#out of loneliness due to the fact that her other two brothers seduced each other and ignore her entirely

[kylermalloy]

First Line

@evanescentdawn tagged me to post the first line of my WIP—thanks, Yuki darling! 🥰

Rebekah misses the life she carved for herself at court—the pretty things, the attention of men.

Who to tag…who else even writes lol. @whitedahlia13, @konekowrites, @gey-beans, @lilxxbrainrot, @caranfindel, @laertez, and anyone else who wants to share!

[jordan202]

The Journey - Part Three

Here comes the promised update!

Thank you @jia911 and @bluebelle18 for making it so much easier.

Previous Chapters are here:

Part One - Part Two 

Timeline for Part 3:

This one covers episodes 10x23 and 10x24. Derek is going to DC and has handed over his practice and appointed Amelia to replace him. After apparently being on board, Meredith decides last minute that she doesn’t want to go (after Cristina gives her that “he’s dreamy, but you’re the sun��� speech). Owen is dealing with a crazy day and afters weeks hovering around, Cristina finally goes off to Zurich. Meanwhile, Amelia is debating with James on the phone nearly every day because she doesn’t want to go back to LA.

The Journey – Part Three 

Amelia paced back and forth in the living room of her brother’s house. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed and in a matter of days.

When she’d come to Seattle, hoping to get her head straight, the neurosurgeon was kind of hoping the experience would reinforce her wish to stay in Los Angeles, marry James and build a family with him.

But none of that had happened.

As Derek moved back and forth between Seattle and DC, he had progressively referred his patients to her. Day after day, discussions with James over the phone had followed. Amelia slowly got seduced by the big hospital lifestyle until it suddenly clicked that the thing she’d been craving for when she’d left LA wasn’t exactly to start something new in her life, but rather to restart something she deeply cared about and hadn’t been able to focus on lately: her career and passion for surgery.

And Amelia couldn’t believe that the order of events were a coincidence. Just when she’d felt the urge to break up her engagement, knowing that despite loving her fiancé, she really didn’t need or want him in her life anymore, she had been offered the opportunity to stay in Seattle and give her career a full spin.

Amelia cared about James and even though they ultimately wanted the same things in life, it hurt to admit she didn’t want those things with him, or exactly at that very moment. He was a nice, generous person and she acknowledged how amazing he had been to her in a time of need but now, she felt ready to take on the world and explore other possibilities. Unfortunately, she didn’t see where he could fit in that new scenario.

Derek had decided to move to Washington and Amelia now had a big house and a big practice to take after. She secretly hoped that she would also get the job of head of Neuro that her brother was leaving vacant, but she knew it wasn’t very likely. To win the position, Amelia would have to be hired by Owen Hunt.

Taking a deep breath, Amelia shook her head and took a deep breath. She really wanted the job, not only for the status but because she would like to have something to keep her busy. At the same she wished the position, she also wasn’t going to push to get it. At that moment, she would just let life happen and organically follow the new rhythm, taking her time to adapt to change. Whatever came next, she would deal with.

Hoping with all her heart that Owen Hunt was a fair guy who could choose wisely and impartially, even if it meant not choosing her, Amelia set her mind to the new challenge ahead, flipping through the pages of a heavy textbook and old medical charts to prepare for the cases she would see the following day.

.

Owen scratched his forehead, trying to get his stress under control. Everything felt incredibly messy.

His ex-wife was leaving and even though Owen was absolutely sure he and Cristina would never work as a couple, it still hurt that now they wouldn’t even be able to try anymore. Rationally, he knew it was for the best, because the two of them had probably tried more times than it was healthy or wise.

But it wasn’t Cristina’s departure that really was getting to him. It was the notion that now, after she’d left, he would be pretty much on his own.

Despite dysfunctional, his relationship with Cristina had been some sort of link, a connection to someone. Even after their divorce, they had still remained in each other’s lives and even though at times her presence had been toxic, it had also been comforting to know that for all means, he had someone there.

But now, for the first time since he’d come home to Seattle from the war, Owen found himself completely alone.

He knew he was being unfair, for he had his mother and she was the only person in his life who would certainly never turn her back on him. But Owen craved for more. He wanted a person who could share his life and build something with him. It had been easier to convince himself that he could turn Cristina into that person rather than giving a try with someone new but now, the realization that his ex-wife was never going to be that one was finally becoming concrete.

Rejecting with every fiber the feeling of loneliness he had now, Owen let out a heavy sigh and pulled up a file from the folder. Over the last few days, he had gone through a marathon of interviews and discussions to find the most suitable candidate to take over Dr. Russell’s position as head of cardiothoracic surgery, finally settling for Margaret Pierce. And now, much to his dismay, he was probably going to have to do the same exhausting run to find someone to replace Derek Shepherd on the Neurosurgery department.

Owen really didn’t want to go through another round of interviews and have people flying over just so he could spend hours listening to candidates nagging him about why they should get the job. It might not be the wisest solution, but this time around he would find someone within the department. Unlike cardiothoracics, neurosurgery had a lot of senior attendings and extremely qualified personnel.

His choice was supposedly very simple. Owen pulled out the files of the three candidates he was considering offering the job to and perused each one of them.

Jim Nelson was the obvious choice. The guy had been working at the hospital for over a decade now, knew the residents, the staff and the way things worked in his department. Nelson had also been the interim head of Neuro a few times when needed. Owen knew the guy published a lot and was a competent surgeon. But something about Nelson bothered him. The attending struck Owen as being the kind of guy who always played safe and never stood up for himself. And to be ahead of an entire department, Owen needed someone with more motivation, fiber and energy. He wasn’t sure if the colleagues or even the residents would have a lot of respect for Nelson in a position of leadership. Pondering it for a few more minutes, Owen finally opted to discard the file.

Morton was his second candidate. The guy was a brilliant surgeon, had good teaching skills but didn’t exactly commit to work, choosing to stay at the hospital only for as long as necessary. Owen had also heard rumors of his extra marital affairs and even though that was none of his business, it could become a problem later on. It was a known fact Morton was aggressive in the way he worked and Owen imagined that while Nelson was as slow and unmotivated as it could be, Morton would probably eagerly try to take advantage of the position, most likely favoring himself over the department. That was definitely not the kind of leader he wanted for Neurosurgery.

By last, Owen had Amelia Shepherd’s file. Initially, he hadn’t been too excited about giving her the position. Even though Derek had recommended Amelia for the job and she had taken over her brother’s practice, the female surgeon was new to the hospital and overall less experienced than the other two candidates. But even so, her resume was the most impressive. Because of her young age, Amelia had logged overall less OR hours than her competition, but Owen noticed she used to take on more up to date and cutting edge procedures. He had also noticed she was very good with residents and seemed to genuinely enjoy teaching. The fact that Amelia was a lot younger than the other attendings in the department didn’t particularly bother him, but Owen feared it might cause difficulty in inspiring trust on her colleagues. But then again, he had just hired Maggie Pierce who was just as young and this might be something the two newcomers could share and bond about.

Amelia hadn’t been at the hospital for long, but as chief, Owen’s eyes were always seeing in between the lines and carefully analyzing everything around him. One thing he’d noticed ever since her first days was that Derek’s sister had empathy and excellent bedside manners. She was so charismatic that patients often felt engaged and so did residents. At the same time she seemed approachable, he also knew she could be fierce and talk back when challenged, which he fully approved of. He didn’t want someone who would simply agree to everything he said, but a thinking leader who would give him honest feedback, speak her mind and be logical, plausible and fair while doing so. And because she had just arrived, Amelia seemed loaded with energy, eager to do well and willing to improve, at the same time she seemed very well balanced, not rushing into decisions or holding back in fear. As far as being a leader was concerned, Owen thought she could make up for her lack of experience with natural talent.

Overall, Owen believed she could be the most inspiring of the three. But he still hesitated, wondering how the others would feel about it. Morton and Nelson were probably biting their nails, wondering which of the two would get the position. They would definitely be surprised to hear the choice hadn’t been either of them. And there was also the fact that some people would probably assume Amelia had been picked due to nepotism, since her brother had been head of department before her.

But after weighing all the pros and cons, Owen finally made the choice. It didn’t matter what people thought or which rumors would be whispered around the hospital. He was fair and knew that all that mattered was that the job got done in the best possible way. He had to choose solemnly based on what would be best not for him or the candidates, but for the hospital.

And at that moment, Owen genuinely believed that Amelia Shepherd was the best candidate for the position.

.

For the second time in just a few days, Amelia saw herself standing outside the Chief of Surgery’s office. Even though she had regularly taken over Derek’s practice, the neurosurgeon hadn’t really talked to Owen ever since the day she’d caught him fixing Zola’s bike.

Amelia imagined this probably had to do with her recent hiring. Human resources had already taken care of the paperwork to formally admit her as a neurosurgery attending but maybe as chief Owen would still have other things left to discuss.

Three knocks on the door and a familiar come in later, Amelia finally stood in front of the man she hadn’t expected to see again in her life.

“Hey,” She smiled politely at him, taking a seat after he’d acknowledged her presence with a head nod and signaled towards a chair. “I’ve been told you wanted to see me?” Amelia added nervously.

She was intrigued by her own reaction. On their first encounter, she hadn’t been anxious at all, even though he had never met her. And now, after knowing Owen Hunt had already welcomed her to the service he ran, she found herself strangely intimidated.

“Yes,” Owen agreed. His eyes stayed focused on hers the entire time he was speaking and it didn’t go unnoticed to Amelia. “How are you settling in?” Owen asked, formally intertwining his fingers in front of the desk at the same time he leaned back against the chair, looking very relaxed.

Amelia noticed how at ease he seemed to be occupying a position of power and command. Owen Hunt certainly inspired confidence, but not in a cocky, arrogant manner. He looked like a man who was dedicated, took his job very seriously and certainly expected that everyone else who worked for him did the same.

“Everything is good,” Amelia replied, trying to contain a grin. She was enjoying the rush of working again in a hospital more than she could explain. “I like the fast rhythm around here.”

“That’s good,” Owen nodded in approval. He had heard and noticed good things about her but, before letting her know of his decision, he also needed to know if she was interested in the job to begin with. “And the hours? Are you feeling overloaded or...?”

“Oh, not at all,” Amelia interrupted him. “I mean, Derek had a lot of patients and there are people from so many places scheduled to see him. But I am enjoying the challenge.”

Hearing her say those words encouraged Owen.

“How would you feel about adding to your workload?”

“What do you mean?” Amelia asked with a heavy frown. Was he talking about what she thought he was?

“Well, with your brother’s departure, I have a position to fill,” Owen explained with serenity. “I have thought about this and I was wondering how would you feel about taking his job as Head of Department?”

Even though Amelia had hoped she would be offered the spot, she hadn’t really considered getting it. Derek had told her she would take over his patients and that he would recommend her to also take charge of his department but her brother had explained that there were at least two or three other attendings who, being her seniors and having accumulated a workload at the hospital over the years, probably had better chances to get the position.

So to see Owen Hunt offering it to her only days after having met her really touched Amelia.

“I don’t even know what to say,” She confessed, genuinely surprised and flattered, looking from his face to the desk and then to her hands trying to process the information.

“Say yes.”

Amelia looked back into his eyes and saw the determination and security with which he’d spoken the words. Owen certainly inspired leadership.

“Yes.” This time she couldn’t contain a smile and Owen felt something funny moving inside of him at the sight of two dimples forming on her cheeks. “Thank you! I… I am surprised, I really didn’t see this coming at all.” Amelia confessed.

“You don’t think you can do it?” Owen raised one eyebrow, sneakily testing her.

“It’s not that,” Amelia vehemently denied his assumption. “Of course I can do the job,” She sustained his gaze with fierce determination. “I just didn’t think you would consider me, knowing you have other candidates.”

Amelia wanted to add that even though she was grateful and flattered, she was also a bit alarmed. Owen barely knew her and yet he was giving her a vote of confidence. Supposing he was doing it for Derek, and not her, Amelia swallowed hard, more determined than ever to prove that she deserved the position, not because of her brother’s legacy, but by her own merit.

“I believe you can do the job too,” Owen added, hoping he was making the right call. He couldn’t quite explain it, but it was like deep down something was telling him that Amelia was the one, the best choice he could make. And after years of living in the line of duty and going through many things, Owen had learned to trust his instinct. “I expect your full commitment, Shepherd.” He said, intensely staring into her eyes. “Don’t let me down.”

Amelia felt the weight of his words and the power of his gaze. Even if Owen Hunt hadn’t chosen her for the best reasons, he still seemed to be sincere when he said he believed in her. Despite having spent her college and residency years repeatedly proving her potential, Amelia had never really felt like people had taken her seriously, especially her family. All her siblings were successful doctors, very focused and serious about their careers. Even with all her achievements, graduating top of her class and being regarded as the best surgical resident at Johns Hopkins, Amelia had never really had a chance to prove her worth by taking a position of responsibility. It was easy to stand out when she was one among many others, but now she would be alone in the spotlight, the challenge would be much greater, as would the reward. If Amelia was able to do this, a job that felt so grownup and that had once been Derek’s, maybe people would regard her with respect and stop feeling like she was a failure.

Maybe even Amelia herself would stop feeling that.

The idea was very exciting and the neurosurgeon wanted to jump in with both feet. She couldn’t wait to get started. Her eyes once again met Owen’s and she saw the fiery disposition he had. The man exhaled leadership, confidence and strength. And somehow, instead of being frightened or intimidated, she somehow felt supported and inspired.

“Thank you for choosing me, Dr. Hunt. I won’t let you down,” Amelia looked into his eyes with a newfound fire burning inside her, feeling better about herself than she’d felt in years. “I promise.”

.

Owen let out a heavy sigh while striding across the land, grateful that hell of a day was finally over. He couldn’t believe it. For the past two weeks, Cristina had been postponing her flight but today, amidst all the chaos, at last she had gone away.

The day had been so long, with the mall explosion and the possibility of it being an act of terrorism that Owen had barely had any time to properly say goodbye to his ex-wife. But he supposed that was probably for the best. At this hour, she was probably arriving in Switzerland, ready to start a whole new chapter in her life. And for the first time in years, Owen finally felt free.

The past weeks had not only been stressful because of his personal life, but work had also driven him to exhaustion. Among dealing with cuts in the residency, overseeing two new heads of department and dealing with the press, Owen had also found out that April Kepner was pregnant. He was thrilled for her but also knew it probably meant his workload at the ER would definitely increase.

On the other hand, maybe that could be good. Owen wouldn’t mind spending more time inside the OR. He missed it. Working as chief often involved several meetings, paperwork and bureaucratic obligations, leaving very little to no time left for operating. Now, with April having to step down temporarily, he might get a chance to scrub in more often. Timing was convenient for Owen too, for he would much rather spend every minute possible at work than coming home to a trailer that felt as empty as his life at the moment.

His sharp senses developed after years of military training let him know he wasn’t alone. Owen looked around and noticed the slim, small figure gingerly walking towards the clearing in the woods, a couple of yards from his trailer.

“Hey,” He greeted the woman, swiftly coming from the shadows.

“Oh, God, what the hell…!” Amelia replied instantly, obviously startled. Owen noticed how she immediately took her hand to her chest, obviously scared by his sudden appearance. “Do you always sneak up on people like that?” She asked with a grumpy expression.

“Technically, you’ve sneaked up on me,” He reasoned. “I was already here when you arrived.”

“Well, who made you the word police now?” Amelia snapped, instantly regretting it. “Sorry,” She added sincerely. “I am trying to filter… It’s just that you appearing out of nowhere really scared me.”

Owen kept examining her face, struggling to admit he was amused by how easily frightened she was. His entire day had been hell. That had probably been the first time he honestly smiled.

“It so happens that I live here,” He pointed to the trailer a few meters from them. Owen couldn’t help it. It wasn’t like him to so lightheartedly tease anyone like that, but her expression had been so genuine and transparent that he appreciated the first minute void of anguish and drama he’d had that day.

“Ugh, I know, right... how do you do it?” Amelia rolled her eyes, obviously feeling sorry for him. But when she saw the confused expression on his face, she realized he hadn’t been lamenting living there like she´d initially assumed. “Oh, God… Sorry!  I told you… filter.” She apologized again as she pointed to a spot between her brain and her mouth. “I’m working on it.”

Owen held a chuckle and turned his back, walking up to the deck to grab a beer. Once again he offered her one, but she refused. Amelia wrapped her arms around her body and rubbed the sleeves of her jacket, trying to warm up at the same time she wondered how he could be wearing only a shirt and not be shivering from the cold.

“So, how is work?” Owen asked, distractedly picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it into the lake. Amelia noticed the rock bounced three times on the water surface before finally sinking.

“I am enjoying it more than I thought I would,” The neurosurgeon confessed with honesty.

As Owen picked up another rock to once again throw into the lake with that amusing skipping effect, Amelia turned around and glanced over at the house. The lights in the living room were still turned on, which could only mean her brother and wife were still there.

“Haven’t they reached an agreement yet?” Owen asked from behind her.

Amelia turned around, surprised that he knew about it.

“It doesn’t look like they have,” She confessed, unsure of what else to say. “I got home and really didn’t want to get in the middle of that, so I actually for the first time considered taking a walk and exploring the land,” Amelia smiled. “It’s better than walking in on them trying to kill each other.”

“That bad?” Owen raised his eyebrows, reaching out for another stone.

“He really wants to move to DC,” Amelia explained. “She really doesn’t.”

Owen acknowledged her answer with a head nod, took another sip of his beer and resumed what he was doing. Amelia noticed he didn’t ask further questions and she thought he probably was the kind of person who respected privacy. Even though at home he was pretty much just a neighbor, at work he was her boss and she could see why he would be uncomfortable discussing the personal lives of the people who worked for him, especially with someone he barely knew.

But as she kept studying him further, Amelia noticed that there was probably more to his silence. His expression gave away his exhaustion; it had been a long day and she knew it. Several times, she’d heard about the chief having to deal with press and controlling the mass casualty influx that wouldn’t stop arriving in the ER. It was a miracle he still had energy left to throw stones with such vigor. The realization made her imagine that something else was probably troubling his mind, but Amelia didn’t know the guy enough to ask. The way his knuckles would whiten as he closed his hand around the rocks made her think he was probably angry at some level.

“How do you do that?” Amelia asked with a puzzled expression, watching as the rocks he threw would bounce on the water several times before finally sinking in.

Owen turned around for a second and grabbed a flat stone.

“You just have to make it spin like this,” He showed her, doing the movement slowly so she could see it. “It’s mostly about rotation, not speed. Do you want to try?”

Amelia hesitated for a second, but after seeing he was handing her the rock with a mix of surprise and amusement, almost as if daring her to do it, she took a couple of steps in his direction and accepted the object he offered.

Her first throws were awful, but soon enough Amelia got the hang of it. After a while, she found the activity strangely therapeutic. Maybe it had to do with just standing by the edge of the lake, focusing so hard on making the best move that she could easily forget about everything else.

Like how messy her personal life was at the moment.

Amelia lost her concentration for a second and took a sideways peek at Owen. He had remained silent for the past twenty minutes, gazing over at the lake while occasionally helping her find a flat stone to throw. She wanted to ask if he needed to talk about something, but didn’t know if she should. In every occasion she’d been at his presence, Owen had been strictly polite and professional. The only thing she knew about him was that he’d gone to Harvard Med and now ran the surgical department at GSMH. Amelia found it odd how she could know so little about a person and yet feel so comfortable in his presence, especially when they were in complete silence like that.

“The woman I used to love left the country today.”

Amelia heard the words with surprise and instantly looked up to meet his eyes, but Owen kept staring at the lake, as if lost in his own mind. She instantly realized he wasn’t going to share more, but having said that had probably already made him feel better.

“I broke my ex-fiancé’s heart earlier today when I said I was not going back to Los Angeles.” Amelia shared in return, not because she felt like she should say something, but because she felt comfortable doing it. “I felt like I was finally free.” She only realized she´d made a confession after the words had slipped her mouth.

“Me too.”

Amelia looked over her shoulder and met his eyes. Once again, Owen sustained her look, gave a slight head nod, but didn’t offer any more insight. And strangely, she was okay with not knowing.

A thousand words were said in the intensity of his look and before she could process everything, he looked away. Amelia was overwhelmed. At the same time, she was as fascinated as she was frightened by that newly discovered and powerful way of communication Owen had just introduced to her.

He was so intriguing, more than she could have initially considered. Amelia could tell that behind the tough façade and the obvious strength, that man’s soul probably bore more pain than she could possibly imagine. Amelia knew it because, having her share of pain herself, she could easily identify the signs.

It was nice finding someone she could relate to without the need to explain herself.  If she had to take a guess, Amelia would say Owen could probably understand most things better than a lot of people she considered close to her. There were many things left unresolved in her life but right now, she was okay with not exhaustively discussing them over, or trying to find solutions for her problems.

Even if just for that night, while she waited until her brother and wife figured their own life out, Amelia would put her own on hold, knowing that throwing rocks in the lake with a guy she barely knew but in whose company she felt so at ease was strangely enough.

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