#originally it was going to be 'ao3 tags' but

[gyernon]

SYMPHONIC INSANITY || INANIMATE INSANITY AU

(actual deets below the read more)

hi guys I have no idea how to format this shit, I'm not new to tumblr but I've never actually thrown out my ideas for AUs into the wild. i'm a violinist and i'm using my experience being in some form of orchestra for half my life to write this yippee. alot of this au also draws from my experience being in my current community orchestra :]

inanimate insanity, except they're all in an symphony orchestra!

i literally came up with this yesterday, so things will probably change as time goes on. check back on this post for edits. however, i'm mostly confident with the assignments i've given everyone. deets below the cutoff.

SOME THINGS TO NOTE:

I like ships. I will tag them accordingly but just be aware that Toipad and Knifecase will probably be talked about when I post about this au

Everyone is fully humanized (including Meeple devices and bot)! There are no fantastical elements to this au.

I am confident on the assignment of instruments, minus the brass section lol. I saw a lot of people that played brass instruments respond to my post so if you guys have better suggestions, feel free to give your input on that. However, I am unlikely to change the string instrument assignments. I'm not even religious, but god came down and told me that Lightbulb is a violist.

With that, anything is bound to change because this au is still pretty new.

The events of Symphonic Insanity are not a one-to-one match with the events of II! However, there are parts of the au that do line up with events or character roles/arcs in the show.

I'm not sure yet what I'll do with this au, I'll probably draw art here and there and maybe put some writing on AO3.

ALSO I AM NOT A BAND KID. If I get anything wrong, please let me know!!

Also if you have questions, feel free to ask me! I love yapping about this au. Plus, it'd help me continue to flesh things out.

All posts about this au will be under the hashtag #Symphonic Insanity

MePhone is a conductor familiar with the music scene. He becomes the director of a small orchestra, finding local musicians willing to join. This initial group consists of the season 1 contestants.

They have a concert which draws more attention to the orchestra, and the new group of people that join are the season 2 contestants. Along with that, MePad and Toilet join in as conductors.

After another performance, more people are drawn to the orchestra and this last group of newcomers are the season 3 contestants.

In the beginning, MePhone's orchestra is tiny and he's kinda just handling everything by himself. After their first concert and the addition of Toilet and MePad (along with some others), Mephone now has a team to help him run everything. The orchestra gains attention and popularity overtime, which gets the attention of Steve Cobs.

Steve Cobs is Mephone's estranged father, for good reason (I also imagine Mephone is adopted in this au?). Cobs originally was a solo violinist when he was younger. In the present, he is an influential figure in the music world. Maybe a professor at some school or the head of a music association? A distinguished composer? Who knows, but he's definitely highly regarded.

The growing popularity of Mephone's orchestra would put him on Cobs' radar, chaos ensues... but that's for later.

The story I want to go for with Symphonic Insanity is that of growth. I think quite a few characters would have arcs as musicians that would match/relate to their arcs in the show. I realize writing this that the nice thing about this au is that nobody is competing against each other. At least, they shouldn't be. Instead, they are all working towards the same goal--to put on a good show and improve as musicians.

Everything I laid out above is the general idea of the au. Everything will probably get fleshed out with art or writing as time goes on. With that being said, here are the assigned instruments/roles for everybody:

NON-MUSICIANS

Conductors:

Mephone

Mepad

Toilet

Staff:

Cabby (Logistics)

The Floor (Finances)

Bow (Social Media Management)

Dough (Sound Tech, handles getting recordings and helps out with misc tasks. Also Dough does play the piano, but he just doesn't perform with the orchestra.)

MUSICIANS

Strings

Violin:

Silver Spoon

OJ

Test Tube

Pepper

Salt

Viola:

Clover

Paper

Lightbulb

Bot

Cello:

Soap

Paintbrush

Baseball (can also play Bass)

Bass:

Pickle

Woodwinds

Piccolo:

Balloon

Flute:

Suitcase

Marshmellow

Apple

Clarinet:

Taco

Tea Kettle

Oboe:

Goo

Bassoon:

Nickel

Brass

Trumpet:

Trophy

Knife (for some reason, I am tempted to give Knife Bass Clarinet)

Tuba:

Tissues

Bomb

Trombone:

Cheesy

French Horn:

Blueberry

Percussion

I usually see percussionists being able to play multiple instruments so the ones outside of Piano and Harp aren't strict assignments.

Piano:

Fan

Microphone

Harp:

Candle

Marimba:

Cherries

Timpani:

Lifering

Misc/Plays multiple instruments:

Yin Yang

Aaaand that's everything you need to know about Symphonic Insanity! At least for now. Like I said, art and writing will come in the future if I don't lose steam lol. I do have some posts planned already but I think this is a good start. I hope y'all like it :D

[creators-club]

Welcome to the Worldbuilding Wednesday event. Please refer to the project we did 'Meet the Character / Project' for everyone's talking point, if it is a day where you are encouraged to send asks about characters.

How to participate: Send an ask to a fellow writer starting with "Happy WBW" and ask them about their world. It can be general or specific. This event is open to both original world and fan fiction writers.

Please tag @bardic-tales after you make your post or answer a question, so I can upload it both to @creators-club and @bardic-tales. For any additional questions or info, please see our guidelines post for the club. Thank you.

I am going to put static asks today since my spoons are really low.

Are there forests?

Are there tropical areas?

Are there grasslands / plains?

How are the continents laid out?

How are the countries laid out?

Are there non-human sentient species? Describe them.

Did the people evolve on this planet or come from elsewhere?

Current members:

@bardic-tales @megandaisy9 @watermeezer @littleshopofchaos

@nightingaleflowlibrary @kricketbee

@themaradwrites @pinkevilwriter

@serenofroses @asirensrage @aalinaaaaaa @goldenlilium-ocs @glbettwrites

@wyked-ao3 @badscientist @thebadphilosopher @andromedalestrange

@fantastictrashpolice @seastarblue @happypup-kitcat24 @chickensarentcheap @allaboutmagic

@ryns-ramblings @kathaliabloodyrose @riemmetric @andromedaexists @kckramer

@tales-from-nocturnaliss @pastelpinkhobbies @idonthaveapenname @the-bar-sinister @rosesonkittens

@bloodred2023 @kanobarlowe @aquixoticwrites @new-royston-cursebreakers

@rosemirmir @salmonandfox @fablesandfragments @paganmindidnothingwrong @elshells

@viscerawrites @ellowynthenotking @dawsonskyelar @greenapplespider

@edupunkn00b @the-duke-of-nuts @exclawshou @karkkidoeswriting @meerawrites

@theglitchywriterboi @mayarab

[shamera]

this expresses about 1.5435432% of how much i've been enjoying this series lately, and touches even less on its amazingness, but what can you do.

if you have the time and energy to spare, please go read My S-Class Hunters / The S-Classes That I Raised!!!

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

Dazai leans over the edge, a strong gust of wind is all it would take to push him over, to send him falling to his sweet, ultimate demise.

Chuuya grabs his arm in a strong grip- but he doesn't pull Dazai away from the edge. Chuuya looks Dazai straight in his eyes. Bright blue eyes meet Dazai's and he says in a firm voice,

"If you jump, you'll kill both of us."

And it's clear, right then, how deeply Chuuya trusts Dazai.

And Dazai doesn't jump.

[rosedforbes]

I've been working on this for an embarrassing amount of time, but i finally mustered the courage to post it! this a gift for @galvanizedfriend , my favorite autor, moot, and dare I say friend, on tumblr! Yokan, I'll never stop saying that your fictions are the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, and they've always been a tiny lantern during some tough periods of my life. I really hope you'll like this little Drabble about Kleve 🙏

DISCLAIMERS: Eve is NOT my character, she's from Yokan's series The Wolf ! also, this is my first time ever writing a fan fiction, and English is not my native language, so please, have mercy.

maybe there's a god, after all.

That's the thought that has been crossing Klaus' mind for sixteen years, every single time he looked at his little girl.

After his experience with Marcel, Klaus has realized that raising a child into his own reflection is not a smart move. In fact, if Eve had turned out like her father, it would've been the very end of the whole human - and inhuman - species. Luckily for everyone, his beautiful princess is essentially the mini version of the only woman who shares the custody of his immortal heart with her: Caroline.

They couldn't be more similar if they tried. Like mother, like daughter.

If it wasn't for some specific details that Eve couldn't have taken from anyone but him, Klaus thinks that people would start questioning if Caroline made Eve by herself, without the contribution that is usually required to create another living creature.

That, is all him.

Even if he's quite proud – and grateful — about how Eve's turned out just like her magnificent mother, Klaus can't help but smile when he witness the appearance of one those details he mentioned before: the fondness for art, the passion for swords duels — a voice in the back of his mind reminds him of something Caroline said about this specific factor, "it's called fencing, Klaus. You don't need to kill your opponent anymore to prove your victory." or something along those lines —  the constant presence of dark humor and sarcasm in any of her conversations, and her gigantic, stormy blue eyes that are accompanied by a pair of dimples and a wicked little smile whenever she got something on her mind.

Something that Eve clearly hasn't taken from him though, is her way of showing emotions. Just like his wife, Eve wears her emotions like a second skin, which leads to her being a terrible liar. If she's happy, then the room will light up as soon as she enters it, and everyone can't help but be drawn to her joyful behavior. On the other end, if she's feeling sad, angry, or any other kind of negative emotion, then... Well, she would keep her mouth shut and open it just to make salty remarks, keeping an annoyed — yet adorable, if you ask him — little pout on her face.

That's how Klaus knows that something is wrong.

As soon as he sets foot in the compound, he's greeted by a very common view: Freya and Eve, sitting around the table of the living room, reading and chanting spells.

Normally, Klaus would walk towards them just to make them aware of his presence and to steal a kiss on his daughter's cheek as a brief salute, but he soon realizes that Freya is the only one writing down something in witch gibberish, while Eve is just quietly looking at her aunt, with a frowned expression all over her face.

His little wolf is so caught up on Freya's doing that she doesn't notice him until he's behind her, trying to understand what kind of spell his sister is casting, with a hand gently touching her shoulder. Eve tenses up at the touch, turning her head to look at him almost as fast as a regular vampire. As soon as she sees him though, she relaxes a little bit, offering him a tight lipped smile.

"Hey, Daddy," she says, voice so quiet and hoarse that he probably wouldn't have heard her if it wasn't for his vampirism. " 'm sorry, didn't hear you coming in."

Hearing Eve talking with such a tired and low tone makes his heart explode with concern. She's pure sunshine, his daughter, this cloud of negativity does not belong to her. Nonetheless, he tries to mask his thoughts with a tight lipped smile, looking down at Eve, "Don't worry, sweetheart," He says, moving his eyes to his sister, who hasn't left hers from the grimoires spread around the table even as he introduced himself, "Freya, care to explain what's happening or do I have to guess?" He asks with a tone that indicates nothing but irritation.

Klaus arches his brows in confusion, his gaze switching between Eve and Freya, as to ask for one of them to elaborate what he just heard.

Freya finally looks up, if only to send him a not-so-friendly glare, but before she can snap right back at him, Eve takes word, looking at him like she's about to have a nervous breakdown "Apparently, I'm on house arrest until the Jury," she indicates Freya with her eyes, before turning her attention back to him, "tells me otherwise."  She concludes, and the exasperation of her tone is almost touchable.

It's Freya the one that, with a sigh, steps in. "Some witches have been messing around with a kind of magic way too difficult for them to understand, leading to an imbalance that covers all New Orleans." She explains, rubbing her hands on her temples. "Long story short: right now, every witch in New Orleans is having trouble controlling their magic, especially the younger ones like Eve. In addition, being the tribid gives her an enormous amount of power which is hard to control on a good day, so it's better if we keep her under control, in a limited and safe space."

Eve rolls her eyes as soon as Freya concludes, shifting her position to show him the magic-restraining bracelet on her wrist. "I haven't seen this freaking bracelet in years. I thought I was finally free, but no, some dumbass witch thought it was a good idea to mess with something way too big for them to understand, turning me into a fu-"

"Language." Both Klaus and Freya interrupts her, giving Eve a warning look.

she glares at both of them, visibly annoyed.

"turning me into a freaking bomb." she grumbles, looking down at the pages of the grimoires.

Christ, Klaus thinks, he's losing points as the cool parent.

"Dad?" Eve says, looking at him with an arched eyebrow, like she's expecting something from him. "Are you still here? You haven't threatened anyone since you heard of this, and it's more concerning than a bunch of low-level witches messing around." She concludes.

Klaus takes a long sigh, pulling out his phone from his pocket to send a message to Caroline and the rest of the family. It takes all of his willpower to not storm out and look for this gang of inconsiderate witches, accompanied by nothing but his fury, showing them the treatment that is reserved specifically to the ones that put his daughter in a bad mood, but he recognized the fact that this situation is already unsteady, and there is no space for his impulsiveness, yet.

Well, the sarcastic remarks are only funny when they're not directed at him.

"Trust me, Eve, I have lots to say, but none of it is appropriate in the presence of a child." he retorts, switching his attention back to Freya. "I've sent a message to Caroline and to our siblings, they should all be here in about 40 minutes."

Freya simply nods, gathering all the magic stuff from the table. "I'll call Vincent." she stands up, giving a kiss on Eve's head. "I'm pretty sure he's more informed than us at the moment. Besides, another witch would be helpful."

"what am I? a ghost?!" Eve snaps when Freya disappears in her own bedroom. "I can't use magic, I'm on house arrest, this handcuff is back around my wrist and I haven't even had my daily bignets!" she explains desperately, curling on herself, resting her chin and arms over her knees.

Klaus can't help the low chuckles coming out of his mouth, something that earns him a dirty look from his little wolf.

"I'm glad you find my misery amusing. Father of the year, really." Eve says, enunciating her pout even more.

"Not at all, sweetheart. To be completely honest, I would love nothing more than to go fetch those witches myself and show them what happens when someone dares to upset my daughter," Eve promptly rolls his eyes at that, but he sees how she's trying to bite back a smile.

"However, Your mother would eviscerate me if my impulsiveness took place in a delicate situation such as this one."

"Then what do we do while waiting for mom to come home?" Eve says, and truth to be told, patience has never been a strong suits of her.

"Well, I did get that new painting set you've mentioned lately." He says with a grin, observing how Eve's pout changes to a wide smile between record time.

"The pink one?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"You're the best!" she chirps, jumping from her chair to wrap her arms around his waist, the bad mood evaporating completely from her body. Klaus can't help but smile when he looks down at his daughter, holding her close to him. Oh, how he wishes time would stop, just to remain like this for at least a decade, with his little girl safe, sound and happy in his arms, where no bad intentions can reach her.

"Come on, sweetheart," He says, grabbing her hands "let's see if those colors actually blend on their own." he concludes with a wink, leading her towards the art studio. He knows this happiness is going to be short-lived, but the least he can do is to keep Eve's mind occupied, distracting her from the stress of this situation. As he enters the room, Klaus notices that he's running out of dark red acrylic.

Well, it appears those witches are going to be useful, after all.

[boy-in-red-dress]

This fic is basically if Gravity falls had the psychological horror of Hannibal at this point. Read the tags!!!!

[recycledraccoon]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Dimension 20 (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Adaine Abernant/Oisin Hakinvar, Adaine Abernant & Oisin Hakinvar Characters: Adaine Abernant, Oisin Hakinvar, Lucy Frostblade, The Bad Kids (Dimension 20), The Rat Grinders (Dimension 20) Additional Tags: most of these are mentions - Freeform, no beta's we die like lucy frostblade, Pre-Relationship, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, POV Second Person, Colored Text Summary:

Imagine you're a skinny little dragonborn wizard, in a class with a cute elven girl. You don't talk to her, but one of your adventuring party members is pissed thinking that party is getting preferential treatment, so you KNOW about her. You watch from the corner of your eye or from a spot on the back of the class whenever she's actually there.

[solarlight2625]

what if I said lullaby, my sans undertale oc from middle school, is helping me graduate highschool chat would you believe it /srs

ANYWHO!!! if you're down here ur probably like 'omg lux why are u making angst art' CAUSE I WANNA. Oh and bcuz this is an old piece I finally finished.

anywho. take ur ink and lullaby angst, bcuz I know you want to see it

[lostinalem]

I deleted the original post bcs I was embarrassed and I still am but I'm trying again anyway so full version on AO3 godbless

[dolcinos]

somewhere in canonverse, alfred totally jabs at ivan's weight during arguments and just generally wanting to humiliate him in front of the entire UN. definitely jealous because ivan is actually big-boned and has crazy height to warrant being heavier than al is; of course, he has a bit of a tummy roll, but it's mostly mass and some muscle. alfred would like to believe his own weight is from muscle and natural stature, lmfao, but alas. 99% fat.

a year later after pestering him, though— alfred is nearly double ivan's weight and counting, and it's definitely not from gaining more muscle~

[jtl-fics]

Reality show au for wip wednesday pls? 👉👈I've kind of become obsessed with your fics since reading the ff fic

"Andrew, the unrepentant yank, is staying at his boyfriend's family vacation home in Brighton" The camera has an aerial shot of the Brighton Pier and then a gorgeous little cottage by the ocean.

The camera then cuts to Andrew making something in the kitchen. "Is that a practice bake?" one of the producers ask.

"Soup." Andrew answers, "Idiot forgot his jacket and caught a summer cold running in the rain." Andrew says.

"I'm not sick!" Comes a nasally voice from another room.

Andrew just rolls his eyes.

"That's quite a collection of cook books on the shelf." another producer comments as the camera zooms in on a whole slew of blurred titles.

"It's Neil's uncle's place. He's the one who has every Mary Berry cookbook." He moves the pot off the stove, "Can you leave?" he asks with a frown.

[thirium-sodapop]

moonstone eyes, taaffeite nights

The knuckles are most tender when they're bruised. Even hands that were made for nothing short of bloodshed can be capable of being tender.. or Meruem can at least try.

currently heavily fixated on hunterxhunter and the lack of happy ending for merumugi actually KILLED me! and this fanfic idea brainworm did not leave my mind. they are happy and in love in my heart okay! this is my second fanfic so feedback is cool too..

"Checkmate." Again. Despite the amount of times that he had faced loss against her, he still couldn't fully suppress the thoughts that told him to kill her right then and there, that dark, primal corner of his mind, filled with nothing but outrage at how he had let himself face loss to such a pathetic human time and time again. The corner that demanded retribution for its inability to never truly best her, despite being born specifically to do just that. Best everyone. Best anything.

He was the King. The Supreme Leader of all. He was meant to reign superior over anyone and everything. The audacity of this mere pest, to challenge his authority-

But his thoughts were quickly quieted by the sound of Komugi's voice, the gentle yet familiar tone acting as an ever alleviating balm for his conflicted mind.

Her voice was as soothing as summer rain.

He would never admit that, though. Neither to her, or to himself.

"Ah... you played very well, though..! I was getting nervous with the new strategy that you used.. you got a lot of my pieces.." She never let him dwell on his forthcomings.. no, never. Always so humble. So soft.

Her nature was nothing but the polar opposite of what his was. What was he was made to be. And yet, he couldn't help but feel attracted to her. To her tenderness. Her warmth.

At times he wondered if letting her stay around him for too long would destroy that humanity he had come to get so attached to. If allowing to linger around him like this would taint her. Taint her nature. Turn her into the monster that he was.

And yet.. he kept her close. Perhaps it was his own selfish nature that made him so reluctant to let her go.

"That's enough for today. Go rest." Meruem had straightened up from his position, moving away from leaning his face into his hand. They had been playing for quite the while. He could see the stars in the sky from how late it had been.

Perhaps it was that he simply needed her. As the moon needed the sun, as the clouds needed the sky, as a flower needed water, as the heads side of a coin needed its tails. Perhaps it was as simple as that.

Komugi had quickly interjected, her hands wavering, insistent in wanting to continue. "No, no, I can keep going-"

He quickly cut her off, his tone leaving no room for negotiation. "You will rest. I expect you to be in good condition tomorrow." He had never felt this.. insistent towards maintaining someone else's wellbeing before. Not himself, not his Royal Guards.. no one.

It was... strange, to say the least.

But he wasn't going to fight it. At least, not with the conscious part of his mind.

"Ah.. but, Meruem-sama.." Always sticking to that honorific, even though he saw her as an equal.. despite the protests his Ant instincts may have against such reasoning.

"You heard me." And she relents rather quickly, letting out a soft sigh.

He himself was the one telling her to leave of his own volition. Nonetheless.. he could not help but yearn to keep her company. For him to simply be able to bask in her presence for eternity. Komugi... she was the moon that had brightened up his night skies.

The feeling of pure affection that was welling up in his mind was so strange. So off putting. So disgustingly potent. So sickeningly sweet.

It almost made him want to throw up. The fact that he let this pitiful human worm its way into his heart... The heart that was supposed to be impenetrable, fortified by countless evolutions of species and species of organism, destined for a life of being the ruler of everything..

The human that made the concrete walls he had so diligently created and detailed crumble to dust.

"Komugi..." He spoke her voice with such a delicateness, a fondness, one that could be considered almost unbecoming of a man of his status. Addressing her like a lover when his thoughts screamed at him to treat her like anything but.

Before he himself had processed the action, he had gently cradled her chin in one of his hands, and she practically felt like porcelain in his touch. Ready to crack at the slightest bit of pressure.

He didn't know what possessed him to do it. But it felt.. right. Strangely right. He could feel a wave of contentment wash over him as he brushed his thumb over his cheek, his gaze raking over her face.

...His thoughts had quieted.

Meruem was not used to this. It felt almost as if time had stood still.

...She was beautiful.

So...

Beautiful.

Lord knew how disgusted he'd be with himself for thinking these thoughts so freely later. He really couldn't care less. Not now. Not when he had her. His thoughts couldn't reach him here. Not when he had her in his grasp... his mind had finally been able to go quiet, for once.

"Meruem-sama..." And yet, Komugi's mind was the complete opposite. Her thoughts were racing. Meruem was holding her so gently, so , she could feel her heart hammering out of her chest.

No one had ever held her so sweetly. Was this happening? Was this sensation real..? Why was he so.. nice to her? She was.. nothing. That was all she had been from her birth. Forever the burden on the people around her. Forever the burden around her family. Gungi was her only saving grace from being completely useless. So why...

Why did he make her feel like she was more than just a Gungi champion..? More than just her title? Even if the only thing that they did together most of the time was play with each other, Meruem made her feel.. like more than just what she was meant to be.

He made her feel like.. herself. Like Komugi. Like how she was meant to feel. Like a person. Like a human...

It was ironic, really.

How he had more humanity than any of the people in Komugi's life. And yet, he wasn't even a human.

She truly didn't deserve him... his touch.. she didn't deserve any of it...

But before her thoughts could go any further, he lets his hand go, looking almost remorseful for even daring to touch her.

"..Go, Komugi." Meruem's voice had practically came out in a whisper, his gaze looking off to the side as he had addressed her, his voice tinged with a hint of.. guilt. Guilt for letting her stay around like this for so long, guilt for practically tainting her, leeching onto any semblance of her he could have with him like a damn parasite.

...

"And.. come back tomorrow."

...

Oh. Maybe he didn't feel so guilty after all. But... most kings are selfish, anyway.

Perhaps he could let himself bask in her presence just a bit more...

Just for a little bit.

[theflyingfeeling]

💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

.

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

~

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia. 

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him. 

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him. 

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet. 

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself. 

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

[brittlebutch]

"My mother was called in for an emergency shift," it explains tightly. "So she could not drive me at the correct time. She informed me I would simply have to wait inside the store until my scheduled shift arrived." "Oh, gross, don't do that," Augustus supplies immediately, and then forces herself to course-correct, head twitching to the side. "Or, I mean, you could, like it is allowed, but you don't have to. My lunch break just started, so you can just sit with me instead." The Changeling turns its head just enough to stare at her from the corners of its eyes. "Obviously," it says, and its tone broadcasts the implicit 'Idiot' so clearly that even Augustus can hear it. The whole thing makes her feel unbearably fond.

You can also read this fic on my neocities!!

[transfemzedaph]

your fics are great dude never stop creating :3 i was mostly only able to get to reading the ao3 ones tonight but i'll def be back - @helsex

u are so niceys <3