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ouchthathurts · 1 year ago

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❝ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬. ❞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐬) ⋮ Haibara Yu x GN! Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⋮ 4.8k

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⋮ After you and Haibara meet at an airport the two of you find comfort in food and each other.

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 ⋮ It’s canon that Haibara is into people who eat a lot.

You were at the airport, having finally gotten off of your flight you decided to find any place around the area that had food that you had desired to eat after it being so long since you had actual food you enjoyed, whether burgers or desserts or even just rice. You walked around the airport, looking around at all the food places until your nose had picked the familiar smell of a food place you used to go to when you were young.

To say you rushed was an understatement as you found yourself immediately lined up at the place, you were struggling to stop your excitement as you clenched your wallet with your eyes slowly tracing the menu like you were about to make sweet love to it.

You hadn’t held back when you were called, all those foods you missed out for since you were 8 had been ticking away at your sanity thus you picked almost everything on the menu, from new items to old and from the meals to the desserts. You remember the pricing, it wouldn’t even dent your wallet, thus you handed over your cash with the largest smile on your face.

Eating all of it was something you had no problem in, however, what you didn’t expect was some of your classmates being there. “[L/N]!” You raised a brow at this before straightening up and trying to hide all the food you had gotten, failure to do so could result in your family finding out about your break from their extreme diet thus docking your allowance, you had no real time either before you were met by Haibara Yu and Nanami Kento.

You remember them from your class since your elders held you in such a disappointed regard in being a Grade 2 Sorcerer. You buried your head in shame once you were selected by Jujutsu High and became a Grade 2 sorcerer, your elders wanted you to be better thus working you to the bone was the only way you had any chance of appeasing them, there was something you enjoyed that came out of this, however.

Since you moved out into the on-campus dorms and your elders had the money you were given a very extensive allowance thus resulted in you keeping a lot of that money to the food you found brought you joy. You were scared that these two might tell someone else about your eating habits. “Wow! That’s a lot of food, [L/N]!” The brunette chirped whilst the blond just nodded before they took a seat with you, you didn’t know what to say before Kento spoke up.

“You usually don’t eat like this on campus.” Yu nodded eagerly at that, “Exactly! You always have those intricate lunches with all those smart foods, y’know?” You found yourself wondering about what to say, yet you definitely found yourself a peeved by such a call out on your eating habits. “I just don’t get to eat like this thanks to the elders.” Yu raised a brow before Kento nodded, “The [L/N] Clan, right? They care much for appearance.” You groaned in response to this, “Yeah. Ever since I had to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer I got stuck on this strict diet.”

You remembered the bright and blurry years of your youth, short lived since you were snatched up to be prepped to become a jujutsu sorcerer, however, there was always something to keep you and the boy in a normalcy was the act opening up your lunch box to see what was held inside. You found yourself overjoyed by the lunch, no matter how simplistic or how childish, every dish you ate was one you ate earnestly with love in every bite and appreciation at every taste.

“Well,” Yu looked over at you, a large smile that creased his eyes to closure, “You don’t need to worry about us! This’ll be our secret.” The young man then pretends to zip his lips whilst his friend did the same, you jokingly joined in before questioning their whereabouts, “Where are you guys heading off to anyways?” Yu eagerly shouted about the plans, amped and excited whilst Kento was one to feel very different by such call, “It truly isn’t a fit mission if two strongest can’t handle it.” You agreed with such.

“And first years at that, I mean, we’ve just started and to give us such missions seems a bit dehumanizing like lambs to the slaughter.” You found that your life lacked any sort of simplicity, you craved the structure that you once had before the elders in your family forced you to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer, you were so young and being torn through by those higher than you that would call for your small head on a chopping block if you decided to stay with your closed loved ones in the beauty that was a life fit for your childhood.

You were bitter by the reality.

Yu was a bit conflicted on your thinking, nonetheless, he found positives in it. “It doesn’t have to be dehumanizing.” You raised a brow whilst you continued to eat your food, you held an open year as you listened earnestly to your classmate, “We’re doing things to help society that only we can do. Isn't that what matters most? Helping those weaker than us.” You found yourself seeing the light in Yu’s words, you held his words dear as they had similarity to those who you held in high regard, you still disagreed, however.

“Depending on children to help the weak means the weak are helping the weak.” You explained, you tied your leftovers up for later and collected the trash you were about to throw away, “If we were actually helping the weak then the higher ups would take on more missions than the children that they’re throwing into the warfare for the fact they can’t control their abilities.” Kento listened to you, the release of his eyebrows to allow them to find care in your words whilst you continued on, “You’re either killed for not wanting to be a sorcerer or you’re killed for being a sorcerer.”

You found your heart hurt by such memories of your childhood, the feeling of someone so bright was one unfamiliar to you and Kento seemed like the only other one who understood that “There is nothing more heartless than asking a child do you want to know how you’re going to die, or do you want to know when you’re going to do die?”

Yu watched your expression with all attention on your eyes, they were dull when talking about the reality of being a part of something so barbaric as described by you, “Even if I’m only here because of my ability, I am glad to help those who don’t have the ability as I do, and even if I am too young to know really know the severity of it all. It will all have been for the betterment of it all.” You found your eyes soften at such, it was the first time they had done that other than when you took a bite of food, “We are still too young for this mission.”

You and Yu’s attention was toward the blond before the brown-haired boy cheered, “Our upperclassmen are wearing themselves out for a young girl! We have to give it our all, Kento!” You couldn’t but notice the unwavering light that was Haibara Yu, unchanging and consistently keeping the true beauty of this world regardless of all the bleakness that had tainted yours, you admired it.

You put the bag on your arm with it sliding down to your elbow, you thought for a moment then some before Kento acknowledged your position, “You nodded at this before getting ready to leave, “Well it was seeing you both. Have a safe mission.” You gave them a warm smile, Kento nodded, and Yu waved eagerly at you when you walked away from the two, however, there was something Yu wanted to ask you which his friend of course noticed. “Well?” The blond turned to the young man next to him, “You know me too well, Kento.” The brunette whined as the two made their way over to their waiting area.

Yu knew exactly what he was feeling, ever since that talk with how your face switched from a child snatched from the wonder to one that had experienced the grace of all things when biting into simple foods, he would often watch you as you got you ate the food off campus and how happy these foods brought you. The time you would leave Jujutsu High just to go to convenience stores and stock up the fridge you had in your dorm just dedicated to you.

Yu oftentimes saw you walk by the group, you paid no attention as the only thing really on your mind was vending machine, they were near, and he’d pay attention to what you got, the specific drinks or the lunch the school had to offer. Yu dedicated himself to asking you a simple question and with that would lead him down the hole of just wanting to see you genuinely smile.

Your coping mechanism for it all was simple, if you began to grow restless or emotionally exhausted or even just because you wanted to, you would splurge on food and the smile that painted your face was one that allowed Yu to feel at peace with such a heartwarming grin on your face that finally allowed you to leave such a cynical way of thinking and allow you to be happy.

Whenever you were on Yu's mind the image of your smile lingers like a gentle whisper, a reminder of a time when the world seemed painted in hues of possibility that even in such a world of pessimism there would be something to bring you joy. It was a chance encounter that made him want to be around you more, and his determination to make sure he does his hardest to make sure he can make you smile.

Yu had begun to make small conversation with you, since you were more reclusive it was a bit hard for him, nonetheless he still made sure to get know as much about you as he could by including you in conversations when you were nearby and always acknowledging you. You two even exchanged numbers one day, you two were on a mission and decided to split up thus the two of you stayed on the phone while apart from another, he would start to text you using kaomojis every morning and anytime you left for a mission to wish you luck.

This would allow Yu to gain more confidence so he would make sure he could ask you just one question, he had called you outside from the classroom door and while you were confused you still decided to get up and make your way over to him, “Yes, Haibara?” Your voice was calm like the stillness of an untouched lake, the young man was a bit intimidated yet, he still asked you this question.

“I was wondering if I could treat you to lunch!” You looked at him, a raised brow and a tilt of your head by such an invitation, you thought about how the first and only time you and Yu had talked was when you told them your views on being a Jujutsu Sorcerer. “Oh?” The silence was evident between the two of you, you wondered why Yu was asking such question, “Oh.” Yu was asking to hang out, most likely he wanted you to join him and Nanami, but he took the initiative to come and ask you to eat with him, you didn’t know Yu meant thus you agreed.

“Sure, Haibara.” You answered, the young man wanted to fly to the moon until you uttered your next words, “I should be the one spending though, I hear a lot about your money problems from Nanami so I would rather pay for your food instead especially if Nanami is coming as well.” Yu raised a brow at this before he spoke up, putting his hands up defensively as he then fully explained his plans to you, “No. I would much rather see you happy on my dime rather than yours.” You then watched as he got flustered, the pinkness of his fair cheeks whilst he continued to smile at you, “I wanna cook for you!”

“Oh.”

A long pause was the only thing you could offer before you choked out your next words, “Cook for me?” You pointed to yourself, questioning what in the world he could be talking about with such a thing, the determined look never feels from Yu’s face as he had this large smile on his face. “You like eating, right? I could make our favorite meals and we can eat it together during lunch tomorrow?” Your eyes widened at such proposal, you felt your own face heat up at such as the offer arrived like a gentle breeze, carrying with it a sense of disbelief and wonder.

You felt a tremor of vulnerability in that moment, someone wanting to cook for you just because they knew it made you happy, it was a sweet gesture that left you befuddled as you thought for a moment. “Would you let me cook for you?” To ask to cook for you? You wanted to melt into a puddle at his warmness, you were standing next to the sun and the beam of his smile with those eyes that could light up a dim room made your heart swell.

“Of course, Haibara.” You smiled at the boy, your eyes creased with joy as you felt this large smile pull at your lips, “I’d like that a lot.” Yu’s act wasn't just about romantic feelings; it was a declaration that they saw you in a light you hadn't seen shined on you since you were a child. The revelation that someone could perceive you as more than just a cynic after such words was as surprising as it was heartwarming.

Once you and Yu found an area where he wanted to eat with you, somewhere there wasn’t too much traffic yet an area to admire you whilst he watched you eat, once you took you the lid off and uncovered the casing of the food you loved so dear be prepped with such an attention to your feelings caused a puncture in your chest that almost made you fall over.

“Make sure you eat up!” You directed your eyes over to the young man, the shine in his eyes that trampled over the sun above you, “I know you have a mission soon, so I made seconds I could bring you before you head over there.” You found yourself looking down at the food through your lashes, your eyes felt strained as you thought about those memories from once before, you looked down at the food finding comfort in its appearance as it reminded you of earlier times.

You watched as the food that was once made with love, adoration, and compassion with the hopes your closed loved ones who had tried their best shield you from such a hardening world would help you find such feelings in the box that was neatly put together just for you to enjoy. That food would be replaced by the meals that were made to give you muscle, concentration, and focus. No love was held in such foods as their purpose was only to fuel your body into becoming a weapon for the jujutsu sorcerers.

This gesture carried the recognition that your happiness could be kindled by something as simple as meal. As you began to dig into your food, a wave of realization washed over you- Yu had been paying attention all along, observing the subtle shifts in your demeanor when you indulged in the simple pleasure of a good meal.

You couldn’t help but eat the food with so much of your heart bursting at the taste, you could feel the tears welling in your eyes with how the food had made you feel so comforted in your lowest moments, Yu’s want to cook for you left you feeling so happy with a warmness bubbling inside you.

Yu watched as you ate as it was an embodiment of his wish to nurture the side of you that had been overshadowed by skepticism of what this world could truly offer you. In their newfound revelation and their intention to cook for you, they found a mirror reflecting back the potential for change and growth.

The way you ate slowly to savor each bite and the way a tear rolled down your cheek was on that made Yu a bit confused as he hadn’t cooked for himself in a while and doubted his own skills, it was a realization that hit Yu like a ton of bricks, the look in your face that revealed this side of you that Yu wanted to protect forever.

“Thank you, Haibara.” You swooned, your tone unknowingly made Yu’s cheeks flush, “It’s no problem! To know my cooking made you happy is all I could ever want.” The way your face had grown hot after such made you smile even more as you continued to eat, Yu would join shortly after as he enjoyed eating with you, the admiration the two of you shared for one another in that moment held true for the rest of the time you two had.

In the months that followed, his cooking became a source of comfort and connection. With each shared meal, he nurtured not just your taste buds, but a sense of belonging that had eluded you for so long. Yu’s genuine yearn for your happiness that built up inside of him had soon blossomed into the desire to be with you more. These feelings you both harbored for one another went beyond the food itself; it was woven into the very fabric of your actions.

The way he crafted dishes that were tailored to your preferences with each bite infused with his love that only grew greater and greater the more the two of you had grown around each other. Haibara Yu's relentless determination to see you smile created a profound shift within you. It wasn't just about the food anymore; it was about the friendship that bloomed between the two of you. The young man’s presence became a safe haven, a space where you could shed the armor and embrace vulnerability without fear of judgment.

With every meal and time spent, the world was one you saw through Yu’s with the hope that the two of you could see the beauty in everything with each others presence by one another’s side, you recognize the world that had been obscured by your own skepticism.

As time passed, Yu's intentions became increasingly clear – he wasn't just here as someone who wanted to cook you food; he was there to see you at your happiest with a desire to be with you in a way that was closely intertwined the two of you. Yu cherished the memory of that first smile, the one that made him want to see that smile every day, and with time that smile prevailed even without food with just the sound of his voice and the knowing of his footsteps.

In the presence of Haibara Yu, you found not only a reason to smile but a reason to embrace life with renewed fervor. The ability to remember the significance of that initial smile was a testament to his attentiveness and his unspoken promise to continue cultivating happiness through his existence alone.

In the realm of improbable beginnings, a single shared meal served as the catalyst for a love that defied all logic that came to mind. You were willing to throw everything, you would cry out to those above you to change everything and find a way out of the life you were forced into and instead live a normal life with one you were sure deserved better than all the endings you both could be met with.

You knew that you couldn’t fight it, there was no reason to fight it anyways, to run away from being a Jujutsu Sorcerer was punishable by death thus you would happily take your life to live your happiest days with one who brought you the happiness and joy to finally be around them in a bliss of normalcy without any way of hurting getting towards the young man you wanted to make sure that you could do what you needed to guarantee yours and his safety.

It was an ordinary encounter, yet it cast a spell that bound you to him. You two met in the place you both always ate your lunches, you asked him to meet you there before he left for his mission, an anniversary of a friendship as it had been an official year since you two first shared your meal together.

“I don't think we should be here anymore.”

The love you held for Haibara Yu wasn't a fleeting infatuation, but a steadfast devotion that had held many trials and tribulations with your plans. It wasn't solely based on the food, or the shared laughter, or the long stares; rather, it was a foundation built on mutual understanding of one another, the beauty of this world that you could not see before him, and intimate emotions that transcended words.

And yet, the humor lay in the very attributes that fortified our connection - these same emotions held the power to destabilize the missions as you watched Yu throw himself in front of you, to ruin all chances of a future once announced of your arranged marriage for the sake of your clan, and the fact you could not escape the feeling of all being taken from you in that moment.

“Where should we go then?” Yu raised a brow, the feeling of confused excitement laced his words as you spoke, “Anywhere. Just us living normal lives, y’know?” The young man found himself still confused on what you were saying, “Even if it takes forever, I want you to just live a normal life one day.”

Your lives entwined in unexpected ways, drawn together by a shared purpose of giving your lives for society and an unspoken understanding that both of you couldn’t even began to comprehend about one another. With each passing mission, the two of you had grown closer, it wasn’t fueled by the shared victories or moments of vulnerability. It was the fact you wanted to do everything in your power to make sure you wouldn’t lose him.

“You could finally leave this inhospitable place and be happy in normalcy.” You told the boy, he said your name with a bit of embarrassment by such an inference, “It doesn’t have to be you sacrificing your life for everything when we can be normal for the rest of our lives.” Yu’s tone of confusion, less excitement as he was trying to grasp what you were trying to say, he muttered your name once more in dismay.

The realization that the emotions you two harbored would become a double-edged sword.

“Our duty is to protect those who cannot do what we do.” Yu explained to you, you found your eyes faltering a bit, you watched as Yu’s expression was aggrieved that deprived you of the look that was once bathed you in joy. “I know that you don’t want me to go on these missions, but I need you to understand there is nothing that will prevent that.”

You felt your heart crumble at such a sentence, “I will give my all to something I can actually do. I will not rest until my mission is complete.” Tears rolled down your cheeks, each one a testament to the unwavering affection that had leaked from the inability to keep such emotions under wraps. You spoke against your better judgment, “Forget the mission.” The young man’s voice got louder, feeling confusion and frustration as he found his voice, “I have a duty-” Your head snapped to look at him in the eyes, “Forget your duty!”

Yu looked at you in disbelief by your words, you found your cheeks wet by such an outburst with your chest heaving at such a mention of giving his all, the weight of your unspoken feelings grew heavier, causing your heart to ache in silence. The ache wasn't solely from your inability to confess; it was exacerbated by the knowledge that his heart was different from yours and is too aching with the same unuttered truths. You both stood at the precipice of a love that defied the circumstances that bound the two of you to the reality of your existence.

Fear held you both captive, chained to the knowledge that wanting what is best for one another. Yu wanted a life with you, and you shared in this hopeful future. Watching Yu from a distance with tears in your eyes whilst your heart ached with a silent agony. The sound of his voice slowly becoming a bittersweet symphony that echoed through your mind, a constant reminder of the love you couldn't profess.

‘What would even be the point?’

You could tell him you loved him just to keep him there, he would do anything to make sure you’re happy. In your heart you knew how terrible that would be to make him stop what he has his heart sent on for the selfishness to keep him here with you for even longer than it had to be.

In your mind, the fact that Yu didn’t want to leave this awful place with you already gave you the lenses to see the future that was never there in the first place. The pain of unexpressed feelings intensified, manifesting as a gnawing depression that cast a shadow over even the brightest moments. The intricacies of the relationship you two shared kept us close yet distant, fostering a maddening duality of connection and detachment.

You would envision yourself uttering the words you longed to say, with a hope of a result in watching his eyes light up with the realization that both hearts share the harmony.

The reality of it always brought you back, to keep him here with you and make sure he stayed with you longer even if it meant jeopardizing everything he ever wanted or to stay silent and let him live the life he wants to live with him sacrificing it all just to make sure those who can’t do such will be okay.

You remained a silent, caught in a perpetual loop of love and longing, loyalty and restraint. The boy who held your heart, unknowingly gripping it so hard it would pop, he continued to occupy your thoughts and dreams, a beacon of light amidst the darkness of the chosen path.

You cannot come back from this moment.

“I’m sorry for invalidating your views, Yu.”

You wipe the tears from your face and give him a large smile, he looked at you in disbelief for a moment before you gave him such a toothy smile, “It’s selfish for me to believe in such a thing as running away from our destiny.” You sighed, your throat rasped from your tears and the words that held a tight hold on your neck.

You accepted this.

“Fulfill your duty as a strong jujutsu sorcerer.” You told Yu, giving him a warm smile, the same returned to you that let you get enveloped in all the beauty the world had offer to you as you looked into his eyes. In Yu's eyes, he watched as you gave him a smile that made him feel whole. The young man wanted to embrace you, a tight hug to hide his face from the tears about to come out, yet he just smiled at you.

“Thank you, [F/N].”

You both bid farewell to one another you stayed there as he ran off to go prepare for his trip, you smiled before he turned back to look at you, too far to hear anything he pulled out his phone and began to text you.

You found your hands shaky, the feeling of fear palpable before you finally found the phone in your pocket, your eyes are strained against the brightness with no help of anything since the dark clouds shielded the sun from you that day. You looked confused at him, his arm shooting up to wave at you before you heard the noise of the message and ran in the opposite direction, you opened your phone to read the message.

From: Yu Haibara ★ I have something to share with you as soon as I get back! I’ll make your favorite meal and everything! See ya real soon! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Mon Jan 05, 2007

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