#other main characters of the film. or go to hawaii. we were in a prequel

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Kingdom Hearts 4 Challenge Day 6: A World to Revisit

Atlantica

(So, I swear all of my posts really aren't meant to be about Kairi. Like, I was going to make this cool manip where it looked like Sora was saving Melody from drowning, but my Sony Vegas refused to open for some reason? So I just decided to post these similar images of Melody and Kairi instead. That being said... while I don't need Kairi to be the one to go to a The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea world if we ever got one--I'd be more than okay with it being Sora--that would be cool. I'd love to see mermaid Kairi, since Kairi is named for the sea. And Kairi's name can even mean "melody." And she has a lot in common with Ariel. I even suspect she was somewhat based on Ariel, but anyway.)

The reason I would want Atlantica is honestly just because I would want a pretty underwater world again with the Unreal Engine graphics. And that can be a world that we've never been to before, like, Atlantis: The Lost Empire. But if we don't get a new one, then I would want an old one like Atlantica here. Plus... even though I don't think this movie is the greatest. At all. I feel like it's okay... and depending on how they handle it, the KH writers could potentially make it better, with what they add to it. Also, I feel like if we go to Atlantica one more time--with better swimming controls, and in an attempt that isn't a musical--we could finally redeem the world. And that would be great to see.

And now, for whatever reason, I'm going to list some other worlds I'd be more than okay with returning (even though I think we were only supposed to list one. Shh.)

Wonderland: But only if the world is expanded and it's a "sequel," via it being based on Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

Deep Jungle: I know this will surely never happen, since I know Disney has lost the rights to Tarzan. But on the off-chance they ever got the rights back somehow, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing this world back again, perhaps adapting some of the stories from the TV show, like the stuff with Princess La.

Agrabah: I definitely want to go here one more time and to have the "Aladdin and the King of Thieves" story depicted. (I probably would even prefer this even over Atlantica, actually, even though I want that pretty underwater level). This was one of the better Disney sequels, after all. And Sora most definitely deserves to be there for Aladdin and Jasmine's wedding.

Neverland: I wouldn't be opposed to the second Peter Pan movie being adapted.

The Land of Dragons: I'd be all for us having Mulan II, actually.

The Beast's Castle: I've always wanted "Beauty and the Beast and the Enchanted Christmas." I want to fight Forte. LOL. While I doubt it will happen, for obvious reasons, I feel like they could find a way to do it: like Belle writes Sora and the gang a part of her and the Beast's story that they don't know about (the Enchanted Christmas story) and sends it to them as a gift (maybe even for Christmas?), and once Sora opens it, he somehow gets pulled into said story.

Pirates of the Caribbean: I wouldn't mind a "Dead Men Tell No Tales" world.

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride would be awesome.

I would also kill for Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.

While part of me is loath to mention this one... I feel like no one was completely satisfied with the La Cité des Cloches world in Dream Drop Distance (because of lack of NPCs and that kind of thing). And there is a "The Hunchback of Notre Dame II" that Disney made. Absolutely no one likes this movie, and for good reason. But I don't know... I would be willing to tolerate it, just to see this world in the quality it deserves. And maybe Square Enix could somehow make it better... actually, surely not. But like I said: I could tolerate this just to run around Notre Dame in pretty Unreal Engine graphics.

I know that originally with DDD, the plan was Sora to go to all of the original Fantasia locations and for Riku to go to the ones in Fantasia 2000. But then they realized there were enough locations in the first movie for them both to go to, and they didn't need to crank out the sequel after all (or something like that). So I certainly wouldn't mind getting Fantasia 2000 now, in KHIV.

Tangled I'd love to go here again, if we get to see some of the cool plots from the TV show, that I've watched on YouTube. LOL

Arendelle We all know we'll be going here. It isn't even a question. I just hope that this time, Disney gives Square Enix much more freedom (let Elsa and Anna be party members, please). Since Frozen II is kind of hit and miss. Square Enix could really make something cool with it--like they could have with Frozen in KHIII--if they're allowed some creativity.

Wreck-It Ralph Because no one, and I mean no one, wanted us to first experience this world in KHUX, tbh.

Radiant Garden I just really want to finish some of the plot threads there that are still hanging.

Destiny Islands I just really want to be able to go back here and play, dangit! And maybe finally get to explore the main island!

Shibuya Just let us meet Neku, Shiki, Beat, Joshua, and Rhyme in their Shibuya (even if it's an in the credits thing), if Quadratum isn't theirs and we're not going to meet them (or the Wicked Twisters) in the game, otherwise.

[romcomathon2016]

Aloha (USA, 2015)

Predictions: Ah, Aloha. This 2015 gem that we saw such colorful billboards for around Los Angeles, and were kind of intrigued by, until b) it came out and got terrible reviews and a) we realized that Emma Stone was supposed to be Asian. Yeah. That happened. We predict that Emma Stone pretends to be Asian, and Bradley Cooper and Rachel McAdams are hard-hitting reporters who set out to debunk this obvious falsehood. A prequel to Spotlight, if you will.

Plot: Alas, nothing like our prediction. :|

Bradley Cooper is a sad city coyote who's lost his emotional military-coyote way and finds himself (back) in Hawaii, working for Bill Murray, trying to swindle the Hawaiian people. There, he runs into Rachel McAdams, whom he used to bang here in Hawaii 13 years ago, but who is now married to his strong, silent military...friend? acquaintance? John Krasinski and has two kids, aged 12 and 10. The 12-year-old is obviously Bradley Cooper's child, though. I mean, obviously. Thus Bradley Cooper causes mild disruption in Rachel McAdams's strong, silent marriage, but eventually they all work it out, whatever.

Also, in the course of his Bill-Murray swindling, Bradley Cooper meets Captain Emma Stone, whose job seems to exclusively be following him around talking about her quarter-Hawaiian heritage. She is so annoying. So annoying. And yet, they fall in love. BUT OH NO, SHE DISAPPROVES OF HIS SWINDLING, BECAUSE OF HOW HAWAIIAN SHE IS. SHE'S SO HAWAIIAN, YOU GUYS. HAWAIIAN HAWAIIAN HAWAIIAN. (Also a quarter Chinese, which is honestly even weirder.) Anyway, blah blah blah, Half-API Captain Emma Stone ensnares Bradley Cooper with her zest for life and changes his mind about his swindling, and together they blow up Bill Murray's satellite. (Wait...what???? That's the course of action you chose????) Then he like...sort of breaks up with her to save her career or whatever… But then Rachel McAdams persuades him to go confess his true feelings… Oh, who cares.

In conclusion, Alec Baldwin discovers that Bill Murray is bad, Bradley Cooper and Half-API Captain Emma Stone deserve each other, and Bradley Cooper's 12-year-old kid has a magical epiphany about her previously secret parentage and runs out of her hula class into his arms. Sure, sure.

Best Scene: At one point, Bradley Cooper and Rachel McAdams are in the kitchen talking about John Krasinski's strong, silent personality -- Rachel McAdams complaining about how he (literally) never says anything -- when John Krasinski wanders through, and, after he leaves, Bradley Cooper helpfully interprets his silences for her. It's actually pretty funny, and we would have enjoyed it, had it been part of a different movie.

Worst Scene: Ummmm. Pretty much any moment when eager-eyed Emma Stone can't stop talking about how Hawaiian she is?? Maybe especially when she's bonding with the actual Hawaiian guy over their Hawaiian-ness, and he's moved by how Hawaiian she is. /cringe

Best Line: At one point, Emma Stone is on the phone to her mom while Bradley Cooper listens in from the next room, and she says all sorts of disgusting shit, but she ALSO (amazingly) describes Bradley Cooper as a "sad city coyote." Our new favorite phrase. For the rest of our lives, every time we see Bradley Cooper in a movie, we will think of him as Sad City Coyote.

Worst Line: Everything else she said in that scene. Something about his eyes being "miles of blue." Oh god, you guys. People just keep talking about their Hawaiian-ness and Bradley Cooper's blue eyes, and… We just wish everyone in this movie would take a leaf out of John Krasinski's book and never ever speak.

Highlights of the Watching Experience: So many! Where to begin? Our puzzlement that Rachel McAdams is old enough to have a 12-year-old daughter? Our surprise that John Krasinski is now silent, after seeming capable of normal conversation when he and Bradley Cooper were on the plane? Our utter confusion as to why Emma Stone, a supposed adult, would choose to sit in the middle of the backseat of a car???? Also, important discussion, you guys: what is harder to believe, that Emma Stone is Asian or that Emma Stone is a competent member of the military -- so competent that Hillary Clinton insists she be there to salute her when she arrives in Hawaii?? (We think the latter. Personally, we actually find it easier to believe that Emma Catface** Stone would be Asian than a captain in the military.)

**Over time, Kat has compiled a list of celebrities that she feels look like cats. Mila Kunis, Amanda Seyfried, and Matt Bomer, for example, should clearly all be sitting on somebody's window somewhere, sunning themselves. "Actresses Who Look Like Cats (and Matt Bomer)" is perhaps our favorite of the many one-trick tumblrs we have thought about starting. Others include "Bad Parking in Los Angeles" and "White People Peeling Shrimp."

How Many POC in the Film: Lord. Well, let's just be clear, all the main characters were white people. EVERY SINGLE ONE. NOT EVEN A TOKEN BLACK FRIEND, Y'ALL. BRADLEY COOPER DIDN’T HAVE ONE ASIAN PAL, ON THE ISLAND OF HAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!! That being said, there were some background characters of color, which frankly is almost more than we expected from this film. There was the guy who played real-life Hawaiian Bumpy Kanahele. There was the hula teacher and all the hula classmates in Bradley Cooper's daughter's class. Some other passersby…

Alternate Scenes: Well. At the beginning of the movie, when we first glimpsed Rachel McAdams and her son, Kat thought that she might be divorced or a widow. If that had been the case, maybe she and Bradley Cooper could have gotten back together. Wouldn't that have been nice -- so much nicer than what actually happened. Emma Stone could just have been a chatty coworker, or a local barista, who never mentions her Hawaiian heritage except when it comes up in appropriate context. Sample dialogue: "I'm a quarter Irish." "Oh, really? I'm a quarter Hawaiian." "Really? You don't look it." "I know, I really don't."

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Better. I mean, let's just be clear, the poster's not GOOD, but. The poster seems to be just a regular old straightforward tale of three white people on vacation in Hawaii, maybe falling in love with each other. That's the boring, inoffensive movie we thought was being advertised on those billboards. We wish this had been that movie.

Score: 2 out of 10 quarter-Hawaiian smooches. That's half a Hawaiian smooch, for those of you who can't do the math yourselves.

Ranking: 65, out of the 70 movies we’ve seen so far. Oh man, you guys. We really thought the worst thing about this movie would be Emma Stone's "heritage," but IT WASN'T. The plot was so bad. The dialogue was so bad. Bradley Cooper's issues were so boring. SO BORING. How did this film come from the same person who made Almost Famous????