#ordering dinner last night took wayyyyy too long

[youareinlove]

i am pleased to inform you all that i ate a second lunch today so i will not be dying of hunger by the folklore set

[thedamselzelda]

Break Into Chains

Featuring: Fyodor Dostoevsky & Beast! Dazai Osamu

Summary: Waiting... watching... done. Perhaps, playing this role was meant to take lesser time? Who could know now? Nevertheless, it's a role you must play out to its finale. Who knows what the end might be now? If only your part had been planned out better...

word count: 9.2k+, fem!reader, HOTD!reader → pm!reader (perhaps?), nsfw (domestic abuse [possessive Fyodor, very unhealthy relationship]), reader referred to with other names (no use of y/n), reader's eyes described as violet, Russian words used (general meanings at the end), slightly proofread

Author Note: Dear lord have mercy. This took wayyyyy too much time and for that I am sooooo sorry. I wanted to have this out last week, but the first scene DRAINED ME. I want to remind, or warn readers, this is a Dazai x reader fic, so Fyodor is not painted in good light.

ᡣ𐭩 There's also an additional part at the end since this part has been so delayed. The time is slightly ambiguous since I can't quite say when Dazai becomes PM Boss

previous part ~ next part | LBH masterlist | BSD Masterverse

Weeks had passed without a word from Fyodor, lulling you into a false sense of security. Yet, you knew better. His rats - Nikolai chief among them - lurked in the shadows, their watchful eyes ever-present. The unsettling thought that some of your own staff might be secretly under his command gnawed at the edges of your mind. But with the immense pressure of your new responsibilities, you couldn't afford to dwell on such paranoia.

Crisp crinkles echoed through your office as you shuffled through the papers littering your desk. Your eyes darted from document to document, meticulously ensuring everything was in order for the weeks to come. Invoices for food and excess liquor orders were neatly stacked, the staff schedule awaited your final approval, and ornate invitations for a masquerade party - Kōyō's insistence for after the Star Festival - had been prepared. The merger with the Port Mafia had transformed The Midnight's Caress into a whirlwind of activity, far beyond your initial expectations.

A weary sigh escaped your lips as you massaged your temples, the beginnings of a headache pulsing along your brow. A lit cigarette dangled precariously between your fingers, and you took a long, desperate drag, hoping the nicotine would quell the growing tension. The smoke curled lazily in the air, a stark contrast to the frenetic energy that now permeated the club.

When you agreed to sell to Osamu - to the Port Mafia - you hadn't anticipated this surge in business. Moreover, you'd agreed to the club becoming a front for trade, strictly in jewels. It was an additional burden, one you tried to distance yourself from, clinging to the illusion of separation from Mafia affairs.

Thankfully, Osamu had been true to his word, respecting your wish for distance from Mafia affairs. Yet, he kept you informed of pertinent matters, treating you with the consideration typically reserved for a high-ranking executive within the Port Mafia. This delicate balance he struck only served to underscore the undeniable shift in your relationship.

What had begun as harmless weekly chess games had gradually evolved into something more intimate. Weekend dinners became a regular occurrence, followed by conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning, ending only when dawn threatened to break the night's spell. His presence, once a distant memory, now constantly permeated your thoughts, even in sleep. In your dreams, Osamu appeared to you, gentle and caring, showering you with the kind of love he insisted you “deserved.” These nocturnal visions left you feeling both comforted and conflicted, a stark reminder of the complex emotions that still lingered between you.

The lines between past and present, professional and personal, had begun to blur, causing you to find yourself navigating through an increasingly complicated emotional landscape. Osamu's actions spoke of a desire to rebuild what was lost, while your own feelings remained a tumultuous mix of longing, caution, and the ever-present awareness of your true mission.

Your weary eyes drifted to your phone, its white light a stark contrast to the warm yellow glow of your desk lamp. A message from Osamu illuminated the screen:

Osamu:Hey, I'm sorry. I ran into some issues here. I'll be there soon. Did you decide on a place yet?

A small smile tugged at your lips, the domesticity of the message both comforting and unsettling. You extinguished your cigarette in the overflowing ashtray, ash and butts a testament to your increased stress. With a deep breath, you reached for your phone, fingers hovering over the keys as you contemplated your response. The soft glow of the screen illuminated your face in the dimly lit office.

Still settling everything for Kōyō's party in the upcoming weeks. I picked dinner last week, so I'd say it's your turn. Surprise me.

The smile lingered on your lips, a small content sigh escaping through. For a moment, the weight of your responsibilities seemed to lift, replaced by a warm anticipation.

"Who's got you smilin' like that?"

You whipped your head around, heart leaping into your throat at the unexpected voice. Nikolai stood in the shadows, his lanky form materializing as if from thin air.

"Fuckin' shit, Nikolai!" You breathed, slamming your phone screen down upon your desk. Your smile instantly vanished, happiness evaporating. "I have a fucking door!"

You shot your hand up and gestured at the door, only to freeze as it swung open. The atmosphere in the room shifted palpably, the air growing thick with tension as Fyodor entered, Dimitri closing the door behind him with a soft click.

"Fyodor!" You plastered on a smile, rising to your feet. You felt Nikolai watching you, stepping back slightly to allow you to approach the front of your desk.

Fyodor's hand rose slowly, a silent command for silence. His eyes, cold and unreadable, refused to meet yours. "Have you been having a good time, moya zhena? I see you are quite busy."

He gestured to your desk in disarray behind you. You cocked your head, clinging to your facade of innocence. The words fell from your lips quickly, showing your anxiety from the sudden, unexpected intrusion. "Admittedly, business has increased dramatically, which is why I haven’t been regular in our correspondences—"

Nikolai's sharp laughter cut through the air. He held up a champagne bottle, a mocking toast.  "No need to be so anxious, Marena. We simply came to... ‘surprise you’, seeing as you sold The Midnight’s Caress and still have ownership. That’s quite interesting."

You shot an irritated glance at Nikolai, who fell back onto chaise with infuriating casualness. Closing your eyes, you shook your head, trying to regain composure. Your eyes fluttered open to look back at Fyodor. "I only sold it to get closer to him. He thinks you're abusing me. I'm using that to our advantage."

"But why would I harm you, moya dorogaya zhena?" Fyodor's gloomy expression finally rose to meet yours, his eyes boring into you with unsettling intensity. His eyes shimmered slightly, as if trying to coax you into a sense of security. "I love you."

Irritated by his selection of reply, your eyebrow twitched involuntarily. His cold tone a stark contrast against his words. "Of course, moya lyubov'. I know that. Just as I love you."

Fyodor moved towards you, his gaze never wavering. Your body reacted instinctively, inching backward till you brushed against your desk, betraying your mind's attempt at control. "Yet, you cower from me."

Your eyes darted between his, desperately searching for the motive behind this unexpected visit. Panic rose in your throat; Osamu would be arriving soon, and Fyodor couldn't be here when he did. "I just… feel your impatience, moy dorogoy; your unrest. I assure you; I’m working my way back in. The Book will be ours."

Fyodor’s lips curled down; you could see he was no longer interested in your promises, your efforts. "Still, I see no progress from you. You have yet to even pass through the threshold of the Port Mafia’s doors."

"I—"

Before you could explain yourself, Nikolai's voice cut through, uncharacteristically low and ominous. "The rats have watched you, Marena. And unfortunately for you, they've whispered of your betrayal in the dark halls."

Your jaw clenched involuntarily as he continued, "Fyodor doesn’t exactly see your late-night rendezvous with Dazai as productive.” Nikolai's lips curled into a cruel smirk. "Who knows what the two of you have been up to?"

The implication hung heavy in the air, a deliberate attempt to unsettle you and sow further doubt in Fyodor's mind. You fought to keep your expression neutral, acutely aware of the growing tension in the room and the dangerous ground you now tread.

Your chest heaved with each breath, anger and fear coursing through your veins. But you refused to continue to cower before them. "Of course you've been watching me. Whispering lies into my husband's ear." You raised your chin, forcing steel into your gaze. "You have been envious of me since the moment he brought me in."

Your ears began to ring loudly from Nikolai’s boisterous laughter. You gritted your teeth, becoming increasingly irritated by his presence. Nikolai’s laughter faded into a malevolent grin. "Envious? Oh, Marena, don’t be absurd! Who could envy a woman who clings to men who see her as nothing but a tool?"

You remained silent, taken aback by his venomous words. A flicker of hope prompted you to glance at Fyodor, expecting him to intervene, to silence Nikolai's disrespect. But as your eyes met his impassive gaze, the harsh truth crystallized - Fyodor was no longer your ally.

The realization hit you like a physical blow. Months of delayed progress, your prolonged failure to retrieve The Book, had worn Fyodor's patience. Nikolai, ever the opportunist, had seized upon this, whispering doubts and suspicions into your husband's ear. Now, standing before you, Fyodor was a stranger; his former affection now completely erased, replaced by cold calculation.

You felt Nikolai's gaze bore into you, his words continued cold and calculated. "Dazai’s affection doesn’t make you special. To him, you're just another expendable pawn in his grand game. And Fyodor," he gestured towards your husband, "anyone could see he doesn't favor you out of love; he pities you! You're nothing more than a tragic puppet, dancing on strings held by men who will never see you as their equal!"

Your eyes fluttered, a tempest of emotions raging behind them. Frustration and anger simmered in your veins, not just at Nikolai's cutting words about Osamu - words you knew to be far from the truth - but at your own naivety. The realization crashed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you clear minded for the first time in ages.

Fury ignited in your gaze as you locked eyes with Fyodor. "Is that so?" The words escaped as a low, dangerous murmur. You searched his face one last time, hoping against hope to find a glimmer of the man you thought you had married. But there was nothing - only a cold, calculating stranger stared back.

"It makes so much more sense now," you continued, your voice gaining strength with each word. Fyodor's head tilted slightly, a flicker of intrigue crossing his otherwise impassive features. He seemed curious about the conclusions you were drawing from Nikolai's taunts.

"I was a girl wanting freedom and you saw that dream in me, and so you seized the opportunity. You wanted to dangle me in front of Dazai this whole time," you spat, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place with sickening clarity. "That's why you insisted I return home! So you could give him a taste of something he couldn’t have. You lulled me into a false sense of security, fed me morsels of affection to temper my cravings, all to push me towards retrieving The Book! Not for us! But for you!"

Throughout your revelation, Fyodor's expression remained stoic, unmoved by your piecing together of his elaborate scheme. His lack of reaction only confirmed your suspicions, twisting the knife deeper. You were intelligent - Fyodor had always known this. It was inevitable that the facade would eventually crumble, that the truth would come to light.

You took an intentional step forward, and it was now Fyodor who took a slight step back.

"Now, you cower from me." You laughed, a sound tinged with both bitterness and newfound resolve. The sound cut through the tense silence, causing Nikolai to stiffen slightly in the background. Your eyes never left Fyodor's as you closed the distance between you, each step deliberate and measured.

You stopped mere inches from him, so close you could feel the warmth of his breath. The familiar scent of his scent, once comforting, now seemed nauseating and oppressive. Still, you didn't flinch or back away. Instead, you tilted your chin upward, meeting his gaze with unwavering defiance. Your proximity forced Fyodor to look down at you, a subtle shift in the power dynamic. Despite the slight height difference, it was clear you were not intimidated. Your body language radiated confidence, a stark contrast to the meek subordinate he had expected you to remain.

Your lips curved into a smirk, a dangerous glint in your eyes. Fyodor mirrored your expression, his own smile cold and calculating. The air between you crackled with tension, two predators sizing each other up. Your voice dropped to a menacing whisper; each word laced with deadly intent.

"You gravely misjudged me, Fyodor. You saw a vulnerable girl to be manipulated, a pawn in your grand design." Your eyes narrowed, boring into his with unwavering intensity. "But soon, you'll witness the true nature of the Port Mafia's Izanami. And you'll realize just how badly you've miscalculated. With every new life you assume, ty chertov ublyudok, I will find you and kill you, again and again, until the day comes when you can’t tell where you end and the life you stole begins."

Fyodor's lips curled into a cold smile. "Eto tak?" he replied, his voice dripping with mockery as he echoed your words. His eyebrow arched, a gesture of casual dismissal that belied the tension in the room. "Well, Izanami, I think that you'll find that your role here is not quite yet finished."

As Fyodor spoke, his lifeless gaze slid past you, settling on Nikolai. The abrupt shift in his attention left you reeling, a sudden vertigo gripping you. An icy tendril of dread snaked down your spine as Fyodor turned away, his lack of retaliation more unnerving than any threat.

In that disorienting moment, the gravity of your mistake crashed over you. You had fixated on Fyodor, forgetting the other dangerous player in the room. The air grew thick, almost suffocating, as time seemed to stretch and warp. Your instincts screamed a warning, every nerve on high alert.

It happened in the blink of an eye.

A whisper of movement behind you sent alarm bells ringing through your body. Pure instinct took over, your mind barely catching up as you spun around. Your eyes widened in horror as they locked onto Nikolai's form. His face wore a sadistic smile, eyes glinting with cold purpose as his arm arced through the air.

Desperately, you threw up your arm in a futile attempt at protection. However, it did no good as the champagne bottle connected with brutal force, shattering against your skull with a sickening crack. A shower of glass shards rained down, mixing with the sticky liquid that now saturated your hair and trickled down your face. A sharp, burning pain lanced through your forearm where the bottle's jagged edge had sliced into your skin.

The world lurched violently, your vision swimming in and out of focus. Agony exploded through your head, each pulse sending waves of nausea and pain radiating outward. You staggered, your legs threatening to give way as your senses overloaded, struggling to process the sudden assault.

Across your back, you felt the sharp, stinging pain of multiple lacerations. The acrid smell of champagne mixed with the metallic tang of blood, confirming your suspicions about the source of these new wounds - the shattered remains of the bottle that had started this brutal assault.

Nikolai then seemingly darted around you with intentional speed, exploiting his ability to materialize in your blind spots. Your eyes desperately tried to track his movements, but he always seemed one step ahead, vanishing and reappearing like a malevolent specter. The sharp sting of alcohol assaulted your vision, and as you struggled to blink away the burning sensation, a sickening crack echoed through the air.

A crushing force collided with your right arm, the impact reverberating through your body. Your mind reeled as you imagined the bone splintering beneath your skin, fragmenting into a thousand jagged pieces. A guttural cry escaped your lips as your arm went limp, hanging uselessly at your side. Before you could process the agony, another vicious blow struck the same shoulder, intensifying the waves of pain coursing through your body.

Despite the overwhelming pain, survival instinct kicked in. You fought back with desperate, uncoordinated movements. Your uninjured arm flailed wildly, fingers grasping at the air where Nikolai had been just moments before. If you could just make contact, just brush his skin with your fingertips, you knew it would all be over. Your ability would cease this nightmare. However, Nikolai was too quick, too practiced. He danced just out of reach, leaving nothing but empty air in your grasp. Your frustration mounted with each failed attempt, the realization of your powerlessness adding a new layer of anguish to your physical torment. The bitter taste of failure mingled with the blood in your mouth. As your body screamed in agony as the assault continued, hit after hit, a different kind of pain blossomed within your chest. Resentment bubbled up, hot and caustic, directed not just at your attackers but at yourself.

You wrestled with the dawning realization, desperately trying to silence the insidious voice in your mind. It whispered at first, then grew to a deafening roar with each passing moment of agony. "You fool," it seemed to taunt, the words reverberating through your battered psyche. "Look at the mess you've made of things."

Your thoughts drifted to that sun-drenched day at the quaint café in Italy, the scent of espresso and freshly baked cornetti, and the charming smile across from you still vivid in your memory. But no, you sowed the seeds of your downfall were planted even earlier. You recalled the day Osamu approached you, his eyes a frenzy of emotions, seeking reassurance as he grappled with the weight of his sudden succession. Instead of offering support and feeling relief at the resolution, you had chosen indifference, allowing bitterness to take root in your heart. Was it not you who had longed for it more?

It seemed trivial now to dwell on the chain of decisions that had led you to this moment of reckoning. Yet, as your body gave way and you crumpled to your knees on the cold, unforgiving floor, these memories were all you could cling to, a lifeline in the sea of pain and regret threatening to drown you.

"Please..." The word escaped your lips as a barely audible whisper, a final, desperate plea. Despite its softness, it was enough to give Nikolai pause, his imposing figure freezing mid-motion.

Fyodor's voice sliced through the tense silence, calm yet commanding. "I do believe that gets the point across. Thank you, Nikolai."

As the tears cleared your vision and burning, you saw Nikolai step back, lowering his improvised weapon—an ornate, silver candelabra from your office, now stained with crimson. A bitter chuckle escaped your lips, bordering on hysteria. Your hand had gone numb, and a vice-like pressure tightened around your chest. It took every ounce of strength to keep your head lifted as Fyodor approached, replacing Nikolai's looming presence.

He crouched before you, raising his hand to thread his fingers through your matted, sticky locks. "Moy malen'kaya mysh'," he murmured.

A solitary tear escaped as you attempted to turn away in disgust, but Fyodor cupped your cheek with unsettling tenderness, like a lover trying to soothe your pain. His thumb gently wiped away the tear threatening to streak your bruising skin. He shushed you softly as your lip quivered, unable to contain your anguish.

"I will give you one more chance, moya samaya bol'shaya lyubov'. Perhaps this will help get you through the guarded gates of the Port Mafia." Fyodor said, his voice a velvet caress as he stroked your head. Despite his gentle demeanor, the weight of his power over you was palpable. Your breath caught in your throat at his next words. "But if you fail me, I will have that detective you are so fond of gutted."

Your eyes fluttered as fresh tears welled up and spilled over. You shook your head weakly, your pleas barely above a whisper. "No... no, please."

Fyodor's smile was soft, almost benevolent, as he leaned in to press his lips against yours. You squeezed your eyes shut in revulsion, forcing yourself to return the twisted show of affection. As he pulled away, he hovered mere inches from your face, his breath warm against your skin. "I hope you're creative with my death this time," he murmured, his words laced with dark anticipation. "Just one page, moy dorogoy. That's all I need. Bring me one page from The Book within a month’s time, and perhaps, I'll reconsider the detective's fate. Fail me again, and... well, let's hope it doesn't come to that."

You remained motionless as Fyodor rose, your eyes tracking his every movement as his attention shifted back to Nikolai. Each breath became increasingly laborious, pain radiating through your body in waves, discovering new territories of agony with each passing moment. The metallic taste of blood lingered on your tongue.

As Nikolai moved to open the door for their departure, Fyodor's gaze returned to you, his eyes glinting with a mixture of possessiveness and cruel amusement. His voice, smooth as silk yet sharp as a blade, cut through the heavy air between you.

"Despite Nikolai's charged words, Dazai evidently still harbors feelings for you. But, moya dorogoy zhena," he paused, "he will do what he must to achieve his goals. You are nothing more than an obstacle for him, a fleeting distraction."

Fyodor's lips curled into a smile that never reached his eyes as he delivered his final, chilling statement. "To me, you are everything, moy angel smerti. You would do well to remember that."

The words hung in the air, as stale as the empty promise of helping you. As the door closed behind them, leaving you alone with your pain and the weight of Fyodor's threat, you couldn't help but feel the noose of circumstances tightening around you.

You winced, a sharp hiss escaping through clenched teeth as you gingerly cradled your broken arm, drawing it close to your body. The initial surge of adrenaline began to ebb away, leaving in its wake a tide of overwhelming pain and exhaustion. Your eyelids grew heavier with each passing moment, the world around you starting to blur at the edges.

From somewhere far away, as if through a thick fog, you heard the faint buzzing of your phone vibrating on the desk. Osamu calling, no doubt. A part of you yearned to answer, to hear his voice, but your limbs felt leaden, unresponsive. In that moment of weakness, you found yourself hoping—praying even to whatever cruel deity might exist— that Osamu would somehow sense your distress and come to find you.

As your eyes fluttered closed, fresh tears carved warm trails down your cheeks. Fyodor's words echoed in your mind, a haunting refrain. Even in this dire situation, with your relationship to Fyodor taking this twisted new turn, you couldn't bear the thought of Oda becoming a target. You tried to steady your breathing, pursing your lips with each labored exhale as you tilted your head back, fighting against the encroaching darkness.

The phone continued to buzz, the sound becoming from further and further away. With immense effort, you attempted to rise, to crawl towards that lifeline. But your body betrayed you, and you pitched forward, your cheek connecting with the plush fibers of your new rug. Another one to be replaced… Your vision narrowed to a pinpoint, then faded to black. The last vibration of your phone became nothing more than an auditory ghost, dissipating as consciousness slipped away.

Osamu, what did I do…

Osamu's leg bounced incessantly as he sat in the back of the sleek black car, the soft leather seat doing little to calm his fraying nerves. He cursed under his breath, pressing his hand firmly against his thigh in a futile attempt to still the movement. The usually composed Mafia executive was irritated with himself, his calm facade cracking under the weight of his tumultuous thoughts.

Neon lights from the bustling Yokohama nightlife flashed across his face in a dizzying array of colors, muddling the conflict swirling within his mind. Tonight. It had to be tonight. The mantra repeated in his mind, a mix of determination and barely contained anxiety. He was going to ask you to return to the Port Mafia, to come back to his side where you belonged. The very thought sent a tremor through his body, a potent cocktail of exhilaration and terror coursing through his veins.

God, how he hoped you had sensed his intentions during the past weeks—surely you must have. All those carefully orchestrated conversations, the gradual sharing of executive-level information... He'd watched you absorb it all, your eyes lighting up with that familiar spark of intrigue and excitement. If anything, that light seemed even brighter than in the other universes he glimpsed in his dreams and visions.

Osamu's mind reeled, memories from alternate realities blurring together in a kaleidoscope of possibilities. In every version, you were there, a constant by his side across the multiverse. Here, now, in this world - why should it be any different? It shouldn't. It couldn't be any longer. The separation had gone on far too long already.

But what if...? No. He violently shoved the doubt aside, refusing to let it take root. You'd been so receptive, so eager to engage with Mafia matters again, even if there had been initial hesitation. Surely that meant something. It had to.

He needed you back. The Mafia needed you. But if he was honest with himself - a rarity for the guarded man - he longed for your return on a level that transcended mere organizational goals. You made him feel... whole. Grounded. Like the best version of himself, a feeling he'd been desperately missing since your departure.

What if he pushed too hard? What if this was the mistake that finally drove you away for good? The thought made his chest constrict painfully, his breath catching for a moment.

No. He couldn't think like that. In every universe, in every reality, you belonged at his side. This one couldn't be the exception. He wouldn't allow it to be.

His hand moved instinctively, reaching into his breast pocket to retrieve his phone. With slightly trembling fingers, he punched in your number, holding the device to his ear. The monotonous rings gave way to your familiar voicemail greeting: "Thanks for giving me a call! Sorry I can't get to my phone right now!"

Osamu frowned, a new thread of worry weaving its way through his already tangled thoughts. Why weren't you answering? Surely, you were just attending to matters within the club, your phone left behind in your office. Yes, that had to be it.

"You 'ight, boss?"

Osamu's gaze snapped up to the rearview mirror, meeting Albatross' concerned look. He cleared his throat, forcing himself back to the present moment.

"Yes, Albatross," he replied, his voice steadier than he felt as he closed his phone with a swift motion. "Our ETA?"

"Just under two, sir."

He hummed in acknowledgment, his fingers seeking out the familiar texture of his silk scarf, fidgeting with it to channel his nervous energy. As his eye darted about the passing streetscape, he fought against the nagging thoughts threatening to overwhelm him.

For what if you refused, purely out of fear of Fyodor retaliating? Or what if...? No. Here he was once more fighting himself. He couldn't let himself go down that path. You would see reason. You had to. Because the alternative – a world where you weren't by his side – was simply unthinkable. Especially now, with the clock ticking relentlessly on his grand plan. Osamu was acutely aware of the limited time he had left in this world, and he was determined to spend as much of it as possible with you. Every moment was precious, every shared experience a treasure to be cherished before the inevitable end. He needed you back, not just for the Mafia, not just for his plans, but for himself – to make these final chapters of his story truly meaningful.       

Osamu exhaled sharply through pursed lips as Albatross brought the sleek black car to an abrupt stop outside The Midnight's Caress. The club's neon sign bathed the street in a garish blue glow, highlighting the queue of patrons eager to enter your establishment.

"I'll only be a moment," Osamu said, his voice taut as he slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket. His fingers curled around the door handle. "We'll be going to Azamino Ukai-tei once I return."

Albatross let out a derisive snort, his eyes meeting Osamu's in the rearview mirror. "Azamino Ukai-tei? Seriously, boss? Taking her to such a fancy place?" He shook his head, not bothering to hide his disdain. "What's next, gonna get down on one knee? Oh wait—" He paused for effect, his lips curling into a smirk. "Forgot she's already got that rat bastard."

Osamu froze, his knuckles whitening on the door handle as he shot a sharp glare at his subordinate. The caustic comment struck a nerve, but he couldn't entirely fault Albatross for his opinion. The other Flags shared similar sentiments about you.

"That's enough, Albatross," Osamu warned, his voice low and dangerous despite the turmoil roiling within him.

Albatross raised his hands in mock surrender, but the sarcasm in his voice was palpable. "Sure thing, boss. Just remember, some stray cats ain't worth bringing home, no matter how pretty they are."

Osamu gave a heavy sigh, too preoccupied with his own emotional storm to properly address Albatross's insolence. "We'll be down soon," he muttered, yanking the car door open and slamming it shut behind him, the sound echoing in the night air as he tried to push Albatross's words from his mind. Damn that man and his sharp tongue. It was an unwelcome reminder of how The Flags disapproved of you, a fact that had been a constant thorn in his side even before your departure.

He couldn't help but recall that day - the five remaining Flags and you, standing in his office with heads bowed in shame. The memory was etched into his mind, a permanent reminder of the crime committed within Port Mafia walls. What had been done was done. All six of you bore the consequences of your actions from that day forward, and he knew he couldn't fix what had been permanently damaged, no matter how much he wished otherwise.

Shaking his head to escape his thoughts, Osamu strode towards the club's entrance and was recognized immediately. The doorman stepped aside with a respectful nod. Osamu returned it with a curt nod and faint smile of his own, passing the threshold of curious onlookers. His eye took in the full crowd before him, an impressive amount on the Thursday night. He searched among the throngs for any sign of you, desperate to catch a glimpse of those amethyst eyes he knew so well. But among the bustle of staff and club-goers, he found no trace of you. Strange, he thought. He'd expected you to be downstairs, if not waiting for his arrival.

Without your guiding presence, he found it oddly difficult to navigate the crowd. To the drunkards and oblivious patrons, he was no one important - a foreign feeling in a city where nearly everyone feared the Port Mafia's presence. As he moved through, his gaze caught a few staff members whispering and glancing his way. Their eyes held judgment and cruelty, something he hadn't seen in them before tonight. It was as if he was unwelcome in the building he'd visited so many times before.

The longer he watched, the more they seemed to scurry away, like rats exposed to sudden light. Shadows darted across his peripheral vision, always just out of sight when he turned to look. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he approached the first flight of stairs. Something was wrong here; he could feel it in the oppressive silence and the stale air that clung to his skin. But what exactly? And where were you? The questions echoed in his mind, amplifying his growing anxiety.

His feet carried him upward as quickly as his thoughts raced, skipping up the flights with increasing urgency. The banister felt sticky beneath his palm, and he could have sworn he heard whispers emanating from behind the peeling wallpaper. His breath came in short, sharp bursts as he climbed higher, the pit within his stomach churning with each step.

The stairwell seemed to stretch endlessly before him, twisting and turning like a maze, though he knew it wasn’t so. Dim, flickering lights cast grotesque shapes on the walls, transforming innocent shadows into menacing silhouettes. He pressed on shaking the visions from his mind, driven by a mixture of fear and determination, his senses hyperaware of every sneer and whisper within the building. If he hadn’t been able to negate other’s abilities, he would assume these visions to be the works of another ability user. Unfortunately for Osamu, they were common works of his own mind, something he hadn’t quite yet become familiar with as negative thoughts poured in to drown him.

Alarms rang within his ears as he yanked himself onto the third landing, his bandages feeling damp and sticky against his skin from the sudden exertion. His unbandaged eye immediately locked onto the empty door frame of your office, conspicuously devoid of Dimitri's imposing presence. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of darkness visible through the gap, but not enough for him to peer inside.

He swallowed hard as he caught his breath, the taste of adrenaline bitter on his tongue. His hair, slightly damp with sweat, fell slightly into his face, obscuring his vision. With trembling fingers, he ran a hand through the tangled strands, pushing them back. His other hand reached out tentatively to tap the door open.

As the door widened with an ominous creak, his worst fears were justified. There you were, motionless in the dim light filtering through the blinds drawn over the office windows. Your name fell from his lips, quietly at first, a desperate whisper in the silence. Then, as his leaden feet carried him forward, your name escaped louder, echoing off the walls in hopes of rousing you from your unnatural stillness.

His eye roved over your still figure, taking in every detail with growing dread. Your head was slumped forward, a curtain of hair cascading down to hide your face from view. Your back was pressed against the front paneling of your desk. In your lap, you cradled one arm, the angle suggesting injury or worse.

"Bella?" Osamu's hands trembled as he gingerly brushed your hair from your face, his nostrils flaring at the pungent scent of alcohol mingled with something metallic. His unbandaged eye roved across your features, his heart clenching at the sight of fresh crimson droplets and forming bruises marring your skin. As his fingers found purchase upon your cheeks, he released a shaky sigh of relief when you grimaced, your eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Osamu?" Your voice, barely above a whisper, sent a jolt through him. He watched, transfixed, as tears escaped from your eyes, leaving glistening trails down your battered face.

He managed a weak smile, feeling his own eyes well up. Internally, he cursed as the bandage over his left eye became damp. The urge to protect you, to shield you from further harm, overwhelmed him. Before he could stop himself, he pulled you toward his chest, wincing as you let out a sharp groan.

"I'm sorry, I..." Osamu's voice trailed off, the words catching in his throat. Seeing you in such a state was excruciating, and the weight of guilt pressed down on him. He should have been there, should have prevented this. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been here sooner.”

Your hand found his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, savoring the warmth. His forehead touched yours, as he inhaled sharply to calm himself. It grounded him, a reminder that you were still here, still fighting.

"Osamu... I just want to go home. Please take me home..." The desperation in your voice tore at him. He gazed into your bloodshot, teary eyes, his chest tightening at how small and vulnerable you looked. It was a far cry from your usual commanding presence, and it shook him to his core. You gasped as more tears fell, "I can’t take this anymore."

"Of course. Of course, cara mia..." Osamu's mind raced, considering the implications. The guests couldn't see you like this - he knew how fiercely you guarded your image. And the staff... a cold realization settled over him. Despite your careful selection, he was now certain they were plants, watching your every move.

With slightly trembling hands, he fished out his phone. "I'll call Chūya... and Doc. You'll need to see Doc." He hated how rushed and unpolished his words sounded, so unlike his usual eloquence.

Your vigorous refusal caught him off guard; you shook your head and weakly pushed away from him. He watched, heart in his throat, as you tried to stand, only to pitch forward dangerously.

“Stop,” he scolded gently, your name a worried hiss on his lips. "You'll surely only hurt yourself further. Chūya will clear the club, but you need to see Doc."

As he cradled you against his shoulder, dialing the phone, Osamu felt the weight of responsibility settle heavily upon him. Your whispered words about them, The Flags, wanting you dead sent a chill down his spine, but he pushed the thought aside. Right now, getting you help was all that mattered.

When Albatross answered, Osamu steeled his voice, pushing down the worry that threatened to break through. "Albatross, I need you to go get Chūya and Doc. Bring them here immediately." As he spoke, he tightened his protective hold on you, silently vowing that no further harm would come to you on his watch.

"Course, Boss. We'll be back in five."

Osamu closed his phone with a soft click, his attention immediately falling back onto you. His hands, usually so steady and sure, trembled slightly as he pulled the maroon silk scarf from around his neck. “They broke your arm...” he muttered, his voice low and seething with barely contained rage.

With an attempted gentle precision, he wrapped the silk around your forearm, fashioning a makeshift sling. Each wince or groan you let out cut through him like a knife, and he found himself whispering "sorry" with every slight tug and pull. Osamu tried his best to be gentle, but his anger made his movements less fluid than usual. His mind raced with violent thoughts of retribution against Fyodor. If he had the time, if it fit into his plans, he would kill the man without hesitation. It was only your voice, weak but present, that pulled him back from the brink of that consuming rage.

"Why would you command them to help me? It just further cultivates that issue. I can't take back what I did to Piano Man, and they will always hold it against me."

His eye found yours as he reached up to tie a knot of silk behind your head. The warmth of your gaze steadied him somewhat. I would like to think... we've all grown since that day," he said softly, hoping his words held more truth than he feared.

You rolled your eyes and sighed heavily; the sound filled with a weariness that made Osamu's heart ache. He carefully maneuvered behind you, leaning back against the front of your desk. His hands, gentle but insistent, urged you to lean back, to rest against him as they awaited Albatross and the others.

He cradled you close, his arms forming a protective cage around you. The fear of losing you, of you slipping away from this world and leaving him behind, gnawed at the edges of his mind. Your head fell back upon his shoulder, and you looked up at him, your eyes capturing his in a moment of shared vulnerability.“I don't think Chūya's grown at all... especially height wise.”

Osamu felt you give a pitiful huff of a laugh, your lips curling into a weak smile. Despite the gravity of the situation, he couldn't help but feel a small spark of relief at your attempt at humor. It was so quintessentially you, finding levity even in the darkest moments. He allowed himself a small chuckle, the sound rumbling in his chest against your back.

"Perhaps not vertically, no. Though his ego has grown to compensate. It's a wonder he can still fit through doorways."

Osamu felt a warmth bloom in his chest as he heard you manage a weak laugh. The sound, though faint, stirred memories of happier times, of shared laughter and stolen moments before everything had fallen apart. His lips curved into a bittersweet smile, unseen by you but evident in the way his arms gently caged around you. He finally allowed himself to savor the feeling of you in his arms, finally returned to him, and despite everything, still able to laugh at his quips about Chūya.

🎹 𝒮𝑜𝓃, 𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒫𝓁𝒶𝓎 𝑀𝑒 𝒜 𝑀𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓎

Your head quickly bowed down as the slam of the double doors reverberated behind you, the sound adding to the tense atmosphere of Dazai's office. In your peripheral vision, you saw Lippmann jump slightly, his eyes squeezed shut and slightly puffy from what you assumed was a mix of stress and sorrow.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath that did little to calm your nerves. The scent of polished wood and old leather filled your nostrils, a familiar smell that now seemed tainted by the gravity of the situation. You knew nothing productive would come of this; it wasn't exactly your fault. However, if Dazai didn't take action, it would only solidify the views, the opinions, and the overall stance that The Flags and the Port Mafia held of you.

Dazai swiftly passed all six of you who stood before his desk, his coat billowing slightly with the rapid movement. The sound of his footsteps on the hardwood floor seemed unnaturally loud in the silence. Chūya was the first to break the oppressive quiet, his voice tight with tension, "Da—Boss, you have to know this wasn't our fault."

Your head shot up, eyes darting over to him, a mix of disbelief and anger flaring within you. "Why? Because you'd claim it was all me?" The words came out sharper than you intended, laced with bitterness.

Chūya's bi-colored eyes met yours, a challenge evident in his gaze. "Well, if you wanna admit to it?" His tone was equally caustic, the underlying tension between you palpable.

Your lips parted as you attempted to shoot back at him, but you were cut off by Dazai’s booming voice.

"Shut up! Both of you." Dazai's angry tone cut through the air like a whip, emanating from behind his desk. He was leaning over, hastily flipping through the report, his movements jerky with barely contained fury. The atmosphere in the room grew even heavier, if that was possible. It was clear that Dazai was beyond angry - this kind of infighting was unacceptable, something even Mori wouldn't have tolerated.

"I honestly don't care who started it," Dazai said, looking up from the papers, his single visible eye scanning the group before him. "I just want to understand what happened to cause this. I shouldn't be standing before the six of you with a member of The Flags, a member of the Mafia, dead within my building."

All of you stood in uncomfortable silence. For once, Albatross, usually quick with a quip or comment, was silent, seemingly at a loss for words. Doc kept his gaze fixed on the floor, anxiously pushing and pulling his IV drip beside him, the soft squeaking of its wheels the only sound in the room. Iceman, true to his taciturn nature, remained stoic and silent, having been merely a witness to the events that had unfolded.

"So?" Dazai's eye scanned all of you again, his gaze falling upon you last. You steeled yourself, looking back at him, unflinching. You could feel the pain emanating from him, see it in the way his eye closed momentarily, his head falling into a slight shake of disappointment.

Unsurprisingly to you, it was Lippmann who stepped forward, the movement causing you to roll your eyes. You knew him well enough to anticipate what was coming - some elaborate story crafted to soften the blow, to shift blame or minimize the severity of what had occurred. As he composed himself and opened his mouth to speak, you braced yourself for whatever tale he was about to spin.

"Boss," he began, his voice a perfect blend of concern and disappointment, "I'm afraid what we witnessed today was a grave lapse in judgment and control from our... esteemed colleague."

He gestured towards you with a subtle, dismissive wave. "Piano Man, while admittedly agitated, was merely expressing concerns shared by many within our ranks. His approach may have been… unorthodox, but his intentions were rooted in loyalty to the Port Mafia."

Lippmann's eyes darted to you briefly, and you furrowed your eyebrows causing him to refocus on Dazai. "Unfortunately, instead of de-escalating the situation as one might expect from a sub executive, Izanami here resorted to... extreme measures. Whether this was due to a lack of proper training, an inability to handle pressure, or perhaps," he paused meaningfully, "other motivations, I cannot say."

His voice lowered, taking on a conspiratorial tone. "It pains me to suggest this, Boss, but we must consider the possibility that this incident was not entirely accidental. The speed and finality with which Piano Man was dispatched raises... questions about intent and premeditation."

Lippmann straightened, his expression a mask of regret. "I fear this tragic event may be symptomatic of larger issues within our organization. Issues of favoritism, perhaps, or the granting of positions beyond one's capabilities. It's not my place to question your decisions, Boss, but for the sake of the Port Mafia, we must address these concerns."

Your eyes flashed with anger as you stepped forward, turning to face them all, ignoring Dazai's growing protests. "Is that how you would describe Piano Man's unprovoked attack on me? As 'expressing concerns'?" Your voice trembled with barely contained fury.

"As I've said countless times before, though I was born and raised in the Mafia, I still worked and earned my position. My role began long before Dazai stepped into his position as our boss."

You looked among the group, your gaze lingering on each face - men you once respected, now twisted by their silent misjudgment and apparent willingness to see you harmed.

"I will not apologize for defending myself against Piano Man, especially if this is how the five of you choose to twist events - painting me as some sort of liability or threat to be eliminated." Your voice rose, filled with indignation. "I have never once plotted against Dazai or the Port Mafia, nor will I ever. My loyalty to this organization goes far beyond the petty jealousy and baseless accusations you're throwing around."

Your eyes locked onto Lippmann, your words sharp and precise. "Your insinuations about 'favoritism' and questioning my capabilities are nothing but thinly veiled attempts to undermine my position. I've proven my worth time and time again, and I won't stand here and let you rewrite history to suit your narrative."

The room fell into an unbelievable silence, the air thick with tension. Even the usually persistent squeak of the IV pole's wheels had halted, as if the inanimate object itself was holding its breath. The lights dimmed dramatically, casting long shadows across the faces of those present, as your words hung heavy in the air.

As one, you all turned your attention to the screen that had silently lowered before the windows. The footage flickered to life, replaying the incident in the hallway with stark clarity.

There you were, walking purposefully down the corridor, your stride confident until the moment Piano Man and the other Flags called out to you. You watched yourself turn to meet them; your body language open, ready to converse. Yet, even through the silent playback, it was clear how quickly the conversation soured.

Piano Man circled you in the video, his movements predatory. As you watched, you relived the moment in your head, the echo of his insinuated insults ringing in your ears. His lips moved, forming words you could still hear clearly: accusations of your rapid rise through the ranks being due solely to your relationship with Dazai, claims that his love for you was a weakness.

The footage showed you lunging at Piano Man, your face contorted with rage at his comments. Immediately, all the men around you raised their weapons, causing you to freeze in place. You watched Piano Man's lips move again, hearing his taunting words from just hours before: "Let's see how fearsome you are, “great” Izanami."

Your gaze flickered away from the screen to Dazai. He was lounged back in his office chair, a cigarette dangling precariously from his fingers, its ash growing long and threatening to fall. You gritted your teeth, a mix of emotions swirling within you. How did you get here? Looking toward your lover for some form of help, even as you knew it would be considered unwise for him to play favorites. Yet, you could admit he always did. The easier jobs, the safer ones, always fell to you. He had ensured you were fully moved into the penthouse with him, safe from anyone who would attempt to harm you otherwise... well, in hindsight, you hadn't expected this.

Your attention reluctantly returned to the camera feed. You watched as Piano Man swiftly moved to wrap the piano wires around your throat, the thin metal glinting in the hallway light. A part of you wondered if he would have actually killed you, or if this was all some twisted hazing ritual to force you to stand down from your position. It didn't matter now.

The final moments played out on screen - you, standing before Piano Man, blood pouring from his eyes and ears. It seemed surreal, like watching an out-of-body experience.

"From what I can tell... she was provoked into attacking." Dazai's voice cut through the tense silence, startling everyone.

No one said a thing in response. The men only looked back at you, their gazes a mix of fear, disgust, and something akin to awe. To them, you were an unnatural anomaly that shouldn't have existed.

"I expect this to never happen again. Do I make myself clear?" Dazai's voice cut through the tension, stern and final. Yet Chūya, his face flushed with anger, still felt the need to avenge his fallen friend.

"That's it?" Chūya's voice was loud and rough, grating against your ears like sandpaper. "She gets no punishment?"

You scoffed, your patience wearing thin. "Here I was going to let this go, but what about you five getting punished? You all ganged up on me! Watched him and let it happen!" You took several purposeful strides toward Chūya, getting close enough to see the flecks of gold in his blue eye. "You are just as much of a guilty party as I am!"

"You privileged ass bitch; you better get out of my face!" Chūya's words were laced with venom, his body tensing as if ready to strike.

You puffed out your chest, outstretching your arms in a challenge. "Or what, Chūya? Gonna finish the job?!"

Before either of you could make another move, Dazai was between you, his movements so swift you hadn't even seen him leap from his seat. One hand gripped your wrist tightly, the other pressed firmly against Chūya's chest.

"This is done, now!" Dazai's voice was sharp, brooking no argument. You huffed as his grasp on your wrist tightened, a warning. His gaze scanned yours, which was still locked in a fierce staring match with Chūya. A guttural sound of frustration escaped Dazai's lips as he looked up at the remaining Flags. "Leave!"

They scurried out quickly, but you barely noticed. Chūya was all you could see, red clouding your vision like a bloody mist.

"You get off scot-free while my friend is dead! All 'cause you fuck the boss!" Chūya's words dripped with accusation and bitterness.

In a moment of blind rage, you spat in his face, mentally thankful for Dazai's unyielding grip on your wrist.

"I oughta kill you and get your misery over with!" Chūya snarled, his hand twitching towards his hat.

"Chūya!" Dazai's voice cracked like a whip as he pushed hard against his chest, forcing him back several feet.

"Why don't you then? Huh? You'd be doing me a big favor if I never have to deal with you again!" The words tore from your throat, raw and angry.

Dazai hissed your name, pulling you from Chūya's line of sight. You tore your arm away, huffing as you stormed over to the bookshelf, seeking some semblance of calm.

Your eyes darted over the book titles, desperately trying to settle your frayed nerves. Behind you, you could hear hushed murmuring interspersed with Chūya's occasional outbursts. You narrowed your eyes, attempting to stay focused on the shelves before you. Your fingers traced along the spines, the familiar texture of leather and cloth a small comfort.

Suddenly, your finger grazed a book spine that felt off - lighter, newer. Curiosity piqued, you tugged on the random book, one you wouldn't normally notice, and found it wasn't actually a full book, but a façade hiding something behind it. Leaning in, your nose brushed against the edge, inhaling the scent of old parchment. Your eyes widened as you spotted another book tucked behind the others, almost out of sight. Its stark white cover was a stark contrast to the darker tones surrounding it, with golden details catching the light just barely.

You turned back, seeing Chūya storming out of Dazai's office, his departure punctuated by the slam of the heavy doors. Quickly, you returned the shell book to its original position, your mind racing with questions about the hidden tome.

Dazai turned to you, sighing your name heavily as he began to walk over. "What a mess."

A thousand responses flitted through your mind: Wouldn't have happened if you didn't kill Mori. If you had only let me take the position I always told you I wanted. If… if… Maybe I should have left with Oda when I had the chance. But you kept every racing thought to yourself, only offering a noncommittal hum in response.

He stopped before you, his unbandaged eye looking weary and tired. With a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the earlier violence, he cupped your cheek, leaning down to press his forehead against yours.

"You did nothing wrong," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I'll let our maker decide that," you sighed, grasping his hand. "You need to stop coddling me. It's inadvertently led to this."

His breath fanned over your lips as he pressed them against yours. The kiss, once a source of comfort and passion, now felt tainted with bitterness. Yet, you returned it, your love for him still present, even if battered by recent events out of his control. This test of your relationship was something you hadn't anticipated, its ability to strain and potentially break your bond a sobering realization.

He frowned as he pulled away, still holding you close. "Only if you stop asking people to kill you."

You forced a smile, the expression not quite reaching your eyes. "The only way I'm going, amore mio, is if you're going with me."

previous part ~ next part | LBH masterlist | BSD Masterverse

Author Chat: I think after this part I might take a little bit off from writing, but trust: the next part, I'm excited for. It's just being a dog mom, nursing student, and person in general has drained me slightly and I want to give my all towards writing because I love it as an outlet.

Also, I want to mention, it hurt to write The Flags in this way, but with reader being ambitious while also having a romantic relationship with Dazai, I saw it as a reason that could anger some of the members, especially if Dazai dotted on the reader (which let's be honest: Beast! Dazai and Main Story Dazai would def do.)

If you liked, feel free to like and reblog! I always appreciate everyone who interacts! ᡣ𐭩 ~DamzelZelda

Song Inspos: Haunted- Chris Grey Dark Bloom- Amber Run Runaway- Aurora Piano Man- Billy Joel (Lyric Only)

Russian Word "Dictionary" (Curtesy of [unreliable] Google translate):

moya zhena: "my wife"

moya dorogaya zhena: "my dear wife"

moya lyubov': "my love"

moy dorogoy: "my dear"

ty chertov ublyudok: "you fucking bastard"

Eto tak: "Is that so?"

Moy malen'kaya mysh': "my little mouse"

moya samaya bol'shaya lyubov': "my greatest love"

moy angel smerti: "my angel of death"

[teruthecreator]

hehe i know im thinking pretty far ahead but, between mack and minerva, who would propose (first)?

i’ve had such a shitty day (4th of july is probably the worst holiday ever for lifeguards btw) i literally need to answer this ask just to filly myself w softness once more  

I think…hm. Well, I think they both make the decision to propose at relatively the same time. They haven’t been dating too long, but when you’ve got Minerva “Destiny And Fate Are Very Real Things I Trust And Believe In” Newton (yes she has duck���s last name it’s a whole thing fight me on this) and Mack “Impulse Issues Is My Middle Name” Megargel (also yeah…yeah that’s her last name. i just thought of it and it sounds so great so yeah mack’s full name is Mack Megargel. she probably has a middle name but that’s a different thought for a different day) it was only a matter of time before this was happening. 

Mack’s just sorta sitting with Minerva on her couch when she thinks of it, feeling so content and safe with someone and thinking about how it’d be pretty nice if this was her forever. She doesn’t say anything at the time, just cuddles closer to Minerva and presses a kiss under her chin. 

Minerva thinks of it during tech of a particularly challenging production. Mack got slammed with a bunch of copyright issues last minute, forcing her to change the show and completely re-cast the production in a matter of weeks. Mack’s sprinting down the aisle at full speed, launching herself up onto the stage before another poorly-built set piece falls to the floor and completely shatters. Minerva is already there as support–of course–but watching her beloved sprint down the aisle feels somehow poetic, and it occurs to her that the action is vaguely similar to scenes in “romantic comedies” her and Mack have watched. It takes a minute or so (long enough for Mack to swoop and save the day yet again Kirby which is why I told you to–) for Minerva’s brain to finally supply “wedding”, and when it does she drops all of the things she was holding (a hammer, some nails, and a few planks of wood) in her excitement. She manages to dismiss Mack’s concerned looks, and races back to Duck’s apartment as soon as she can to begin researching traditional Earthen weddings. 

Minerva is immediately thrilled about the idea of proposing to Mack. Like, listen, the girl knows her Girl. So she obviously understands Mack’s deep love for the Dramatique. And, in the weeks of research Minerva sets aside to plan her proposal, she understands that a public proposal would be just the right amount of Too Much for Mack to get a real kick out of it. Plus, she knows how much of a home Kepler has become to Mack, and also knows that if there’s any place in the entire world she would love to be proposed to at, it’s the safety and peace of her own theatre. So Minerva gets to some Serious Proposal Planning and somehow, in the process, recruits every single one of their shared friends. Duck is the first to know–because Minerva’s been using his computer for all her research and she has yet to understand how to blast her cache–but soon after that the whole Chosen Squad knows. They all brainstorm proposal ideas, but only one of them is married and Leo’s not that much of a pot of inspiration for proposal ideas. 

leo: Why dont’cha just ask? 

sarah, wayyyyy too into the idea of a dramatic proposal than she should be: Are you kidding me, Leo!? You can’t just ask! Did you just ask Arlo to marry you!? 

leo: Uh, yeah? 

sarah: 

leo: 

duck: 

minerva, too busy scribbling down notes: 

sarah: are you fucking kidding me– 

This leads to the squad getting some outside opinions (Indrid, Juno, and Thacker are suddenly invited to the “Minnie’s Proposal Plans” groupchat–which is a thing btw–and no one is surprised in the least by this development), but ultimately a lot of their ideas are duds too. Though, with the addition of Indrid, the cross-banter is cut down tremendously because he can just chime in immediately and be like “this idea is going to get us nowhere and make duck say some really dumb shit, but Juno’s been sitting on a decent idea for roughly ten minutes now so let’s give her the floor”. From these Powerful Minds, they are able to establish a setting and a time frame. Those being the theatre for setting (which Minerva was already thinking about) and “during busy season” for the time frame. The reason for choosing when Mack’s busiest is so she doesn’t notice the amount of running around Minerva will have to do in order to set everything up. But, since she can’t keep everything in the theatre, or in Duck’s apartment, they gotta let Ned in on the Big Plans so he can hide everything back in the Chicanery.  

Which is how Ned and Kirby get involved (neither of which is surprised by these developments in the slightest; Ned’s just a little peeved he wasn’t brought in sooner) and are tasked with the mission of recon: AKA, dropping vague questions about hypothetical proposals to Mack to see what she’d like. It works with relative success, as Mack admits in passing to Kirby how she wouldn’t mind a cheesy proposal (roses, candles, The Works, y’know) but what she’d really love is to be proposed to with song or “some overdramatic bullshit like that”. Ned gets way too excited about the prospects of turning this into one big musical number, and it takes a lot of group discussion before Ned backs off the idea (slightly). Minerva decides to blend the two ideas of cheese and drama to make something truly Her; a romantic declaration of her love whilst a bunch of cool shit happens around her. 

Said cool shit requires one very magical fire lady, who is also very sad she wasn’t brought in on this idea sooner, and pretty soon the entire Lodge is recruited in this whole display. There’s gonna be rose petals, spotlights, confetti cannons, live music (performed by Moira on piano, Barclay on guitar, and Duck on trombone), magic display, dance number. And it’s all gonna end with the piece de resistance: Minerva’s Speech. 

The speech takes the longest to do out of everything. They’re basically sitting on the entire number for almost a month as Minerva does try after try after try for this speech. How can she possible condense her endless adoration for Mack in just a few short sentences? How will she show to Mack that this is it for her--that there’s no one on this planet or any other planet that Minerva could ever love more than she does Mack? There simply aren’t enough words, let alone enough time. Finally, after a lot of fussing and rewrites, she ends up with something she likes. It isn’t perfect, but it’s hard to reach perfection when she’s already sleeping right beside Minerva on the couch. 

From there, they just...wait. It, luckily, doesn’t take too long for Mack’s season to kick into full swing (as Minerva’s speech took up most of Mack’s grace period), and then they just prepare the plan. 

Step One: Get Mack Out Of Theatre. Ned and Kirby manage to convince Mack to come with them on a thrift run so Ned can stock up on shit to turn into exhibits (and Mack needs some specialty props anyway so why not). Once she’s gone, initiate Step Two. 

Step Two: Hide Props In Kirby’s Office. Pretty easy task. 

Step Three: Wait (Some More) 

The original idea was that, after setting everything up inside the theatre, they would pull off the actual proposal the next day so as to not raise Mack’s suspicions. Minerva considers this an easy-enough idea, as she’s spent this long already hiding the proposal from Mack, what’s a few more hours gonna do? 

So it’s that night, and Mack and Minerva are sidled up on the couch together. They’ve just finished dinner (pizza, since Mack was out with Ned and Kirby so late) and are watching re-runs of Seinfeld when Mack leans up and kisses Minerva on the cheek. 

“Hey, honey?” Mack says. Minerva looks down at her and smiles. 

“Yes, my starlight?” 

“Do you wanna get married?” What. Wait. Hold on...what? Minerva is staring down at Mack now, who doesn’t fidget in the slightest. She just looks curious, like the way she does when she asks Minerva about her homeworld. 

“I-I, uh, I--” What the fuck is Minerva supposed to say?? Is this just a question or a proposition?? What is going on right now?? Mack smiles at Minerva. 

“You can say no, y’know.” She says, causing Minerva to splutter. 

“No, no!! I, uh, yes! Yes, Mack, of course I want to marry you!” Mack’s grin widens and suddenly Minerva can see the glee sparkling in her eyes. She rifles around her jean’s pocket and pulls out a jewelry box and--are you fucking kidding me this is real, huh, this is really real Mack’s done it she’s beaten her to the punch oh my god-- 

Mack pops open the ring box and Minerva just gapes at the ring inside. The ring itself is made of a brilliantly polished silver, the gem on it a very light blue with these speckles of almost gold in it cut into the shape of a diamond. There are two small moonstones framing the gem, one on each side, also cut into diamonds. Minerva’s eyes spring tears as she watches Mack carefully take out the ring and slip into onto Minerva’s ring finger (she’d been holding that hand the entire time, the bastard). Mack smiles and presses a kiss to her hand before looking back into her fiancees eyes. 

“Sick,” 

so uh, yeah, long story short: mack does it first

[thesecretlifeofmerribethc]

3.10-3.14.19

Yikes, realllllly slacking. Not in just updating my blog, but in my career stuff. Still proud of the small things though!

3.10.19 - Church! Service was good. It was short cuz dad had work but the message was good. After service I immediately sat down with tita Grace in the sanctuary and we just talked about marriage, relationships, and what tita Grace experienced at work this week (concerning visiting a friend of mine). Didn’t eat btw cuz we were so engrossed in talking. Ate some chicken and talked to tita connie for a little bit. Then I played with Rosita, Gabe and Mary Grace. After that we went homeee. Played Mario Party and still lost to Marvin lol Went to bed early lol But got to talk to dad on the phone from 12:40-1:00 am about cars before really shutting my eyes lol

3.11.19 - Happy Birthday Marvin!!! <33 Today, Marv turns 18 :’D Where did the time go? Woke up a bit late-ish. Didn’t get to greet Marv cuz he had school. Ate a light breakfast and then at around 3 got ready to pick up Marv and go to Leo’s. Manong couldn’t join us for dinner today because he had work and school. Anywho, mom, dad, manang and I picked up Marv and went straight to Leo’s on Telegraph near southland mall. Waited a bit in the parking lot for ne but then went inside to get a table. Sat down and maybe 10 minutes later Ne came. We ordered our food then ne told us that Toto was coming. Honestly I was so bummed when I heard that. Everyone was taken by surprised. She casually says, “Toto is coming. He’s on his way. He’s almost here” like it’s no big deal and proceeds to call him to ask for his order which takes like 6 minutes! Ends up ordering him a steak dinner. Anywho, it was just so awkward. No one was happy during the dinner, or at least manang, Marv and I. After Leo’s we went to the mall to walk it off and we just vented (Marv, manang and I) to each other at how disappointing that was. And also very rude. Like, Ne couldn’t have given us a heads up? And also, it’s Marvin’s birthday. He didn’t ask for him to come. Marv told us that that ruined the dinner. We all basically lost our appetites that day. Well whatever. Manang Marv and I didn’t buy anything at the mall other than some Froyo from Pinkberry. We also walked to Disc Replay but didn’t find anything. Went back to the car where dad was sleeping and about 20 minutes later mom comes and we leave (thank God). At home we took pics with Marvin, and then just sat around until Manong came home. Once manong came home we gave Marv his presents. He loved my toilet mug xD LOL He seemed a little disappointed at what he got (?) (Manang gave him Reese’s which was planned a long time ago when we bought it, but she bought Marv a game Capture that was on the hill so we couldn’t get it the day of), and manong got him Persona 5 on the PS4, and mom and dad got him $. lol After that I went to bed. Was so tired!

3.12.19 - Tuesday! Dad has work and everyone else lol. Got up and made dad’s shake, did some laundry, ironed dad’s uniform, and prepared dad’s lunch. Was gonna do the dishes but put them aside for later. Picked up Marv and manang then stopped by the hill so manang could get her gift that she ordered for Marv. Then went to Walmart in Woodhaven. Refilled the water jugs and got a few things but also picked up our online order for the other end of the bookshelf (since mom likes that as the TV stand rather than the IKEA one we got). Stopped by Ne’s to return some pots and pans but she didn’t answer her phone. Went home and I helped mom cut veggies for the pinakbet. Then I assebled the 2 box organizer and removed everything from the TV stand and bookshelf. After switching things up and then adding the legs on the IKEA stand, we decided (5 against 1) that the IKEA stand with the legs was wayyyyy better. Even Messenger video-chatted dad so he could see and tell mom not to complain xD LOL After that and putting the living room back the way it was, I washed dishes while mom watched SisterRakas or something with Vice Ganda and Ai Ai. Cooked rice then went to my room around 1 a.m. xP

3.13.19 - Wednesday. Gosh I’m typing these on Pi day (3.14) but I already can’t remember what I did yesterday O_O yikes....Ok, looking through my phone and I didn’t get up until 2:40 ish. Ate with the peeps, made dad’s shake and lunch, then drank some coffee while looking at cars with dad. Did some laundry and tidied a bit. Mom went to pick up manang and Marv. Cooked some eggs and hotdogs for the sibs once they got home as well as made salad. Oh also FB, Whatsapp and IG were down all day! Like you couldn’t refresh, post, like etc. Watched an Ai Ai movie with mom again (she becomes like the president of the Philippines lol) while manang and Marv were napping. Oh also manang gave marv her gift! He loved it! He just needs a better, faster computer now lol. Mom watched the sister Rakas movie again since she fell asleep last night. After that, took a little break, then watched “The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind” with mom, manang, and Marv and it was good! Ligo then bed!

3.14.19 - Woke up super early today! Like 7:25 lol Got ready and went with manong and Marv. Marv got dropped off to school and then manong drove us to Mcdonalds for breakfast. Had the breakfast burrito meals. Talked a bit and then made our way to the SOS at 8:50 and there was a line already outside (since it opens at 9). There were like 20 plus people in line. I was number 79 (I believe first number was 55). Didn’t take too long to get helped, but then I had to take the written test again xD Passed it tho! Then I had to go back in line. In all it took me 3 hours :P Manong also renewed his license to get the star! Apparently starting next year if your license doesn’t have the star yo won’t be able to board a plane O_O. Anywho, after the SOS I drove home. Btw I forgot to mention manong paid for the other half of my permit fee (it costs $25, I had $12.50 ❤️) I was pretty rusty but we made it. Once I got home I went to my room and tried to nap, but couldn’t until 1. Woke up at 2:45 ish and went downstairs. Mom and dad were in their rooms so I cooked myself egg and hotdog because i was starting to get cramps and needed to eat something before I can take the medicine. Did that, made dad’s shake, and then microwaved the heat bag since I was still hurting. Sat on the couch with a blanket and watched some youtube videos. Felt good after 15 minutes sitting on the couch. Mom and I then picked up Marv. Oh btw, I didn’t mention. Todays weather was so nice! Close to 60 degrees! But it was rainy though. Still nice. Tomorrow’s gonna be cold again :P. Anywho got Marv then got manang. Went to the Target on Ford Road cuz there was just traffic everywhere. Returned the letter “G” craft thing, bought popcorn then the 3 of us just sat at the cafe waiting for mom. I ordered a venti cloud iced caramel macchiato and it was good! A lot of foam though. The guy who made it was so nice to me. I asked him how his day’s been and he said “it’s good! How about yours?” and I said it was good, especially because of the weather. Then he asked for my name and I said Mary and he was like, “nice to meet you Mary” and I said “Nice to meet you too!” I shouldve asked his name SMH i’m a failure :(( Anyway after target we stopped by the Indian store then home. At home i added more fruit to the shake I saved for mom and drank that. Then I watched Nailed it - Mexico with manang and mom. After that we watched the musical parts from Hairspray. Then I ate corn beef and rice, with a boiled egg. After preparing mom’s stuff for the mango pie, I went to my room and ended up taking a nap lol. Woke up, washed my face and brushed my teeth, then tidied up my room. Now it’s 12:41 a.m. Have a dentist appointment tomorrow! Hope it doesn’t take long.

Life, I’m lovin’ it,

Bebet

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 2 RECAP: “Gua Bao?” More like “Gua BOMB.”

So I have come to realize that during the weeks, my blog posts about my classes are going to be pretty repetitive. So to save you the few minutes of your life you’ll spend reading, I’ll just shorten it a bit...and skip to the food. We always do the same things in class. We take quizzes, read the text book, practice writing characters, and talk alot about a wide array of topics... (we actually get off topic alot... In one of the classes this week I ended up playing the song “Mr. Roboto” on my iphone because I made a reference about it... we have a new classmate and he’s from Japan and everyone wanted to hear the “Domo Arigato” part... ugh.. it’s a long story.)

Anyway, let’s start from Tuesday I suppose:

So in class we had another one of those written dialogue quizzes, I got an A ((of course HEH)) and on the test from last week, I got a 94%! Feelin’ good. In the gym it was leg day, and I’m starting to incorporate more cardio daily, so I’ve been running on the treadmill at the end of my workouts. I want to drop weight and tone up while I’m out here so I figured this will help give me the extra kick that I need. I ran a mile in 7 minutes and 30 seconds... Or so I thought. I was super happy about the amount of time it took and how it didn’t even feel hard and how my knee actually wasn’t hurting for once in my life. BUT, I soon realized that I am a headass. I didn’t realize until later in the week that everything here is in kilometers, not miles. Meaning, that I didn’t actually run a mile in 7 minutes and 30 seconds, I ran 1 kilometer. Which is less than a mile... it’s actually 0.62 miles to be exact. What A BUZZ KILL!!!! I was on this “high” the whole rest of the day because I thought I was really wrecking shit, but really I’m just an idiot. A slow running idiot. lol. 

For dinner Bunny and I went to this popular joint that she had heard about from a friend. I actually have heard of this place too, but didn’t realize it until after we had arrived and ordered our food. We went to this small hole-in-the-wall restaurant in the Gongguan night market where they serve the “Traditional Taiwanese Snack.” It’s called “Gua Bao.” It’s basically a pulled pork hamburger with veggies, pickles, grated peanuts in a peanut sauce, and cilantro... all in a steamed bun... you hold it and eat it like a hamburger, and it’s delicious!! It was only 55 NT (about $1.80 US). You could choose between lean meat, fatty meat, or a mix of the two. I went with the lean meat, and I’m glad that I did. The restaurant also offered an array of soups, but a lot of them featured pork intestines, and that's not really my type of party. 

Wednesday:

I did back day at the gym today and ran another “mile”... SMH. That still gets me man. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

For lunch, Jeannie, Bunny and I went to this potsticker place right across the street from campus. We’ve been there before and it was really good the first time, with each potsticker being 5 NT! (or about 17 cents). We each ordered 10 potstickers and a bowl of warm noodles, totalling to only 90 NT ($3 US). I chose 5 curry potstickers and 5 garden vegetable. The Curry flavored potstickers were by far the best potstickers I’ve had since I’ve been here (and that’s saying something). And for dinner, Bunny and I went BACK to the Gua Bao place (it was that good) but this time brought Nick along! We had a good time.

Thursday:

I had another dictation quiz and got another low A. Today was leg day yet again. Starting to see a pattern here? I’m proud to say that I’ve kept the routine/schedule that I talked about in my recap blog post from last week..

For our post-gym lunch, Bunny, Jeannie and I went to this Soy Sauce-Braised place. I can’t remember the name. *eyeroll*. But basically it’s a food stand on the street market by our university, and they lay out all the meats, and veggies and noodles on display, and you choose which ones you want, and they mix them all together and cook them in this super hot soy sauce soup... It’s pretty good. I was super excited about this food stand because they actually had VEGETABLES!!! You know how often I see vegetables here in Taiwan??? Never. I don’t think I’ve had a vegetarian semi-healthy meal since I’ve been here. And I’ve looked!!!!! Anyway, for my dish, I chose tofu, broccoli, cabbage, mushrooms, and udon noodles. I paid about $7.50 US which is a bit steeper than my usual meal, but I think that’s because I doubled up on the tofu. (hehe). Either way though that’s still what I spend on average at Cane’s back in the US, and it’s wayyyyy more food. I do have to say that I went a bit over the top. My food was a MOUNTAIN!!!! We also bought this watermelon slush drink to share that came in an actual watermelon! Presentation get’s an A+, and it was pretty refreshing. 

After we ate we went to this store called “Jin Xin Fa” and bought tons of stationary (everything here is so cute and I desperately wanted to buy some cute planners for the upcoming school year). I also bought an extra long ethernet cord so that I could use my laptop in bed and have better internet, as well as a new phone charger... 

For dinner I ended up cooking (reheating) left over lunch... but I made rice and added scrambled egg to it... As it turns out, my $7.50 lunch fed me and Bunny for dinner. As I mentioned in my blog post about my dorm a few weeks ago, we have a small kitchen area at the end of the hall. Bunny and I wanted to use the rice cooker, and we struggled at first. We had to put water between the bowl where the rice goes and the outer bowl?? Strange. Either way thought the rice came out perfectly. Bomb.com.

Friday: 

For lunch, the three of us tried this Malaysian Curry place on the street market. It was on the second floor, and the interior looked like someone's home at first... My dish was 100 NT ( around 3-4$), and I ordered the Malaysian chicken curry and rice. It’s basically a filleted chicken cutlet fried in batter and served with a mound of rice, both covered in curry. And topped with potato wedges... THIS PLACE WAS SUPER GOOD I WILL BE BACK EVERY WEEK OH MY GOD. There is only one lady who works here, and she cooks all the dishes. I also think she lives here...? Not so sure. We spoke to her a bit after finishing our food, and she told us how 22 years ago she came to Taiwan, and she asked us where we're from and told us she's been to both Florida and New York before. She also showed us pictures of her 8 month old grandson who lives in Florida. Her daughter was born in Malaysia and currently lives in America as she's married to an American guy. She was the sweetest lady ever, gushing about her grandson and showing us all these videos. Such a lovely lady.

After lunch we did some shopping in the street market (clothing), I bought a shirt... and not much else because everything looked so small. When shopping one lady didn't let Jeannie use the dressing room to try on this outfit.... it seemed odd, and the lady didn’t seem to have a reason to not let her use the dressing room which was clearly there with the open curtain and no one inside. I think the lady who worked there was just a bitch. She was rude, and possibly racist?? I can’t tell you how many times I would walk into a shop (during the hour or so that we were walking around) and the ladies who work there would hover over me constantly. *eyeroll*. Figures.

We went home and I took a shower and relaxed before heading to Shilin Night market. I’ve been here before and posted a video, but in case you all forgot, it’s the biggest night market in Taipei and is pretty poppin on the weekends. Jeannie and I love to shop, so we had a ball!! Four of us went, it was Ada, Jeannie, Bunny and I. We spent a few hours shopping and walking around and eating the street food. I ate this pork bun sandwich, some French fries with a bunch of sauces on them (like mustard sauce, salt, pepper, etc), and tried the popular chicken fried steak. 

squid on a stick^

We stayed at Shilin a few hours before parting ways... Jeannie and I went to meet up with some others at a bar and Bunny and Ada went home. This is around maybe 11:15pm... Jeannie and I met up with Nick at this open patio bar/hookah lounge. It was $20 (US) all you can drink. The bar was called K House and was located smack dab in the middle of the gay district off of Ximen station. Ximen station is also a very popular shopping area for the younger crowd, with a 5 story H&M and other popular stores. It took a while for Jeannie and I to find the bar, we put it in google maps and it took us to a completely different location. By the time we found it a lot of the people we were meeting up with were loose off the goose. Which makes sense since it was all you can drink and they'd been there a few hours already. We left the bar around 1, and headed to 7/11 and walked around town a bit after that. I was pretty lit. I slammed about 5 drinks in 30 minutes and was just chillen after that. I had two jack/cokes, 1 vodka/sprite, and 3 peach flavored drinks but I don't know what alcohol was in those..?? They were super good though!! My favorite, definitely. We were walking to another bar when I got super tired and decided to take an Uber home with Jeannie and another guy we met that night, his name is Collin. Collin goes to school at Carnegie Melon *ooooooooo snap*. I got into my dorm around 2:30-3am, and went to bed around 3:30. When Jeannie and I were walking with the group, Collin was telling us about how he had plans to go snorkeling the next day and he invited us to join the group on Facebook. I knocked out after showering when I got home, since I had to be up by 7:15 to make it to the meeting spot at 8am to go snorkel. I was exhAUSTED. Snorkeling should be worth the lack of sleep though.

[la-appel-du-vide]

THAILAND 2019 - Day Fourteen {Krabi}

After a lot of soul searching the night before (hahaha), we finally decided that today would be a super relaxing beach/spa day. Spas in Thailand are WAYYYYY cheaper than ours back at home, so we thought it would be a good opportunity to go all out and really pamper ourselves. (;

We tried to book a time, but hadn’t heard anything back from them, so we figured we’d just head down there and see if they had any openings. We got a taxi, and though he had to ask some people for help along the way, he eventually got us there. They said we could come back at one, which was only two hours from then, and we got to pick our package. We went with a coconut body scrub, aromatherapy massages, and a facial.

Since we had time to kill, we decided to go get some food. We’d seen a more touristy area just down the street, but it ended up taking us wayyyy longer to get there than we thought it would. Once again, we were melting haha. We ate breakfast, hung out in the air conditioning, and then the time came to head back.

This time, we knew better than to walk, so we caught a tuk-tuk to take us up the street for super cheap. It was a wise choice.

When we walked in, we were first given a foot bath near the door. Then they took us back into a beautiful room with soothing music playing, and asked us to undress and put on their packaged underwear, at least that’s what we thought they said. They were very difficult to understand haha. We got ready, and laid on the table, and then they came back in to get started.

First was the coconut body scrub. It felt really good, but it was the most intimate massage we’ve ever had. At home, masseuses are usually really careful to keep you covered up, but here? Not even at all hahaha. We were super caught off guard when they just ripped the sheets right off of, pulled the underwear every which way they wanted, and literally scrubbed our entire bodies. Awkkkkward.

After the scrub, we had to shower to rinse it all off. Then we went back to the massage table for the aromatherapy massage. Apparently, this part about killed Beach haha. I guess the lady pushed way too hard, and Beach hated laying the hard table for so long because it killed her back.

I thought it felt really good, except to my calves which were so so sore from our mountaineering yesterday. Those hurt. Again, a bit awkward, but at least we knew what to expect this time. Although, they did throw another curve-ball at us when they started climbing on top of us on all fours. I’m not sure what that was supposed to do for us, but it definitely happened, hahaha okkkkk.

Then they did our facial treatment, and I really have no idea what it was or what they did. I just had many layers of things put on my face and then washed off shortly after. Then they let us sit there with whatever on our faces for awhile, before they came back to finish up. They rinsed our faces, did a short head massage, and then sat us up and started hitting us in the back, which was super weird, but whatever haha. And then they did their cute little bow and headed out. It wasn’t exactly what we’d expected, but it was pretty nice still.

We got redressed, paid them, and filled out a short survey before heading on our way. We caught another tuk-tuk to take us down to the Ao Nang beach area, and this is where things started to get really bad for me. My stomach started to really bother me, and I was hating it. Beach wanted to go get a smoothie, so I walked with her up to find the one she was looking for, but I couldn’t stand the thought of drinking one. She purchased it, and we made the long walk back down to the beach, and I immediately threw my towel down and just laid there, hoping it would help to be off my feet. Beach went and got me a water and a soft serve ice cream cone, which I tried to eat, but all that happened was it induced immediate vomiting. I made a run for the sandy area that ran along the wall of the beach to try and get a little privacy from everyone around. I’m not sure it was that private, but maybe it was a little better. I threw up everything I’d eaten that day, and it just kept coming. No fun. I buried it in the sand, and had to go throw myself in the ocean to rinse off. So gross. I must have eaten something bad, because my problems didn’t end there.

I came back to lay on my towel again, but I didn’t feel that much better. I laid there for about an hour before the feeling came back, so I ran down to the ocean and threw up there this time. I’m just so luckyyyyy. It was awkward because there were people swimming in the area next to me, and I felt bd, but what can you do…

This time, throwing up made me feel better. My stomach was calmer, and I thought I’d gotten rid of whatever the problem was. From there, we spent the next hour enjoying the absolutely gorgeous sunset over the sea. It was a pretty surreal moment.

Finally, we packed up all our stuff to go home, but I realized Beach hadn’t hardly eaten anything all day, so we went into a nearby restaurant to get some food. I thought I’d play it safe by ordering a Sprite and a salad, and that I’d just take it slow. Everything tasted good, and I thought everything was ok, until it wasn’t. I get the feeling 0-100, and there is almost no time to react before it’s too late. I stood up and made a run for the restaurant entrance, throwing up in my hands on the way. I made it outside, and threw up o the sidewalk before making it to a grassy area. This was the worst time by far. There were SO many people watching me, some of them trying to eat dinner in that restaurant. Ugh, so embarrassing and I felt terrible, but again… not much I could do about it. I went back down to the ocean, to rinse off once again. What a day.

I went back to the restaurant to find Beach, and she’d had the good sense to get mine put in a to-go box. We left there, and got a taxi home. The poor employees were trying to clean their sidewalk, and the guilt was real. I didn’t feel good on the way home either, and once we got there, I threw myself on the bed for awhile. I finally got up the energy to shower, but mostly I just sat on the floor holding the shower head close, and I’d throw up every few minutes. It was so bad. This is probably the sickest I’ve been on vacation.

I tried to take some Pepto-Bismol, but that didn’t last either. We lounged in bed and played some SkipBo, before a long night of being up sick in the bathroom. I finally got to sleep around 4 AM, so it was a good thing our day the next day didn’t start until a noon pick-up time.

[dwarveslikeshinythings]

Guys i saw beauty and the beast last night...

and i just... 

was kind of... baffled (?) by some of the choices? 

caution: spoilers/controversial opinions/randomy thought-vomity thoughts under the cut. I didn’t hate it as much as this makes it sound... I promise! 

*This got WAY too long, so I’m breaking it into sections. I’m so sorry to anyone that actually bothers to read this. It’s honestly just a reactionary stream of consciousness, for the most part. 

THE ACTING 

To set this up/disclaim: I adore Emma Watson as a human being. She is absolutely lovely, she IS and will always be Hermione Granger, and I’ve liked her in most of her other projects. That said, I found her COMPLETELY flat in this movie acting-wise (and don’t worry, I’ll get to her singing). I don’t think that Emma by nature is what I would describe as “feisty;” there’s a classy, sophisticated, “prim and proper-ness” to her that definitely has it’s place... but just not here. 

Belle needs to be fiery, empowered, passionate, and she just has to EXUDE that in everything she says or does. I think they did a lot in the script to empower Belle through the dialogue she was given, but Emma just doesn’t exude those things naturally with her acting, which I think is where the disconnect ultimately came from. 

So unfortunately, I was worried this would be a case of miscasting from the beginning, and I was sadly proven right. She looked absolutely stunning, but I personally never felt like I connected with Emma’s Belle, which KILLED me, because like so many other people that grew up with the movie, Belle was the character that no matter where I was in life, I always gravitated toward. 

Honestly, I just felt like I got more genuine emotion from 2 minutes of Human!Dan Stevens as the prince there at the end than I did from Emma the entire film.

THE SCRIPT 

I wouldn’t have thought this would be possible, given that the animated film script is pitch-perfect and even the Broadway show manages to be good (despite some completely worthless additions), but the script for this film was actually pretty bad. I’d give it 3.5/10. The pacing through the whole thing was... off, somehow. The relationship development between Belle and the Beast felt off-balance to me, and there were several scenes that I genuinely sat there going “well that was rushed.” (*cough* LIBRARY SCENE *cough*) 

Specifically: 

Why on EARTH would they have given the “I’ll show you to your room” scene to anyone BUT the Beast. It’s like, the entire tee-up to the Belle x Beast relationship???!? 

Also, they BOTCHED the whole “join me for dinner” bit, BECAUSE they gave the “i’ll show you to your room” scene to the objects. 

I was not a HUGE fan of the one-line backstory they gave the beast, something about “his father turned him into a monster” or something to that effect. To me, that “woobifies” the character in a way I’m not a fan of...  I always liked the Beast because it seemed to me that he had CHOSEN to be a bad person, he got his comeuppance when he was cursed, and he consciously had to decide to change his heart in order to break the spell. It took something away from the Belle x Beast arc to insert someone else in there to tell her “oh, he’s this way because X,” and for that to serve as a catalyst for her feelings softening.

Also, the whole Paris bit was super extra, and to me, a sign that the writers were like “oh crap, we haven’t done enough to build up Belle and the Beast, so uh, here, let’s have them bond over sadness.” Like... meh? (Sidebar: if you’re GONNA do the Paris thing and you’re GONNA have HUGE SHOT OF NOTRE DAME SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING, I EXPECT A “HUNCHBACK” EASTER EGG. C’MON, DISNEY!) 

Shifting gears, NGL, I missed Gaston’s ill-attempted “wooing” scene at the beginning of the movie. It almost seemed to me like they were intentionally trying to excise some of the blatant misogny from his character... but... like... he’s SUPPOSED to be the biggest fuckboi in town... he’s supposed to be the character that you really hate. He should be narcissistic, mysogynistic and generally disgusting. I remember even being a kid being thoroughly disgusted by Gaston, and feeling like he really got what he deserved when Belle chucked him out into the mud. And I just... didn’t get that from this film. I mean, he became hateable later with what he did to Maurice, but there was a lot missing from the propsal/rejection scene for me. (Also I would have DIED to hear Luke Evans sing “ME” from the Broadway show.)

ANOTHER THING: not enough of the Gaston fangirls! They could have had SUCH FUN with Lefou and the girls all mooning over Gaston... not a huge deal, just a missed character/comedy opportunity, IMO. 

OTHER MISSING CHARACTERS: WHERE TF WAS MONSIEUR D’ARQUE?!? He was positively creeptacular in the original/stage version, plus YOU CAST ADRIAN FUCKING SCHILLER, WHY WOULD YOU NOT USE HIM!?!? My boy got seriously shortchanged. 

Also, how TF did Belle manage to pull off that full costume change while galloping away on a horse??? 

Final random casting thing: the village library guy was pretty young and hot (not at all like the old guy from the movie). If I was Belle, I’d have been all over that! :P

THE MUSIC: 

OKAY SO THE MUSIC: 

First thing’s first: HOLLYWOOD. IF YOU’RE GOING TO CONTINUE RE-MAKING EVERY MUSICAL UNDER THE SUN AND INSIST ON CASTING ACTORS WHO CANNOT SING, WE HAVE GOT TO RE-EMBRACE THE CONCEPT OF DUBBING. BRING BACK THE MARNI NIXONS OF THE WORLD AND LET THEM SING. AUDREY HEPBURN WAS DUBBED. NATALIE WOOD WAS DUBBED. THIS DID NOT DETRACT FROM THE FACT THAT THEY WERE INCREDIBLE ACTRESSES. DUBBING IS AN ACCEPTABLE PRACTICE. LET’S BRING IT BACK. 

Seriously, I am so BEYOND done watching actors that cannot sing BUTCHER great scores. Emma was so autotuned, it was honestly cringeworthy-- wayyyyy too saccharine, way too overproduced. 

That said, Audra MacDonald was a VISION, as always, Josh Gad consistently impresses me as a vocalist/overall performer (and his upper register), Luke Evans was pitch-perfect and Emma Thompson’s rendition of “Beauty and the Beast” was absolutely everything it needed to be. Even Dan Stevens showed up with some vocal chops, but that brings me to another thing... 

COULD WE HAVE NOT JUST HAD HIM SING “IF I CAN’T LOVE HER” INSTEAD OF WHATEVER GODAWFUL POWER-BALLAD SOMEONE DECIDED WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO WRITE. 

Seriously... I had SUCH HIGH HOPES that they would at least carry over the Beast’s songs from the Broadway show, because of all the songs they added into the stage adaptation, I thought those added the most to the story and gave some much needed dimension to the Beast’s character, with some introspective moments that were missing from the original film. 

Instead (I’m assuming for the purpose of making people buy the new soundtrack), they wrote an utterly CRINGEWORTHY song that was musically cheap and lyrically terrible. I am getting so tired of saying this EVERY TIME a new movie musical adaptation comes out, but producers keep doing it and it irks me. So here (for the umpteenth time) is a PRO-TIP: When you have SO MUCH fantastic source material ALREADY out there, JUST USE IT. DON’T WRITE NEW STUFF. JUST USE WHAT’S ALREADY THERE. 

So in the meantime, I’ll just be over here cry/yelling in frustration about never getting to hear Dan Stevens sing “LET THE WORLD BE DONE WITH MEEEEEEEE!” 

They also lost WAY too much of the original scoring in favor of scoring that was just, well... BLAH. Really missed the original scoring during the scene in the West Wing when Belle finds the rose, in particular. [ALSO... they somehow managed to take like... ALL of the dramatic tension/sense of danger out of that scene. I don’t understand how that was possible, but they did it.]

HOWEVER, I was delightfully surprised to hear “Home” backing a few scenes throughout... I do like that song from the Broadway show, and while I had no desire whatsoever to hear Emma sing it, I’m happy that musical moment made it in somehow. 

FINALLY, whatever GOD-AWFUL song they had Celine Dion sing at the end just needs to never be heard by human ears again. But Ariana Grande and John Legend sounded pretty good. 

LAST THOUGHTS: 

Would never have thought I’d be attracted to Dan Stevens all dolled up in ostentatious French facepaint, but whoops, I was wrong. 

Shoutout to Hattie Morahan for being delightfully creepy and gorgeous as the Enchantress (also, SENSE AND SENSIBILITY FEELS with Edward/Elinor in the same frame!) 

To sum it up, though: Stanley Tucci remains one of my favorite things on God’s green earth, and I just want to be Emma Thompson when I grow up. 

[victakestaipei]

Hi I’m Vic, and I’m drunk off Taiwanese beer

After a long morning of soaking in the hot springs and visiting temples, I came home pretty early in the evening to relax a bit before dinner. While I was out, Yogee messaged me and asked if I wanted to join him and another guest for dinner tonight...

Yogee has two rooms in his apartment that he rents using airbnb, I am in one, and today a new person checked into the vacant room.. His name is Hao and he’s from Beijing. He’s 25 years old, but definitely looks like he’s 18... Then again, I can never tell the age of the people here, they all look so young!!! Maybe it’s the humidity, who knows???

For dinner we went to a small authentic restaurant in the neighborhood. Yogee said it’s one of his favorites and the seafood is very very good.  It was hard for me to read the menu/ordering sheet, so Yogee and Hao did most of the ordering, but they ran all the dishes by me to make sure I was okay with eating everything. 

We ordered about 4-5 dishes, and shared them amongst the three of us. I love that all of the food here is shareable, it makes dinner and every meal all the more fun!

The first thing I tried was the rice noodles, pictured below. They had shrimp and vegetables with the noodles, and were very very good. Since the noodles are thin, it was a very light dish to start. 

After that came the oyster dish. I was a bit weary about this dish at first because I’m not a fan of slurping raw oysters, which is what my mind immediately thought of when Yogee said “oysters.” All I could see was Terry Crews from White Chicks slurping them down and talking about how they’re an aphrodisiac...

But, the oyster dish proved to be very very good. The oysters were fried and paired with tofu, green onions, and alot of spices. I accidentally bit into the red pepper (pictured below), and my eyes immediately started to water. Not fun. But I definitely loved this dish and would order it again!

The next dish we had was a tofu dish. Delicious. I paired this dish with rice and it was definitely a favorite for the night! The dish consisted of tofu, green onions, corn, peas, and some other stuff. A++.

The last thing we ordered was the beef and vegetable dish. This was the restaurant’s most popular dish. The beef was super moist and melty and seasoned perfectly. I really enjoyed this one. 

Hao also ordered a clam soup, which I tried a bit of, and it wasn’t as “clammy” as I thought it would taste. It was super fresh and light, definitely a great way to end the meal. I don’t have a picture but I wish I did :( Sorry folks.

Last but not least is the star of the show, the Taiwanese beer. 

The beer bottles here are a bit bigger than those in America, but we bought one with our dinner and shared it in those small glasses (pictured above) amongst the three of us. We each got about two glasses worth, totalling to about 6-7 glasses per bottle. The Taiwan beer tastes WAYYYYY BETTER than the beer I’ve had in America. And no I don’t consider myself an avid beer drinker, nor have I tried a wide range of beers, but from what I have tasted being in college, this Taiwan beer is by far the best beer I’ve ever had. It doesn’t make me cringe when I drink it, and it doesn’t make my stomach feel super heavy.

But that’s not where the drinking tale ends... 

After dinner on our way home, we stopped at the pharmacy so I could buy some ibuprofen (I’m starting my period this week) and some bug repellant (I have mosquito bites all over my legs)... The bottle of beer that we had at dinner is Yogee’s favorite brand, however he prefers the draft version which you can buy in the convenience store or supermarket, and only lasts 18 days. 

Yogee insisted we try it when we got home, so Yogee sent Hao and I on our way to the house while Yogee stopped at a few stores to look for the draft version and bring it home. The draft version of this Taiwan Beer is very popular, and is often sold out, so Yogee didn’t want to drag us around to the different stores while he hunts it down.

When I got home I took a shower, and after I got out, Yogee had just arrived, beer in hand. We sat around his kitchen table and he poured us all a glass.

Yogee also says that you MUST eat fried food with your beer, it’s the best... so along with the beer in hand, he also picked up some fried chicken from a popular joint on his way home. The fried chicken was more like popcorn chicken, but it was FIRE. Shmackable. Super super good. It’s pictured above in the bowl, and paired with basil (I believe). 

Yogee poured our glasses, and then another and then another. Hao, the other guest, had also brought Yogee a bottle of beer as a gift for letting him stay in his home for these next few days. So we opened up that bottle of beer and shared that one too.

After about 6-8 glasses or so, I am drunk. We are laughing and talking about everything from salsa dancing, to Obama’s honey beer that they brewed in the White House a few years back. We laughed alot and drank alot and had a jolly good time, just sitting at the kitchen table. 

For my last two glasses of the Taiwan beer (the green bottle), I paired it with sliced lime... definitely my favorite. I got pretty sleepy after a while and called it a night around 11:30pm (I know, super early) and went to bed probably around 1am. It was such a great way to end the day!

**side note: when the three of us were talking about salsa dancing, Yogee mentioned how tuesday night is salsa night at the local bar... long story short I’ll be tagging along with him tomorrow, so I’ll let you know how all that goes!!! Hehe

xoxo