#originally this was gonna be gen but sometimes when you just wanna WRITE you gotta indulge the id

[notbang]

that cat’s something i can’t explain

read on ao3

1.

“Rebecca,” Nathaniel says in surprise when he spots his girlfriend weaving through the Mountaintop lobby, flour-dusted apron and all, making a very determined beeline in his general direction. “What’s going on?”

As soon as he says the words, he expects her haughtiness—an affronted why can’t a humble pretzel maker visit her lawyer lover on the top floor, perhaps, or something equally colourful. The closer she gets, though, he can see she’s vibrating with something other than deliberately cloying indignation.

“What’s going on,” she says emphatically, dropping her phone on the front desk with enough force that its momentum slides it towards him, “is that if I had to be subjected to this monstrosity, then so you do you.”

He stops the phone before it can ricochet off the edge of the counter, eyebrows raised as he unlocks the screen.

“Now that we know a love of the theatrical arts is something which we both share—”

“Wouldn’t say ‘love’,” Nathaniel interjects.

“—we can have these very important cultural discussions together.”

He makes it approximately twenty seconds into the video before he turns it off.

This isn’t the first time he’s found himself completely miffed by one of Rebecca’s outbursts, but even in his bemusement it’d be disingenuous of him to paint it as one of her qualities he considers skewed towards the negative. There’s always been something so captivating in the way her feelings tend to command the entirety of her tiny frame, expressing endlessly outwards, always making her seem so much more than what she is.

Still, he’s at a loss for what to offer her in return for her obvious discontent, and he settles for stating the obvious, well aware she’ll hand him precisely the response she was looking for soon enough.

“Don’t see it?” he offers, tone tentative and polite.

Predictably, she scoffs at him, jabbing two accusing pointer fingers in his direction. “Ha. Don’t see it. I wasn’t planning on it, was I? But then they had to go and make it terrible, which is how they reel you in! And not just plain old terrible, either—it’s, like, the uncanny valley, haunt-your-dreams kind of terrible that cancels out how terrible the source material already is, because that’s how negative integers work, for some reason, and now it’s like this… furry train wreck I can’t look away from,” she finishes, gesticulating wildly and scrunching up her hands into frustrated little cat claws.

“Did Nathaniel finally admit he’s a furry?” Maya whispers with conspiratorial glee, popping up unannounced on Rebecca’s immediate left.

“Ugh, Maya, go away,” she groans.

“You don’t work here anymore—you can’t just boss people around,” Nathaniel says, before straightening his shoulders and adding pointedly, “Maya, go away. Please.”

Rebecca raises her eyebrows as the office assistant pushes her glasses up her nose, pouts and scampers away. She leans across the desk to give him a blatant up-and-down. “Wow, look at you—dolling out pleases like you’re Oprah or something. So cordial, yet commanding. It’s kind of sexy, in a Miss Manners kind of way.”

“Don’t you have a storefront you should be manning?”

“I’d be able to hear the fire alarm from here,” she defends, then pushes up on her tip-toes to plant a kiss on his right cheek. Nathaniel pauses in his photocopying, ears pinking, then reciprocates with a brief press of his open palm to the small of her back.

He clears his throat. “I’ll see you at lunch,” he calls after her, but he’s certain she doesn’t hear him, already having summoned Maya back, strangely intent on correcting her opinions on something involving, if he’s heard correctly, Taylor Swift.

2.

When he makes his way down the hall back to her bedroom, still towelling his hair, there’s a message notification waiting on his phone from Rebecca.

“What is this?” he asks, waving his screen at her.

She doesn’t even glance up from the novel she’s reading, a stray lock of her hair looping around her finger in an absent spiral. He watches the movement for a moment, transfixed, until she disengages the curl to flick the page over and finally responds. “It’s Hermione after she messes up her Polyjuice potion in Chamber of Secrets. Obviously.”

“Okay.” Then, after a beat, “Why am I looking at it?”

“Because Paula doesn’t understand musicals or Harry Potter or memes, so it had to go to you by default.”

“Do you understand memes?”

“Plus,” she says, ignoring him, “you’re, like, romantically obligated to find every message I send you entertaining.”

He plugs his phone into charge before joining her on the bed, shuffling as high up on the pillows as he can manage to keep his toes from skimming the end of the mattress when he stretches out. It’s not entirely successful, but if he bends at the knees a little and curls on his side, he knows from past experience he can make it work.

“Am I, just. Even the ones composed entirely of emojis?”

She grins. “Especially the ones composed entirely of emojis.”

Rebecca ditches her paperback in favour of wriggling into his warmth, murmuring her contentment when he slips an arm around her waist to draw her close and drop a chaste kiss onto the crown of her head. Her hair’s still damp and smells vaguely floral, like her shampoo, and he lets his lips linger there, breathing her in.

His phone vibrates twice on the nightstand.

When pulls back to peer down his nose at her, she’s not-so-subtle in her attempt to conceal what she’s cradling innocently between their chests. He sighs, feigning exasperation. “You just sent me a cat emoji, didn’t you?”

“I absolutely did not,” she says solemnly, then, dissolving into laughter under his scrutiny, confesses, “It was more like five. And I think maybe a llama by mistake?”

3.

“It’s like they didn’t even try,” Rebecca announces loudly in the vicinity of Nathaniel’s ear, rudely jerking him back from the precipice of sleep.

“Oh good,” he sighs, blinking his eyebrows higher up his forehead in the darkness. “This again.”

He grunts out his disapproval as the bedside lamp clicks back on, casting half the apartment in dramatic shadow as it burns his retinas with its unexpected blinding light.

“And I’m just saying,” Rebecca continues, oblivious or in the very least unconcerned with his state of obvious discomfort, apparently immune to any such adjustment period of her own, “did anyone consult TS Eliot before reinventing his heartfelt poetry as a vaginal yeast infection in musical form?”

Nathaniel’s nose wrinkles to match the pre-existing scrunch of his face. “What?”

“Never mind, it was a whole a thing. My point is, no film is an island unto itself. People signed off on this. Multiple people looked at those designs and said, you know what’s gonna add a layer of appeal to a musical that already has no plot? Stripping it of its one redeeming feature—AKA the crazy 80s hair—and replacing it with horrifying, humanoid heads that somehow manage to look furry and bald at the same time.”

Even if Nathaniel felt remotely qualified to comment on the topic—which, for the record, oddly flattered though he is at Rebecca’s pervasive belief that he might be, he decidedly is not—it’s late, it’s a weeknight, and he really just wants to sleep.

“If you hate it so much, rewrite it,” he says before pointedly rolling away from her with a yawn and yanking the covers up over his shoulders.

She follows him, flicking him hard in the back of the neck where his nape’s still exposed above the blanket. “Not cute, dude. You don’t get points for that one anymore. And you can’t ‘rewrite’ CGI. Even if you could, a thousand rewrites isn’t gonna change the eyesore that I—nay, humankind—have been subjected to.”

Nathaniel buries his face in the pillow and groans something that resembles her name before it gets jumbled in its muffled pass through the cotton.

“Rebecca,” he says once he’s resurfaced, trying again, tone still undeniably clipped as he scrubs a palm across his face. “I have a deposition first thing tomorrow. Do we really need to have this conversation now?”

She wilts visibly, chagrined, eyes flicking to the clock at his bedside that may as well have ABSURDLY LATE splashed across its interface in red LEDs. “Sorry,” she says meekly, officially rebuked, sinking back into the sheets and switching off the lamp.

The room is blissfully silent save for the collective electronic hum of his appliances, but despite the stillness, Nathaniel finds himself unable to drift back off. Without opening his eyes he pats around beside him until his fingers connect with the phone he’d known with every fibre of his being she was still holding, confiscating and discarding on his nightstand, out of reach.

“Go to sleep,” he admonishes.

“I was just—”

“Sleep,” he repeats, voice gruff with exhaustion, enfolding her firmly in his arms as a preventative measure, practically able to hear her calculating the device’s retrieval in the dark.

4.

“What are we dealing with, here? Minor song lyric alteration? Beloved song exclusion? Reinforced misogyny? Racially insensitive miscast?”

Nathaniel startles at the sound of the door opening, Paula spilling into Rebecca’s house like she lives there and depositing her bags in the entryway with a dramatic thud.

Rebecca, by comparison, is unperturbed by the intrusion, swivelling on a breakfast stool to look at her friend and shake her head. “We’re not talking misdemeanours here, Paula. We’re talking big league. Like, DEFCON-5.”

“Oh,” Paula says. She clucks in feigned sympathy and shoots a knowing glance in Nathaniel’s direction. “This is about the singing cats, huh.”

Even focused as he is on rinsing out her blender, he doesn’t miss the way Rebecca shrinks guiltily away from him in his periphery.

“Did you call an early morning emergency meeting of your girl mob to discuss a movie trailer you didn’t like?” he asks, careful to keep his tone light.

“It’s gurl group, but you know that, and no—Valencia is in town for her sister’s birthday and Heather’s working at this Home Base today and Paula’s new job means she has to like, actually do work now, so breakfast is the only time all of us were free.”

As if on cue, Heather and Valencia sidle through the open doorway.

“Oh, he’s here?” Heather drawls with an exaggerated grimace when she spots Nathaniel. “Looks like you’ve already found someone to rant about your dumb movie to, so I’m gonna just—”

Her attempt to pivot on the spot and leave is thwarted by the arm Valencia loops through her own, catching her before she can re-cross the threshold.

Nathaniel wastes no time in whipping his head around to aim an aha look in Rebecca’s direction, and she’s just as quick to defend, “Yeah, okay, so it’s on the agenda. Amongst other things.”

“Is that so. Like what?”

“Like… topics I don’t know about yet because nobody ever responds to my requests to send me their items for the agenda.”

“God, no more agendas,” Paula grouches, reaching for a mug from the overhead cabinet. “Or meetings. My entire life is meetings and agendas and scheduling conflicts. Can’t we just have a good old fashioned rendezvous? I feel like nobody ever rendezvouses anymore.”

“Ooh, or how about a tryst,” Rebecca suggests, waggling her eyebrows.

“Girl, you know I love you,” Valencia says, “but I’m not trysting with you. I have a fiancée.”

Heather hums, drumming her fingers against the countertop as she hoists herself up onto a stool. “So full disclosure, Hector and I saw the Cats revival with his mom last year, and I liked it. I think the lack of plot worked in Hector’s favour.”

“There’s no accounting for taste,” Rebecca says, wistful.

“You liked The Lion King,” Nathaniel feels obligated to point out. “That’s technically about digitally rendered singing cats.”

“I tolerated The Lion King because of my deep fondness of the original and because I knew I could bully you into seeing it with me because of its zoological themes,” she corrects. “Anyway, that remake’s issue was that it had no soul. This remake’s issue is that it’s, like, demonically possessed, or something. Which, to be fair, cats, as a species, generally are.”

“Rebecca,” Valencia begins, voice all saccharine and scathing, “need I remind you of one of the many occasions you broke up with this one—” She jabs a thumb in Nathaniel’s face, making him frown. “—with the intention of adopting an entire shelter’s worth of felines?”

“That was a different time,” Rebecca dismisses. “I was punishing a version of myself I wasn’t proud of by resigning her to the fate I believed she deserved.”

Nathaniel tilts his head, bemused. “Huh?”

“Oh, she wanted to be a crazy cat lady,” Heather translates, enunciating loudly, “because she couldn’t bone you in the stationery closet without feeling bummed about it anymore. Just, like. While we’re on the subject of trysts.”

“Heath-er,” Rebecca hisses, kicking her ex-housemate in the shin.

Parsing their less than stellar communal romantic track record with a group of women all too happy to gang up on him afforded the slightest opportunity isn’t high on Nathaniel’s to-do list for the morning, and a flick of his wrist to check his smart watch is all the excuse he needs to make a timely escape.

“On that note,” Nathaniel says, snatching his car keys off the counter, “I’m going to leave you ladies be.”

The conversation barely dips as he sees himself out.

5.

“So in between your being typecast as our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, you didn’t happen to don, say, a unitard and leg warmers, did you?”

“What?”

He knows he should be used to this by now—this tendency towards unexpected tack-changing that he’d liken to a dog with a bone, if the cliche didn’t feel somewhat inapt, considering. It’s not like he’s unaccustomed, after all this this time, to Rebecca’s one track mind. It’s just that up until this point, most of the tracks she’s been fixated on treading have usually, admittedly, served his own interests as easily as her own.

“Just checking, because for the record, it’s kind of a massive deal breaker for me.”

She flops into his side, not entirely-unpleasantly sticky, or in the very least, skin virtually indistinguishable from the slick of his own. Rebecca’s ability to pick up intelligible conversation immediately post-coitus is a talent he does not share, and as the golden fog of afterglow suffuses through his bloodstream he takes his time meandering back towards the realm where articulation is possible, content in the knowledge his bedmate will happily barrel on without him until he catches up.

“Just kidding,” she seems to feel the need to clarify, even in the absence of any protest on his behalf. “The knowledge that you were a theatre kid is such an aphrodisiac to me that it well and truly trumps any potential feline faux pas.”

“Wasn’t a theatre kid,” he corrects, the response so automatic he’s not sure it counts as cognitive function.

“Agree to disagree,” Rebecca says, earning herself an exasperated sigh.

Once the drumbeat of his pulse has slowed in his ears, he cracks an eyelid, suspicious of the lack of movement and sudden cease in chatter from the woman sprawled out across his upper torso. Rebecca’s gazing up at him as if she’s been patiently awaiting his full attention, chin resting on her stacked hands, a lazy, satisfied smile stretched across her features.

“You know, for someone who claims to hate Cats,” Nathaniel tells her with amusement after stretching to peck her on the mouth, “you kind of talk about Cats a lot. Some might even describe you as off-puttingly passionate on the subject. Not me,” he backtracks at her incredulous glare, tucking her hair behind her ear with affection. “I find your aggressive diatribe charming.”

Suitably placated, she drops her head back down against his shoulder. “They do say there’s a fine line between love and hate.”

He skates his hand down the bare expanse of her back, letting it settle in the dip between her hips. She undulates with the caress, thighs parting and sliding to bracket one of his. If she’s gunning for a second round he’s still got his refractory period to contend with, but there’s always other ways to keep her occupied, his loose-limbed lack of focus notwithstanding.

She doesn’t push it any further, though, apparently content for now in her own come-down, and he’s just about to give in to the pull towards sleep when it occurs to him what he’s neglected to ask.

“Did you?”

Rebecca’s even breaths, which up until now have been fanning rhythmically across the damp of his throat, catch and falter enough that he takes note of their telling absence.

“Hmm? Did I what?” she deflects, and his eyes narrow at the way she doubles down on the suggestive patterns she seems intent on tracing across his pectorals.

Determined not to be swayed, he shifts beneath her, laughter rumbling through him and muscle mass quaking like tectonic plates beneath the surface of his skin. “Oh, you so did,” he grins, pleased to have been on the money with his flicker of suspicion, eager to bask, as always, in any correct insight he’s managed to garner into his girlfriend’s endlessly multi-faceted brain. “This whole time there’s been incriminating photos of you somewhere wearing tacky fake-fur and an unseemly wig. There’s no hiding your shameful history, now—the cat is out of the bag.”

Rebecca smacks him on the chest, unimpressed, and he can see every telltale corner of her mouth at which the scowl fails to conceal the twitches of her laughter. “So what if my vendetta is somewhat rooted in past trauma? It doesn’t change basic fact, which is that the mere existence of Cats—animal, musical or movie—is a plague against mankind. And for what it’s worth, I didn’t need the wig—my early adolescent frizz was unseemly enough all on its own.”

Where late-night exhaustion-fuelled irritation existed only a few evenings prior, Nathaniel finds himself suddenly capable of only overwhelming fondness. “I think you would have made a very fearsome cat,” he tells her seriously. “All feisty, and nimble.”

He takes two locks of her hair, twisting them up into faux-ears on the top of her head until she bats his hands away, failing miserably at stifling her giggles.

“Stop that. You’re one adjective away from me adding myself back into the Mountaintop text chain just so I can make Maya’s week.”

“Uh-huh. Because I’m the one between us whose levels of preoccupation are concerning.”

He rolls her beneath him, nuzzling his nose against hers in an exaggerated way he can tell irritates her to no end given the context, but muscle memory wins out and she melts into it, the frown lines easing from her forehead as she moulds her mouth against his.

It’s only a matter of time before she’s pressing insistently against him, appetite predictably reawakened, and every sordid pun he could torture her with right now tingles at the ready on the tip of his tongue. But then she sighs into him with a kind of giddiness that sends his mind shattering into static, and as he nips and noses his way down past her belly every teasing thought disintegrates into the ether as he touches her until she’s arching, unraveling, drawing out his name in what can only be described as a delighted purr.

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[bethhxrmon]

All the odd ones 😘

Oooof of course you would do this. Soooo it’s super long so I’m probably gonna put a read more thingy so it’s not obnoxious.

1.What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Annie’s actual name is Annika, but Annie’s super short and so is Ann which is sometimes used. Although, once he finally meets her, Tony Stark calls her Pikachu because of her powers and his need to make pop culture references.

3. How tall is your OC?

Since Annie’s faceclaim is Auli’i Cravalho and she’s 5′3, that makes Annie 5′3. Kind of short, but not as short as me so she’s a lucky gal.

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

When there isn’t rehearsal to be done, Annie wears lots of hoodies, sweatshirts, and the occasional cardigan with a t-shirt under it and some jeans with either her brown or black combat boots. When she is rehearsing, just swap out the jeans with her assortment of leggings because she likes the stretchiness. Hence why the original White Swan costume involves silver leggings (silver because Harper’s extra and likes the theme). But for formal events, Annie goes with her favorite black and white polka-dot dress that cuts off just above the knee with flats. She also has a floor-length dark blue dress with silver flowers sewn in, but that was for a dance she never got the chance to go to.

7. Does your OC have any markings, such as a birthmark or a scar?

Considering she’s a superhero and has a death wish??? Annie has scars all over the place. Though they’re mainly on her legs from bumping into buildings wrong. Also, she has a deep scar on her thigh from a certain part in I wanna say chapter 12 but who knows, I sure don’t!

9. What does your OC’s bedroom look like?  His/her living area?

Since Annie is a superhero trying to hide from her parents, her bedroom is her living space. She has a full-sized bed against one wall, all of them are a light blue color. Right next to the left side of the bed, which has a fuckton of blankets and a couple stuffed animals, is a large desk with her desktop computer and a spinny chair. Right next to that is her window (it’s plot convenience, but ya know what? fight me how else can she get out undetected???). She has a built in closet and it has all her hoodies and cardigans and also her Heather Macnamara costume from her freshman year’s Halloween party.

11. What is your OC’s relationship with his/her mother?

Annie absolutely loves her mom. She’s always wanted Annie to do what was best for her. Whether it’s dancing or acting or writing, her mom’s the supportive one without a doubt. And while Annie knows she makes her share of mistakes, she’s able to let it slide because at the end of the day, Annie’s not dumb. She knows whether or not what someone did was selfish or not. And more often than not, her mom doesn’t have selfish intents.

13. How many siblings does your OC and what is his/her relationship with them?

Annie has no siblings, but if she did, they would definitely know that she was a superhero and the whole plot of her story would be bribing them to keep their mouths shut.

15. What was your OC’s childhood like?

I answered this one here! 

17. What is your OC’s imagination like? 

Annie has a seriously great imagination. She kind of has to in order to be decent at acting. It’s super easy for her to think of a scenario or person and put herself right into the middle of it. Also, it makes her think of all the possibilities and that gets in her way because she overthinks some aspects of her life too much.

19. What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

Considering Annie’s only sixteen right now, she doesn’t want to have kids. Even in the future, she isn’t sure how practical having a kid is given some parts of her past that are kinda spoilery and she doesn’t wanna pass on her powers on accident. But she does enjoy talking to little kids. She thinks they’re funny.

21. Who are your OC’s closest relatives?

Annie rarely sees her extended family, so her closest relatives are her parents. Though she currently feels like her dad can go suck it. Which is fair, he sucks.

23. Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Before the fanfic, Annie was basically a knockoff Cady Heron and tried getting in with the popular crowd. But currently she surrounds herself with Harper, the fashion design genius, and her two favorite nerds Ned and Peter who are actually the sweetest people she knows.

25. If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

Everyone’s favorite Spider-Dude, Peter Parker for sure. It works great, they’re both superheroes. That’s not all, but I don’t wanna spoil stuff.

27. What are some things your OC admires about his/her soulmate?

Okay, if it’s physical, Annie is always going off about Peter’s eyes. Like, if she wants to get a real conversation done, she has to look at something that isn’t his eyes. And can you blame her? Those puppy dog eyes could work on anyone! She also really likes his hair, it just looks so soft. But if it’s not physical, Annie can’t get over how genuinely sweet Peter is. He just gives so many people so many chances and is literally one of the kindest and smartest people she’s ever met. And she does think he’s pretty funny too, which is always a plus for sure.

29. What is your OC’s level of education?

At the start of the fic, Annie’s a sophomore in high school, and at the end she’ll be a junior. Do with that what you will

31. What is your OC’s opinion of school?  What kind of student was s/he?

Annie likes school for the purpose of learning about different stuff. Even if she won’t use it, she doesn’t mind the random trivia. She’s always handing things in late, but she’s normally on the teacher’s good side so they tend to just let it slide because if she’s good at conversing then she must be a responsible student and working hard, right?

33. What subjects interested your OC?

Annie’s a huge theatre kid so she likes anything to deal with acting. English, history, and psychology are probably her favorite. The only subject she can’t get is physics, but she’s pretty solid in almost everything else.

35. How is your OC working towards his/her dream job and/or achieved his/her current profession?

Theatre classes and trying to participate in the school plays and musicals is how she tries. Also, I’m only saying this because it’s not a serious spoiler with how things are going to go, Annie definitely gets into Julliard for acting. Just saying.

37. What is your OC’s biggest dream?

Annie would KILL to be Christing Daae in The Phantom of the Opera, it’s the ultimate dream come true.

39. How does your OC handle anger?

Poorly. Annie loses control over her powers when she’s extremely angry and what happens as a consequence, she can’t control.

41. What is your OC’s greatest fear?

Annie is terrified that her powers will scare away everyone she’s ever cared about.

43. What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

Being the regular Gen-Z kid she is, Annie has a pretty dark sense of humor, but she also likes puns and creating silly nicknames for people.

45. What are some things that annoy your OC?

Being told acting’s not a viable career, that she’s dumb, and that she’s a bad person (she can say it but will fight anyone else who says it).

47. How easily does your OC forgive?

It genuinely depends on what it is and how often the person’s screwed her over. If it’s the first time and Annie likes the person, she’s quick to forgive, but observant. If it’s a repeated deal, it wears on her and she has no qualms about messing with them.

49. If your OC experienced trauma, what was it?

I see you, trying to find out about the Fuckening™. That’s not gonna happen. You gotta read the fic to find out about all that, my dude.

51. What are some of your OC’s morals?

Don’t betray friends, don’t go down without a fight, if you know something and it’s potentially harmful then you gotta say something, and don’t leave people behind.

53. What is the health of your OC?

Physically? Annie’s pretty good except for sleep deprivation. Mentally??? Wellllllllp she may or may not have manicdepressionandanorexiai’mnotsureyet.

55. What are your OC’s thoughts on death?

Totally okay option for her, but definitely not allowed for her friends and loved ones.

57. What are some of your OC’s weaknesses?

Annie’s very critical of herself, sometimes overly competitive, she doesn’t always know when to stop, very impulsive and will do something stupid if she thinks it’s right for .5 seconds.

59. What does your OC think of him/herself?

Annie either thinks she’s the best person ever or she totally hates herself, no in between.

61. What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Annie comes off with a bit of a resting bitch face. So she looks a little intimidating, but she’s also short so how intimidating is that really?

63. How does your OC display love?

Annie pays attention to little things and tries to do small things. Like if someone likes a certain type of tea, she’ll make it for them. Or she’ll compliment them while teasing them at the same time. That’s how anyone would ever know that she’s absolutely smitten.

65. What is your OC’s favorite drink?

Coffee, it lets her get away with sleep deprivation. Although her all-time favorite is a peppermint mocha. She would kill for it year-round.

67. What is your OC’s favorite sweet?

Annie loves anything that’s sour apple flavored. Not only because it matches her Hogwarts house and green’s her favorite color, but because the tartness is just so satisfying.

69. What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather?

Rainy, it reminds her of Seattle.

71. What is your OC’s favorite movie and/or TV show?

Annie absolutely loves all the Harry Potter movies and will proudly display her knowledge of it at any time. She is a huge fan, but she also loves movie musicals to death. Except for the 1961 West Side Story  movie. It uses brownface.

73. What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

Dancing around an empty room like an idiot to music. Either by herself or with someone close to her.

75. What is your OC’s favorite scent?

Rain mixed with fresh baked goods. It reminds her of the market and she would kill to go back.

77. What is your OC’s favorite sound?

Definitely the ukulele. It reminds her of some really good times.

79. What is your OC’s favorite kind of ice cream?

Green tea flavored. Ever had it? It’s so good and I recommend it hardcore!

81. Okay one thing you know about Annie that’ll never make an appearance in the story but is important to who she is as a person - whether it’s a little detail of something she experienced or a belief she has.

Alright, Annie definitely has or had a Captain America themed fidget cube that she keeps in her hoodie pocket because she used to play with the loose thread on the sleeve part and ended up constantly making thumbholes that Harper would have to fix. They got tired of it and gave her the fidget cube.

[xavierfiles-blog]

Christina Strain's Generation X is a Bunch of Weirdos Written By One

Christina Strain’s Generation X is one of the most anticipated titles of the upcoming RessurXtion line up. Christian was perviously a colorist before chaging gears and writing for SyFy’s THE MAGICIANS. 

XF: X-Men means a lot of things to a lot of people but what is X-Men to you?

CS: The X-Men were probably, aside from Batman, the first superheroes that I really latched onto. It was like reading a book about a bunch of misfits in high school, which was exactly how I felt. So it was a book that was really easy to identify with. So for me, X-Men was the book the made me a little more OK about who I was. I think that’s pretty much what that book was made to do and I just want to keep that going.

XF: So let’s talk about Generation X specifically. You’ve got quite a cast. What made you go with such an out there cast?

CS: I love that you asked this question after the previous question. There’s a very specific reason we have loving referred to them as the lovable losers. In the beginning, I told Daniel [Ketchum, editor] right away that one of the things I noticed about comics recently is that they’ve become such a mainstream thing. You have all of these X-Men that are just so cool and they’re so spectacular. When I was growing up one of the things about comics was that only nerds read them. Nobody knew who Iron Man was, let alone Tony Stark. Now you have people that know exactly who that is. So what I wanted to do was go back to the root of what I loved about X-Men in general and work with characters who didn’t fit it. To go back to the thing I emotionally latched onto.

Quentin and Jubilee are everywhere for sure but at the same time, they are still misfits. Everybody else on the team is the same way. They’ve were created before I showed up, but they aren’t particularly well known or frequently used characters. I wanted to give them their moment to shine and highlight that even though they are different they are just as special as every other X-Men character.

It’s so funny, but every time I see someone negatively react to Gen X and say “Who the hell is this cast?” I’m like, “that’s the point!” I’m so excited about using characters that maybe we’ve all forgotten. You don’t expect it.

XF: You’re never gonna have a cast that satisfies everyone, but those 4 people who really love Nature Girl are going to be so pumped to see her in the spotlight.

CS: I am actually surprised that she isn’t more popular. First of all, she’s way more useful than I realized when I first started and secondly, her design is fantastic. Amilcar [Pinna, artist] has been adorable. He loves drawing her. I just feel like she is so easy to cosplay and at the same time fun to draw so I am kinda surprised she’s not bigger than she is. But good for me, I got her.

XF: On that same note, who have you been most excited to write in this whole thing.

CS: I gotta be honest, I love them all which is a terrible freaking answer. I do love Quentin; who I know is a very polarizing character. My favorite version of Quentin is the one who can’t admit what he really wants so he’s just dry and sarcastic. But deep down he’s like the Grinch, he’s got a tiny pink center somewhere in there. Which is fun to write because he’s so bad at being good.

I’ve also had a good time writing Nathaniel, who’s new. He’s kinda based on a friend of mine, who I love dearly. It’s kinda like I’ve been writing a love letter to my friend which starts with “hey buddy, guess what, you’re in a book!”

I’ve also really enjoyed Benjamin Deeds. He’s weird, a little bit of a marshmallow, but at the same time he’s the glue of the team which I didn’t see coming. He’s been a very good empathetic character— which I was expecting to be Trevor (Eye-Boy) but Trevor’s coming out a little goofier than I expected him to be.

XF: Wait, wait, wait, he’s a little goofier than a guy covered in eyeballs would be expected to be?

CS: [Laughs] The thing with Eye-Boy’s abilities is that he should be the most empathetic character that completely understands everybody, but the way that I’ve been writing him is that he is overly focused on certain things. Like, he’ll understand the motivations behind a character’s actions, but not that he shouldn’t say what those motivations are out loud. As I’m writing him, I’m realizing that he “sees all” but really understands very little. Which has been a lot of fun.

And then again Nature Girl, I’ve put a little spin on her that I don’t want to say too much about. They’ve all been a good time. And oh, Bling! Oh my god! I have a lot of feelings about Roxy but I won’t go into that. No spoilers.

XF: The Purifier’s are solicited as the antagonists of the first couple of issues. What got you thinking of using the Purifier’s again?

CS: So they’re not a huge threat in Generation X. We wanted a villain that the school’s prepared to deal with. This isn’t a group that they haven’t run across before. In Kitty’s mind (she’s now running the school) the future X-Men are prepared to deal with this group, so they should be fine. But this book isn’t about them. This book is about our lovable losers and how they maybe screw that up. We just wanted a starter villain to show the pros and cons of what our team could do and the Purifiers seemed like a pretty natural choice for that.

XF: You mentioned the future X-Men. Any hints of who that might be?

CS: To be honest I haven’t sat down and divided the whole school up yet, partially because I want the focus of this book to be on our kids. So the majority of what’s going on with the future X-Men and future ambassadors you’ll see in certain roles in the periphery and sometimes their paths will intertwine, but that’s about it.

I’ll straight up say Broo’s a future ambassador. Pixie, Greymalkin, they’re future X-Men. Shark-Girl also a future X-Man. These classes will kinda come in and out and there will be a few issues where you get more students than others.

XF: You previously were a colorist, pretty famously on Runaways, and now you’re writing. What has that transition been like?

CS: Oh it’s been weird! In a good way. I think the weirdest part about the whole thing is, if you told me at the beginning of my career “hey gurl you gonna be writing!” I’d be like “what dot dot dot huh?” It’s been crazy! And I’m one of those people who feel very compelled to work until they feel like they’ve “earned it,” so that’s a whole thing. Maybe it’s because my mom’s given me a complex about working in comics instead of being a doctor, so I’m just trying to prove a point to her? I don’t know. Anyway, transitioning’s been interesting because I know getting hired as a writer at Marvel is a very difficult thing to do, but I already sort of had an in, but I didn’t want to exploit it. But, because I landed staff writing job on THE MAGICIANS before I was offered the White Fox story I did with Sana Takeda for Civil War II: Choosing Sides, a lot of that pressure was alleviated. I felt like I had earned it.

When Gen X came up I was super excited because Daniel was like “do you wanna do something similar to Runaways?” and if you ask me that I will always say yes. Regardless of what I’m working on, if anything has a Runaways feel to it I am down to clown. I love me some teen drama. So I feel good about the environment, but the actually job itself? It’s great, but still a little foreign. Like, if you handed me some pages so color, I’d look at it and go “I know exactly what I’m doing with this,” because I was so comfortable with coloring. But with writing, I’m still felling some stuff out because I’ve still got a lot of room to grow as a writer.

XF: Speaking of Runaways, how is Molly Hayes not in this book?

CS: OK look, she was the first person on this list to put in this book. You know we’re internally calling these guys the lovable losers, to me Molly Hayes was kinda the star of Runaways. She was the best. I love her so dearly. It was funny because when we were talking about it, Jubilee was the first character we picked and the next person was definitely Molly. Daniel was like “really?” And I was like “you’ve got a good point, she might be too cool for this book.” I’m surprised she’s not the star of her own book in all honesty, Molly is just the best character. The only character in Runaways I was ever terrified of dying was Molly. I was just like, if she dies I’m rage quitting this book. So yeah, Molly is too cool for Generation X.

XF: Just to wrap it up, what do you want fans to be most excited about in this book?

CF: I think just get excited to have some fun. My goal is to have a Runaways tone to it. I wouldn’t say it takes itself overly seriously. It’s not a deep, dark, dramatic book. It’s a bunch of weirdos hanging out written by a human weirdo. So get ready for some weird fun.

Thanks again to Christina for talking with us about Generation X. Make sure to check it out this May! Oh and check the cool new pages for the first issue below!

Christina Strain’s Generation X is a Bunch of Weirdos Written By One was originally published on Xavier Files

[jarchieriverdale]

I'm writing a Riverdale fanfic (Jarchie mainly, with Beronica on the side) which is one of my first proper fanfics ever. Any general tips or maybe even just tips for being brave enough to actually, you know, share it? I'm feeling so awkward about this entire thing!

Can I first start of with saying: so much kudos to you for wanting to put your fic up! Fandoms getting new fics and writers is always a huge YES because we always need more & definitely welcome it ^_^(This definitely ended up being really long, but I made a list further down if you don’t wanna read all my rambling. I’m not sure what specifically you’re feeling awkward about, but I covered a bunch of stuff :))

Reading this I was like, I’m probably not the best person to ask because I have really bad anxiety ?? but then I was like, actually, you know, that’s why I’m probably one of the best people to ask because HOW the HELL do I manage to do this despite that? And honestly it involves a lot of self-talk + bravery + a fuck-it-I’m-gonna-do-it-who-cares mood. And I have a feeling this post is going to be rather long, but I’ll just talk through my own experience and what I’ve told myself, and maybe it’ll help you (or someone else) as well. :D

(I decided to put this under cut IT’S SO LONG IM SORRY (& if you’re on mobile I’m even more sorry t_t) 

I’ve actually been writing stuff for YEARS. I started fanfics in middle school, before that I was writing my own little stories. Little me in primary school and early middle school, so badly wanting to be a writer (I RP’d a lot between 07-10 as well). But I never shared my writing. SOMETIMES with close friends, if I bought up an original story and they were interested I would send it to them. Otherwise, I wasn’t about to share it with anyone. ESPECIALLY not my fanfics when I started. A lot of my earliest have gone unseen by the world (and myself for years). I’m sure this may apply to a lot of people if you’ve written stuff for years, regardless what type of writing it is. I don’t know if you’ve written other stuff before anon, but if you haven’t that’s okay because we all gotta start somewhere & if you want to share it right away that’s one hell of an achievement and damned awesome. On the other hand, if it’s taken a while, that’s great too. Either way, sharing can be one hell of an anxiety inducing situation.

Okay, so when it came to finally posting stuff up, I’d definitely been writing a while, but at this point I knew I really wanted feedback on my writing, and to see if people enjoyed it, so that was a huge factor in me sharing it online. I’d never find out what people thought if I kept it to myself forever. Critique can sometimes be tough (just before my ImperialRemnant account on AO3 I wrote fanfic elsewhere and definitely had “this sucks” reviews - which isn’t so much a critique, but actually being a dick because they weren’t helpful - and definitely had fics that did rather terribly - still do - but it’s all a learning process & you eventually get used to it).

It’s also important where you post it, AO3 would be best of jarchie and beronica, as well as tumblr. Fanfic.net usually does better with gen fics. They’re the only ones I use, although I have accounts on some other sites I still gotta go on.

So I’ll go through things you should remember if you’re nervous about putting up fics (and things I have to remind/tell myself constantly):: 

1. I’ll start with the fact you’ll definitely get reviews/comments/critique like I said previously. But most people are REALLY REALLY nice, so don’t freak out (I tell myself, as I’m trying to rationalise), and I haven’t had anything terrible since making my ImperialRemnant account on AO3 or fanfic.net. And there are always times your fics won’t get any comments at all– and that’s fine too! I’ve had that happen to me, and in the long run, it doesn’t feel like a huge biggy??Also, sometimes people aren’t gonna like what you do and they’ll say that, but that takes me to a second point–

2. It’s not your problem if somebody doesn’t like something. This is really important to know. You wrote the fic because it’s a concept you wanted to write, and something you really wanted to share and that’s amazing. You put tags on everything in your fic, so the person will go in and know what to expect, so if somebody does say something, then it’s like… “it was in the tags/summary? Why did you read this then? Wtf?” then 0% your fault. (Tagging’s important guys! I do find it hard so if you do too then try! You’ll usually be fine). 

3. In regards to quality of fic, there’s definitely is a lot of amazing stuff out there, and that’s overwhelming. But you gotta know, there’s a lot of bad stuff too. I hate to say it, because it’s the nice thing to say all fic is good, but the reality is that’s not true. Your fic may not be the best (hey it may be damn amazing I haven’t seen it xD), but there’s a damn good chance it’s not going to be the worst either. Say to yourself this fic isn’t terrible, it’s fine. Your quality will improve over time anyway when you grow as a writer (Lord forbid there’s stuff from a year ago I published and I’m like… why did I do that…but that brings me to the next point).

4. SOMEBODY WILL LOVE YOUR FIC, I GUARANTEE THIS. I didn’t know this at first but learnt it quickly and have to remind myself EVERY TIME. Even if, later, you’re going “oh god that fic was a dumb idea”, there will be someone, at some point, who will have loved it and enjoyed it and wished there was more. It may just be one or two people but goddammit your audience is always gonna start small, and if it stays that way it will always be worth it for someone (that someone can be yourself too!). The best feeling is when somebody gets excited from your updates (HUGE reason why people should leave comments if they love a fic, because there’s a lot of people who are passive readers even when they love love LOVE a fic & just leave a kudos, definite issue. But I hope as a fandom we can not be like that?).

5. Your writing is not going to be perfect to you, it’ll never be perfect, you’ll be sure there’s a way something could be written better, but maybe you don’t know how to make it better (especially if you don’t have a beta!). I never expect fics, when I go in to read them, to be perfect. No writer is perfect, even properly published writers. You’re going to have to tell yourself it’s the best you can do RIGHT NOW for THIS fic. Put it through an editing program maybe if it’ll make you feel better (I use prowritingaid sometimes?) or leave the fic and go through it later. It’s gonna be fine.

6. Don’t expect much at first. Sometimes first fics can be very successful for people, but there’s a shit-ton of people where this doesn’t happen and it takes a while. When I first put fics up on AO3 they only got less than 10 kudos or something? You will eventually write something that a lot of people may love, but it can take a while. I think… well I’ll give you an example with the Star Wars fandom– I first wrote TFA & Kylux on AO3 before The Force Awakens had even come out, so obviously I didn’t get a lot of attention. When the movie came out, there was few fanfics but I was already there so a lot of people would read my fics (dunno if they liked them, but since they were some of the ONLY ones that existed they didn’t have much choice ;P). If you’re writing fics in a growing fandom you might be more likely get more attention later on your fics, if only because there’s few choices. Some of my fics still have barely any kudos, but I have nearly 60 fics and they’re gonna be a hit or a miss (& they eventually gather more kudos overtime, so even the worst fics have at least a few). With Jarchie, I was actually surprised I got as many as I did, but this fandom’s in the process of growing and I assume a lot of people are reading all the new fics?? It’s probably good for you actually, to right now put a fic when people are reading it and into it. 

6. It gets easier. Man, I ain’t even kidding, the first time I was putting up a fic I was freaking out like mad, going back and forth between the tag, mouse hovering over the publish button, re-reading a billion and ten times. It was ~kinda~ easier in a fandom where nobody was reading the fics because you definitely don’t expect much, but there were a couple of people who definitely enjoyed the series I was writing once I’d put some stuff up. And as time went on, it got much more easier. There’s a huge gap of time I didn’t put any fics up and it was hard to update again, but now that I did it, it’s once again easier to do it. I still have internal battles with myself over it, but it’s quicker to get over it and much easier to win. 

7. I forgot a note so I’m just gonna add it quickly. But if you’re really weird about it, you can first send it to a friend to look over, or a mutual or something. Or, since I myself never could do that, just tell someone about the idea– and I suggest telling someone you know won’t make a negative comment about it. Sometimes a “that sounds interesting” or “that sounds cool” can be even a little helpful. If you’re lucky, might even go a long way.

Honestly, my mind goes through a whole lot of panic, and sometimes it just takes a good mental day, and some excitement about the concept of my fic, to be able to be brave enough to finally put something up. I usually have low expectations when I share it (being a pessimistic person by nature, so as not to disappoint myself), but I’m like… somebody’s gonna like it at some point, it’s not the worst fic I’ve ever seen, it’ll be okay. And if a fic doesn’t do well, then you just need to put it behind and move on (repress memories haha). Leave it up, don’t take it down, somebody may eventually come across it and love it, but there’s no harm done having fics that don’t do well. It might just be that it’s not gonna appeal to most people, and that’s okay.

At the end of the day your fic’s gonna be okay. There’s a bunch of amazing, unique, horrendously weird, terrible, awful fics out there and the last thing you need to feel is awkward. I know this ended up being a monster of an essay but I hope it’s helped, even a little.

tl;dr? No need to feel awkward, sit yo ass down and just fuckin’ do it. Shit’s crazy.