#our old name was Unpaid overtime (is this a violation of the Geneva convention child labor or both?)

[yuehua8]

Things that have happened in my Ap chemistry class so far, because I feel like I should document this somewhere

-The first day of school our teacher lovingly told us that we had to finish a lab- 8 minutes before school ended.  We all ended up staying almost 45 minutes after school

-“I can’t get this thing to light” “Move out of the way I’m a pyromaniac”

-Our teacher has also given us good luck charms- little animal figures (and one baby)- which all of us have named (mine is named emo fuckass).  She told us that on the AP test if we cried at it it would give us luck I am taking this to heart

-Our teacher has relayed the important information of how she escaped the police from a party that ended in several toxically drunk adults (there was no food, only alcohol and cake at the party) and a broken bottle fight.  Mind you, this was all done in a dress and sandals, because this was on the beach

-Did I mention the cops showed up because someone was bleeding.  Like heavily injured in the fight, somehow she snuck out by going around and hiding in bushes

-she has also explained in great detail her plan of committing a felony and getting jailed once she retires.

-and has offered many times to help hide any bodies if we needed it

-and told us how to get rid of blood and how to get rid of a body

-One kid falls asleep and stays knocked out the entire class period frequently 

-“Is-is he asleep again?” “Oh my fucking god I wish that were me”

-the same kid has also introduced himself for a project and then immediately walked back out the door.

-When doing our element song videos a surprising amount of people chose to do theirs to the tune of ABBA’s dancing queen

-The utter confusion on our faces when we are handed an assignment is shared across the room and I think it’s beautiful

-“I have no fucking clue what I’m doing” “Neither do I but at least it’s on fire”

-I keep coming up with more and more convoluted names for the APchem group chat and no one is questioning it

-“You are not going to hide under the table” “try and stop me fucker”

-Our teacher has placed her social media on the white board and every single one of us immediately took out our phones to follow her

-“Does she know this is the same video as yesterday?”

“Don’t tell her don’t you dare fucking tell her”

-“VEHENEMETLY” 

-The girl next to me (who I will not name but I love her very much) constantly looks like she is either depressed or falling asleep and all of us are very very concerned

-One guy constantly races to finish all of his water before the special needs kids come to collect the plastic water bottles.  

-“Oh my god shut the FUCK up Shreyas we get it you’rE SMART”

Also in the same vein: “Shreyas help me you’re smart”

-Our teacher has also introduced “Dalton Dollars”, in which if we refer to an element as it’s chemical formula someone can take one of our dollars.  If we don’t have any left then we owe them.  With INTEREST.  Babe introduced a banking system in our classroom 

-also subsequently our entire class declared a truce within ourselves so we don’t loose cash

-“What element is this” “NaCl- fuck wait” “It’s ok I’m not gonna do anything” -The kid who sits next to me shows up to class everyday with a full on entourage, like a full posse.  They crowd around him (and by extension me, i get caged in) and lovingly harass him until class starts and they’re all late as fuck

-“what did you get for-“ “I don’t know I’m waiting for someone to give me the answer” “Good idea” -One kid in the posse frequently shows up the moment it strikes 2:30.  How he manages this is anyone’s guess. -“Why are you wearing children on your ears”

-Our teacher told us that if we broke her bismuth she would be retiring immediately.  We told her that she’s not going to jail that easily -”anyone here feel regret taking this class?” “Everyday”