#originally this was just gonna be about the sky kids in eden + the little prince but then i remembered that a good amount of spirits in sky

[janthecrow]

decided to post my sky:cotl edit here

[andersunmenschlich]

Genesis 2

That’s the end of creation! That’s how absolutely everything got created, bar none, creation finished, over, done, finito. No more creating. Bible says this “everything done” day is the seventh, so I guess the time before light and darkness got separated actually does count as a day. Who knew.

The gods, that’s who.

Anyhow, the gods made the seventh day a holy day, set apart as super special because that’s when they finished all the creating. The first day ever that they didn’t do any creating at all. They were done.

And now, suddenly, in verse four, the writer changes.

No, I’m not kidding. It’s a very abrupt shift. Most noticeably, we’re not talking about the gods in general anymore: “אֱלֹהִ֖ים” is now always prefaced by “יְהוָ֥ה”—Yhvh, a specific god! “Gods” gets used like a last name now. It’s like, instead of “the Millers did thus-and-such,” now it’s “Alex Miller did thus-and-such.”

New writer. Real obvious.

Anyway! Our new divinely inspired writer takes us back to before the gods told the earth to sprout plants.

This writer tells us that the reason there weren’t any plants was because Yhvh God hadn’t made it rain or created Adam to aerate and fertilize the ground. Strange. I’d gotten the impression that there weren’t any plants because the gods hadn’t created them yet.

Our new writer also tells us that mist rose from inside the earth and watered the ground. Huh.

That would seem to make the lack of rain unimportant. Why say that there weren’t any plants because there was no rain when rain wasn’t needed?

Weird.

Anyway, Yhvh God took some dirt and shaped it into a kind of golem, then breathed into its nose, and poof! Adam.

Uh.

The plants still haven’t been created. I definitely remember Adam coming after the plants.

Land, space, water, and darkness—light, night, and day—sky—sea, dry land, plants—sun, moon, and stars—sea creatures and flying things—land animals—then Adam. And after Adam, nothing except deciding what everything but the sea creatures are going to eat.

Adam was last. I remember that very clearly (it was only ten or eleven verses ago). What kind of divinely inspired contradiction is this?

Ow, no, don’t throw things.

I’m just confused, that’s all. I don’t know how Adam could be created both before and after the plants. Probably I’m stupid. The Bible couldn’t be wrong, after all! Somehow, I’m sure, the gods created Adam male and female on the sixth day and Yhvh God created Adam plain old male on the third day. I don’t know how that’s possible. But the Bible says it happened, so it must have.

Ah, I know. The first writer messed up the plurals and singulars. Divine inspiration ruined by mortal stupidity! There’s only one god—Yhvh God—and there were two Adams, one male and one female.

...Except that still leaves the problem of those two Adams being made on both the third day and the sixth. Uh.

And wait, this new writer says there was only one Adam, one single male Adam.

...Okay, so the first writer messed up hard, then. They wrote “gods” instead of “god.” They said one intersex Adam… or maybe two Adams, one male and one female… were created on the sixth day instead of one male Adam being created on the third.

That’s… that’s some serious error right there.

Ow! Ow! Quit it!

Look, it’s not my fault! I’m not trying to make the Bible inconsistent! It’s just, look! First the Bible says man was created after the plants and now it says man was created before the plants!

This isn’t my fault! I didn’t make it say that! It just says it, all on its own!

Ow!

All right, all right!

So maybe I misread? Maybe the first part wasn’t meant to be read in a strictly linear way? I know it’s all “this happened, then this happened, then this happened—the first day. This happened, then this happened—the second day.” But maybe you’re supposed to skip around? Maybe the things that apparently happen in one day are actually happening in another?

…That’s stupid! No! I can’t convince myself of that at all!

Ow, ow, okay! Maybe I just don’t understand it because I’m the stupid one, and I’ll never be able to understand it no matter how hard I try—not because it’s dumb, but because I am. Fine, fine, you win, I give up.

So, after creating Adam, Yhvh God creates a garden in a place called Pleasure (“עֵדֶן,” Eden), and sticks Adam in the garden. Yhvh God also makes all kinds of trees that are pretty and/or produce tasty fruit grow in the garden, as well as the tree of Life and the tree of Being Able to Tell the Difference Between Good and Bad.

Side note to tell us about a river that runs through the garden, then splits into four rivers, each of which runs through or along a different place.

The original river doesn’t get a name, but the other four are Increase, Bursting Forth, Rapid, and Fruitfulness. Increase runs through the land of Circle (which has just the best gold, you guys, and awesome gum resin and precious stones, too). Bursting Forth goes through the land of Black. Rapid runs along the east side of Assyria. And we all know Fruitfulness, everyone knows the Euphrates, no need to explain that any further here.

Why this is important, I don’t know. Scene-setting? Nobody’s been able to find the garden of Pleasure using these directions, so it can’t be for that. Anyway, I’m sure Yhvh God knew perfectly well, when he was inspiring this writer, that a worldwide flood was gonna seriously change topography later on.

So the idea is that Adam will be a gardener.

No, this is obvious. There were no plants because there was no man to cultivate the ground? Adam gets put in the garden to tend and keep it?

There’s a reason man exists, and it’s to look after Yhvh God’s plants.

Ow! What?

Oh, the whole “dominate every living thing and even the earth itself” thing? Look. I’m not sure how much I want to trust that first writer, what with their gods and adams and plants being created before humans and all.

Yeouch! Dagnabbit, what?

I can’t throw out any of the Bible? I have to make all of it make sense, all together?

But it contradicts!

Ow! Stop it!

Okay, okay, it doesn’t contradict! I’m stupid! Men exist both to look after plants and to dominate everything, they were created on the third day and on the sixth day, they were spoken into being and they were dirt brought to life, they were male and female and they were just male!

Yhvh God told Adam he could eat fruit from every tree in the garden except anything off the tree of knowing the difference between good and bad, because if he ate anything from that tree “מ֥וֹתתָּ׃ מֽוּת”—he’d be as dead as dead gets that very day.

Then Yhvh God gets to thinking that maybe it’s not great for Adam to be alone.

Uh.

Don’t hit me, but didn’t Adam have Yhvh God? Like… was he really alone? God was there! I grew up hearing that when God’s with you, you’re never alone.

What good is “I will never leave you nor forsake you” if, even with God there, you’re still alone?

Augh, no! I’m sorry I asked!

[nervous breathing, cough]

Okay. So.

Since it’s not good for Adam to be alone (and he’s alone even with God), Yhvh God decides to make a suitable helper for him. Which Yhvh God does by forming animal golems out of dirt and bringing them to life.

….

I… look, I know I’m dumb. But I swear this contradicts what we were told in chapter one.

“Let birds fly above the earth across the face of the sky” on day five, before Adam was ever made, and “let the earth bring forth living creatures” on day six, also before Adam was made, is not compatible with “out of the ground Yhvh God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.”

Don’t you try to tell me Yhvh God had formed every beast of the field! “וַיִּצֶר֩” is a consecutive imperfect verb just like “וַיָּבֵא֙” (“and brought them”)! They’re the same tense!

Ow! Fine, I’ll move on.

So, being as God isn’t good enough company, he figures maybe a horse will work as a companion for Adam. Or a cow, maybe. How about a dung beetle? Pigeon?

Yhvh God seems kind of stupid, honestly.

Aaah! Fire! No! Bad! Put down the—where did you even get those pitchforks?!?

Right, so, Yhvh God makes all the animals and birds out of dirt and brings them to Adam, in the garden of Pleasure, and whatever Adam calls each one is the name it gets. This is probably a real long process, on account of how many different animals there are, but even after Adam’s named the very last glyptapanteles wasp, he and Yhvh God still haven’t turned up any lower animal suitable to be Adam’s companion and helper.

So Yhvh God goes ahead and makes a more appropriate lower animal.

Ow! Dangit! Look, I’m just saying! It’d be one thing if Adam and Eve were made at the same time, in the same way, like they maybe were in Genesis 1:27, but this is Genesis 2:22, and Eve is obviously not Adam’s equal here!

She’s a tiny part of Adam, a bit he can do without. Yhvh God puts him in a coma, pulls out a single rib. That’s Eve.

Like Adam says when he wakes up and sees her, she’s one of his own bones, a piece of his own body. She’s not her own being as such, she’s a little chunk of him that was removed so he’d have company.

Don’t look at me like that!

What other conclusion are readers expected to draw when one person is literally a single bone pulled from the other one? Especially when the bone-person was made specifically for the sake of the original human.

Anyway, the new writer says this is why a man leaves his parents and is joined to his wife such that the two become one flesh: because that’s what they were in the beginning, one body. The man goes looking for his missing rib and clings to it—the rib gets absorbed by the original body. Man is not complete without woman (woman is never complete, any more than a gear is complete with or without a clock: it’s the clock that’s complete with the gear, and incomplete without it).

Stop hitting me! What is wrong with you people? This interpretation was accepted just fine for hundreds of years, and you know it! This new idea that the Bible would never say women were created not on their own merits but rather for the sake of men—it’s completely ridiculous because look, Bible!

Don’t like the idea of women being lesser than men? Too bad! Leviticus 12:2 and 5! 1 Corinthians 11:9! Ephesians 5:22! Deal with it!

And now another side note: they were both completely unclothed, and it didn’t bother them psychologically. No shame, no embarrassment, none of that. No word on how they felt re: weather, plants, bugs, etc.

End of chapter.

Anyone else feel like these chapters end a bit awkwardly? Like they were randomly slapped in by people who weren’t actually reading any of it?

[hardsquare]

Every wave of the storm

In the beginning, Steve had no one — the world around him was his own, quiet, barbaric nightmare. And then, Steve had Bucky. And things started to change; Steve learned to blossom.

wc ~ 3k.

[READ ON AO3]

4th July 2019 - 2:33 am

Steve is not good with sleeping. He doesn't really know what time it is exactly, but he knows that the night is pitch black and that the moon is high in the sky. He knows that, because he never closes his curtains. Not completely, at least. Not that Steve is afraid of the dark, not anymore. He just loves to stare at the empty nothing during his sleepless nights. And he’s okay with that, really. He made peace with his incapability to have a healthy sleep schedule a long time ago.

When he can’t sleep, like tonight - and a lot of other nights, let’s be honest -, he takes time to analyze everything that’s around him. The bed, the soft comforter around him, the paintings  - his paintings- on the walls. The bottle of water on his nightstand, the record player on the corner of the room with the Led Zeppelin vinyl still on it - he can’t help himself, he physically has to listen to ‘ I can’t quit you baby’ at least 4 times a day or he’s not in his right state of mind.

Anyway, the room is still the same in the middle of the night than it is at 3pm, or even 9pm for that matter. There is still something  different about the darkness of his apartment. The shapes on the wall in front of the bed, more like shadows actually. Steve used to be so afraid of them. Especially at night, just like this. Now he just embraces it. He tells himself entire stories about the strange silhouettes in the obscurity, as if it’s now his own little garden of Eden.

While observing this weird dance in front of him, Steve allows himself to drift into his memories, when he was still afraid of the dark.

4th July, 2002

It’s a sunny and beautiful day, and most of all: it’s Steve’s 8th birthday. He’s just finished eating his lunch with his mother; she made a chocolate cake for him and Steve just feels happy, because he knows his mom doesn’t have much money for this. Yet, every year she never fails to cook a homemade chocolate birthday cake. Steve loves his mom so much.

“Don’t forget to make a wish, honey,” Sarah says, just after humming the happy birthday song to his son. Steve closes his eyes, and thinks about what he could wish for. Maybe more money so his Ma could be home with him more? Maybe a shiny new bike? What about a healthy year, for a change? He squints his eyes even more and wishes, he wishes so hard that this year, maybe, he won’t feel as lonely as the previous ones. With that thought in mind, he blows his eight candles in one go.

When Steve arrives at the playground, his fingers are wrapped tight around the cake’s leftovers he brought with him. He originally wanted to share it with the kids here. They are children from his apartment building and they are all about his age.  His mom always asks why he’s not hanging out more with them, and he never wants to say that he tried , they just don’t want him . But Steve thinks maybe today is the day. So he walks, confident, and introduces himself again. “Hey guys, it’s my birthday today! Do y’all want some cake? It’s chocolate !”

There’s a big blank as the kids just turn over to Steve and look at him from head to toes, like he’s some kind of alien or such. Steve can actually see them laugh at him, talking among themselves and pointing fingers. But all Steve can hear is a mess of confusion. “Hah, guys, Rogers is at it again with his stupid cake, like we’re gonna want to hang out with you, you stupid freak.”

And they all laugh, again. Steve turns around, holding his tears, dropping the cake on the ground. He runs back to his house and goes straight to his bedroom to unload the tears. Steve has always been an unhealthy child, as you could say. He has asthma, arrhythmia, and weak muscles. He always has clutches or a cast on any of his limbs.

And he can’t hear. Not well at least. And Steve can’t remember a time when he was able to listen, really listen , to a conversation between him and more than two people at once.

People never try to help him with that. Not the other kids, not the doctors, not even the teachers. Beside his mom, he has always been alone. He knew from the beginning he needed to be fixed, he just didn’t know how . Sarah has the decency to give him some time before she’s knocking softly at his door.

“Honey, baby. What’s wrong ?”

She helps herself in the little boy’s bedroom and sits carefully on the edge of the bed.

“They all think I’m a freak” Steve sniffs, his face still in his pillow, holding his eeyore’s plushie close to his heart. Sarah looks at her son, putting her hand on the nape of his neck. After a little while, he turns around to watch her.

“And why would they think that?” “I don’t know, maybe I am.”

Steve is still crying, but the touch of her mom and her simple presence makes him feel a little bit better. “Honey, you can tell me what happened. I’m not going to be mad at you, I promise.”

Steve knows her mom is telling the truth, she always does. He sits himself on the bed, not looking at his mom’s eyes, ashamed.

“I could not hear them, mom. I can never really hear them. It’s wrong, everything is wrong with me.” He can feel the sad sigh his mother makes.

“Baby, I need you to listen to me very carefully. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re absolutely perfect the way you are. Those children don’t know how special you are, and the fact that you can’t really hear the right way does not mean you’re broken. I wish that someday you’ll be able to understand that.”

And with those words, she’s taking her son into her arms and holding him tightly against her chest.

Deep down, Steve might know his Ma is right. That he should not care about what some random stupid kids think of him.

But it still hurts. And in his little boy’s heart, he can’t stop thinking about how shattered he is.

28th August, 2005

Steve has always loved summer. He can’t really get sick, and he can spend hours under the sun drawing everything he sees around him.

He’s eleven years old now and he’s learnt to spend his time alone. Not that he wants to, it’s just easiest this way, is all. Today is a particularly gorgeous day. He is sitting on a bench in the garden attached to his block. He’s alone, except for the old lady feeding the birds, but it’s okay, Steve likes the old lady.

He can sometimes see his mom watching him from their balcony three floors above. He knows she wants to be discreet so he just smirks to himself and dives into his sketchbook a little more. Today he feels like drawing his mother. Of course there’s a lot of her in his sketches, but he adores her and he doesn’t have many more models, anyway. He decides to draw her with a big smile on her face, holding the birthday cake she always makes for him on July 4th.

Not so strangely, this memory brings a lot of mixed feelings to Steve. Happiness, sorrow, all the things Steve does not want to think about at the moment.

He is focusing on his mother’s eyes when he feels a little tap on his shoulder.

He turns around, abruptly. “What?!” “Hum, hey? I’m sorry, I called you but I’m not sure you heard me so I, hum..”

A dark haired boy about his age is standing in front of him. Steve has never seen him here and by the look on the boy’s face, he truly has no intention of mocking him. “S’okay… Do you want something?”

Steve really, really , tries to be nice with the stranger. He’s just not used to having conversations with kids his age, that’s all. The boys seem confused at first but still smile widely at Steve.

“Not really, I just wanted to introduce myself. Me and my family just moved to this building,” he points at the block Steve and his Ma lives. “My name is Bucky!”

He extends his hand to Steve, watching him like he’s the goddamn sun- or maybe he’s just facing the actual sun, that’s why. Steve shakes his hand and attempts a smile, “Nice to meet you, I’m Steve.” And with the years passing, Steve actually learns that Bucky wasn’t trying to mock him on this brightful day. And it might just have been the best day of his entire life.

18th September, 2009

It’s the third time since the beginning of the school year. Somehow, Steve always finds himself stuck in an alley with assholes insulting him, shouting at him, as if he could hear them. So he does the only thing he can think of: he fucking punches them in the face.

Unfortunately for Steve, he’s still very much skinny, he still very much can’t breathe correctly; and when the dude hits back he hits hard, and Steve falls on his ass and against the wall. “Hey Rogers, it’s just us now, can you hear me or are you just pretending like you always do?”

Ah, yes. When he was a child, the other kids were laughing at him because he could not hear them correctly. Now, they’d think he was just lying to them, like it was funny for him to constantly ask people to repeat, please; and like it’s hilarious to be hit in some random alley by the same jackass every week.

“Fuck you, shithead,” Steve mutters under his breath. He is not about to bend down in front of this prick. Yes, even if he is indeed ass on the ground right now. As he waits for the next punch to come, he closes his eyes and feels absolutely nothing .

He cocks an eyebrow and opens only one of his eyes.

And he sees Bucky, actually pulling one of the guys by the collar, looking considerably pissed . Steve doesn’t know if it’s at him, but he’s glad his friend is here, - once again. The next few minutes are a mess of words shouted that Steve doesn’t understand, punches and name callings. When the guys finally leave, Bucky is all over Steve; who is still sitting on his butt on the floor, thank you very much.

“Damn Stevie, did they hurt you ?”

So, Steve can guess that Bucky is not mad at him, and that’s good.

“Why did you have to punch them? Can’t you walk away and let them talk like the stupid fuckheads they are?!”

Okay, so maybe Bucky is a little bit pissed, actually. Steve suddenly loses it and pushes Bucky away from him, before he gets up.

“Because, Bucky. I’m tired of being insulted and treated like I’m a freak or something. I know I am, they don’t need to remind me everytime they see me. But nothing, absolutely nothing can fix this. Can fix me .”

The look on Bucky’s face stiffens. “You’re not a freak, stop saying that.”

Steve can actually see that he’s trying. He’s trying so much to make him feel better. But he can’t and Steve knows that. The struggle he feels, and the loneliness he experiences every damn seconds of his damned life, Bucky can’t do anything about this.

With tears and a heavy heart, Steve turns around and begins to walk.

“Whatever, let’s go home.”

And it kills him to turn away from Bucky, because he knows that someday, perhaps he’ll leave too.

And he’s not sure his heart can handle a life without Bucky.

23rd November, 2012.

Bucky didn’t leave. Quite the opposite, actually.

Bucky stayed and was here for every step of Steve’s difficult life.

Surgeries, medical treatment gone bad, relapses, aftermaths... Bucky was always here, taking him to the hospital, at his bedside when he woke up from anesthesias. And it honestly makes Steve’s heart fly like a freaking butterfly. He cannot really understand that already, but he likes it. Maybe more than that. But what Steve is about to do, he needs to do it alone. Without Bucky, without his mom. On his own. And with all the confidence he has in his gut, he steps inside the store for his appointment.

When they put the device onto his ears, it first feels strange. Weird. He’s so used to not being able to hear, it’s almost too much. The person in charge assures him that it’ll feel better with time, he just needs to get used to it.

As soon as Steve gets out of the store, he feels like a train is rolling towards him at full speed. What the fuck is happenning, and why is everything so damn loud, and why the hell are those people even talking about on this damn tv program, and oh god why is this woman’s voice so acute and - oh, God.

Steve has to find Bucky. He has to find him right now, because the only thing he can think of is how much he aches for Bucky’s voice. Running full speed is not a problem anymore for Steve. After his heart surgery, his stamina is almost back to normal. But it’s enough for him to run to Bucky today.

He finds him sitting on their bench, the one where they met all those years ago, the one where they always hang out when they have free time. Bucky is wrapped in his big coat and scarf, scrolling on his phone, like nothing has changed.

He sees him running to him so he puts his phone in his pocket and genuinely smiles at him.

“Hey Steve, what’s up ?”

And Steve…  Steve can’t answer.

Because Steve is now crying his heart out and sobbing like it’s his eighth birthday all over again. Because he can finally, after all this time, hear his best friend’s voice. His raspy yet chocolate coated voice that he somehow already loves with his whole being. “What? Steve? Is everything okay? I swear to God if those punks are messing with you again Imma throw hands.”

Steve can see that Bucky is, honest to god, freaking out, holding him close. But he can’t help himself and cries and cries. And when he can finally compose himself a bit, he looks at Bucky in his beautiful grey eyes, and just kisses him.

Bucky pauses for a moment, then he deepens the kiss and it’s the most perfect, messy, and actually the only kiss of Steve’s entire life. It’s short and chaste but when their lips parts, Bucky still seems confused.

“Sorry,” Steve whispers, actually not sorry at all.

“Oh God, no, don’t be,” Bucky pauses. “But I still gotta ask, what happened, Stevie?”

Steve is looking at him in the eyes, instead of at his lips like he always had to do since they met, because he had to lipread. But now, now he doesn’t have to.

And something must click in Bucky’s big brain because his eyes widens and his mouth opens like he just saw a giant bee in the middle of Steve’s forehead. “Steve, are you...?” And gently, he tucks one of Steve’s long locks behind his ear and sees. “Oh my god Steve! When?” “Today, I ran as fast as I could, I wanted to hear your voice.”

And Bucky smiles, smiles. And he never stops smiling at Steve, like he’s the goddamn sun. But this time, it’s a gloomy November greyish day and there’s no ray of sunshine in Bucky’s eyes. Just Steve.

And it might actually be the second best day of his life, he thinks.

4th July 2019 - 3:02am

Steve is back in his bedroom, watching the shadows from the outside still dancing on his wall. He’s smiling. He is now 25- it’s been roughly 3 hours, he just saw the clock -, and he’s more happy than he ever was.

He’s feeling better now. The heart surgery changed everything and he now has a very normal stamina. He can breathe, he’s not as sick as he used to be, which is great. He’s going to the gym at least four times a week and ah, he can hear his Ma’s voice from here, “Stop growing like this Steven Grant Rogers, we got it, you’re taller than all of us!” He chuckles at the fond memory.

But what’s made Steve the man he is today is everything he understood those past few years.

It’s not the physical part. That, everyone can do. He learned that he never needed the validation of other people. He only needed to find out his true self, be gentle with himself and allow himself some time to grow.

But mostly, he realized that he didn’t need to be fixed, like he thought his entire life before that, like others wanted to make him think. No matter how much people still wanted to take him down, even now.

Steve was perfect the way he was, the way he was born, and it’ll always be the case. Weak heart, or not, loose stamina, or not.

Hearing impaired, or not.

Steve feels the quilt move a little and rearranges himself on the bed, feeling a little bit tired again - it is still 3am, after all. He gazes at the other side of the bed fondly as Bucky seems deeply asleep against the pillows, drooling a little.

Steve knows he’s snoring, not that he can hear it, but he just knows it. And that’s all that matters to him.

With all those thoughts- the good, the bad, everything that makes Steve the man he is today, he wraps himself around his boyfriend’s back tightly. And it doesn’t take long for him to join Bucky in his sleep, dreaming of friendly shadowy shapes in a starry, black sky.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

If you have too much lore for SIX, then why don't you share some of it with us please?

OKAY OKAY SO--

This is gonna sound like an angel AU, but I swear it’s not. It’s just all my world building and lore for SIX because I’m Extra

SO, after death, the queens and Ladies all go to Heaven and become angels. Most of them never see each other, despite the hundreds of years spent up there, because Heaven is freaking huge. Plus, there are different sectors and their appearance is quite funky. You know, wings, halo, thousands of eyes, glowing white body- stuff like that.

Other than Heaven, there is also Hell, Purgatory, and Limbo. Bessie actually spent quite awhile in Purgatory after her death waiting to be judged because God couldn’t decide if she was a sinner or not, but eventually let her into Heaven. Elizabeth had the same treatment, but got in much quicker because God rationalized that the things she did was for her people, and that was good enough for him.

While Heaven is made of up marble temples on clouds and Hell is a giant cave system, Purgatory is kinda like a waiting room. It’s all very grey and those waiting to be judged are in chains. So they just kinda sit there.

Hell is, of course, as you expect. Lava, caves, dark. Henry and Mary both went there without a blink of an eye.

And then there’s Limbo, which is the old, disposed carcass of Garden of Eden after the whole Adam and Eve fiasco went down. It’s a huge dark, purplish forest that is always covered in fog and covered in rotting plants. People who aren’t good enough to go to Heaven, but not bad enough to go to Hell roam here for all eternity. Neither Satan nor God wants them because they’re so useless. They left no mark on the world, did nothing to help it, but did nothing to harm it, either. They’re just sort of there.

These are the Lost Souls.

Lost Souls have no mouth. Or nose. Or ears. There’s no point. Instead, all they have are two gaping black sockets, because even their eyes were taken from them when they got to forest. And yet, they can still see. And they can still feel, despite what God and Satan think.

Joan wanders here. Forever. After a thorough judgement by both God and Satan, she was thrown into Limbo after being deemed “unworthy” of Heaven and Hell. So now she just walks through the dark fog, with only half-attached memories clinging to what’s left of her brain.

And then, reincarnation happened.

Every one hundred years, a series of angels are chosen to be reincarnated to “try again” at life. After five hundred years, God finally decides it’s been long enough and he gathers the queens and three very important Ladies to be reincarnated. They were supposed to be completely reborn as someone new, but it was Aragon who gave him the idea of letting them try again with their old bodies, to have the chance to tell their stories. God that was pretty dope and agreed.

Each queen and Lady were stripped of their wings, halos, and cool angel bodies. As former angels, they had a very high intelligence and full knowledge of the modern world, so they didn’t come back confused over toasters of anything like that, but they don’t realize right away that they were originally angels. That’s something that develops in their memories the longer they live. 

The queens came first, all waking up on the same day, during the same storm, at their grave sights. They merged together and formally met at the church where Jane was buried, and tensions immediately broke out between them all because “ugh i had to be reincarnated remembering YOU?” “don’t flatter yourself, sugar tits, we all know you were the dumbest fucking angel in Heaven” God then creates the loudest thunderclap to shut them up and they’re all like “sorry, Dad...”

Another heavenly being in disguise is the one to get them all settled because God pampered his girls and got them a whole house and money, like damn, talk about being spoiled. However, he did not actually create the musical himself, he had seen two college kids writing it and that’s what had made him decide to reincarnate the queens.

Anyway, so each queen and Lady are reincarnated with a sole purpose in living again, and they have to complete that task if they ever want to go back to Heaven. And if they die before completing the task, they’re just reincarnated again. Which did not bode well for Bessie, who killed herself the moment she woke up and was kicked back into the human world after popping into Heaven again. This repeated for about three times before she got the memo and stopped. Reluctantly.

The tasks were as such: Aragon- Be a mother; Anne- Try not to get executed this time; Jane- Be nice; Cleves- Don’t lock yourself away, I know money is cool, but make a family to call your own; Kitty- Be a teenager; Cathy- Tell your story; Maria- Make up the time lost when you and Aragon were separated; Maggie- Learn to cope with the execution; Bessie- Be happy

The Ladies were supposed to shortly follow the queens, but a sudden unbalance in the world was detected and their reincarnation was postponed to settle it. God thought he had it under control, but little did he know the presence of the queens waking up opened a tear in Limbo.

So, a few months pass and the Ladies can finally be reincarnated after God deems it safe to leave. However, instead of being woken up all at once, they go one by one to hopefully try and keep things steady in the world (but the damage had already been done).

During a storm, just like the ones the queens came back during, the Ladies awaken. Maria came back first on Monday, Maggie on Wednesday, and Bessie on Friday, although she didn’t show up until Sunday because she was reincarnated at the old castle and wandered around London for awhile in a daze. 

A week then passes. All is fine. The Ladies get settled in with the queens until their own housing can be arranged, and they’ve even started picking up music. And then, one night, something happens.

Kitty noticed it first- the things falling from the sky. At first they thought it was hail, but upon closer inspection, the objects actually looked like pieces of shriveled up fruit? Kind of like the ones on the Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil... And then, Anne idly points out a shooting star...which looked more like a meteor as it came closer to their backyard. 

They all watched as something hits the ground so hard it slides through the earth, leaving a trench in its wake, and a crater where it landed. But it isn’t a meteor at all, rather a skinny, naked girl with eyes the same color as the moon beaming down on her.

It was Joan. 

Lost Souls were not meant to get out of Limbo. They don’t have the intelligence or stability of God to survive on their own. There’s also no point for them to be alive again- if they were useless before, why give them a second chance to be useless again? However, Joan really did not want to go back to Limbo because it’s awful and she finally has a mouth again, so she refuses until God finally gives up, but he leaves her with this knowledge: Lost Souls were not meant to interact with angels, even former angels. She’s only there because the presence of Anne, Jane, and Katherine, her former mistresses, were strong enough to draw her out, but that does not mean they will like her. If she dies, she would not be getting a second chance, so she better make this next life last because it’s back to Limbo the moment she’s dead.

And thus, the reincarnated queens and Ladies are explained!

If you really wanted to go into the details about the kids, basically Elizabeth and Edward are sent back for obvious reasons, and then God decides to throw down Mae because why not let the two year old have another chance. He, however, does not set free Mary, nor does Satan. That stank ass bitch literally clawed her way out of Hell because of Aragon’s presence, the fuck. Like, stay in your hole where you belong, girl. Ain’t nobody want to see your ugly, makeup-caked, smoke-smellin face. Damn.

Also, if you’re wondering why Joan is stated to be naked and the others aren’t, it’s because angels wear robes and stuff, so the queens and Ladies come back in a white gown. Lost Souls, however, don’t even get clothes and wander Limbo naked. Because they don’t even got their genitals anymore.

[thehandsomeasshole]

@starttheanarchy from X

"Then why use them for a job they are not meant for, just keep them to their original purpose and make something new that works for what you need. And because quality work will save in the long term with less repairs, replacements, and malfunctions over all. And your welcome." The wide grin could be heard in her last three words. She was raised to have some manners after all. "And DT could probably do it as long as the load weight isn't over hmmm..." She drifts off as fingers tap together, mental math being calculated. "Eight tonne? Maybe less. I'm not exactly sure on that front since I actually haven't tested his limits on that front. Hmm something to test another day." Her eyes drifted over the floating form of her robot as it stayed ever vigilant of her surroundings. She knew it could do some heavy lifting since she had used previous versions to move things in the junk yard.

Eyes roll at yet another reason on why to avoid corporations, and another as he seems to enjoy being a pest.

"Actually last thing I did was fix up several things that were in disrepair in Overlook, since too much of the population of that poor town have the skull-shivers and had no access to the medicine. Something about repair tickets being ignored or something like that. And I didn't come here for the shallow reason of becoming rich, I'm opening the vault to try and prevent a very clearly corrupt corporation from monopolization on something that might be a blessing or a curse." If she had it her way, she would keep it locked forever since no one has a full understanding of the capabilities and issues of Eridium that began to spawn after the first one opened. To many variables and yet everyone wanting to just add more into the chaos.

"Yes, yes. The definition fits, but you seem to think I am on the same level of depravity like the Fleshrippers or the Bloodshots. To which all I can say is, rude and incorrect. And princess? Really?" That got her to shoot a glare back at the space station.

"Not everyone. Yes there are people who still deserve a chance to be treated like a decent human because they are. But you seem to be hard at work for making it so those people are just as dead as the rest. And you are right, no one has used an army of robots to lay siege on a planet in the name of their own ideals. They used armies of people, and all of them were considered like a plague upon humanity in the context of history. Dictators, tyrants, oppressors, authoritarians, monsters. Wonder how will you be written down."

At the laughter, and how it grew as she talked about what started this whole hot mess off for her on planet side, it made her skin itch with irritation. Out of everything on this fucking disaster hellscape, it was Hyperion that tried to kill her first. Sure others might have had to deal with bandits at other stops, but she went from off the inter-space shuttle to the train with no issues.

It was fair to say Jack was the first person to try to actually kill her. Even when escaping Eden-5 they were aiming for capture to make her life a living hell instead of a death sentience. It was one of the reasons she was trying so damn hard to keep surviving at this point, out of spite for the asshole who tried to kill them after using some shitty signs to inform them of their supposed doom.

Hands were clenched into fists and she could feel a chill roll through her body. It was like the ice never left at times.

A deep breath as she turns her face to the sun that burns the landscape, she is fine and alive. And she isn't going to follow his script and get pissed. She isn't going to scream like everyone else on this planet. The Mechromancer is going to do what she always does, go against what is expected.

"How about you tell me something else instead. You worked with the Crimson Raiders? What happened? What is the full story, from beginning to end?" Her voice is calm and even, one that seems to hold no judgment and wanting to listen. And she does, after all there isn't much information on the group. Gaige had no plans to jump ship, but she honestly had as much trust for them as she did for most anyone on this planet that wasn't shooting at her. Eden-5 taught her that the only person she could ever trust was her father and the friends she created with her own two hands.

"No bullshit, no propaganda. Just your side of the story. I have time."

Jack did smile at the little sass she threw his way, despite himself. "Well, empty, those things weigh nearly five tonnes. So, nice try. I guess." He chose to ignore her initial comment about using the loaders for their designed purpose. There was not enough patience in Jack's body to unpack all of that right now.

"Oh, the vaults are definitely a curse. But, once you get the ball rolling around here, there's not really anything anyone can do to stop it." Jack shrugged lightly, scanning through the first four pages while he spoke, "You just… gotta do what you can before another idiot comes along and screws everything up even worse than you did."

"Nah, you're right. Princess made me feel a little icky. How about… I- I'll get back to you, I'll think of something real good." he laughed lightly, beginning to scribble down some notes on the papers before he continued. 

"You sure as hell act like 'em, you and your bandit buddies. Just exactly how many things or people have you killed since you got to Pandora? Hey, look, I'll even give wildlife a pass cause- Well, you could kill a hundred skags one day and the next day there'd be two hundred more. Let's just focus on people. Maybe you're not running around screaming about meat bicycles, and maybe it is a little rude of me, but it's also correct. You just don't wanna admit it."

"The people who are still decent in this universe are few and far, kid. In my entire life, I've only met two people who were truly selfless." One's dead and the other’s… worse. "But, you do realise that if it wasn't me up here, it'd just be someone else? Hell, Dahl and Atlas would still be plowing through planets like they're big balls of paper and slaughtering everyone in their way while going off about fighting for those planets' freedoms and peace."

"Ooh, I love tyrant! Has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Always considered myself more notorious, than anything else." The sharp, almost humorous-sounding edge to his voice gave the impression he was teasing her, "Kid, it's nothin' I haven't heard before. You really think I'm gonna be kicking it anytime soon, anyway? Nah. Nope, not happening! I got way too much to do."

Jack's brows knitted together and slowly raised in a mixture of surprise and confusion. Sure, maybe she didn't care, he'd just never had a person who hated him ask for his side of the story before.

He decided not to express his shock.

"So, I'd been working on Helios since it launched, I was, uh-... A- a programming and engineering specialist for Hyperion for ten, fifteen years, maybe. I was in charge of most of the construction, getting together schematic proposals to give to my bosses, all that kinda shit."

"The first time I met Lilith and Roland was when Dahl decided they wanted to massacre all the workers on Helios and take it over. They… They didn't discriminate. If you worked for Hyperion, they'd gun you down without even batting an eye. They killed so many of the workers up here, I knew them all personally. We- we didn't even have a real military then, for God's sake! They shot workers out of the sky when they were trying to evacuate. That was the level of murderous psychopaths we were trying to deal with. We defended as best as we could, but even the freaking loaders weren't weaponised yet, I had like… Six hours to get them into a position to defend themselves, and you bet your ass I did it. I guess that actually answers your earlier question, too. I used them for a job they weren't made for out of necessity, the damn Lost Legion shot at them when they were running away, too. Assholes."

"I managed to get the vault hunter's I'd hired down to Elpis in a moonshot, think you've met a couple of them. They got to Concordia thanks to-" Shit. He hadn't actually thought about Janey in a while. He'd ask Athena how they were both doing, but she'd probably curb stop his head before he could even say hello. "-uh, this mechanic. They asked Lilith and Roland to help cause, y'know, Dahl had stuck a jamming signal somewhere on that moon and I couldn't work Helios's defences until it was shut off. They knew people on Helios were dying, and they said no."

"They only started to help when their lives were in immediate danger and Dahl got control of the moonshot laser and start firing away at Elpis. I really did trust 'em to help us, y'know? Like they promised they would."

"I guess they kinda did. We managed to get control of the laser again and… They blew it up. They nearly took the whole space station down just because they didn't want Hyperion having it. That stupid laser could've saved Pandora, you know. It could've- The blasts were so concentrated we could've wiped out an entire bandit settlement and their nice neighbours next door would've barely felt the ground tremble. I'd worked so hard on that laser. You have any idea how hard it was to make? How much progress they destroyed when they blew that damn thing up? A lot! A whole, freaking lot and-... Sorry. Off topic. Uh…"

He made a small noise, "Oh, yeah. Anyway, after that it was just a rush trying to get to the vault before anyone else did. Dahl was already there, but after what happened with those two I wouldn't have been surprised if they got to the vault first just so we couldn't."

"But, we did. My vault hunters took care of the- The Empyrean Sentinel, I think they called it. Big bastard, more human than the other vault monsters. Freaky stuff."

"So, the Sentinel was dead, and we finally got to the vault relic. It looked like… Nothing. Very underwhelming. Just a weird little floating vault symbol. I decided to touch it and-..." Jack went quiet for a while, his knuckles growing white with how tightly he was gripping the armrests of his chair, "And I saw… everything."

He felt sick even talking about it. The pit in his stomach growing deeper and he knew if he didn't stop soon he'd fall into a full blown breakdown. So, he took a shaky breath in and continued.

"Wasn't long after that when Lilith made her grand entrance. She destroyed the relic and- blasted the fuck out of my face. You ever had your face branded by some freaky eridian technology? It sucks. Real bad."

He let his head drop back, and he rubbed his eyes, "So, there's my side. Think I can quit my day job and become a professional story teller?" Though he tried to make a joke, the fire in his voice seemed to have dissipated. He just sounded… tired.

[rubisaurus98]

Redistributing the four worlds BF1 Summoner and Canon!Tilith go to in their Lore Doc, plus rearranging some Story Quests. 

AIE 281-283

Bro, 281 is when BF1′s story ends. There’s gonna be world-traveling in between everyone meeting Yurika and people starting to getting married and then Marena’s born in 283. It’s an eventful 2 years.

AIE 284

After happening upon Seltavia during one of her travels, Tilith meets Isaac and Argus. She decides to live there for a bit, learning the sword from Isaac and training with him and his son. She does come back to Elgaia for one week per month to check back in with everyone. Tilith also meets King Morris.

AIE 285

Ren pops in to Seltavia herself before officially returning to work after ending maternity leave, just to see how Tilith’s doing. She meets Isaac and Argus and spars against them before leaving and wins against them. When she says her reasons for not staying longer, Isaac says he understands, and mentions that some old friends of his (Thames and Neris) had their third kid (Jonas) last winter. Tilith introduces her to King Morris.

AIE 286-287

Starting off in Seltavia, Tilith gives Isaac a means to communicate with her and sets off with him to another world, which turns out to be Elmerite’s world. They meet said Sentient Rock Creature there. Caius (former student of Ren, now member of Sky Garden, as well as the OID) comes in a bit later to perform a survey after Tilith had reported in. Elmerite startles him, and piques the archer’s curiosity about this world.  

AIE 288

According to the report Tilith gave, that the heat in Azcastelli is more than Elgaia’s. It can be compared to most of the Fire Areas in Ishgria. Azcaselli is the only one of the four worlds documented by Canon!Tilith and BF1 Summoner that Ren is an active participant in. She initially enters with Eden, but leaves at some point and is replaced with Alexei for that time. Though, Ren does come back after she’s finished her business in Elgaia.

AIE 289

Isaac stays behind to train Maddik while Tilith and Ren return to Elgaia. Isaac receives the Rainbow Orb from Tilith. Alexei and Eden stays a while longer on their own terms to conduct more surveys before departing themselves.

AIE 290-291

Tilith, Elmerite, and Cathleen (former student, now lieutenant to Ren) follow a lead on Elhaza’s Group to the world of Bazamund, Bestie’s original world. Instead of finding outright traces to this mysterious group, they get embroiled in the brewing civil war. Tilith eventually leaves due to her presence being needed in Elgaia for a matter regarding Elhaza’s Group. Cathleen returns to Elgaia after the war with an encyclopedic knowledge on firearms and artillery, plus a pair of pistols for herself.

AIE 292-300 canonically are when Restoc’s massacre happens and then BF1 Summoner and Canon!Tilith chase after him. This is gonna get repurposed into increased activity from Elhaza’s Group, starting with a spike in Arturia that the Tercet/Terzetto squads and Sharon are all sent to investigate. This is also when Nemesis,  the Avatar of Revenge, starts to take more residence in Restoc’s mind. In his early days of fighting for control, Restoc does injure Olivia, but it’s under circumstances where she is unable to truly identify her assailant and instead writes it off as one of Elhaza’s men.

post-Seltavia Arc

In the time of the Seltavia Epilogue, Argus, Lori, and Grant testing Rin and Jonas goes slightly wrong, but it’s not enough for anyone to think much more than “Argus, Lori, and Grant got a little too into the ruses they were trying to pull.” Proceeds as normal canon.

Around this time, the Beils return to their home after a family outing to find it broken into and the scroll that contains the souls of the Five Corrupt Shinobi has been stolen. Before an official R.S.F. report can be filed, Yurika’s already up and heading over to get it back, with the rest of her family following. Story proceeds around the same, with the new additions of Lugina and Hansu. Towards the end, Rin and Jonas drop in via Rainbow Orb.

While checking over Arturia for any remaining traces of Elhaza’s Group, Restoc “snaps” (read: gets overwhelmed by Nemesis) and attacks his companions Olivia and Sharon before they manage to escape back to Elgaia/Restoc flees the scene. Sharon is left badly injured, and Olivia is in a coma. They return just after the Beils return from Ohbanahara with Rin and Jonas in tow. A lengthened version of the Avelhein Chapter kicks off, ending in Avelhein itself with Restoc being freed from Nemesis’ influence shortly before his death at the end.

The Paris SQ afterwards proceeds mostly as in canon, except for the ending. Someone fucks with the Com connections in Bada Fana, rendering Lugina unable to call Yurika. This prompts her to reach out to Ren, who is in Arturia with the rest of the main BF1 Cast. They immediately head over to Bada Fana and find Lugina looking worse for wear against some monsters. Once those waves have been cleared and Lugina is healed and explains himself, the upgraded Gazarva gets suddenly released, which they have to defeat.

And when they do, they receive overwhelming congratulations from a “new” enemy.....

[annie-banks]

Adore You - Harry Styles (2019) // you’re wonder, under summer sky // All About That Bass – Meghan Trainor (2014) // every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top // Alone Again – Betty Who (2014) // when it rains it pours and you drown me out // Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding (2012) // letting darkness grow, as if we need it's palette and we need it's color // Bad Girls - M.I.A. (2012) // leaving boys behind ‘cause it’s illegal just to kill // Bitch Better Have My Money - Rihanna (2015) // your wife in the backseat of my brand new foreign car // Blank Space – Taylor Swift (2014) // darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream // Bloodbuzz Ohio – The National (2010) // I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees // Bo$$ – Fifth Harmony (2014) // boss. Michelle Obama. purse so heavy gettin' Oprah dollas // Boy Problems - Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) // I think I broke up with my boyfriend today and I don't really care // Boys - Charli XCX (2017) // I wish I had a better excuse like I had to trash the hotel lobby // Butterflies - Kacey Musgraves (2018) // I was hiding in doubt till you brought me out of my chrysalis // Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen (2011) // before you came into my life I missed you so bad // Call Your Girlfriend – Robyn (2010) // don't you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed // Canyon Moon - Harry Styles (2019) // doors yellow, broken, blue // Chandelier – Sia (2014) // I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry // Cherry - Harry Styles (2019) // I confess I can tell that you are at your best, I'm selfish so I'm hating it // Circles - Post Malone (2019) // we couldn't turn around, 'til we were upside down // C’mon - Panic! At the Disco and Fun. (2011) // feels like I am falling down a rabbit hole, falling for forever, wonderfully wandering alone // C’Mon – Kesha (2012) // feeling like a saber-tooth tiger sipping on a warm budweiser // Cruise (Remix) - Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly (2012) // she was sippin' on southern and singin' Marshall Tucker, we were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer // Daddy Lessons - Beyonce ft. Dixie Chicks (2017) // it’s your song // Dark Fantasy – Kanye West (2010) // too many Urkels on your team, that's why your wins low // Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco (2016) // the lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live? // Demons- Sleigh Bells (2012) // They're gonna stand em up six by six by six // Diane - Cam (2017) // And all those nights that he's given to me I wish that I could give them back to you // Diane Young – Vampire Weekend (2013) // you torched a Saab like a pile of leaves // Downtown - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Grandmaster Caz, Kool Moe Dee (2016) // neighbors yelling at me like, you need to slow down going thirty-eight, Dan, chill the fuck out, mow your damn lawn and sit the hell down // End of the Day - One Direction (2015)// I told her that I loved her, just not sure if she heard. the roof was pretty windy and she didn't say a word, party died downstairs, had nothing left to do just me, her and the moon // Fireproof – One Direction (2015) // riding on the wind and I won't give up // ***Flawless – Beyonce ft. Nicki Minaj (2013) // mayday, mayday, earth to bitches // Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves (2013) // if you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore. if you don't save yourself for marriage, you're a whore-able person // Formation - Beyonce (2016) // always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper // Forrest Gump – Frank Ocean (2012) // my fingertips and my lips, they burn from the cigarettes // Freaks and Geeks – Childish Gambino (2011) // I have worked all winter, I will not fail summer, in the back of the bush, like Gavin Rossdale's drummer // Gay Pirates - Cosmo Jarvis (2011) // and I hope they didn't tie up your hands as tight as mine. I'll see you on the bed of this blue ocean, babe, sometime // Get Lucky – Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams (2013) // the present has no ribbon, your gift keeps on giving // Glory - Bastille (2016) // and then you put your hand in mine and pulled me back from things divine, stop looking up for heaven, waiting to be buried // Good Grief - Bastille (2016) // caught off guard by your favourite song, I'll be dancing at a funeral, dancing at a funeral // Green Light - Lorde (2017) // I whisper things, the city sings them back to you // Grown - Little Mix (2015) // no regrets, it's a lesson learned 'cause what you think ain't my concern // Hayloft - Nickel Creek (2014) // young lovers with their legs tied up in knots // Holocene – Bon Iver (2011) // and at once I knew I was not magnificent // I Believe - Original Broadway Cast (2011) // and I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri // I Like It - Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin (2018) // I like those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks // I Love It – Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX (2012) // you're from the '70s, but I'm a '90s bitch // Judas – Lady Gaga (2011) // I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel, but I'm still in love with Judas, baby // Juice - Lizzo (2019) // I be drippin' so much sauce got a bitch lookin' like RAGÚ // Just Hold On - Steve Aoki ft. Louis Tomlinson (2016) // feels like you're standing on the edge looking at the stars and wishing you were them // Laura Palmer – Bastille (2013) // what a year and what a night, what terrifying final sights put out your beating heart // Lemonworld – The National (2010) // I gave my heart to the Army, the only sentimental thing I could think of // Love on Top – Beyonce (2011) // I can see the stars all the way from here, can't you see the glow on the window pane // Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe (2018) // it's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender, an emotional, sexual bender // Making the Most of the Night - Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) // baby I'm speeding and red lights, I'll run // Meet Me in the Hallway - Harry Styles (2017) // just let me know I'll be on the floor, on the floor // Menswear – The 1975 (2013) // well, who's this? going for the kiss, I'm probably gonna yosh in your mouth // Mirrors – Justin Timberlake (2013) // if you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find, just know that I'm always parallel on the other side // Monster – Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, and Bon Iver (2010) // you could be the king but watch the queen conquer // The Mother We Share - Chvrches (2012) // I'm in misery but you can't see, as old as your omens // My Church - Maren Morris (2016) // I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling 'til my sins wash away // N****s in Paris - Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011) // Prince William's ain't do it right if you ask me 'cause I was him, I would have married Kate and Ashley // Oh, What a World - Kacey Musgraves (2018) // did I know you once in another life? are we here just once or a billion times? // Old Town Road (Remix) - Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus (2019) // cowboy hat from Gucci, Wrangler on my booty // Otis – Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011) // luxury rap, the Hermes of verses, sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive // Pineapple Girl - Mister Heavenly (2011) // I am besieged by the vagaries of power. I'm all alone and lonely in this tower // Primadonna – Marina and the Diamonds (2012) // I know I've got a big ego, I really don't know why it's such a big deal though // Pumped Up Kicks – Foster the People (2010) // he's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid // Radio - Lana Del Rey (2012) // pick me up and take me like a vitamin 'cause my body's sweet like sugar venom // Raising Hell - Kesha ft. Big Freedia (2019) // hungover, heart of gold, holy mess. doin' my best, bitch, I'm blessed // Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart (2011) // been talking 'bout the way things change // Royals - Lorde (2013) // we don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair // S.O.B. - Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats (2015) // I'm going to cover myself with the ashes of you and nobody's gonna give a damn // Satisfied - Original Broadway Cast (2015) // it's a dream and it's a bit of a dance, a bit of a posture, it's a bit of a stance. He's a bit of a flirt, but I'm 'a give it a chance. I asked about his fam'ly, did you see his answer? his hands started fidgeting, he looked askance? he's penniless, he's flying by the seat of his pants // Sex – The 1975 (2013) // and she said use your hands and my spare time, we've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine // Shake It Out – Florence + the Machine (2011) // our love is pastured such a mournful sound, tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground// Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon (2014) // my discotheque Juliet teenage dream // Silly Love Songs - Darren Criss (2011) // how can I tell you about my loved one // Some Nights - Fun. (2012) // this is not one for the folks at home, I'm sorry to leave, mom, I had to go. who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun? // Someone Like You – Adele (2011) // we were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by the surprise of our glory days // Sorry - Justin Bieber (2015) // *dolphin noises* // Spaceship - Kesha (2017) // I knew from the start I don't belong in these parts. there's too much hate, there's too much hurt for this heart // Stars - Fun. (2012) // some nights I rule the world with bar lights and pretty girls, but most nights I stay straight and think about my mom // Stitches - Shawn Mendes (2015) // needle and the thread gotta get you out of my head // Sunflower, Vol. 6 - Harry Styles (2019) // *gasp* your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody // Super Bass - Nicki Minaj (2010) // and he ill, he real, he might gotta deal. he pop bottles and he got the right kind of build. he cold, he dope, he might sell coke. he always in the air, but he never fly coach // Take Me to Church - Hozier (2013) // I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife // Thank u, Next - Ariana Grande (2018) // she taught me love, she taught me patience, how she handles pain // The Pachanelly Canon - Gentleman’s Rule (2012) // I'm getting pages out of New Jersey, from Courtney B telling me about a party up in NYC. can I make it? damn right I be on the next flight. payin cash. first class. sittin' next to Vanna White // The Wire - Haim (2013) // I just know, I know, I know, I know that you're gonna be okay anyway // Theme From “Cheers” - Titus Andronicus (2010)// I'm sick and tired of everyone in this town being so goddamn uptight, but don't you worry, I'll do all the talking when they turn on the flashing lights // Thieves – She & Him (2010) // I'm not a prophet, old love is in me. new love just seeps right in and makes me guilty // This is America - Childish Gambino (2018) // tell somebody, you go tell somebody. grandma told me, get your money, black man // Trouble - Neon Jungle (2013) // lights up let's have a toke, pour more whiskey in my coke .. Truth Hurts - Lizzo (2017) // you coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal // Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy (2015) // and I slept in last night's clothes and tomorrow’s dreams, but they are not quite what they seem // Wetsuit – The Vaccines (2011) // with a cool, cool breeze and dirty knees, I rest on childhood memories // What a Feeling - One Direction (2015) // when the air ran out and we both started running wild, the sky fell down // Wilson - Fall Out Boy (2018) // I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color // Wolves - One Direction (2015) // I feel the waves getting started, it's a rush inside I can't control // You Need Me, I Don’t Need You - Ed Sheeran (2011) // melody music maker, reading all the papers, they say I'm up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator // You’re in Love With a Psycho - Kasabian (2017) // I'm like the taste of macaroni on a seafood stick

Songs that would have made the list were they on Spotify: We Can’t Stop - Bastille // I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer) - Childish Gambino //  G.O.O.D. Friday - Kanye West ft. Common, Pusha T, Kid Cudi, Big Sean & Charlie Wilson // Driving in Cars with Boys - Lana Del Rey // Blurred Lines - Vampire Weekend // a number of mashups (Office Musik, What Makes You Da One, Live While We Die Young, Brush Your Bittersweet Shoulders Off, We Are Complicated)

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Two

Aliens!  Exposition!  Guns!  Explosions!  Kickass Ladies!  Betrayal!  So much death!

Um, this got long. Sorry not sorry.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

The first thing Mass Effect does after coming out of the introduction is assure us that yes, we have aliens 

and we have hot guys (and hot aliens, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

They should have made an advertisement pointing out these things just for me so I would have paid release price for this game.  Ah well, I’ve bought it on 360, Steam and Origin now.  They have my money.

We’re going to make it most of the way through Eden Prime in this post.

One thing Mass Effect does a lot of in the beginning here is exposition.  There’s a lot to learn about the state of the galaxy in 2148, and there are people there to make sure you learn about it.  Jeff and Kaidan only do a little bit of exposition, you learn about Nihilus, a tiny bit about Spectres, and that Captain Anderson is badass.  I wish this scene actually lasted longer -- this is the only time we see Kaidan away from his Orange Corner (or that other orange wall) on the ship for awhile.  I guess there’s the conference room, but still.  If they ever do a remaster, please Bioware, let the companions move around the ship like in ME3 and give our boy better lighting.

I love the flow of the Normandy SR1.  It feels the easiest to get around in since it’s so much smaller... except when you have to get on the elevator.  I also love the dark theme.  The ME2 SR2 always feels so... blinding.  The only thing I miss from the SR2 really is my decked out Captain’s quarters.  I mean does anyone even ever go into the ME1 quarters except to get the one codex entry until it’s sexytime?

I do like ME1′s use of ambient conversations, you get to learn a little about Pressley and Jenkins before talking to them.  Those conversations, though, are just such exposition dumps.  I think they do it fairly well, but there’s so much to remember.  Both Jenkins (with Chakwas) and Pressley really harp on what and who Spectres are, pretty sure even before you talk to Nihilus you have an inkling you’re gonna eventually be one.  

I honestly wish we had more actual interaction with Pressley than what we get here, he has very little to say after this point.  Another hope for a remaster.

This kid Jenkins, he’s got a good career ahead of him if we can tame his hot-headedness.  That’ll be his role in the game, I’m sure, the kid you mentor and grow into a reflection of you.  Good to know he’s from the planet we’re heading to, I’m sure he’ll be a valuable source of information there.

Having played a lot of World of Warcraft, and I mean a LOT, from the alpha, then release, for the next two or three years, the fact that his name was Jenkins was actually a bit of a hint for me even then.  But more in the “Wouldn’t it be funny if...?” and then he did.  Nice. 

I’m really glad Chakwas gets fleshed out a little more in just the one more conversation after this one and in future games.  Because there’s not much to say about her here.

Whew!  Exposition over, right?  We’ve learned about Spectres, the First Contact War, about Eden Prime, that we’re in the Alliance, that there’s Turians and a council that governs things and... we’re good, right?

Wait, didn’t Anderson say he was already with Nihilus in the conference room?  Where’d he go?  What a bro, to step out and let Nihilus make a big turn-around moment of introduction to us.  Okay, more loredump.  Cool.  Really getting the concept of Spectres now, for sure, especially from this guy, who is one!

Finally, Anderson.  Just in time to tell us about Spectres, and Eden Prime, and now it’s time to learn about the Protheans.  Whaaaaat?  You want ME to maybe be a Spectre?  I’m shocked! 

Oh sorry, Annakie just flew through time from ME3 to stare into the camera incredulously.

I’m sure that this will be a decision that will be deeply impactful through the entirety of the rest of the series.

But here we learn about Protheans, and they lost me a bit on that one when we first played the game.  Who the fuck cares about what happened 20,000 years ago?  THIS IS THE FUTURE!!!  We’re in SPACE!

Well, we wouldn’t get away from the Protheans so easily.

Oh what the FUCK is that thing?  You’ve hooked me right back in.  Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up?  LET’S GO.

You guys... ALOV is so good, and so pretty.  And these screenshots look shittier on tumblr!!  Look how clear these movies are now.  And these are just 720p!   They’re working to upscale them to 4k!  Again I say, all hail the modders.

Still, that giant red spot doesn’t look so good for the people living there...  

I’m sure it’s fine.

We’re all suited up, but sadly the super cool alien isn’t coming with us?  Didn’t he say he was here to follow and observe us?  Well, he knows what he’s doing.

Anyone else already willing to die for Anderson fifteen minutes into this game?

The sky is supposed to be that color red, right? Right Jenkins?

As cool as this level design is, also something that could use improving.  There’s like... no housing here?  Just a bunch of tall towers on the ground all really realy far apart from each other?  You’re on a new planet and everyone lives inside a giant tower?  I mean, good for preventing Urban Spawl I guess.  I’d love to see a more populated Eden Prime.  Even in ME3 we just saw a small dig site and more towers in the distance.  

Anyway, better level up.  Jenkins is young and needs some training if he’s gonna survive this mission!

Here we go, show us what you’ve got!

Shit.

My first time through, I truly thought I’d fucked up and probably reloaded this fight two or three times before accepting he was just... supposed to die.  And then I remembered his name was Jenkins, knew it was intentional, and laughed.  

Honestly, it’s a great fakeout with making us feel like Jenkins is important, and then having him lose the battle right away.  ME1 is pretty brutal that way. It’s a good way to signal that this game is probably going to rip your heart out, so get used to it.  

Shepard and Kaidan have a moment, and I like this because it’s really the first time I think you can really start showing who your Shepard is, with how you react to Jenkins’ death.  Either way, I like it that she tells Kaidan that we need to focus.  I also love that, though we don’t get to see a moment for Jenkins from here on out in ME1, that they finally gave his memory a moment in ME3.

I love Flycam.

What. An. Entrance. For. Ashley. Williams.  

Bioware, give us Ashley and Kaidan living in a Mass Effect Remaster, please.  I will pay $100 for this DLC.  (I know, I KNOW.)  I have only played through with Ashley living all the way through once.  I’m sorry Ash, I love you.  I just... LOVE Kaidan.

But hey that’s HOURS away.   For now, she’s with us, and she’s amazing.

Sorry, I just caught several great images from Ashley’s intro and thought you needed to see them.  It’s gonna be a miracle if tumblr lets this thing post.

This is fine.

Uh, I’m not the only one who still sometimes dies on Eden Prime because I can never remember how the controls work until like, the end of the planet, right?  “CRAP,  WHICH BUTTON IS MEDIGEL?”  “WHY ISN’T THE SQUAD RESPONDING TO GOING WHERE I TELL THEM WITH Q and E?”  “Shit shit shit gotta reload OH FUCK JUST THREW A GRENADE SIX INCHES AWAY.  WHY IS THAT MAPPED TO R?”

Grotesque and yet...  great visuals.  This is when you realize these Geth aren’t playing around.  This is Bad Bad.

Iiiiif you also used to always punch out Miguel and then like awhile later realized how shitty that was and now know that the “Geinuis is the other side of the coin of Madness” speech here is also really shitty... raise your hand.  Especially since Miguel is, you know, right.   Anyway, do better on a remaster, Bioware?

The one good thing here was the “Thank the Maker” at the very beginning of the encounter.  I want Shepard to visit Thedas.  Give us this DLC, Bioware!!

Oh Nihilus, you were too pretty, and trusting, for this world.  

Bioware, again, in the remaster... please go with your original plan and not make Saren all Gethed out this early.  I wish that could be modded away.  It’s so distracting to have him be OBVIOUSLY HALF MACHINE and everyone being like “Saren?  Working with the Geth?  PREPOSTEROUS!!”

Got some AMAZING screenshots of Sovereign taking off thanks to Flycam.

Also, this is just such an OH SHIT moment.  Look at that thing! It’s terrifying!  Also it’s easy to miss if you’re looking the wrong way, this maybe shoulda been in a cutscene. But even so, when you see it, it fills you with SUCH DREAD.  They do such a great job of amping up the tension and drama and mystery bit by bit on Eden Prime.  Giving you bits of the greater story and also feeding you pieces that will eventually come together, but not for awhile.  

I followed Soverign as long as I could before he disappeared.  Got this far away from land.  The actual spaces in the game are huge, but we’ll get to more of that later.

Congrats!   You all survived!  For uh... about two and a half more years?

Can’t believe we can’t loot the Spectre’s body.  

Also... the luckiest dock worker in the world.  I can never yell at him for sleeping on the job.  It’d be hilarious if he showed up alive on Horizon in ME2, and like Haven in ME3.

This is the guy that usually kills me.

OK, this is ridiculously long already.  We’ll finish up Eden Prime and get to the Citadel next time.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

[shameonpretzel]

Sailor Helga

Artwork by Eclips777 (Eden Spring)

"Hey, you!" she yelled. "Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you, bucko!" The ball-monster craned its neck slowly so he could see the young girl. "Who are you?" he growled. "I'm Helga G. Pataki, the toughest girl in this city. You'd better bring those kids back and get out of here pronto…or you'll have to answer to Ol' Betsy!" Helga showed her fist and gave the meanest scowl she could possibly muster, but it only elicited a deep, guttural laugh from the monster. He turned completely around to face Helga, and outstretched his hands so his palms were facing upwards. "Come," he said deeply. "We play ball." A single black ball materialized above each palm. "Oh, crap," said Helga. 

The two balls shot directly out towards Helga. At the last second, she leapt out of the way. Rather than bounce off the walls, the balls exploded, creating a hole in the side of the building. The ball-monster then crossed his arms over his body, then uncrossed them and outstretched them into the air. A long line of black balls appeared overhead, then came crashing down upon Helga, who literally had to sprint across the playground to avoid being hit. "I thought this stupid thing was supposed to protect me!" yelled Helga, the locket still grasped in her hand. She jumped up vertically as another black ball sailed underneath her legs. Suddenly, she remembered: "Oh, wait – there was something that I was supposed to say first…but what? AAH!" Helga leapt away again, narrowly missing a ball that instead struck the bike rack, causing metal and broken tires to fly everywhere. "Was it…Moon Magic? No…Moonie Power…that's not it…Make-up Pyramid? Aargh, I'm never gonna get it right!!" In a fit of anger, Helga chucked the locket across the pavement. Only after it left her hand did she realize her colossal folly. "Arnold!" Helga ran and jumped, sliding on the pavement and catching the locket just before it hit the ground. "Phew, that was close…" she said, sighing in relief. But now she was vulnerable, and the monster took the opportunity to fire a ball directly at her. Knowing that she couldn't escape in time, Helga could only close her eyes shield herself from the impending attack. But the attack never came. Rather, the ball that was supposed to strike her had instead sailed up and exploded harmlessly in the air. Relieved, but at the same time confused, Helga opened her eyes to see what caused the amazing stroke of luck. A blonde boy in a tuxedo suit, top hat, and cape was standing in front of her. He turned to look at her. "Are you alright?" he asked. She couldn't see his face quite clearly, as he was wearing a half-mask, but his unique, football-shaped head looked strikingly familiar… "Arnold…?" said Helga in utter disbelief. The masked boy lifted Helga off the ground and into his arms; she was too awe-struck to make a sound. He then leapt high into the air, so high in fact that he landed on the roof of the school building. "You'll be safe here," he said, setting her down. "Let me handle the beast." Helga, still stunned, could only nod slowly as he went back to the ground below to confront the ball-monster. He pulled out a black cane that she hadn't before noticed, and straightened in a fencing-like pose as he pointed it at the creature. "You want to play? Fine. Then play with me." The ball monster growled in acceptance of the challenge as it held its arms out straight in front of itself, its palms now facing the boy. Several black balls appeared behind the monster, shooting out in a barrage. Unflinching, the boy took his cane and, with both hands, began to twirl it rapidly, like a propeller blade. As before, the balls were deflected in various directions before exploding without causing any damage. "Come on," said the boy tauntingly. "Is that all you got?" Angry, the monster roared and sent another barrage of balls at his opponent. This time, the boy had dropped the cane on the ground and pulled a dozen red roses from his coat pocket; he then threw them at the barrage. As they pierced each ball, they turned from black to red again, and then change directions so that instead they hit the monster dead-on. As the monster staggered back and forth, trying to regain its footing, the masked assailant had picked up his cane again and had lunged forward. From the rooftop, Helga watched the monster hobble to and fro, unable to retaliate from the boy's relentless attack. Suddenly, she came to her senses. "I've got to help him!" she cried. "But what was that phrase. It was moon-something. Moon…moon…." "It's 'Moon Prism Power, Make-up'!" yelled the boy, between jabs. Eventually, he struck the monster into submission and it fell backwards onto the ground. "Say it, now!" "Right," Helga stood up straight and, with locket in both hands, outstretched her arms toward the sky and yelled the phrase. "MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE-UP!" An enormous white light emanated brightly from the locket, washing over her entire body so that she could no longer be seen. Almost instinctively, Helga grabbed a nearby Frisbee that had accidentally flown onto the roof several weeks ago and jumped off the building. Rather than simply fall straight down, she floated until her feet gracefully touched the ground. Struggling, the monster finally got to its feet. "Hey, ball-boy!" came an ethereal voice from the body of light. "Play-time is over." When thrown, the Frisbee had become a glowing disc of light. It flew true to its target, slicing directly through the monster's abdomen, causing it to give one final howl before dissipating into shadow, and then, nothing. The glowing disc then made a U-turn and flew higher into the air where it stopped at certain height before spinning rapidly and showered the entire playground with sparkling light. The hole in the wall of the school and the bikes on the bike rack were mended in an instant. The chalk drawings which covered the pavement had disappeared, and the children slowly re-appeared in unconscious heaps on the ground. The balls, which had caused so much carnage and mayhem, simply faded away. Finally, the disc glided back to the ground, becoming nothing more than an ordinary Frisbee, blue and plastic. "Wow," was all Helga could say. "There's something you DEFINITELY don't see every day". Her eyes fell upon a red rose lying on the ground. As she bent down to pick it up, she noticed for the first time the changes that had happened to her. She was wearing boots, knee-high pink boots! Her elbow-length gloves were white, as was the bodysuit she had on, which was generously decorated with two large, pink bows, one in the back (which was fastened to a short, frilly blue skirt), and one in the front; attached to the latter was her locket, which was still heart-shaped, but now had an ornamented pink cover which held the emblem of the crescent-moon instead of Arnold's visage. Helga turned and went to the window to get a better look at herself. In the reflection, she could see that she was also wearing a small pink band with a single crescent moon around her neck, a blue and white sailor collar, and a gold tiara with a gem on the middle of her forehead. Upon closer inspection, Helga could see that her blonde-hair pigtails had grown to double their original length so that they were down to her waist. On the inside, she felt stronger, like a soldier; on the outside, however, she felt completely different. She felt…pretty. "I don't believe it…" she said, touching the reflection with her hand. "Is that me?" "You did it." Helga turned just in time to see the masked boy exit the playground at the gate. "You saved your friends, and delivered the school from utter destruction." He turned and smiled, giving her a thumbs-up. "Good work…Sailor Moon." She watched as the boy started to run, then leapt up high, to the top of a nearby building, and then out of sight. As her fellow classmates were coming to, Helga stood and looked on, in awe over what had transpired. --- Helga finished her math test early that afternoon (the extra studying had apparently paid off). As the other students in her class were still solving problems in their heads, she wrote about her own personal dilemmas inside the little pink book that she kept hidden in her desk. Well, it's been quite a week. One minute I'm flunking long division, and the next I become some sort of evil-thwarting super-heroine. Talk about your ups and downs. Boy, that monster was tough, but I think I showed him who's boss. The strangest thing about this whole incident, though, is that it only happened an hour ago, yet no one seems to remember, not even Arnold. Helga looked up and saw that, two desks in front of her, Arnold was still working on his test; from the time they had come back to class, he had given no indication that anything out of the ordinary had occurred at all. Could it be that I'm wrong? Maybe it wasn't him that saved me….wait, what am I saying? Of course it was him, who else could it be? Then why is he pretending like nothing happened? Does he know something that I don't? Perhaps…perhaps even he's not aware of what happened? But that doesn't make sense. Helga looked up again, and this time, spotted Luna outside, perched upon the windowsill. She smiled and nodded at the black cat, who fully understood the meaning, and left. Whatever the reason, it's too late to turn back now. I've got to get to the bottom of this mystery, and if using these new-found powers of mine helps me to figure it out, then so be it. Who knows? Maybe Arnold and I will finally become closer in the process. Only time will tell. Helga 

[roisnoir]

Gah. Gonna whine into a text box for a few. Gotta get this out of my skull because it's starting to head into a spin cycle.

--

Saw a pic with a maga hat that says "god guns trump" and my brain lit up with a thousand muppets singing "One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others" and I am both tickled by the absurdity of brain muppets and sad/heartsick/pissed about how shitty xtian fanon has gotten and wonder if anyone actually remembers the original text?*

--

Had one whole kid last night. The screaming toddler from the main house on our lot. His dad is trying very hard, his mom isn't terribly fond of me for some reason (No Idea Whatsoever. She basically just doesn't speak to me other than single syllable answers to direct questions. Maybe.)

--

Finally got my living ship in No Man's Sky. Right before I figured out how to use the portals, I got the cutest little marble of a ship so I will probably never actually take my living ship anywhere again. (It's pokeyslow in atmo, whereas my marble is a zippy little thing that can fit almost anywhere. I like the teeny ships.)

Of course, now I've achieved that, once I get to the center of Euclid, I'll probably quit playing. Sure, there's other galaxies/universes/whatevers, but it'll just me more of the same, I suspect.

I want some sort of overgame - NMS, but one of the planets is the planet from Subnautica, you can find Earth and/or Eden Prime and rummage around in the Mass Effect universe**, and any number of other games. Give me a reason to stay on a planet for more than the five minutes it takes to scan some stuff, pop a knowledge stone or two, and move on to the next one, which is basically the same.

Meh. It's a silly idea. Better many games than one giant one.

--

Unfortunately sober again. I'm only three days in, so I'll get past the grumpies in a few more days. I'm thinking of this as a tolerance break, because I was killing carts in three days that usually take me a week, so I really DO need it. This is the most annoying phase - headaches and irritable and wanting something i can't define but it's sure as shit not my knitting or anything on streaming or any of the books in my backlog or ….. yeah.

By the time I start dreaming again, it'll be fine. (Except for the actual dreaming part - not looking forward to that, but maybe I won't get the really bad ones immediately?)

The knitting, well, I'm doing another pair of socks, and socks are boring as shit, but they're easy, and I have the yarn for them.

I need to start writing up my patterns for the site I will eventually put up. Not that grumpy is the best tone to take, of course.***

--

The craft room is stalled; I can't get my desk in there until I find homes for the things living on it (my jewelry, my box of precious treasures (trash to anyone else, but meaningful to me), photos, yadda yadda. Stuff that doesn't belong in my craft space. And the arm of my comfy chair was peed on at some point (it predates Bitey Asshole Cat, so it was one of my girls. Yay. I need to find the cat pee stuff and hope it will help after all this time) and I don't want a chair that stinks of cat piss in my nice crafting space.

(Also needs pillows because it's not currently comfy.)

I need upholstery foam to refill the couch cushions anyway; comfy will just have to be my toile, I guess.

-----

*Which wasn't all that great to start with, but it's 2000 years old, and there've been a few advances since then. I'd say it needs to be updated, but that's been tried and it just leads to more confusion. I vote scrap it and start over with a better, more inclusive text.

Yes, I know that REAL Christians do still exist, they're just drowned out by the screaming shitheads.

Though that seems to be the historical trajectory of most religions - someone has a nice idea, it goes viral, then the power hungry fuckheads get their hands on it and misuse the power the nice idea generated to shit all over the nice idea and convince a significant number of loud assholes that the inverse of the nice idea is how it was always meant to be and that they need to bring everyone else in line with whatever force they feel like using.

** but not Dragon Age, because I headcanon that DA is the far far future of the ME universe - magic is biotics + evolution and tens of thousands of years

*** Actually, that might be a funny gimmick. "Work a fucking swatch so you know what size to make, it's not gonna kill you, dumbass. Think of it as practice with the lace so it doesn't look shitty once you get going."

[flyonmylovee]

Chosen Children // Adventure Song List

Taichi

Take It All Back 2.0 by Judah and the Lion

Hey, my life is real great, feel I'm well on my way to my dreams coming true and I'm getting to do it with you

Don’t Look Back in Anger by Oasis

So I start a revolution from my bed 'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head. Step outside, summertime's in bloom Stand up beside the fireplace Take that look from off your face You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

The Background by Third Eye Blind

And the plans I make still have you in them, Cause you come swimming into view, And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do, The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you

When You Were Young by The Killers

We're burning down the highway skyline On the back of a hurricane that started turning When you were young

All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem

I wouldn't trade one stupid decision For another five years of life

Stamp of Origin: Take a Look Around by Dredg

A piercing sound so loud, takes over the crowd Watch them run away Objects in the sky, blacken all the light Total disarray What a show What a show

Hysteria by Muse

It's bugging me, grating me And twisting me around Yeah I'm endlessly caving in And turning inside out 

Yamato

All These Things That I Have Done by The Killers

Another head aches, another heart breaks I am so much older than I can take And my affection, well it comes and goes I need direction to perfection, no no no no, help me out

Lay Low by Shovels & Rope

Well I probably should be drug out to sea Where I can't hurt no one and no one can hurt me At least I'd be free, and probably I'd see What caused me to be so detached completely

Love Bite by Kato Kazuki

In Transit by Albert Hammond Jr

Free from it all I'm not gonna change till I want to

Do I Wanna Know? by The Arctic Monkeys

Have you no idea that you're in deep? I dreamt about you nearly every night this week How many secrets can you keep? 'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow When I play it on repeat

Reptilia by The Strokes

Yeah, the night's not over You're not trying hard enough, Our lives are changing lanes You ran me off the road

Sora

Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men

Jumping up and down the floor, My head is an animal.

The Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height By someone who should know better than that

From Eden by Hozier

Babe, there's something broken about this But I might be hoping about this Oh, what a sin

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth. Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs. Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you. You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Love Will Save Your Soul by Grouplove

Love will save your soul I'm feeling so alone and growing old Love will make no sense But lose control Lost my train of thought and now control

Maps by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Wait, they don’t love you like I love you

Edge of Town by Middle Kids

I got all muddled up and journeyed to the edge of town And then the road cracked open, sucked me in and I went down We're standing face to face with the king of the underground Some things just don't add up, I'm upside down I'm inside out

Koushiro

Broken Horse by Freelance Whales

But, oh god, that look in your eye; trouble that does not search words. It sprung from the biblical vine and awaiting to return to the dirt

Stay Home by American Football

Don't leave home again If empathy takes energy Cause everyone feels just like you

A New Error by Moderat

The Wall by Yuck

And I know that I'm in space And I know that it's not real It's just the way that I feel

Instant Crush by Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas

It didn't matter what they wanted to see He thought he saw someone that looked just like me The summer memory that just never dies We worked too long and hard to give it no time

Losing Touch by Albert Hammond Jr

What you call wisdom, I call pain Stepped out of line, I missed my train In time you'll say, I'm just losing touch

Mimi

Love is Mystical by Cold War Kids

Love is mystical, love will break the chains! You might feel invincible and you might be afraid Light in darkness will show you the way Give you the power to believe again 

Suzy by Caravan Palace

Suzy, flashes the dance floor and sings, And she's expecting more swinging dreams.

Anna Sun by Walk The Moon

Screen falling off the door door hanging off the hinges My feet are still sore, my back is on the fringes We tore up the walls we slept on couches We lifted this house we lifted this house

Baby Come Home by Scissor Sisters

But I’m too cool to lose my control You’re too cool to call Maybe I just don’t want to know You’re out there having it all

Sight of the Sun by Fun.

Do you remember when we stayed up till the sun stretched through the room? I used to blame it on the queens walking down 7th Avenue It's been years now since we moved I've gotten through with an excuse You know I try not to speak superlatives But it's impossible to you

Wannabe by The Spice Girls

Now don't go wasting my precious time Get your act together we could be just fine

You Don’t Own Me by Grace

Don't tell me what to do And don't tell me what to say

Jou

Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons

Love, it will not betray you Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free Be more like the man you were made to be

Need You By My Side by The Sun Parade

I feel it collapsing inside me, my life while i struggle inside. Could you please be my constant? Cause i have fifty thoughts at a time

Cough Syrup by Young The Giant

Life's too short to even care at all, oh, oh I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control If I could find a way to see this straight I'd run away To some fortune that I, I should have found by now So I run now to the things they said could restore me Restore life the way it should be

Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one It'd be to my brother, 'cause we have the same nose Same clothes homegrown a stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when nothing really mattered Out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter

On Your Porch by The Format

What's left to lose? You've done enough. And if you fail, well, then you fail, but not to us.

Takeru

Spirits by The Strumbellas 

And I don't want a never ending life I just want to be alive while I'm here

Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

You sigh, look away I can see it clear as day Close your eyes, so afraid Hide behind that baby face

The Cave by Mumford & Sons

I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke On the noose around your neck And I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again

Generator ^ First Floor by Freelance Whales

We keep on churning and the lights inside the house turn on And in our native language we are chanting ancient songs And when we quiet down, the house chants on without us

House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots

I will make you queen of everything you see I’ll put you on the map I’ll cure you of disease

Youth by Glass Animals

Fly high Feel your mother at your side Don't you know you got my eyes I'll make you fly high You'll be happy all the time I know you can make it right

Boy With a Coin by Iron & Wine

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans Then making a wish he tossed in the sea Walked to a town that all of us burn When God left the ground to circle the world

Hikari

Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat 'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Jesus Christ by Brand New

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die, I'm a little bit scared of what comes after Do I get the gold chariot? Do I float through the ceiling? Do I divide and pull apart? 'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

Baby, Come On by +44

Isn't there something familiar about me? The past is only the future with the lights on

White Blank Page by Mumford & Songs

But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart

I Can Feel Your Pain by Manchester Orchestra

And hallelujah to the one in our bones And hallelujah to the one that we love

Boats & Birds by Gregory and the Hawk

If you'll be my star, I’ll be your sky You can hide underneath me and come out at night When I turn jet black, and you show off your light I live to let you shine