#other gallifreyans like: you spend too much time and energy on these beings -- they make no sense and they make the tardis smell weird

[variousqueerthings]

@fabiansociety A GALLIFREYAN CAT LADY THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!

[terryballs]

The Solar System in Doctor Who is crazy

If you’re a Doctor Who fan, you’re probably aware of a few intelligent species that call the Sun’s system their home.

There’s humans, of course, and Earth also has the Silurians and the Sea Devils. The Zygons are refugees on Earth. The Ice Warriors are on Mars. And the Cybermen were first shown to come from Mondas, Earth’s astrophysically-improbable twin planet.

That’s already six intelligent species who call this system home. But what if I told you that that’s barely scratching the surface?

Mercurials

Mercurials are tall, silver-skinned humanoids with pointy arms and flat, round feet. They are very much products of their time, underdeveloped peaceful creatures who manage to survive on Mercury and bear no ill will towards humans.

Mercurian Energy Beasts

The other sapient lifeforms on Mercury are the Mercurian energy beasts. As their name suggests, these creatures have quite a fearsome appearance. They are gigantic, made of lava, and have huge beard-like fronds. However, again, they are actively benevolent.

Venusians

With five arms, five legs, and twelve eyes on stalks, Venusians were masters of martial arts, and taught the Doctor a form of Aikido. They are capable of absorbing memories by eating brains. They are said to have gone extinct due to Venus’s global warming.

Wispies

These gaseous creatures are made of the Venusian atmosphere - perhaps they even are the atmosphere.

Cytherians

 Also known as Thraskins or Plinge, Cytherians look like lemurs, but they’re the size of humans and more intelligent. Cytherians were responsible for the climate change that killed the Venusians and birthed the Wispies. Unlike the Venusians, the Cytherians managed to survive the cataclysm due to their mastery of cryogenics. When humanity terraformed Venus, the Cytherians awoke and were enslaved, until the Doctor freed them.

Merpeople

Earth is home to multiple intelligent aquatic humanoids. The Third Doctor encountered the Carpanthans, who deliberately hide themselves away from terrestrial civilisations. But far more interesting are the merpeople. They prefer “merrows”, but humanity fixates on the image of the mermaid far too much for the preferred terminology to ever catch on. Merrows are the creatures of legend: half fish, half human. They can breath the air and have no difficulties talking outside of the water. A mermaid called Magda was the mother of the Time Lord known as the Doctor - he was, after all, half-human on his mother’s side.

Tuskens

Descended from pigs, Tuskens very rapidly evolved into a fully sapient species due to the intervention of the Doctor, who taught them how to speak English.

Dolphins

In the Whoniverse, dolphins are as smart as humans, and are capable of two-way communication with the help of assistive technology. They can also survive on land through the use of robotic spacesuits. Dolphins have colonised aquatic worlds throughout the Milky Way.

Sidhe

The Sidhe are multidimensional beings who resemble Tolkien’s Elves. They are responsible for most paranormal phenomena on Earth, but largely keep to themselves. Their greatest intervention in human history was fighting against the Nazis in WWII due to the threat that Nazism posed to their realm.

The Silence

Although they were originally a hostile invasion force, the Silence lived on Earth for generations. They were able to live on the planet undetected due to their antimemetic properties - they were wiped from a person’s memory as soon as they were outside their vision cone. The first Silence were genetically modified Catholic priests designed to hear confession. If we accept that white people can be Americans, we must surely accept the Silence as Earthlings?

The Forest of Cheem

At the other end of the scale, the Forest of Cheem are sentient bipedal plants. They evolved from Earth’s rainforests. They’re from Earth’s genetic stock, but they’re also aliens.

Terrae

Before the Moon became a moon, it was the planet Theia. Like the Earth Reptiles, the Terrae, who lived on Theia, were worried when they foresaw Theia colliding with the Earth. They hibernated beneath Theia’s surface, and were only disturbed when humans mined for helium on the Moon. Their corpses turn to a purple dust, which humans consumed as a recreational drug.

Lunaries

After the Reptiles made it to space, but before the humans did, the Lunese formed a colony on the Moon. They were an insectoid species who evolved on Earth and formed diplomatic relations with every nation of Europe in the late 16th century, bringing the ambassadors to the Moon, which was full of Earth life.  

Lizard Kings

What, you thought there were only sapient reptiles on Earth? No, no - Mondas has its own reptiles, both aquatic and terrestrial. The Lizard Kings were even thought to, paradoxically, have helped to bring about the Cybermen by sending an augmented ape forward in time to Mondas’s future. The Cybermen have an obsession with the Lizard Kings, but have never found any alive.

The Flood

“The Waters of Mars” introduced the Flood - a waterborne parasite that seemed to possess intelligence. It was able to operate machinery and successfully lay siege to a Mars base. It is thought that the Flood was buried in Mars’ ice by the Ice Warriors as a desperate final defence.

Cerulians

Now long extinct, the Cerulians lived on the dwarf planet Ceres between Mars and Jupiter. They had a two-caste society, divided between Masters and Scribes (slaves). Eventually, Masters trained Scribes to spend their whole lives flattering the Masters, and the Masters came to enjoy it. Neither caste noticed when Ceres was hit by an asteroid, eradicating life on Ceres.

Fendahl

History keeps repeating itself in the Solar System. Before Ceres, there was Planet 5 - a planet variously known as Minerva, Hestia, or Asteris, but usually just called Planet 5. In the early days of the Solar Sustem, this planet was home to the Star People, who created the Fendahl: a species where each individual contained thirteen separate parts with their own intelligence. Like on Ceres (and indeed Mars - the Ice Warriors were originally slaves), the Fendahl were intended to be a slave race, but they proved to have telepathic powers strong enough for them to consume the psychic energy of all non-Fendahl life on Planet 5. This caused a “rare” intervention in the outside world by the Time Lords, who feared that the Fendahl were threats to life in the universe. They were probably correct - the Fendahl were capable of making Great Old Ones like Fenric turn and run in fear. The Time Lords placed Planet 5 in a time loop, making it completely invisible and inaccessible. Some theorise that the planet broke up into the Asteroid Belt - which, of course, contains Ceres...

Europans

A race of amphibious insects evolved on Jupiter’s moon, Europa. Unfortunately, in the 20th century climate change nearly caused their extinction. Colony ships flew out to other worlds, but the only known success landed on Earth. The Third Doctor helped them form an Earth colony... but then time was rewritten, and the more cynical Seventh Doctor was sent to help UNIT instead. This unfortunately ended with UNIT killing all the Europans.

Vogans

The Vogans live on Voga, a former planet made entirely of gold. Early in their history, the Vogans were visited by a Vampire Hunter named Rassilon, and their society thus mirrors Gallifreyan society in many ways. They have grey skin, white hair, and high, domed foreheads.

Voga was of great interest to the Cybermen, who possessed a fatal weakness to gold. The Cybermen tried to blast Voga out of existence (which would not have destroyed the gold, but who said Cybermen were clever?). They only succeeded in sending Voga spiralling through space. The Vogans hid underground, and emerged when Voga settled in a stable orbit around Jupiter. I would point out that this makes Voga one of four bodies in the Solar System to dramatically change its orbit after evolving sapient life, and one of two to become a Moon of a larger planet. It also makes the Vogans at least the tenth species to go into hibernation following a calamity, most of which did it underground.

Waro

Aside from the Fendahl, the Waro were the solar species who were most hostile to humanity. Short goblin-like creatures with huge bat ears and terrible tempers, Waro were native to Neptune’s largest moon, Triton.

Siccati

Lastly, the Siccati evolve on Sedna. Never heard of Sedna? No, nor has anyone else. Sedna is a trans-Neptunian object which Gary Russell was sure would be named the Tenth Planet.

The Siccati were a race of bohemians, dedicated to art above all else. As Sedna is tiny, freezing, and has an irregular orbit, the Siccati relocated to floating cities in the atmosphere of Neptune.

Conclusion

The Solar System is weird. I have skimmed over some species, but there have been:

- Three instances of a species creating a slave race which leads to their destruction.

- Ten species who have hibernated (mostly underground) to escape a calamity.

- Four species who have been disturbed by humanity when hibernating underground, causing conflict between them and humans. One race, the Cytherians, were even enslaved by humanity.

- At least three different origins for the Moon (Theia colliding with Earth, Mercury’s twin planet that sent Mondas off into space/scared the Silurians, an egg).

- Four bodies being expelled from their orbits after evolving sapient life - the Moon/Theia and Mondas from within the Solar System, and Voga and Skaro (yes, that Skaro) from outside it.

- Multiple aquatic societies.

- Multiple species said to have inspired the human myth of fairies.

Earth’s solar system is weird. How weird is the rest of the universe?

[gingerteaonthetardis]

There might already be a fic about this, but I just love the concept...

Rose gets to stay with the Doctor.

Let's just suppose there's no Doomsday or Journey's End, but there's also no Bad Wolf-induced extended lifespan or any other fix-it for Rose aging. She just... stays with the Doctor. Here's what I envision:

The Doctor's Tenth body lasts quite a few more years, which seems to surprise Rose, as their life together doesn't really get any less dangerous. But their life has also gotten wonderfully domestic in some ways - they share a bedroom, he helps her fold the laundry, and they go home for Christmas every year. They get married on four different planets. (Though Jackie claims it doesn't count unless it's on Earth. She doesn't realize that Rose and the Doctor got the paperwork done ages ago, when Rose decided she wanted him to be her next of kin. They're married in every way that counts.) They've even done some bioengineering, so they can try for kids together. They certainly do love trying. The adventures start to get further and further apart for a while.

Rose wakes up one morning to him licking her shoulder and mumbling something she can't quite make out. He has to repeat it three times before she understands she's pregnant. She's twenty-seven. She has seen governments topple and stars being born, and she's suddenly scared to death of starting a family. He realizes she needs her mum, and decides to take her home, to Earth, just for a while. But his piloting is as unreliable as ever. They land somewhere they aren't supposed to, somewhere dangerous, and there's finally a slip up - the kind they've been dreading and anticipating for years.

He begins regenerating. As his body is reborn, he thinks, "Just let me be a good father. Let me be a good father for her baby."

His Eleventh body is immediately pulled into a hug from Rose who is worried beyond comprehension. But the minute he wraps his gangly arms around her, all worry is gone, and she's giggling and complimenting his floppy hair and his soulful green eyes and the way his smile is so different from before and yet, so much the same. She loves him.

He gets them back to Earth, in the end. Jackie has to get used to another face, but she treats it like old hat. “The bowtie makes you look like a swot,” she says. They tell her the news, and she's ecstatic and horrified in equal measure. She asks if the baby will have two heads or something.

The Doctor soon finds out that this body was made for fatherhood. He spends the entire pregnancy doting on Rose like a mother hen. Foot rubs and spooning have become the currency of this body. His obsession with optimizing her diet drives Rose mad, but as he stands in front of her with a green milkshake that he's trying to pass off as dessert, she can't help but love him. Fiercely protective of her, he takes her and Jackie on a short hop forward for the delivery. He won't risk his wife to a twenty-first century doctor, he says.

Their first child is a daughter.

Their second child is a son.

He loves them and fears them both in equal measure. Their daughter is nearly full-blooded Gallifreyan, and a complete genius. She makes improvements to the TARDIS that he hasn't considered in all of his 900 years. Their son, however, is almost completely human, and takes after his jeopardy-friendly mother. His heart is enormous - and oddly, his ears are rather large, too. Still, the Doctor puts all of his substantial energy into raising their children while still serving a universe in need. Though it seems that the universe has decided to take a vacation from real disaster, because the next thirty years pass like a blink. He goes from making toys and gadgets for his kids to releasing his adult children into the galaxy in what feels like mere moments. There are times when he would give anything to show them Gallifrey, teach them to be proper Time Lords and not just half-cocked maniacs like he is. But he does a good job, clinging to the slow path. He is proud of the children they've raised, and what he believes they'll do for the universe.

Their nest is empty again. Rose starts to get mistaken for his mother, which is a surefire way to get her spitting angry. She's delivered a smack or two in defense of their marriage. He pokes fun, says she's turning into Jackie Tyler. Time Lords age, obviously, but slowly, so he still looks quite young - nearly the same as when he first regenerated into this body. He still wears bowties. She stopped dying her hair a long time ago and let the brown grow in. He loves the way the silver threads through it, like little strands of time, or like the tiny, silver leaves on the trees of Gallifrey. Calls it very, very sexy. She calls him mad. But they still love one another like they always have. He loves Rose like he was born to do it. And he was born to do it.

On her sixty-fifth birthday, the Doctor - a sentimental old fool - decides to give her a birthday present.

His Twelfth body makes Rose beam. "You're a silver fox!" she cries, her eyes brimming with tears. "And Scottish! What are you Scottish for, you daft man?" But she loves his voice, loves his body, loves him so much it aches. She can't believe he'd do this, for her. But he would. He does. He wants to grow old with her, and he's found a sort of... cheat. A way to do that.

They still save the universe from trouble, though their kids (and their TARDIS, which they grew together in record time, due to the fact that their daughter is dazzlingly brilliant and their son is dreadfully determined) handle most of the intergalactic crises. Rose worries about them - hopes they're eating enough and not putting themselves to unnecessary risk, and that when they overturn governments, they make sure the power vacuum is safely filled. That's a lesson she and the Doctor learned the hard way.

Most of all, she hopes they'll find love like she did.

She and the Doctor run less and less. They return to earth to spend lingering, final years with Jackie Tyler (who doesn't like this face much, says the eyebrows are dreadful, but she still kisses his cheek and thanks him for taking care of her daughter). Rose mourns.

They find themselves standing in beautiful places more and more - planets with five moons, circumnavigating the sky in an elaborate dance; oceans that crest and peak in stunning lavender waves, where the sun slants through like stained glass. And though her eyes have gotten older, Rose never tires of the sights. He never tires of watching her step out onto a planet, her hand in his, and seeing something new, something beautiful. He realizes he could live ten thousand more years with this woman and never tire of her boundless love and spirit and compassion. He realizes he never, ever wants to let go of her hand.

But he has to.

Time travelers are rarely long-lived, though they can be, if they manage to survive the danger and benefit from the slightly altered biology. Rose lives very long for a human - she lives to nearly 120. Even in the last years, when she can't run anymore, he walks with her out into foreign worlds. She charms kings, and she loves children. She always reminds him to do the kind thing, the good thing, the right thing. He thanks the TARDIS over and over for letting them have this - this sort of retirement together. He thanks his beloved ship for keeping Rose safe.

The last hours of her life are spent on the TARDIS, talking of where they've been and where they'll go next. He wants to go back and revisit some old favorites, but Rose insists on somewhere new. "Doctor," she rasps, "I want to go somewhere I've never gone before." She does.

He buries Rose on Earth, next to her mother, in the late twenty-first century. He keeps her things, though, on the TARDIS. He keeps her old room, and their old room, and the children's room. He spends a few years just... drifting. Mourning. His Rose. His precious Rose.

That is, until the TARDIS slams him into the hull of a sinking ship.

The SS Bad Wolf.

The Doctor laughs. He saves the crew, but loses the body. He is happy, because he knew he would. This body wasn't made for running and mad escapes, it was made for loving someone who is no longer there. It was made to be a father, a husband, a grandfather. Now he isn't really any of those things. He wonders what he will be next. The words “Bad Wolf” linger in his vision as he steps back onto the TARDIS. That’s Rose, he thinks. Always looking out for him.

He regenerates again. He thinks - no, he knows - this will be the last one.

The Doctor's Thirteenth body is, in a word, brilliant.

"Oh, Rose," she says, standing in the wardrobe room, her hazel eyes filled with tears. "If you could see me now!" The brown roots with the blonde hair. The golden brown in the eyes. The Northern accent, from so long ago. The kindness that she can feel as a crystal spring, hidden deep in her body and running joy and compassion through her like a babbling brook.

She laughs as she pilots into the vortex, in search of her next great adventure.

[avid-windex-consumer]

Heaven’s Trap | Chapter 2. | Welcome Home

Her companions are exhausted, she can tell. They try to hide it; for her sake maybe, she doesn’t quite know why, but it’s obvious to her.

They’ve been going from place to place all day, counting and running and hiding. They hadn’t had any direct encounters with it, though at this rate that could change very soon.

It’s in the way Yaz’s eyes are droopy, and Ryan’s steps slow, his body addled with the need to rest, his coordination worsened. It’s in Graham’s shoulders, hunched over slightly.

They’ll need to rest soon, she knows. But at what cost? How long will they really be able to nap for, 75 minutes, maximum? She needs the extra few for good measure.

The movements of the castle had been stubborn, blocking access to the chamber she needed in order to get to the top.

It’s vital she sees the stars. Absolutely vital. Because if someone had gone to all the trouble of making a replica of the confession dial, then they’d also replicate where the stars had been last. Where the stars had been positioned when she’d escaped.

When she was in the dial, she often thought about the starting point. That’s what she called the time when she’d first arrived in the dial. So all calculations of time after the starting point were based on the shift from the starting point to each time he’d looked at the stars in the dial.

But if the stars weren’t positioned 4.5 billion years after the starting point, that meant that she was in the confession dial.

Because the times would have changed, and though it would be a minor shift, it would be obvious to her. And it would be the only changed factor in the castle (that she’d found so far).

She hopes, she really, really hopes, that the stars have changed.

“When are we stopping, Doc?” Graham says groggily.

You can never stop, but you can rest.

The tower is still sealed off.

“We’ll have to skip the tower for now, the castle’s being stubborn. Five minutes to the closest room, yeah? You can all rest for an hour or so.”

The four make their way to the room in an uncomfortable silence.

-x-

They’re all asleep now, except for the Doctor. She watches over them, like a guardian angel. A guardian angel in a cage.

She wonders if this is hell. The Time Lords don’t have a religion, but most other cultures do, and most of them include some type of hell.

This would be hers, definitely.

If the Doctor doesn’t escape, the companions will die, whether it be from sleep deprivation or it. She’ll die too eventually, but her death will come long, long after.

If it turns out that this really is the confession dial, then the Doctor is at a loss. What does it want her to confess this time? The hybrid is gone because Clara is gone.

What other secrets does she keep? Her name?

Her name.

Is that what it wants?

God, she hopes not.

Click

Click

Click

Click

She needs to wake them up.

It’ll be here soon, and by then they’ll need to be long gone.

She shakes Yaz awake, watching the girl’s eyes droop open. There’s something unsettling about them, a fear that the doctor doesn’t like.

Fear keeps you on your toes.

“Come on Yaz, you have to wake up.”

Yaz slowly sits up, still sleep addled. Her body desperately needs more rest, but it is coming.

She can see it on the screen, slow and creeping. The can see the flies buzzing in front of it. It was a constant, for so many years. 4.5 billion years. A constant, relentless, pursuing nightmare with claws.

She hates it. How she feels almost at home here. A familiarity that can match the TARDIS, beat it even. She did spend billions of years here; it shouldn’t have surprised her-

No, not here. It can’t be here. It’s a replica, it has to be.

Could she handle it if it wasn’t?

Is that even a question?

“Can’t I lose, just once.” She murmurs under her breath; no one hears her.

You have a duty of care.

The voice sounds too much like Clara for her liking.

Yaz helps wake up the other two, and the Doctor’s resolve breaks for just a fraction of a second when she sees their eyes, desperate and begging for sleep, already wearing down.

She strengthens her resolve, mentally berating herself for letting it fall, even for a second. The companions still don’t know what happens here, in this place; they don’t have any idea at all.

It will take them a while to get to the other side of the castle, she knows. But there’s somewhere specific she needs to see. If the tower is being stubborn, she may as well go to the garden. There’s something important there.

“Let’s get a shift on, yeah?” She smiles, urging them on. The grogginess of sleep still settles on them, but it lessens as they jog to the yard.

“Where are we going now, Doctor?” Yaz asks.

“We’re going to the garden. Well, I say garden. Not really much to show if it is a garden.”

“Why the garden?” Ryan cuts in.

“There’s something I need to dig up.”

-x-

As soon as she enters the garden-if it can even be called that-she freezes. The vines are just as dead as they were last time, and the shovel is positioned perfectly against the wall.

Do I dig?

Of course you dig.

That’s been happening a lot lately. Clara. Maybe it’s the place, this castle.

“Okay then fam!” She regains her composure, smile tight, forced into a mock playful grin. “Ready?”

“For what?” Yaz asks.

“To dig.”

She grabs the shovel, making her way across the garden to the middle of the area, where a bed of soil lies.

God, it’s just like she remembers it. She’s dug it up billions of times, and the sound of the soil giving way to the shovel sends shivers down her spine.

-x-

It takes a long time, digging it up. Ryan and Yaz pitch in for bits, but she does most of the heavy lifting. Graham can’t, his joints are weak from age. She hates to say it, but Graham is most likely to die first if she can’t get them out of here. His body is old for a human’s, not terribly old, not as old as her last body even, but still old. A body that wears down faster.

She hears the familiar clang of stone, and bends down to swipe away the soil.

Her heart drops and her breath catches.

It’s the same.

“I AM IN 12”

She remembers writing it in her first time, before the stars shifted and the years passed. Before she’d laid out the clues and set up the loop.

Things were much harder then, and she’s glad that those memories are the hardest to unlock.

Sometimes she wishes she’d forget them all, but she can’t afford that, not now.

But then something catches her eye. She swipes at the soil, and her eyes widen.

“WELCOME HOME”

No, no, no. Please. It’s a trick, has to be. Has to be a trick.

Those words are chilling, because despite the dread she feels, this place has the familiarity you’d associate with a home. The castle is more familiar than the TARDIS, and if that thought doesn’t inspire dread…

Focus. She has to focus.

It’s Gallifreyan writing, clear as day. And it isn’t hers. She’s never done that.

She hopes.

What if she has done that? What if she’s in another loop? How long have they been here?

No, stop thinking like that. So far you’ve seen no evidence of an energy loop.

Granted, it’s only been a few hours, less than a day really. But so far, nothing.

That’s right. Focus on that.

And then she hears the buzzing. Coming from right below her.

-x-

She pushes open the doors to the TARDIS, the familiar golden glow of the consoles sets the setting comfortable.

“Ah! My storm room, good to be back! Well, this is no good. Look at that.” She pulls the monitor towards her, showing The Veil’s hands coming towards her face.

“Hmm. This seems all too familiar. No time to think about that though, we have bigger fish to fry.”

She ducks under the console and fiddles with a wire, making the console spark.

“Ah! Idea!”

Coming back up, she spins the monitor forward, and closes her eyes.

“Okay teacher, ask me questions.”

When she opens them, there’s a whiteboard to the side of her.

Does it want a confession?

“Everything else has been exactly the same, don’t see why this wouldn’t be. But if this was the real deal-hypothetically, because it can’t be-then it would have to be a Time Lord engineering this, yeah? And I don’t know what information they’d want from me.”

A truth you haven’t told anyone else

“Yes, yes. This regeneration, luckily, doesn’t talk much-well, I do, but not about myself. Well, not about important things about myself.”

She thought for a moment, before sitting down and resting her back on a glowing pillar, head in her hands.

“This place feels like home.”

Why?

“I was here so long-god, I hate it, but people can hate their homes, can’t they? I know every corner, twist and turn, and I know The Veil.”

Then say it.

“I really don’t want to…and I don’t know why.”

You don’t want to because saying it will make it more real.

“Yeah...you were always smart like that…Clara.”

-x-

“This place feels like home!” She shouts. “Is that what you want to hear!”

It slows…but it still comes near her.

“What, you want more?” She asks incredulously. “I was here for so long. 4.5 billion years! It’s more familiar than the TARDIS, every room and corridor; and god, I loathe it.”

The Veil freezes, the flies stop buzzing, and she flicks one away. The walls start to move, and instinctively she knows that the tower is open right now.

She climbs out of the hole, and watches her companions looking at her with wide eyes.

“Doctor?” Yaz asks tentatively, as if she was stuck between being concerned or horrified. “What did you mean when you said 4.5 billion years?”

The Doctor freezes, then calmes and smiles, trying to reassure her friend. “Ah, that’s not important. Come on, we have to get to the tower while we can.”

Yaz wants to follow up, the Doctor knows, but she drops it for now. The Doctor has a hunch she'll bring it up again eventually, when they're safe.

If they're ever safe.

“How do you know it’s ready?”

“I told you I knew this play well, yeah? Come on, let’s get a shift on.”

[tenscupcake]

electrostatic potential (34/?)

ten/rose. teen this ch. this chapter was definitely an exercise in pushing my creative boundaries. a style i’ve never tried to tackle before, and it’s a short chapter on top of that (concision is something EVERYONE already knows i suck at). i like the way it turned out though, as did my beta :D so i hope you guys do too. summary: as the doctor and rose traverse time and space looking for adventure, they slowly fall victim to a mysterious energy that can manipulate their emotions. though confused and unnerved by the cerebral affliction, neither of them understands its cause, or realizes that it could jeopardize their friendship. what will it take for them to discover the truth? this chapter on ao3 | back to chapter 1 on ao3

There’s a phenomenon that exists in many species across the universe – ones with cardiovascular systems, at any rate. A temporary enlargement and reduction of function of the heart muscle in response to a severe stress, especially a death or breakup. Untreated, it can result in fatal arrhythmia or heart failure. Its symptoms are similar to those of a myocardial infarction: acute chest pain and shortness of breath.

Some medical professionals designate it takotsubo cardiomyopathy. But, species and language barriers notwithstanding, it’s known colloquially across much of the universe as broken heart syndrome.

“We haven't got time to argue. The plan works. We're going. You too. All of us.”

“No, I’m not leavin’ him!”

There’s no evidence the condition occurs in Gallifreyans.

But as the Doctor turns his back on the stark white wall and faces an empty room, he wonders if all his time spent around humans hasn’t begun to affect his biology. His chest is swollen yet empty and aching, and the only time he can breathe is when the erratic, pounding palpitations of his hearts knock the wind out of him and he gasps for air.

“He does it alone, Mum. But not anymore. ‘Cause now he's got me.”

Why did he do it? Why did he sling the device around Rose’s neck?

He would never. He should never.

His legs, barely functional pegs, slowly carry him out of the room where the rift was created. Broken. Numb. He nearly makes it to the stairwell but falls to his knees before he can reach the door. He buckles over at the waist, barely catching himself with his hands before his head hits the ground. The cold, hard floor is a welcome, if miniscule, reprieve from the agony in his chest.

“I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never gonna leave you.”

He squeezes his eyes closed, wishing tears would fall. Wishing he could scream. Wishing something would happen to disrupt the deafening silence. The intense emptiness of this room. This entire building. Its previous employees either evacuated or dead.

He knew. He knew she’d never leave. He promised he’d never leave her either.

Why did he do it?

But she came back. The storm had nearly passed.

Nearly.

“Hold on!!!”

Haunted by the memory of his own guttural scream, he finds his voice.

“NO!” he shouts at no one except the walls and the corpses scattered through the building. Smashes clenched fists on the linoleum.

They had come so close.

And they had hardly two weeks connected. Hardly one actually believing they might be able to live out their days together.

More and more seconds pass without Rose’s mental presence close enough to feel, and his mind begins to throb with the realization she’s gone. It worsens until it overrides the pain in his chest, the edges of his mind a raw wound that no salve will treat. And yet, futilely, the abandoned tendrils of his mind search for her. They’ll never stop searching for her.

He was right not to trust. To flee from a possibility of a connection like theirs. He saw this coming. He knew how much it would crush him, but he did it anyway. He’s a fool.

And for his stupidity, Rose will live out her millennia of life in a different dimension, with no one to spend it with. Her very immortality a constant reminder of what she’s lost. He’s thrust the very curse upon her that he can hardly bear the burden of himself.

He can’t let her suffer like this.

He can’t.

He has to find a way to her. He’d rip apart two universes to find a way.

A burst of adrenaline wrenches his eyes open. A second gets him to his feet, supporting himself against a wall.

As he takes in his immediate surroundings, trying to re-orient himself so he can find the TARDIS, the stark surfaces of the white box he’s trapped in begin to warp. The walls bend and buckle. A haze drifts over everything, until it’s suddenly too treacherous to take a single step.

He squeezes his eyes shut and rubs his fingers over them, giving himself a moment to try to breathe. Kick in his respiratory bypass to assist. This must be merely a symptom of his situation, his brain’s sensory processing ability taking a temporary hit from hypoxia or shock. Maybe both.

But when he opens them again, the entire interior of the cursed building flickers in and out of existence around him. Milliseconds of utter blackness interrupt his shaky perception of the world – like a live video feed cutting out.

Somewhere, Rose is screaming his name.

He screams back, only it’s not her name but a garbled cry of pain, because his head is suddenly pounding like it’s about to explode. Clutching the sides of his head, he crumples to the floor again, and this time he’s unable to break the fall with his hands.

---

He’s tried everything he can think of.

Went back in time to Canary Wharf, risked it all to try to slip through the crack between the universes while it was still open. But the TARDIS wouldn’t allow the risk of crossing his own timeline. He shouted himself hoarse and tried to override her safety precautions but she wouldn’t budge. She wouldn’t let him kill himself trying to get her back.

Normally he’s grateful for her protection, but right now the alternative still seems preferable. He did have that deal with himself, didn’t he?

He tore apart the console trying to recreate the accident that brought them to Pete’s World in the first place. It was an even worse failure that led the TARDIS to confiscate his flying privileges entirely. He was marooned inside the ship, no outlet for his grief for what felt like years.

He’s searching for other gaps between universes now, any crack that might be large enough to squeeze through. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a one-way trip or not. Setting the randomizer over and over, he searches every new destination for signs of the Void seeping through. But with and all of time and space at the TARDIS’s disposal, her search radius a mere pinpoint in comparison, it could take ten billion stops before he found one.

It’s hopeless.

His mind cries out for her, its edges aching, still raw. Frayed. Like the stub of a severed limb.

The monitor still doesn’t have any positive readings.

He crushes the pen in his hand, not caring when the ink bleeds onto the keyboard beneath it. He’s about to punch the glass screen, desperate to feel something besides the hollow ache in his chest.

But he suddenly feels… strange. Without warning, a different emotion rapidly displaces his grief and hopelessness: a potent sense of amnesia.

How many times has he done this? How many loci of this universe has he already checked? Two? Two thousand? He can’t remember any of them. But their current voyage doesn’t feel like their first one, either. Mingled with the amnesia is déjà vu, a nagging sense he’s done this before. He’s exhausted like he’s been at it for months without sleep, maybe even years.

He rubs a hand down his cheek, finding it rough with stubble. Looking down at his suit, he finds it stained with grease, dirt, and blood. His own? How long has it been since he washed it?

As he looks around, suddenly nothing he sees feels real. The console, the floor beneath his heavy feet, none of it.

Why are there such large gaps in his memory? Was he dosed with something? He doesn’t feel right.

He must need sleep. He’s been fighting so hard to get back to Rose, he’s been neglecting himself. Severely.

That’s all it is. A kip is all he needs.

Suddenly too exhausted to make the trek to his own bed, he drops to the console floor and is unconscious before he can second guess himself.

---

The Doctor carefully pilots the TARDIS around the dying, blazing star, getting the ship into just the right orbit to absorb its power without her shields being depleted by the intense radiation.

The gap he eventually found isn’t large enough to fit through.

Only just enough to send simple communication.

When it’s finally in the right spot, he steps away from the monitor. It’ll take a few minutes to draw enough power to send the projection, and the Doctor needs to freshen up. He’s still determined to find a way through properly, but he’d be an idiot not to consider the possibility this is the last time she’ll ever see him. He doesn’t want to look pathetic and unkempt as he says what might be his final goodbye.

He mechanically changes his suit and shaves his face, styles his hair though he hasn’t in he can’t remember how long. The way she likes it.

They didn’t get to say goodbye.

It’s the very least she deserves.

It will destroy them both, to be able to see one another but not touch. To be tempted with one another’s image even as the pervasive emptiness in their minds persists.

But it’s better than nothing. He repeats that to himself as he drags his feet back to the console.

But when he re-enters the console, his head is suddenly killing him again. He pushes his fists into his forehead, clenching his eyes shut and gasping through his teeth to try to will the pain away.

It does begin to fade after a few moments of steady breathing, and he takes one last deep breath, steeling himself for what he’s about to do.

But when he opens his eyes, the TARDIS’s interior has been completely transformed. A console still looms in the centre, the time rotor still breathes heavily as it churns up and down. But a purplish glow has replaced the green hue he’s accustomed to. The control panels have sharp edges, the organic corals supplanted by polygonal pillars. Unfamiliar Gallifreyan inscriptions line the walls and moving parts overhead, and the room is far bigger: multiple tiers of pathways extending in three dimensions beyond the grating of the console.

Dimly, as though a projection itself, a young redhead traipses around on a level of grating above him, and he can just faintly hear a Scottish accent...

And with a blink, it’s all gone. The stranger, the headache, the foreign TARDIS. It’s all back to normal.

He shakes his head, blinking hard a few more times. But the console room is now just as he left it: small and green and old-fashioned.

But… how… wait...

How did he get here?

The last thing he remembers is falling asleep on the grating. When he came to, he had already found this supernova. What did he do in between?

He shakes his head, dispelling the nonsensical train of thought.

It’s the anxiety. It has to be. Messing with his brain. Temporarily distorting his memories. But he can’t back out now. This might be his only chance to say goodbye to her.

---

“How long have we got?”

“About two minutes.”

---

“Am I ever gonna see you again?”

“You can’t.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

“Oh, I've got the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Time Lords.”

“On your own?”

He nods.

“I…”

A sob chokes off whatever she’s about to say, and she buckles over at the waist, trying to contain it.

Two minutes.

They’re running out of time.

When Rose rights herself, meeting his gaze again, her cheeks are still wet with tears, but they’re no longer falling. Terror and desperation have replaced the sorrow on her face.

“Doctor!” she shouts, far too loudly for being right in front of him. It’s frantic and impatient, as though it’s not her first time shouting his name, like she’s been shouting it for ages and he hasn’t heard her. The tangible shift in her emotional state makes this feel so much more real. Her presence here with him is an illusion – she’s not really inside the TARDIS – but it suddenly feels like she is. She feels closer to him than she has for months. His mind agrees she may be within reach, reaching out and calling her more strongly than it ever has.

Which is foolish and naïve. It must be merely his instinct to protect her kicking in, a strong emotional response to her evident distress affecting his judgment.

“Rose? What’s wrong?”

“You need to regenerate!” She’s still shouting just as forcefully.

He looks around, searching within the TARDIS for whatever danger she’s detected, but finds none.

“Rose, what are you on about?” Panic bubbles up inside him. This isn’t how he wants their last conversation to be. “I’m fine.”

“Doctor, whatever this is you’re experiencing in here, it’s not real.”

In here?

He’d rather they could touch one another, too, but this projection was the best he could do. He’ll keep trying the rest of his life, but there’s a good chance this is their last chance to speak. As far as Rose knows, it is. He doesn’t want to waste their final seconds together arguing about what’s real.

“Rose, I know I’m not here properly. Not physically, but… I had to say goodbye.” He pleads with her to understand with his mind, though he knows she can’t feel it. Her mind is still too far away, notwithstanding this visual fabrication that’s projecting her image inside the TARDIS.

“No, Doctor! Don’t say goodbye!” She lunges forward and grabs onto the lapels of his suit, the strong clutches of her fists successfully capturing the fabric, and his eyes bulge out of his skull. He stares down at her hands, the dark blue fabric of her jumper pressing into his chest, the arms attached to them suddenly quite real.

“Rose,” he gasps out, breathing heavily. “How are you doing this?” He reaches his arm up, touching her shoulder and finding it quite solid. His throat closes up with panic. Has sending this projection torn the fabric of reality? Jeopardized the stability of this universe? Hers? Both? As much as he wants to touch her in return, he knows something has gone horribly wrong.

“Look, you’re hurt.” Rose moves her hands up to his cheeks, tilting up his head, forcing him to look her in the eyes. Frantic as they are determined. “You’re hurt really bad. You hit your head. You need to regenerate.”   

“What’re you…” he tries to speak, but a potent spike of pain in his head prevents him from finishing the sentence. “Agh!” Clutching his head, he sinks to his knees, but rather than the hard grating, there’s nothing but sand beneath his knees. He glances around, only to find the console, the coral struts of the TARDIS, the ramps and the adjacent hallway are fading out of view. In just a few seconds, his ship has disintegrated completely. There’s only Rose, the ocean, the cold wind and sand and scattered rocks surrounding them.

“Rose, what’s happening?” he grits out through his teeth. The world tilts on its axis as the relentless pain brings nausea and disorientation. 

“Doctor, you need to stay with me.” She kneels down with him, fighting desperately for his full attention. But he can’t give it; the pain is already excruciating. “Can you feel the regeneration energy?”

“No!” he spits out, too miserable for politeness.

Amidst the agony is a profound confusion. How did he get here? Why does his head feel like it’s been cracked open?

But he has to say goodbye.

Two minutes.

He’s running out of time.

A powerful wave of dizziness crashes over him as he looks up at her, making the entire world spin around Rose until she goes completely out of focus.

“Rose, we don’ ‘ave much time. Just… needt’ tell you…” The words are slurred. Like he’s drugged, about to lose consciousness.

“Doctor! Listen! We’re not on this beach, okay? We’re at Canary Wharf. You’re about to leave me forever. You’ve got to trust me. I can feel it. The fire in your veins. You need to surrender to it.”

He stops trying to fight against what she’s saying. If this will be the last time he sees her anyway, he might as well indulge what she wants.

But how can he regenerate if he’s not dying?

Maybe he is dying. He’d be better off dead than living without Rose, anyway. Either way, regenerating sooner just means his miserably lonely life will be over sooner once she disappears.

He searches inward for the familiar flames of change, and to his surprise, he can just detect it down in his toes.

Is he dying?

Now that he can feel the fire in his veins, it quickly consumes him. Spreads through his body, burning every cell it touches from the inside as he yells against the wind in protest. The relentless migraine in his head worsens as the fire reaches his head, spreading and swelling with unbearable pressure until his head feels fit to burst. An overinflated balloon about to violently pop, its shrivelled latex remnants raining to the ground.

The agony at least brings a burst of adrenaline that hauls him to his feet, still holding his head. At this point he’s worried if he lets go his skull will fall apart, but he pulls one hand away from his head, needing to see the evidence for himself. He watches as the golden glow emanates from his hand, trickling down to his fingers. Brighter by the second.

He doesn’t want to regenerate. He wants to stay in this body. This is the man Rose fell in love with.

But if she’s gone, what’s the point? If he can’t get her back… oh, he’d do anything to get her back... but it’s too late. The crescendo of energy is moments from reaching its peak. The overwhelming heat is melting his organs, the poorly contained energy tearing his cells apart one by one as it searches desperately for an outlet.

He gasps for air, desperate for the pain to be over. Maybe Rose will still be here when he comes out the other side...

Rose.

“Get back!” He barely gets the words out before he explodes.

Rose.

She’s his only conscious thought as his body combusts to a whirlwind of plasma and ashes around him.