#orion and the bad bitch he pulled by being a fucking loser

[koumori-1999]

orion and a younger ratchet (which is just his WFC design but poorly drawn/simplified to make it look similar to how i draw his TFP design)

what is he yapping about

[gothic-gnosis]

wow. that last post is funny. so, he hasnt texted since tht last post, he did respond but when i sent another photo, he did'nt. ive finally accepted that he just doesnt want me. i bought a fuckin belt to match his, however its a belt that makes sense. especially as both of us r malnourished skinny people.

slipknot reminds me of him. which sucks a lot cause i really like slipknot now. it reminds me of both of them. the thing is. im known for being extremely distant. i keep everybody arms length at all times. it sucks when i really need to talk but its fine. i'm just rlly glad i feel like im god now. ive accpeted that im pretty and that im a fucking weirdo . so thats cool.

i really genuinely enjoy working. everybody really likes me. stylists tip me. i havent been bullied by anybody for how i look so thats cool. i have yet to hear clients complaining about it. i wear platform boots or hello kitty converse. i wear chains and corsets. tripp pants are about to pull up in that bitch. i have a lot of egirl/emo fashion related shit, including homemade ripped fishnets, dog collars. nobody says anything about it. i think it might partly be because everything i wear is polished and flattering. i think the only downfall is my coat. and my stained jeans. and my fading fashion color lol. which ill redo on tuesday, it definitely can be purple and blue LOL.

i really love grimes. shes such a meme but i really love her music. i appreciate it a lot.

i miss him. i really do. i see his car everywhere. without the shitty paint job and torn ass insides. i want his playlist. he tried rlly hard to make me not panic when he drove me home. and then the time he called me and he thought i was asleep when rlly i was crying because he didnt drive me home LMFAO. what a fucking brat i am. although id avoid being alone with him considering he does play with my feelings a lot. and that hurts pretty bad lol. i think i tried really hard to get him to validate me and never got it beyond being ok to talk to and pretty. i miss him though. i miss having a person to obsess over. all i do now is work and smoke weed. like a loser. i just dont wanna see anybody anymore i think. im tired of having my feelings fucked with, honestly. it seems like i trust bad people. judas's mod doesnt even respond to me anymore so. its just you and me. future me reading and the one writing it now. maybe one day this will be all there is to remind myself this time period happened and how i felt. i do feel pretty empty and i am dissociating pretty bad. i wish i had an fp. i miss having a person to make me feel like a person. metallica goes hard.

i think my next tiktok will be me sayin "recording every time i dont feel like a person" with One lol. i love being a metal head. even tho im a goth, my peepee does get hard for metallica. big hard. HUGE. imagine. baby child 6 yr old me listening to my sister fall asleep to orion LOL. funny. i laugh.

anyways. idk. im pretty satisfied rn. im ok with being single. im ok not having an fp but i thought i was more lovable than this. like i thought i was a sexy bitch but then again nobody ever flirts with me. it turns out men actually dont want manic pixie dream girls??? i literally fit the criteria. im very much in the 3D manic pixie dreamgirl category but the thing is, i never open up because the story doesnt need it. i fit a very strict aesthetic, unclear past, fashion color. stable job so i never complain abt actual problems like poverty. liberal and a lil fruity.

i told myself if by 11:11 he hasn't texted me back. and if i see lime green jeeps, id drop him. floating balloons were the sign to keep waiting. i saw some on tiktok but--

not me discovering motley crue LMFAOOO. this is 10/10, my pp hard.

anyways. if he doesnt text me by 11:11 and if i see lime green jeeps, ill move on.