#orla k barnett
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 3 months ago
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Love Enduring
What is grief but love enduring
I loved you with my whole being
And still my heart you are stirring
Though now you are beyond seeing
No longer can I wrap you up
In a tender and warm embrace
Or break bread together and sup
With your bright smile on your face
I cannot kiss your rosy cheeks
Or see your eyes crinkle in glee
My empty hand for yours does seek
So my gloomiest thoughts will flee
Memories of you I have carved
Into my heart on sacred stone
But my soul is fed and not starved
Because my love is like seeds sown
My tears water the wound that holds
The vestiges of you in me
Safely in my love I enfold
My eternal symbol to thee
My grief for you will never cease
But neither will my steadfast love
Your memory will bring me peace
You nest in my heart like a dove
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 3 months ago
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The Purest Form of Love
If grief is love with no where to go
Surely it is the purest form of love
To have loved so deeply
It exceeded the bounds of the flesh
And your heart is overflowing with all you cannot contain
They have gone and your love remains
A burden you’ll carry every day
Until you too return to the dust of mortality
It is a blessing to have cared so deeply
That the ache left behind by their presence is engraved on your soul
Though painful it may be
It is better to have loved with all your might
Than be afraid to love for fear of carrying your grief like a stone
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 4 months ago
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The Banality of Evil
To be evil is to be boring
It is far more interesting to be intentionally kind
To strive every day to be better than your last
Knowing tomorrow you’ll be better still
The banality of evil does not come from pain
That you inflict on others thoughtlessly
It is banal because you cannot imagine
Anything more revolutionary than being cruel
The easiest thing in the world to do
Your malice is defeated because you only know one trick
I will triumph because my heart knows a thousand ways to love
And I will learn even more tomorrow
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 3 months ago
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Eden
If we could go back to Eden’s garden
Would I be forgiven for what I’ve done
The gods see my face and their hearts harden
I cannot stop that which I have begun
No amount of love can redeem my sins
Madness’s teeth sink themselves in my throat
I see only your face as my mind spins
Every transgression through my spirit floats
Your sweet laughter haunts my waking nightmares
That I broke apart with my hands anew
Like jagged lines in the mirror repaired
I cannot restore your innocence true
I have become the monster in my dreams
Striving for Eden my soul to redeem
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 2 months ago
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Loyalty
Loyalty is not just a word
It is knowing in your bones you’ll love this person
Cherish them and be on their side
Follow them down the path they choose
Walk through fire to protect them
And love them fiercely in the face of a cruel world
You don’t have to always like their decisions
Or how they live their life
But you love them and support them anyway
Because at the end of the day
Loyalty is loyalty because it doesn’t end
If it did, it would be something else
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 4 months ago
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The Love I Lose
I wonder what happens to all the love I lose
The people who slipped from my grasp
Those I let go to protect myself
Their voices echo in my head
Resonating in my soul
All that’s left is a shade of who they are
Telling me they are sorry they cannot stay
It’s ok to uncurl my grasp and let go
Sometimes I cannot bear them to leave
Others drift away into the ether
Does that love still exist when it leaves me
Will one day it come back to my heart
Lost and found
Will I remember what it was like
To love that person again
Or will it be a stranger at my door
I hope it survives out in the world
That it is not lost to eternity
The love I bore still knows them
Even if it no longer lives in me
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 14 days ago
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Dreaming
I keep dreaming
Luminescent drops brush my skin as I free fall
I am everywhere and nowhere
I keep dreaming
Phosphorescence flashes behind my eyes
I am blinded and seeing clearer than ever before
I keep dreaming
Currents spin me as if dancing with grace I do not have
I am a willing partner and entirely alone
I keep dreaming
There is no time that I can grasp in my hands
I am endless and finite
I keep dreaming
Riding a wave towards the unknown
I am afraid beyond comprehension and fearless
I keep dreaming
When I wake up I will remember nothing of this
I am the dreamer and the forgotten
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 1 year ago
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Lightyears
Across time and space, in every dimension
I am searching for you
Hands outstretched, grasping
You are just out of my reach
Close enough to feel the warmth
Radiating to my fingertips
You’re so far away
Lightyears cannot measure the distance
Do my eyes reflect the stars in them too?
Can you see the void in my chest
Where my heart should be?
Your face is clear as crisp starlight
I can’t see it through the blurred tears
The space next to me is shaped like you
But nothing is there
Is it you or me slipping further away?
Come and find me where we let go
I’ll be waiting for you
Hands outstretched, grasping
Searching for you, in every dimension
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 9 months ago
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Erased
How many times have I started to write
Writing and deleting
Writing and deleting
Looking at the blank screen
The lone cursor blinking slowly
What words do I use to explain this feeling inside me
That swells and ebbs, in tides that push and pull
No image or word can capture it
The longing to breathe life into nothing
To create from the complex well
What thread to pull so it unravels in me
And weaves together on the page
The emotion cascades through me like a waterfall
In the river it flows away
Leaving the fleeting feeling that I could be someone
But it is gone and the moment has passed
The screen is blank
I stare at the space my words stood in
What did I erase?
I don’t know anymore
Every backspace deletes another letter
If only it erased the feelings too
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 4 months ago
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Bleeding
You do your best to fix me
To bandage my wounds
And put me back together
When I once again fall apart
But you can’t fight the inevitable
Every pump of my heart
A piece of my soul drips out of me
I move through time in slow motion
Leaving a trail behind me
These wounds don’t heal
They run deep to my core
Like fissures in the earth
Cracks that creep in length
Until you look closer and realize
Another part of me has fallen away
My pain is constant
In every step I take
You tell me I’d have to stop the world
Just to stop these feelings
But even if I could
Even if you would
I can never stop this bleeding
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 3 months ago
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Chappell Roan
If I could make you feel the way I do
When her ethereal voice haunts my ears
Swept up in passion slick as morning dew
I am dancing on clouds in joy and tears
Would you worship at my roan chapel dear
On your knees in supplication so sweet
She sings of all I desire but fear
I remember it when I feel your heat
I cling to your hands grasping at my thighs
Unsure as I watch them make me obey
Chasing and chasing that far away prize
To hold them closer or thrust them away
The bittersweet pang of loneliness stings
You’ll never love me like the way she sings
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 1 year ago
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Will you weep for me?
I wonder if I were to die,
who would stand at my grave and cry?
Would I know the faces that came?
Who would at my feet lay their blame-
Their grief, their pain, their love, their hurt,
All wrapped in words both soft and curt.
I wonder if I were to die,
What hole would I leave, by and by?
Could I be replaced with quick act,
Leave no mark, nary an impact-
Would my name be lost to time past,
Forgotten in a world so vast.
I wonder if I were to die,
Would there be clear and sunny skies?
Or clouds of grey and dreary rain,
If the Sun turned from where I lain.
Who would come to speak out my name-
If anyone would bear the shame.
I wonder if I were to die,
Who will weep, and say their goodbyes?
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 3 days ago
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Red
I wear red because it is my color
The color of blood and life
Of rosy cheeks and bright eyes
Smiling red lips under a wind-red nose
The color of death and pain
Of holes in my chest weeping
Pooling into a wine-dark sea at my feet
When I wear red
You’ll never see me bleed
If I look at myself in red for long enough
I’ll stop seeing the blood too
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 1 year ago
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Eulogy
If you’ve known me in the past, she is dead
I left that self behind, she could not stay
I laid her in the tomb and walked away
Taking only what served me in good stead
I wrote her a eulogy, in my head
Thanked her for my life, left her a bouquet
The newest grave upon which I must lay
Shown to you, who has seen my common thread
To love me is to love all my old lives
With each incarnation, I’ll be reborn
From the same soul, same seed, a new bloom springs
Like summer after winter’s chill revives
Wail not for my past, there is naught to mourn
I rise anew, shaking ash from my wings
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 4 months ago
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Hi new followers! Orla here. Thank you very much for following my blog.
I rarely make non-poetry posts, and even those are inconsistent since everything is entirely based on when inspiration rattles around in my skull, but I wanted to welcome everyone who is here ❤️
I’m excited to continue sharing my poetry with you.
Xx
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welcomehome-orlakbarnett · 1 year ago
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Passing Through
When I sit in the quiet of my mind
I look at where I am in my life
The course I have taken to arrive at my now
It winds and twists through dark woods and sunny meadows
I am not where I want to be
The feeling of things not being right
Wells up in my throat and tightens my chest
Some of my loved ones are not right for me
But I cannot leave them yet
They still have things to teach me
I still have things to learn
One day I will walk past them and into a new path
The place I am is not where I am meant to be
I am only passing through
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