#or worse it would come off with like pro templar hawke/anders bullshit where its basically just character bashing and verbal abuse
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Oh no I enemied so hard that even I ended up liking both of them a little less I think it's time to take a break
Oh no I enemied so hard idk how to get back to lovers
#the thing about stories that are a deep dive into the way a characters morality changes#they gotta start out too shitty#i feel like i gave seen into a deeper layer of garrus and he kinda sucks#i mean i knew that but oof#im just gonna take a break maybe pick it back up later#i started writing this bc it bothered me that everybody writes paragon shepard as agreeing with archangel#and not feeling kinda let down by it#i now understand why they do that#its a lot easier to just write something fluffy without getting into that shit#thats still gonna be my janey canon#and it works really well in like rp gameplay to go renegade partway through and then learning how to do the right thing#outside of just the alliance#and then its like the sidonis mission is them bringing each other back from the edge by simultaneously realizing that the other was falling#i still love the idea and the way that it applies to the two of them but uh....i dont think its gonna be me to bring that one to the masses#its a nice story by the end but the begining and the journey are rough and i dont need to see deep into either of these psyches#also i really cant seem to write a character thinking something that i dont agree with bc the point is that theyre both wrong and need to#sort of meet in the middle but i dont really know i personally believe that ?#idk its too complicated and i literally couldn't do it in a way that made them stay likeable or care that they get better#i wrote them arguing so good that i proved that both of them her assholes and now they had to get to lovers but like idk if u can come back#from that#maybe someday ill be able to do it bc i think that theres a lot of huge leaps and gaps in the paragon shep garrus dynamic that i have a lot#of headcanons to fill up#if i were reading this id be like damn uh ok dk you even like these two? and then close it bc it was pointing out things abt my faves that i#actively try to ignore so i can keep liking them#or worse it would come off with like pro templar hawke/anders bullshit where its basically just character bashing and verbal abuse#bc its kind of that but they are things that i believe about garrus and anders has a way better reason than garrus does at any given point#but....i guess ppl who write those fics always think that#which is another reason im gonna stop writing it
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