#otherwise this is just genuinely like. what i imagine mike would listen to when he's not listening to bird sounds

[cringefailmike]

you find an old sony discman in the security office, long abandoned with the rest of freddy's. looks like it still works - and there's a CD inside. do you listen?

[lu-undy]

Un-alone, Chapter 11

Here it is!

“D’you think he’ll be back for dinner?” Philip looked through the kitchen window.

“I don’t know, Phil. I hope he will…”

“Carrie…” Philip went to his sister who was making some dinner. “Don’t worry, he’s a big boy.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that… Ugh, guess I was wrong.”

“About what?” He asked the worried mother.

“I thought that he went away with his van only because of work but if he does it here as well, then surely it’s for other reasons.”

“He might be out havin’ fun in a bar or somethin, eh?”

“Nah, Micky’s not like that.” She answered. 

“You don’t know. Maybe he is.”

Phil’s answer made Caroline stop stirring the pan and frown. 

“You boys were up late yesterday?” She asked. 

“We just watched a bit of TV with a beer. You seem awfully worried but you know him better than I do, why would you fret that much?”

“Because… Because I guess you’re right in the grand scheme of things.” She admitted in a sigh.

“About what?”

“I don’t know him that well, I guess.”

“Listen, he’s a man and his job is to deal with danger, he’ll be fine. Would you worry for me if I went out all day?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t but-”

“So then don’t worry about him!” Phil cut her and Caroline pushed her glasses up her nose. 

“I know but I can’t help it. Force of habit, I guess. I’m used to always waiting like that. Sometimes he does come back home, sometimes he doesn’t and I stay up late, hoping that if I wait half an hour more, he’ll appear at the door.”

Phil sighed.

“Look, I asked a few favours at work.”

“Oh?” She answered. “About what?”

“About Micky. You said he’d gotten himself somethin’ to do with the police that he couldn’t talk about. So I thought, as a policeman myself, I could surely get the info.”

“Right, I see, so what did you find out?” She asked excitedly.

“Nothin’.”

“What?” Caroline’s eyebrows jumped.

“I mean, he did stuff for the police and it was so important that it’s sort of uh… a bit… classified?”

“What?!” Caroline repeated. 

“Look, I know you’re worryin’ about him but if he’s called in for jobs like that, then he’s much, much better at his job than what you and Mike imagine.”

“What do you mean?” Caroline turned the stove off and turned to her brother who had taken a seat around the dinner table.

“I mean that he wasn’t just called by the local police for pest control or somethin’. He was paid heftily to buy not only his services but his silence too. Gosh, I’m proud of that boy…!”

Caroline however, was terrified. 

“Hold on, hold on…” She went to sit in front of her brother. “Phil, you’ve got to be clear and tell me. Is he only huntin’ or…?”

“Hell if I know!” Phil answered. “But one thing’s for sure, you should be proud of him instead of scared. That boy, whatever he’s doin’ exactly, he’s doin’ it outstandingly.”

“Oh God…” Caroline sighed and shook her head as she lowered it. She grasped the tea towel in her hand harder.

“What?”

“We’re not so scared as to how his huntin’ goes, with Mike. He was the one to teach him and Micky’s always been careful, nah…”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Exactly what you described, Phil. In a way, we’d have hoped he wouldn’t be too good with a rifle. You never know what you can make a man do if you pay him handsomely. But now that you tell me he’s been off doin’ some classified stuff… Gosh…” Caroline hid her face in her hands. “That’s the worst…”

“Why d’you think he was refusin’ to tell you what he was doin’ then?”

“Cause he doesn’t like to talk about his job to us!”

“Yeah but he doesn’t like it cause he never gets a good word out of either of you for it!” Phil answered. “Look, the way I see it, you guys are doin’ all you can to make him not open up to you.”

“What?”

“Y’know what, let’s have dinner and I’ll explain.”

“Alright, then lay the table out, yeah?”

“Sure.”

They both rose from their chairs and got busy. Philip laid the table for three, in case Mundy would come back from whatever he was doing and Caroline finished her cooking. When they resumed their seats, their plates were full and smoking hot.

“Oh, let me just grab some water, I forgot…” Phil came back with a jug of fresh water. “There.” He sat down and put it on the table between his sister and himself. “Now, that smells delicious…!”

“It’s only spaghetti with a tomato sauce and the leftover ground beef from lunch, eh?”

“Still, smells awfully good, thanks Carrie…” Philip took a taste and closed his eyes with a wide smile. “Gosh that’s almost like Mum’s. You took me centuries back, heh!”

They exchanged a chuckle. 

“So, Phil, what did you mean?”

“With what?”

“With what you said about Micky? That we somehow pushed him not to open up to us?”

“Yeah…” Philip wiped his mouth before going on. “Here’s my take on things. I talked to him and I’ve talked to you, so I got to see both sides of the coin, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So I think he doesn’t talk to you about anythin’ cause he’s just tired of the whole ‘it’s dangerous, do somethin’ else with your life’ speech. Meanwhile, you worry not only cause he does hunt at the end of the day, but also because he’s damn good at it, to put it mildly.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“Hearing the same speech over and over again, it’s gotta be tiring for you and Mike you, don’t it?”

“It is…” Caroline nodded slowly, defeated. “But what else can we do? He’s about forty and a grown up man. Can’t scold him for it anymore.”

“What if you genuinely tried to understand his job a bit better? Have you ever tried just askin’ him not with the intention of tellin’ him off for it?”

Caroline took a deep breath. “I guess not.”

“Well then, start from there. I’m sure he’d love to tell you both about what he likes and all. But you gotta allow him to. Otherwise, he’s just gonna close up like a clam!”

“Yeah, that’s true…” She looked left and right, half ashamed, half distraught at the idea that it was her fault if her son wasn’t very open with her. “Did you…?”

“Did I what?” Phil asked. 

“Well you’ve been havin’ your evenings between boys and all, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you ask him about… Y’know… Sheilas?”

“Oh girls? Yeah, I have.”

“And?” She asked, expecting some news like some would expect a miracle. 

“Nothin’.”

“What d’you mean again with ‘nothin’?”

“Well, literally just that! He’s told me he doesn’t have a girlfriend or anythin’ like that and I think he’s bein’ honest about it…!”

“But?” Caroline knew her brother and she could hear the ‘but’ coming. 

“But there’s something.”

"What? You think he was lying? You think he does have a girlfriend?”

“No, nah. I think there’s somethin’. I don’t exactly know what but I see it in his eyes. He’s not just shy. There’s somethin’ in that heart of his that he’s hidin’.”

“Like what?” Caroline asked. 

Philip took the jug of water and poured some for both of them. 

“Hell if I know…”

-- Miles away --

Mundy raised his eyes to the sky. He took a deep breath. The air smelt the same as back home. The desert here was very different, yet he felt home there, in the middle of nowhere, a nowhere that he did not know and that didn’t know him either. 

The sky’s colours were changing as the sun set gently and Mundy stared in the distance. He was on his van’s rooftop, as far as possible from any and all cities, where his thoughts could be let out free. He could speak them out, or even scream them, shout everything he could not when he was around his family. 

But Mundy did not have that hot blood that would prompt him to do so. Instead, he just thought about it, without the rampant pressure of his uncle or his mother trying to pop his bubble of intimacy. He thought the words that he wished he could say to a friend, a confidant. 

God, I wish. 

He thought. 

God I wish I could find someone nice. 

He looked up at the sky and wished on every star he saw. 

Why? 

Because he so damn wished. He closed his eyes and remembered. He remembered the last time he had a pleasant and meaningful conversation with anyone. That had happened years ago and had cost him his last friend. The one and only person who had understood why his eyes would linger on masculine silhouettes more than feminine ones. They had understood it, and left him, right after giving him that sideways disgusted look.

Mundy sighed. 

He then remembered how it had felt, his first time with a man, and then the other times. The first time was as awkward as it should have been. The ones that followed worked better and better as far as the choreography of moves go. However, there was something that Mundy found tiring. Whoever this partner was -- and it often was a drunk partner found in a pub after a long day of work -- they were always both way past tipsy and not really enjoying more than the physical satisfaction of the act. Sometimes, Mundy would wake up hungover and with a headache that would make him want nothing but to get rid of his catch of the night, so to speak. 

There were no feelings, no attachment, no longing. 

And it got the Aussie thinking. He came to a point where he thought he would rather remove the physical relief to only keep the meaningful discussions, should a choice arise. Better a good friend, than a mute one night stand. 

Unsurprisingly, following such a line of thought, he had grown to prefer his own company and stopped making any effort to find the man his heart and mind dreamt of. He contented himself with his internal monologues and, when his body asked of him, of a solitary kind of intimacy. 

Mundy was in that complete contradiction of craving the company of someone else and hating it at the same time. Having to put up with someone else, changing to please them, to voluntarily close his eyes to whatever they did that he did not like…? Pff, he didn’t have any patience for that anymore. 

So all he had left was to dream. To fabricate a reality of his own where he did have that man. He didn’t need to be good-looking, he didn’t need to be rich. He just needed to understand Mundy, to put up with his long silences, with his sacred intimacy, not in the sexual meaning, no. That man just needed to understand that Mundy was such a mess inside that he preferred to keep to himself. If that dream man could do all that, oh, Mundy was satisfied. If that dream man could understand that Mundy liked his own company not because he hated people, but because they did not understand him. What choice did he have? He couldn’t do anything else? 

It wasn’t like he could cure it or help it. He had tried, to no avail. He just was this way, a way that not even his family could know, because if they did, they would push him away too. But he only had them, nothing else! His mother and father were all that Mundy had, and if he had to make that choice, well it was all thought through! He would of course keep his family. 

That choice, he both didn’t have it and made it anyway everyday. 

No man had caught the Aussie’s interest for more than just a look. He had tried more of course but was most often stopped by the fact that they were normal. They liked women, unlike him. Well, he liked them, but preferred men, greatly so. Thus Mundy would move on yet again, only to end up in his comfortable solitude. 

It was comfortable only because it was familiar. Yet now, he had learnt to live with it, live with the loneliness, like a tattoo that spanned all over his skin, that only he could see. His parents could see it too, but did not see it the right way. God only knew what they thought of him, apart from the usual disappointment at his job, and his single status.

Speaking of his parents…

Mundy blinked repeatedly as he landed back from his day-dreaming. 

His mother and uncle might be waiting for him for dinner. The Aussie moved and went down the ladder at the back of his van before he went to the driver’s seat. What time was it? Bugger, late enough… 

“Oh is that you Micky?” Caroline asked.

“Yeah, I’m back, sorry I didn’t see time fly…” He removed his hat and went to sit around the table. 

"We just finished eatin', son." Phil answered. 

"Ah, sorry again, I didn't mean to skip dinner with you."

"It's alright, Micky." 

He started digging in while his mother started the washing up. His uncle stayed at the dinner table with him. 

“Really good Mum.”

“Thanks, sweetie.”

“So, uh, you been alright, Micky?” Phil asked. 

“Yeah, I just uh…”

“As long as you're safe, it’s all that matters.” Caroline interrupted her washing up and Mundy gasped when he felt her hands on his shoulders and her lips on his cheeks. He blushed. "Phil, can you give us a minute?" 

"Sure. I'll go and give some food to Marty." The old man took his cane and left the kitchen, making sure he closed the door after himself. 

"I know, Mum… Look, I really didn't see how late it was gettin' and-"

"Micky." She interrupted him and turned to sit in front of him. "I don't mind it. I want to talk to you about somethin' else."

"Oh?" 

"Look, I think… I think that in all these years, we might have been doin' the wrong thing, your father and I."

"What d'you mean?" Mundy put his fork down and frowned. 

"I mean that… Uh… Now that I'm far from him and I talked to Phil a bit… I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"About the way your father's always… y'know, he's always been on your back and-and I guess I was too. We've always been tellin' you off about your job and always been worried and all but… But Phil told me a bit more and I think that we completely missed what we should have done." 

She raised her eyes to her son and slid her old hand to grab his, several shades darker than her own. 

"Micky… I want to apologise. I never wanted you to shut yourself up like a snail in his shell and I know that you did that because your dad and I've been always pressurin' you."

Mundy opened wide, round eyes. 

"I…"

"Let me finish, baby." She clenched her fingers on his hand. "Look at me, sweetheart." Mundy raised his eyes to his mother again. "Please, tell me about you."

Her eyes and her overall face looked both so distraught and so compassionate that Mundy lost his tongue. 

"I… What d'you want to know?" 

"Everythin'." She answered. "I feel like the only thing I know about you is what you like to eat, it's… It's terrible. So please, Micky, tell me."

Mundy's blush could hardly be deeper. He didn't like being put on the spot that way. But on the other hand, what his mother had just said was… a miracle!

"I don't know what to say really…"

"Anythin', and I won't tell a thing to your dad. If anythin', I'll try and make him understand what Phil opened my eyes to. We've grown apart not because of your job or anythin', but because of us."

"I… Mum...Thank you." 

"Aw…" Caroline stood up and went to hug her son's head. He laced an arm around her waist and clenched his grip on her hand. She gently brushed his hair and bent down to kiss it. "Now, tell me more about your job, yeah? And please, be honest and all, I promise I won't be mad at you, I love you, Micky…"

Mundy was shocked and astounded. So that was what it had taken? A visit to Phil without his dad?

"Mum, I… I'm so glad that you tell me this... Oof, sorry…"

"Aw, gettin' emotional, eh?" 

Mundy silently nodded against his mother. He pushed his chair back and stood up to hug her better, and closed his eyes. 

"Tell you what, I'll make some tea and I'll send Phil away, then you can tell me more, yeah?" 

"Uh, yeah." Mundy nodded as he felt his mother gently tap his back. "Alright, I'll uh.. I'll give you a hand with the dishes, yeah?" 

"Good boy."

They exchanged a smile and both got to work. Mundy finished washing the dishes and Caroline readied the kettle. She disappeared off the kitchen only to reappear a few minutes later. 

“Right, Phil wanted to go to bed so he’s there. It’s just you and me tonight, Micky.”

“Oh, alright, I’m done with the dishes.”

“Can you grab the cups for the tea, baby?”

“Sure.”

A few minutes later, both were in the living-room enjoying a cup of tea on the sofa. The television was low, just enough to fill the silence but not too loud. 

“So, Micky, go ahead.”

Mundy took a deep breath. He stared into his tea and sighed. 

“Mum, I-I don’t really hunt for animals.”

“What d’you mean?” She asked and raised a curious eyebrow.

“I… I try to save them.”

“Save them?”

“I go after poachers.” Mundy explained with his head low. 

“What do you mean? D’you… Hurt them?”

“I… I try not to. I put them to sleep most of the time. But some of them do come back and don’t learn.”

“What d’you do in that case?”

Mundy’s eyes zigzagged left and right. Caroline scooted over closer to him and took his hand in hers. 

“Hey, it’s alright, whatever it is, I’d rather know.”

Mundy took a deep breath.

“I… I don’t kill them or anythin’ but… I scare them.”

“Micky, please, just tell me.” She clenched her hand on his.

“I shoot them but I make sure it doesn’t kill them. I know where to aim to hurt, not to kill.”

“Oh…”

"They're never alone so there's always someone to get them out of there and get fixed."

"What do they say when they extract a bullet out of him? Surely they call the police and start enquirin'?" Caroline asked, frightened for her son. 

"When I do that, I don't shoot bullets. I shoot canines that you can get from dead animals. There are many from the wild reserves. Sometimes, their oldest beasts die and that's the only thing I ask of them."

"You're in touch with the reserves? I didn't know that." Caroline frowned. 

"Yeah. Sometimes, they call me to have a look cause some poachers would have stolen their beasts. It's then my job to track them down, find them and we can organise them bein' brought back home. Of course, sometimes I come too late and the beast's dead. But most of the time, I manage to find them and have them go back to the reserve they come from safely."

Caroline took a deep breath and sighed. She was still frowning. 

"Uhm…" Mundy looked left and right. "Y-you alright, Mum? Did I go too far?" 

"And those reserves are your clients?" She asked, ignoring Mundy's question. 

"Yeah, most of the time it's reserves; rarely, it's zoos."

"Or the police, eh?" She added. 

"Uh, y-yeah…" He lowered his head. 

"So you try to save those beasts from poachers, is your job, yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"And you don't kill either one or the other."

"Nah, never. When I get the poachers hurt, I guess they go to hospital and try to explain that they did hear a gunshot but the doctors must tell them that it's the shock of bein' bit so deep. In the end, they remove the tooth and patch them up. Those things never go too deep in the tissues."

"How d'you shoot teeth?"

"Custom bullets… It's uh… it's technical and I'm sure you'd be bored to hear all about it." 

"Hm. So you just hurt the blokes?"

"Yeah, that's the worst case scenario."

"And you don't kill or hurt the beasts?" 

"Nah, I don't."

"How do you transport them back to where they belong?" 

"I don't, I usually shoot them with a good dose of tranq' shots and then call the reserve to arrange for collection. I stay nearby, just to make sure the beast doesn't get preyed on or anythin'."

"Right…"

Silence fell during which Caroline fell deep in thought. 

"Mum… Uh… J-just to make sure you maybe understand better, I'm… I'm the only one who does that. You can hire hunters left and right but, I'm the only one who never kills the beast in the end. They don't deserve it. People sometimes…" Mundy shook his head. "They behave like animals, not actual animals. Actual animals just look to eat, sleep and mate. People go and meddle with them for their skins, their furs, their whatever that's expensive. I'd understand it if we were ten thousand years back and you need the leather and all. But in this day and age? Nah, leave them alone. Just look at them, take care of them if you're knowledgeable. Other than that? Just… Just leave them in peace. They don't need us." 

"Gosh." 

Caroline reflected on those words. The last time that Mundy had talked to her for that long was… When even was that? She couldn't remember. And she knew he liked animals and felt more empathy to them than he would to people sometimes, but she had never heard him word it all out. 

"Micky?" 

He didn't dare say or move anything and just remained petrified. 

"Micky, I'm proud of you." 

His head swooshed back up to look at his mother. 

"I still need to wrap my head around all this but… You're not harmin' or hurtin' anyone and you're saving those poor souls, bringing them back home." Caroline hugged her son. "I'm so relieved…!" 

He hugged her back. 

"What did you think I was doin'?" 

"Huntin' beasts and all, but exactly to sell them to people who want to hurt them, take their skin or whatever!"

"I'd never do that, Mum, even if they'd pay me billions."

Caroline had her head buried against her son's chest. 

"I'm so, so happy you're not doin' anything dodgy…"

"Nah, I don't. I… Truth is I could, but I know you and Dad would be worried, so I don't. And I'm not doin' any of this for the money, even though it pays well. I'm doin' it cause I'm the only one who can." 

"Micky?" 

"Yeah?"

"I love you, baby." 

Both smiled, still clinging to each other on the sofa. 

"Will you tell Dad?" 

"I'll try. But not over the phone, I'd rather have him face to face for this." 

"Yeah, thanks." 

"And uh… Micky?" 

"Yeah?" 

Caroline pulled herself out of the embrace. 

"Can I ask you somethin' else?" 

"Sure." He smiled. 

"What about… this?" Caroline put her hand on her son's chest and lightly tapped his heart. Mundy's smile vanished. 

"I… I'm quite tired, Mum. Is that ok if I go to sleep?" 

"Sure, baby."

[tiesandtea]

An in-depth & really interesting review of Head Music’s various - often forgotten but actually brilliant - b-sides. Originally posted on The Vapour Trail London blog on 20 November 2019.

The folklore of early Suede and the B-sides compilation ‘Sci Fi Lullabies’ would lead the casual observer to believe that the band had peaked creatively to the point that post-1997 B-sides would not be worth investigating, however I believe differently and now, thanks to the reissues of ‘Head Music’, these can now be easily accessed for wider reappraisal.

Full article under the cut.

Coincidentally coinciding with the recent release of Brett Anderson’s second memoir ‘Afternoons with the Blinds Drawn’, Suede have issued the 20 year deluxe edition of their fourth album, ‘Head Music’. Their final number one album to date was issued in May of 1999 to much fanfare, following in the footsteps of their classic ‘Coming up’ in 1996, a record that spawned no less than five top ten singles and saw them achieve astronomical fame across Europe and Asia (indeed, Anderson remains a genuine celebrity in parts of Scandinavia as a direct result). Whilst ‘Head Music’ was a hit, its making has gone down in the annals of history as being even more fraught and littered with personal scandal than even that of their second album, ‘Dog Man Star’, the record that infamously served as original guitarist Bernard Butler’s swan song. The chief reason was Anderson’s spiralling addictions to heroin and crack, which in the eyes of the singer served to influence what he and many others deem the patchiness of the record. Indeed, when Suede first reissued their heyday albums back in 2011, Brett would include within the sleeve notes his own rewritten track listings in each, citing Suede’s fervent devotion to ensuring that their B-sides were up to the same quality as their singles and album tracks, thus costing the associated albums some potential improvements. Songs from the album that often raise debate amongst its makers and listeners include ‘Asbestos’, ‘Elephant Man’, and the almost universally-derided title track, a scrappy, crappy exercise in suggestiveness that even producer Steve Osborne initially refused to have anything to do with.

Perhaps due to all of this, the resultant B-sides of the album’s singles have been lost in time somewhat. Whereas the B-sides associated with the first three albums reached legendary status in such a short space of time that the band issued a compilation double album of nearly all of them in 1997, ‘Sci Fi Lullabies’, their 1999 counterparts are rarely spoken of within the same reverent breath. I would argue that this is vastly remiss to the point of sacrilege as, taken in one listenable chunk, they serve to create what on its own would be an incredible record.

But before we investigate further, it’s worth exploring the genesis of Suede’s musical direction at this point. As Brett and the band have noted many times over the years, Suede sought to follow each album with a record almost diametrically opposed to its predecessor stylistically. The kitchen sink gutter glam of their groundbreaking debut was consciously followed by an ambitious, widescreen and darker ‘Dog Man Star’, the pretension and bluster of which was then followed by a strict album of ‘ten singles’ in ‘Coming Up’. Each time, at least one B-side would serve as a blueprint for what would follow; 1993’s ‘High Rising’ and ‘The Big Time’ served very much of signposts for what would follow in 1994, and then again in 1995, Richard Oakes’ sexy glam pop of ‘Together’ would point the band towards ‘Coming Up’ in 1996. Here, they would seek to expand upon the sonic direction of Mat Osman-penned ‘Europe is Our Playground’, a song they so loved they reworked its arrangement live and subsequently re-recorded for the aforementioned B-Sides compilation of 1997. Caked in icy synths and led by a dub-inspired bass line, it signified something cold and electronic, the desolate melancholy of ‘Dog Man Star’ reimagined by Kraftwerk or Berlin-era Bowie. The band promised this new direction in interviews and the public’s appetite was whetted.

Early in 1998, as part of a Pet Shop Boys-curated tribute to Noel Coward’, the band released one of their prime hidden gems, a suitably synthetic and clinical version of the great writer’s ‘Poor Little Rich Girl’. Unfortunately this was shown to the masses on television via a mimed performance that saw an utterly wasted Anderson grinning inanely with zoned out eyes whilst trying not to fall off a chair. This performance distracted from the impressive song (also featuring the highly talented Raissa, who had supported Suede on their Coming Up tour, on vocals) and seemingly left no impression on anybody.

And so to fast forward to the album. The making of the record has been documented extensively not only in Anderson’s second autobiography but also in David Barnett’s authorised biography ‘Love and Poison’ and Mike Christie’s recent documentary set ‘The Insatiable Ones’. If you’re not familiar with the story, it is a jaw dropping tale of decadence, debauchery and depression, the likes of which have seemingly and thankfully been removed from the culture of music making today. Indeed, there’s not a lot of money around now for bands to blow on endless recording sessions fuelled by endless drug abuse. But what emerged was a flawed but often brilliant record that has stood the test of time well and honestly sounds as fresh as the day it was released. The album’s track list can and will continue to be debated but ultimately, had they shaved off two of the more superfluous numbers (I would argue that the title track serves no purpose as does the turgid closing track ‘Crack in the Union Jack’), it would likely be held in the same high regard as the vast portion of their other records. But we won’t dwell on that here.

First single ‘Electricity’ was accompanied by no fewer than five b-sides, all of which carry some merit. ‘Popstar’, a concise lyrical study of the relationship between fan and band, contains the kind of crystalline synths and dubby bass that the band had sought to highlight with their two musical blueprints prior to the album. Richard Oakes’ guitar parts are sparser than ever before but serve the song well, and the chorus is cold and epic in a way that takes the song from good to great. ‘Killer’, complete with a lyric that seems to expand upon the ficitonlised femme fatale of ‘Coming Up’s ‘She’, is more impressive still; a dark, brooding slice of electro-noir that slinks and stalks in the manner suggested by the song’s lyric. It builds and builds to a desperate crescendo and brings to mind the best of Depeche Mode at their ‘Violator’ zenith. ‘See That Girl’, complete with yearning Anderson vocals lamenting ‘this dog shit world’, is less impressive but still good. A real undersung high point of the time is the Neil Codling-written and sang ‘Waterloo’, an electronic folk classic that sees some beautifully melodic guitar lines almost acting as choruses, and a tenderness rarely reached by the band. The fifth and final b-side (it was on the minidisc – yes, minidisc – version of the single), is ‘Implement Yeah!’, an old co-write with Justine Frischmann where Brett parodies Mark E Smith to amusing effect over a gutter-punk thrash that the band premiered with Justine at the 1997 Reading Festival.

‘She’s in Fashion’ followed in 1999 and quickly became one of the band’s better known songs via endless radio play that perhaps contributed to it being their first single since ‘New Generation’ in 1995 not to reach the top ten. Looking back, I imagine the fact that you could walk into any shop at any time during that Summer and be exposed to it as one reason why fewer people bought it than they might otherwise. The B-sides rank among the band’s very best. ‘Bored’ continues where ‘Implement Yeah’ left off with a Stooges-like guitar thrash adorned by sweet synths and a classically anthem Suede chorus. During an interview at the end of 1999, Mat Osman threatened a harder, rockier direction for the next album which never did come to fruition and it’s possible that this would have been one of its blueprints. ‘Pieces Of My Mind’ is better still, and a rehearsal recording of it sounding very different can be found on the new reissue. Taking its cue from ‘Europe is Our Playground’, it is a dreamlike wander through almost psychedelic electronica and its lilting chorus imprints itself on your mind immediately. ‘Jubilee’, a Codling creation, is one of the best of the era and would probably have made for a better first single than ‘Electricity’, a romantic epic that chugs along like ‘Trash’ and bears a dramatic and addictive chorus that would surely have been incredible live. Perhaps the lyric was somewhat off-putting to the band, a blank retread of other songs including the ‘run with me’ hook of the ubiquitous ‘Europe’. If so, this is a shame as if we are to be honest (and Brett has said so numerous times himself), the entire era was marred by some seriously autopilot lyricism that was charming in places in its framing of the Suede lyrical lexicon of language, and just plain boring in others. The single is rounded off by the gorgeous ‘God’s Gift’, a simplistic piano piece aided and abetted by swirling synths and understated bass that had been written by Brett about Justine many years before. As with a few of Suede’s records (most notably the first album), the spectre and influence of Ms Frischmann lurks around the songs of this era but in perhaps a much more positive way; the two had rekindled their friendship prior to the making of the album and it was Justine’s love of new wave that inspired some of the music.

‘Everything Will Flow’, the great lost ballad of the era in the same way as ‘The Wild Ones’ had been five years prior, saw an interesting bag of B-sides attached that differed in style in a far more pronounced way than the two earlier singles. ‘Leaving’, which Brett sees as the ultimate casualty of this period, is prime Suede in its romantic portrait of a girl departing relationship for a new life, although the underlying sentiment is entirely opposite of that of ‘Another No One’ in 1996. Although still featuring synthesised textures, its abundance of gentle guitar and piano is much more organic and not only serves as an appropriate backing to the not dissimilar ‘Flow’ but also as a subtle nod to where the band would go next. ‘Weight of the World’ is entirely a Neil Codling construction as with the earlier ‘Digging a Hole’ on the ‘Lazy’ single of 1997, however here he is eschews piano in favour of nylon strung guitar. Ruminating on the idea of his own demise, the song finds Neil in introspective form and perhaps shows a window into how he must have been feeling at the time, his health suffering significantly during the making of the record resulting in a chronic bout of ME of which he would never fully recover. It is sad and beautiful and at the time I wondered whether he would one day make a solo record. To date, he never has. ‘Seascape’ is up next, an ambient instrumental piece at odds with the majority of Suede’s output (indeed I believe this is Suede’s sole instrumental within their canon). Pleasing and dreamy in a subtly Eno-esque way, it lures you into a false sense of security for what would follow. The final song of the ensemble is the shocking and brilliant ‘Crackhead’. Noted by Q at the time for its outlandish appeal, it remains one of the most captivating songs in Suede’s history. Built around a staccato electronic motif, it lurches and grinds in a manner the band never achieved before or since, as a hoarse Anderson vocal tears apart his own addiction to the ice with suitable ice. At the time, Brett was in recovery, however this sounds like an isolated howl from the depths of dependence. It roars and builds to a final shrieking chorus of ‘you can’t give it up’ which says all that really needed to be said.

The final single of the era, ‘Can’t Get Enough’, another candidate for what should have previewed the album in place of ‘Electricity’, limped to number 24 in the charts but boasted perhaps the greatest array of B-sides of all the singles. In archetypal Suede fashion, ‘Let Go’ cut an honest precursor to the musical way forward, which would culminate in the predominantly folky ‘A New Morning’. Three-layered harmonies and melodic acoustic strum back one of Richard Oakes’ finest guitar performances, chiming and chugging riffery that would be revisited on later single ‘Obsessions’. Brett’s lyrics convey an all-pervaying positivity minus the bland triteness of the single of the same name, capping off an irrestible euphoria that would be deemed suitable for release as an A-side in their commercial home from home that was Sweden. It’s a shame that they were unable to replicate the feeling of the song across the subsequent ‘A New Morning’ album, however upon reflection the fault may lie in the fact that said album would be over-produced to the point of clean-cut nothingness by the otherwise accomplished Stephen Street. Next song ‘Since You Went Away’ is folkier still and retains much of the same charm, with Brett lamenting the feeling of loss felt in the aftermath of a realtionship break-up. Again, this is truly lovely stuff and acts as a further blueprint for album number five that would never quite be capitalised on. Heading over to CD2, ‘Situations’ is powered by a synthesised Eastern motif and ponders the ‘lonely minds’ and ‘vacant stares’ typical of Anderson’s lyrics of the time. While slightly over long, it would have worked on ‘Head Music’ had it been the more darker record the band initially promised, and even to these ears sounds somewhat influential on final Suede single (at the time), 2003’s ‘Attitude’. The very final B-side of this era is the brilliant and biting ‘Read My Mind’. As with ‘Crackhead’, it reveals a starker, harsher sound complimented by the blank words defining a phase of depression, most likely revealing the way the writer was feeling at the time. The chorus harmonies add to the relentlessness of the piece and once it’s over, you’re honestly left wanting more.

So these B-sides make up the lost record of 1999 whilst also pointing towards Suede’s final record of their first run. The rockier record that Osman hinted at was surely influenced by the likes of ‘Bored’, ‘Crackhead’ and ‘Read My Mind’, whilst the likes of ‘Let Go’, ‘Leaving’ and ‘Since You Went Away’ were very definitely influences on what eventually did surface. The folklore of early Suede and the B-sides compilation ‘Sci Fi Lullabies’ would lead the casual observer to believe that the band had peaked creatively to the point that post-1997 B-sides would not be worth investigating, however I believe differently and now, thanks to the reissues of ‘Head Music’, these can now be easily accessed for wider reappraisal.

[1994sunflower]

I know how possessive you’ve made Mikey in Heaven but a really cool idea from ‘why do you want him (Ashton) to join us?’ In Part 1 But you could do it where the boys are getting high and Ashton’s depressed because he can’t find anyone or he’s been dumped and talks about how he hasn’t had sex in a looooong time so Mike’s like ‘for fucks sake’ and suggests Y/N helping him out (only if she wants to) and Mikey sits and watches and dictates what happens and oh boy😰 JUST IMAGINE

uMM thank you for making me imagine this.....this was literally so hot to write. like i know michael would only let it happen if he knew for sure he would be 100% in charge even if he was just watching which makes it all the more hot to think about. 

thank you so much for this prompt! hope you like it.

in which Michael shares you

Smoke billowed out throughout the small living room. The smell of marijuana was especially uncomfortable for you and you hadn’t been around it enough to fully get used to it. Michael didn’t smoke it often and when he did, you usually made excuses to not be around.

But this time, you’d been apart for a few weeks and you were willing to do pretty much anything to be by his side. And by his side, you were. Your small frame was snuggled into his side as his sitting form slouched back on the couch, his arm wrapped around you, his hand resting on your ass lazily.

He was wearing a white tank, his tattoos on his arms and shoulders on full view, and blue jeans, three silver chains dangled from his neck. He seemed relaxed and you bit your lip as you watched him smile down at you with hazy eyes. The fumes might’ve started getting to you because a pit of desire formed in you. But you pushed it away.

Michael put the blunt against his lips again and you could see his already far away look get even more distant. They were just slightly bloodshot, red lining the whites of his eyes. He had an idle smile on his face, amused at nothing.

Ashton, however, was anything but amused. He sat on the other side of the couch, on the curve so he was facing you two directly. He had to get up every so often to grab the joint from Michael. Right now, it was in his hands. After a particularly harsh exhale, his entire face was hidden in smoke.

“I’m telling you, I’m never going to find love.” He was droning on about his failed love life as he had been for the last hour or so. The one girl he had liked enough to actually stick around had just dumped him and he was crushed. Well, as crushed as a guy that only knew her for two months could be. But still, it was the closest thing he’s had to a girlfriend in a long time.

Ashton was a sweet guy but he was a lot like Michael in the sense that he’d prefer to smash and dash. Mostly because he couldn’t think of a girl who he genuinely would like to have around for anything more than to just get off. He wasn’t trying to be insensitive but he always believed in not looking for a girlfriend. If the right one came around, he would know. So far, the right one had not come around.

He thought she did, for a second there. The tall volleyball player that he had hooked up with a few months prior had made a good case for herself. She was funny, down to earth and seemed to be a perfect match for him. She didn’t try to leave immediately after having sex with him and that just proved to be a sign that she wanted more.

And she did, in her defense. For a while. Until she got tired of being monogamous and decided to break it off with him. Leaving Ashton in an undeniable funk. He’d been trying to get out, trying to find sex to distract him but he couldn’t even get that. His game was off, he was thinking to much of his ex, if you could even really call her that. Hell, he hadn’t even been playing his video games as much as he used to. It was getting bad.

“Is love even real?” Ashton waved the blunt around, taking one final drag before passing it back to Michael. He held the smoke in his mouth for a while, “Maybe I’m cursed or something. Haven’t even gotten laid for months, I’m talking literal months. Hell, maybe it’s been a year. I’m fucking blue balled.”

You had been listening with fake interest for a while, he was really letting out his heart and you didn’t want to be rude or hurt his feelings. You felt bad for the guy, he was such a good guy. You always found Ashton to be really cute so you didn’t really understand his lack of luck.

Michael, for his part, was just tired of hearing his friend talk. Even with the buzz, the giddiness and relaxation, the blunt in his hands gave him, it couldn’t completely erase Michael’s pension for anger.

It had to be the marijuana messing with his mind, putting thoughts there that would never have been there otherwise. But all Ashton needed to was to get laid in order to get his magic touch back. Then he would be back to his normal self, hooking up with multiple girls a week and being happy instead of moping around all the time. He wanted his friend to be back to his normal self. His high and the thought of the idea that had popped into his head, had him already getting hard.

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Michael groaned out, startling your eyes up to him. He had been silent until now. Michael nudged you, making you look up to him quizzically but his gaze was firm on Ashton’s, even as he spoke to you. “Why don’t you help him out, little one.”

You blinked, afraid that you misheard him. You must’ve, right? The Michael you knew would never share you with anyone. Even his best friend. He was deeply possessive and just the thought of you with someone else was often enough to set him off. But here he was, suggesting it.

Ashton too, stared at him with a slacked jaw. “What?”

Your eyes met Ashton’s and a heat spread through your body. You couldn’t deny he was hot and the thoughts the rushed through your brain of him were nothing short of dirty. You’d never thought about him in that way before, he was only ever just your friend, but it was surprisingly easy once you thought about it. He was kind, funny and someone you trusted, someone Michael trusted.

Michael shrugged easily. “Just once. If it’ll stop you from crying about not getting laid like a fucking pussy, why not? Might get you out of your rut. If Y/N’s up for it.”

It was weird logic but it strangely made sense. So you pushed yourself up to a sitting position, your legs swinging. You nodded, biting your lower lip in loosely concealed anticipation. You would just be helping him, it was for his sake more than it was for you. But it was hard to hide the way your rubbed your thighs together as you got wetter with just the thought of what was to come.

Ashton still seemed out of it, caught off guard when he nodded right along side you. “O-okay. I mean…if you’re saying we can…”

It was dangerous territory, when it came to you, Michael could be lethal. But Michael nodded slowly, pushing your back just enough for you to know to stand up.

Your steps were hesitant and small as you made your way over to a wide eyed Ashton. You weren’t inexperienced anymore when it came to sex, Michael had seen to it. But that didn’t stop the nerves that were building up inside you. Michael was still the only man you’d ever been with and you were worried it would be too different with anyone other than him.

But it seemed like, every step closer to Ashton, somehow raised your confidence just by a bit. Maybe it was the pure disbelief in his eyes, like he couldn’t believe he would actually be able to have you, even just for a day, or maybe it was his already hard dick, standing in alert in his basketball shorts. But by the time you sunk to your knees in front of him, you had a big smile on your face.

Michael watched you shiftlessly. He brought the joint to his lips again, knowing he’d be the only one to be using it from then on. Never did he think he would find pleasure of watching you with another man. But as he watched you slowly peel away Ashton’s shorts and boxers, saw the way Ashton fidgeted nervously and excitedly with his movements much more rapid than yours, he rubbed himself over his jeans. It turned him on to see Ashton throw his head back at just the sight and feeling of your small hands wrapping themselves around his hard dick and your innocent smile shooting up to him. A surge of pride swelled through him because it was his girl that was making Ashton so weak.

Your hands took a hold of Ashton’s cock delicately, looking up at him through your eyelashes. Hearing him groan already just as your face moved closer to his length, you shot up a cute smile. It really had been a while if he was reacting like that just by your touch, or maybe it was just the situation that amplified all the pleasure. You would understand that as you felt like your panties were stuck to you due to the pooling wetness between your legs.

Your heart was thumping in your chest as you leaned forward, taking your boyfriend’s best friend’s cock in your mouth. You felt Ashton’s hands go straight to your hair, groaning. He couldn’t believe this was happening and neither could you.

You licked the slit at the head of his cock, making his hips buck involuntarily. Bobbing your head up and down on his length, you moaned against him, knowing just what the vibrations would do to him. Your tongue was flat against him and every time you pulled your mouth away, your hands were right there, moving circularly as you stroked him. Just like Michael liked it.

“Oh my…fuck.” Ashton’s words were like music to your ears.

You mouth moved faster and you glanced up at him to already find him staring down at you, his mouth open. When your eyes met, his eyes shut at the pleasure of it all. He never considered himself to have the same tastes as Michael. But as he saw you there, leaning forward so that your ass was sticking out behind you, his dick in your mouth, but with still the most innocent eyes he had ever seen, he couldn’t help but understand what Michael had seen in you. It was hot, to see you still have that good girl appearance while simultaneously doing something so filthy. A sick desire to make you cry for him overtook him, to rid you of any semblance of purity as he did the dirtiest things he could imagine to you.

You pushed yourself deeper onto him, your mouth taking his entire length until the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat. You pulled away, breathless, watching his spit covered dick before you did it again. You repeated this until Ashton accidentally thrusted into your mouth, making you gag and pull your mouth off of him in a hurry.

“Watch it.” Michael growled from behind you, to which Ashton nodded rapidly.

“S-sorry.”

But it didn’t deter you. In fact, you went right back to put him in your mouth, like you craved it. Having his room right next to Michael meant he overheard a lot. One of the things he heard that he never quite understood was Michael calling you a whore. Before, he never understood why. You were a good girl. But as he watched you giggle as you sucked his dick like a lollipop, popping him out of your mouth, before going back to taking his entire length in your throat, he understood. You were a cock hungry slut.

Your ass was facing Michael directly. Michael, who had freed his cock from his jeans and was stroking it freely at the sight in front of him. At the sight of his girlfriend deepthroating his best friend. His hips bucked up to his hands. This was so much hotter than he could’ve imagined.

“Pull her hair.” He commanded Ashton, knowing exactly what you liked.

Ashton looked hesitant at first before following Michael’s guidance. His fingers gather your hair before pulling, gently at first and then harder when he heard (or felt, rather) your delighted moan.

The sight in front of him made Michael giddy. The way he felt in control as he watched his own personal porn video was a feeling he could get addicted to. His hand stroked his dick faster as you gagged deliciously around Ashton’s cock. He loved those sounds and he loved the view he had of your ass displayed so willingly to him.

“That’s enough, baby girl.” He called out and felt a sick satisfaction when you immediately obeyed him, pulling your mouth away to look back at him, your hand still stroking Ashton’s wet dick at an even pace. He saw the way Ashton’s face was contorted, how close he was to his finish but he wanted to show you off just a bit more before everything came to an end. “Let’s show him just how good your pussy is.”

Both he and Ashton watched as you stood up, letting your miniskirt (which wasn’t doing much to cover you anyway) and panties drop to the floor, your shirt and bra joined them not long after as your tits bounced when freed.

Ashton’s mouth hung open, his eyes trailing your perfect body. Michael groaned himself, feeling the primal need to go to you, to fuck you, to mark you as his. But he refrained. No, he wanted Ashton to experience you, to make him see what Michael had that he didn’t.

So, as Ashton pulled his own t-shirt over his head, you turned back to Michael, waiting for instructions like the obedient whore you were. Michael nodded in permission to you, “Go ahead, ride him.”

To which you smiled, nodding. The thought of you having sex with Ashton didn’t bother him nearly as much as it should have. Maybe it would if he was completely sober. Instead, the thought of seeing his girl show off her body and everything Michael had taught you made his already hard dick painfully harder.

Ashton slouched back on the couch, giving you room to set your legs on each side of his body. He was holding his breath, still in awe that this was actually happening. He was really going to fuck his best friend’s girl.

Slowly, you lowered yourself onto Ashton, moaning when you felt him enter you and gasping out entirely when you bottomed out, taking him in completely. Your hands were on his shoulders and your thighs touched his. He wasn’t as big as Michael was but it felt good nonetheless.

Ashton groaned, grabbing your hips as he felt your tightness. You were the tightest pussy he’s fucked, which was weird considering how many times he knew you and Michael had sex. But he didn’t think much on it, just enjoyed the feeling of your walls hugging him. His hold on your hips were more to help you move but you were the one who controlled the pace and he was happy to let you, knowing that he was lucky this was even happening in the first place.

He wasn’t going to press his luck by fucking up into you suddenly like he wanted. He knew everything that was happening was going to be dictated by Michael; his orders and his permission.

“Oh my God.” You moaned.

Your pace wasn’t slow or fast but as you got into it, as the thought of Michael, your boyfriend, watching you fuck Ashton really processed in your mind, you began to move faster. Your moans became quicker and more desperate. The feeling of Ashton’s cock going in and out of you and the taboo of the situation was making you feel frenzied.

“That’s right, go faster. Show him what a good girl you can be.” Michael’s voice was level but his hand was stroking himself quicker. “You like letting Ashton fuck you while your boyfriend watches?”

It was too much. Everything was too hot. You nodded, closing your eyes as your head was thrown back in ecstasy, “Yes…yes. Fuck, I do, daddy.”

It wasn’t directed to him. Ashton knew that. But it was so hot.

“Good, enjoy it because it won’t happen again.”

Your face completely overwhelmed with pleasure, the sound of skin slapping as his balls hit your ass with how deep his cock was driving into you. It was like an overload to his system and he couldn’t help but thrust up into you, fast and rough.

The way you screamed out when he did so indicated just how much you liked it. When you screamed out his name, he nearly came right then and there. His grip on your hips tightened as he watched your face when his thrusts became more punctuated. Moaning, he shifted his hips at an angle, to get to the one spot he knew would make you weak.

Michael watched intently at the two moaning figures in front of him. The way he was able to control the two of you did wonders for him. In fact, as he watched Ashton’s face contort in pleasure and watch the way you pussy stretched to engulf his dick, it was one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen. He joked about letting Ashton fuck you or join the two of you every so often but the real thing was better than he could possibly imagine. He was sure he wouldn’t last long as he watched you desperately hump his friend.

Michael spit on his palm before going back to work on his dick. He could hear the sound of your wetness as Ashton’s dick drove into you. He wasn’t sure what was doing it more for him: the actual visual of what was currently happening, the fact that all of you knew he was still in charge even if he was just watching or the sounds of your beautiful moans.

He watched your bare body move up and down expertly, your breasts bouncing with you temptingly. He felt his mouth start to water.

Ashton was entranced as well. His hands reached up but stopped just short of touching you. His eyes traveled to Michael quickly, just catching his singular nod before he took your tits in his hands, squeezing them as you closed your eyes at the feeling.

“Choke her.” Michael called out to Ashton. It was what he wanted to do himself, he wanted to get up and choke you, slap you and call you what you were: his bitch.

But he let Ashton have his moment. He wouldn’t let him do everything Michael would do, he couldn’t possibly let him degrade you in that form. But he could give a little to make his friend happy.

And boy did it make him happy. Ashton’s hands went up to your neck immediately, choking you enjoyably. You couldn’t appreciate his hands like you could Michael’s. They were bare, devoid of tattoos and it made it seem like it was missing something. But they did the job nevertheless. The pleasure of him fucking you was amplified tenfold when part of your oxygen was cut off. You felt it tingling your fingers, your head, your feet. In fact, you were almost shaking when he wrapped his free arm around your waist, holding you still.

Michael was moaning out loud, watching. His hips thrusted desperately against his own hand, watching you get pleasured. “Fuck her like she’s a toy. She likes that, don’t you? You dirty fucking slut.”

With Michael’s permission, he thrusted into you at his pace. It was a bruising pace, one where he only had one goal and that was to get himself off and find his release. Somehow, the knowledge that he saw you and was treating you like just a warm pussy he was using made you feverish with lust. It was so wrong but you’d never wanted Ashton as much as you did in that moment. You wanted to prove to him that you could get him to where he wanted and make Michael proud that his girl was the one to do it.

“Fuck, that’s good, Y/N.” Ashton grunted, his face hard as he focused entirely on you and the pleasure. He couldn’t believe just how good you were at this.

So when you clenched your walls around his cock and began moving yourself against him, stopping every so often to grind onto him, you were panting wildly, feverishly.

“You’re cock’s so good, Ash. Fuck me harder.” You leaned down so your face was directly next to his.

Ashton’s eyes widened, looking over your shoulder to watch Michael, who was still jacking off. You’d gotten your dirty mouth from Michael. And Michael’s grin was enough to prove it.

Ashton watched your face as his thrusts got rougher, “You like that?”

At your silent nod, Ashton’s hand pressed harder around your throat, his other going down to your inner thighs and slapping them roughly. But it just made your arch your back and moan louder. Making Ashton wonder just what Michael had done to you to make you go from a quiet virgin to this.

With your face so close, Ashton had instinctively moved to kiss you, to press his lips against your softer, fuller ones. But he was stopped cold by Michael’s warningly low voice.

“You can’t kiss her.” His eyes were glaring and Ashton didn’t dare to try to challenge him on it.

Ironically, it was too intimate. While Michael didn’t mind you having sex with Ashton, knowing it would mean nothing, knowing you would always come back to him, Michael knew kissing was something that signified more to you. And so, he was the only one that could kiss you. No one else.

Ashton’s hands let go of your neck and instead went up to gather your hair again. He pulled at your hair, harder and harder, watching your face with as it evolve further in pleasure.

When you came around him, he felt you shake against his arms, your pussy closing in around him at each spasm. It was an intense orgasm and he was sure it was because of lurid situation. Michael groaned behind you, hips stuttering against his hand, cumming all over his hands and stomach. The sight of the love of his life cumming around Ashton’s cock set him off. Even when apart, you both came together in unison, you were so in sync with each other.

You clenched around him one more time before he groaned out, “I’m gonna cum.” He looked up at you as you kept riding him as if you didn’t care that you were overstimulating yourself (which you didn’t, all you wanted was to please Ashton and make Michael proud) and then to Michael helplessly.

Michael shook his head, “Don’t cum inside her.” That was only for him.

So Ashton nodded, obediently, something Michael was surprised pleased him as much as it did; Even the man his who just finished fucking his girlfriend knew who was in charge.

Ashton picked your small frame up, off of his dick and next to him on the couch. Instead, he pumped himself a few times before the strings of his cum erupted onto the black couch he was sitting on. He creamed all over the seat and couch’s backboard, groaning loudly as he did so, “Shit, Y/N.”

You giggled delightedly next to him, your legs spread as you laid on your back, fucked out. You had no energy to stand up or even move much. Your cum was slowly trickling out of your used pussy.

Michael smirked, tucking himself back in his pants. “How did my girl feel?”

Ashton looked at him in wonder, “She was absolutely fucking amazing, holy fuck. She’s so tight.”

You felt a deep set happiness at the prideful glint in Michael’s eyes when he looked over your naked and glistening body next to his best friend.

“I know.”

You watched Ashton with sleepy eyes, “Feel better?”

Ashton had forgotten all about what he had been talking about before everything. So he laughed when he remembered. “Hell yeah I do. I can’t believe that just happened.”

Michael stood up to his towering height and handed Ashton the blunt that he had put out a while ago. He went to the fridge to get a beer, patting Ashton’s shoulder on his way.

“No problem dude, if it got you to stop whining.”

You took a hold of Ashton’s hand soothingly, “Anything for you, Ash.”

[cocastyle]

The In-Between - Prologue

Stranger Things x It Crossover

with some Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 3,967

Warning - cursing? (if people don’t like that kind of stuff), some Stranger Things Season 3 spoilers? (don’t know if they would still be spoilers or not)

A/N - this is officially the beginning of my The In-Between series! I’m so excited to get this thing started and wanted to have a prologue so you could see how Y/N meets the Losers’ Club and what her relationship with The Party is like.

reminder that this series will take place in 1987 where the kids are all 17. however, in this prologue, the year is 1985 which means they are all 15 and the events of Stranger Things season 3 just occurred (I switched some things up like I’m not having Hopper die that way Eleven and Will stay in Hawkins).

since the year is 1985, that means the events of It are going to have taken place the year before in 1984. to have Beverly in the group, I basically had her move back with her aunt in the earlier half of 1985 and her and Bill have decided to stay friends (this allows the Bill Denbrough x reader part of the series). anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

also, since Mike Hanlon is homeschooled, he will not be in this prologue. Y/N meets the Losers’ Club at school which is why he will not be mentioned at first. he will be in upcoming chapters though!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

T H E I N - B E T W E E N

Intro The Losers’ Club The Party Prologue 1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Epilogue

August 1985

Hawkins, Indiana, the one place Y/N thought she would stay forever. Having been born and raised in the town, it was hard to imagine a life where she didn't live there. But then the events that had taken place during the summer of 1985 had occurred and the unimaginable suddenly became reality.

Fright was the main reason they were moving. Not that Y/N was scared or anything. It was her parents who were scared, scared that the unusual events that occurred in Hawkins would harm their family and ruin their lives.

After all, their daughter had barely been able to escape the forces of the Upside Down the previous couple of times, so when she came home with blood stained clothes and news of the death of Billy Hargrove, her parents were convinced that the only thing they could do was move away.

Y/N did not agree with her parents' decision in any way, shape, or form. Her life was in Hawkins. Her friends were in Hawkins.

Her family was in Hawkins.

However, her parents' minds were already made up and within two weeks their house was already sold and they were packing up their final things as they prepared for the journey to their new home in Derry, Maine.

The sky was filled with grey clouds on the day Y/N was supposed to leave Hawkins, a gloomy atmosphere falling over the town as if it could sense the girl was leaving and was genuinely upset about it. Y/N hardly noticed the weather seeing as her own gloominess was worse than that outside.

She almost didn't want to put the last of her things into the giant cardboard box that sat on the floor in front of her. Everything was already out of her room, leaving it so barren that she felt as if she were in a completely different place.

The only thing left had been her pictures that had decorated the walls with her memories throughout the years. It physically pained her when she had to take down the last picture—one of her with all of her friends where they were all laughing and looking at each other instead of the camera.

Now she held fast onto that picture, her hands shaking as she looked down at it with an almost longing expression on her face. Knowing it would only hurt more the longer she took, Y/N quickly looked away and set the picture in the box before closing it up. She only let out a shaky breath when the deed was done.

Y/N then picked up the box that held the last pieces of her life and began to make her way to her bedroom door. It was when she was about to grab onto the door handle that the door suddenly slammed shut, causing her to jump back in surprise. She hesitated for a second before going to open the door. However, it quickly slammed shut again before it was even half way opened.

This continued for a few more tries before Y/N let out a small sigh and turned to look behind her where her friends were all sitting on the floor looking upset. Her eyes flickered over the group that liked to call themselves 'The Party' and she stopped on Jane Hopper, otherwise known as Eleven, who had blood trickling from her nose.

The young girl wiped the blood away and stared at Y/N with wide eyes as she tried to act innocent. Y/N gave the girl a sad smile before looking around at her other friends who were all visibly upset. "I have to go," Y/N announced, the words earning a few head drops and shakes of heads.

Y/N kept her eyes on Eleven as she went to open the door again. "I have to go," she repeated as she began to pull the door open. However, Eleven wasn't having it and quickly shook her head and slammed the door shut again with her abilities.

Y/N let out a small sigh and dropped her head slightly. This was just as hard on her as it was on them. "El-" she began in a whisper, but before she could even get the words out, Eleven had jumped onto her feet and was throwing her arms around her.

The cardboard box fell from her grip and onto the floor and Y/N silently thanked herself for having only put pictures and posters in there. Her arms were quick to wrap around her friend while she dug her face into Eleven's shoulder, tears filling her eyes as she realized this was pretty much going to be their goodbye.

"Don't go," Eleven whimpered. "Please, don't go."

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and tears rolled down her face as she hugged Eleven harder. Her body began to shake as she started to cry, but she hardly noticed it because Eleven had begun to cry as well. Arms began to wrap around the two and Y/N looked up slightly to see that her other friends—Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers, and Max Mayfield— had all joined in on the hug.

Y/N closed her eyes again and leaned into her friends' embraces, trying to enjoy this moment where she was with them. She didn't know when she was going to be able to see them next, but she knew she would never lose them. They had been through too much to allow that to happen.

It took a minute, but Y/N eventually got them all to let go so that she could look at them. They didn't mean to, but they had ended up forming a small circle and Y/N looked around at each of her friends before letting out a shaky laugh.

"I love you all, you know that, right?" she whispered. The Party was quick to nod their heads and Y/N smiled softly. "Good. Never forget it."

There was a silence before Y/N said, "You all stick together and take care of each other, okay? And if you all are ever in any sort of trouble, you get Dustin on his radio and have him contact me, okay? Cause you can bet your ass I'll be back here in a heartbeat."

"We don't doubt it for a minute," Max replied, the others all nodding their heads in agreement.

"I know you're going to Maine, but if anything happens and you need us, just know the same thing applies. We've got your back," the young Wheeler boy said.

"Got it, Wheeler," Y/N said with a small smile as she sniffled and wiped away her tears.

"Y/N! It's time to go!"

A look of dread washed on each of the kids' faces and Y/N reached down to pick up the box she had dropped before saying, "That's my cue."

The group was silent, but when Y/N opened the door that time, no one stopped her. Together, the Party all walked out of the girl's bedroom and made their way outside where Y/N's parents were waiting by their car.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion when she saw someone talking to them, but her eyes instantly lit up once she recognized the person to be Steve Harrington. His parents and Y/N's parents had been close in college, so Steve and Y/N had practically grown up together despite the five year age gap between the two. He was like the older brother she never had and it was only in that moment that she realized saying goodbye to him was probably going to be the hardest goodbye she would have to face.

Trying not to dwell on the fact, Y/N smiled and called out, "Harrington, is that you?"

Steve instantly perked up at the sound of her voice and muttered something to her parents before looking over at the girl, taking his sunglasses off in the process. "Yeah, it's me. Don't cream your pants," Steve jokingly told her.

Y/N chuckled and walked over to where he stood by the car before quickly putting the box she was carrying in the back seat. She glanced over at her parents and gave them a sad smile before asking, "Can I have a moment to say goodbye?" Her parents nodded and began to get in the car, but not before her father nodded at Steve and her mother patted him on the shoulder.

Once the car doors had closed, Y/N hesitated for a moment before turning her head to look at Steve. He was already looking at her with an unreadable expression while his hands were placed on his hips. He stood there in silence before saying, "The day is finally here."

Y/N's smile disappeared and she looked down at her feet as she nodded. Steve titled his head slightly and watched her for a second before reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, squirt. You're going to do great things, okay? Hawkins. . .all it's doing is holding you back," he told her.

"I'm moving to Maine," Y/N pointed out as she gave Steve a look that told him all he needed to know.

"You never know, maybe Maine is going to have just what you're looking for," Steve said as he gave her shoulder a light shake.

Y/N looked over her shoulder and at her friends who were all standing at the bottom of the staircase watching her with sad eyes. They gave her shaky smiles which she returned before looking back at Steve. She studied him in silence for a moment before lightly shaking her head as she stared at him fondly. "I don't think so," she told him, knowing that Maine would never be able to replace the people she loved so dearly.

Steve flinched slightly at her words and his face contorted in pain for a second as he looked as if he were about to cry. However, it quickly disappeared and he inhaled sharply as he tried to put on a brave face for the girl in front of him.

"Okay, L/N, serious talk right now, okay? I know this whole move is tough on you. Trust me when I say it's going to be tough on all of us. But you got to make the most of it, you hear? You go to Maine and you show those shit heads just who the hell moved to their town," Steve told her. He then reached out and poked her shoulder as he pointed at her. "Cause they have no idea how lucky they are to have you."

The tears that she had been trying to suppress since she walked outside began to fill her eyes and she couldn't stop herself from launching herself into Steve's arms as she started to cry. Her grip was tight and she balled her hand into fists around his shirt as she tucked her face into his neck.

Steve stumbled back slightly, but didn't hesitate to hug her back as he felt tears began to fill his eyes. He was going to miss her a hell of a lot more than he thought he would. She was practically his sister and one of his best friends. Age had never mattered to them, only the friendship they created had.

So the fact that he was going to have to go through a good chunk of his life without her? Yeah, it was going to be hell.

Y/N tucked Steve's shoulder under her chin as she hugged him and let her eyes flicker over to her friends who were all watching the two with tears in their eyes.

Max was leaning against Lucas who had an arm around her as both struggled to keep it together. Then there was Eleven who was holding hands with Wheeler as she hugged his arm with tears streaming down her face, Wheeler looking pretty much in the same state. Finally there was Dustin who had a hand on Will's shoulder as the two looked to each other for support seeing as the couples were busy comforting each other.

Steve eventually pulled away from the young girl, knowing that it would only be harder on both of them if they didn't end the hug now. He used his shirt to wipe his tears away before he gave Y/N a shaky smile and reached out to swiftly wipe her tears away with his thumbs.

"You'll be okay," Steve assured her. "You're going to be just fine."

Y/N gave the boy a smile, her lips quivering slightly as she forced herself to hold back a sob. "I love you, Harrington," she whispered as she stared at the boy in admiration.

Steve softened slightly at those words and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. "I love you too, squirt," he told her.

Then, before either of them could start crying, Y/N went over to the car door and opened it up. She hesitated and turned to look back at all of her friends, her eyes scanning over each of them. It was in that moment that she realized just how much she was going to miss them.

She was going to miss Lucas who had been her first friend back in elementary school and the one who had introduced her to the other members of the Party. She would miss Wheeler and the times they would spend in the record shop looking for the right music to play at the karaoke nights they hosted for the group.

She would miss Dustin and being able to talk science with him as they worked on creating their high-range radio from scratch. She would miss Will and playing D&D together when no one else would play.

She would miss Eleven and how the two would have sleepovers and stay up all night giggling before making Eggo waffles in the morning. She would miss Max and the girls days they would have at the mall as they tried every flavor possible at Scoops Ahoy.

And she would miss Steve and the moments she knew would never get to happen. She would miss the times when they would have contests to see who could eat the most ice cream without puking and when they would team up and pull pranks on the others.

She would miss the arcade trips, the late night adventures they would have, and the times they spent together. She would miss each of them. She would miss their friendships. She would miss her family.

Y/N knew they were all thinking the same thing just from the tears that were in their eyes. Steve was the first to raise a hand and wave goodbye, everyone else quickly following suit. She let out a breathy laugh before waving back.

Then, with a heavy heart, Y/N stepped into the car and closed the door. She had just buckled up when the car began to pull away and she was quick to look out the back window at her house and her friends who were all walking out into the middle of the road to watch her go.

Her father glanced back at her in the rear view mirror, but she didn't notice, her attention on her friends who were getting further and further away. As for her mother, she grabbed ahold of her father's hand and kissed it lovingly before saying in an almost excited and slightly saddened voice, "Goodbye Hawkins, Indiana. Hello Derry, Maine."

Y/N didn't look away until her friends' figures had disappeared in the distance.

- - -

"I'm bored," Richie Tozier announced for what had to be the tenth time in the last five minutes. He looked between his friends who were all obviously ignoring him as they ate their lunch and tried to talk about other things. He momentarily saw Beverly Marsh glance his way, but she looked away and turned her attention back to Ben.

Richie had been surprised when Beverly moved back to Derry with her aunt only a year after moving away. But what had surprised him even more was that Bill and Beverly had decided they were better off as friends and Beverly had since grown closer to Ben of all people.

Richie shook away his thoughts and let out a loud sigh before he turned to Eddie Kaspbrak who was sitting beside him. "Eds," Richie whispered. When Eddie didn't respond, the boy poked him not so lightly in the arm. "Pssst. Eds, I'm bored," Richie whispered.

Eddie clenched his jaw and gave the boy a sharp look. "I know. I've heard you the other twenty times you've said it. And don't call me Eds," he said.

"Fine, Eddie Spaghetti," Richie told him with a small smirk. "But it's not my fault I'm bored. It's this shitty town! There is literally nothing to do around here!"

"Weren't you just complaining the other day about how you felt like you never had time to just do nothing?" Stanley Uris asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked at his friend.

"That was the other day, this is now!" Richie exclaimed. "And right now, I'm bored."

"S-s-shut up, Richie," Bill Denbrough muttered in annoyance as he stared blankly at the ham sandwich in his hands.

Richie rolled his eyes and let out a groan as he smacked his head against the table. "But I'm so-"

Before Richie could get that sentence out, the noise in the cafeteria virtually disappeared causing the boy to stop mid sentence. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up before following everyone's gaze to where the cafeteria doors had just opened up. His mouth dropped open a little and the others all looked to their friend confused as to why he had actually shut up for once.

Seeing his shocked state, the group followed his gaze and their eyes landed on a girl around their age who had just walked into the cafeteria. Her eyes were wide due to the sudden attention and Bill could see the small blush creeping onto her cheeks as she nervously brushed a strand of h/c hair behind her ear.

Bill blinked in surprise as he stared at her, instantly stunned by her beauty just like all the other kids were. He could practically sense the jealously radiating off of all the girls except for Beverly and the boys were practically drooling at the sight of her.

The girl then began to walk forward and her shoes clicking against the ground seemed to echo throughout the whole cafeteria. It was only when she had taken a few steps that everyone seemed to snap out of their spell and go back to whatever they were doing. Well, everyone except for the Losers’ Club.

"Who is that?" Ben Hanscom asked, none of the boys taking their eyes off of the girl while Beverly just shook her head and laughed quietly to herself.

"She must be that new girl I heard Jane Greenwood talking about in math class," Eddie suggested.

"You knew there was a new girl and didn't tell me?" Richie asked as he looked at his friend in shock. "Come on, man. I could've been working my Richie charm on her already."

"Yeah, you won't be doing that," Beverly Marsh told him as she rolled her eyes at the boy. "Let the poor girl have a chance to breathe before you annoy her to death."

Richie made a face at Beverly which Bill barely noticed for he was too busy watching Y/N who was trying to find a seat. He watched as she attempted to sit down at a few tables, but each one either had girls that were too jealous of her to let her sit there or guys that were too stuck up to allow a girl to sit with them. It was only when he saw her passing their table without even trying that Bill called out to her.

"You can s-s-sit with us."

The Losers’ Club all froze and glanced over at Bill in surprise while the young girl paused in her tracks and turned to look at who had talked to her. Her eyes locked with Bill's and she gave him a breathtaking smile that had him blushing a little under her gaze.

"Thanks," she said as she walked over to the only empty seat that happened to be in between Bill and Richie. "Seriously, thank you. I was afraid I would have to sit by the trash cans. It's kind of hard trying to find a seat when you're new and know literally no one."

She was rambling a little, but Bill couldn't help but smile as she talked. "N-n-no problem. I-I-I'm Bill. B-B-Bill Denbrough," he introduced himself, stuttering a little more than usual due to the fact that a pretty girl was sitting next to him. He then gave the rest of the group looks that told them to introduce themselves as well.

"Beverly Marsh."

"Ben Hanscom."

"Eddie Kaspbrak."

"Stanley Uris, but people call me Stan."

"Richie Tozier, but you can call me the man of your dreams."

"Don't call him that," Beverly instantly said as she sent a small glare towards Richie. However, the girl had turned her gaze on Richie and was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Look guys. I'm so handsome she can't even speak," Richie smirked, but it disappeared when the girl poked his cheek and moved his face so she could look at him better.

"Incredible," she whispered. "You look exactly like one of my friends back home! You two could be twins!"

Richie frowned at that and muttered, "There is no one like me, but me!"

The girl just shook her head in amazement and stared at Richie for a moment longer before looking away with a blink of her eyes and looking to the rest of the group. "Sorry. I'm Y/N L/N," she introduced herself.

"Where did you move from?" Ben asked while Richie sat muttering something about he was unique and there was no one someone looked like him.

Y/N's smile made Bill's heart flutter a little and he mentally cursed himself for being affected by her smile when he had just met her. "Hawkins, Indiana," she replied.

"Hawkins?" Stan questioned as he scrunched up his nose. He then shrugged and looked down at his food before saying, "Never heard of it."

"Most people haven't," Y/N chuckled. "Which is probably a good thing now that I think about it."

"Why's t-t-that?" Bill asked, genuinely curious.

Y/N let out a nervous laugh as she almost seemed to be recalling some memory, "It can be a pretty weird place."

"Well you obviously haven't been in Derry long," Eddie muttered.

"Trust me. Nothing can be weirder than Hawkins," Y/N assured them. "It's like a shit show on steroids."

Richie rolled his eyes. "Trust me. Derry can and is," Richie argued.

Y/N raised an eyebrow as the corner of her lips turned up in a small smirk. "Want to bet?" she asked as if she knew something they didn't.

Richie glanced at his friends and Bill chuckled softly to himself knowing that nothing could beat what they had been through. It wouldn't be until after Y/N explained her whole story that he would realize he was wrong.

"You sure you want to do this, L/N?" Richie asked. "We wouldn't want to scare you away."

Y/N smirked and set her backpack on the ground and her lunchbox on the table.

"Try me, Tozier."

* * *

Tag List-

@witch-of-all-things-soft

@nightbu-g

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter 8 - Ghost

Guess who’s stalking Bella again? Did you guess dumbass Edward? If so, go get yourself a cookie bc you earned it.

He straight up calls Bella the object of his obsession right out of the gate. He also says ‘love’ but I don’t buy it. This is still not love and nothing he does is going to convince me otherwise. 

It’s sunny in Forks, so the Cullens are making themselves scarce in order to avoid the humans finding out about their sparkle skin. And despite the fact that everyone makes a big deal out of the sparkle skin, can we talk for a second about the fact that, in the series proper at least, it never really matters after that initial reveal (which I can not WAIT to get to in this book to hear all about how angsty Eddie feels about his body glitter). But seriously. The big reveal in the meadow harps on it, but then it is rarely brought up again, and not at all in times when it would matter. The big ‘climax’ (insomuch as it is) in New Moon is about Eddie exposing his body glitter to the people in Italy, but right before that, Alice and Bella get on a plane to go stop him and Alice isn’t causing a full on disco party in the cabin. It is, at best, an inconsequencial plot point strictly for the first book (and this one, as it’s companion piece) and very rarely ever brought up again. 

That was a tangent, moving on.

Moving on to shitting on Mike Newton again, apparently. Eddie (And Bella in her own book) just can not leave this poor boy alone. Literally all he ever did was have a crush on a girl.

I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree

Jesus, Eddie. Like, for one thing, I’m glad you can’t expose your sparkle skin, otherwise I might worry about poor Mike’s head. But that poor tree didn’t deserve your ire. It honestly is so scary tho, just how fucking strong SM made these vamps, combined with Eddie’s clearly violent tendencies and quick temper. 

to steal her away from the boy that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it.

There are two things extremely wrong here. I probably don’t even need to point them out to you, but I’m gonna anyway, because we all surely know how much I love my rants at this point. 

1) He literally just said he could kill Mike and enjoy it. He would be happy to murder this poor, innocent teenage boy who’s only crime is having a crush on a girl that Eddie also likes. Think for a second about the fact that Eddie has had all of four conversations with Bella at this point, and has been extremely nasty and condescending to her during at least three of them, up to and including outright laughing at her. But Mike is the one that deserves outright murder. 

2) He wants to steal her away. Literally Edward is talking about kidnapping Bella to get her away from Mike. He is not, in fact, taking her agency and autonomy into consideration when he thinks this. He isn’t thinking about Bella and what she wants. He is only thinking about himself and what he wants. He is only thinking about what would make him happy. He doesn’t give two flying shits about Bella, about whether or not she would want to be taken out of the situation she’s in or if she is actually enjoying her conversation with this person who, for all outward appearance, is her friend. He is simply thinking about how his feefees are hurt because Mike is talking to her and how he wants that to stop right now immediately.

I will deduct a couple of points from Mike for being so oblivious to Jessica’s crush on him. I mean, teenage boy dumb, sure, but Jessica is not subtle about it, and went so far as to ask him to that dumb dance. Still think they’re way too hard on him, tho.

And Eddie just kinda spends the school day jumping from brain to brain to keep tabs on Bella. Which is still creepy by the way. He is most happy when he can spy on her through Angela, because Angela is a soft, nice girl who has no personality of her own. 

I automatically planned my own surveillance

He’s so casual about stalking her. 

Eddie points out that he’s overdoing the stalking and obsessing thing, but as we’ve learned from this book and the four that came before it, if someone admits that what they’re doing is wrong, that just means they get to keep on doing it anyway.

Eddie is impressed that Bella is reading Sense and Sensibility, because clearly she is learned and wise. I wasn’t impressed in Twilight (especially because Bella’s inner monologue showed a clear lack of actual literary understanding of the work) and I’m still not impressed here.

Eddie just goes on ahead and wanders out into the sun after Bella falls asleep in the backyard, despite the fact that it’s a risk and a danger and anyone could see him there. And the bit where he’s sparkling is something, but imagine the scandal in a small town like this for him to be found in Bella’s backyard with her asleep. Even if he wasn’t a sparklePire, there would be gossip in town, because SM made Forks out to be one of those towns where everyone knows everyone and gossip flies.

He spends a while just hanging out in a tree and listening to Bella and Charlie have dinner, and it’s both creepy as always and boring at the same time. Then we get this line:

And then I left, knowing I would return when she was asleep.

I’m gonna harp on this forever guys. Eddie is creepy as fuck. He’s out here straight up stalking this poor girl, who is none the wiser. Watching her sleep every single night, spying on her most intimate and vulnerable moments. Even he admits that it’s wrong, but just keeps on doing it, not letting her have any privacy, and touting that it’s all in the name of love. I hate this guy so much, but even more than that, I’m actually genuinely afraid of Edward Cullen. He reminds me of my own possessive and emotionally manipulative ex. He gives me the vibes of every PSA ever about domestic abuse. More than the anger, he just makes me so uncomfortable. 

Jasper’s human eatin’ friends are leaving, and are saying their goodbyes to the family when Eddie gets home before his stalking trip after Bella in Port Angles. Instead of being a polite person, he heads inside and starts moodily banging on the piano, basically for the entire time they’re there and saying their goodbyes. Inconsiderate jerk. He offers them a goodbye as they’re leaving and then immediately heads out to go stalk Bella, and that’s the end of the chapter. 

I know what the next chapter is. I’ve seen the quotes. And I can’t wait to rip into it.

As always, feel free to shoot me a message or DM to chat or recommend what book I should recap next. Feel free to buy me a snack using the CashApp cash tag in my bio, and I’ll see you guys for the next one.

[chpkns]

BEST ALBUMS 2020

Some albums I enjoyed during quarantine.

Hon Mentions: Campfire Chords - Arkells, A Written Testimony - Jay Electronica, All In One - Jaunt, Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers, Alfredo - Freddie Gibs and Madlib, Thats What They All Say - Jack Harlow, Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs - Colter Wall, This Place Sucks Ass - PUP, Only For Dolphins - Action Bronson, Black Habits - D Smoke, What’s Your Pleasure - Jessie Ware, 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino, Dedicated Side B - Carly Rae Jepsen, Dark Lane Demo Tapes - Drake, After Hours - The Weeknd, color theory - Soccer Mommy, Circles - Mac Miller, Womb - Purity Ring

10) Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

One of the lesser, although still significant, tragedies of the 2020 COVID era was that weddings and sweaty club basements the world over were robbed of Dua Lipa’s prolific output this year. Future Nostalgia is hit or miss in places, but the hits come hot and heavy delivering banger after 80′s-disco-inspired banger. Dominant summer jams “Don’t Start Now” and “Break My Heart” are the highlights here, along with “Levitating” (equally good with or without DaBaby). Sleeper tracks “Cool” and “Hallucinate” round out the year’s best pure pop album.

Highlights: Don’t Start Now, Break My Heart, Levitating, Physical, Cool, Hallucinate

9) Women In Music, Pt. III - HAIM

The third album from LA’s sister act rock trio HAIM delivers consistency and growth for the band. There’s plenty of retro heartbreak rock on Women In Music, Pt. III to satisfy fans of HAIM’s first two albums, but lots of new on offer as well including the jazzy Lou Reed inspired sax of “Summer Girl” and Danielle Haim sounding positively Joni Mitchell-esque on “Man From the Magazine”. The auditory production flourishes of erstwhile Vampire Weekend member Rostam are noticeable throughout and help stretch the bounds of the HAIM sisters’ signature Wilson Phillips meets Fleetwood Mac summer rock sound into something more of the moment.

Highlights: The Steps, Summer Girl, Don’t Wanna, Man From the Magazine, FUBT

8) My Turn (Deluxe) - Lil Baby

I’ve almost given up on trying to enjoy or understand most “new rap” but every now and then something breaks through that I connect with for some reason. Atlanta rapper Lil Baby’s My Turn was that album for me this year. There are many reasons I feel I should not like Lil Baby’s music, from his liberal use of autotune to his mumbling delivery, but something always drew me back to it and, listen after listen, it grew on me. Lil Baby’s flow is persistent when he locks in, with matching driving trap production from Quay Global, Tay Keith and others, mirroring in sound the story of Baby’s rise from the streets to prison to the studio. The standout track is late addition “The Bigger Picture”, Lil Baby’s protest anthem on race in America, policing and the turmoil following the killing of George Floyd by police, a political statement from an otherwise apolitical artist, showing that Lil Baby has much more to offer than bravado and autotune.

Highlights: Grace (ft. 42 Dugg), Forever (ft. Lil Wayne), No Sucker (ft. Moneybagg Yo), Social Distancing, The Bigger Picture

7) Miss Anthropocene - Grimes

The third major studio release from Montreal native Claire Boucher, better known as Grimes, doesn’t reach the same highs as its predecessors - 2015′s electro-pop masterpiece Art Angels (which rated number 1 on this list for that year) or 2012′s Visions, the synth-laden fever dream that introduced Grimes to mainstream notoriety (number 2 on this list for 2012) - but it’s still very much worth the time. The vibe of Miss A falls somewhere between Grimes’ previous two albums, and a little darker and messier to boot. Grimes sounds a bit like she’s playing a concert for the end of the world, which feels a bit prophetic for an album released just before a global pandemic took hold. As always, Grimes is out to flex her muscle as a technician and across the album’s ten tracks she mixes diverse sounds ranging from rave synths to banjos showing how far her craft has come since making Visions on Garageband in her Mile End apartment.

Highlights: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth, Violence, Delete Forever, 4ÆM, You’ll miss me when I’m not around

6) evermore - Taylor Swift

Spoiler alert, this isn’t the highest ranked Taylor Swift album on this list. Surprise released in December, evermore was an early Christmas present to fans of Swift’s surprise summer album folklore (more on that later). evermore continues Swift’s reinvention from pop star to indie singer-songwriter, assisted by songwriting partner Aaron Dessner of The National and a variety of indie darling guest stars - this time around featuring HAIM, The National’s Matt Berninger and another stunning guest turn with Bon Iver. Speaking of Justin Vernon, the album capping title track might be the single best song on either folklore or evermore. And for fans of Taylor’s earlier catalogue like me, the return to country music on “no body, no crime” is like reconnecting with an old friend. evermore is a little messier and less consistent thematically than its sister album, feeling a bit like folklore’s b-sides. But when your b-sides are better than most artist’s a-sides, why not release another album’s worth?

Highlights: ‘tis the damn season, no body no crime (ft. HAIM), coney island (ft. The National), cowboy like me, evermore (ft. Bon Iver)

5) RTJ4 - Run The Jewels

Walking the streets of my neighbourhood with the first listen of RTJ4 in my earbuds, I found myself actually crying at the thought that I would not get to see Killer Mike and el-P perform these songs live in the summer of 2020. The memories of RTJ festival sets past came rushing over me in a wave. That was my first “damn, I miss live music moment” of the pandemic. The fourth instalment of Run The Jewels’ historic rap partnership is more of the same in the very best way. Like the dynamic duo’s previous three instalments, RTJ4 is in your face, moves at a frenetic clip, and takes no prisoners. There’s even another album highlighting collaboration with Rage Against The Machine’s Zack De La Rocha. The politics of RTJ4′s tirades against inequity and the police state feel even more imminent in 2020 against the backdrop of George Floyd, the ensuing protest movement that gripped America, and the 2020 presidential election. I really hope we get a chance to see Mike and el-P tour these songs in 2021, the world needs it.

Highlights: ooh la la (ft. Greg Nice and DJ Premier), goonies vs. E.T., walking in the snow, JU$T (ft. Pharrell Williams and Zack de la Rocha), a few words for the firing squad (radiation)

4) Saint Cloud - Waxahatchee

The majestically twangy folk-Americana of Saint Cloud, the fifth solo album from Katie Crutchfield (stage named Waxahatchee after Waxahatchee Creek, Alabama, where the singer grew up), is a nostalgic cure for the ails of 2020. The soft bluesy rhythms of Crutchfield’s songs feel like a lazy long summer day spent by the water. That was something we needed this year. The songwriting is just as beautiful. The standout track, “Fire”, speaks to Crutchfield’s journey finding sobriety and reconnecting with her southern roots. It also speaks to a longing feeling “give me something / it ain’t enough / it ain’t enough”.  On “Arkadelphia”, Crutchfield croons: “We try to give it all meaning / Glorify the grain of the wood / Tell ourselves what's beautiful and good”. In the chaos of 2020, the calm oasis of Saint Cloud is certainly something beautiful and good worth enjoying.

Highlights: Can’t Do Much, Fire, The Eye, Arkadelphia, St. Cloud

3) Suddenly - Caribou

Suddenly was my first genuine pandemic listen and, in the early days of lockdown, I found myself going back to it again and again. So much so, that the opening haunting notes of “Sister” became a kind of touchstone as I adjusted to a weird new work-from-home lifestyle. The chilled out weirdness of Caribou was an extremely welcome presence in 2020. It had been long enough since 2014′s Our Love (2014′s number 1 on this list) that I’d forgotten how enjoyably quirky Dan Snaith’s floaty pseudo-house tunes could be. Suddenly is a little more laid back than the club ready Our Love, which maybe suits it more to a world where dancefloors are closed. The tunes are also tighter, more economical in their length and soundscape. The lead single “Home” sounds downright commercial (in a good way) with it’s motown sampled chorus. Other parts of the album, like the closing “Cloud Song” venture into more experimental territories. All throughout, however, are Caribou’s signature warm chord progressions inviting you to lose yourself in them. Whether you’re looking for a guided meditation or an at-home dance party, Suddenly was the perfect 2020 album for it.

Highlights: Sister, Home, Lime, Never Come Back, Ravi

2) Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 1 : The Butcher Shoppe Sessions - Sturgill Simpson

2020 was full of unexpected things, many bad but some surprisingly delightful. Firmly in the latter category is Cuttin’ Grass, Sturgill Simpson’s surprise double album made up entirely of bluegrass covers of his own catalogue. A true product of 2020, Simpson recorded the album with a murderer’s row of contemporary bluegrass artists after recovering from COVID-19 and challenging his fans to raise funds for charity in exchange for recording a new album. That album became Cuttin’ Grass, a traditional bluegrass re-imagination of the greatest hits and hidden gems of a country artist who has always strived to avoid being labelled as a country artist. The songs feel effortlessly at home and are given new life amid the frenetic guitar and mandolin picking, flying fiddles, and twangling banjos. If Simpson’s ode to the revelatory experience of psychedlic drug use “Turtles All The Way Down” felt revolutionary on 2014′s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, it feels like an old standard here with its tempo pitched up and enveloped in the cacophony of the bluegrass ensemble. There is some good old fashioned heartbreak to slow things down too. Mandolin player and backup vocalist Sierra Hull shines on “I Wonder” (a cover of a song originally recorded by Sturgill’s former band Sunday Valley) as she joins Simpson on the chorus: “Tell me am I the only one / drinking and cursing your name?” The juxtaposition of Simpson’s unconventional country catalogue with the most traditional of country music styles just works and the entire hour can be listened and relistened for days. And if you’re still not satisfied, the companion “Volume 2: the Cowboy Arms Sessions” released in December brings back the same supporting cast to explore more of Simpson’s catalogue.

 Highlights: All The Pretty Colors, Breakers Roar, Time After All, Turtles All The Way Down, Voices

1) folklore - Taylor Swift

Well, I told you there’d be more Taylor Swift on this list, and here it is. Your number 1 album of 2020 is folklore, the surprise release pandemic project in which the world’s biggest country star turned pop star reinvented herself again as an indie artist. Unlike anything else Swift has put out since RED, nothing on folklore is designed to be played in a stadium. Rather, it’s all more at home in a cabin by the fire, or in your earbuds on a fall walk... basically, it’s music meant for 2020. Like its companion evermore, folklore is the product of Swift’s songwriting collaboration with The National’s guitarist Aaron Dessner. The melding of songwriting styles seems like an odd match at first but sounds like a match made in heaven. Lyrically, Swift’s songwriting makes an evolutionary leap, almost leaving her primary auto or semi-autobiographical comfort zone behind completely (other than, perhaps, in heavily veiled metaphor) in favour of invented stories and semi-historical world building. After a few listens, you discover that the same characters appear in different songs like the imagined history of Rebekah Harkness, the real life former inhabitant of Swift’s Rhode Island home, on “the last great american dynasty” or imagery of “battleships” that “sink beneath the waves” in the ghost story of “my tears ricochet”. In the so-called “teenage love triangle trilogy” of “betty”, “cardigan”, and “august”, Swift tells different parts of the same story from the perspective of different characters. Each song stands on its own, but the discovery that the pieces fit together is wonderful. “betty” is the standout track for me, as a long suffering fan of “country Taylor”. In style, it harkens back to her earlier work, but in substance it’s something new entirely as Swift sings from the perspective of James, the boy who has done wrong by his lover and is seeking forgiveness. The pinnacle of the album is “exile” Swift’s collaboration with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon. The call and response interaction of Swift with Vernon’s true to for emma form baritone is chill inducing. Like so many of the unexpected good things in 2020, folklore came from throwing plans out the window and doing what felt right for the moment. This is Taylor Swift making the music she wanted to make. In Dark Knight fashion, it’s the album we needed, if not the one we deserved. It’s the best album of the year.

Highlights: cardigan, the last great american dynasty, exile (ft. Bon Iver), my tears ricochet, epiphany, betty, peace

[harringtonandbuckley]

we need to talk

steve x henderson!bi!reader

request: can u do steve x henderson!bi!reader please :)) something where they are already together and she wants to come out as bi to him but she’s scared he’ll freak out and have some angst but a happy ending? thank u! i love ur writing

a/n: this definitely didn’t come out how i wanted to. hope i did it somewhat justice.

You stared at the clock intently. It was 4:34 in the early evening and you were expecting Steve to show up anytime soon. You had called him moments before and told that you two ‘needed to talk.’ So maybe those weren’t the best words to say for a Friday confessional.

The two of you were doing great. Your relationship was thriving and you were somehow happier than you had been in a long time, as was Steve. But through all of that happiness harvested in your being, you still had an overwhelming sense of dread.

You and Steve had gotten together shortly after him and Nancy had broken up. That was also coicidentally around the same period that you were figuring yourself out a little bit. For the longest time, you would watch the two of them walk down the school’s hallways together, and it dawned on you that you had felt a longing for one of them. And you didn’t exactly know which one. And you didn’t exactly care which one. 

That school year, you had come to terms with the fact that you were bisexual. You didn’t feel the need to really tell anyone besides your mom, who, for the record, took it better than you could have ever imagined. You kind-of-sort-of told your little brother, Dustin, but he was too hellbent on the fact that you said you were dating Steve. Otherwise, he took it well. Now, you felt like maybe you should tell your boyfriend. 

That day, you did what you thought would be best: you called Steve and told him that ‘you guys needed to talk.’ Maybe those weren’t your best choice of words, but it definitely insured the fact that he would be coming over.

Unbeknownst to you, Steve was doing much more than getting ready to come over to your house. After your phone call, he raced to his car and flew to a flower shop. He was almost certain that he didn’t do anything wrong, but he wanted to be prepared just in case. Steve didn’t know how to pick out flowers very well, so he grabbed a bouquet of red roses, thinking those were the most romantic option.

So he paid, hopped in his car, and sped to your house, practicing an apology speech along the way.

It was 4:42 when knocking got you out of your trance. You dragged yourself to the door and opened it gently. There stood Steve, smiling and holding the flowers against his chest. “Surprise!”

You laughed as he handed them to you and motioned for him to come in. He obliged and slipped his shoes off at the door. “You know you still don’t have to do that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s called respect Y/N.”

“Mhm.”

“So,” Steve said abruptly. “is everything okay?”

“I mean, maybe not.” You sat down on your couch and patted the spot next to you. Steve walked awkwardly to you and sat down.

“I just want to say something,” Steve announced, throwing you off guard. “I want to, um, apologize to you. I respect if you want to break up with me but I completely disagree with that because I really like you and I don’t want to never see you again and—”

“Break up?” You gasped and crossed your arms over your chest. “You thought I called you here to break up?”

“Well usually when you say ‘we have to talk’ that means breaking up.” Steve threw his arms in the air and frowned.

“No, no. I most certainly don’t want to break up.”

“Oh thank god.” Steve chuckled uncomfortably and grabbed your hand in his. “Tell me, Y/N. What could possibly be worse then breaking up. Because honestly, that’s like number one on the bad things scale.”

You stared at him blankly and cast your eyes to the ground. “Hey, you can tell me anything, you know. You don’t have to be scared to.”

“I know,” you muttered and quickly wiped the tears that were springing to your eyes. Steve’s facial expression turned concerned and he leveled his eyes with yours. “It’s just, well, I dunno. You’ll probably want to break up after this.”

“Nothing can possibly make me want to do that. I mean, jesus, I got to your house in under ten minutes and I even stopped at the flower store on the way.”

You let out a laugh and shook your head. “Please at least promise me that you’ll hear me out?”

“I promise.”

You took a deep breath and began. “It took me a while to kind of understand and come to terms with, so I figured I should tell you considering you’re my boyfriend and all that. I’m happy with who I am and who I’ve turned out to be so far in life,” you paused and looked at him. He nodded his head and encouraged you to go on. “I think, no actually, I know for a fact that you’re hot. No doubt about it.”

“Thank you.”

“Steve.”

“Right. Carry on.”

“You’re hot. But also, to me, girls are pretty hot, too. You’re the first person I’m saying this to besides my parents which is pretty strange to say the least. But, here it goes. I’m bisexual.”

Steve slowly blinked and looked at you. He stood up paced back and forth for a few moments. You fiddled with your hands. “Were you just gonna keep that from me? What makes you think that’s cool to just hide something like that?”

“Steve I—” You were crying at this point and Steve’s eyes widened. You were at a loss for words. He walked to you quickly and kneeled on the ground in front of you.

“Hey, hey,” he said, attempting to grab your attention. “Please don’t think I’m mad, I’m not mad.”

You sniffled. “No?”

“No,” he smiled sweetly and cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears. “I’m glad you told me, and I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t. I know I was a jackass for a long time, but I’ve genuinely gotten better.”

“I know.”

“Can I ask why you didn’t want to tell me?”

You shrugged and bowed your head. “I just didn’t think you would be cool with it. Not a lot of people are these days.”

“I’ll always support you, Y/N. I mean, maybe not if you kill someone or something. But other than that, I will. This, this is nothing. I love you. Regardless of anything. I. Love. You.” He kissed your forehead and sat down on the couch, bringing you close to him. You rested your head on his shoulder and smiled.

“Thank you, Steve.”

“For what?”

“For listening.”

“My favourite part was when you told me I was hot.”

You leaned back and slapped his arm playfully, causing him to laugh. “You’re gonna get it now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Steve smirked and grabbed at your sides, tickling you. You two rolled around before falling onto the carpet below. You both groaned but didn’t move.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Before Steve could speak, the front door slammed open causing you both to jump into a sitting position. In walked Dustin, duffel bag in hand.

“I thought you were staying at Mike’s.” You questioned, watching him watch you and Steve.

“Not any more, shithead.” Dustin scowled at Steve and walked into the kitchen. You looked at your boyfriend and he shrugged. Steve and Dustin were best friends when you weren’t around. When you were, Dustin always went into psycho-brother mode.

Dustin walked back into the room and threw a wet paper towel at Steve’s face, shouting in celebration when it hit him.

“Dustin, what the hell?” You yelled, grabbing it and throwing it back.

“For my sake, for everyone’s sake, get a goddamn room. You could be with literally anyone else. And you pick Steve. I would rather you date some random girl or something. Anyone would be better than that asshat.” Dustin spit off and walked away.

You and Steve stared at each other, mouths wide open. Dustin peeked his head back around the corner and cleared his throat. “Steve, we still on for the arcade in the morning?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Okay good. Make sure to have change because they don’t like having cash on hand.” Steve nodded frantically.

“Side note,” Dustin looked at both of you up and down. “you two are okay together. You’ll never hear me say it again but it looked like you guys were having a moment when I walked in so I needed to ruin it. Happy for you Y/N, I really am.”

You smiled and shooed him away, your attention back on Steve. “Love you, Steve.”

“I love you, too.” Steve beamed and kissed you gently.

Nothing could bring you down.

[lightsandlostbells]

so, overall, what did you think of season 3 of stranger things?

It took me a while to answer this question because I had to sort out how I felt about this season! I guess if I had to narrow it down to an overall opinion: enjoyable, but very messy. Had some of the series’ best moments but also, while I was watching, I had far more grumbles and gripes than the previous two seasons.

I’ve never really been hung up on whether this show is derivative or plays too into nostalgia or w/e. Plenty of media does that. And despite all the time I’ve spent dissecting micro-expressions and weighty silences in European teen dramas that are filmed for the cost of a candy bar … I am way into genre films and TV shows. I love monsters and superheroes and spectacle! I watched Stranger Things the weekend it premiered because I love ‘80s movies about kids on bikes having adventures, I eat that shit up. So I don’t expect this show to be a hardcore deconstruction and re-imagining of those tropes (though that sounds like a pretty great show), I’m fine with it being what it is: a solid, spooky sci-fi/horror throwback series. What matters most is whether the story and characters work. Personally, I would say whatever criticisms you can make of S1 and S2, they had heart, and unfortunately I think some of that heart was missing from S3. Much of that, IMO, comes from sidelining some of the familial relationships that were at the center of the narrative in S1 and S2, like the Byers family and Hopper & Eleven, and to some degree the important friendships like the party, although there were other friendships introduced in this season so that wasn’t as glaring. It’s not a surprise that one of the best-received parts about this season, Steve and Robin’s friendship, is also responsible for one of the most heartfelt scenes Stranger Things has ever done. 

There was also a way larger emphasis on comedy in S3. Comedy is probably my favorite genre, and I did laugh at a lot of humorous moments in this season. But I also felt like there was more comedy for comedy’s sake, like long sequences created intentionally to make the audience laugh. Whereas in S1 and S2, I can’t remember any scenes like that? The comedy was more understated and came from character personalities and relationship moments rather than joke set pieces. That’s perhaps another reason why S3 felt like it had less heart.

My hope for season 4 - and I am assuming there is a season 4, because apparently this show did mega ratings for S3 - is that they don’t add more major new characters (except love interests for the gay characters, go ahead with those, lol) and instead focus on the existing cast,  which is already a very strong ensemble, yet many of the characters have gotten pushed to the sides. I would love if they added to the episode count: a lot of Netflix series drag out their seasons, like they have enough story for 10 episodes but have to stretch it out to 13, but Stranger Things has the opposite problem. I feel like if they had 10 (or 11, ha) episodes they could have more time for breather moments and more space for character arcs. This season was really fast-paced in my opinion, and although that’s a positive in many respects, I missed a lot of the down time.

Also, I think every season has taken place over like a week maximum, not including the epilogues, and like … you can make the story last longer than a week! Not everything has to go to hell in like a day or two.

Some more specific opinions underneath, obviously lots of spoilers.

First of all, I gotta say, I feel like a weirdo, because so many of the reviews for this season are like A RETURN TO FORM AFTER A DISAPPOINTING SECOND SEASON and UP THERE WITH SEASON 1 NOT THAT CRAPPY SEASON 2 THAT NO ONE LIKED and uhhhh … I liked season 2 just fine? It’s probably my favorite. There are things I don’t like about it, but the stuff I love is stuff I really, really love. Hopper and Eleven’s relationship, for instance. Steve and Dustin teaming up and Steve Harrington becoming a guardian to four children. Those are not just great elements to the series, but directions that I think only a second season could have taken - Hopper and Eleven’s bond wouldn’t have had half the weight if they weren’t established as traumatized, broken people in S1. Steve Harrington becoming a babysitter would not be nearly so delightful if we had not known him as the popular douchebag stereotype from S1 - if he were just a cool dude hanging out with kids from the get-go, the impact wouldn’t be as great. After S1 used Will Byers as a MacGuffin in S1, S2 gave Will a much larger role and that little actor acted his ass off. His performance generated a lot of genuine suspense and chills. There was Sean Astin being lovable! Paul Reiser’s character being a surprisingly good guy! Yeah, there are big flaws in the season, and you can argue it’s too much of a repeat of S1, but to me it was a version of S1 that made the characters more specific and interesting. I’m just … genuinely baffled by how it’s supposed to be demonstrably worse than the others. Because of the Kali episode? I didn’t think that one was terrible, either. I think it broke up the momentum of the chaos at Hawkins Lab, and Kali’s friends were obnoxious, it’s certainly not the greatest writing of the series, but as a whole the episode is like. Fine. It’s fine. It’s mediocre, not atrocious. It’s not the worst thing ever. It doesn’t ruin anything about the story or direction or the series. Most importantly it’s easy to ignore or skip on a rewatch if you don’t like it. The backlash was way overblown.

My biggest disappointment with season 3 was Hopper. Whaaaaaaat. Whaaaat did they dooooo. 

Hopper in previous seasons is a flawed, messed-up human being, but I always knew where he was coming from. When he yelled at Eleven in S2, I still got why he did it. In this season he felt cartoonish. The overprotective paternalistic dad trope is annoying BUT I might have been less bothered had they connected it more to Eleven’s lack of experience with the world, less RAWRRRR KEEP BOYS AWAY FROM MY GIRL. Or if Hopper had not demonstrated like, actual rage toward Mike and we just saw him fuming about it to himself or venting to Joyce, if he was trying to keep that shit under control. (I did laugh at him singing “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” in the car, I gotta admit.)

But his attitude toward Joyce was what really bummed me out. I’m not into this show for shipping reasons, but I low-key enjoyed the possibility of Joyce and Hopper hooking up based on previous seasons. This season felt like they were writing a completely different dynamic for them, one that was much more aggressively obnoxious. I think their intentions were clear - they were going for a Sam-and-Diane relationship, something that was referenced early on in the Bob flashback - but the problem is that their relationship was not like that at all in S1 and S2. When I think of Joyce and Hopper from those seasons, I think about him supporting her after Bob died, or listening to her concerns about her son, or working together to find Will. They didn’t have this combative dynamic! Frankly watching giant-ass Hopper yell at tiny Joyce was viscerally unpleasant. (Side note but in the first trailer there was a shot of Hopper running at the Fun Fair with someone else who I assumed was Eleven, but no, turned out to be Joyce, Winona Ryder is just that tiny next to David Harbour.)

Also, considering this season ended with his death (and we all know he’s not really dead but OK) it’s such a waste that there were few Hopper&Eleven moments! Only the finale brought some quality content on that front. But otherwise their relationship was out of sight, out of mind for almost the whole season, which wasn’t a great choice, both to maximize the emotional impact of the ending, and to expand upon their situation post-S2. I mean, it’s been months since then, how has their relationship changed now? Hopper’s letter talked about the stuff he enjoyed doing with his daughter - why didn’t we see any of that on screen this season? It could’ve helped with the Mike angle, too, like show Hopper and Eleven watching TV together and laughing and having a good time, and then the phone rings and it’s Mike and suddenly Hopper’s watching TV alone as Eleven’s now focused on her boyfriend, we see his disappointment, etc. 

Scoops Troop - Now they were a delight. They had such a ludicrous story but for the most part it worked due to the characters playing off each other and because the writing/acting/directing embraced the silliness. 

Steve Harrington is easily one of the best characters on this show. I fucking love that guy. He’s consistently entertaining, he’s had possibly the best character growth out of anyone in the series, he’s evolved from a stock ‘80s asshole stereotype into someone who’s funny and sympathetic and likable. He’s this amazing blend of the ridiculous with the heroic. Steve and Dustin were great together, as they were last season, and I’m cackling that Steve acquired YET ANOTHER CHILD under his supervision without even trying. But the MVP of the season was the Steve & Robin friendship. Holy shit do I love that relationship. Holy SHIT.

Robin herself is a terrific new character, smart and funny and once you know she’s half-Uma, you can’t unsee it. I was loving her already and then the bathroom scene happened and I YELLED. I was so utterly overjoyed. If they had made Steve and Robin hook up, honestly … I would’ve been fine with it, like this show doesn’t need more heterosexual romance but at least they had a fun dynamic, but man, the friendship angle was so so superior. It’s a type of relationship that media is lacking, and the specific circumstances of this friendship made it genuinely moving to me. I keep wanting to write like a meta post devoted to just this relationship because I just have so many emotions about it! But they play well off each other as a comedic duo and as an odd couple friendship, and they’re really what each other needs, IMO. Steve needed this close friendship more than he needed a girlfriend; in this season he’s clearly adrift and we’ve seen the kind of shitty friends he had in like season one, is Dustin the best pal he had at this point? And I love Steve & Dustin but Steve needed a good friend his own age. Robin is a lesbian in small-town Indiana in the ‘80s, and she was clearly full of fear that Steve would hate her if he knew, and for him to accept her so easily, not even making a big deal about it? That’s kind of life-saving, really. I can’t wait to see more of them, if Netflix wants to make the half-hour Clerks-esque spinoff about them working in a video store and shooting the shit, I would be 100% down for that.

I have some mixed feelings about Erica because I think she could have benefited from getting the same humanization as the other kids (and I’m going to leave the discussion of racial tropes gently by the side at the moment but … yeah). The other child characters are played more like actual people with vulnerabilities, which has been part of the show’s appeal since the first season, and Erica was more like the sitcom kid who always has a snarky quip ready; however, she did make me laugh and I like that they tapped into her being a nerd, I wish they’d explore that in future seasons with the character. “I’m ten, you bald bastard” was one of my favorite lines of the season, I lost my goddamn mind. 

Billy - Lmao, so Billy in S2 was the woooorst. This dude had ZERO redeeming qualities. His abusive dad creates a smidgen of sympathy, I guess, but Billy goes so far beyond normal teenage assholery that it didn’t make a dent in my opinion of him. You can redeem someone like Steve Harrington, first of all because Steve actually feels regret and works to correct his mistakes, but Steve also didn’t go to a point of no return in the first place. Billy did, for me. Physically and verbally abusing his younger sister? Attacking a black middle-schooler for the crime of being in the same room as his white sister? What a piece of shit.

With that in mind - I have no problem focusing on him as a villain this season, I really don’t. It justifies his inclusion in S2 other than as a human antagonist who’s ultimately not really connected to the main plot, as it retrospectively establishes him as an even greater threat in this season. I also think the actor did a good job with the material he was given. However, ultimately this dude’s arc was underwhelming. The thing is … I can tell they were trying to show Billy struggling with the Mind Flayer, but Billy is so lacking in any positive qualities that it’s kind of like, where does that struggle even come from? Yeah, even the worst people aren’t going to be wild about having a monster from another dimension hijack your body and use it to collect people for spare parts, but this is the same dude who was about to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin on their bikes last season for absolutely no reason. He beat Steve to point of unconsciousness and could’ve put him in the hospital. He assaulted Lucas. So I really need some evidence of Billy’s moral compass because it is not inherent and there’s in fact plenty of evidence that it doesn’t exist. I’m not very enthusiastic about redeeming a racist, abusive creep, but I also think if you’re going to go for him helping Eleven at the end … you have to show some current potential for goodness, not just “used to be a nice kid.”

A really glaring omission: the lack of any family/home scenes with him, Max, and their parents this season. We left off last season with Max telling him to leave her and her friends alone. How is their relationship since then? Is there still a lot of friction? Is there a tense peace? Has their relationship improved in any way? We really needed to see that follow-up. I get that Max crying over Billy this season makes sense in that he’s still her family and we can still have love for those who hurt us … but I also feel that we needed something between them to justify her pain, like even just the potential of their relationship being a fraction better, or the suggestion that Billy used to be OK to Max before he went full asshole. And I think we really needed to see Billy’s dad being currently abusive in this season - tbh, missed opportunity that the dad didn’t get flayed like, out of revenge (which would have been both satisfying and horrifying), missed opportunities for suspense when we think Billy might serve up Max and her mom to the Mind Flayer, etc.

Another missed opportunity: drawing parallels between Billy and Will. Both are possessed by the Mind Flayer. Both had shitty dads calling them homophobic slurs. Both could be read as gay (I’m not hungry to claim Billy as LGBT representation or invested in this interpretation but his scenes with Steve in S2 admittedly have that sweaty homoerotic dick-measuring vibe, if you want to take it there). Their names are both William, FFS. The difference is that Will is a sweet and gentle kid surrounded by loving family and friends who fought to save him, and Billy is a violent, cruel dude who probably doesn’t have any real friends, just shallow connections. You could show how the Mind Flayer could more easily possess and manipulate someone like Billy, but that wasn’t really explored.

Also, is anyone going to dwell on the fact that like … Max is living with an abusive man as her stepfather? He’s shown hurting Billy’s mom. Does that not concern anyone that he is very likely to attack either Max or her mom? 

Oh, and thank God they didn’t take the Billy/Karen thing all the way. In retrospect, even weirder considering Billy’s mommy issues. 

Joyce - I get that it’s a big leap downward in emotional investment to go from “must save my son” to “fucking magnets, how do they work” but I liked that she had her own investigation that wasn’t full of emotional turmoil. Winona forever. 

Mike - Everyone is ragging on him but I think he was less terrible than people are making him out to be. He was bratty in a teenage way, but he wasn’t the worst kid ever. I didn’t take his now notorious line to Will (“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”) as something intentionally cruel or homophobic, just something that came out wrong and that he instantly regretted, and he and Lucas did seem genuinely apologetic over the D&D game and went over to Will’s in the rain out of concern. And the reason he lied to Eleven was because SCARY ASS HOPPER threatened him??? Also, his concern over Eleven overexerting herself was not misplaced, lmao! It really took that long for anyone to go, “Hey, should we be worried about the amount of blood coming out of her nose? Should we be concerned about the effects on her brain?” Sure, Eleven has the final say in whether or not she uses her powers, but tbh… she didn’t have a normal upbringing and her view of her powers is probably skewed. Like, would Eleven have enough basic medical knowledge to be worried about brain damage or nosebleeds, or would that just be the norm to her? Is she making these decisions with a full grasp of the potential consequences? Anyway, I don’t have a more negative opinion of Mike after this season. 

Eleven - I loved Eleven a lot in this season. I don’t know if it did a ton for her character arc, but it’s nice to see her slowly develop into more of a normal girl. And the season was rough for her in terms of getting her ass kicked, she goes through so much mental and physical pain! In the end she loses her dad and her powers!

Of course one of the bright spots was her and Max becoming friends! Not gonna lie, there was something a little … simplistic about some of that depiction of friendship for me - just that so much of it was SHOPPING and GIGGLING and BOY TALK, girls being GIRLS, when Max has been portrayed as a tomboy and Eleven is a telekinetic kid raised in a lab, that maybe their interactions shouldn’t have fit the mold quite so much - but it doesn’t truly bother me because they were so sweet and fun. I loved them tracking down Billy together and I appreciate that their friendship carried throughout the season, that Max was the person shown carrying an injured Eleven along with Mike, Eleven comforted Max after Billy died, etc. That was a definite sore spot of S2, the girl-on-girl jealousy and Eleven flat-out rejecting Max’s friendly introduction, and I do think they took that feedback into account for the better here. I also like that Eleven was clearly taking cues from Max, the more “worldly” of the two about boys and clothes and teenage attitudes in general - it gave their friendship a more specific shape.

I cannot WAIT to see her living with the Byers family next season. Like if they don’t spend significant time on that dynamic, it will be the biggest disappointment. There could be 8 episodes of just boring mundane Byers domestic scenes and I would love it, please inject it into my eyeballs, Duffer bros. I want to see her bonding with all of them, trying to fit in at school, attempting the most normal life she’s ever had. Also lmao, she and Will can finally have a goddamn conversation??? I hope they’ve been withholding that relationship because they were planning to go all out with those new sibling vibes in S4. They are the two characters who have been most traumatized by the Upside Down, we deserve to see them connect.

On that note, I have a lot of thoughts about Will in this season! Mainly - underused as FUCK. After all that trauma of being possessed by the Mind Flayer last season, they barely utilize this connection in the second half of S3. Even his Spidey sense hardly came in handy??? Now that was really weird, IMO, because the least they could do was have that feeling alert the others or be useful, but lmao it was practically pointless. 

It’s weird because I’m not sure if they just don’t know what to do with Will if he’s not being a victim (which is stupid because there’s plenty you could do with him), but at the same time, he has one of the most poignant subplots of the season. From the reactions I’ve seen, Will feeling rejected and left out as his friends move on really resonated with a lot of viewers. But then this thread is abandoned after episode 3, for the most part. Will cries and destroys the place that represents his childhood, a place that was created specifically in response to trauma (mentioned in S2 that he and Jonathan built it after their dad left), this is very rich emotional territory … and then the show’s just like ehhhhhh moving on. He’s just hanging out in the background and touching his neck for the rest of the season. 

And now I gotta talk about that other thing with Will.

I am so confused by what the Duffer brothers are trying to accomplish with Will’s sexuality, because on the one hand it seems like they have a really clear idea about it and on the other hand they’re just like¯\_(ツ)_/¯  The thing is … it seems very obvious they have always thought of Will as gay. This is blatant from the original pitch from the show as well as one of the S2 scripts (the only one that’s available publicly, so who knows what else they’ve written). I accept that people have different interpretations, but The Line this season is far from the only textual support for Will being gay, and I think it makes for a much, much stronger narrative if you read Will as gay in addition to not wanting to grow up as fast as his friends and being stunted from trauma - that is an entire meta post in itself, though. 

What gets me about the ~ambiguity is that the Duffer brothers planted the gay hints in the first place! They are absolutely not there by accident! Like I’m not speaking for the teenage actors but lmao, the adults involved in the writing and directing of this series absolutely fucking knew how that “not my fault you don’t like girls” scene would be interpreted, especially considering fans were debating Will’s sexuality from the beginning, based off the many homophobic comments leveled at him in S1. There have been TV shows where fans latched onto gay “subtext” that was likely unintentional, but this isn’t one of them. 

IDK, man, it’d just be nice to have some confidence in where this is going. I loved Robin and the bathroom scene made me think that yeah, they might do a decent job with Will’s sexuality, something I might have doubted before. Under no circumstances do I expect a Skam S3-style coming out arc for Will, but I’m also uncertain if I should expect anything from the show on this front at all or if they’ll play it coy to the bitter end. Though I guess I’d still take the ambiguity over giving him a female love interest after everything. Lol, that would be a giant oh-fuck-no.

Real talk, though, let’s discuss what an utter waste it would be to not write a scene where Joyce tenderly accepts her son when he comes out to her. You really aren’t going to bring that instantly iconic moment to life, assholes? You’re not going to provide that for Winona Ryder’s and Noah Schnapp’s Emmy reels? MAKE IT HAPPEN, BASTARDS.

Nancy and Jonathan have a reputation for the most boring plots but they’re fine, w/e. I’m not deeply invested in their romance but I don’t want to fast forward their scenes or anything. Nancy is an underrated character; she’s extremely proactive and always has been, and I enjoy watching her shoot things. I think the best thing they could do for both characters, though, is to separate them next season, not just physically but storyline-wise. Jonathan would be best in a subplot involving his family, because he’s at his most likable as a son and brother, and Nancy should either go off with Mike (a sibling relationship that is VASTLY undeveloped), or she should team up with Robin. I mean it, Nancy and Robin would be a power pairing, let me show you my manifesto. Both are smart young women who are good at solving mysteries. Would Robin think Nancy is a priss after Nancy unloads several rounds into the latest demogorgon chasing them? Would Nancy find Robin a refreshing alternative to the crushing suburban conformity that she claims to want to avoid? Oh, the possibilities. Meanwhile, Steve tags along in the background, all like OH SHIT, my lesbian BFF and my ex-girlfriend are in cahoots! 

Lucas and Max were playing relationship counselors to Mike and Eleven through much of the season. Max still had a fair amount to do, but Lucas needs a meatier subplot next time. I feel like they’re not sure what to do with him? I would like to see him and Erica interact more since their dynamic so far is one-note. 

There is one hell of a conversation to be had about the Evil Russians of this season, but I’m really not the person to do it. 

Also about the depiction of capitalism this season. That’s more thinkpiece-y than I am equipped to do right now. 

The product placement is something that should bother me more but I’m just like … shrug. Except that New Coke bit because that was an actual mood-breaker. 

Could have done without Russian Terminator guy. That was a blatant ‘80s homage so I get why he was there, he just wasn’t all that interesting. And was that guy supposed to be superpowered or something? Was he getting jacked on Upside Down steroids???  What was his deal???

Alexei/Murray was the true OTP of the season, let’s be real.

The trend of lovable, doomed minor characters continued with Alexei. Props to that actor for making you root for the guy. He even made me kind of love Murray? I was very WTF over that guy encouraging two teenagers to fuck in S2, and I’m still not into his habit of telling people to bang even when they’re adults, but I guess he just needed a sympathetic Russian buddy to win me over. 

There were a ton of moments where I felt like the characters made stupid choices as opposed to earlier seasons. Will getting dragged into the Upside Down in the first 10 minutes of the series is an impressive example of a horror movie character doing everything right and making good decisions - a 12-year-old, no less. And he was still overpowered by the demogorgon so it’s not like making good decisions will always save you! Whereas this season I was like LORD some of these characters are drinking dumbass juice. 

There was also so much silly stuff happening, like things that are even more far-fetched than previous seasons, but I just kind of went with it. Yeah, of course there’s a secret Russian base under a shopping mall. Sure.

This season is objectively disgusting in terms of gore and yet I was fine with it? And I’m someone who was repulsed by Barb’s corpse in S1. The Mind Flayer being made of people was some nasty shit but effective horror. I felt bad for the poor little rats :( Oh, and the flayed humans, too. Some of them. Was sad to see Mrs. Driscoll bite it but FUCK those cartoon misogynists from the newspaper. 

Visually beautiful! Starcourt Mall is an amazing set and I’m rather sad that the mall was destroyed, although that was basically a foregone conclusion. Some great cinematography, too. On a purely aesthetic level I had a great time just blasting this season into my retinas.

I have had the motherfucking NeverEnding Story theme song in my head for almost two weeks and I’m suffering.

[schraubd]

In Relating to our Black Allies, Jews Need To Stop Being Babies

Every toy for babies is basically the same. There is a button to be pressed, or some other simple action -- a bop or a shake or a slap. The toy emits a sound, squeak, or noise. The baby is happy beyond belief, and presses the button again. The sound repeats, and the baby is (somehow) just as ecstatic as the first time. Rinse, wash, repeat forever. Sometimes I feel like, in our relationship with the Black community, the Jewish community remains in infancy. Because we are constantly behaving like babies, and we need to cut it out. Here's the play: we find a Black person. We ask them to condemn antisemitism (Farrakhan is always a good target). They comply. We are delighted. We press the button again. They make the condemnatory noise again. *clap clap clap*. Oh, what could be more fun? And again and again and again we go, pressing the button on our fabulous condemn-antisemitism toy. Until eventually, our partner doesn't want to play anymore. Maybe they're concerned at the disproportionate attention Black antisemitism seems to receive. Maybe they want to talk about something other than antisemitism. Maybe they just don't like being used as a toy. So we press the button, expecting to hear the delightful sound of a condemnation of antisemitism, and ... it doesn't come. And then, like a baby, the tantrum begins. "How could you not condemn a monster like Farrakhan?" "Don't you care about Jews?" "If anyone asked me to condemn a racist in my community, I wouldn't hesitate!" Bawl bawl bawl. A moment's reflection shows how juvenile these demands are. There are plenty of actions by the Israeli government I oppose as wrongful or even (in some cases) prejudices. And I condemn them, often. But I would not accept anyone's entitlement to have me do so "on demand", like a speak-and-spell, any and every time I wished to present myself in a public space. That sort of behavior -- and it does happen (remember Matisyahu in Spain?) -- is rightfully deemed antisemitic. So we should understand how our parallel demands in the Black community are rightfully understood as racist. In Faces at the Bottom of the Well, Derrick Bell recounts an incident where Rep. Charlie Rangel was asked on television to condemn some antisemitic remark by Farrakhan. He did so, while also expressing frustration at the sense that Black Americans "have to carry around their last statement condemning Farrakhan" like a passbook in order to be accepted into civil society. Yet this is the effect of our infantile mode of relating to our Black peers. Whenever they swing into our orbit, we reach out and press the button, waiting for them to say those magic words for us. I'm not saying that there is no antisemitism in the Black community, and I'm not saying there aren't Black people who really do apologize for Louis Farrakhan's antisemitism. This post isn't about them. This post is about people who know full well that Farrakhan is an antisemite, and have never given any indication they think otherwise, but just resent being asked to say so over and over and over again. So to be clear: What makes a Black person an ally to the Jewish community is not that they stand ready to be pressed as a button whenever a Jewish person needs to hear the comforting sound "Louis Farrakhan is an antisemite." That's an unreasonable, frankly infantile demand. But too often it seems characteristic of how Jews relate to those in the Black community we wish to see "allyship" from. There's one other element of this analogy that I think it's important to bring forward. The reason babies love these toys is not just because they appreciate the sounds that they make. That's part of it, but just as important is the toy's testament to the baby's ability to manipulate the world around them. They can tell that when they push this button, that results -- and for an infant who generally can't really cause things to happen in the world (no matter how much they might want to), that's a really nice feeling. When it comes to antisemitism and eliciting a response to it, Jews are in a similar boat. We very much want people to respond to our calls; to condemn antisemitism when we ask them to. But for the most part, the world doesn't listen to us. When we, say, ask Mike Huckabee to not make gratuitous Holocaust comparisons, he flatly rejects the demand and snarls that "Israel and Jewish people need to make friends, not insult the ones they have." Like infants, Jews are constantly made quite aware that we are for the most part sitting at the mercy of people bigger and stronger than we are. So, when there is a spot in the world where, when we say "condemn antisemitism!", something actually happens, there is something understandably exciting and delightful about it. It is an exercise of power by people who typically feel powerless. A similar dynamic explains why sometimes there might seem to be outsized attention to Jewish racism. For the most part, condemnations by communities of color of racism instigated by White Americans fall on deaf ears, for it is a feature of Whiteness in America that they are if they wish impervious to such demands. And likewise, it is a feature of Jewish vulnerability that we are not so impervious and that therefore at least sometimes, in some spaces, we can be compelled to answer. That, I imagine, is a delightful rarity. So perhaps it's understandable why those attacking racism so often seem to draw from the Jewish well. But if it still feels like an exploitation of Jewish marginal status, that's because it is. And likewise, the reason we're able to get some Black leaders, some of the time, to condemn antisemitism on cue is because of racism. The comparative vulnerability of a Black American versus a, say, Mike Huckabee means that they have to be responsive to these sorts of demands in circumstances where others don't. The constant call to "condemn antisemitism" exploits that vulnerability -- which is to say, it exploits Black marginalization. And that exploitation is reasonably resented. If the only way we relate to our Black allies is by asking them, again and again, to condemn antisemitism, we don't actually have a relationship as allies. We have a relationship that could be fulfilled by a tape recorder. True allyship is bidirectional. It involves giving as well as taking, and it involves learning new things, not just repeating the same homilies over and over again. Most importantly, a genuine allyship involves trust -- trust to know that one's partners oppose antisemitism even when they're not saying out loud. Trust that they've got your back even when they're operating in precarious circumstances, where sensitivities are on edge and tensions run highest. And unfortunately, right now, it seems that trust is lacking. Can that lack be laid entirely at the feet of the Jewish community? No, it can't. But do we have our share of the blame? Yes, most certainly. I get, obviously, why it feels good to hear Black people condemn antisemitism. And I get the social conditions which make it easier to focus on Black people who do or don't criticize Louis Farrakhan compared to tackling the far more entrenched, but far more dangerous, iterations of antisemitism in Congress, in churches, among Soros-conspiracymongers and White supremacist murderers. But such pleasures are cheap, and we are not babies. It's time for the Jewish community to grow up. via The Debate Link http://bit.ly/2VXNNOF

[frostedlover]

Merlin- Future AU Pt-1

This is a Merlin songfic I wrote, I’ve heard this song a few times and it always makes me think of Merlin and Arthur when I hear it so I had to write something based around it. I hope you guys enjoy and if you some other songs let me know and I’ll see what I can do!

Song- King and Lionheart by: Of Monsters and Men**** Link- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE

As always I sadly own nothing. If I did Merlin and Arthur would be living happily together in Camelot. But alas it cannot be. Sooo this is the next best thing.

*****Line Break*****

Merlin knew this was a bad idea, and he had no idea how he let them convince him otherwise. Sure since Arthur and the knights had come back they had adapted rather well to the new world they were thrown into a year ago. Merlin however had been very careful to keep them away from this part of his life. Sadly all things must come to an end.

Merlin walked from his bedroom toward the living room where everyone else had already gathered. As he stepped in he saw six sets of eyes immediately look at him in question. He held a hand up before they could speak, slinging his guitar onto his shoulder. “I agreed to bring you along to stop the begging. But first I’m laying down some ground rules.  Rule one; we aren’t talking about my clothes.” He said gesturing to himself. While he had to admit it must be weird for them to see him in skinny jeans and leather, he did have an image. “Rule two; while I’m not saying you can’t talk, just be careful. I really don’t want to move because someone said something they shouldn’t.” He looked them all over watching for their accepting looks. “And finally rule three; how this goes tonight will decide if I ever let you come to a show again. Keep that in mind.”

Once Merlin received mumbled agreements from the knights, and a scoff of disapproval from Arthur he was ready to go. He grabbed his keys and they started out the door and to his van. On the way there he felt Gwaine wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Now mate, I know you said not to ask about the clothes, but I have to know… Can I get some pants like that?” He asked laughing softly.

Merlin pushed him off with a snort and shook his head. “Get in the van Gwaine.” He said rolling his eyes with a fond smile. The drive to the club was a quite one, but Merlin had expected this, knowing they were all trying to figure out exactly what they were going to see from Merlin today.

When they pulled up behind the back of the club Merlin climbed out first and grabbed his guitar, but before he could turn around and say anything to the knights he was practically tackled to the ground. The knights all rushed forward to help, but they stopped short at the familiar laugh that bubbled out. Merlin wrapped his arms around his “attacker” pulling him into a tight hug.

“Alex… It’s been to long mate.” Merlin said with a wide smile as he pulled back to look the man over. He was about a head taller than Merlin, but his build was about the same. He had short brown and a large doping smile.

“Merls, I’ve been good. James in the green room, we’re both ready for the show. What about you, still fit your little arse into your skinnies?” Alex teased good naturedly.

“I don’t know why don’t you take a look?” Merlin teased shoving Alex before wrapping his arm around him and turning to the knights. “Guys this is Alex, he’s one of my mates. Alex these are the knights; Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Lancelot, Elyan, and of course Arthur.” He said motioning to each of them in turn, and while the knights all looked shocked, Alex just smiled.

“Nice to finally meet you, Merl used to get drunk and rambled bout you lot for hours. It was good to see him light up when you returned.” He turned back to Merlin and ruffled his hair, “You take care of them I’ll see you in there.” He said before bounding through the door.

“How did he know about us Merlin?” Arthur asked while folding his arms. The other nodded in agreement wanting answers.

“They’ve been my mates for ten years. I wasn’t going to keep this from them.” Merlin ran a hand through his hair. “I owe them my life, and they’ve accepted me both the good and the bad. They’re good men.” He said firmly before looking at them. “Let’s go.”

*****Line break*****

Arthur stood against the bar with his arms folded; he scanned the crowd before looking at the knights who were left out here with him. “I don’t know if I trust these men to know our secrets. What if something goes wrong?” He questioned, loud enough for only his men to hear.

“I trust Merlin, and if he trusts them that’s enough for me.” Lancelot said firmly, Gwaine quickly voicing his agreement on the matter. “Merlin has always been a good judge of character, I can’t imagine that changing.”

“But why hasn’t he told us of them?” Leon brought up. “If they’re important enough to know of us; why didn’t we know of them?” He questioned, shrugging when Arthur motioned his approval.

“He did say they saved him. Maybe he still has secrets from us.” Elyan offered looking at the other faces around him. “He was alone for a long time, we can’t expect everything to be perfect, even around a year.” He reminded patiently.

“Well I for one am going to be having a long talk with him about this.” Arthur said firmly, his next statement being cut off when a woman came onto stage.

“Alright now’s the time you’ve all been waiting for! Everyone please put your hands together for the local favorite Dragon Knights!” The woman stepped off the stage as the people in the club started cheering.

The knights watched the stage intently as three men stepped out, all wearing similar clothes, but one very family face was wearing a Camelot red vest.

Merlin grabbed the mike a charming smile gracing his features. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” He asked chuckling at the cheers that greeted him. “Most of you already know us but for those who don’t, we are Dragon Knights, I am Emrys lead singer and rhythm guitarist. To my left is Dante, back up vocals and lead guitar. And behind us is Druid, he’s our drummer. I’d ask for introductions from you… But I think you’d rather hear us play.” He said smirking.

“We’re going to start off with a fan favorite, so if you know it… Sing along.” Merlin started tapping his foot slowly before Dante started playing.

Taking over this town, they should worry, But these problems aside I think I taught you well. That we won't run, and we won't run, and we won't run.

And in the winter night sky ships are sailing, Looking down on these bright blue city lights. And they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait. We're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay.

The knights stared in shock, they had expected quite a few things, but even know none of them knew Merlin could actually sing.

Howling ghost they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart. A lion-heart.

Merlin’s eyes scanned the crowd until his eyes landed on the knights. But they only lingered for a moment before he locked gazes with Arthur. A small genuine smile graced his face and suddenly the knights knew just why he was singing this.

His crown lid up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind. Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

Merlin tore his eyes away to address the audience again, he moved across the stage bringing it over to Dante so the male could sing with him.

Howling ghost they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart. And in the sea that's painted black, Creatures lurk below the deck But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart. And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart.

The music slowed and the lights dimmed. Once more Merlin eyes locked with Arthurs.

A lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart A lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart

Merlin’s eyes stayed locked this time, and an all too familiar smile graced his features as the light surrounded them again.

Howling ghost they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart. And in the sea that's painted black, Creatures lurk below the deck But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart. A lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart A lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart, a lion-heart.

The lights dimmed once more, completely blacking out the stage as the cheers started from the crowd. But as Merlin listen he could hear the very distinct sounds of his friends as they clapped, whistled and yelled. And he decided that maybe, just maybe, they could come back for another show.

[lligkv]

what will we do, expecting no reward?

The copy on the back cover of Elisa Gabbert’s The Unreality of Memory asks a question: “Can we avoid repeating history?”

The answer to that question lies in determining what we’ve been doing thus far and changing it. But many of the essays in the collection focus on the possibility of empathy and compassion at the expense of much discussion of what these feelings might help us to do. See for instance Gabbert, at the end of the essay “I’m So Tired,” growing maudlin over the state of the world until her activist friend justly snaps at her to “Stop despairing! That’s not a strategy.” Some time later, he relents; he grants that writing may be her form of activism. Should it be? Maybe we’ve really reached the end of what “personal essays” can achieve for either those who write them or those who read them.

Many of the essays in The Unreality of Memory are about the anxiety that the average middle-class person—the person who has a job in an industry like marketing or tech, has a healthy social life, keeps herself reasonably informed, and makes sure to vote—feels when she considers natural disasters, climate change, war, and mass death. Because this person is seldom at risk herself, the regard for others she experiences is often nominal rather than meaningful. “Worry, like attention, is a limited resource,” as Gabbert says in the essay “Threats,” and what we do with it depends on how immediate the threat we face is and whether it poses a risk to our individual survival. Often, we offload our worry onto experts who can tell us, for instance, where and how to build a structure to keep it safe from earthquakes.

But offload too much of your worry, leave too much of your responsibility for experts and systems to take up, and when a crisis comes that no one set of experts can address, you’re reduced to paralysis.

And there are limits to what any one expert can address when the crises and the systems wracked by them are big enough. When he was president, Barack Obama was a symbol of the systems, domestic and international, that claim to represent us and to work for our collective welfare. In the essay “In Our Midst,” Gabbert shares Obama’s response to a reporter’s question about South Sudan at one of his final press conferences:

Mike, I always feel responsible. I felt responsible when kids were being shot by snipers. I felt responsible when millions of people had been displaced. I feel responsible for murder and slaughter that’s taken place in South Sudan that’s not being reported on, partly because there’s not as much social media being generated from there. There are places around the world where horrible things are happening and because of my office, because I’m president of the United States, I feel responsible. I ask myself every single day, is there something I could do that would save lives and make a difference and spare some child who doesn’t deserve to suffer. So that’s a starting point. There’s not a moment during the course of this presidency where I haven’t felt some responsibility.

Gabbert takes this in good faith, as a genuine reflection of Obama’s deep capacity for care. I found it harder to do that. Reading the passage in 2020, I think: Is this expression of care anything more than mere expression? Did Obama work to stop what happened in South Sudan, or did he just feel bad about it?

I grant I’m overestimating the ability even the US president has to act to regulate conflicts fueled by global interests—not least that of the country he leads. The problem is probably the question Obama was asked. “Do you, as president of the United States, leader of the free world, feel any personal moral responsibility now at the end of your presidency for the carnage we’re all watching in Aleppo, which I’m sure disturbs you?” To that, I think: The president can feel as much personal moral responsibility as he likes. What will the systems around him let him do with that responsibility?

So often when we consider global catastrophes or natural disasters as responsible, empathic, suffering individuals, we end up stuck pathetically in the realm of affect. We know things are bad and we need to act to change them and we have no idea how. We don’t know what action even a president could take that would cut these knots we’ve so long tied. All we can do is talk about how bad it feels to be stuck—our fears and obligations and how it feels to contemplate them.

By the time we reach the epilogue of Unreality—a book written by an essayist considering the idea of catastrophe as an anxious, curious, empathic, suffering individual—Gabbert’s investigations culminate in banalities. “I don’t think most people are good, or bad, for that matter,” Gabbert says. “I think most people are neutral”:

It seems to me that “good people” can become “bad people” when provided the opportunity within an existing power structure—to claim and exert power at a deadly cost to others and get away with it.

I don’t think Gabbert needed to write this whole book to come to that conclusion. That could’ve been the premise she started from.

It led me to think we probably don’t need essayists to comment on this moment at all; all essays about how our current moment feels will be empty, reflexive, performative gestures that just don’t need to be made. And what we really need are critics and theorists who can give activists and laypeople an understanding of the power structures they live in and identify concrete ways to make those structures change, stop the people who exert power within them, and hold those people accountable.

In the epilogue to the book, as she considers the question of what we can ever know of the world, Gabbert writes of her attraction to the German biologist Jakob von Uexhull’s idea of the Umwelt—which is the name he gives to the information an animal picks up from its surroundings, often limited to just what the animal can sense given the equipment it has and what it immediately needs. Think of a tick: all it knows to pay attention to is the temperature and particular odors that will help it find blood. “Like a tick or a bat,” Gabbert adds, “we only know what we know.” But that seems wrong. At the risk of stating my own banality here, humans aren’t ticks or bats. They’re humans. They’re the one creature on this planet with a mind that is equipped to know what it doesn’t know and what it’ll need to figure out. And to pretend otherwise feels like dithering as we approach an event horizon.

I know Gabbert doesn’t have any answers to the questions of climate change or war or putatively democratic systems that no longer respond to the will of the people. No one person does. But to do so much pontificating instead is frustrating.

But I don’t mean to pile on. I’m essentially in Gabbert’s position myself. I didn’t go to many of the past summer’s protests either; I was generally too leery of getting or spreading COVID. I regularly write and think and talk more about problems I see than I act in ways that might solve those problems. I generally enjoyed this book. And I’m generally sympathetic to the authors accused of falling into the reflexivity trap—Katy Waldman’s term for the idea, often implied in contemporary essays and works of autofiction, that to be aware of your own privileged position is to be absolved of it; that awareness alone is sufficient. I liked Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror; I liked Anna Wiener’s Uncanny Valley; I like Sally Rooney’s novels, basic though they might be, even as the ranks of today’s literary critics have closed around the positions that her books don’t bear out her politics and aren’t worth the time the mainstream press gives them. Or more accurately, I feel empathy for those writers, and for Gabbert. I suspect we were formed by the same pressures.

Many of us writing today grew up under similar narrow, capitalist, rightward political horizons; we were given the same withered political vocabularies and feeble political imaginations. And so, today, there are many artists whose work doesn’t really reflect their stated politics; there are many (left) positions that are more easily stated than lived; there are many changes we want to see in this world that we have no real way to make. And often, all we can do is say how much we want to make them and confess over and over that we can’t. Doesn’t an individual’s ability to effect change depend on whether systems respond to her efforts? And do ours? To what extent can political orientations or commitments to combat climate change be meaningfully lived when political life for so many is voting once or twice every few years, for politicians who don’t listen to us or can’t or won’t deliver what we need, while systems stay gridlocked?

In her review of Trick Mirror, Lauren Oyler wrote that what people in the reflexivity trap often do is shield what is really a demonstration of their priorities and desires under the guise of “surviving” in a compromised world. And as Amber Husain wrote in The White Review, the sort of informed exceptionalism exhibited by Jia Tolentino or Anna Wiener, the apparent belief that if you write convincingly perceptively about the morally compromised systems you participate in, you can avoid being held to account for that, is not enough.* You have to interrogate your own desires, refuse to indulge the ones that make you complicit in an unethical world, and consciously choose to satisfy desires and imperatives that are productive or just. Having read The Unreality of Memory, I feel the desire to write about how we feel when we think about, say, the climate changing, the desire to dramatize that feeling, isn’t a productive desire. But it feels that way. And because it ends in a result, in a concrete thing like an essay or a book, it feels better than the impossible work of trying to act in a way that might curb climate change or mitigate the damage of our next fire season. That work, by contrast—it’s hard to figure out what it would look like. And just contemplating the issue is unsatisfying, difficult, grinding, humiliating. It hurts.

But that’s a pain we need. I think also of a recent conversation between Donald Glover and Michaela Coel in GQ, in which Glover says, “Every generation has a job they need to do,” and “the job is always the same, which is to plant a tree you won’t eat from.”

...you need to plant a tree right now. And you don’t get to eat from it. Maybe your kids don’t even get to eat from it. You just teach them to water it, but their kids get to eat from it. And you do or you go on, you transition, knowing you did the right thing.

Enough about how we feel; we know the answer is “bad.” And on to the question: what will we do, expecting no reward?

*The connections I’ve made here come courtesy of Haley Nahman’s “Maybe Baby” column: specifically, “#24: The Emily Ratajkowski effect,” in which Nahman writes about Emily Ratajkowski’s “Buying Myself Back” and the position of the culture worker who both profits from the culture and agitates against it. I’d read both Oyler’s piece and Husain’s as they came out, but I hadn’t made the connection until I saw it so well elaborated by Nahman.

[nataliecrown]

4x01 Recap - Echoes (The 100)

Alright folks, it’s time. My show has returned, and I am throwing myself back on this ride with wild abandon.

I’m adopting my Discussapalooza style from here on out. Which is to say that this recap is going to be very long. If there are any sections that you’d like me to pull out and post seperately, let me know. Otherwise, you have been warned - I like to go in depth.

We ready? LET’S GO.

Octavia feels right from the get go

  First     we need to talk about how stupid the Polis tower is, from a practical     standpoint. It’s one of those choices where this show went for BIG BIG BIG     without thinking of anything else. It is DUMB that they all got down     without incident with the elevator out. And like...next episode they are     back up there again??? AGSAJSABHFSAF.

Anyway,     the little wobble that Octavia has as we see her climbing down the last     chunk is hilarious to me because I feel it’s the only acknowledgment the     writers make to the ridiculously death defying feat they all just     accomplished? ANYWAY.

We     then get all the emotions when Octavia runs to Indra, and this     relationship means the actual world to me if I’m honest. When you look     back at how they started, and the genuine affection and respect between     them now - particularly from Indra’s side - it’s actually incredible. Plus     I am just STRAIGHT UP EUPHORIC that Indra is still around.

Their     interaction regarding Pike is really subtle, and I love it. As much as I     am sad to have lost Mike Beach (though he continues to be the absolute     best), I also really do not have an issue with Octavia killing him. He     executed Lincoln, and this world is messed up. I enjoy Octavia’s ‘I waited     until it was over line’ even though it’s only just true (she almost     screwed everybody over beforehand when she couldn’t control her urges),     but I think the delivery is spot on. It was a struggle for Octavia to hold     back. In the end, she needed it to be over. And Indra’s nod? Mostly, I see     understanding there. But I’ll keep an eye on where these two go this     season, because maybe there was also a little bit of sadness? We’ll see.

 Bellarke instantly blow my mind

  HONESTLY.     I’m not exaggerating when I flail over them standing next to each other.     It’s actually iconic at this point. STAND TOGETHER ALL THE TIME PLEASE.

Polis     is a mess. Would be super great if it would just...get blasted out of     existence sometime soon? *innocent emoji*

I     LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEIR OCTAVIA INTERACTION. I’M GONNA LIST WITHIN MY     LIST.

1. I     love that Clarke is looking to make him feel better, despite everything     else on their plates. That’s the first thing we get from Clarke in Season     4 - her reassuring Bellamy.

2. I     also love that Bellamy isn’t racing after Octavia to check in, to follow     up, or even just to keep an eye on her. We see this throughout the     episode, and I’ll talk about it more, but I really feel like the Blake     relationship is going to step up in a big way, and in a way that it needs     to. Bellamy is going to step back from Octavia, not from lack of love, but     from the perspective that she can take care of herself. And maybe, for the     first time in Bellamy’s life, he can lift a little of the burden of     responsibility off his shoulders (I mean, that’s a joke     obviously...because the world is ending, but you know).

3.     AND when Clarke mentions that people will believe Pike had it coming,     Bellamy responds with ‘maybe we all do.’ His head almost snaps around when     Clarke says it, and it’s clear that he’s thinking if Pike deserved it,     then so do I.

Okay,     so moving on. We’ve known for a long time that Clarke was going to tell     Bellamy before everyone else. I want to point it out again though.     Because.

It’s     Bellamy that suggests they hold back on sharing the end of the world news     until they have more facts, and Clarke points out that he’s afraid of how     people will react. Meg and I have just shared our podcast recap of 1x04,     so the episode is vivid in my mind and I LOVE how this moment calls back     to that episode. Back then Bellamy told Clarke ‘be smart about this’. She didn’t     listen, and things went a bit tits up. It was the end of that episode that     Bellamy and Clarke became partners with ‘from now on, we make the rules.’     And we see their evolution presented here. Clarke listens to Bellamy.

THEY     ARE STANDING VERY CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER JUST SO YOU KNOW.

Bellamy     loves to drop in shit jokes in terribad situations. I love it. It’s like     he’s constantly trying to lighten the weight on Clarke’s shoulders. Like     he cares for her happiness or some shit.

So     Clarke listens to Bellamy as he reassures her. It’s step by step Clarke,     one thing at a time. We get down, we go home, we figure it out (hey,     remember the 3x16 script revealing to us that Clarke thought of Bellamy as     she pulled the lever? And remember how she said ‘we’ll figure something     out, we always do.’ It’s a little bit like this sort of moment was EXACTLY     what she imagined) and we survive. We get a long shot of Clarke’s face     when Bellamy finished talking, and it is all about her looking at him and just     being so grateful for him. She needs him, more than anyone (yes, I     believe more than she needs Abby and yes I believe more than she needed     Lexa - sue me).

‘Thank     you, for keeping me alive.’ SO AFTER THE FLAILING IS DONE, there is a ton     to unpack here. Most obviously, Bob is a master of his face. Like, he does     the whole I AM TAKEN ABACK thing so goddamn well. There’s also a sadness     to Clarke that Eliza carries in this episode. She’s tired, and she’s     mourning, and she’s scared. It’s beautiful to me that she took this     moment, looking up at this stalwart beside her, and said those words. We     see her thank Raven later too, and I wonder if this is perhaps the legacy     of Clarke’s S3 arc. Love is weakness is truly gone. Will we see her be     more open in general now, knowing that they might all be dead in six     months anyway?

I     talked about this already, but I’ll go again because lbr this recap won’t     have anywhere near enough words in it if I don’t (L O L). I think we can     take this thank you in its most literal sense, which is probably how     Bellamy takes it. By that I mean that Clarke is thanking him for his solid     work in 3x15 and 3x16, and then for all the other times that he has     stepped in to save her. But I also think it throws back to her pulling the     lever in 3x16 again, especially when you consider the script. In that     scene, Clarke essentially chose life or death for everyone. It was     thinking of Bellamy that gave her the strength to survive. He doesn’t know     that, and he probably never will, but without him ALWAYS doing what he is     doing in this very scene Clarke might have chosen differently.

No     wonder they stick to each other like glue.

‘You     don’t make it easy.’ *giggles*

  I     like the confirmation that the people Lexa killed in the CoL are dead IRL.     I wonder if this is just put in there to tie up a loose end, or if it’s     going to be relevant later?

I     also like the spinning shot of Bellarke because I am who I am, and I am     not ashamed.

  CREDITS!     I always thought it was spelled Zach tbh. Surely they wouldn’t put a typo in     the credits for an actor’s name though? Right? RIGHT?

 Arkadia kru!

  THIS     SCENE WAS SO CUTE. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I’m like, give or take about     Marper, but their shuffle dancing was adorable.

Jasper     skidding in and pleading the chip was also adorable, but I’LL GET TO     JASPER LATER.

RAVEN.     HI RAVEN. HOW ARE YOU RAVEN. I LOVE YOU RAVEN.

Anybody     else notice that Raven is almost a little bit S1 Clark in this moment? The     others are taking a moment to chill, and savour their success. Raven is     all business. We’ve all heard that Raven is going to have more of a     leadership role this season, and I am already getting those vibes.

The     moment between Jasper and Raven is wonderful and heartbreaking. Their     scenes together last season were so lovely, and I really buy her checking     in on him as she does here. I also think everything about Jasper in this     moment is hella complex. I think he is happy that Raven is okay,     but I also suspect he is incredibly jealous. He looks at her and her     injury, knowing that she has ‘been through more than anyone’, and he sees     how capable she is, how helpful she is, AND ALIE upgraded her brain on top     of that? It must make him feel even worse about himself, even more     useless. He’s beating himself up for not being as good as she is. But it’s     not a competition, Jasper. It’s different people that deal with things in     different ways. Oh my god I’m talking to him like he can hear me. YOU’LL     BE OKAY JASPER.

‘There’s     nothing like a little pain to remind you that you’re alive.’ LET ME WEEP.     Also, NEVER say this to a person suffering from chronic pain. HOWEVER, as     somebody that does suffer from it...I adore this line. I know that might     sound like a contradiction, but this is the sort of shit that is inspiring     when coming from the right source. And Raven is that source. She made it     out, she survived. She can put things in perspective. Her pain is her     choice, her life is her choice. AH.

‘Wish     I could get an upgrade’ OH JASPER. I have complicated feelings about     Jasper in this episode. I’ll get to it later.

RAVEN     CHECKING THAT THE OTHERS HAVE LEFT AND THEN LETTING HERSELF REACT TO HER     PAIN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. THANK YOU SHOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I     refuse to speculate about Raven’s face fading into the skull, simply     because a world in which Raven dies is not a world that I believe will     ever exist. So I ain’t worried.

 Bravenlarke Rises

  Fucking     Jaha.

Kane,     you’re very kind. But ‘what have we done’? I don’t know if you can really take     any of the blame for the CoL.

Kabby!     Standing! People stand so well on this show.

Abby’s     mum senses tingle, and we get some more classic Bellarke/Kabby because     this show knows what it’s about and it’s FINE VESSELS.

And     then BRAVENLARKE RISES. Bellamy and Clarke step away from the adults to     chat to their BFF and there is SO MUCH HERE. MY GOD THIS RECAP IS GOING TO     BE SO LONG I AM SO SORRY. I CAN’T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU WILL READ THE WHOLE     THING. YIKES.

Also     worth noting: Kabby observing Bellarke as they walk away.

FIRST     AND FOREMOST - Raven wants to know if everyone is okay, AND ASKS AFTER     CLARKE. And then CLARKE THANKS HER. You guys, we have been so goddamn     deprived of Clarke and Raven. GIVE ME ALL OF IT PLEASE.

Clarke     thanking Raven is also nice from the perspective that the show is     acknowledging that Clarke wouldn’t have pulled any lever without Raven’s     smarts.

ALSO,     CLARKE PUTS BOTH HANDS OVER BELLAMY’S. NOTE THIS SHIT DOWN. I LIVE.

Bellarke     split up here for no other reason than to set up the following scene with     Echo, which honestly makes me laugh a lot.

ROAN     IS ALIVE. I mean, this isn’t news but let’s YAY over it anyway.

Okay,     so Echo grabs Clarke and Abby is all GASP and then from a million miles     away Bellamy storms over, and the FURY in his face honestly gives me     shivers. The point, the being held back by Kane, the ‘Bellamy, don’t’.     Everybody in this bar knows in their own way that threatening Clarke is     liable to set Bellamy the f off. And when you add the Echo/Gina to it all,     it becomes ever more intense.

Much     catching of Clarke. Much standing close.

 Setting up the politics

  Okay,     so Echo is not about Skaikru and Azgeda have the numbers to back up their     ire. Kane makes a lovely attempt at defending Clarke, but it doesn’t seem     to faze Echo at all. We then meet random ambassador with spectacular eyes,     and we then lose random ambassador when Echo slits her throat. I have a     bit of an issue with this scene if I’m honest, because it feels a bit     contrived. Echo JUST had a sword to Clarke’s throat, and no argument     actually won her over. Yet she happily murders random ambassador? I’d     argue that Echo spares Clarke because Bellamy is there and she feels     residual guilt for what happened at Mt Weather...but then, she seems more     than happy to see Clarke murdered later so that doesn’t add up.     Essentially, I see the writer’s hands at work here.

‘Looks     like saving the world will have to wait.’ *giggles* Also, HOW CLOSE ARE     YOUR FACES HONESTLY.

  Fucking     Jaha.

Oh,     hey Murphy! Nice to see you and your sass. And also nice to see you agree     with me on the fucking Jaha front.

This     Memori scene is super cute. I love the reminder that Emori was essentially     banished by the grounders because of her deformity. I love Murphy calling     his people his people, and thinking things are different now. I love how     earnest and honest her is with her. And her acceptance. BUT THEN I GET     SAD, BUT I’LL GET TO THAT LATER.

 Family Gathering

  So     Abby sees Kane look at his crucifixion wounds, and we all remember that he     was crucified because he wouldn’t let them hurt Abby. Paige nails Abby’s     guilt, and the whole exchange is wonderfully tender. The best part of this     scene is Clarke watching it happen. I love her little smile. She wants her     mum to be happy, especially if the world is ending in six months. I also     think there’s a little sadness in her expression. We can’t forget that     Clarke was reunited with Lexa literally...what..an hour or so before this?     I’m sure she’s thinking of Lexa here too.

KINDRA.     The hug was everything.

Bellamy     returns to Clarke’s side.

Octavia     is SO SASSY IN THIS EPISODE MY GOD.

There’s     a shot where Bellamy looks across at Clarke when she says ‘we have to save     Roan’ that I really enjoy. Just thought I’d point it out.

Abby’s     motherly intuition tells her that Clarke knows more than she does, but     before Clarke informs the group she looks to Bellamy. He nods. THEY ARE A     TEAM. And the truth is out there. They can’t afford a fight, nor do they     have time for it. They need to save Roan and form some sort of     truce with Azgeda if they have any hope of saving the world.

  FUN     FACT I actually did not at any point twig that it was Octavia in the bag,     and that Jaha was in on the team effort. I truly thought he was just off     doing some weird shit by himself. So I guess...I was pleasantly surprised?     Good...good for you, Jaha?

Can’t     say I was too emotionally impacted to see him get beat up though *shrug*.     I mean, it wasn’t pleasant but whatever.

 Bellamy, the Leader

  Personally,     I do not believe that Becho will happen. What I do see is the writer’s     using Echo, and their history, as a means to bring Bellamy back to the     forefront as a leader. Others have already mentioned the parallel to     Clarke and Lexa here, and I totally see it. Because Echo will only deal     with Bellamy, the show is allowed to pull back from just Clarke as     representative of Skaikru. It’s actually pretty clever, and gives Bellamy     a ton of agency outside of his partnership with Clarke. So, kudos.

GUYS     I WAS JUST SO PLEASED WITH OCTAVIA THIS EPISODE. All the pre season stuff     made it sound like she was going to be off on her own, and doing her own     murderous thing. But her murderous thing is totally for her people! I love     it! And yes, it is completely implausible that Octavia is suddenly a     highly skilled ninja. I absolutely agree. But also, whatever. I accepted     her sudden level up back in S2. I’m over it.

ABBY’S     REACTION TO OCTAVIA’S MURDERS WAS HONESTLY AMAZING. I LAUGHED VERY HARD.     More Abby/the Blakes please and thank you. Make the family complete.

Okay,     so Murphamy lives. I love how Emori says she doesn’t like this, and     Murphy’s reaction is IT’S OKAY, BELLAMY IS RIGHT THERE. And then as he     approaches, Indra has to TELL BELLAMY TO PAY ATTENTION. Ahaha. Amazing.

CAN     WE TALK ABOUT INDRA AND BELLAMY FOR A SECOND? LIKE. The last time they     were alone together, Bellamy was chained to a wall and she hated his guts.     And I mean, she probably still sort of hates his guts. But wow, progress.     And progress on Bellamy’s part too. I actually think it says a lot for his     self worth that he can stand there with her on such a level. It probably     helps that his dad, and her BFF, is there too but still. IMPORTANT.

‘I     know how you feel about her, but you can’t lose control’ was clearly put     in to remind people that are less obsessed than us that Bellamy has a     pretty solid reason to hate Echo. Much like we understand Octavia’s quest     for vengeance re. Pike, we could understand Bellamy feeling the same here.     But Bellamy has come out of S3 in a much better place than he started it,     that’s for sure.

‘That’s     probably because you’re not an idiot.’ Oh, Murphy.

AND     THEN I GET REALLY SAD YOU GUYS. Bellamy gives Murphy his gun, in a     throwback to S2 and like...I just....I GET it. It’s totally in character     for Murphy to look at this situation brewing, to think of Emori, and to     say screw it. IT TOTALLY IS. But I was really, really looking forward to     Murphy being back with the group. And EVEN MORE THAN THAT I was looking     forward to Emori meeting the group! Clarke and Emori scenes. Raven and     Emori scenes. Bellamy and Emori scenes. GIVE IT TO ME. So I can’t help but     be disappointed with Murphy here. And I really hope Memori aren’t off on     their own for long. Maybe Murphy will have a change of heart? Maybe Memori     have started back towards Arkadia? Maybe they will bump into Bellarke on     the way? DOUBLE DATE?

‘I     GOT THIS’ means everything, as does Bellamy’s power strut. HE’S BACK IN     THE GAME. I’m sure he’s still full of self loathing, but it’s not     crippling him like it was. He is finding his self worth again.

I     actually don’t find it at all surprising that Echo seems to genuinely care     for Bellamy’s opinion. She saw his courage and his strength and his     compassion in Mt Weather. He saved her and all of the others that were     trapped there. He is a good, in her eyes. But as Bellamy says, it’s not     that easy. At the end of the day, Gina died because Echo betrayed Bellamy.     You don’t just apologise for something like that. And while I don’t     personally care for Gina (so so so scandalous - note: I care that the     writers created the character just to kill her, but it was so obviously     going down that way that I never formed an attachment. Sue me) her memory     won’t just disappear.

Bob     nails this scene by the way. He told the others that he had this, and he     does. He IS control. But you can still see his anger in the stiff way he     holds himself, the furrow of his brow, the occasional gulp, and the     deliberate way that he talks.

OH     LOOK. OCTAVIA LOVES HER BROTHER AND DOESN’T WANT HIM TO DIE.

Bellamy’s     reaction to the Trikru massacre is ALSO on point, and I like that Echo had     no idea he was there. She almost looks a little bit excited by it. Murder     clearly turns her on.

‘The     alternative is war. Is that what you want?’ makes me think of the Bellarke     fight in 3x05 and I had to mention it because if I am feeling these     emotions, you should be too.

Oh,     btw, during all of this Clarke and Abby are trying to save Roan. I bring     it up because I LOVE THE MOTHER/DAUGHTER BONDING IN THIS EP. GRIFFIN LADIES     FTW.

And     then we see the sliiiiightest break in Bellamy’s composure. Echo turns to     leave, and he grabs her arm saying ‘I wasn’t done talking’’ and the     delivery does things to me. But then, oops. Bellamy is on the floor with a     knife at his throat. And the ANGER. The ANGER in his eyes. OOF.

OH     LOOK. OCTAVIA LOVES HER BROTHER AND DOESN’T WANT HIM TO DIE PT II

‘Abby     will come through.’ Kane’s faith in her is beautiful

OH     LOOK. OCTAVIA LOVES HER BROTHER AND DOESN’T WANT HIM TO DIE PT III

I     hate writerly contrivance, so I hate that Roan wakes up just as Echo is     about to chop Clarke’s head off. It’s dumb. Don’t be dumb, writers.

ABS.

CLARKE     give the guy a second before you pounce.

Also,     thank you so very much for hiring Mr McGowan. You did me a solid.

I’m     Niytavia for lyf but noting Octavia’s take no BS ‘we just saved your damn     life’ juuuuust in case.

 Sex and giggles and SADNESS

  The     Marper scene is cute. Like...I don’t know, it came out of nowhere so I’m     not emotionally invested. But I want both characters to be happy, so yay.

Raven     interrupting them eternally is my fave. Her delivery of ‘we’re all gonna     die’ is also my fave.

Okay,     let’s tackle Jasper being about to kill himself. It’s clear that the     writers were going to kill Jasper off in S3, but decided against it. Cool.     I’m glad. So why go for an attempt of suicide here after the lovely Jonty     scene in the S3 finale? Because it’s not just that they postponed the     storyline, because Jasper DOESN’T kill himself. It’s NEW story. I’ll jump     ahead now to Raven revealing the radiation truth to them (kinda loving     that ALL the delinquents know btw) and Jasper’s reaction. I personally     kinda like it? I mean, I’m withholding judgement until I’ve seen more. But     in this episode alone? I like that he has  a different reaction to     the others, and that - weirdly - knowing that he’s doing to die makes him     want to live? The thing that stops me getting really excited is being     fairly convinced that Jasper WILL die this season, but if they handle the     death right (I still have faith) then I might actually like this arc? I     JUST DON’T KNOW BASICALLY. (Jasper’s soundtrack theme is so haunting and     wonderful).

Devon     is really knocking it out of the park btw.

  I’m intrigued     by what will come of Echo and Roan. I’d pin Echo as the season’s villain,     but from Tasya’s interviews it doesn’t seem to be what’s coming.

Will     Roan cauterise his own wounds with blades once per season? Excellent.

Stupid     crown.

Down     to learn more about Roan’s family though. Siblings? Grandpa Theo?

 Hell in a cell (not really an apt subheading, I just wanted to use it)

  All     right, let’s do this.

The     conversation between Abby and Clarke is important on so many levels.     Firstly, these two haven’t had such a moment in so long. It’s just plain     nice to see. It’s also INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT to see Clarke talk about her     love for Lexa, in a room full of people, and to have her mother just smile     and understand. It ain’t no thing, and that’s quality representation for     so many people.

I’ve     also already mentioned that while we’ve had months to get over 3x16, the     events we witnessed have JUST HAPPENED in the shows timeline. Seeing Lexa     and then losing her again is fresh in Clarke’s mind. I mean, she hasn’t     even had one night to sleep on it. Of course, she’s upset.

AND     I talked about this in Season 3 but I will never understand why so many     people give Clarke shit for being attached to the chip. I know we’re all     different, but it’s really quite normal to attach emotional significance     to objects. In this case, I’d say it’s particularly justified.

The     camera then hops to Kane watching Bellamy, and then closes in on Bellamy’s     face. I’ve seen all the different interpretations, so here’s my take.

Overall,     I think Bellamy is feeling compassion and empathy for somebody that he     loves. He doesn’t want Clarke to be sad or hurting! It hurts him to see     her that way, and to not be able to help. I do think that there is a layer     of something else there though, but I’m loathe to call it jealousy.     Jealousy sounds so...so negative. I am very much in the camp that Bellamy     is aware, on some level, that he is in love with Clarke. But I also     believe that he isn’t remotely thinking about it ever actually happening     between them, and he’s okay with that. So not jealousy as such...but a     twinge, let’s say. A slight twisting of the stomach and a twinge of the     heart.

I’ve     also seen the suggestion that he’s looking towards Octavia, and eh. I     mean, perhaps. But for me the most important thing about this scene is     that the writers chose to include it, and chose to showcase it in the way     that they did. I think if they wanted us to know that Bellamy was thinking     about Octavia, we would have seen a shot of her after Bellamy. We didn’t.     Which tells me that the intention of the scene was for us to connect     Clarke to Kane watching Bellamy to Bellamy reacting to Clarke.

In     which case - SQUEE.

And     then we get my absolute fave moment, because it was one of the few     Bellarke scenes that wasn’t spoiled in one way or another - and that is     Bellamy’s freak out when Echo takes Clarke. There’s honestly not much to     say at this point. Obviously, he’d react that way. Obviously, Bob would     nail it. But I’d like to draw attention to the writer’s intention once     more here. We get a brief shot of Abby’s reaction, but the majority of the     scene focuses on Bellamy’s reaction. Important.

 Clarke, Crown, Chip

  ‘It’s     always something with you, isn’t it.’ ‘This will be good.’ LOL FOREVER.

I     can’t wait for Clarke and Roan to be BFFs.

‘Science     is our only hope’ HEY IT’S LIKE THE REAL WORLD.

Clarke     giving up the chip is a lovely scene. She does it for the sake of all, and     ultimately I doubt it was that much of a struggle for her. Mostly, I think     it makes her sad. Poor Clarke.

I     also do think this a symbolic closing of the door re. Lexa. Which isn’t to     say I don’t think she will be mentioned or referenced again this season,     but it will be sporadic and only in relation to pushing forward other     relationships or story arcs.

THE     COALITION IS FORMED.

Until     another Nightblood ascends? Where you at Luna.

Once     again, we get a shot of Bellamy taking in Clarke’s reaction to the flame.     The two of them are so in tune, it’s ridiculous.

We     also get a shot of the woman who shouts out during Roan’s speech, and then     Indra looking around. So...Indra’s daughter, yes? If not her daughter,     then somebody significant. VERY excited to meet her next episode. And I’m     intrigued as to how she might interact with Octavia.

 The youth inherit the earth!!!!!!!

  So     the last scene with Echo bothers me just because I think Echo’s line about     trust is stupid after everything she has done, at such an early point.     Like...maybe if you had just saved his life (something I feel will     inevitably happen at some point this season) and that just makes the scene     feel really obvious. I am adamant that there will be no romance here, but     I do see a future where the show will take Bellamy towards forgiving her.     Please show, handle this well.

On     the other hand, if I hadn’t read Tasya’s interview, I might take Bob’s     delivery of ‘I doubt it’ as the final nail in the coffin, and confirmation     that this is done. It’s cold, collected. Perfect.

Family     pow wow!!

Octavia     sass and then, ‘this is serious, O’ and again I sense a different Bellamy     here in relation to Octavia. Further emphasised by his leaving without     insisting on a hug, or even a lingering look. It’s like...he’s there, and     he’s observing, and he’s contributing...but the relationship between them     is on her now. Or something.

This     is emphasised again by the parental goodbyes to Bellarke. Clarke and Abby     is lovely as ever, so now let me turn to the scene between Kane and     Bellamy.

I     was surprised to see there was so much ‘controversy’ over this scene. I     definitely did not take it as Kane admonishing Bellamy, or Kane implying     that Bellamy did not deserve to live or that everything was Bellamy’s     fault. I very much took it as Kane speaking from past experience, and     knowing that Bellamy has a tendency to blame himself. It’s advice from the     heart, and well meaning.

That     being said, it has all the subtlety of being smashed in the face with a     frying pan. That’s my issue with it. It reminds me of Bellamy spelling out     his arc to Pike in 3x16. I was okay with that one because fandom last     season had proven that it needed to be spelled out. I was hoping we could     do away with such over explaining this season though.

I     would have much preferred Kane placing a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder, the     two of them nodding at each other, Kane saying ‘take care of yourself’, and     then A GODDAMN HUG.

When     Kane says ‘you’ll deserve to survive’ and Abby looks up at him - HEY     SEASON 1 THROWBACK I SEE YOU.

Bellamy’s     ‘I hope so’ is really important to me. He WANTS to live, to survive, to     earn happiness again.

The     shot of Clarke witnessing the moment is ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. again,     they are just so in tune with each other, with their emotions, with their     headspaces. Slay me.

Anyway.

So.

Like.

The     shot of Clarke and Bellamy walking away framed by Kabby!!!!!!!!!!!

‘THE     YOUTH INHERITED THE EARTH.’

I

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I     ALMOST THREW MY LAPTOP WHICH WOULD HAVE SUCKED CAUSE I JUST BOUGHT IT

WHAT     KIND OF EPIC SHIT

I’ve     always said that Bellarke will usher in a new age on earth, but     like….YOOOOO I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SO EXPLICITLY STATED ON SHOW.     FUCKING YES.

I     also LOVE Abby’s ‘they have six months to save it.’ Gone are the days of     her trying to step in and be an adult for the children. Kabby are stepping     back. They are keeping an eye on the politics of things. Saving the world?     That’s for Bellarke and the delinquents.

‘SO     WHAT NOW, PRINCESS?’

Look,     here’s the deal. I am so okay with Princess coming back in this moment.     FIRSTLY, after an episode which really emphasises the S1ness of Bellarke     in so many ways, the use of the old nickname really drives that home. But     it also drives home how far they have come since then. It’s a light     hearted moment, a joke, a tool again for Bellamy to lift Clarke’s burdens.

(Plus,     Jason recently confirmed that the whole point of the Princess nickname     between Bellarke was Han x Leia inspired so like HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THAT.)

AND     IT WORKS. She is so clearly surprised, and delighted by it! She struts,     she smirks! Walking out of Polis with Bellamy calling her Princess has her     feeling all kinds of badass.

And     I also love how lots of you have pointed out the contrast between everyone     else, even Kane, calling her Wanheda. I LOVE IT AND I AGREE. Before Polis,     before the grounders, Bellamy was there - and he’s still there now.

Fucking     Jaha.

  Oh     hey, radiation. Sweet. Also, Egypt. People. World. Countries. LET’S GO     SOMEWHERE.

 SO THAT WAS MY RECAP. WHO’S STILL HERE WITH ME? NOBODY? GOOD.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR 4X02.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #109 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. No.

Format: DVD

1) The early 2000s have a lot of truly underrated gems, especially from Disney. Along with The Emperor’s New Groove and Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire is probably one of the most underrated and overlooked films in their catalogue. Which is a true shame because it is such a great film.

2) This film opens with the city of Atlantis being washed away by a great flood, but if there was originally an alternate opening featuring vikings with the Shepard’s Journal in search of the fabled city. I prefer the opening we have, but you can watch the viking prologue if you want.

3) Michael J. Fox as Milo Thatch.

I saw this movie when it first came out in June of 2001. I fell in love with Back to the Future in February of 2009. So when I realized Marty McFly and Milo Thatch were one in the same my love for this film only grew. Fox brings a sincere enthusiasm to Milo, and like with the best voice acting you forget that you’re listening to Michael J. Fox. He BECOMES Milo, the guy who has to deal with everyone doubting him while still clinging true to his beliefs. It is a great character supported by an incredible actor.

4) There is a nice juxtaposition between how Helga sets up Mr. Whitmore (“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Much.”) and the quirky little nut Mr. Whitmore actually is.

An enigmatic man who I would’ve liked to know more of, Whitmore is a little eccentric but comes off as a good hearted man. His relationship with Milo’s grandfather seems to be the defining thing in his life, so much so that he’s funding a multi-million (1914 million) dollar expedition to find a myth. John Mahoney (best known for the role of Frasier’s father on Frasier) gives a strong performance in his little bit of time, but this film is filled with strong voice over performances so it is no wonder his stacks up.

5) This line was improvised by Michael J. Fox:

Milo [after he throws up from being seasick]: “Carrots. Why is it always carrots? I didn’t even have carrots!”

6) Animated films tend to be short and with the added benefit of exaggeration need to establish personalities of supporting characters IMMEDIATELY. This is very true of the expedition’s crew. This starts with Jim Varney as Cookie, a hillbilly type who fits Varney’s comedic styling very nicely. Varney passed away before filming was complete, leaving some lines to have a stand in, but his life is in Cookie all the way.

Helga: “The men need their four basic food groups.”

Cookie [holding up three fingers]: “I’ve got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whiskey, & lard!”

7) Oh my god Vinny.

Every line out of Vinny’s mouth is glorious! Voiced by Don Novello, Novello makes Vinny his own in the same way that James Woods made Hades his own in Hercules. I saw a behind the scenes featurette for this film way back when that said Novello improv-d a lot of lines and most of them are included in the film. Vinny is hysterical, with his penchant for blowing things up and dead pan delivery. The crew is made up of a bunch of great individuals & Vinny is no exception.

8) Rourke...

Rourke is the captain of the expedition and - after the film’s twist - turns out to be the main villain. Voiced by James Garner, Rourke is honestly at his most interesting towards the end when he can be a ruthless bad guy. Up until that point he’s a pretty good commander and seems like an honest man. But looks can be deceiving.

9) There are so many jokes you don’t get in these movies when you were a kid (just wait until I do Shrek). For example:

Mole [about his dirt from different countries]: “England must never merge with France!”

10) Although Vinny is awesome, there’s a good chance that Sweets is my favorite crew member in the film.

He’s fast talking, genuinely kind, a good doctor, and when the crew needs to start acting like bad guys he’s the first to abandon Rourke and his selfish quest (although much more quietly than the other characters). Phil Morris - like the other actors - breathes such life and personality into Sweets that you don’t even question that he’s real.

11) I love the wit in this film.

Sweets [presenting Milo with the vials presented above]: “Here, I’m going to need you to fill these up.”

Milo: “WITH WHAT!?”

12) And to round out the crew, Audrey.

Like most of the crew, we learn more about Audrey in a pivotal scene later. But when we first meet her she’s already impressive. Just a teenager, Audrey is the head engineer on the expedition and tough as nails. She knows her shit and is tough as hell, but that’s not why she’s awesome. Well, that’s not the ONLY reason she’s awesome. But more on that later.

13) The Leviathan.

Mike Mignola, the creator and artist behind the character Hellboy, is credited as a production designer on this film. Nowhere is his influence more clearly scene than the leviathan, the mechanical sea beast meant to defend the entrance to Atlantis. It is an impressive feat of imagination and animation, a creature which is truly menacing in both size and design. The leviathan and its attack on the submarine crew could quite well be the best part of this film.

13.5) Why does a science expedition have battle stations? I mean, now we know because they’re mercenaries. But did this not raise any red flags?

14) God bless Packard. I’m not even sure what her role on the ship is besides announcer, but god bless her.

15) The pivotal scene for so many of these characters in this film is when Milo eats with them for the first time and we get their backstory.

Sweets’ of mixed descent, part black part Native American (I believe he said he’s Navajo). He studied to be a doctor when he got enlisted in the army.

Audrey’s father wanted sons, one to run his auto shop and another to become world boxing champion. Her sister has a shot at the title.

Vinny’s family owned a flower shop and when the business next door blew up, “It was like a sign from god! I found myself in that ‘boom.’”

And then of course we get this line.

Milo: “What’s Mole’s story?”

Sweets: “Trust me on this one. You don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did. And now I'm tellin' you, you don’t wanna know.”

You see THIS is what fleshes out these characters. Its this one scene which makes them more than jokes or stereotypes or archetypes, but real people. We get their conflict, their history. We learn of Audrey’s family, of Vinny’s boredom with flowers, or Sweets’ history in the army. THIS is what makes the film standout in the way it does.

16) Kida.

It’s too bad Atlantis didn’t do too well at the box-office, otherwise Kida might take her place among the official Disney Princess line. Along the same lines as Mulan, Kida is a warrior princess. A woman who can kick ass but also loves her father and her people very dearly. Cree Summer is an accomplished actress in the voice over world, with Kida possibly being one of her finest roles. Kida is tough but never mean, curious but never overbearing, capable but able to form a meaningful relationship with Milo (while also not being too over the top lovey dovey), and just an all around great character.

17) Hey look, its Spock!

Leonard Nimoy has had a number of voice over roles, particularly in the 21st century. Its nice hearing him in this, even if we don’t get to spend too much time with the king.

18) So you know the trope of a 100+ year old vampire forming a slightly weird relationship with a much younger woman?

Well...

19) The betrayal of the crew wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much as it does if it weren’t for the scene where we get all their backstories.

Notably we don’t get the backstories of the two most evil characters in the film: Rourke & Helga. This is when Rourke becomes REALLY interesting and when James Garner has a lot of fun as the bad guy. He’s a brute! A bully! He’s ruthless, pretty much kills the king, beats on Milo when he’s down, all while cracking a jock and flexing his impressive muscles for a 60+ year old man. Rourke doesn’t get enough credit as a Disney bad guy in my opinion.

20) I love this.

Milo [after Rourke asks him to translate better]: “I know, why don’t you translate AND I’LL WAVE THE GUN AROUND!”

I live for heroes telling bad guys who are “in control” to f*** off.

21) The entire crystal chamber scene is just absolutely gorgeous. The early 2000s were noteworthy for frequent mingling of hand drawn and computer animation, with Atlantis being one of the finest examples of it.

Also this shot is gorgeous:

22) I never got this line.

Rourke (after his crew decide to stick with Milo & the Atlanteans): “PT Barnum was right.”

Only now do I know one of Barnum's famous quotes is, "There's a sucker born every minute." And I had to google it.

22.5) Fun fact: Joss Whedon worked on the story for this film! For you Whedonites out there, doesn’t “PT Barnum was right.” sound like a very Whedon-y line?

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

23) Okay, as a child and even now I was OBSESSED with crystalized Rourke.

Like that image is just very memorable to me, especially after Rourke was supposedly killed by being encased in crystal. It’s too bad we only got a minute or so of it before the airship crashed, but damn that’s just the coolest thing to me. If there are any Kingdom Hearts fans reading this, imagine this: A Rourke boss fight, where after you beat him the first time you have to fight his crystal form and its an even tougher fight.

24) And of course Milo stays in Atlantis at the end, because it is what he and his grandfather sent their entire lives searching for. What would be the point of returning to the surface where either A) no one will believe him, or B) people will believe him and try to take advantage of this culture they found? It’s a great ending which makes a lot of sense.

I love Atlantis. It’s one of my favorite Disney films, but it maybe wouldn’t be if it weren’t so underrated. If you’re a fan of action, adventure, Disney, animation, or heck, even Stargate, I think you’ll enjoy this film.

[rapfornication]

A List of a Bunch of Songs We Liked by Siya Mbatha & Norman

2016, what a year. Included in this list are the emotions and memories that came with these songs. Here is a list that attempts to consolidate a most uniquely strange year .Fuck Donald Trump and enjoy the links to other pieces we thought you might enjoy too. And also fuck Donald Trump. 

Danny Brown – When It Rain 

Produced By Paul White Album: Atrocity Exhibition

One of the more left field songs that still somehow has an underlying jitty foot-light feel to it. It sounds like ‘Dip’ if it grew up in a dark basement and suffered from crippling anxiety. Danny Brown matches the atmosphere with some of his most vivid, impressive writing to date as he describes Detroit as a city that sees no change but gentrification, grannies getting robbed and more guns than necessary. Unforgettable.

Kendrick Lamar - untitled 02 | 06.23.2014.

Produced By Yung Exclusive & Cardo Album: untitled unmastered.

Cornrow Kenny brought out the circus tricks without losing his seriousness. The build-up is one captivating performance but once his voice swings into high pitched, the stunting and trumpets go into overdrive and you’re left pleasantly stunned. Get God on the phone.

Fat Joe & Remy Ma Feat. French Montana & Infa Red - All The Way Up

Produced By Cool & Dre & Edsclusive Album: Plata O Plomo

They say regionalism is dead but this all NY affair begs to differ. Cool and Dre provide the bass and unforgettable horns and the legends (plus Montana) rip it apart like a swaggier version of The Avengers. Remy Ma came back and ignited desperately needed fire.

Fat Joe & Remy Ma Feat. Infa-Red, Jay Z & French Montana -  All The Way Up (remix)

Produced By Cool & Dre & Edsclusive

 Lean Back left a lasting legacy, even for the millennials like my whack self who remembers slogans like Terror Squad, before Khaled was Billy Ocean, back when Fat Joe had the red parka in the video

"Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is". Lemonade the album that I still haven't listened to has just dropped and every beyhive fan on Twitter was up in arms mad that Jay Z was getting his lemonade from a woman named Becky -if you're into that kinda thing. And that’s all Hov was gonna do in terms of speaking on it. One more time, let it sink in. Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is. He pretty much ethered Beyoncé if you think about it.

Rihanna – Needed Me

Produced By Kuk Harrell & DJ Mustard Album: ANTI

For the first time in her long career, Rihanna sounded liberated. ‘Needed Me’ amplifies the dark, sexual charisma she always displayed in ways that feel less put-on (Rated-R, basically) and more like self-expression. A fantastic wonky Mustard beat gives her room to remind her past flame who really was doing who a favour. Savagery personified in one song. Oh, that shot of Robyn in a lacy blue dress, gun in hand, looking out to the beach? Iconic

BBNG Feat. Samuel T. Herring – Time Moves Slow

Produced By BADBADNOTGOOD Album: IV

It’s been great watching BBNG grow into their own. The legendary Sam Herring lends his heartfelt voice to this perfectly crafted number. Personally, it got me through a messy situationship. Unreciprocated love makes it feel like time is moving slow.

Kid Cudi Feat. Travis Scott - Baptized In Fire

Produced By Mike Dean & Plain Pat Album: Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin'

This is the most Kid Cudi Kid Cudi has sounded for a long time. And it's scary to figure that your preference for an artist is derived in their articulation of their personal pain and struggles, I mean it's why we fuck with a Basquiat right? But here, here it's like Cudi just wanted to make his number one fan Travis Scott happy. The reserved role that La Flame takes in this feels like that, like he's soaking the moment in. The production overall sound is very reminiscent of Man On The Moon, if not a remake considering Plain motherfucking Pat, Mike Dean, La Flame and Cudder were all on this, SQUAD.

Schoolboy Q – JoHn Muir

Produced By Sounwave Album: Blank Face LP

Deadly basslines and triumphant horns score Q’s coming of age tale to churn out one of the best songs on ‘.Blankface’. Can’t help but poorly crip walk when this album cut comes on.

Kemba – Already

Produced By Frank Drake Album: Negus

Honestly, one could have chosen any song on Kemba’s often brilliant LP, ‘Negus’ but ‘Already’ takes the cake for two reasons: it’s Frank Duke’s hardest beat since ‘Fuckin’ Up The Count’ and the artist sounds angry, dissatisfied and wounded by the awful recurring problems surrounding race. Isn’t that how we all felt in this bizarre year?

Samiyam Feat. Earl Sweatshirt - Mirror

Produced By Samiyam Album: Animals Have Feelings

This song was supposed to come right after Faucet but looking in this in totality it's fitting that it only dropped in 2016, a year later. A resolute Earl spits his way through his insecurities and imperfections "despite how they praising your face I'mma make do!". Earl's raps are never really about us, mans just telling his story and again we find ourselves in it. Looking in the mirror, seeing the only the nigga we wanted to be. It's not angry, it's aggressively encouraging.

Isaiah Rashad – Park

Produced By Park Ave. & D. Sanders Album: The Sun's Tirade

Trying to follow the topics Rashad dives into is genuinely exciting. In lesser hands, it just wouldn’t work but he’s always saved by the mere fact that he’s a compelling writer. Over fluttering hi hats and knocking sparse bass, he compares himself to Nicki Minaj and Guwop, reveals sexual infidelity while denouncing his savagery and still sneaks in discerning bars about fatherhood and religion. What really trips one out is how effortless it all sounds.

Noname – Freedom Interlude

Produced By Phoelix & Saba Album: Telefone

Out the shadows, Noname took her spot as one the more talented rappers of her generation. ‘Freedom Interlude ‘  is all her strengths wrapped in one warm song. Her intricate soliloquies spill over some steady drums and calming chords as she wanders and aches about Bill Cosby, perception, motherhood, becoming and everything in between.

Jeff Chery – Salty

Produced By Stefan Green

The cliché goes: if you don’t have haters, you aren’t doing anything noteworthy. So, naturally, songs about them are probably my favourite. Nothing like glorious flexing as a defence mechanism to truly propel a song and Chery leans into his naysayers over woozy bass and autotune.

J. Cole – Neighbors

Produced By J. Cole Album: 4 Your Eyez Only

Certain people will always let prejudices rule their perception of others. As a young black man, the hurtful reminders creep up on you every time who walk pass a car and the white person inside frantically locks their door or when you call your friends for a get together and your racist nearby residents bring the police to your doorstep to break it up. Cole explores this reality in a way that’s both relatable and fittingly hopeless. No matter who or where you are, the burden of being black is sometimes too heavy.

DJ Khaled Feat. Drake - For Free

Produced By Jordan Ullman & Nineteen85 Album: Major Key

I didn't want Khaled and Drake to have another anthem so they made another anthem. And as audacious as Drizzy Drake Rogers might be, as irritating as his love "Serana, Rihanna and JLo in one year" life might be, this is a really nice song. Like those moments after when you're feeling yourself, appreciating your agility wanting to ask the person next to you “... Is this sex so good I shouldn't have to fuck for free?"

Ma-E & AKA – Lie 2 Me

Produced by: Brian Soko, Mr Kamera & Ma-E 

Ma- E is basically your uncle who tries way too hard to look/sound ‘hip’ but still somehow pulls it without coming off corny. This ‘Township Counsellor’ gem hides the lingering insecurity of being rich/famous and always wondering if people like you for you or what you offer. Roping in SA’s erratic egoistic makes perfect sense as the pair smash this one out the park.

Ka – Just

Produced By Ka Album: Honor Killed the Samurai

Gangster turned firefighter, Ka writes like how one would imagine if they found themselves in a ‘I Am Legend’ type world. Even the pragmatic, bare-knuckle beats can’t dull the emotionally profound bars about backstabbers, dead loved ones, poverty and unfulfilled potential. Guilt more than anything invades this samurais’ nightmares.

Lil Yachty - One Night (Extended) 

Produced by TheGoodPerry Album: Lil Boat

It's really the most pleasant mean way to tell a hoe she ain't no wifey, matter of fact to tell anyone she ain't no wifey. But the video is tight tho, very Odd Future 2011-esq and very much Lil Yachty's assertion that he's pretty much here to do whatever the fuck he wants with this hip hop thing, and even scarier is that you actually can't stop him. Hook hella catchy tho.

Cousin Stizz Feat. Larry June – Down Like That

Produced By Puff Daddy Album MONDA

Billed as a showcase of star potential, Stizzy breaks out of the seriousness that drives ‘MONDA’ for some old fashioned hijinks. But Larry June truly murks this sizzling beat with one of the verses of the year. Who else can deliberately rap off beat, admit and end the bar with cold ‘fuck rap’?

Belly Feat. 2 Chainz, The Weeknd & Yo Gotti - Might Not (Remix)  

Produced By Merlin Watts, DaHeala & Ben Billions

Between the time the original and now Belly had delivered consistently cold bars embodied in solid projects twice. And hip hops heavy hitters and OGs aren't asleep to this, Belly's signed to Roc Nation. Everyone on here does their part but it's 2 Chainz who steals the show with his playful but vicious flow with audacious lines like, "IF YOU LOVE ME TAT MY NAME ON YOUR UTERUS!". Belly comes through cold tapping into the drug taking, model fucking persona The Weeknd had before he went full pop on us. And while Yo Gotti's verse is otherwise forgettable, mans didn't go down without a fight. 

Young Thug - Digits/Swizz Beats

Produced By Wheezy Album: JEFFERY

Thug’s output makes it hard to pick a favourite but these two highlight why I love Slime’s style. He’s a unique, eccentric singular voice that constantly defies rap norms and conjures up memorable hooks with ease.

A$AP Mob Feat. A$AP Rocky, A$AP Ant, A$AP Ferg, A$AP Nast, A$AP Twelvyy & Juicy J  - Yamborghini High

Produced By Hector Delgado Album: Cozy Tapes Vol. 1: Friends

First off, s/o and daps to A$AP Mob for executing skits on a tape the way we remember skits on a tape, niggas too fucking cozy. It's the type of contextualising taking us back to Pesos. A corner store in Harlem. Second, you gotta want to believe that Yams in heaven tripping the fuck out not only watching the most tumbler-esque video but fact that the whole tape is not only an ode to Yams but also the preservation of his legacy.

Denzel Curry – ULT

Produced By Finatik N Zac, Nick Leon & Ronny J Album Imperial

The most gifted pick on 2016’s XXL Freshmen List. ‘ULT’ is the perfect song if you’re unfamiliar with Curry’s work. It’s high tempo and ferocious coupled with unyielding intelligence. Denzel sounds unflinching in the face of racial profiling and police brutality as he basks in the idea of unity. The chorus carries its 2Pac influence proudly. Revolt music.

Chance The Rapper feat. Saba - Angels 

Produced By The Social Experiment & Lido   Album Coloring Book

Chance is that guy, he either irks you or like Obama he's on your playlist(s). So this song found its way onto mine. This is the soundtrack to my success, the background music to scenes of triumph, the sound of joy, a thugs prayer of gratitude ..that's this song. Pain is beautiful but it takes real skill to articulate happiness. 

 ASAP Mob - Telephone Calls Feat.  Yung Gleesh, Playboi Carti, Tyler, The Creator & A$AP Rocky

Produced By Plu2o Nash Album Cozy Tapes Vol. 1: Friends

The best thing about this song outside the quotable, outside Tyler stepping his flow up, outside walk Gleesh walk and outside "POST MAN, who dis?" is A$AP Rocky's verified lyrics where he writes about Tyler "I wish I knew this nigga my whole life" ❤

Frank Ocean Feat. KOHH – Nikes

Produced By Malay Ho, Om'Mas Keith & Frank Ocean Album: Blonde

Frank’s writing displays vulnerable humanity that we all try and tap into on our best days. ‘Nikes’ is filled with hilarious shit talking, short eulogies to passed peers and kin, lines about doing lines and trying to stay young. Life in your 20’s captured in 5 minutes.

Isaiah Rashad - Free Lunch

Produced By Cam O'bi Album: The Sun's Tirade

 Damn, I hate to say this but drugs and depression gave depth to this man’s music and made it interesting. After Clivia Demo, I had feared that under the shadow of TDE/Kendrick hype, that like other almost kinda famous sorta artists we were going to lose him, collateral damage so to speak. But instead Rashad in the most cliche of ways turned tragedy into triumph. 

Skepta – Man(Gang)

Produced By Skepta Album: Konnichiwa

The appeal of grime is its ability to be entertaining and aggressively haughty simultaneously. Skepta comes for everyone’s head on this ‘Konnichiwa’ standout. Fake fans and friends, washed rappers &wannabe fashionstas; no one is spared. London boyz made noise in 2016.

Childish Gambino – Me & Your Mama

Produced By Ludwig Göransson Album: "Awaken, My Love!"

The signal to the stars. Sitting through this ever mortifying gospel-rock joint feels transient. A shift from dick inspired punchlines to channeling Parliament Funkdelic; Donald Glover is proof of the rewards of artistic progression.

Danny Brown - Dance In The Water 

Produced By Paul White Album: Atrocity Exhibition

I'd like to think that this song would fit perfectly in a Tarantino film that's already been made, maybe that one about the car with Rosario Dawson and the lady who did stunts for Uma Therman. I'd like to think those things, a perfect middle between the old world and new. Danny Brown, at his peak, paints the most perfect picture of curated chaos.. 

Saba & Noname – Church/Liquor Store

Produced By Cam O'bi Album: Bucket List Project

Two of Chicago’s more gifted writers take us on a ride through their hometown. Saba is insightful, sorrowful and clear headed as he tackles addiction, gang violence, gentrification and the school to prison system. Noname acts as the perfect foil. It soars with gorgeous keys and beautiful choir worthy voices that only add to the misery

Earl Sweatshirt & Knxwledge – Balance

Produced By Knxwledge Album: 2016 Adult Swim Singles

A sensible union. Two talented non stars whose styles fit each other like big feet & AF’s 1.Earl’s attention to detail add a personal touch to universal gripes of being young, black & confused. His mumblings feel at home over Knxwledge’s lush, anxious phrases.

AKA ft Yanga – Dream Work

Produced by KJ Conteh

Sampling ‘Street Fighter’ should already make this a classic but AKA takes it a step further by rightfully staking a claim to SA rap’s crown. The hook is masterful; Yanga’s voice complements the thumping bass perfectly and AKA sounds focused, sharp and agitated. A continuation of a 5 year streak that doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. Long Live Supa Mega.

Terrance Martin – Valdez off Crenshaw

Produced by Terrace Martin Co-Produced by Robert “Sput” Searight

Modern music would be less great without Terrace Martin. One could go on an endless tangent listing countless accolades and contributions but rather we stick to this one moment on “Velvet Portraits”. It’s a mesmerizing piece of jazz leaning funk that contains an electric guitar solo that’s so beautifully over the top you can’t help sit in awe. An experience.

D.R.A.M Feat. Lil Yachty – Broccoli

Produced By J Gramm Beats Album: Big Baby D.R.A.M.

There's this phenomena taking place where new kids want to be their own, don't want to inherit problems, keen to dictate their own narrative. This song is a prime example of this. D.R.A.M is on here with his puppy hugging positive healthy outlook on life bars and Lil Yachty is here in his whole self. The millennials Big Pimpin', I’m calling it.

Kadhja Bonet – Honey Comb

Produced By Kadhja Bonet Album: The Visitor

‘Classical music’ can be an off putting label. But Bonet puts a modern spin on the genre and breathes new life into it. It sounds so good it possess the power to you cleanse all your proverbial sins. Gorgeous piece of music.

 Solange Feat. Lil Wayne - Mad 

Produced By Troy "R8DIO" Johnson, David Longstreth, Sir Dylan, Solange &Raphael Saadiq Album: A Seat at the Table

Very rarely are us folk, black folk, worldwide given the space to be angry. Our sorrow, our pain and small glimmers of happiness have their time, designated hours. So when you're mad, you're mad on your own, you're carrying it on your own .. and when you finally exhale it's a lot. Mad about inabilities and inadequacies of the self. It's always just too much to never have someone ask "why you mad son?". It's a relief to have a song like this affirm that anger. Affirming the experience of holding on anger only for it to be dismissed, invalidated to be "why you always be so mad"-ed. I praise Solo for speaking this truth. 

Rae Sremmurd Feat. Gucci Mane – Black Beatles

Produced By Mike WiLL Made-It Album: SremmLife 2

Mannequin challenge aside, ‘Black Beatles’ was destined to be a hit. Swan Lee sounds like a fallen angel; cautious and courageous. Jimi admirably keeps up and Gucci is his outrageous melodic self. Mike Will brings out the trademark ear wormy tunes and you’ve got a stellar song that celebrates youthful exuberance like no other this year. Rae Sremmurd > The Beatles

Rich Chigga - Dat $tick 

Easily the hardest bars and hardest beat of the year, or the 2nd Quarter.  Upper Echelon bars. YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER WAS SHOOK WHEN HE HEARD IT. 

DJ Esco Feat. Future & Rae Sremmurd - Party Pack 

Produced By Southside & DJ Esco Album: Project E.T. Esco Terrestrial

 If you questioned the longevity of Future's "glow up" or how Rae Sremmurd would navigate beyond being the cute small guys then this song stands as testament. On this song Future sounds energized, he sounds damn near competitive on a song that features another well executed Swae Lee hook and a very well placed Slim Jxmmi.

Boogie – Nigga Needs

Produced By Keyel Album: Thirst 48, Pt. 2

Boogie has a knack of simplifying nuanced thoughts and conflicting feelings. Coupled with a video of him as a bleeding centrepiece in an art gallery, The Thirst 48 rapper tries to come to terms the difficultly of self-improvement in a world that conspires against him.

Travis Scott Feat. NAV - Beibs in the Trap

Produced By NAV Album: Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight

 Ay, millennials finally get our own cocaine raps, that tight. But say no to drugs. Drugs ruin lives. Drugs also cost way too much money to pick it up as a habit. Also, who actually does cocaine anymore. Isn't tripping on anxiety meds, though troubling cos clearly in the purest sense of self we have proved incapable of dealing with the realities of this world, the wave? I dunno, just don't do crack kids. That's not glamorous. Neither is crushed up Ritalin on your gums. Great song though 5/5 shout outs NAV for the harmonies and production s/o Justin Beiber.

Westside Gunn & Action Bronson – Dudley Boyz

Produced By The Alchemist Album: Flygod

Wrestling and food references? Boasting about hardness and superior garments over velvet soft chords? Why didn’t this collaboration happen sooner? Old heads need to pay more attention to Westside and stop complaining about mumble rap.

DJ Khaled Feat. Jay Z & Future – I Got Keys

Produced By Jake One, G Koop & Southside Album:Major Key

The God MC came down a couple of times this year to bless his subjects but this Future – assisted joint was a highlight. Not a world beater but admirable considering it is a 42 year old taking a jab at a relentless Southside banger.

2Chainz – Ounces Back

Produced By DJ Spinz Album Daniel Son; Necklace Don

This Christmas, I’m thankful that the most entertaining rapper on earth was inspired all throughout the year. A performance littered with ludicrous lines about forgotten apartments in Jupiter(???), expensive jewelry and his upper echelon sex game. The flow is never forced or out of pocket over dreamy bass and stuttering keys. How is he over 40 and more inventive than rappers half his age?

21 Savage – No Heart

Produced By CuBeatz, Southside & Metro Boomin Album: Savage Mode

The line between fantasy and realism grows blurry with each social media update. We continue to laud rappers who seem to draw from real life experiences more than the ‘posers’ and that what makes ‘No Heart’ so great.21 is way too specific & menacing not mean any of his threat- filled lines. Metro Boomin’ matches the dead eyed feel with his most minimalist work to date and the end product is as enthralling as it is terrifying. 

Chance The Rapper Feat. 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne - No Problem 

Produced By BrassTracks Album: Coloring Book

Chance The Rapper Feat. 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne - No Problem Produced by: Album: Coloring Book  Coloring Book is one of those polarizing projects, you either felt it or you didn't .. I didn't. But he made songs like this that didn't make you feel like you were at Christian Rap Camp, some menacing statements were made on here echoed by your mum’s church choir. Wayne told us about freeing the choir, Chance threw threats about labels meeting the real south side and 2 Chainz? Man that man effortlessly floated just right on this pleasant song that even this weird iPhone class project video even is enjoyable.  ZBo8QA/K2O8

Migos Feat. Lil Uzi Vert – Bad & Boujee

Produced By Metro Boomin Album: CULTURE

An ode to classy fly women that even Uzi Vert couldn’t ruin. Offset’s show-stealing hook sticks in your mind like a deferred exam. A shining example of the power of Migos as a hit-making collective.

Kanye West Feat. Kendrick Lamar -No More Parties in LA

Produced By Kanye West & Madlib Album The Life of Pablo

It's only fitting that the most flagrant and audacious bars would find themselves sitting on this masterpiece. It's almost felt like a battle rap, Kendrick urging Kanye to rap again and Ye coming the fuck thru, "that God for me!" Pablo declares triumphantly and the song is so good, it's such a Kanye signature sample old heads the energy in the recording studio is crazy with McDonald's and Hennessy. Crazy. Fucking magical is what it is.

G.O.O.D Music Feat. Kanye West, Big Sean, Quavo, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Travis Scott, Desiigner & Yo Gotti - Champions

Produced By Kanye West, A-Trak, Lex Luger & Mike Dean Album: Cruel Winter

Briefly, for but at least a second it looked like Kanye, Pusha T, fucking Kid Cudi, La Flame, 2 Chainz and even Big Sean .. it looked like the gang were back together. This single came as a result of hysteria, a just released Gucci, Kanye West finally releasing an album, a Quavo in his prime on a fucking MIKE DEAN track. In this moment, with the whole world in a frenzy doing everything they could do to somehow get their hands on these super stars, we were reminded that this label, GOOD Music, is a home to champions.

[latestnews2018-blog]

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Victory Face

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/there-were-zero-things-better-this-week-than-alexandria-ocasio-cortezs-victory-face/

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Victory Face

Welcome to Good Shit, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet. 

This is obvious, but the best thing I saw this week was NY1’s video of 28-year-old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez realizing she had beaten out Joe Crowley in the Democratic primary for the 14th Congressional District of New York. The results all but assured that she will soon become the youngest woman ever elected to Congress, and they set off a predictably nauseating period of 24/7 news coverage.

Challenger @Ocasio2018 toppled one of the top Democrats in Congress, @repjoecrowley, Tuesday night in their primary in the 14th District. The victory stunned even her, live on our channel. #NY1Politics https://t.co/fnK1O0bacz pic.twitter.com/RjuqHJpn1p

— Spectrum News NY1 (@NY1) June 27, 2018

But the particulars of that moment were mesmerizing: the way she convulsed just for one second when she saw the results; her widened eyes and covered mouth, first with two hands, then with just one; when she shook her head exactly once and replied “Nope” after an interviewer asked Ocasio-Cortez to put what she was feeling into words; and then when she composed herself and told the world that the victory belonged not just to her but to everyone who was with her. It was something wholly foreign to 21st century American politics: pure, uncorrupted joy, and we were right there with her in the bar to witness it. What a shocking delight. ― Maxwell Strachan 

Gucci Mane In Iceland

If you love yourself, watch this video of Gucci Mane in Iceland. Then you should mention BET, VH1, HGTV and the Travel Channel on Twitter, and petition for him to have his own show in which he travels the world and talks about how it makes him feel. Fuck, I love Gucci so much it hurts. ― Julia Craven

World Cup Tequila Shots

Re: Korea defeating Germany, thus allowing Mexico to progress to the next round–this video of Mexican fans bumrushing the Korean embassy in Mexico City to thank the ambassador personally, and forcing him to down tequila shots is so beautiful and perfect 😂 #KORGER pic.twitter.com/E1GeZCRrlK

— Very Stable Genius (@Rantaramic) June 27, 2018

Mexico got thrashed by Sweden in its final World Cup group stage game on Wednesday, but South Korea’s improbable win over Germany allowed Mexico to advance to the next round anyway. So, after the game, Mexico fans swarmed the South Korean embassy in Mexico City, mobbed the ambassador and other consular officials, and all but forced them to do shots of tequila with them. Then they chanted, “Korean, brother, you’re Mexican now!” The videos brought me genuine joy, even though the week was otherwise mostly awful. Mexico, which has had a pretty fun ride through this World Cup so far, plays Brazil in the first round of the knockout stages on Monday morning. It’ll be worth a watch. ― Travis Waldron

New Books!

Amazon

If you want to deftly thread the needle of unplugging from the horrifying news cycle while still thinking deeply about all the political, social and economic factors that have combined to make it so horrifying, allow me to humbly suggest two electrifying debut novels that were published this month.

Confessions of the Fox by Jordy Rosenberg takes the hoary tale of an 18th century folk hero ― the infamous English pickpocket and jailbreak Jack Sheppard ― and transmogrifies it into a wildly entertaining epic featuring a trans hero and a London underworld as diverse in race and gender identity as the real 18th century London was. 

Set in Oakland, California, There There by Tommy Orange weaves together the stories of urban-dwelling Native people grappling with the consequences of white colonization that has disconnected them from their heritage. All the while, the plot builds inexorably toward a shocking conclusion. ― Claire Fallon

“Salvage Dawgs”

For anyone who wants to escape the madness of the news cycle, turn off the worrisomely relevant “Handmaid’s Tale” and flip to the DIY Network ― where you can peacefully watch Robert, Mike and the rest of their Black Dog Salvage team carefully extract architectural elements from private homes, historical properties and crumbling mills across the eastern U.S. states. I first caught on to “Salvage Dawgs” four years ago (as an HGTV fanatic), and with a new season currently airing on Sundays at 9 p.m., I’ve been thoroughly enjoying it again. ― Leigh Blickley

“Demolition Man” Nacho Fries

Taco Bell

Is it a coincidence that in “Demolition Man” ― a movie depicting a world of peace, love and Wesley Snipes with bleach-blond hair ― every restaurant is a Taco Bell? I think not. Now, in honor of the 25th anniversary of this cinematic masterpiece, in which Sylvester Stallone says “Heads up” before literally kicking Snipes’ head off his body and people clean their butts with seashells, Taco Bell is bringing “Demolition Man” nacho fries to San Diego Comic-Con. And as if this partnership could get any more perfect, the fries are supposedly free.

So even if you’re not into “Demolition Man” (but, really, who even are you?), it’s still enough to make you say, “Aw, bell yeah.” Anything else happening in your life is nacho problem. But just remember: This is still Taco Bell we’re talking about, so keep those seashells ready. ― Bill Bradley

Some Hedonistic Art

Irena Jurek

“Strawberries Wild,” 2018, acrylic, graphite, colored pencil, glitter and collage on paper.

Fuck self-care, “Alive With Pleasure!” ― a new group show at Asya Geisberg Gallery in Manhattan ― seems to suggest. These dire times require unabashed hedonism, stripped of nutrition, intention or good sense. Curated by Irena Jurek, the exhibition takes its name from the playfully seductive Newport cigarette ads from the ’70s and ’80s. The works on view ― by artists including Caroline Chandler Wells, Raúl de Nieves and Melissa Brown ― are united by an excessive energy that oozes from their materials, style, palette and subject matter. Strawberry orgies, sprinting nipples, smoking birthday cakes and rainbow horses with serious BDE populate the gallery space, manifestations of self-indulgence far more strange and satisfying than bubble baths and goat yoga. ― Priscilla Frank

Kieran Culkin In “Succession”

Listen, I do not know how I feel about “Succession” on the whole. It is a longish HBO show filled with rich white men whose business dick swagger is very sad emoji, pretty frightening and a little funny. But I do know how I feel about Kieran Culkin in “Succession,” and that is that Kieran Culkin in “Succession” is very hot. He is the media conglomerate sex idiot I never knew I needed. He is the entitled son of a Rupert Murdoch avatar that I would otherwise hate if he weren’t so good at sick sibling burns and fast talking. He is Igby Slocumb, if Igby had just gone ahead and Jeff Goldblum-ed himself. That scene where Kieran Culkin in “Succession” is wiping his own semen off the window of his high-rise office window is exactly how I imagine Wall Street Men behave, so maybe this is a documentary. I don’t know. Watch it for Kieran. ― Katherine Brooks

Music For Your Ears

It’s always been difficult to get a handle on Deerhoof’s noise pop. It’s both artful and art-damaged, heavy metal and wistfully melodic. On a recent episode of the great podcast “Essential Tremors,” drummer Greg Saunier explains at length how the band’s sound is rooted in an unlikely source: Burt Bacharach’s orchestral pop. Saunier is a captivating storyteller, unwinding his tale much like his band’s twisty songs bouncing from a nostalgic remembrance of his mom’s love of soft rock to dissecting the essential genius of the 1968 hit “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” to karaoke singing. “People have rarely agreed with me on this, but I pretty much think of Deerhoof as being a soft-rock band,” Saunier said. ― Jason Cherkis

Freaky people, clap your hands! You’ll hear that command on “The Now Now,” the latest LP from sprightly synth cartoon band Gorillaz. We could use a freaky handclap or two right now, especially if it’s filtered through baroque bops like “Humility” (a summer jam if there ever was one) and “Magic City.” This album? It’s sunshine in a bag. ― Matthew Jacobs

A Movie About Aliens

This week I’m all over “How to Talk to Girls at Parties.” Don’t be fooled by the “Dude, Where’s My Car?”-esque name, this is an entirely precious, entirely new, entirely weird movie about growing into love in the most outlandish of circumstances. Enn is a punk boy in the ’70s who likes nothing more than scaring old ladies on his beat-up old bike and eating tomatoes that grow in the sewer, but his life gets shaken up when he meets Zan, an alien girl from a clan of introverted extraterrestrials touring Earth. I loved the subversion of expectation, like when he leans in to kiss her and she vomits on him. Somehow this is still cute. Elle Fanning is a great alien, and Nicole Kidman makes an appearance as an aged punk, which is worth it just to see her done up in the requisite 3 inches of eyeliner. The special effects are really campy and kind of jarring, but fun if you just go with it. And Mitski (!) even makes an appearance on the soundtrack to round it all out. Upon watching it, my mother said, “What in God’s name did you just show me?” Great fun. ― Anna Krakowsky

Maeve On “Westworld”

The best thing for me this week was, hands down, the subtle power of Thandie Newtown’s performance as Maeve on the Season 2 finale of “Westworld.” There’s this one, glorious shot of her toward the end of the episode, defiantly using her powers to hold off a horde of crazed hosts in order to protect her daughter. It’s brilliant on many levels, foremost because it’s the instant where the show fully crystalizes something that, all season, it had only been half-committed to acknowledging: Maeve is basically every black woman who has had to save herself (and everyone else) because no one else would. In light of the dumpster fire that has been this week and quite frankly this entire year, there’s something cathartic in seeing that visual metaphor on screen. ― Zeba Blay

The Passionate Experts On “Ologies”

My evergreen podcast recommendation this summer has been “Ologies,” a delightful science series. Each episode features a different expert, or -ologist, who can expound on all the cool shit to do with topics including death, birds, fear, squids, even postcards (!!!). Host Alie Ward is a true delight and basically asks all the weird questions I’d want to ask. It’s educational without feeling too heavy. Listening to people who are passionate about things is kind of the best thing? I’ve yet to come across a dud episode, and there are nearly 40 in the back catalog to work through on your journeys this summer — or simply your journey ~through life~. ― Jillian Capewell

And Finally, This Photo

received a very promising tip today pic.twitter.com/UaAJGwoVWz

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) June 28, 2018

This photograph was DMed to me by a stranger with absolutely no words or explanation. It is beautiful and makes me want to die, which is all you can really hope for with art. ― Ashley Feinberg

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