#otp: some divine prank

[thesimonthedevious]

21. For Murderella for the Soft OTP Prompts!

21- Write about your ship showing each other physical affection. 

this turned a lil nsfw so uhh readmore!!! tysm i loved writing this ehhehe. 

They had come back early from the bar before everyone else – unable to stay off each other. Zorya leads him through the eerily quiet Mordhaus, but it’s taking too long, and he pushes her up against the stone wall. His bedroom door is practically miles away at the end of the hallway. His bowtie hangs from his neck - he’s lucky he still has it at all, after Zorya ripped his shirt open in the limo. But it means she can run her hands up through the curly hair on his chest. Her nails dig in just under his neck, as she can’t help herself. She loves touching him.

“The room’s just there, Will,” she giggles as his lips lead down from her neck to her chest. She tries to hold his head back by gripping his curly hair, but there’s so little effort behind it. “Someone might see.”

“You don’t care.”

He’s right, but she thought she might as well try. He falls to his knees before her, and she holds his head, looking down at him, cheeks flushed. He looks up, his large hands holding her hips – his thumbs can almost touch as his fingers spread, and they’re nearly putting pressure on her already throbbing clit. When their eyes meet, he feels his own face go red. “You’re, scho…”

“Hm?” she tilts her head, unable to hear him.

“Perfect.” His eyes trail down from her lips, down her long neck to her prominent collar bones. He stares at the curve of her breasts, barely contained by the tiny green corset top she has, and then her little belly button, and the creases on her hips acting as two neon arrows pointing down to her pussy. Where he can see the hint of her happy trail growing back (he doesn’t mention it, but he loves it) under her skirt, which leaves so little to the imagination with the two giant slits on either side, she might as well be wearing nothing (and he knows she actually is underneath, because she’s sat on his lap for a majority of the night, on his hand, and left a scent that drove him fucking nuts and was why they left in the first place).

His left hand drags down onto her thigh, and thumbs over the healed scars on her skin, appreciative and loving of them. Understanding on a level Zorya wishes he wasn’t – but it also makes her heart beat faster. Chapped lips grace them with a peck, before he leads his lips to her inner thigh, biting down as he shifts the skirt out of his way.

“Will,” he’s parting her legs with his head, wanting to hear her say his name again. To beg for it. Because so few women put in the effort of acting like he turns them on like Zorya – to the level he is comfortable saying that hey, maybe it’s all genuine. So until she decides to reveal that this has all been some big prank, he decides to lap it up – literally – for as long as he can. To show her what he can do, what he wants to do, and to devour the way she says his name, and the attention she gives him while she deigns to give it. She’s his patron saint of indulgence, and he will pray.

Before meeting Zorya, he’d never be able to say that he’s tasted divinity. Now he can boast that his large tongue has pressed against the wetness of Aphrodite’s waves themselves – he has touched and studied godliness so closely he could recognise it in a line up blindfolded.

His head is dragged away from her as she almost screams, her chest heaving as she catches her breath, and he looks at her with a gaping mouth, tongue licking the juices from his lips. “What,” he asks, chin on her hip, his hands going to her behind to wriggle her around in his grip, “Lemme keep goin’,”

Zorya takes his chin and brings him back up to his feet, “In-in your room,” she asks with a smile. She strokes his cheek, and her smile and her blushing makes him grin. “Worships me in private tonight.”

“Yesch ma’am.” he obeys, allowing her to finally move from the wall and lead him down to their temple.

[rottenappleheart]

IT IS FINISHED.

Hey friends. I'm not "back" per se. But I am still alive, and more importantly, I finished KoDB, that ZelGan(Link) novel I have been talking about for literal years. First chapter is up on AO3, and I'll post a new chapter every Friday for the next nine weeks until it's done. I hope you like it. All you ZelGan fans, you Gerudo culture fans, all you who joined me in the beautiful meta discussions about the LoZ lore 2014-2017 - this is for you.

@betterbemeta @corseque @editoress @windcalling @walonvaus @figmentforms @golvio @pocketseizure @winterthur @fencing123 @bearer-of-courage @bearerofwisdom-blog @novellady @robinyourcreator @paintedxdark @ragedaisy @jmindigo @errant-light @ponthion @kashuan @artsykleebreloaded @artsykleeb @saunteredvaguelydownward @vanessarama @tapsters @smolbirbfren @crispy-ghee @lang95 @selahexanimo @greencladprince @thirdstreetcettin @bombshops @mornasol and everyone I forgot or has deactivated since then.

[fabdante]

i'm going to throw zelgan back at you, as well as malink! <3

Thank you for the ask!! 💖💖

Ship It - Zelgan!

What made you ship it?

So like, way back in high school me and my girlfriend accidently made this OC who was basically a young Gan who we shipped Zelda with. Then one day were like ‘wow this is basically Ganondorf’, we started making Zelda AU’s and it escalated from there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I love a tragedy. I love a cosmic love affair. I love a thing where I can inject sun and moon imagery. I also love this aspect of Zelda fandom where the games are sort of a mythos that can be built off of for AU’s and stuff, which allows for a lot of exploration into these two characters. I mean, it’s very much a ship that lives in AU space and it’s ripe with ideas.

There’s just something lovely about this divine tragedy of the two of them, stuck in this cycle between these cosmic forces and the drama and relationships that can be built there as a result. Like, they’re bound together in some way be it a romance or not and I just find that a really compelling dynamic. There’s a lot of interesting stories that can be told there.

Aside from that, I do love a good size/height difference. I love the idea of cultural exchange between them. I love the idea of exploring Zelda and Ganondorf as complex characters. I also like some good old fashioned fantasy politics, which the two play into well. It really offers a lot of room to explore that angle of Hyrule and Gerudo and the Zelda world at large.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don’t want to be mean to anyone or anything asdfghj but the only thing I can think of is that I wish more Twilight Princess style AU’s went more along the lines of ‘Ganondorf closed off the castle thinking this would be easy, but now he’s trapped with Zelda, barer of the Triforce of Wisdom, who is about to start the most grueling, endless, game of mental chess with him that’s ever been played’. 

---

Ship It - Malink!

What made you ship it?

Honestly? I can’t remember where it started asdfghjk I think it was just the idea of them was such a sweet end to OoT Link’s story. I feel like with Lon Lon and with Malon would be the place Link, now stuck with all this trauma he has no idea where to put, where Link would feel most at peace. Now they live in my head rent free.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

It’s just...so sweet. The idea’s so sweet. I just love this idea of this sweet little romance between world weary tired Link with the world on his shoulders, and Malon who will be there with open arms through it all. There’s something just really precious and soft about it. Like a homemade soup or candlelight and blankets. 

I also like how she’s often interpreted as headstrong which I feel plays nicely with a lot of Link interpretations. I like the idea of Link being awkward around her and her finding it endearing and funny. Also I like the idea of him not having to talk much and Malon just fundamentally understanding him (and him understanding her in return just the same)

It also just feels like the ending that Link deserves in a lot of ways, a home with a farm and some animals to care for. A place where things are calm and he can do something good with his hands and have some soup with someone who cares about him. Idk they make me soft. 

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

There should be more Breath of the Wild Malink AU’s. Lon Lon’s ruins are in the game, so I think that’s a good basis for something very sweet and tragic. This probably isn’t an unpopular idea, but Malink isn’t a popular ship so I’m not sure any Malink opinion is popular asdfghjk.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

A hphm character tier list please!! Bonus point if added reasoning/ explanation!

Have a great day :3

I doubt there are any placements on this list that would truly surprise anyone, but let's go through the different rankings. I didn't name them, by the way. Those were the categories that were already offered. I could have renamed or recolored them I suppose, but I didn't wind up doing so. Let's go in ascending order.

"Avada Kedavra." Self explanatory. Three of these characters are absolutely evil and irredeemable pieces of trash. And then there's Lockhart. He's just here because he pisses me off. Granted, so does Rita Skeeter, but she doesn't ruin an entire dating quest. At least when she shows up, it's because it's a quest about her. Fenrir Greyback purposefully infects children and describes them as "delicious" so...yeah. I'd put him even lower if I could. Albus Dumbledore's placement is also not a surprise if you know me. I hate him with all of my hate. Patricia Rakepick is also here and I doubt I need to explain why.

"Send to Azkaban." They don't bother me as much as "Avada Kedavra" but I am still not a fan. The Volde-clown Boggart is personally annoying in presentation but also as a plot device. For Peeves, there is the Prank storyline of Year 5. Enough said. The Weird Sisters creep me out, Filch and Mundugus are generally annoying, I discussed Rita, and the Dementor literally calls Azkaban home. That leaves Wormtail. I don't passionately hate him but he's not exactly a good person either.

"Kinda Sus" This is where I placed all of the characters who I, for whatever reason, do not trust or otherwise find shady, the ones who give me a bad feeling. This doesn't have to be plot related either, for cases like Ethan Parkin or Madam Hooch, it might just mean that their behavior is sometimes questionable. Of course, this is also something of a joke, like putting the Red Cloak on the list. For someone like Moody, it's more obvious - everyone knows I don't trust him. Characters like Bilton and Madam Villanelle are technically on our side, but they could be spies. If a character is a known villain, but their agenda and the depth of their evil is unclear, like The Dark Witch and the White-Robed Wizard, they also go here. Jacob and MC being placed here is somewhat of a joke, but it's also somewhat meta. Jacob is like Moody, his intentions are still unclear to me. And the game keeps teasing the idea that MC may fall to the Dark Side.

"Do you even go here?" Wow, do you ever stop to notice how many characters HPHM actually has? And this tier list included all of them, even the ones I would never have thought of. I literally just used this category to place all of the characters who do not technically attend Hogwarts school, though in a few of those cases like Aurelie, it definitely came off as more amusing. Additionally, I used this ranking for all of the characters who could be considered forgettable. Either by the fandom or the game itself, such as the prefects and poor Elora Dunn. Look, if the tier list has to actually list their name in the picture so that I can remember who they are, maybe they don't need to make the list, that's all I'm saying.

"Don't care." Mostly interchangeable with "Do you even go here." Again, the cast is so huge, that I'm not going to go through every character that I placed here. These past two rankings can mostly act as a summation for the majority of the characters for whom I don't particularly like or dislike. Emily Tyler hasn't returned or been developed as an antagonist in a while, so I don't care. Trelawney giving another prophecy is boring and conflicts with canon, so I don't care. Cedric Diggory is one of the most in-your-face examples of fanservice I've ever seen, so I don't care. But again, not all of these are negative. I think the Red Cap is funny, even if his storyline is brief. I love seeing Dobby, Arthur and Molly. I always love seeing them. I could go on.

"Ok." For the characters who, when I look at them, my immediate reaction is a generally positive one. I could probably get interested in a fanwork about these guys. For many of them, there is great potential to be explored but it just hasn't happened very much. Diego would not have been this high a year ago, but he's been fleshed out. Characters like Andre, Duncan, and Tonks...whenever they're in the spotlight and get genuine development, I'm interested. It just happens so rarely. The same goes for the Weasley boys, for Badeea. Other characters go here because I personally like them, even if they aren't that relevant. People like Aberforth and Percy. But two people can wind up here despite being very different and my having completely separate feelings about both of them, like Alanza and Ben.

"Like." Everyone that I would probably write a fanwork about someday, if I could actually motivate myself to finish my current WIP. Talbott, Chiara, and Jae are genuinely interesting and compelling. They might not make my top five, but they would make my top ten. I will always love Flitwick and what HPHM has done for him, I don't even care. Keep in mind, this doesn't mean I condone everything that the character has done...Ismelda has a lot to answer for, but it doesn't mean she's not interesting. And Penny can be very interesting too, but usually only when she's put under intense stress. As heartless as it is to say. You may also be surprised to see Myrtle here, but similar to Flitwick, I just love what this game did with her. Some of these could rise or drop a ranking pretty easily too. Like in hindsight, maybe I should have switched Duncan and Myrtle. It's not a big deal either way, I guess.

"Must be protected at all costs." Self explanatory. For the most part, these are all my favorite characters in the game, and the ones who I would lay down on railroad tracks for. Another character who climbed higher over time is Skye. If it wasn't for how much people message me about her, I may not have gotten quite as invested. My love for Orion is well documented, Rowan is the reason I started playing this game, Beatrice was the breakout character of Year 6, and Tulip x Merula is my OTP for this game. I could gush about any one of these kids for six paragraphs but the bottom line is that they are my favorite characters. It is at this point that we have entered "top five" territory.

"GOD TIER ~ ALWAYS" Characters who reign supreme and are factually flawless. It's not surprising to see characters like Dennis and Fang up here because critters are, generally speaking, leagues above humans simply by default. We can also see her majesty Queen Bean ruling from the sky, guarded by her champion, the arbiter known as Erika Rath. You are entitled to your wrong opinion if you fail to see the divinity of these characters.

[richardwrights]

@divine-and-decaying Ruster this is so fucking long oh my G o d

1. What Are You Wearing? Uh a white shirt and some old ass red gym shorts from like over ten years ago lmaoooo (I sleeps in them so that’s why)

2. Ever been in love? Too many times

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Too many times

4. How tall are you? 5'6″

5. How much do you weigh? Like 130# or something I don’t really keep track of it

6. Any tattoos you want? Yeah I want the CA Cliff House somewhere on my body and I want to redo my Umbreon and I want a horse tat and I want the Dark Side prism going around my left bicep and I want something on my ankle

7. Any piercings you want? I’ve pretty much gotten all the ones I want but I still think about repiercing my tongue sometimes cause I kind of miss it

8. OTP? That One Pairing and BJ/Hawkeye somewhat but idk I’m not really into that as much anymore

9. Favorite show(s)? MASH ofc and at the moment Arrow

10. Favorite Band? Gosh I just really don’t know it’s a complete mystery isn’t it

11. Something you miss? Being able to go through life without Worrying. About every fucking thing. And being in my room and listening to music and learning new things about this new band that I just got into called Pink Floyd and learning how to write because I wanted to read more stories about them. Simpler times :[

12. Favorite song(s)? Always Sorrow by PF, currently Wildfire Part II by Sonata Arctica

13. How old are you?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Guess

14. Zodiac sign? Aquarius like Nicholas Mason~

15. Hair color? Naturally dark brown but currently black with blue streaks

16. Favorite quote? “I find it’s better not to say anything at all than to say something ridiculous.” I will not tell you where that’s from and you can try to search it but you won’t find it~

17. Favorite singer? Tony Kakko atm

18. Favorite color? Bloo

19. Loud music or soft music? Depends on the mood. I listened to Pink Floyd for the better part of ten years but then started listening to metal so???? Explain that

20. Where do you go when youre sad? Night nights in my bed bed

21. How long does it take you to shower? Depends if I’m shaving, I can do it in ten but it’s usually around 20-25 minutes. The fastest I ever showered in my life was about five minutes

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Depends on what time I go in to work but a typical day is about 10-15 minutes

23. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Hm not a serious one that mattered

24. Turn on(s)? Long hair, beards, piercings/tats in moderation which is an entirely subjective word, eyeliner

25. Turn off(s)? Being carelessly messy, selfishness, basically any of my last ex’s traits lmaooo fuck him

26. The reason i joined tumblr? To find more [redacted] to read lmaoooo

27. Fears? Creepy crawlies, humiliation, heights that don’t have any reassurance that I won’t Die

28. Last thing that made you cry? I don’t remember tbh, probably Richard Day?

29. last time you cried? It’s been a few months I think, if not then it was July 18th of this year

30. The meaning behind your url? IT’S DICK BOY BABEYYYY

31. Last book you read? I started Flowers in the Attic but I didn’t get more than a few pages in tbh

32. Last song you listened to? Storm the Sorrow by Epica

33. Last show you watched? Legend of Korra

34. Last person you talked to? In person was my dad, in general it’s the folks in the PF Discord server

35. Your relationship to the person you last texted? My fren Leah

36. Favorite food? CHEESE

37. Place you want to visit? Cambridge, England

38. Last place you were? Norfolk

39. Do you have a crush? Nah

40. Last time you kissed someone? About a year ago

41. When's the last time you were insulted and what was it? The details are still a little unclear but apparently one of my “friends” said it was surprising that I hadn’t killed myself yet because I’m so weird so that was fun. Kind of hurt but like that’s a weird fucking insult so it didn’t really bother me much LMAO

42. What color underwear are you wearing? It green

43. What color shirt are you wearing? See first question

44. What color bottoms are you wearing? See first question AGAIN

45. Wearing any bracelets? A beaded one that Leah made for me that says Rickums Dickums :33333

46. Last sport you played? Softball

47. Last song you sang? See question 32

48. Last prank call you remember making? I don’t think I ever have

49. Last time you hung out with someone? With Leah and her bf yesterday

50. Favorite movie(s)? Pink Floyd Live at Pompeii lmaooo but idk I don’t really have a favorite I guess, it’s more like several that I could watch an infinite number of times and never get tired of them. Ghibli movies come to mind right at the moment

I’m not tagging anybody because this is mega hefty and I won’t do that to you all UNLESS you truly desire to, then by all means have at it. Tag me if you do end up doing it tho~

[iggy-theeskimo]

Thanks for the tag sweetie @he4rtofsteel💖✨

1. What are you wearing? Jeans that look like grandpa's jeans, a colorful crop top with a lilac knit sweater.

2. Ever been in love? Of course, Grace Slick, Brian Jones, David Gilmour, Syd Barrett, Nick Mason, David Bowie.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Yup.

4. How tall are you? 1,60cm (I don't know how much it would be in feet and inches, sorry)

5. How much do you weigh? Around 56kg.

6. Any tattoos you want? I would like it but I would have to think of a tattoo that I want too much, because I am very indecisive and it may be that after a while that tattoo does not mean anything to me, but I would like to tattoo an octopus on my left arm (like John Frusciante's, don't ask why).

7. Any piercings you want? For now, nah. Not my favorite thing.

8. OTP? A what? I'm🤡

9. Favourite show(s)? I don't watch a lot TV but I like That 70's Show, Seindfeld, The Office, Game of Thrones and a lot of varied documentaries.

10. Favourite band? My favorite bands always vary actually, but the one that I consider my favorite forever is Pink Floyd (I think it was obvious)

11. Something you miss? I miss being able to go to the outskirts of the city for a while, being among the mountains and putting my feet in the river, I hope I can do it again soon.

12. Favourite song(s)? Well, there are many but the ones I have been listening to often for now are: Wild World by Cat Stevens, My Sweet Lord by George Harrison, Always See Your Face by Love, See-Saw by Pink Floyd and I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James.

13. How old are you? I turn 16 in a few days :)

14. Zodiac Sign? Virgo like Freddy Mercury and Roger Waters.

15. Hair Colour? Dark blonde but not so dark

16. Favourite Quote? Many. “Solo en sueños, en la poesía, en el juego —encender una vela, andar con ella por el corredor— nos asomamos a veces a lo que fuimos antes de ser esto que vaya a saber si somos” by Julio Cortázar in his book Rayuela. ("Only in dreams, in poetry, in games - lighting a candle, walking with it down the corridor - do we sometimes peek into what we were before being this, who will know if we are").

17. Favourite singer? Janis Joplin, Freddy Mercury, David Gilmour, Robert Plant, Judy Garland, Florence Welch, Joan Baez and surely I forget many.

18. Favourite colour(s)? Brown, dark green, yellow, gold, purple and silver.

19. Loud music or soft music? Both actually, quiet music low and hard music louder.

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? I like to be in nature (same as the girl who nominated me)

21. How long does it take you to shower? 30 minutes/one hour lmao, I like to take a relaxing bath but it depends on how long I have.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 20 or 30 minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? Nope, I'm pretty calm. In 2018 a classmate wanted to hit me after school for being a weirdo but I was able to stop the fight in time, something bad would have happened to me because I can't hit anyone ;)

24. Turn on(s)? Effective communicator, being kind to others, helping others, respectful towards others, someone who doesn’t like conflict and prefers peace, compassion, good sense of humour, groovy sense of style, good taste in music, non-verbal communication, respecting my need for space and respecting that I value my personal freedom, open minded but has their own opinions, willing to enlighten me, being able to let go and be free with me, piercing eyes, nice smile, being able to understand me (same as the girl who nominated me again)

25. Turn off(s)? Manipulation or toxic actions, being disrespectful, inappropriate jokes, believing that you are better than everyone, not being grateful, not respecting my personal space and personal things, etc, etc.

26. The reason I joined Tumblr? I wanted to get into a place where I can share my nonsense and taste, share ideas and jokes in a non-toxic place like Twitter. Luckily the people I have talked here are nice and the pink floyd community and other bands are pretty good💖✨.

27. Fears? Many people are afraid of the death of oneself but I am more afraid of the death of my loved ones, the ocean gives me a lot of panic (although I would love to dive) and I am afraid of being standing next to a statue or something carved with shape that is bigger than me, like the cat litter statues in Egyptian.

28. Last thing that made you cry? The movie about Judy Garland, gosh💔.

29. Last time you cried? Last night.

30. Meaning behind your URL? Iggy the Eskimo is the nickname of the naked girl who is in some photos of Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs, and I love her so much (not much of a story behind my URL really).

31. Last book you read? Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, very good.

32. Last song you listened to? Green is the Colour by Pink Floyd.

33. Last show you watched? The Office.

34. Last person you talked to? My grandma or my boyfriend, I don't remember.

35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted? They are my grandmother and my boyfriend, I mean ?

36. Favorite food? Pasta :) if you want my heart just give me pasta. And I'm trying to start being a vegetarian.

37. Place you want to visit? I want to travel all the world really, but Greece, London, Scotland, India and Nordic countries are my fav.

38. Last place you were? The last place where I traveled? To Bariloche, south of Argentina in January of this year :)

39. Do you have a crush? Yup.

40. Last time you kissed someone? Some days ago i guess.

41. Last time you were insulted and what was it? It's weird that people insult me because I don't usually do bad things and mostly when I'm surrounded by people they rarely notice me, so I really don't remember when they last insulted me.

42. What color underwear are you wearing? Calm down honey

43. What colour shirt are you wearing? Multicolour, are these t-shirts that are dyed.

44. What colour bottoms are you wearing? Dark blue jeans.

45. Wearing any bracelets? Noup, although I usually wear some.

46. Last sport you played? Maybe volleyball in February at school (I probably played bad).

47. Last song you sang? I sing pieces of songs all day so I don't remember which one was the last one.

48. Last prank call you remember doing? Idk, maybe when I was younger and have friends.

49. Last time you hung out with someone? Loooooooooong time ago.

50. Favourite movie(s)? The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, The Godfather (all), Judy, Rocketman, The Wall and many that I do not remember lol.

This took me a long time so if you read everything thank you💖I'm not sure if the people I'm nominating have already been nominated but

@artsyhippie @divine-and-decaying @whatdyoumean-interesting @herrmiu (only if you want to) and anyone who wants to ✨

[sweetonmylove]

The “Pop, Rock, and Drop It” KiriBaku Compilation Fic Rec List

I originally started this recent set of fic rec lists to celebrate surpassing 200 followers, to cultivate not just one, but multiple KiriBaku fic rec’s to show my appreciation for my followers, my fandom, my OTP, and the beautiful writers who supply me with the nourishment I crave on the daily.

**But now I would like to thank my 300 followers for joining me in our mutual love of all things KiriBaku. Let the KiriBaku loving hours commence!

Out of Control *E* ~ Arxaris

This right here is like the peanut butter to my jelly…. Quirk swap! Kiri gets all Blasty McSplode and Baku… gets hard! First they can't keep their hands off themselves cuz they're pining idiots okay? But then they realize they can't keep their hands off each other. Yet another brilliant creation from Arx

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19355623

Favourite Everything *NR* ~ Firesparks

Oh my god you guys, this is just too damn cute. Strangers to lovers who are room mates (Oh my god), soulmates, Coffee shop manager Kiri, and Cop Baku… so many tropes but it works sooo well!! This is just comedy gold and there's a huge prank war <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19095742

What Just Fucking Happened *E*~ Dadzawa for ThatFunkyOpossum

My dudes, I can't even tell you just how many times I've read this one. Aged-Up Pro-Heroes who are pining idiots (again). Kiri sustains injury and Baku is called upon to help mend him…. Which leads to Bottom Baku and Top Kiri.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18786484

Red Neon *E* ~Shippeh

This is one of those fics that just gets under your skin, ya know? Mutual pining boys who are aged-up and one of them is quite tipsy.. But not enough to deter from grinding while dancing, making out, and some smutty getting together in the alley behind the club.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18902734

Oops Wrong Room *E*~ Snitchdust

Kiri gets drunk and mistakes Bakuboy's room as his own… *Spoiler alert* Bakugou sleeps naked! First time, first kiss, porn with feelings and plot. Baku might be a tad OOC, but who isn't when you're horny and your personal fantasy literally falls into your bed, on top of you?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237013

The 80th Floor *M* ~ Ashii Black

Cut to I-Island and this explains what these two were doing wandering around on the 80th floor. Making out, groping, and humor ensue

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18458609

Fate Can Suck It *T* ~ Ashii Black for Icicle

AU Soulmates, Mutual pining (of course), First kiss, and the beloved Bakusquad make an appearance

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18505888

Quirk Swap *G* ~ Deviance

This one literally has no dialogue, but it doesn’t need it, like at all. It's a shorty but a sweetie and the title says it all

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15468249

Burnt Edges *T* ~ Deviance

This one is simply sweet and much needed for a touch-starved Bakugou. Kirishima is a sweetheart who just wants to be tender with his Bakubabe. First kisses and cuddles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991703

One to Ten *T* ~ Crunchrapsupreme

Kirishima attempts to climb the ladder of success and weasel his way into Bakugou Katsuki's explosive little heart. Step one? He has to get to level ten. Friends to lovers, crushing, pining, kissing, cats, and confessions

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770692

Get Tough, Straight Up *T* ~ Qactus

Ok ya'll, this is cutesie to the max. Someone stole Kiri's little stuffy of himself?! *Gasps* now just who could be the culprit? Accidental confession, cuddling, requited love, kissing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725113

Carried Away *M* ~ Tusslee

Tattoo shop AU with Tattoo artist Kiri, past BakuDeku, patron Baku, first dates, getting together, and a Tatted Bakugou (be still my heart).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12035334

Candy Kisses *T* ~ Maplefudge (Orphan Account)

Guuuys Maple has this orphaned account where she stashed away some REALLY REALLY great shit. This one is cute as hell. It involves a school festival kissing booth, Class 1-A, Awkwardness, and teen romance

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186324

Benched *E* ~Fanficismything

Aged-up, Pro-Hero, Roomies (yes please), where Kiri bench presses a very aroused and distressed Bakugou. Poor baby tries to rush home and alleviate his "frustration," when low and behold, Kiri becomes a witness and a participant (hallelujah!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123723

If Only It Were Easier *E* ~ Just_A_Couple_Of_Thoughts

A post break up fic with getting back together as endgame. Mutual Pining with a Top Baku and Bottom Kiri this time around!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11645781

The Heated Birthday Spar *E* ~Asiankittee

What happens when two dudes who are dating? Spar until one collapses onto the other? Smut and fluff, of course. First time, porn with feelings, Top Baku and Bottom Kiri, SURPRISE!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070220839

If You Want To… *M*~ Treeclimbr

Another fic I've eye-banged more than a few times. Getting together, first times, Blowjobs… in a steamy shower… what could be better??

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647763

Melt Against Me *E* ~ FoolishFortuna

Totally improper use of popsicles! Oral fixation, sexual tension, dry humping, grinding, and of course, sticky hand jobs. This one is one of my favs from Foolish, which is a hard feat seeing that this writer hasn't published a single KiriBaku that I haven't been head over heels for

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18351314

Feral Night *E* YeetOnTheBeat

A sex pollen fic that features Kiri and Baku in a Established Relationship who are comfortable with switching. You'll find smut and humor here, folks!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19381786

Rock Steady, Rock Hard *E*~ CallingForHeaven

Okay, so Bakugou hates the cold right? Well when he awakes to snow outside he decides that all he wants is some body heat, but Kiri decides he would rather whisper sweet nothings into Baku's ears until he gives in to some touching and what not. Really humorous and sweet.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12891876

Hold Me 'Til I Scream For Air To Breathe *E* ~ Callingforheaven

This is just yes. Angry sex, we could've died sex, locker room sex, getting together, Bottom Baku and Top Kiri

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12934521

**** Side Note… If you're a writer and we're mutuals and I've commented on your works… Be prepared to be featured on one of my next lists… there will be a few more in the span of the next few days! Just know, it has nothing to do with us being mutuals, but instead, my great appreciation for your divine writing, the joy, pain, and entertainment you have provided to me and everyone else!****

I'll conclude this with the same message… As always, please be kind and share your love with the incredible authors who poured themselves into these works. Kudos are fantastic and shouting out your love & adoration literally feeds our beloved writers' souls… which in turn, helps inspire more of the tremendous fics we all crave!! Do yourselves a favor and read these, relish in the phenomenal creations , and *PLEASE REBLOG* (even if you've read these), as someone out there might not have and these writers deserve ALL the attention they can get!!

@arxaris @shippeh @maraudermonkey @maplefudge @kingdomheartstrash @ashiiblack @foolishfortuna

[authoratmidnight]

Spectre x Aki

Between this and Yusei x Ryoken I feel like I’m getting all the prompts I see everyone else normally get lol

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - idk, a while hopefully

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I mean I think it depends on how they meet. i like to think thy bond over plants and childhood trauma

How was their first kiss? - Probably v rough with lots of biting

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Specter

Who is the best man/men? - Ryoken for Specter (I mean, who /else/ would it be lol)

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -I have no idea. Maybe Rua if we assume the other 5D’s characters exist.

Who did the most planning? - Aki

Who stressed the most? -Aki

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -Divine

Sex:

Who is on top? - Aki lmao

Who is the one to instigate things? - It depends

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - Listen, it’s two ygo plant users. Someone is, at a minimum, getting tied up

How long do they normally last? -as long as it takes? idk, this question is just, weird to me.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -I guess?

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Honestly I had no idea cause, while Im sure Aki could be a good mom, I’m not sure about Specter and kids. I’m not even sure he likes them.

How many children will they adopt? - I feel like they might the kind to adopt older kids, like preteens to teens

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -non b/c post diaper kids

Who is the stricter parent? - Aki

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Aki

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Both

Who is the more loved parent? - Aki. Specter is, unfortunately a bit cold (he tries tho)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - neither

Who cried the most at graduation? - They probably both got a bit misty eyed

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Specter, and then tell them how not to get caught (as long as Aki isn’t listening)

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Specter

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -Hmmmm

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both

How often do they bake desserts? - Specter does more than Aki, he likes making sweets

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Specter

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Maybe Aki?

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Neither of them are that bad lol

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? - Neither really

Who cleans up after the pets? - n/a but they both care for the plants

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Neither

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Not sure

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Specter

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Aki (tho if he’s been out in the garden Specter will be in there for a long time)

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - n/a

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Does decorating with plants count?

What are their goals for the relationship? - Grow ALL the plants

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Aki

Who plays the most pranks? -Neither

[eatrude]

ship meme...EYES EMOJI

ship meme || accepting selectively ! 

General:

Rate the Ship: Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPsHow long will they last?: “ Achilles wished all Greeks would die, so that he and Patroclus could conquer Troy alone.Took divine intervention to bring them down. “ How quickly did/will they fall in love?: For Hannibal, there was an infatuation at first sight – but where he fell in love, he isn’t even sure.  The inkling of realization didn’t set in until the evisceration until – “ Did you believe you could change me ?  The way I changed you ? “ – “ I already have. “  which … caused him to realize he was fucked. How was their first kiss?: long overdue, mostly.  bloody – but beautiful, just before Will pulled them over the cliffs.  Hannibal would call it perfect. 

Wedding:

Who proposed?: hannibal … sort of … or he will, eventually.  we haven’t gotten there yet.Who is the best man/men?: chiyoh ends up their best man / maid / witness by default. Who is the braid’s maid(s)?: Who did the most planning?: hannibal.  mostly just making sure they could manage this legally and avoid getting CAUGHT. Who stressed the most?: probably Will … but Hannibal is so much more nervous than he lets on and it surprises himself.How fancy was the ceremony?:  Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  ( it was casual because it had to be – but in all honesty it’s everything leading up to it and the after that’s important to them rather than the ceremony)Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?:  uhhh the fbi lol

Sex:

Who is on top?: hannibal is usually more dominant – but Will is the only person Hannibal will submit too, so they switch back and forth. Who is the one to instigate things?: hannibal is usually the heathen who can’t keep his hands to himself. How healthy is their sex life?:  Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  ( they cover this whole fucking scale – in the start post fall they were the beginning and now at times they never st o p ) How kinky are they?:  Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head ( anywhere on the tail end d of the scale … they get pretty experimental with each other, willing to try things they wouldn’t with anyone else – including leaving LASTING SCARS so I would call that extreme ) How long do they normally last?: I don’t know that I can quantify this because it’s so different every time. Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?: Hannibal is all about either orgasm denial or multiple orgasms with a lot of partners so I’d wager no on this,,, but reciprocity is big with them so nothings getting left out dont worryHow rough are they in bed?:  Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.  ( LASTING.  SCARS. ) How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?:  No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.  ( aftercare, primarily – but hannibal is in general way more touchy and feely than one might expect.  Early morning cuddles are common, soft kisses, gentle morning sex – ) 

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?: none –  How many children will they adopt?: …. god hopefully none.  after abigail i don’t know that they could manage it, that it would feel wrong … Who gets stuck with the most diapers?: even if they did it wouldn’t be a baby so – Who is the stricter parent?: probably pretty even, if they did – considering their lifestyle they would have to be. Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?: Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?: Who is the more loved parent?: Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?:Who cried the most at graduation?:   ( Wouldn’t be able to send a child to school so ) Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?: probably hannibal ,, 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?: hannibal ofcWho is the most picky in their food choice?: oh my god hannibal,, you wouldn’t think it but I mean r e a l l y think about it this man won’t even touch burgers wtf. Who does the grocery shopping?: hannibal – but Will can be trusted to do it now and then.  Hannibal just prefers to do all the kitchen stuff himself.   How often do they bake desserts?: more often than he did in baltimore but not that often.Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?:  MEAT LOVERS ,,,,Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?: hannibal but honestly it’s not even a surprise … Who is more likely to suggest going out?: they don’t, not for dinner anyway. Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking?: will. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room?: neither of them is especially messy but hannibal is meticulously clean – so usually him. Who is really against chores?: neither of them probably Who cleans up after the pets?: Will, once they get dogs – Hannibal doesn’t mind doing it but the dogs are really stability for him, something to normalize life and make him feel better so they’re his responsibility. Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?: neither of them Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?: mm, I don’t know that either of them stress when they do have guests … hannibal is meticulous as a host. Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?: pfft either of them tbh

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?: hannibal, probably – he likes to soak Who takes the dog out for a walk?: will, usually – Hannibal does on occasion. How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?: they don’t really decorate for the holidays, but Hannibal will make special meals. What are their goals for the relationship?: not get arrested oof or kill each otherWho is most likely to sleep till noon?: will – not that either of them would but I feel like Will is more likely to sleep in if undisturbed between the two of them – Hannibal is almost always up before the sun. Who plays the most pranks?: neither of them, probably – they fight a lot tho

[childrenofthestoneexchange]

Pinch Hits, pt. 2

A last-minute default. Anyone taking this assignment will have until end of day on May 13 to finish it. If you’re interested, please respond ASAP, as we have only one week to go until our planned reveals!

Requests:

Cassandra Pentaghast/Varric Tethras

Lace Harding/Josephine Montilyet

Lace Harding/Cassandra Pentaghast

Female Cadash/Cassandra Pentaghast

Lace Harding/Krem Aclassi

House Tethras

Bianca Davri/Bogdan Vasca

Full details of the signup are under the cut. A written assignment must be at least 1,000 words long; an art assignment must be a fully finished piece. To claim this pinch hit, email cotsexchange@gmail.com with your AO3 username. The first person to request it will receive it; if you don’t hear back from us, assume it’s gone to someone else.

Link to letter: http://ripplesofaqua.tumblr.com/post/172253887785/hi-children-of-the-stone-authorartist-thank-you

Request 1: Cassandra Pentaghast/Varric Tethras

These two are admittedly (and fairly obviously if you look at my profiles) my DA OTP. I love their banter, and how they slowly grow to respect each other over the course of DA:I. Does Varric have a contest to see how many *disgusted noises* he can get out of Cass - perhaps through increasingly bad puns or stories? What was their boat trip from Kirkwall to Haven (along with Cullen) like, before the Conclave? How would they correspond after Trespasser while Varric is in Kirkwall and Cass is rebuilding the Seekers? Or maybe Varric writes a story-within-a-story AU for Cassandra about themselves (Victorian-era fencer Cassandra meets charming rogue Varric, ft cravats, anyone?) Pretty much anything is fine, though I'd prefer no Divine Cassandra, please

Request 2: Lace Harding/Josephine Montilyet

I totally see these two as having romantic sides! Harding's dance lessons! The basket of flowers Josie gives Harding as a thank-you for serving the Inquisition! Maybe they would admire each other from afar, or bond over a shared love of stories, wicked grace, or desserts? Perhaps the fireplace and bathtub in Josie's office could be involved? Do they share similar senses of humor and subtle mischief? Maybe Josephine enlists Harding's help in getting back at some obnoxious noble? Or Harding comes across something while traveling for a mission (a wildflower, a scarf in a merchant's stall, a quill pen, could be anything), and it reminds her of Josie back at Skyhold.

Request 3: Lace Harding/Cassandra Pentaghast

What would happen if these two were sent out on a mission together? Would tropes ensue (like huddling for warmth, hurt/comfort, or only one room left at the inn)? Or maybe Cassandra needs a refresher dance lesson before the Winter Palace? Perhaps Harding admires Cassandra's muscles (and Cassandra) from afar, only to be roped into a sparring match with her. There's so many possibilities - have fun!

Request 4: Female Cadash/Cassandra Pentaghast

What if Inquisitor Cadash was a bard set on wooing Cassandra through song, poetry, dance - anything! What would Cadash do to make Cass blush? Would Cassandra be impressed by Cadash's ability to solve problems with words instead of violence? Would someone rival Cadash for Cassandra's heart, leading to a battle of the bards?

Request 5: Lace Harding/Krem Aclassi

There's some fascinating parallels between these two characters - they're both talented leaders who are important within the Inquisition, though not quite within the inner circle. How would this affect their view of the Inquisition, and of each other? Would they send letters while away on assignment? What would they do after Corypheus is defeated? Would the Chargers ever adopt Harding as one of their own? Perhaps pranks and mayhem would be involved!

Request 6: House Tethras

I'd love to see anything expanding on what little we know about the Tethras family. This could be about Varric's immediate family while he was growing up or before he was born, the extended family (including Thorold & Maevaris, but also others), their exile to the surface, past or future generations - or maybe something else! Feel free to fill in the gaps of canon with OCs

Request 7: Bianca Davri/Bogdan Vasca

We hear a little about this relationship from Varric's pov, but what is it actually like? How did they meet? Was theirs purely a marriage of opportunity, or are there actually more complicated feelings involved? How much does power, wealth, or love matter to each of them? Does this change over time? How does their relationship affect their relationship with their families, or even with the larger dwarven society?

[sosoukoku]

It is so kind of u to do this!!😁 🌸⚡️Name's Jiya, Gryffindor, love pulling pranks on people, fav colours are blue and gold. I love Gred and Forge, my OTP is/are Lames/Jily, Dramione, Mondler, etc. I love listening to music and hate school. i would love to travel the world some day! xoxo Jiya.

url: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Hermione Grangericon: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Nymphadora Tonkstheme: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Lily Evansmobile theme: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Molly Weasleyposts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Ginny Weasleyoverall: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / Minerva McGonagallFollowing?: no sorry, but you’re fab / f+ / absolutely / after all this time? always

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor / Hufflepuff / Ravenclaw / SlytherinEra: Founders / Riddle / Marauders / Lightening / Next GenBlood status: Pure blood / half blood / muggle bornPet: Toad / Owl / Rat / Cat / Pygmy Puff / Illegal Magical Creature (you rebel)Best friends: Luna Lovegood and Ginny weasleySchool position: Head Boy/Girl / Prefect / Quidditch Captain / Trouble MakerBest Subject: Transfiguration / Charms / History of Magic / Potions / Defence Against the Dark Arts / Astronomy /Divination / Flying / Care of Magical Creatures / AlchemyWorst Subject: Transfiguration / Charms / History of Magic / Potions / Defence Against the Dark Arts / Astronomy /Divination / Flying / Care of Magical Creatures / AlchemyFavourite spot: Library / Hagrid’s Hut / The Great Hall / Your Common Room / Astronomy Tower / Forbidden Forest / The Room of Requirement / Courtyard / Quidditch FieldQuidditch Position: Chaser / Beater / Seeker / KeeperProfession: Auror / Broom Maker / Dragonologist / Healer / Herbologist / Obliviator / Quidditch player / Spell Inventor / Wand MakerBest Spell: diminuendo 

want one?

[rottenappleheart]

Chapters: 1/10 (finished) Fandom: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms Relationships: Ganondorf/Link/Zelda, Ganondorf & Nabooru Additional Tags: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Assassination Plot(s), Being Too Old For This Shit, The Gods Hate You, Screw Destiny

Summary: Almost twenty years after the new Queen of Hyrule banished the Gerudo King, her country is devastated in a fiery cataclysm, driving Hylian refugees to the desert for shelter. Ganondorf would rather piss glass than help his enemies, but certain old promises haunt him - along with certain new ghosts.

[notintheipswichboyband]

Caleb & Chase --> ultimate ship meme :3

           ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!                        

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? Chase could kill Caleb at any Minute. XD

How quickly did/will they fall in love? Caleb was instantly in love with Chase, and wanted to try and save Chase. Chase on the other hand, not so much, just flirty and trying to get in with Caleb and his friends before turning into a murderous angry teen who wished to bathe in the blood of his enemies.

How was their first kiss? It was so awkward. lol.

Wedding:

Who proposed? I say Caleb, Chase is just too stubborn to do something that has him being committed.

Who is the best man/men? Tyler, Pogue, Reid and Bucky Barnes more than likely. Chase has no friends so he brings Bucky to the table lol.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Mantis and Wanda Maximoff, Who Chase also brings to the table as well, lol.

Who did the most planning? Caleb more than likely. Even though Clearly, Chase would be better at it. Since he planned a fucking murder after already having killed three other people and got so god damn close only divine intervention could stop the last murder victim, Caleb, from dying. XD

Who stressed the most? Caleb, definitely.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Chase.

Sex:

Who is on top? Either of them could be, honestly.

Who is the one to instigate things? Probably Caleb.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? About the average I guess, Chase doesn’t want to be there any longer than he has to be. lol. You can say Caleb is the kinky one, and Chase likes to play along but he’s not into it so much.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Who cares.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Four

How many children will they adopt? Two

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Caleb

Who is the stricter parent? Caleb

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Caleb

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Chase

Who is the more loved parent? Caleb

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Caleb

Who cried the most at graduation? Caleb

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Chase

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Chase

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Caleb, Chase would have to sit at his dinner table at night till he ate everything on the plate. So he’s never picky, he just knows what he likes by now.

Who does the grocery shopping? Chase, he knows what he likes by now lol

How often do they bake desserts? Probably regularly, Chase loves sweets.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? They are omnivores. So they try and get healthy amounts of both more than anything. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Caleb

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Chase

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Chase, ‘accidentally’ , you can say that’s the reason why.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Chase, though both will more than likely also keep the room clean. They aren’t messy.

Who is really against chores? Neither, they can handle doing shores.

Who cleans up after the pets? Both would be cleaning up after the pets.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Neither, Chase would literally kill Caleb if he found anything like that going on. Caleb would probably never do anything like that though.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Neither.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? No one.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Chase probably, since he’s sore and paralyzed from the neck down he feels much more relaxed just soaking for a long time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Chase

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? I’m sure often, being as Chase’s family was, while very mundane about it, still ‘in the spirit’ and Caleb’s family probably always went all out when he was a kid.

What are their goals for the relationship? MORTAL KOMBAT!

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Neither. They have shit to do, you know.

Who plays the most pranks? Chase probably, look, he’s not going to give up his wish to bully Caleb to death just because they are married. Pranks are the best way to let Caleb know Chase is a danger to him. lol.

[rottenappleheart]

Here, have part of a ZelGan thing about passive-aggressive gift exchanges across the border.

On the first anniversary of her coronation, she sent him a bottle of the finest wine–the same vintage that had been served on the day itself, which, of course, he had not the chance to taste, under the circumstances.

He sent her back a cask full of bats.

To be fair, he had labelled it as such. WARNING: BATS, in the plainest Gerudo script, right across the head.

To be fair to the bats, they had never been alive in the first place. The cask was primed with a hex: a simple enough trick, now that he’d learned the witchcraft behind it. When breached, the cask would erupt with a fountain of squeaking, flapping, beady-eyed illusions. Harmless, but sure to disquiet the recipient. Or anyone nearby. Such as the entire Hylian court, gathered to celebrate the unlooked-for peace of the past year.

(He and Nabooru laughed themselves sick over the wine.)

If the new Queen chose not to translate the label, that was her misstep. And if she had read it right and opened it anyway, out of curiosity or a secret desire for chaos, well–

Once she sent her captain of the guard (to whom the border was never really closed, even if he had commanded it) to bring him a red velvet cape, embroidered in gold thread. It was a kingly gift: magnificent, lush, and utterly unwearable. Even if he could have acknowledged its arrival–which their publicly-recorded feud made impossible, as she must have known when she sent it–it was far too heavy for the heat.

But it demanded an answer, which he provided in the form of a delicate silk robe. All along the border, his finest calligrapher painted the rudest words the Gerudo language had to offer. His sisters spent several days coming up with those, vying to outdo each other in obscenity. This was their kind of sport.

When he saw what he was to deliver, the captain of the guard rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ask for your advice, errand boy,” Ganondorf told him.

There was no point in waiting to hear how this trade was received. If it were delivered, it would be privately, unlike the situation with the bats. But a few months later, one of his sisters broke into the Queen’s palace, and came back to report that she wore the robe in the evenings as she did her reading.

She sent him seeds, which was a touching gesture, if overly optimistic.

It took some years, but when he had bred and trained a horse to his liking, he sent it to her, with holy blessings stitched into its saddle and braided into its mane.

[rottenappleheart]

The thing I meant to say last night before wine and 30 Rock took over my plans: I’m about 90% convinced I’ll do the ZelGan thing this winter. Just because I’ve been thinking about what I’d write for a week now, and picking apart the details, and I’m starting to get invested.

I don’t know if anyone else would like the kind of story this is (you say romance, i hear apocalyptic wasteland refugee au, apparently)

Also, 10K words remains A LOT OF WORDS when you’ve only done drabbles for years. I just went to check some older stuff, remembering when 10K COULD be done in a single VERY INSPIRED day, and it turns out that the longest fic currently posted under my name is only 2K. Which is disheartening.

But I have another two weeks to decide.

[rottenappleheart]

I am kicking around the idea of the ZelGan Big Bang. I’ve never done anything like it before, and frankly I am in the most appalling writing rut where I can barely form a sentence before deleting it, but maybe this is what I need to shake me out.

And I’m not exactly short on ideas. (They may not be what anyone ELSE wants from this pairing, but they amuse me.)

On the one hand, maybe a contest (with a timeline) is what I need, not just to get myself out of this rut, but also to have something to LOOK FORWARD TO in my life (and it’s really sad that I have to say that.) But I’m afraid I’ll give up and ruin someone else’s experience.

Also, I only have the vaguest idea of how these things work.