#originally this was supposed to end when beel left but i love fucking with me ocs

[noirrest]

the swiping motion of the knife had become muscle memory as mariette chops up the deviled devil's dill. they hardly think as they bring the knife up level to their rib and swipe down diagonally so the edge of the blade pushes past the cutting board.

she thinks back to when she had first arrived in devildom— or, more specifically— what she was doing prior to being teleported.

another attempt, that was all. another attempt to end her life.

being alive for so long would never be as fun as one would think. they'd never be able to feel the confort of death's hand, gently caressing their soul as she lead them to whatever afterlife was destined for a being such as them.

watching nations rise and fall became more depressing the more times she saw it. watching as the people inhabiting the land lose themselves to war. greed. famine. money.

being able to say: "oh! i watched as noah's arc sailed across the great earth, the conditions were shoddy, but at least it got the job done!" was never something they were able to take pride in.

watching as past lovers lived and fell was never something she took pride in either. she watched as they contracted diseases that easily could have been cured should she have felt like it. she watched as they were hunted at the stake. she watched from afar as they grew old.

they always buried that lover of the century in an attempt to make up for their lack of genuine feelings. they paid the highest dollar with money they had saved up and made sure to get the best priest of their religion.

thinking back on it, maybe this is where she got her infatuation with death. she'd watched too many people have the luxury of something she could never afford.

mariette zones back into the vegetable in front of them once they feel the end of the herb. "oh," they murmur, picking up the thumb that has accidentally been chopped off. they blink and hold it in front of their eyes, examining it as the digit began wiggling around at their command.

there was no blood spurting from her hand or thumb. just a void of black that lead to the rest of her body. a sign of my divinity, she thinks. my lack of humanity.

they reattach the thumb, watching as large stitches began wrapping themselves over the cut from under their skin.

mariette is disappointed belphegor's attempt on her life didn't work. she remembers the look of demented joy on his face when he supposedly snapped her neck. how mammon almost cried upon seeing the bone pop out from the side.

their body work on autopilot as they scoop the dill onto the knife and into the boiling pot of food. they pick up a laddle and begin stirring before moving into the meat.

she remembers teleporting herself to the top of the staircase, replacing the body in mammon's arms with some excess of her body that resides in the shadows of the mansion. she remembers grimacing over how she messed up one of the details on her so called corpse.

watching the disbelief on the brothers face as they sucked their tongue in disappointment, shifting their body away to look like the wings of an angel before they began flying away.

to be truthful with herself, she's disappointed belphegor wasn't able to follow through with his plan. of course, she would never be able to show that disappointment lest the brothers and angels show their never-ending concern and love.

mariette shakes themselves out of their thoughts, taking a deep breath as they continue hammering the large slab of bull meat. they can see beelzebub's hand out of the corner of their eye as he looks at the food from over their shoulder.

"i'll curse you if you try it, beel," she warns, kicking one of her legs back into his shin playfully.

the demon shakes his head and stops their pounding, grabbing hold of their reattached thumb. "what's this?" he asks, closely examining the stitch-work. "you hurt yourself." beel then says, much more firmly.

"no." mariette states pulling their hand away to pick at the now needless body part. "just some macaroni bits i cut up and glued on. forgot to take them off." they pull it all off and throw it to the floor, stomping on it to cover up the fact that it crawls up their leg.

beel hears the crunch sound and doesn't to question it any further, only pouting when he realized he wouldn't be able to eat it.

"is the food almost ready?"

mariette shakes her head and gestures to the meat. beel's pout deepens and his eyebrows furrow. "i'll help then. this is to big for you anyways. you could hit your hand."

".. send someone else down," they respond, snatching the mallet out of his hand. they push his shoulder to try and turn him and then push on his back to try and get him out the kitchen. "you'll only eat the food."

she knew beel's needless concern was coming from a good place, but it still managed to fluster her.

beel nods, trudging out of the kitchen and into the library to look for satan. he then turns on his heel and peeps his head back into the kitchen. "why'd you do that?"

"was bored." mariette answers without missing a beat or lifting their head. "saw it on devilgram and wanted to try it."

the demon hums and finally leaves.

mariette is alone with her thoughts once more, picking up the hammer in order to flatten it. she places her hand on top of the meat without much of a second thought. she brings the tenderizer up, hovering over the slab of meat that her hand left unoccupied.

it must have been a spur of the moment thing when they slammed the tenderizer onto their hand, watching as the skin began to turn a dark purple. "fuck." they mutter as they bring it into the light, a scowl covering their face.

"mariette?" satan voices, turning around the corner and into the kitchen. "are you alright? that slam was awfully loud."

she brings her hand down and into the pocket of the hoodie she had stolen from levi. she places the other inside with it, just to be safe. "mhm, just a close call." mariette answers, brushing past the blond so she can move to the bathroom. "i'll be right back. can you take over for me? i'll only be a couple minutes."

satan hesitantly nods, briefly glancing at their pockets before replacing their position at the bull meat.

mariette makes a hum of approval as they jog to the restroom, bringing their hands out and making sure they were covered by the sleeved of the hoodie.

[m00njunky]

Obey Me: None of the Above 1-6: The Avatar of Sarcasm

Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All Fanfiction | Multi-Chapter | (Semi) Alternate Canon | No Romantic Ships | Fan/Original Characters | Rated for Mild Language and Adult Themes | Friendship | Humor | Hurt/Comfort | CW/TW: (Mentioned) Death, Depression | Overall a Hopeful and Light-Hearted Story | Enjoy~! 

Mammon, still entirely angry at having to watch over a human who neither feared nor revered him, looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself after being caught off-guard by Noa’s happy expression.  He grimaced and appeared to blush before yelling again.

“So, what!  That’s your name isn’t it?” He turned back to his plate and grumbled something unintelligibly along the lines of “dumb fucking human getting all happy about a name what the fuck is up with that?”

“Hey, can you make another omelette for me?” Beel suddenly asked.

Turning around, Noa cheerfully replied that they would.  “It’s Beel, right?”  They asked, getting up from their seat.

“It’s short for Beelzebub.”

“Let me guess…” Noa paused dramatically and tapped a finger to their chin.  “You’re the Avatar of Gluttony, right?”

He looked genuinely surprised.  “How could you tell?”

Noa laughed.  “Lucky guess.  I’m Noa, the new transfer student.”

“I know,” Beelzebub responded and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I was there when you were summoned.”

Noa winced at the recollection.  As they were about to apologize for completely making a fool of themselves on arrival, someone else walked in.  He was gorgeous and slender, with skin that almost seemed to glow.  He cocked his hip to one side as he spoke in a melodic voice, “I was wondering who was making all this noise!  I hope you won’t keep this up all night, some of us are settling down for their beauty sleep, you know.”

After a short pause, the lovely stranger added, “It’s me, by the way.”

Mammon rolled his eyes.  “Great, now Asmo’s here.”

Noa turned to Mammon and inquired for clarification, “Asmo?”

The person in question strode up to Noa and smiled at them playfully.  “You called?  I’m Asmodeus the Avatar of Lust.  So pleased to meet you, Noa!”

Noa was about to echo the sentiment when they were interrupted.

“Thanks for such a great show earlier,” Asmodeus continued.  He placed a perfectly manicured hand to his lips as if to cover a giggle.  “I’ve never seen a human throw up after being summoned!  So funny!”

Despite themselves, Noa felt their ears burn a little.  “O-Oh, that--”

“Like hell it was,” Mammon shouted resentfully.  “I had to clean that up after you all left, you bastards!”

Asmodeus ignored his brother and sighed. “I was kind of jealous that you were going to get the new human all to yourself, Mammon.  But, it looks like I lucked out.”

Noa could feel the rudeness of his address, but couldn’t think of anything to say in that moment.

“If you want them, you can have them,” Mammon waved dismissively as he continued to eat.

“No thanks,” Asmodeus shrugged.  “I like my humans a little less...nauseous.”

Noa didn’t at all appreciate how the demons were speaking about them, and quietly excused themselves to start making another omelette.  They sighed only slightly theatrically as they cracked two buffo eggs into a large mixing bowl and said in a voice meant for the others to hear, “All for the better, then.  I prefer my demons a little less full of themselves.”

Silence followed.

“Oh my god,” Asmo declared with mouth agape.  “Did you just sass me?”

In the background, Mammon asked, “Was that a dig at me?”

Noa pretended not to hear anything and started to whisk the eggs.

“Ooh, you’re more feisty than I thought,” Asmodeus purred as he glided gracefully to Noa’s side, much closer than politely comfortable.  Noa didn’t flinch.

“Now that I’m looking at you,” Asmodeus murmured softly.  “You’re not too bad on the eyes.  Kind of cute, even.”

Noa was unmoved, but thanked him for thinking so.

Asmodeus slid a finger across Noa’s cheek to push a strand of hair out of their face.  Noa glanced up at him.  His face was much closer than they had originally thought.  If either of them leaned even a little forward, their lips might’ve touched.  His sunset-colored eyes gazed deeply into theirs and his breath tickled their skin.

Without breaking eye contact, Noa said in a very sensible tone, “I’m trying to cook here.”

Asmodeus blinked and stepped back, a bit perplexed.  “Hm...strange.  When I look into someone’s eyes, they’re usually immediately enamored by my charm.”  He pouted and crossed his arms.  “You’re not reacting at all!”

Noa smiled and said in a deliberately teasing voice, “I told you already: you aren’t my type!”

Asmo laughed in a way that made it seem he was trying not to be offended.  Noa hoped he was the type to give up after being rebuffed.  It appeared that he only liked to be involved when things were going his way.  Just then, the swinging of the door signaled the arrival of someone new.

“Satan, can you believe this?” Asmodeus cried.  “A human is resisting my charm as the Avatar of Lust!”

Noa glanced over to see a sharp-looking blonde man striding over to the fridge.  He opened it and grabbed something that looked like a sports drink.  He took a long swig of it before even acknowledging what Asmodeus had said.

“I didn’t realize you had charm,” was his curt reply.

Mammon burst out laughing.  “Ha! Good one!”

“You are all impossible!  There’s no one in the universe as lovely as me and you know it!”  Asmodeus flipped his hair and huffed, only half as mad as he was acting.

Ignoring Asmodeus’s clearly overblown outburst, Satan came over to look at what Noa was up to.  “As Asmo announced, I’m Satan.  It’s good to finally meet you, Noa.”  He smiled, spoke so politely, and even extended his hand out for a handshake.  It threw Noa off-guard.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Noa replied and cautiously took his hand.

“Don’t be fooled by that face,” Asmodeus warned, half-playful and half-serious.  “It’s all just an act.”

“Really?”  Noa asked, not looking away from Satan’s disarmingly pleasant face.  “And what’s your sin?”

Satan arched an eyebrow and laughed tersely.  “Are you a priest, Father Noa?”  He had the kind of demeanor that made one think they might be walking into a trap.  Saying one wrong thing could set him off, or he could be completely fine.  As they poured the whisked eggs into a heated frying pan, Noa came to a decision.

“I’m guessing...you’re the Avatar of Sarcasm.”

“That’s not a sin,” Beel innocently pointed out.

“It’s a joke, Beel,” Mammon drawled.

Ignoring the peanut gallery in the back, Satan responded to Noa’s observation of his cynicism, “If that were the case, I feel like you’d be giving me a run for my money.”  He smirked at them.

“It’s Wrath!” Mammon called from his seat.

Noa considered Satan’s appearance before them.  He looked back expectantly, seemingly very interested in Noa’s opinion.

“I never would have guessed.  Thought the green motif suited Envy more,” Noa wondered aloud, swirling the pan to cook the beaten eggs.

“That’s Levi,” Beelzebub replied.  “He’s almost always in his room, though.  I wonder if you’ll ever meet him.”

“He’s an otaku,” Asmodeus whispered and shuddered.

“Ah,” Noa said as if that was supposed to reveal something to them.  What did that mean again?  Otakus liked anime and video games, right?  There were probably more layers to it than that, but Noa was too busy trying not to break the surface of their cooked eggs.  They slid the omelette off the pan and started to grate the green cheese over the still steaming surface.  They rolled the omelette together and sprinkled a handful of chopped springwort over the top.  As they finished off their dish, they listed the demons they had heard about thus far.

“So, that’s Pride...Greed...Gluttony...Lust...Wrath...and Envy,” they paused to hand Beelzebub the omelette.  “Where is Sloth?”

-End Chapter 1-