalways fucking something. likesome corny fucker and im sorry for being mean but i cant fucking. ugh. like just let go~ just make ugly art~ just do things imPEErFeCtLy~andfeel it~ ^_^ ,. like dude i dont fucking feel anything ijsut fucking space out i cant connect with anyofit its like onehand in front of the fucking oteher i try to go out i reallyfucking do i try to dothings i fucking feel myself justmiserable there and just wanting to go homewhere no one can see me again ebcause ihate it and thatslike the fucking shameful thing its alwyas the like

yeah. yeah nobodylikes you because theres nothing to you. youre a fucking blank and emptyfucking husk of a person. why cant you just grow up and develop into something. i dontfucking know. i fucking hate all of it. im fucking miserable. im just fucking miserable and i thinkthats all i can be . and itsnot nice . its not nice. itsalways jsut sthut up stop being fucking miserable be better . likeyoudont think i treid that . i jsut burn out. i feel so fucking phony adn fake and sick iwth myself and i tfeel like everyone else can tell. i dontknow. i fuckinng wish i hadany fucking modicrum of fucking passion or lvoe or whatveer the fuck inmy body but i think im just a negative fucking space and its jsut draining and i hate living and its like i wish i coudl bepropeely like toxic or there as soemthing genuinely fucking rancid and its jsut fucking seepsinto everything and i cant conenct with anyhting and i jsut

you know like itsreally embarrassing and dumb actually like how areyou so uncultured howhave you not read this seen this watched this done thais hadthis whatveerhtis i force it down my throat somethingsomething try to bea fucking human for once i feel like im crying all the fucking time lets pretend i gaffff for some approvalthat never comesbecause i cant feel itmyself no matterhow hard i trryyyyy but what but what god i dontknow i fucking

its likestupid shit likeart. god i fucking hated drawing i fucking hated writing i fucking hated singing when iw as younger i fucking hated school i fucking hate sports i fucking hate spending time withpeople i fucking hate being alone i fucking hate eveyrthing every time ifucking do anything i just want to smash it up because i hate it i wish i fucking didnt i jsut fucking hate every fucking singel second of being fucking alive what is theretolive for why wouldyou want that why wuld you fucking bother and the only fucking solution peopleowuld ever suggest is. dont hate it. just dont. but thatshwat i do. i cantmake it stop i cant make it stop ifeel like im fucking running on fumes and fuckingjust forcing it so hard and everyones like HAHAHAHAAHAH JSUR FORCE IT! FORCE IT FO RUS! IT'LL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY!! YOU HAVENT DONE IT WNOUGH! YOU GAVENT FUCKING TRIED HARDENOUGH!!! and itdoesnt matteryoure alone and crying and fucking hateit even more in the end because its too fuckignhard to keep oding it and i cant i fucking cant care i cant fucking car eany more you do nothing but fucking zone out youexist in your own littlefucking world and try not to exist and nobodu would ever want that you dont want that is anyone crazzzzyyyyy i dont know why im alive i dont know why im alive so much i feel like itsjust never worth it its never been worht it imjsut desperate and uckign begging it for to notjust be this FUCKKK BROOOO LOL

[booksofdelight]

Future Proof by David Atkinson

Check out our review for Future Proof by David Atkinson!

Future Proof by David Atkinson By Abby Rose This is one of the few books I have ever read for a second time, I might even read it a third time; suchis the love I have for this story. I will try to avoid too many spoilers. The story starts out with Sam Harris, grossly overweight andabout to be evicted from his flat for non-payment of rent. His social worker has managed to get himonto a…

[brucedinsman]

C.H. Spurgeon - All of Grace

If, however, you are troubled about the power of sin, andabout the tendencies of your nature, as you well may be, hereis a promise for you. Have faith in it, for it stands in thatcovenant of grace which is ordered in all things and sure.God, who cannot lie, has said in Ezekiel 36:26:A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I putwithin you: and I will take away the stony heart out…

[int0design]

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[forestduck]

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