#or wtvr help idk the expression
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sometimes you read a great piece of fiction with complex characters and then BOOM!
character assassination
#jeremiah wtvr tf his last name is#the summer i turned pretty#tsitp#idk anything about leage of legends as a game so this could be completely off but#silco#like if u didn’t add the fucking creepy ass stuff that tbh came out of left field we could’ve really had something there#also#a lot of fic writers#no hate#just fax#all fax no printer#or wtvr help idk the expression
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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i heard you were looking for something specific so uhm !! maybe tom nsfw alphabet? sorry i am in love with that man 😞
Sigh too real I’m afraid
⋆ ✶ ✷ 𝔗𝔬𝔪 𝔑𝔖𝔉𝔚 𝔞𝔩𝔭𝔥𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔱 ✷ ✶ ⋆
Reader is left ambiguous!
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Once Tom is done with you he’s very caring. He’s quite rough in the bedroom so he asks if you’re okay and gets you water and stuff. If you complain about him going too hard then he makes sure to be extra careful the next time.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
Between the options of boobs, ass, or thighs he is 100% an ass/thighs kind of man. He likes to smack and squeeze
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Tom prefers to cum on one of your body parts rather than inside you, preferably your ass/thighs or back. He just likes seeing it coat your skin. If you’re giving him a blowjob he loves to pull out as he’s cumming and cum on your tongue specifically
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He fucks you in his monster form. I mean COME ONNN. When in his monster form he’s way rougher than usual. Any form or romanticism is gone for the most part and he’s just rough as fuck. Once he’s done though he’ll make sure to kiss you and hold you, making sure you know how much you mean to him.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Had a bit of experience before you. He obviously isn’t some kind of sex god but he’s done it and thought about it a lot so he’s pretty good at it
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
If he’s dominant, he is obsessed with doggy. It’s either that or pinning you against the wall. If he’s submissive though he’s a sucker for cowgirl. He will melt into the mattress and pass away
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
During foreplay he might make a joke or two but after that my man is STONE COLD SERIOUS. he does NOT play 💀
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Probably either trimmed down or shaved. Idk I don’t like thinking about fictional men’s ball hair
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
He can get very romantic and sensual or very rough and hard. It depends on how he’s feeling and what kind of day he’s had
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
If you’re readily available then he’ll just go to you for help. However, if you’re away he’ll think about/text you. He’ll ask for a nude or something and go nuts.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I feel like I’ve written this ten times already but WTVR. He loves seeing all the marks he’s left on you. Bite marks, red spots in the shape of his hand from spanking, scratches. He loves the reminder that you and him are exclusive. He’d also dabble in tying you up if he’s really feeling freaky.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
He loves doing it in random places. He prefers the bedroom or against a wall, but would try other places with some coaxing
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Lingerie. Specifically anything in a dark blue or black. Also, things with fishnets or sheer elements. When he’s a sub, he adores getting marked up with bites and hickeys.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I don’t like putting much for this section bc I like leaving my headcannons up for interpretation, but he would NOT enjoy anything like piss or daddy kinks. He also hates it when you wear red lingerie for obvious reasons
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes giving and receiving oral as a pregame or an ender of sorts. Although, some days he really just needs head to decompress
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He likes to go very rough but very slow. He likes to be able to drink in your noises and facial expressions and bask in all his emotions. By the end when he’s getting close though he gets very fast and rough. He loves seeing your legs a bit wobbly the next day
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickie champion 💪 as soon as you even hint to one he’s on board
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
Very open to risks and experiments. He loves finding out new ways to bring you pleasure
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He’d probably go for at least two rounds, his max changes from day to day but if you want more he’ll use his mouth or his hands or some kind of toy until you’re satisfied
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Other than a vibrator or two he’s not very into toys. He prefers to make you feel good himself.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
He might tease you a few times, but as stated earlier he’d be pretty serious during the act
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Tom isn’t much of a moaner, but he groans and growls often. He also doesn’t get very loud. When he’s submissive, he can let out a few whines too.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Very rough, yet very romantic. He smacks, bites, and tugs very hard. But he’ll also make out with you sensually and run his hands down your body.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
7.1 inches, pretty veiny and tilts slightly up. He’s slightly hairy. As for body type, tom is slightly taller than average and bulky. Not muscular but slightly chubby, and very strong.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Tom would want intercourse at least once or twice a week. Not sure what else to say, his drive can fluctuate but the most he could handle is maybe 4 times a week
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Once he’s sure you’re asleep and comfortable he is out like a LIGHT. dad snore and everything
#edd eddsworld#eddswolrd#eddsworld#eddsworld tord#fanfic#fanfiction#future edd#matt eddsworld#reqs open#request#tord ew#ell ew#tori ew#tom ew#matilda ew#ew eduardo#matt ew#ew tori#ew tom#ew matt#ew tord#ew edd#ew fanart#ew fandom#Ew fanfiction#alphabet#HES SO HOT#Ew tom x reader#Ew x reader#x reader
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i may have made the parts of myself that are considered “too much” softer but they’re still v much there. while i’m no longer acting on every impulse (for the most part) as i used to i can honestly say i feel emptier than before. i understand getting fucked up alone all the time helped make everything quieter to an extent and almost acted as an allowance to express myself in full capacity. like, it’s fine if it’s too much because you’re already too much when you’re rarely sober. it’s been nearly 4 years since i’ve been that person but my intrusive thoughts and impulsions never left. i’ve learned to suppress them to the point where i can’t even articulate my thoughts & emotions in a way to receive the help i need. i’m numb to so much yet simultaneously burdened with constant dread and a thick heavy feeling. i can’t let it out to even address it. i rely on escapism as if it’s life or death (isn’t it though?) to the point where i’m nauseated by reality and anything having to do with myself. i wish to continue working towards my “goals” and choosing what’s right instead of what feels good in the moment as i would like to believe having something tangible is above fleeting moments of “happiness” er wtvr. but i’m not even sure what my goals are or if i even want anything at all? i just exist in short bursts where i feel a glimpse of something real and then its back to this growing disillusionment & being out of my body on a daily basis. idk where i was going with this other than to like, embarrass myself publicly lmao but this is the most i’ve felt like expressing when it comes to this in a while so cool i guess
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Empty.
Honestly it has been awhile since i last been writing of my emotions here. I cant help but not to get to caught up in my own emotions. It's honestly tiring. I am still clinging on the fact that I still need a place or someone to try to fill me in, a place where i know i can count on them being interested in what i really want to express. Someone to take me seriously, to listen, to actually not be distracted by just a beeping sound away from their devices. Idk, i just feel so lost, yet i want to be alone, yet i want to be with someone, yet i want them to listen, yet i want them to leave me the fuck alone. My own emotions is too caught up within me that i wasnt convinced enough for anyone to be wanting to listen, to lend me their ears, their time, that i think when a sad song came on, and it hit me on the spot, i feel like i want to cry but i just cant, it's like i have no reasons to cry my problems out, or even why im crying? You know there will always be a place that will make you feel like home, for you to just be yourself and be crystal clear abt everything. It's like when you call up to them, they'll be 'hey let meet up' and you just pour your heart out. And cry and laugh and be emotional, goes down deep to the heart, be non-judgemental, let loose, knows the right words to say, knows even when they listen, they dont really have to say anything, just sit there and exist, you just do the same, and for a moment you can sit and just stare at each other and just smile, grateful for we both have each other, that we can count on one another and knows wtvr happens, we would be there through thick and thin, hardships and miseries, goods and bads, laughs and tears, ups and downs. For all this while, i thought i found the one, tho it might be big step to achieve all of if, i hope pne day, it would all be worth if. One shot and Alhamdulillah. Inshaa Allah one day.
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