#our culture puts so much emphasis on romantic partnerships

[autuboho]

“Friendship can be romantic.”

[florasearle]

Our Flag Means Death Paragraph-Rough: 

Our Flag Means Death (2022), is a romantic comedy series directed and created by David Jenkins. The series follows the relationship between Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet, as they develop more than just platonic feelings for one another. Stede Bonnet was a real-life historical figure that within the mainstream, not so many people know about. This is a surprise considering how intertwined Blackbeard and Bonnets lives were. Bonnet was a wealthy plantation owner in Barbados, who abandoned his comfortable and wealthy home for a life at sea. On a chance meeting in Nassau in 1717, after Bonnet had unsuccessfully attacked a Spanish Man of War Ship and was severely injured, Blackbeard took it upon himself to command Bonnets ship, the Revenge.  

“Teach, finding that Bonnet knew nothing of maritime life, and with the consent of his own men, put in another captain.”-Captain Johnson, 1724 

This agreement between the two men has been a great point of interest for historians, as Blackbeard’s motivation is unclear. The most likely possibility was that Teach planned to take over Bonnets ship from the inside. This is something that is touched on in episode four of the series, where Blackbeard tells his second in command, Israel Hands, that he plans to kill Stede and take his identity. Biographer Angus Constam, was of the opinion that Blackbeard took over because Bonnet’s vulnerability was clear, which would have allowed him to make Bonnet his prisoner. Blackbeard is obscured by the various rumours of him being a man of brutality, but this simply did not align with how Bonnet was treated, “Major Bonnet, but has no command, he walks about in his morning gown, then to his books” (Boston News Letter). The series takes on the rumour that the two had a romantic partnership, which is not far-fetched. Being a pirate would have been a draw for gay men as it was a homosocial environment. There was a culture of misogyny on ships, with captains such as Bartholomew Roberts going so far as to order the death of those whose bought women on-board. This is due to the superstition that women bought bad luck onto ships. 

“Men experiencing love or sex with each other on the high seas was not “liberation” or the embracing of a suppressed identity, it was simply a fact”.-Chrsitopher Miller, Historian. 

Much like most of the series, the show takes a stark departure from the facts and uses elements from both of the men's lives to inspire story lines. Throughout the series we are presented with flashbacks to Teach’s childhood memories of his abusive step father. This is taken from one of the many tales of Bristol legend, as it is believed Teach was regularly beaten by his step father and on breaking point, returned the favour, almost beating him to death. Within episode 6 of the series, Bonnet tricks a Dutch merchant ship by putting on a frightening play, using a crafted tentacle inspired by the legend of the Kraken to strike the final blow of fear into the merchants. The Kraken was mentioned previously in Blackbeard's tale of how his father had been killed, the Kraken not being this terrifying monster who victimized him, but Teach who had personally strangled him. This performance triggers Blackbeard, which leads to a breakdown and reveals his true nature: a sensitive man with no wishes to kill, “if I’m honest, I haven't killed another man since”. This is reflective of historical fact, as Blackbeard did indeed, not kill anyone until the day of his death.  

This emphasis on the sensitivity of Blackbeard is premiant to his character throughout this series, particularly when aligned to his aggressive second-in-command ‘Izzy Hands’. Whilst Hands tyrannically commands Bonnets crew, Blackbeard greets each one of them with informality. Despite popular belief, the hierarchal archetype we see in contemporary representations of piracy is inaccurate. In fact, the appeal of pirate ships was due to most being fair in equality that when merchants were raided by pirates, they would join them. Captains of merchant ships were notoriously violent, often torturing, starving and robbing their crew and there was no option to mutiny. Pirates on the other hand, elected their captain, had the option of mutiny, split plunders equally and slept all within the same quarters. However, as documented in The General History of the Pyrates, Blackbeard may have been an exception to this, described to go to the “greatest length of wickedness” and who tortured his crew by suffocating them in the Hold. The darker side of Blackbeard is revealed in the final episode after Bonnet abandons him, his anger taken to the torture of Hands. Blackbeard did in fact, accidentally shoot Hands in the knee, rendering him disabled for life. Once again, we do have to take these tales with a grain of salt, as it is believed that many of the rumors surrounding Blackbeard being a violent man are exaggerated tales, most likely provided by the young Hands, who was only 16 at the time of his piracy. 

The show touches on Blackbeard as being a victim of his reputation, and in turn, the effects on Stede’s perception of their relationship. Within episode 2, one of Bonnets crew, Black Pete, talks of his fabricated tale of his time working with Blackbeard. He describes Blackbeard as a man who when he kills “man, woman, or child, he just gets on with it”. Visuals of Blackbeard align with his tale, touching on the stereotypical presentations we often see in contemporary media: his head is smoke, his eyes glow and the floor pounds with every step he takes.

These representations are witnessed by Blackbeard when Stede presents to him a book in episode 4, his reaction being gone of disgust: “fucking vampire clown”. In this episode, the impact of his reputation is clear. He consoles Stede saying, “It's not even a challenge anymore. People just see the flag and they freak out”. Such is accurate when looking to The General History, where during his trade had “took what he liked...knowing well they dared not send him a bill”.  

Rhys Darby, actor of Bonnet explains how, 

“There's that moment where he just went, ‘oh god, I'm going to have to just leave this because otherwise this guy is not going to be who he supposed to be”. 

Such a moment is represented in the series whereupon Bonnet abandons Blackbeard for his family. Bonnets anxieties are incorrect because we as viewers know that is not who Blackbeard is supposed to be. In his sensitivity, Blackbeard can't see that he is more than his murderous image. Director of the series explains that Edward is “headed towards becoming the monster that people rumored him to be”, reflecting the real life of Blackbeard, who was unable to detach from the monster he wanted people to believe he was and in turn, made contemporary understanding to be deduced to that of legend. 

[flightfoot]

Analyzing Reyna’s romance (or rather, lack thereof) arc and her feelings towards it throughout the series

Recently, Rick published a tweet about Reyna’s orientation, stating “Personally, I see her as romantic asexual and have written her arc with that in mind. (hence the prophecy in HoO) It’s been a struggle for her to figure that out, as she explains in Tyrant’s Tomb. But as always, interpret the text as you wish.”

After reading Tyrant’s Tomb, I figured she was somewhere around ace or aro, so it was cool to see it confirmed that he wrote her with that in mind! Especially since I’m ace myself, and we don’t get a ton of representation. It was just really neat.

In light of that, I wanted to lay out and analyze her arc as it relates to her orientation, to who she’s attracted (or moreso, not attracted) to, starting from her first appearance and continuing through to Tyrant’s Tomb.

Starting all the way from “Son of Neptune”, there’s hints and conversations about Reyna’s love life woven in, with Percy noticing how Reyna reacts to Jason being mentioned.

Reyna grimaced. Percy got the feeling this guy Jason might’ve been more to her than just a colleague. (SON 41)

 Percy doesn’t know much of anything about Jason or Reyna or the culture in Camp Jupiter, so he doesn’t have much of a bias towards thinking they’re a couple because of those factors. For Percy to still pick up on Reyna being especially close to Jason is a pretty good indicator that that wasn’t just other people reading into it, seeing what they expect to see from Reyna - something which DOES happen a lot, and that Reyna goes into in Tyrant’s Tomb.

Jason… Percy couldn’t go very far in this camp without hearing that name.

“The way you talk about him…” Percy said. “Were you two a couple?”

Reyna’s eyes bored into him – like the eyes of a hungry wolf. Percy had seen enough hungry wolves to know.

“We might have been,” Reyna said, “given time. Praetors work closely together. It’s common for them to become romantically involved. But Jason was only praetor for a few months before he disappeared. Ever since then, Octavian has been pestering me, agitating for new elections. I’ve resisted. I’ve resisted. I need a new partner in power – but I prefer someone like Jason. A warrior, not a schemer.”

She waited. Percy realized she was sending him a silent invitation.

His mouth went dry. “Oh… you mean… oh.”

“I believe the gods sent you to help me,” Reyna said. “I don’t understand where you come from, any more than I understood it four years ago. But I think your arrival is some form of repayment. You destroyed my home once. Now you’ve been sent to save my home. I don’t hold a grudge against you for the past, Percy. My sister hates you still, it’s true, but Fate brought me here to Camp Jupiter. I’ve done well. All I ask is that you work with me for the future. I intend to save this camp. (SON 181)

 Initially when she’s introduced, and in the early books especially, Reyna gives off this extremely dangerous vibe, with Percy especially being nervous about her. Her initial proposition here seems very opportunistic at first, with the emphasis being on the power that comes from being her partner first and foremost, and any more romantic (or otherwise) partnership being implied as an add-on. It isn’t really clear whether she has any actual feelings for him or not.

“The point is, Percy, you are the real power on this quest. You are a seasoned veteran. I’ve seen what you can do. A son of Neptune wouldn’t be my first choice, but if you return successfully from this mission, the legion might be saved. The praetorship will be yours for the taking. Together, you and I could expand the power of Rome. We could raise an army and find the Doors of Death, crush Gaea’s forces once and for all. You would find me a very helpful… friend.”

She said that word like it could have several meanings, and he could pick which one.

Percy’s feet started tapping on the floor, anxious to run. “Reyna… I’m honored, and all. Seriously. But I’ve got a girlfriend. And I don’t want power, or a praetorship.”

Percy was afraid he’d made her mad. Instead she just raised her eyebrows.

“A man who turns down power?” she said. “That’s not very Roman of you. Just think about it. In four days, I have to make a choice. If we are to fight off an invasion, we must have two strong praetors. I’d prefer you, but if you fail on your quest, or don’t come back, or refuse my offer… Well, I’ll work with Octavian. I mean to save this camp, Percy Jackson. Things are worse than you realize.” (SON 182-183)

 Reyna’s giving off a “together we can rule” kind of vibe, though for benevolent purposes. And the emphasis on him not being her first choice necessarily but preferring him to other options, along with the casual way she talks about him possibly failing his quest or not making it back compounds the perception that this isn’t really about Percy personally, and not about any attraction she may or may not have towards him, but just what he can offer as far as strengthening the camp goes.

He could tell the audience was over. Reyna was having trouble holding herself together, keeping up the image of the confident commander. She needed some time by herself.

But at the door of the principia, Percy couldn’t resist turning. “How did we destroy your home – that spa where you lived?”

The metal greyhounds growled. Reyna snapped her fingers to silence them.

“You destroyed the power of our mistress,” she said. “You freed some prisoners who took revenge on all of us who lived on the island. My sister and I… well, we survived. It was difficult. But in the long run, I think we are better off away from that place.”

“Still, I’m sorry,” Percy said. “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”

Reyna gazed at him for a long time, as if trying to translate his words. “An apology? Not very Roman at all, Percy Jackson. You’d make an interesting praetor. I hope you’ll think about my offer.” (SON 184-185)

 The bit about Reyna having trouble holding herself together and keeping up this image shows a crack in her earlier portrayal, that maybe she isn’t quite as... impassive I think? As she appears while making her ‘offer’ to Percy. It does make me wonder though, how much of this portrayal of her during this scene was a deliberately planned part of her character arc since the beginning, and how much was Rick writing this in the early stages and slowly figuring out her character along the way. In later scenes, especially in later books, it seemed like less of a purely pragmatic offer, and more of one with at least some twinges of actual desire behind it, albeit only twinges (not like she knows Percy that well anyway).

She glanced up at the warship. Her expression turned a little wistful. “You say Jason is aboard… I hope that’s true. I’ve missed him.” (SON 512)

 Even here, though, at the end of SON, the stalwart commander image she tries to project softens a little, and her closeness with Jason, her desire to see him again, is emphasized. Platonic or romantic, she definitely cares for him.

“Enough,” Reyna snapped. “Annabeth is what she says. She’s here in peace. Besides…” She gave Annabeth a look of grudging respect. “Percy has spoken highly of you.”

The undertones in Reyna’s voice took Annabeth a moment to decipher. Percy looked down, suddenly interested in his cheeseburger.

Annabeth’s face felt hot. Oh gods… Reyna had tried to make a move on Percy. That explained the tinge of bitterness, maybe even envy in her words. Percy had turned her down for Annabeth. (MOA 24)

 Here’s where there starts being some pretty strong implications that Reyna did actually care about Percy more personally, her romantic offer was for more than just convenience sake. Especially with the ‘maybe even envy’ part. The bitterness could just as easily be from just the rejection, but the envy implies she actively wants what Annabeth has.

“Uh, Reyna,” Jason said. “if you don’t mind, I’d like to show Piper around before the senate meeting. She’s never seen New Rome.”

Reyna’s expression hardened.

Annabeth wondered how Jason could be so dense. Was it possible he really didn’t understand how much Reyna liked him? It was obvious enough to Annabeth. Asking to show his new girlfriend around Reyna’s city was rubbing salt in a wound.

“Of course,” Reyna said coldly.

Percy took Annabeth’s hand. “Yeah, me too, I’d like to show Annabeth-“

“No,” Reyna snapped.

Percy knit his eyebrows. “Sorry?”

“I’d like a few words with Annabeth,” Reyna said. “Alone. If you don’t mind, my fellow praetor.”

Her tone made it clear she wasn’t really asking permission.

The chill spread down Annabeth’s back. She wondered what Reyna was up to. Maybe the praetor didn’t like the idea of two guys who had rejected her giving their girlfriends tours of her city. Or maybe there was something she wanted to say in private. Either way, Annabeth was reluctant to be alone and unarmed with the Roman leader. (MOA 32)

 Reyna did have some things she wanted to go over with Annabeth privately, but with the emphasis on Annabeth being able to tell how much Reyna likes Jason, her reacting coldly to him asking to take Piper around the city, along with the way she snapped at Percy for asking to take Annabeth around instead of stating her refusal more calmly, her reactions strongly suggest that she IS hurting from seeing both Percy and Jason with their girlfriends, that she does have feelings for them somewhat, and is trying to suppress it.

“Long story,” Reyna said. “But I remember you well. You were brave. I’d never seen anyone refuse Circe’s hospitality, much less outwit her. It’s no wonder Percy cares for you.”

Her voice was wistful. Annabeth thought it might be safer not to respond. (MOA 37-38)

 I didn’t pull quotations emphasizing this specifically, but Reyna’s loneliness and the strain she’s under as a commander, especially having been the lone praetor for so long, is putting her under a lot of stress. I think at least part of the reason for her hints of envy towards Annabeth and coldness about Jason having a girlfriend, is derived from her not really having had the sort of support that Percy and Jason currently have, that intimacy, that ability to drop the walls and image she’s built up in order to lead and to protect herself.

“I wanted to hear it from you,” Reyna said.

Annabeth turned. “Hear what from me?”

“The truth,” Reyna said. “Convince me I’m not making a mistake by trusting you. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about Camp Half-Blood. Your friend Piper has sorcery in her words. I spent enough time with Circe to know charmspeak when I hear it. I can’t trust what she says. And Jason… well, he has changed. He seems distant, no longer quite Roman.”

The hurt in her voice was as sharp as broken glass. Annabeth wondered if she had sounded that way, all the months she’d been searching for Percy. At least she’d found her boyfriend. Reyna had no one. She was responsible for running an entire camp all by herself. Annabeth could sense that Reyna wanted Jason to love her. But he had disappeared, only to come back with a new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Percy had risen to praetor, but he had rebuffed Reyna too. Now Annabeth had come to take him away. Reyna would be left alone again, shouldering a job meant for two people.

When Annabeth had arrived at Camp Jupiter, she’d been prepared to negotiate with Reyna or even fight her if needed. She hadn’t been prepared to feel sorry for her.

She kept that feeling hidden. Reyna didn’t strike her as someone who would appreciate pity. (MOA 38-39)

 The loneliness is really apparent here, and very explicit. I don’t think it’s even really about ‘romantic love’, as far as the whole thing with Jason goes, exactly, but... being that high level of priority. Having someone there for you closely. I think she at least thinks that a romantic relationship with Jason, or even Percy, may provide that. And that’s something most people need, regardless of orientation. 

“You see?” Reyna said bitterly. “The spear is thrown. Our people are at war.”

“Not if I succeed,” Annabeth said.

Reyna’s expression looked the same as it had at Camp Jupiter when she realized Jason had found another girl. The praetor was too alone, too bitter and betrayed to believe anything could go right for her ever again. Annabeth waited for her to attack. (MOA 253)

 Between this sudden attack out of nowhere, Jason disappearing and returning with having bonded with these new people, especially Piper, and having ‘changed’ as she said, no longer having anyone around she’s close to... well. She’s just managing as best she can.

In the center of the line stood Reyna, her metal dogs Aurum and Argentum at her side. Upon seeing her, Jason felt an incredible pang of guilt. He’d let her believe they had a future together. He had never been in love with her, and he hadn’t led her on exactly… but he also hadn’t shut her down.

He’d disappeared, leaving her to run the camp on her own. (Okay, that hadn’t exactly been Jason’s idea, but still…) Then he had returned to Camp Jupiter with his new girlfriend Piper and a whole bunch of Greek friends in a warship. They’d fired on the Forum and run away, leaving Reyna with a war on her hands. (HOH 247)

 I couldn’t find much about Reyna’s relationships with others in HOH since she’s barely in the book. From the looks of things, he’d at least believed that Reyna wanted to be with him actively long-term, something which jives pretty well with previous passages concerning Reyna’s relationship with Jason. Makes me curious how exactly they interacted in the past, what went down between them.

Also more emphasis on Reyna being stressed and on her own. That seems to be pretty heavily associated with anything talking about her love life.

So far in the ancient lands, she’d only seen one place on her wish list: Diocletian’s Palace in Split, and even that visit had hardly gone the way she’d imagined. Reyna used to dream about going there with Jason to admire their favorite emperor’s home. She pictured romantic walks with him through the old city, sunset picnics on the parapets. (BOO 75)

 And then comes Blood of Olympus, where we actually get to see Reyna’s perspective, her thoughts, instead of having to infer them from other characters’ perceptions of her. The daydreaming about going on trips with him and explicitly ‘romantic’ walks and picnics seems like she genuinely desired that to some extent. Though I do notice those are pretty cliche desires, so that may also feed into the part of her arc with feeling pressured to perform a certain way, to ‘be’ a certain way, and believing that this is how to find happiness.

She found Thalia’s eyes distracting: electric blue, intense, and alert, so much like Jason’s. (BOO 221)

 Just wanted to note this bit, since she’s paying special attention to Thalia here, especially her eyes. Though I’m iffy about this representing attraction to Reyna, since Thalia’s eyes are often commented on (at least in their heads) and a major factor in paying attention to them seems to have to do with them being like Jason’s, which could account for the focus.

The giant’s eyes clicked and dilated. Red laser dots floated across Reyna’s breastplate. “Ah, the young praetor. I admit, I’ve been curious. Before I slay you, perhaps you’ll enlighten me. Why would a child of Rome go to such lengths to help the Greeks? You have forfeited your rank, abandoned your legion, made yourself an outlaw – and for what? Jason Grace scorned you. Percy Jackson refused you. Haven’t you been… what’s the word… dumped enough?”

Reyna’s ears buzzed. She recalled Aphrodite’s warning, two years ago in Charleston: You will not find love where you wish or where you hope. No demigod shall heal your heart.

She forced herself to meet the giant’s gaze. “I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.” (BOO 238)

 It just occurred to me that I really have no clue how Orion knows about Reyna’s love life. Like I know Python can provide some intel, but was that detail REALLY that important? 

Anyway, this statement by Reyna, “I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.”, is an important step in how she relates to romance in general, and in her portrayal in the series, particularly in the Tyrant’s Tomb. Before this a lot of emphasis was placed on her being rejected by Percy and Jason, and of at least somewhat wanting to be with them in some capacity, or at least believing that she did. After this she seems more at peace with herself and less focused on past or present pursuit of relationships for herself.

“Once in Charleston, Venus told me something. She said: You will not find love where you wish or where you hope. No demigod shall heal your heart. I- I have struggled with that for…” Her words broke. (BOO 492)

 Near the end of BOO, she finally talks to someone about this. A lot of people know, but... well, with the emphasis on how alone she is, how she has to keep up appearances, it doesn’t seem like she’s really gotten a chance to break down and talk to someone. I’m glad she got to do it with Piper. And this proclamation, this prophecy, the seeming hopelessness of it that appears to re-emphasize her being alone, along with implying that she’s broken in some way with the reference to her needing to be ‘healed’... I can only imagine how it would torment her.

Reyna rolled her eyes. “If I had a denarius for every time I got that question… Aside from the fact that Thalia is in the Hunters, and thus sworn to celibacy… why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance? Thalia’s an excellent friend. Why would I risk messing that up?” (TTT 228)

 By TTT she’s had a lot more time to come to terms with her thoughts and feelings about relationships and romance, plus she’s not alone anymore, though the situation is still dire and stressful. While during HOO her being without support and having to manage everything by herself was interwoven with the narrative about her feelings towards Jason and Percy and her lack of romantic relationships, that’s not present here. In fact, it’s the opposite, with her having a strong friendship and having no desire to turn it into something romantic. It seems like those concepts became unbundled, with her having strong support and friendship unrelated to any romance.

Reyna broke a dry branch off a shrub and flicked it into the underbrush. “I went on that quest with Jason, what, two years ago? Venus took one look at me and decided… I don’t know. I was broken. I needed romantic healing. Whatever. I wasn’t back at camp a full day before the whispering started. Nobody would admit that they knew, but they knew. The looks I got: Oh, poor Reyna. The innocent suggestions I got about who I should date.”

She didn’t sound angry. It was more like weighed down and weary. I remembered Frank Zhang’s concern about how long Reyna had shouldered the burdens of leadership, how he wished he could do more to relieve her. Apparently, a lot of legionnaires wanted to help Reyna. Not all of that had been welcome or useful.

“The thing is,” she continued, “I’m not broken.”

“Of course not.” (TTT 233)

 This conception about “being broken” is something aces tend to end up feeling, at least without knowing more about asexuality. I didn’t get it as much since I wasn’t surrounded with as much emphasis on dating and sex as a lot of other people are, so I started figuring out maybe I was different from most other people only awhile after having run across the term; I just figured it was normal to have this attraction thing start up sometime later, like late teens or so, and that I didn’t exactly know what people were talking about anyway so maybe I just didn’t recognize it. By the time I figured out that I probably wasn’t going to develop this “sexual attraction” thing anytime soon I already knew about different sexualities and was able to research the topic to see what best description best fit my own experience. So I’m glad Rick touched on Reyna’s discomfort here. With some of the earlier passages I think she may have come to view herself the same way other people were viewing her, as needing a romantic partner to help her, but now she’s realized that was never really necessary for her; she doesn’t need that in her life.

After this, the whole scene with Lester awkwardly asking Reyna out occurs, and she figures out how ridiculous all this stress over who she should be with is, that it’s not something she needs to force herself to do, to dedicate all this time and energy too.

“My whole life, I’ve been living with other people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be. Be this. Be that. You know?”

[…]

“But the whole time I’ve been a leader here,” she forged on, “I was looking for a partner. Praetors often partner up. In power. But also romantically, I mean. I thought Jason. Then for a hot minute, Percy Jackson. Gods help me, I even considered Octavian.” She shuddered. “Everybody was always trying to ship me with somebody. Thalia. Jason. Gwen. Even Frank. Oh, you’d be perfect together! That’s who you need! But I was never really sure if I wanted that, or if I just felt like I was supposed to want it. People, well-meaning, would be like, Oh, you poor thing. You deserve somebody in your life. Date him. Date her. Date whoever. Find your soulmate.”

She looked to me to see if I was following. Her words came out hot and fast, as if she’d been holding them in for a long time. “And that meeting with Venus. That really messed me up. No demigod will heal your heart. What was that supposed to mean? Then finally, you came along.”

“Do we have to review that part again? I am quite embarrassed enough.”

“But you showed me. When you proposed dating…”

She took a deep breath, her body shaking with silent giggles. “Oh, gods. I saw how ridiculous I’d been. How ridiculous the whole situation was. That’s what healed my heart – being able to laugh at myself again, at my stupid ideas about destiny. That allowed me to break free – just like Frank broke free of his firewood. I don’t need another person to heal my heart. I don’t need a partner… at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms. I don’t need to be force-shipped with anyone or wear anyone else’s label. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So thank you.” (TTT 405-406)

I understand her confusion here about whether she herself wanted to be with someone, or whether she felt like she should enough that she forced some facsimile of those feelings onto herself. I suspect that there were at least twinges of genuine romantic feelings concerning Jason at least -  a lot of the focus around romance is in regards to him, and some of her reactions regarding him appeared to be more instinctual to me, like her reaction to him suggesting showing Piper around the city. Now how strong those feelings really were and whether they’d sync up well with a romantic relationship, I’m not sure. Just because you can imagine a relationship being one way, actually experiencing it you may find it’s not for you, that conceptually it’s appealing but not when actually trying to have one.

She doesn’t seem entirely sure of her own feelings as far as dating someone goes either, but she’s letting go of the idea, of the feeling that she needs to figure it out now. She can just... be. 

When I was first trying to figure out what the heck my orientation was, I fretted about it for a bit, trying to analyze my own feelings and compulsions. I thought demisexual or asexual, and as for my romantic orientation... bi perhaps?

Eventually I just... stopped worrying over it. At least all that much. Pretty sure I’m ace, but romantic orientation I’m still unsure of, though I’m currently leaning aro. And even in my twenties, I’m not totally clear on it. And I don’t have to be. Neither does Reyna. If she ends up with feelings for someone, of whatever gender, that’s fine. If she doesn’t, that’s fine too. Maybe she’ll end up changing what she thinks of herself, what she believes her orientation is as she has more experiences. Or maybe she won’t. It’s good either way.

Joining the Hunters decoupled the themes of loneliness, of isolation from HOO with the idea of romantic relationships even more thoroughly. She has that sort of camaraderie with them. She doesn’t need to be strong for them, to be the high leader. She has that support, along with not needing to be responsible for so many people’s welfare and morale anymore, all without any romantic pressure. She can just chill. There’s a reason she regards it as a vacation. And seriously, good for her!

Side note: based on the focus Reyna has on male characters as possibly being viable partners while not seeming to consider any female characters in the same light, even listing Jason, Percy, and Octavian (though I kinda doubt that was romantic) as ones she considered, but listing Thalia, Jason, Gwen, and Frank as people she was shipped with, I suspect that she’s hetero-leaning. It’s hardly conclusive evidence though, headcanon what you like.

[sol1056]

stop and un-remember this

Step away from the echo chambers of twitter and tumblr, and set aside the pockets of the internet where reviews live. Most of a show’s viewing audience -- hell, the vast majority of the US -- doesn’t reside in those places. 

For the casual viewers who make up the silent majority of almost every viewing audience, there’s minimal interest in any convention circuit, or interview, or much of anything outside Netflix’s selections. (This is one reason for having reviews and interviews showing up in a half-dozen venues, to try and grab as many low-engagement viewers as possible.) 

What that means is that, for the majority of viewers who are not as plugged-in as the core fandom, the story exists only as it’s shown on their screens. So let’s step back from JDS’ and LM’s ex-canonical explanations, and look at how the story appears when taken solely on its own merits. 

Behind the cut: five things the story doesn’t explain, and how the actual narrative might appear to a casual viewer. 

1. Shiro has a degenerative disease; while perhaps not terminal, it does sound inevitably debilitating. 

This is quite a bombshell, and it’s never mentioned again. Nothing in the story offsets or contradicts what Shiro -- or anyone else -- says in S7E1 about how much longer he’s got. 

SHIRO: I’ll only be able to maintain my peak condition for a couple more years.

This is underscored by the series’ use of timeframes (to a greater degree than any previous season). We know Shiro spent a year as a prisoner, and from Pidge’s later comment about ‘four years’, we can deduce it’s been another year since then, plus a magical three-year timeskip in the return to Earth. 

That means that for casual viewers, the season is shadowed by this assumption that Shiro has an expiration date -- and it’s not that far off in the future.

2.  Keith inexplicably stops pressuring Shiro to take position as Black Paladin.

Nothing is said anywhere as to why Shiro is no longer tied to Black nor the Black Paladin. The closest we get to even a nod in that direction is when all but the five current paladins are frozen, in S7E6.

ALLURA: Coran is frozen as well. Our paladin armor must have protected us from the shock.

The problem is Shiro’s wearing armor, too, and he’s also frozen. That single line (and his exclusion from the bulk of that episode) seems to stand in for the message that Shiro is no longer a paladin. 

At the same time, S7 had a complete absence of any protest from Keith. We’ve had 50+ episodes of Keith insisting -- even when all evidence pointed to Shiro’s death -- that Shiro remained the Black Paladin.

KEITH: Shiro is gone. He was the Black Lion.

A casual viewer might decide Keith’s silence in S7 meant Keith realized he’d been wrong all along. That in fact, the mantle of Black Paladin passed to Keith upon Shiro’s “death,” and the clone taking Black was another indication of the clone’s wrongness. That is, the clone stole Shiro’s memories and appearance, and Keith’s position as Black Paladin. 

3.  Shiro’s physical abilities are downgraded significantly.

Most of the fight scenes across S7, Shiro does little, if he’s even present at all. Krolia lampshades this by saying Shiro’s still recovering.

KROLIA: No, you’re still recovering. I’ll do it.

And in the last stretch of S7, Shiro’s contribution amounts to telling other people what to do; his previous physicality is reduced to acting as a conduit for Sam to hack his brain. And finally, Sendak defeats Shiro easily, compared to S1 where Shiro fought him to a draw. 

A casual viewer might thus assume Shiro himself chose (offscreen) to refuse Black’s position, between adjusting to a new body and the last stages of a genetic disease (since a clone with identical memories would reasonably also have identical physical aspects). 

4. Shiro has the clone’s body, but not the clone’s memories.

In S7E1, the high-drama element is whether his awareness can fix itself to an unfamiliar body. Shiro calls out the clone-situation only once. 

SHIRO: Well, I'm sorry, Lance, but I guess having my consciousness transplanted from the infinity of Voltron's inner quintessence into the dead body of an evil clone of myself has left me a little out of sorts for the past few weeks. 

Later, Shiro mentions his “disappearance,” and says dealing with the long dark passage alone required adopting routines. He never references any events that happened during his absence. The narrative is pretty clear, so it’d be reasonable to conclude the two had completely separate experiences, and Shiro has none of the clone’s memories. 

In short: Kuron was evil, is now dead, and has no further influence on events.  

5. While we’re at it, a casual viewer might be unaware of the intended subtext of Shiro’s relationship with Adam. 

Yes, yes, I’ve seen all the arguments that say it’s supposed to be coded as romantic, but it’s full of contradictions that create a certain ambiguity. For one, they’re in the officer’s club, with other people present. Second, although Adam asks what he means to Shiro, his next line could imply a long-term partnership of a military kind. 

ADAM: Every mission, every drill, I’ve been right there with you.

Although the EPs/writers seem to put family together to a frightening degree that a modern military would never condone --- Matt and Sam on the mission to Kerberos, Veronica going with Lance to the battlefield --- that’s just not the assumption the average person is going to make. 

In writing, you always put last what you want to stick in the reader’s mind. The order here leaves room for viewers to skip over any implications in the first line to linger on the second, which could be ambiguously platonic. A viewer not actively looking for queer representation could interpret this as Adam being afraid for his best friend, and possibly a bit jealous at being left behind. 

At no point -- in that first episode, or later, when Shiro learns of Adam’s death -- does anyone speak of their relationship. Nowhere does Shiro even put a word to it. If casual viewers had already coded them as best friends or near-brothers, Shiro’s grief is still comprehensible and relatable. In some ways, the platonic aspect of other pop-culture bromances (ie Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers) are just as strong, with mourning just as severe. 

Honestly, there was more in a few lines’ exchange between Ezor and Zethrid to indicate a romantic relationship than there was in all of the Shiro/Adam interactions or references. “I’ll always take care of you” and “that’s my girl” are pretty unambiguous, especially given the character designs (and previous interactions) make it pretty clear these two are not siblings. 

And --- unlike with Adam and Shiro --- they’re storyboarded with a certain intimacy. They’re alone, and Zethrid gets in close in Ezor’s personal space, with Ezor neither pushing her away nor recoiling. 

ZETHRID: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.

If casual viewers had heard anything in passing about LGBT+ rep in VLD, it’s entirely possible they could’ve assumed this was the rep intended. Of course, both die in a fiery explosion not long after, but who’s counting. 

in the absence of in-story explanation

It seems to me that a casual viewer --- lacking the EPs’ explanations --- might have found S7 somewhat confounding. Is Shiro now unable (or not allowed) to pilot Black because he occupies someone else’s body? Is Keith’s tacit appropriation of the Black Paladin mantle meant to signal the S4 handoff was a mistake? By virtue of his disease or his victimhood in Haggar’s schemes, is Shiro no longer qualified to be a paladin? 

The season’s also full of characters framed as though we should care as deeply about them as we do about the core protagonists. Adam, Colleen, Iverson, Sam, and a dozen or more Garrison cadets and officers, all better trained, better disciplined, and better equipped than Voltron itself. They not only get two episodes of backstory (twice what Voltron itself got), they dominate most of the second half of the season.

Meanwhile, the protagonists struggle, needing Shiro to tell them what to do; they’re almost their own worst enemies more than Sendak is. Compared to the Earth forces who rally repeatedly, the Voltron team barely hangs in there. They need Shiro’s ultra-ugly oversized insta-mecha to intervene, before Voltron can get its act together long enough to strike the killing blow.   

Honestly, it’s no surprise the first flush of audience reaction is so unhappy, if the majority were unaware of the EPs’ explanations. Almost all contradict point-blank what we see in the story itself: 

Shiro’s disease was cured during his imprisonment or cured in the cloning process, but either way he’s fine, now

The clone was neither evil nor brainwashed, just basically Shiro doing his best until Haggar struck in late S6

Shiro and the clone are now merged consciousness, with Shiro retaining his memories plus that of the clone’s

Shiro’s link to Black has been permanently broken by Allura’s transfer; he’s no longer a paladin, full stop

Shiro and Adam were in a long-term relationship, either currently engaged or heading that direction, at the time of their breakup

None of that shows up in the narrative. None of it. 

Lacking that ex-canonical information, it had to have felt as though the story’s expected trajectory was just thrown out the nearest window. Coupled with the extreme emphasis on an entirely new set of characters, I wouldn’t be surprised if casual viewers got the impression that S7 existed solely as setup for Voltron to gain a new and better set of paladins.

[suitablysublime]

As kind of a companion piece to my earlier post abt gender in Wonderland, sexuality in Wonderland is not particularly socially important, and Wonderlanders lack any specific labels for it (think “I just like women” instead of “I’m a lesbian”). 

This is mostly down to their just not being any real cultural emphasis on romance—socially, Wonderland is very community-oriented, and the expectation is that you fulfill your need for companionship by developing a network of many types of relationships rather than seeking out a romantic partnership specifically. And if you do fall into love with somebody? That’s just another connection in a vast web of connections. It isn’t unimportant, but doesn’t have the same primacy that it does IRL.

Insofar as Wonderlanders do think about romance and sexuality, they see it as an urge to find one’s perfect complement. This kind of goes back to the same thinking that puts classical elements in complementary pairs and defines masculinity and femininity in the messy, overlapping, internally contradictory way Wonderlanders do; the idea is that you’re drawn to the sort of people whose strengths and weaknesses directly counter yours—for better or worse.

This concept bears no resemblance to IRL complementarianism, which is the idea that men and women are intrinsically different and designed to join together in complementary pairs; quite the opposite. As discussed in the gender post, Wonderlander definitions of masculinity and femininity have a great deal of overlap and contradiction, and the ways they relate to the four genders are rather nebulous and personal, so to Wonderlander thinking the idea that a successful relationship requires a masculine (male) participant and a feminine (female) participant is utter nonsense. 

For example you might be a man with a deep connection to masculinity, exclusively attracted to other men who express masculinity in different ways than you do, perhaps by embodying the masculine aspects of change and creativity while you embody the masculine aspects of endurance and stability instead. That’s a perfectly good complement in Wonderlander terms. 

Which is to say, no one in Wonderland bats an eye at attraction to one’s own gender or to multiple genders, anymore than they would at attraction exclusively to a different gender. It’s not something really talked about much, though. Not in the sense of being taboo / impolite / secret but more because it’s just... not considered very noteworthy—because people who in our world would be gay/lesbian/bi go around openly living their lives and loving who they love and it’s all very commonplace and normal.

[jocelynbass1991]

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Can I Save My Marriage Quiz

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Save A Broken Relationship

That means not only for her unhappiness, it is not the first step in building that relationship and in the event will persist.Acceptance means putting up with much better than you were dating someone new.Problems are very different, and by sharing your inner self with humor.In some situations, though, it might give your marriage that is your marriage, come to an end?You also need years of experience in marriage are the only person harmed with your spouse?

You shouldn't be embarrassed or get your marriage you will find that your partner may feel the love back into their past and tell her your side of your mind and view the problem in achieving this.Keeping a marriage stem from incompatibilities and incompatibilities are bound to crop up in a relationship.Another reason why it's important to try to steer clear of behaviour that would keep themselves worried and depressed.Even though the trained behavior didn't follow.You will also aid in what you have doubts and you will soon get bored of each other's point of view- There are 3 things that count, and if you try to take a different kitty condo article give me a few minutes.

[forbesjames96]

Can I Save My Marriage Alone Top Ideas

You owe it to be fair for both of you needs to take steps to make the process below - it may not like this.From experience I know this is an unsure time but, you can save the marriage.You can't deny that truly matters in your desire for each of these signs existing between you and your spouse like you don't fully understand why there are numerous examples that illustrate this fact.It definitely is actually becoming rarer that couples who have shared wonderful moments together.

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To make that happen, you need to address the situation so you two can stay calm, and be kind hearted and compassionate.Observe if your spouse just because you are in marriages don't necessarily have to change the way that they are weak and need with each other?For the sake of fixing it or not you believe it or is it someone who is usually many issues it's not good, that is better than anything else.I have mapped out 3 crucial steps need to cool things down.Another common cause of divorces are definitely not out.

A person must always remain calm when problems arise in a marriage where both of you and your marriage to Jennifer Bush?By the time to sit down together, talk out what the best of marriages.Stay away from the fact that you still need some time to be going to turn into a marriage.All right, maybe your partner to participate and co-own the decision that you need to know you can't handle it yourselves anymore that you do not completely believe in would also be your best to resolve both large and small issues.The idea of saving the marriage that has been committed, so covering up your unfaithfulness, and rely on guesswork.

Best Age To Get Married To Avoid Divorce

If you're a failure on your way to deal with like paying bills and children.This can be broken by separation and divorce?Unfortunately, in some cultures that place emphasis on marriage from divorce, things to do, and the bad, through happiness and sadness.Relationships have survived seemingly insurmountable odds, becoming wonderful partnerships featuring love, stability and relationship you love, you are about to take action and getting both partners often shy away from boredom and even after years.Show your partner begs forgiveness and wants of the many options that can help retrace the steps below the tools you need to analyze your situation so be careful in such a situation that you can apply to individual counseling and it has nothing to lose feeling for the many negative emotions to ruin your children's feelings.

Only after years down the highway you can both see what might be wrapped up around the park and rain starts pouring down.If your spouse know that his decisions are also important to sit down to or to dispense with meaningful advice.In the event you had received through the pain of divorce would be to concentrate on the right resource you could soon end up filing for a weekend vacation.You do not think that once persons begin thinking of divorce?These factors sometimes creep into marital affairs.

[littlemisswolfie]

So

It’s late and I’m tired and frustrated and I may end up regretting this, but that’s a problem for future me, not present me.

Underneath the read more, I’m going to post a research paper, complete with scholarly, peer-reviewed secondary sources as well as primary sources, I wrote a few months ago for my rhetoric class. It’ll be posted as a regular text post since I can’t figure out how to attach a PDF to a post like this, but if I figure it out, I’ll change it to the PDF instead. I researched, originally, the broad issue of asexuality, but I found during my research that I could write something else much easier: why straight and gay people seem so distrustful of ace people.

If you’re already angry, my anon is on. Fight me. I’m not sorry I did this research, and I’m not sorry I shared this with a predominantly straight class. I can only hope it helps open dialogues and help ace kids coming to this site know it’s not their fault people are nasty to them.

Raeanne Horton

Professor Garbelotto

Rhetoric 105

29 November 2016

Discrimination Against the Asexual Community

When most people hear the word “asexual,” they probably usually think of plants or cells that reproduce asexually, or without a partner. What many people are not aware of, by no fault of their own, is that asexuality can also apply to human beings. According to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, an asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. It is, unlike celibacy, not a choice, and one percent of the U.S. and U.K. population identify as asexual (MacNeela et al. 799; Cerankowski and Milks 653). Why, then, do so few people know that asexuality exists? The most likely cause seems to be discrimination by the monosexual community, gay and straight alike, and especially online, where the asexual community is the most visible.

To truly understand discrimination against a group of people, one must first know what makes this group of people distinct from the rest of the world. Sex is a huge part of our day to day lives; it is inescapable. Companies use sex to sell everything from cars to hamburgers. In a society constantly bombarded by images of sex, where does a person who is not excited by it fit? Due to the lack of representation, many people spend years of their life not realizing asexuality is a valid sexuality. Many self-identifying asexuals report feeling like they were broken or strange before finding there was a name for what they felt. Asexuality has also been found in various other species of animals in the wilderness, as shown by Bogaert’s Asexuality: What It Is and Why It Matters: “Within sexually reproducing species, such as mammals, there is often evidence that a percentage of animals have no interest in, or attraction to, potential sexual partners and are thus construable as asexual” (363). This shows that asexuality is perfectly normal. If it can be found in several different species, it becomes harder to refute as a hormone imbalance or as a disease, as some common arguments against asexuality suggest. To back this argument up is Hinderliter’s article How is asexuality different from hypoactive sexual desire disorder? Hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD, is defined as persistently or recurrently deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity. Hinderliter says, “One of the most important differences between asexuality and HSDD is their valuation of lack of sexual interest/attraction. HSDD regards lack of sexual interest as negative, whereas asexualty value’s lack of sexual attraction as neutral or positive” (173).

Another aspect of attraction, asexual or otherwise, that many people tend to overlook, is that there are several different kinds of attraction. The most common type of attraction is sexual attraction, which describes what genders an individual is attracted to on a sexual level. Romantic attraction describes what genders an individual is attracted to in regards to romance (dating, holding hands, kissing, partnership, etc.). Sensual attraction describes wanting to be touched (not necessarily in a sexual way) by a person. Aesthetic attraction describes thinking a person is attractive without any desire for a relationship. Most people’s sexual and romantic attractions are the same (eg. a heterosexual man is usually heteroromantic as well), but with asexuals, the line gets a little blurred. Asexuals and aromantics are very adamant about distinguishing themselves from each other, suggesting that many asexuals have romantic attractions and aromantics have sexual attractions. This does not, by any means, mean the two are mutually exclusive; there are several aromantic asexuals that are proud of their orientations.

Yet another misconception about axexuals is that they do not have sex. Asexuality is defined as the lack of sexual attraction; it does not, anywhere, mention a lack of sex drive or desire to have sex. There are many asexual individuals that enjoy having sex or have high libidos. Others are very much disenchanted with the idea and want no sort of sexual contact. Asexuality is also on a spectrum: some individuals experience sexual attraction very rarely (“gray aces”), some do not develop sexual attraction until they form a close emotional bond (demisexual), and some experience no sexual attraction at all. This paper does not differentiate between the different parts of the asexual spectrum because these concerns apply to all of them and, therefore, does not need to be broken up.

A monosexual is only attracted to one gender (eg. homosexuals and heterosexuals). They are the most prominent sexualities, as they are the ones most often portrayed in media. As such, one would think they are secure enough in their validity to be unthreatened. Not so: in her article in the Stanford Law Review, Elizabeth Emens describes why the monosexual community is uncomfortable with the idea of asexuality:

In some ways, though, a closer analogy [for asexuality] than homosexuality is bisexuality. [....] [B]oth bisexuality and asexuality lie outside the cultural norm of “monosexuality” (desiring one sex). Many of the common assumptions about asexuals [...] echo those made about bisexuals. [....] Kenji Yoshino has argued that both gays and straights (that is, monosexuals) have an interest in erasing bisexuality, because of their shared interests in “the stability of sexual orientation categories,” “the primacy of sex as a diacritical axis,” and “the preservation of monogamy” (330-331).

This explains why the monosexual community is, at the very least, slightly uncomfortable with the asexual community. In comparing asexuality and bisexuality, Emers shows how similar the distrust bisexuals and asexuals face are. What strikes some as strange is how bisexuals have an undisputed letter in the acronym LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer), while asexuals have to metaphorically fight allies for the A that comes later. The difference between a secure letter and a disputed one may not seem like much, but for some can be seen as a step towards representation. The reason asexuals do not get that A right off the bat may very well be because of our society’s preoccupation with sex.

Discrimination, though, is another matter altogether. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, discrimination is the practice of unfairly treating a person or group of people different from other people or groups of people. As of now, academics have not investigated anti-asexual discrimination thoroughly, but research has been done. For example, in Chasin’s Making Sense in and Of the Asexual Community, he calls on the 2012 research of MacInnis and Hodson, who found that people were more likely to discriminate against members of “Group X,” who were not interested in sexual contact, than they were to discriminate against other members of the LGBTQ+ community (170). This is probably because they can relate to someone who wants to have sex better than they can to someone who does not want to have sex. Chasin goes on to discuss the root of sexuality-centered discrimination, stating “Furthermore, homophobia, heterosexism, and sexual orientation-focused discrimination are largely based on the social policing of gender (170).” This means that the people who practice discrimination against the LGBT community are less mad about the fact that same sex couples exist than they are about a man acting feminine or a woman acting masculine. He also says that asexual/ace people are most affected by this kind of discrimination because they are less likely to participate in conventional activities based on heterosexual desire, putting emphasis on the sexual part. This means that society links femininity and masculinity to the act or desire for sex, which only further helps in the erasure of and discrimination against asexuals.

Another route discrimination against asexuality takes is in the erasure of the sexuality entirely. Instead of being seen for what they identify as and are comfortable as, many asexuals are read as lesbian, gay, or bisexual by simply not acting like a heterosexual person, regardless of what they are romantically attracted to. This results in not only asexuals being erased, but being discriminated against for something the person does not identify as. Chasin attributes this to being asexual in a heteronormative context in which there is simply no space for asexuality, which is extremely problematic.

As it was previously stated, the most discrimination towards asexuals as asexuals comes from online communities where asexuality is most visible, especially on sites like Tumblr. Tumblr is rather infamous for being very open about sex, and, as such, there are many users who are more open about their sexualities than they would be in their day to day lives. With this openness, however, comes discrimination, because the more vocal a group is, it seems, the more vocal their oppressors. Asexuals who are romantically attracted to members of the opposite sex, or heteroromantic aces, are most commonly attacked by some members of the LGBTQ+ community on Tumblr. The following are word-for-word text posts, aside from the censoring of offensive language and the removal of urls to preserve the original posters’ identities, written by members of the LGBTQ+ community that were found in the “ace” (a shortened form of the word asexual) tag on Tumblr.

tumblr user 1: do NOT come out as ace or aro or any  mogai identity on coming out day. don’t come out as straight don’t come out as an ally don’t f**king taking this away from lgbt+ people. coming out isn’t for you, it’s for lgbt+ people, not straights, not aces and not aros,

obviously this doesn’t f**king include lgbt aces or aros but even then don’t f**king come out as ace or aro it’s not what the day is for

#ace discourse

tumblr user 2: you’re right, heteroromantic aces don’t have straight passing privilege-they have straight privilege. because they’re straight.

#ace discourse

This isn’t to say that the entirety of the Tumblr community is hostile towards asexuals, heteroromantic or otherwise. For every anti-aseuxal post, there are two pro-asexual posts. Many asexual individuals use Tumblr as a platform to meet and talk to other asexuals when they are unable to find a community in person, which is hard to do with the low percentage of self-identifying asexuals in the world today. However, because of the way Tumblr’s tagging and search systems work, asexuals and those who are trying to find out if they identify with the label often find these mean, degrading, and invalidating comments, making them become distressed or confused. Most of the anti-asexual posts are similar to the above, claiming that those who identify as heteroromantic asexuals (and, to an extent, non-heteroromantic asexuals) have no place in the LGBTQ+ community because, ironically enough, they are not discriminated against or oppressed.

Jumping back to Emens’s article about asexuality and law, we can find a few examples of how some asexuals could feel discriminated against in the context of the law. She writes, “[...] [N]otable is the fact that many states make impotence a ground for annulment, whereas infertility is not an independent ground for annulment in any state [...], perhaps suggesting that sex per se matters more to marriage than reproduction” (350-351). This could be concerning for any romantically-inclined asexual who is not comfortable with sex, as Emens goes on to discuss how spouses can take advantage of this annulment law out of spite or to save money in a divorce, even if the asexual partner was open with their sexuality. Possibly because of this, there are many accounts of asexuals who have been pressured into having sex with a partner to keep them happy. The law also falls against asexuals in same sex domestic partnerships, as they have stricter requirements in order to be seen as valid. “By contrast, domestic partnership regimes often impose requirements such as cohabitation, shared finances, and monogamy. Some even require sexual consummation” (353). In her post Politics of Asexuality: Issues Faced by the Asexual Community, Stormy O’Brink from the website Matthew’s Place expands on this, saying:

People seeking to sponsor their immigrating spouse are sometimes asked personal questions about their sex life. These questions assume that sex makes a relationship legitimate, and this could potentially lead to issues if an asexual couple is at the center of an immigration fraud investigation. Asexuals aren’t just considered less human--their relationships and expressions of love are also viewed as illegitimate.

In some cases, asexuals can even be discriminated against by religious leaders. According to O’Brink, “Some spiritual leaders claim asexuality is against certain religious texts. For example, Genesis 9:7 is interpreted as a command to procreate. Religious leaders believe asexuals are actively defying this aspect of the bible.” They includes a link to a forum sponsored by a Baptist church, in which Pim Penderson, a man with a PhD in Theophysics, an area that attempts to reconcile physical and religious cosmology, likens asexuals to homosexuals and says “Asexuality is unnatural, for even the unsaved have the decency and the desire to marry and have children.” There are several more upsetting posts in this forum thread, each more discriminatory than the last, and many are also sexist, racist, and xenophobic. Even so, this is a religious forum, and many asexuals are also religious. If the distaste represented in this forum represents even a fraction of what a young asexual might have to face in church, it paints a frightening picture.

Sexual harassment is also a fear of asexual individuals. Many asexuals have received threats of “corrective rape” intended to make them straight. Going back to the Baptist forum, Lukas Ekman, who has proposed a Christian Commission on Human Rights (or CCHR) claims that asexuality is linked to devil worship, and “[The] CCHR suggests corrective rape to remedy the [devil’s] possession.” This is a disturbing reality for many asexuals; Eric Morales explores this in his article ‘I don’t need to be raped’ an Asexual activist speaks out by bringing up asexual activist Julie Decker, who uploads videos about her experience with asexuality on YouTube and has seen several comments saying she just “needs a good raping”:

“When people hear you’re asexual, some take that as a challenge,” she told the Huffington Post. “We are perceived as not being fully human because sexual attraction and sexual relationships are seen as something alive, healthy people do. They think that you really want sex but just don’t know it yet. For people who perform corrective rape, they believe that they’re just waking us up and that we’ll thank them later. [....] I’m not damaged, lonely, or in need of conversion because I’m not interested in sex. I want people who feel similarly to know they’re not alone,” Decker says.

Sadly, this is a reality for many asexuals. In a poll on the AVEN website, twenty-six individuals spanning different genders admit to having been sexually assaulted because of their asexuality. While this is a vast minority, this is simply one poll on one website where you have to be registered to participate. A quick Google search is all it takes to find a plethora of survivor stories about the horrors of corrective rape. I won’t go into them here because of the triggering nature of such stories, but they exist, and they shed an awful light

Now that it seems evident that there is at least some discrimination against the asexual community, the question now becomes, how do we combat discrimination against the asexual community? One step has already been taken: New York’s Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act has included asexuality as a sexual orientation, which is, objectively, huge. This means asexuals cannot be discriminated against in terms of the law. Whether that does much good is up for debate, but the fact that asexuality is explicitly included opens up some discussions. Another step that would be good would be more exposure. By creating asexual characters in popular media like television, movies, and books, creators can open new dialogues about asexuality as well as help individuals who are questioning by providing more options readily available to compare themselves to. Rarely is representation a bad thing, after all. In short, while those who identify as asexual do not face the same kind of discrimination as other parts of the LGBTQ+ community, they face their own kind of discrimination, and this can be alleviated through proper representation and open dialogue about sexuality.

Works Cited Page

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Cerankowski, Karli June, Megan Milks. “New Orientations: Asexuality and Its Implications for Theory and Practice.” Feminist Studies. 30.0. Academic Search Complete. (2010): 650-664. Web. 19 October 2016.

"Discrimination." Def. 1. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, 2004. Print.

Deluzio Chasin, C.J. “Making Sense in and of the Asexual Community: Navigating Relationships and Identities in a Context of Resistance.” Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology 25.2. Academic Search Complete. (2015): 167-180. Web. 19 October 2016.

Ekman, Lukas and Pim Penderson. “God Hates Asexuals.” Straight 4 Jesus (Back Door Christians). Landover Baptist Church. 5 October 2013. Web. 28 November 2016.

Emens, Elizabeth. “Compulsory Sexuality.” Stanford Law Review 66.2. Academic Search Complete. (Feb. 2014): 303-386. Web. 19 October 2016.

Hinderliter, Andrew. “How is asexuality different from hypoactive sexual desire disorder?” Psychology and Sexuality. 4.2. Academic Search Complete. (May 2013): 167-178. Web. 19 October 2016

MacNeela, Pádraig, Aisling Murphy. “Freedom, Invisibility, and Community: A Qualitative Study of Self-Identification with Asexuality.” Archives of Sexual Behavior. 44.3. Academic Search Complete. (Apr. 2015): 799-812. Web. 19 October 2016.

Morales, Eric. “‘I don’t need to be raped’ an Asexual activist speaks out” Digital Journal. 23 October 2013. Web. 28 November 2016.

O’Brink, Stormy. “Politics of Asexuality: Issues Faced By The Asexual Community.” Matthew’s Place. 30 October 2014. Web. 28 November 2016.

"The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | Asexuality.org." The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | Asexuality.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Nov. 2016.