#otp: gitme

[moodypetrichorlove]

Honestly, this episode was all about Serkan unhesitatingly and willingly diving in to help Eda as much as he could and as many times as the opportunity presented, and I'm very emotional about it now. 😭😍❤️👌🏻

Even when he doesn't remember her, Serkan is drawn to Eda like a moth to a flame and wants to be around her, with her, and simply be there for her.

Boy really is falling in love with his soulmate all over again, but he'll probably keep on denying it because it scares him and he still cannot see her face in the fragments of his memories, so he's all "how could I have ever loved her if I can't even recall her presence in my life?!"😭🤷🏻‍♀️

[moodypetrichorlove]

I recall Engin once telling Eda that her and Serkan are actually eerily similar and oh boy was he right.

TOP TIER CONTENT

[moodypetrichorlove28]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Serkan Bolat/Eda Yildiz Characters: Serkan Bolat, Eda Yildiz, Aydan Bolat, Engin Sezgin, Efe Akman Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Eda knows the truth!, Reunions, Second Chances, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Declarations Of Love

Summary:

There’s something in her eyes that makes it hard to breathe.

[lezet]

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[moodypetrichorlove]

[moodypetrichorlove]

This gif set reminded me of how when I first watched this scene I noticed that Eda had torn up that note before leaving. Because if you look closely at the fourth gif, it seems like there's smaller pieces of paper on the tray. But then Serkan's holding the original sized, not-torn-up note in the car...

Does that mean Serkan Bolat taped up the note? That he actually took time to sit and decipher the puzzle and tape it up? Yes, he did! 🥺🥺❤️😭😭😭

Don’t look at me with your eyes but look at me with your heart

[moodypetrichorlove]

Sen Çal Kapimi

Alright, so since episode 14, I've seen some posts floating around about how Serkan is evil / cruel / a coward for not telling Eda the truth and breaking up with her like he did, and that he did so following the ridiculous logic of "Let me break her heart before she gets a chance to break mine". And I am so confused because are we all watching the same show? Like, that last one isn't even close to the actual reason why he broke up with her, guys.

He really did want to tell her the truth because he's a man of logic and reason and he knew he couldn't hold on to this secret; since the beginning, the only exception where logic hasn't worked for him has been Eda. However, Serkan ultimately did not tell her the truth because he believes it's just going to cause her a heck of a lot of pain and unravel her life as she knows it, especially when she has decided that she'll never forgive the responsible party, ever. He believes she'll hate him when she finds out the truth about her parents' deaths, which is a sound notion. Eda, even if she doesn't hate him, will feel the need to be away from him or she might resent him because Serkan and his family would only serve to be a painful reminder of what she's lost. It's but natural.

And he wants to protect her from all that pain, from that emotional trauma that she'll never really be able to leave behind coming back to the forefront. Which is exactly why he pushes her away from himself, knowing it'll limit her interaction with his family, too.

I'm not saying that the reason he gave for the breakup was the best, but could there ever be a good enough reason here? In this situation? (Also, Serkan the robot workaholic making a comeback is totally plausible... Nothing unbelievable there.) Yes, he made a decision for the both of them and yes, he took away Eda's right to making her own choices, but uff guys! Give the poor guy a break! He's had his life upheaved in a matter of one night! And that's on top of all his own childhood trauma, abandonment issues, and insecurities. (I mean, hello, how many times has he talked about Eda getting tired of him aka not wanting to be with him?) So right now, Serkan is only doing what he thinks right and better - not for him, but for Eda. He's back to thinking logically.

He'd rather have Eda hate him for something he caused (the breakup because he prioritised work over her) than have her hate and punish him for a sin he didn't commit.

Serkan broke up with the girl he loves like none other, the girl who very well may be the love of his life, his one true love or whatever else you call it, not because he doesn't love her, but because he does. In fact, he Ioves her too much.

And I don't think giving up your love in order to protect it is easy. I think it takes way too much courage, too many guts. It's not a piece of cake to break not only the heart of the one you love, but also your own.

So, long story short, Serkan is anything but a coward.

[moodypetrichorlove]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sen Çal Kapımı (@sencalkapimi) on Nov 11, 2020 at 7:00am PST

Uh, so, this hashtag is killing me. 😭❤️😭❤️

Why do they come up with such good content? It's brutal, really. I've got three hours till the episode airs. Ugh, I'm going to go mad overthinking this!!!! 🙃😧🤔

[moodypetrichorlove]

I feel like the hashtag, #ruhikizim, for tonight's episode was bait and we fell hook, line and sinker for it. No regrets, though. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[moodypetrichorlove]

Well, isn't this a relief!

[moodypetrichorlove28]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Serkan Bolat/Eda Yildiz Characters: Serkan Bolat, Eda Yildiz Additional Tags: Angst, Hopeful Ending, Character Study, Kinda, Angst and Feels, Denial of Feelings, Realization, heavy on Serkan Bolat, Memories, Repressed Memories, Memory Loss, tbh i don't know what to tag this lol, Introspection, Serkan centric, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Baggage, Hurt No Comfort, but also kinda not?, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Loss of Identity, Second Chances, Reunions, Eventual Happy Ending, Edser, Confusion, aka 3 times Serkan Bolat's world crumbled around him and the one time he promised to save it, Pain

Summary:

Serkan remembers the first time he had felt his world crumbling around him, he was twelve years old. He had been sketching his dreamhouse, sitting just outside the stables, the occasional neighs and huffs of the horses seemingly soothing him, when he heard a distant crash and a thud from the house, followed by terrifying yells. 

[moodypetrichorlove]

Efe gitti, ama Serkan burda.

[moodypetrichorlove]

This quote reminds me of Serkan and Eda, so I'm just going to leave it here.

ok but this is such a great analogy to describe serkan’s character as well. a cold cloud that doesn’t move until it bursts from heat and turns into something as beautiful as a star?? yeah sign me tf up

[moodypetrichorlove]

The angst and the fun this new contract is going to deliver us, ooof!! 💜😭

Also, I'm so ready to kill Selin, because I'm a 100% sure she's behind the reporters ambushing Eda and Serkan! 😠 I'd be happy to be proven wrong, but I have no trust left for Selin (or Efe for that matter, lol).

Second fragman for episode 1.20 and translation by SCK NEWS on Twitter.

[moodypetrichorlove]

All of this is everything I've been thinking about since you made the original post @mrsgreenworld.

This little piece of information finally coming to light will possibly make Serkan angry. Tbh, I want him to be angry. Like, not for the entire 2 hours' episode, but at least 10 minutes (aiming low, lol😂)? Because, if we call Serkan being pissed off at Eda for lying to him "hypocritical", then Serkan and Eda are in the same boat.

Eda lied by omission about Selin covering up the contract leak not because she wanted to protect Selin or Ferit, but because she wanted to protect Serkan. She was worried finding out how Selin had betrayed him would hurt him. Serkan lied to Eda when he broke up with her because he wanted to protect her. He was worried she'd have to relive the trauma once he told her, so he didn't.

They both lied, at different points in their relationship, about vastly different issues. But at the end of the day, they did lie. However, they both had the same reason / logic: they thought the truth would hurt the other person and that lying was a better option.

So, I agree with @middle-eastern-queen. Eda can be deemed a hypocrite, too. And I'm also hoping Eda realises that she's not always right, and drops that holier-than-thou attitude she sometimes gets. And that Serkan isn't wrong about everything and everyone, especially when it comes to emotions and relationships. Perhaps she'll finally realise how hard this must have been for Serkan, and that he's human, too. I think she's gotten so used to calling him a robot, she forgets sometimes that (in the words of Serkan) "Robots have a heart, too, Eda".

She's strong, yes, but just because you want to show a strong woman doesn't mean you have to demean a male character (goes both ways), which yes, happens a lot in TV shows and movies. They can both be strong; there has to be a balance of power.

Ok, while I am ecstatic about the kiss, there was something that rubbed me the wrong way. I mean the truth reveal about that first contract leak and how Eda knew about it from Ferit but said nothing. I see where this could be going and I don't like it one bit. They could use it to create yet another conflict between Edser, only this time with Serkan being all "you lied to me" which would be hypocrisy of 💯 level. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the writers won't go down this road 🤞

[moodypetrichorlove]

Alright, so just to be clear, when I said I "hate" how it ended, I didn't mean I didn't like it because it was a bad ending. No, I meant I didn't like it because it was sad. 😭 It was extremely sad, okay. And angsty (and God knows I love angst a little too much). And Kerem and Hande were acting out the sadness of their respective characters so brilliantly, it was palpable! 👏🏻

But I also trust the writing process and I'm sure this isn't going to turn into a big deal, and Edser will resolve this issue within the first few minutes of episode 21. 🤞

Screw you, Selin! They both are going to keep waiting for the other to show up! As if they don't have enough issues already!

I hate that this is how it ends, ugh!