#ork-tioneer

[celticcanon]

Goddammit. Now I have an ork singing the Grundy County Auction stuck in my head. Fuck it.

Oi, I went down to the Armageddon Battle Auction Where Oi saw some'ting I just 'ad to 'ave Moi mind told me oi should proceed with caution But my heart said, "You's gotta make a bid on dat"

And Oi said "Ay pretty titan, won't yous gimme a sign? Oi'd give all me teef to make you mine o' mine I'll do your shootin' and mount skulls on you're hull" Yeah, Oi neber seen any dakka' so fine Man, I gotta 'ave her she's a one of a kind Oi's goin' once, goin' twice, Oi's sold

To da titan wit the big blasty hole She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, Oi know She's got ruby red paint, big stompa, blue dyes And Oi's 'bout to bid moi teef goodbye

Well, da ork-tioneer was goin' bout a mile a minute He was takin' bids and callin' dem out loud And Oi guess Oi was really gettin' in it 'Cause Oi just shouted out above the crowd

And Oi said

"Ay pretty titan, won't yous gimme a sign? Oi'd give all me teef to make you mine o' mine I'll do your shootin' and mount skulls on you're hull" Yeah, Oi neber seen any dakka' so fine Man, I gotta 'ave her she's a one of a kind Oi's goin' once, goin' twice, Oi's sold

To da Stompa wit da long black crest Oi smashed mor'teef, it was no contest With da ruby red paint, big shoota, blue dyes And, Oi'm a'bout to bid my teef goodbye

Yeah, Oi found love on da auction block And Oi hauled da hulk away And Oi still love and laugh about da way Oi got away

When Oi said

"Ay pretty titan, won't yous gimme a sign? Oi'd give all me teef to make you mine o' mine I'll do your shootin' and mount skulls on you're hull" Yeah, Oi neber seen any dakka' so fine Man, I gotta 'ave her she's a one of a kind Oi's goin' once, goin' twice, Oi's sold

To da titan wit the big blasty hole She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, Oi know She's got ruby red paint, big stompa, blue dyes And Oi's 'bout to bid moi teef goodbye

Storage Wars

But it's Orks on a massive battlefield scrapyard bidding for wreckages of Imperial and other vehicles up to and including a titan

You know something... I do think that would happen actually.

Orks, despite how they appear, are capable of mercantilism and trade. Though not with gold, but with the most common things orks posses: teeth. Gold is just an adornment to them, usually on their teeth. Orks grow teeth faster than sharks do.

So I can imagine an ork auctioneer (or an ork-tioneer, if you must) going something like:

"Oi've got a lurvely humie tank here! Bit of a fixer-upper, on account o' the big 'ole in the side, but that can be covered. Or another shoota stuck in. Staring bid is two-hundred teef! Do I 'ear 200?"

"Two-hundred!"

"Two-fifty!

"Three-hundred!"

*bang, smack, "RARGH!"*

"Three-fifty!"

Fun lore fact: the Bad Moons clan or orks have the fastest growing teeth of any ork clan, so they're incredibly wealthy by ork standards.

[nightbringer24]

Storage Wars

But it's Orks on a massive battlefield scrapyard bidding for wreckages of Imperial and other vehicles up to and including a titan

You know something... I do think that would happen actually.

Orks, despite how they appear, are capable of mercantilism and trade. Though not with gold, but with the most common things orks posses: teeth. Gold is just an adornment to them, usually on their teeth. Orks grow teeth faster than sharks do.

So I can imagine an ork auctioneer (or an ork-tioneer, if you must) going something like:

"Oi've got a lurvely humie tank here! Bit of a fixer-upper, on account o' the big 'ole in the side, but that can be covered. Or another shoota stuck in. Staring bid is two-hundred teef! Do I 'ear 200?"

"Two-hundred!"

"Two-fifty!

"Three-hundred!"

*bang, smack, "RARGH!"*

"Three-fifty!"

Fun lore fact: the Bad Moons clan or orks have the fastest growing teeth of any ork clan, so they're incredibly wealthy by ork standards.