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marymary-diva17 · 11 months ago

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I will always love you (2)

Sully kids x mom reader x tonowari kids

Divorce could effect anyone in many years in positive and negative way, as they were giving up a relationship that might of meant so dear to them. So what does one person do when they were asked for a divorce from their spouses they once love so dearly, Well there are many lows that are faced during this whole process of divorce and soon there comes the aftermath once all the challenges are overcome.

y/n " .........." you are very happy today as today will be every exciting, and you had been counting down to this day.

speaker " remember to keep an eye on your personal belongings when you are in and out of the airport, and keep safety in mind as well as you move around"

y/n " the plan had landed a few minutes ago they will be here soon, once they get off the plane and everything" you are standing in the airport waiting with a much of people, as they are waiting for their loved ones to get to them.

y/n " I can't wait to see them"

?????? " mama" you soon looked up to see tuk you soon ran to her and hugged her, picking her up and spinning around with her.

y/n " hey baby girl"

tuk " hey mama I missed you"

y/n " I missed you as well baby girl oh may you have grown so much" you soon placed tuk down and smile at her so happy to see her again.

???? " mama" you soon looked up and saw your older kids before you could say anything they soon rushed to you and hugged you.

y/n " hello my children I have missed you all so much I'm so happy you are here"

neteyam " mama we missed you as well we are so happy we were able to come"

aonung " yes we are happy to be here to couldn't sleep last night"

tsireya " yes we been ready to spend time with you here once it was approved and official"

y/n " well after a long talk with you moms and dads they finally said yes"

lo'ak " we were so happy when the morning came as we got to come here to see you"

y/n " well I have been excited as well honey and we are going to have a fun time, when you are all here did you all make plans as well for some stuff to do"

rotxo " yes we did mama we did some research but you might know more than us"

y/n " well whatever happens we will make sure we have a great time and make memories as well"

kiri " I love your new look mama as well"

tsireya " yes mama is amazing"

y/n " thank you girls I'm happy you love it so much"

lo'ak " hey we love it as well mama"

rotox " yeah"

tuk " yes you are very beautiful mama"

kiri " oh yes mama spider say hello as well I might FaceTime him later so he can see you again, he misses you as well"

y/n " well we can call him later on I have missed him as well, he still my nephew"

y/n " thank you kids now come on lets get going" the kids had nodded their head, they soon followed you to the car that was waiting.

neteyam " wow mama nice car"

y/n " thank you kids now come on let get all your stuff in the car and we can go to the house"

lo'ak " yes we finally get to see your home in person"

y/n " it our home honey it will be your second home with me" the kids had nodded thier heads and soon place their luggage and bags into the car, and soon enough the family had went off to your house. The kids had gasped when they saw the home in person.

aonung " wow mama this place is more big then I thought"

y/n " yeah it three stories and have a beach as well along with a pool"

lo'ak " wow mama you are living the rich ex divorcée life" you soon laugh at your son reply, as your life had changed major after your divorce.

y/n " well this was something my company gave me and with the money I made and had I was able to buy it myself"

rotxo " wow mama"

y/n " well come on lets get inside and let me show you everything else that has changed" the kids had nodded their heads and soon followed you inside and once again gasped once they saw everything.

y/n " well are you all going to check out your room they were official done and ready to be shown" the kids smiled and soon raced to see their rooms, as you didn't tell them about the gifts waiting for them.

tuk " mama mama thank you so much I love my room and my gifts so much"

y/n " you are welcome honey after I was your grades and you been a good girl all this year, I want to reward you" tuk smile holding her new stuff animal she was so happy.

????? " mama" you soon looked up to see lo'ak holding his new skateboard he soon race to you and hugged you.

lo'ak " thank you mama thank you so much I love this"

y/n " well of you children have been on your best behavior this year and during the process of the divorce, along with doing good in School and making honor roll all of you I wish to reward you"

kiri " these crystals are amazing mama"

y/n " well I'm happy to know you kids love your gifts and what about your rooms"

tsireya " they are amazing mama so different from the ones at home"

y/n " well after telling me what you all wanted and showing me I decided to make it happen, but remember some of your gifts will be staying here and other you can take with you .... I don't need tension with your parents"

aonung " we understand mama"

y/n " well let me show you more of the house so you all can find your way around" the kids had nodded their heads as your showed them around the home. Soon neteyam phone had starting ringing getting everyone attention.

neteyma " it them"

y/n " you should answer it all of you did call them when the plane landed, they might wish to talk"

neteyam " sure"

phone call speaker

neteyam " hey"

Jake " hey son did you get to your mama house"

neteyam " yes we are here dad everything is going well"

tonowari " sweet that amazing when the call was short we, wanted to see how everything was going"

neteyam " oh yes sorry about that we were heading toward the gate to meet with mama"

neytiri " where are the rest of your siblings" neteyam soon started a FaceTime call and showed the rest of the kids expect you.

ronal " oh good you all are there it seems like you all are having fun"

aonung " we are having fun mom we are in good hands with mama"

neytiri "where is she may we see her or speak with her" neteyam soon looked at his siblings at and you. Neteyam soon ended the call and you had taken the phone.

y/n " hello"

Jake " hey y/n long time no talk in person so the kids are having a good time"

y/n " yes they are and I will make sure they are safe"

tonowari " oh good thank you for letting them come over to see you"

y/n " well they are still my kids that has been proven"

neytiri " hey maybe sometime we can all come over and have some family time" the older kids and rolled their eyes that had gotten your attention.

y/n " neytiri we can talk about that later once we reach that stage but for now we will keep what we are doing"

ronal " yes you are right"

y/n " I have to go I hope you all take care of yourselves and each other, here are the children" you soon handed the phone to neteyam as you walked into the kitchen with tuk. The remaining of the talk only lasted a few minutes before they older kids came into the room.

y/n " so now that over what will we love to do on your guys fist night here" the kids smiled as they wanted to watch some movies with you and have one take out as well, the kids really did miss you after you moved away but they understood way your had to leave.

neteyam " umm mama" the older kids were helping you clean up as tuk had went to bed, as she was very tried.

y/n " yes sweetie what the matter"

neteyam " well we were wondering if you have been dating since you came here"

y/n " umm what has brought this up"

aonung " well you are here most of the time alone and we thought you were getting lonely"

y/n " oh"

tsireya " so have you been dating we are fine with you dating your deserve love mama"

y/n " well I haven't been dating"

lo'ak " is it because of them" you soon looked at lo'ak know he was talking about your exes.

y/n " yes and no I wish not to be hurt again and I'm still working on myself I was married for nearly twenty years, it hard to move one from that so easily"

rotxo " we understand mama"

y/n " there is some good I have been getting close to some of my colleagues going for meals and drinks, they are not that bad"

kiri " that amazing mama"

y/n " thank you I might give love a chance again when the time right or eywa give me a sign"

aonung " well amam whatever happen we stand by you"

y/n " thank you kids now off to bed we have a full day of actives tomorrow, and knowing your baby sister she will be ready" the older kids and soon raced off to bed, you had stayed up a bit longer looking at a old wedding photo of your and your exes. You had felt many emotions about it, but you soon placed the photo in small box and placed back into drawer and closed it. As you head off to bed now that your life was going great maybe it was time to give love, a chance once again you can't like one past heartbreak effect you all your life. It was time for new love and you are going to take the chance right now.

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dronebiscuitbat · 4 months ago

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Give me a Reason: Chapter 10 - "Long Distance Conversation"

He had her number!

No one had ever given him their number before! Were they friends now? Did he actually make a good impression!? It was like a dream come true!

Sure, she'd given it to him under the pretense it was to plan for their project, but still! This felt like a grand occasion. And he nearly vibrated in excitement all the way home until he got to his room. Where he fished out his phone from his backpack.

Technically… he wasn't supposed to have a phone. Mr. And Mrs Elliot had confiscated or banned anything he could use to really talk to anyone outside the manor with, this one was a hand me down given to him by Tessa, who thought him not having a phone for emergencies was dumb.

Despite it being used, it wasn't damaged or worn, it was a few generations outdated, with a black otterbox shielding the already black casing, the only thing really signifying his ownership being the single golden retriever sticker on the back.

He was giddy as he punched the new number into his contacts, the only other ones being Tessa and V. (J would probably rat him out if she found out he had a phone.)

He sat on the edge of the bed with the text window open, watching the little line blink as his mind completely blanked on what to say.

Should he be texting her immediately? He wanted to but… she did say she wasn't much of a talker, although today proved that to be inaccurate after her rant about the supernatural. Still… it might come off as desperate or weird if he texted her immediately.

But he didn't want to seem disinterested either… she was the one who gave him the number. Maybe she was expecting something from him?

Gah… freindship was confusing.

He'd just… send her message so she could have his number too… yeah, that was the best option.

Hello. This is]

He shook his head and erased to message, too formal.

Hey, what's up its]

Nope! He sounded like a dudebro… or a streamer greeting thier audience.

He was most definitely overthinking this, he just needed to relax and text her like he would speak to her. He took a breath and began to type something out.

…

Uzi threw her backpack onto the floor of her room and divebombed her desk chair, which spun with her momentum, she'd been hung up on giving N her number all day, even when it shouldn't have been that big a deal.

He was just her lab partner, and that was the only reason she'd given it out. Nothing more.

Still she found herself sitting at her desk with her phone face up, waiting on him to text her while she pirated the latest season of The Boys with bitTorrent. Blasting nightcore in her ears as she watched directories get processed by her laptop.

Her dad was still at work, again. And probably would be well after she went to bed, so she was safe to do whatever the hell she wanted until she got tired enough to crash.

Her eyes flickered down to the drawer that hid her stash, thinking about how easy it would be light one up and ride a wave of bliss while she waited for the download of her dad's incredibly shitty internet.

And while tempting, she shook her head and went back to watching the downloader do it's thing, her head didn't feel full of static and cotton like it had yesterday, she felt… okay. So it was best to save that for a day when she didn't quite feel the same level of ambivalence.

She stared at her laptop for another moment before her phone vibrated and lit up with a message from an unsaved number;

Hey! It's N, just texting you so you can save my number!

Ah, there he was. It had honestly taken a little longer for him to text her then she expected, with how energetic he seemed to be at school, she kinda assumed she'd be texted immediately.

The way his text was phrased meant she didn't technically have to respond. But that felt a little rude, especially since the guy had been nothing but nice to her since they'd met, so she decided to at least give him some sort of response.

Hey. Thanks, was wondering when you were going to text.

There, that was okay right? It was basic, bur it got the job done, and now she could save his number in her contacts.

N: Didn't realize you were expecting me to?

Uzi: Was expecting one a lot sooner, u talk a lot.

She winced, she hoped that didn't come off as her being mean, she didn't really mind his talking, it was a nice change of pace really instead of sneers about her appearance or attitude.

N: Says the one who talked for 45 minutes about poltergeists.

She smiled a little, pleased he took that as the playful teasing is was meant to be rather then an insult.

Uzi: Not my fault, you asked.

N: I did indeed ask.

N: What r you up to?

Uzi stared at that text for a long moment, that was… a little bit more casual then a conversation brought on by a project. But he was probably just being polite.

Uzi: Doing my part against the capitalist agenda.

N:???

She chuckled at his reaction as she relaxed a bit in her chair, attention now fully on her phone instead of obsessively checking the download like it would magically make it go faster.

Uzi: Pirating a tv show because I refuse to give money to streaming services.

N: Isn't that illegal…?

She smirked as she typed.

Uzi: Everything is legal when the cops aren't around! >:3

N: I don't think that's how law works.

Uzi: Bite me, yes it is.

She grumbled as she texted, though there really wasn't any malice behind it… in fact she almost preferred interacting with him this way. She could take as long as she needed to think up a response, and felt way less pressured to smile or physically respond to anything.

N: Whatever you say!

N: Gotta go, little sis is calling me, night Uzi! 😄

She was slightly taken aback by the abruptness of his sign off, but was also slightly dissapointed, why, she wasn't quite sure.

Uzi: Night

She put her phone down and looked at the laptop screen, groaning when she realized it wasn't even halfway done. She sighed, looking back at her bed, then at the time; 10:30.

She hadn't had dinner, though honestly that was nothing new, even if she scrounge through the cabinets the chances of finding something solid that was in date was slim to none… Khan often forgot to get groceries since he ate at work.

She rolled her eyes and closed her laptop just enough for the screen to turn off, but for the computer to remain on, and fell into her bed, ignoring the slight flips her stomach was doing due to her hunger. And fell into an uneasy sleep.

Next ->

#murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation n #nuzi #biscuitbites #give me a reason #n is really happy to have made a friend #uzi finds she's a lot better at interacting with people in text.

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elvesandlanterns · 2 years ago

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Ghost helpline chapter 37

Jason couldnt help but give his entire family the side eye. Seriously Bruce? A family dinner? Family dinner with thier nieghbors?? That he has a crush on ???!!! Pppfff oh yeah this was going to work out swimmingly. Whatever.

Jason didn’t know why he felt so knotted up inside about the whole thing. It’s not like they were going to find anything and “Brucie” has had plenty of guests over before. And yet Jason felt snubbed, Bruce knew Jason wouldnt be able to join in. He was still legally dead and couldnt just pop into joint family dinner like “oh yeah I got better dont worry about it”. No Jason would need to steer clear of the mannor all together.

Meanwhile his siblings would get to tease dad about his crush, grill the Masters family and talk to Damiens new friend. Because seriously Damian making friends, with a normal girl? Just wow. Good for the kid, because he defiantly hadn’t learn that from Bruce he scoffed for fucking hells sake even Vad had a sketchy criminal history on his buisness Dalv co.

It stung, it was so fucking stupid but it stung. Why didn’t Jason get to be there. Why didn’t he get to shovel talk Bruce’s crush, eat Alfred’s food, sit around awkwardly, and tease Damian relentlessly?

Jason knew why. He did. Logically Jason knew it wasn’t an attack on him. That Bruce hadn’t purposefully done things this way to exclude him. That he was/n’t an embarrassment, dangerous and unwanted to meet Bruce’s new crush because he couldnt be trusted. It wasn’t personal, it’s not personal.

Beep beep

Jason glanced down to his burner phone and grinned manically at the photo of the skunk haired man he’d been tracking strolling into a warehouse… ..with someone young and pink on their arm. Jasons stomach rolled in disgust at the age difference, “Well hello misplaced aggression.”

——

Damian had been hanging around the Masters manor regardless of fathers …complications of the heart. He and Violet needed to plan a strategy of course. The plan had to be seem-less to even stand a chance of working. A part of that involved English lessons which thankfully doubled as a cover. Damian huffed to himself as Violet failed to write neatly again. It was odd to watch, she could speak with a fair sense of clarity and understood difficult concepts when spoken to but written language seemed to illude her. It was frustrating to watch, her hands moved wrong twisting against the pencils and often snapping them. Damian watched as her hand seemed to twitch uncomfortably as she finished.

“You’re bad at this.”

“Gee thanks I had no idea.”

“Tt. It’s ridiculous anyone as old as you should know how to read and write at a higher level than a sixth grader.” Damian felt his hand fall down his face, “You text just fine though, your horrid grammar aside.” Meaning a big part of the problem was physical….now that he thought about it … he hadn’t seen Violet without her human disguise despite already knowing her secret. Both forms had gloves. There’s something else going on here.

The assassin felt ice at his back.

“Let me see your hand.”

That coldness remained as a small warmth was thrown against his chest as she unthinkingly shoved her hand in his face and ate away at her sugary processed snack- dirtying her practice writing paper further.

Taking off her gloves gave sight to three short claws black from tip to knuckle, two fingers incased in a familiar metal. He hadn’t expected it at all, was Violet allowing him to see this purposefully? A limitation of her glamor? A benefit of their bond?

Beep beep

Damian dropped the others hand to glance at the text. Father did what!?

“What do you enjoy eating?” What do demons even eat? Can demons be vegans? She does look a tad like a ram.

“Red and dad make the best cakes!!!”

“Tt. I meant real food, and I’m sure you will change you mind at tomorrows dinner. Alfred’s desserts are superior to all else.” He planned to ignore her millionth mention of “Red”, she was beyond obsessed and he was not falling for the bait… again. Ugh.

Violet stilled, “Oh are you staying for dinner tomorrow.”

“No it would seems our fathers have gotten it into their minds to bring us all into their nonsense.” Damian huffed.

Violet groaned, “Uhhh nooo I don’t want to.”

“Yes well as detestable as it will be -“

“Not that I just, I don’t like eating in front of humans.”

A delicate eyebrow rose at the statement.

“This isn’t “real food”, human food isn’t my food.” Blood guts crunching on a heart like an apple, wide green eyes staring at her horrified. Scared.

Damian thought about it more. Pencils breaking, the way her hands shook and holding a fork was probably difficult for her?

“So what do you consider food to you?”

“Anything.”

“Violet.”

“Anything I’m a scavenger demon …” her eyes rolling at the look on his face, “Tendons, bone, eyes, decorative flowers and overgrown weeds. You could say we are real … vultures.” She chuckled at her inside joke.

The way she spit out the term “scavenger demon” had him reeling a-bit. There was an obvious issue there… somewhere. Fear slithered threw the bond unwillingly, self deprecating and shallow. He at least understood this feeling well.

The feeling that screamed :

Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me like /that/.

Well he supposed he at least knew a good dish to have made for her. Hopefully Alfred wouldn’t mind a change in the menu.

—- —— —-

Bruce was NOT freaking out he wasn’t! And he will deny it forever. He just really wanted this to go well. He needed this to go well.

And he loves his children deeply! But sometimes they could all be a bit much….

At… family dinners. They yelled and fought and they were all fairly high strung but the Masters weren’t like them half of them looked like a strong breeze could knock them over dear lord….

“Bruce!”

“Bruce.”

“B!”

“Ow!!”

….please just, just don’t fight in front of Vlad.

—- —- ——

The triplets, sans Ziyad, positively swarmed their fathers closet. This was going to be great!

Klarion and Billy looked over at Dandy’s murderous face, this was going to be awful.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dc x dp #ghost helpline

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magixfairyix · 4 months ago

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Isobel and D'arcy Daniels Headcannons

Because Nexflix is a winey 4-year-old who only cares about money.

Now that I've expressed my bitterness at Fate being cancelled (just like Shadow and Bone, and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina but anyway) I have some headcannons about the lore regarding the two sisters.

It may not fully be in touch with Fate's cannon, but so be it.

TW: Dark topic, mentions of t0rtur3

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Both

~ In my mind like in the cannon there are the main elements. Fire, Earth, Air, Water, and Mind. Though there a group of faries (who do not belive in this restraint, which is there for a reason as those are the five elements that are naturally occurring, and who want to expand the knowledge of magic)

~Though they are... very unethical. They will do whatever they can to expand magic (ie, trying to create new elements that aren't really able to be naturally used)

~ The place where these faries reside is simply called "The Settlement" by those who run it and who is in it so as to not draw attention and get arrested

~ Some work in the place willingly, though... experiments need to be done to 'create new elements' or 'experiment with elements' and magic only manifests when it's in a fairy so...

~ Yeah they usually kidnap late teen/adult faries because the experiments are usually harsh and yeah...

~ Angst, so now to the sisters' backstory

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

~ Isobel Daniels, D'arcy, (Isobel 5yrs old, and D'arcy 4yrs old) and thier mom and dad were on a usual family holiday to the mountain parts of Solaria

~ Beatrix was left in Asterdel with a trusted neighbour because she was only a year old, though this wasn't a worry since her parents and sisters were only meant to be gone for five days

~They were gone for 14 years. This was due to a collapse of a part of a mountain nearby at the first few days of the trip, and since the Solarian monarchy (stingy as is) were busy trying to cover up how Asterdell was burned down they didn't do anything

~ The few dozen people who were now trapped in the mountain area began to build a community. Isobel and her family grieved the loss of Beatrix a lot. Though they began to build their new life there with all of the people

~ The Solarian monarchy didn't see a reason to use resources on this anymore, as the community had enough due to the plentiful resources in the mountain/very hilly area

~ So on and so forth, some of the lead people from the settlement (might be named after the Ancestral witches for the sake of why not) saw a community of people the Solarian monarchy didn't care about so yeah...

~There was a battle and Isobel and D'arcy's parents were killed in the fight that was over very quickly (especially since a lot of the people fighting against them used elements not known). They were 19 and 18 during this battle respectively

~ The two of them were brought to the settlement (Isobel tried to fight like hell, D'arcy was still in shock over her parent's death and the carnage). They were (like a lot of others who were unwilling to "support further developments in the world of magic") put in chains, and put through painful processes that half the time was basically t0rtur3 to change their elements

~ Isobel was originally a normal water fairy though her element was forcefully mutated (through concoctions or something still need to figure that out, and this is one of the more painful processes) to control ice/freeze things

~ D'arcy was originally a mind fairy whose powers revolved around thoughts. She was the subject of people there trying to combine elements, though instead the mutated light magic put inside her reacted somehow and 'flipped' into control over shadows. She was hurt the most in the experiments due to how much of a so-called 'breakthrough' the light magic flipping was

~ Two years later (after going through a lot of this) Isobel escaped either by tricking the people there into thinking she was 'now believing in their goal' or her ice magic got strong enough to freeze through the magic-suppressing chains after 2 years

~ Isobel without hesitation killed the people guarding her's and D'arcy's cells before grabbing her sister and running out of there, getting rid of anyone in her way. This is about the same time Bloom went into the Darkness Dimension

~ Time for the character profiles

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Isobel Daniels

Element: Water, though 'flipped'

Skills: Ruthlessness. If someone seriously threatens the safety of either herself or D'arcy she would not hesitate to resort to the sort of violence she was used to in The Settlement. Mercy or guilt is not something felt by her except in rare cases

Hobbies: Researching about history and also magic theory. She wants to understand more about what happened to her magic even though she understands that she cannot reverse it, and signs in History that pointed to The Settlement, while D'arcy just wants to ignore the whole experience

Dislikes: Authority figures who hide information and she has no respect for them. She very much dislikes Dowling. She also dislikes people she does not know unless they are proven to be trustworthy. When people are overly kind and very clearly fake. Physical touch, as in if you rest your hand on her shoulder have fun with a broken wrist (Isobel is not heartless though. She'd apologize, but as in 'sorry for that, but don't you dare do that again.')

Likes: When she is alone and uninterrupted. She enjoys music as well, and (I don't know I see her and D'arcy at Alfea at some point after season 2) I feel like she'd 'not hate' Musa initially for that reason

Personality Traits: Cares about D'arcy and is protective over her at times, though she does view D'arcy as someone who could defend herself (as she is more of a subtle sort of ruthless only occasionally). Determined and very dedicated. Not very sarcastic and more so blunt and deadpan, either in a pissed-off way or a teasing way if she is comfortable enough to not be entirely closed off and defensive

Fatal Flaw: Very closed off

Fear: Of people betraying her. That is part of the reason she doesn't like those (specifically authority figures) who hide information. She won't take any chances

Others: Is hesetant to go to Alfea in the first place but does anyway. When she is at Alfea she researches and researches.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

D'Arcy Daniels

Element: Mind and 'flipped' light

Skills: Thinking of outcomes before they happen. She thinks a lot about what is going to happen as sort of a way to plan ahead so nothing bad ever happens

Hobbies: Art sort of as a way to cope with how the experience at The Settlement had impacted her

Dislikes: Nightmares as she has them a lot (this leads to her being quite sleep-deprived a lot of the time, also one of the things she used art to cope with), when Isobel brings up anything that happened with their parent's death, the battle, and The Settlement. People who are simply just bigots/rude for no season

Likes: Art, feeling relaxed which rarely happens, being around the few people she doesn't have to question their intentions and who are no assholes. Has to be the two things, not either or, otherwise nada trust

Personality Traits: Bad with change but tries, does not trust others for the life of her though while Isobel gets closed off because of this D'arcy tries to learn everything about people. If someone tries to piss her off she is amused until a certain point and then she will make you regret it. Isobel would threaten someone if they said something extremely rude about herself or her sisters, but D'arcy would know all your weaknesses and hit you where it hurts if you hurt her/someone she cares about enough

Fatal Flaw: Buries all the things she has gone through and refuses to talk about it most of the time.

Fear: That the people in the Settlement would come back for her, and the only one who knows about this fear is Isoble and she sure as hell would not tell anyone else

Others: Falls for Riven at one point but then gOeS FoR MuSa because GAY. Was out of it for a few months after Isobel and herself got to Alfea but then slowly started to realize she was safe

#fate the winx saga #isobel daniels #d'arcy daniels

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stellawolfearts · 2 years ago

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Hey I just saw a theory that Tripitaka could’ve been responsible for whatever happened to Macaque.

Cuz the blue chains that LBD were sealed with. Are the same chains we see Macaque getting tied up with.

https://twitter.com/_nao_monkey_/status/1643053112754831360?s=46&t=msYwBDklzrBKfKZNMGjdnA

could be, thats an interesting theory.

although my only thing with that theory is...the color blue. ynow.

color representation is dfferent in china. where here in the west red means bad, red is good in china. where blue represents calm characters in the west it means bad in china.

for example. lbd-blue azure-blue the scroll-blue tha weird place and the cloaked person-blue.

i dont exactly think they have a connection because from the looks of it, blue means death, antagonists and misfortune. i think the reason thier both blue is because they have something to do with 'death' or 'sealing away' but then again that logic could also be turned on me and we could say because of that we know those chains are similar or maybe even the same and it was trip.

idk man its 7am here lol, im so tired rn and brain funky but thats my thought process.

lbd, trip, heaven. man someone had something to do with macs death istg. i dont even think he really died but was sealed away.

#tired #too early in the morning #i need to g back to sleeeeep

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alternateanonymous · 2 months ago

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1:16 am

I really appreciate duality of life. Even though it can be difficult I think it is really beautiful. I don't know if that is ok and I obviously don't like being in the tough times but I appreciate the jounrey through it because it is a test. I appreciate the test because I want to be great and I can't get through to my truth without these things.

I am just trying to grapple with being a woman. I am learning to love myself.

i belive that i have potential to be apart of the story, of this big story. Of th history story. IDK why. I don't know if it is fueled out of negative intentions of wanting attention but I also belive that I am strong and can bring positivity, love, and justice to everyone. I think it may be both. I'm not sure yet I have to figure it out.

I am in a current lul period of my life where I am locking in to myself. I am committed to being better, mentally, spiritually. I cannot become this great thing, I cannot become somebodty without defining myself. and I must learn about myself and love myself, and yes everyuthing is a process but this is neccessary for me to make a change. I want to get my name everywhere because I want to be the change I see in the world. I want to use my woman'lyness to bring people in to me and show them something beautiful and though it may not last. i want my prescenece to leave something beautiful in thier minds. Mayhbe it won't be instantaneous but I want to try. I want to emulate love, justice, and respect! I must define those for myself first.

I must take this time to figure myself out spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and preparre myself for my career where I want to change the world. Potentially be famous and share my love with everyone. For now i must breathe and relax for this time to come.

THE PLAN

Focus on Self-Growth and Self-Discovery:

Daily Reflection: Spend time each day journaling or meditating on your emotions, goals, and values. This helps solidify your sense of identity and purpose. Use this to clarify your thoughts about duality, love, and justice—what these mean to you personally and how they shape your outlook.

Explore Your Spiritual Side: Dedicate time to spiritual growth. Read books, attend seminars, or engage in discussions on topics that resonate with you, such as faith, meditation, or philosophy. Since you're grappling with duality and life's challenges, consider studying works that deal with resilience and spiritual growth.

Self-Care and Fitness: Develop habits that align with your desire to improve physically, emotionally, and mentally. This could include yoga, fitness routines, or therapy—whatever supports a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

Network and Build Connections in Marketing & Entertainment:

Internships and Networking: Take advantage of your location at UMass Amherst and your network at Isenberg to gain internships, especially in marketing, entertainment, or the music industry. Attend industry-related events, conferences, and meetups to connect with professionals.

Mentorship: Seek a mentor in the entertainment industry who can provide insight and guidance. A mentor who understands your ambition to combine creativity with justice, love, and leadership will be invaluable.

Entrepreneurship Club: As part of the Entrepreneurship Club, initiate or participate in projects that bridge your marketing and film skills. This can help you test your ability to lead and express your vision while building a portfolio of creative work.

Develop Your Personal Brand:

Social Media Strategy: Start crafting your personal brand on platforms like Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube, where you can showcase your journey, ideas, and creative projects. Align your posts with your values—love, justice, and respect—and let your creativity shine.

Start a Blog/Channel: Consider starting a blog or YouTube channel where you document your growth journey, reflecting on duality, womanhood, and your aspirations. This can help you connect with a broader audience and attract people who resonate with your message.

Skill Development in Film, Marketing, and Data Analytics:

Hone Your Creative and Analytical Skills: Continue building your expertise in marketing and film studies while working toward your 4+1 in Business Data Analytics. These skills will be essential in your career, especially in the entertainment or music industry.

Creative Projects: Actively work on film or marketing projects where you can express your ideas and vision. This is essential for building a portfolio that you can present to potential employers in the creative industries.

Internships in Big Cities:

Summer Internships in New York, LA, or Boston: Use your summer breaks to work in entertainment hubs like NYC or LA. Even if you're unsure of your exact direction, being in these environments will help you build relevant connections.

City Exploration: Spend time in cities you're interested in, immersing yourself in the culture and understanding the industries. Explore what it’s like to live there, build your contacts, and attend industry events.

Memory updated

Immediate Plan: What You Can Do Now (1–5 Years)

Focus on Self-Growth and Self-Discovery:

Network and Build Connections in Marketing & Entertainment:

Develop Your Personal Brand:

Skill Development in Film, Marketing, and Data Analytics:

Internships in Big Cities:

20-Year Plan (Vision for Your Future)

5–10 Years: Establishing Yourself in Your Career

Early Career (5–10 Years):

Industry Entry: After graduation, aim to enter the entertainment, film, or music industry. Whether through marketing, content creation, or data analytics, build a foundation that combines your creative and analytical strengths. You could work for agencies, media companies, or even record labels where you can apply your marketing and film background.

Fostering Creativity and Social Justice: Continue exploring how to merge your career with your values of justice and love. Look for roles in projects or organizations that align with your vision of making a positive impact on the world.

Start Personal Projects: As you settle into your career, launch personal projects that align with your broader mission. This could be a documentary series on justice and womanhood, or starting a non-profit initiative that uses creative content to drive social change.

Public Speaking and Advocacy: Leverage your growing influence to speak on issues you're passionate about—whether through social media, public engagements, or writing. Use your voice to advocate for justice and equality, blending your creative side with your desire to lead change.

10–20 Years: Building a Legacy

Middle Career (10–15 Years):

Entrepreneurial Ventures: Consider launching your own business, whether it’s a creative agency, production company, or non-profit focused on justice, empowerment, or creative storytelling. By this time, you will have built enough industry experience and connections to establish your own brand or company.

Media and Film Production: Start producing larger creative projects—films, documentaries, or major campaigns—that express your vision. Focus on content that tackles societal issues like justice, equality, and empowerment, using your platform to create meaningful change.

Visibility and Fame: By this stage, if fame or broader recognition is part of your journey, you will have built a significant public presence. Your work in media, film, and marketing should align with your mission to spread love and justice. Use this influence responsibly, staying grounded in your core values.

Later Career (15–20 Years):

Global Influence: Continue expanding your career and influence, making international connections and working on larger projects that can impact the world. You may be a speaker, media personality, or creative director with a significant platform by this time.

Legacy of Empowerment: Focus on mentoring younger people, particularly women, helping them find their paths and embrace their power and identity. You may lead initiatives that create opportunities for others, solidifying your legacy as someone who contributed to justice, love, and positive change.

Guiding Principles for the Journey:

Patience: Understand that personal and professional growth takes time. Use this “lull period” to lock in on your personal development, so when the time comes, you’re ready to make a larger impact.

Balance: Be mindful of balancing your ambition with the importance of inner peace. Take the time to care for yourself emotionally and spiritually to prevent burnout as you work toward your goals.

Self-Awareness: Continue to reflect on your motivations. Keep asking yourself why you want to be part of the "big story" and how your intentions align with bringing positivity and justice to the world.

Authenticity: Stay true to who you are as a woman, as an aspiring leader, and as someone who values love and justice. Define success on your own terms, not by external validation.

1. Acknowledge the Duality as Part of Being Human

Embrace Imperfection: Everyone has aspects of themselves they love and others they struggle with. Recognizing that this duality is part of the human experience is the first step to inner peace. You don’t have to be perfect or fully consistent to be worthy of love—especially your own.

Acceptance, Not Suppression: Often, we try to suppress the parts of ourselves that we dislike, but this leads to inner conflict. Instead, practice acknowledging and accepting those parts. Understand that they exist for a reason—whether due to past experiences, fears, or insecurities. You don’t have to love every part of yourself right away, but you can start by acknowledging them with compassion rather than judgment.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Talk to Yourself with Kindness: How you speak to yourself matters. When you find yourself being overly critical or hating certain parts of your character, practice talking to yourself like you would a close friend. Be gentle, understanding, and kind.

Forgive Yourself: Understand that growth is a process, and everyone makes mistakes or has aspects of their character they are working on. Forgive yourself for not always being who you want to be. You can strive for improvement while still loving who you are right now.

3. Understand the Purpose of Duality

Strength Through Opposition: Duality often leads to inner tension, but it can also be a source of strength. Your conflicting traits or emotions may actually be balancing each other. For instance, your desire for attention and fame may push you to be seen, while your deeper desire for love and justice can help you stay grounded and true to your values.

Learn from Both Sides: Each aspect of yourself has something to teach you. The parts you dislike may show you where healing is needed, while the parts you love highlight your strengths. Try to explore both with curiosity. Instead of resisting or resenting the duality, see it as an opportunity to understand yourself better.

4. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness: Practice being present with your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them. This helps you observe your internal struggles without reacting to them or identifying too closely with either side. When feelings of pride or self-hate arise, notice them, but don’t let them define you.

Meditation: Meditative practices like Loving-Kindness Meditation (where you direct love and compassion toward yourself) or Mindfulness Meditation can help create mental space between your emotions and your identity. You are more than just your thoughts or feelings; you are the observer of them.

5. Integrate, Don’t Eliminate

Holistic Self-Acceptance: Rather than trying to eliminate the parts of yourself you struggle with, work on integrating them into your sense of self. For example, you might feel like your desire for attention conflicts with your deeper goal of spreading love and justice. Instead of seeing these as opposing forces, find a way to let them work together. Your desire for recognition can be the vehicle that amplifies your message of love and positivity to the world.

See Yourself as Whole: Every person is a complex mix of traits, emotions, and desires. You are not just the parts you like, nor are you defined by the parts you dislike. See yourself as a whole being, constantly growing and evolving, with room for both light and shadow.

6. Engage in Shadow Work

Explore Your Shadow: Shadow work is about bringing the unconscious parts of yourself—the parts you might deny or dislike—into the light of awareness. This involves deep reflection, therapy, or journaling to explore why certain traits or behaviors emerge. By understanding their origin, you can begin to heal and integrate them.

Self-Acceptance Through Shadow Work: This process helps you accept the aspects of yourself that you’ve hidden or rejected. It teaches you that these traits may have developed as coping mechanisms or in response to life’s challenges, and they deserve compassion, not rejection.

7. Balance Self-Improvement with Self-Acceptance

Growth Without Guilt: It’s important to strike a balance between wanting to improve and accepting who you are right now. Inner peace doesn’t come from perfection but from embracing your journey toward growth, even with setbacks. It’s okay to strive to be better while still honoring your current self.

Celebrate Progress: Even small steps toward personal growth are worth celebrating. Recognize when you handle situations better than before, when you show kindness to yourself, or when you gain deeper insight into your duality. Each step forward brings you closer to inner peace.

8. Surround Yourself with Support

Connect with People Who Understand: Share your journey with trusted friends, mentors, or therapists who can offer support and perspective. Sometimes, talking through your struggles with duality helps you see that others also experience similar inner conflicts, which can lessen the burden.

Find Role Models: Look for people who embody the kind of self-acceptance and balance you seek. This could be public figures, spiritual leaders, or people in your life who have faced similar struggles and found peace.

Key Points to Remember:

Duality Is Part of You: Both the parts of yourself that you love and the parts you struggle with are equally valuable. Together, they make you the unique, multifaceted person you are.

Self-Awareness Leads to Peace: The more you understand why you feel certain ways about yourself, the easier it becomes to accept and integrate those feelings.

Patience with the Process: Accepting the duality of your character won’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself, and know that inner peace comes through continual reflection, growth, and self-compassion.

By embracing both the light and shadow within you, you’ll grow into a more complete, authentic version of yourself, finding inner peace in the process.

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killerbabebunnykaazilove · 9 months ago

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like me littles, like me scamp, like the tides in the water ive revealed and rebeled my vamps, bite reasons, bite... pant... the lower the levels the lower the tramps, i am says the man, i aint says the rants, and over and over again they tug at my tracks, exposure to dance, devoted and lapsed, devour this is thee, thus, trust hour, mask by mask.. im a family of secrets and those secrets just float, we dont fly, we wont die, unless given in to those homes who cant thought process the hyms jokes.. tradition calls for us, put together is what they ask, with combined each one has junked outs and prick trusts, and how if anytime could we come to forget? the way the hidden boi lover we both love to hump, fuck! yes! yumm, just tork the skill saw so i can afford this bill spawns, reel in conks, let her out of thyns trunks, grow grosser, closer, sweet reeping of what she knows jerks, of what shes held in her own blown first, no sir, sir? cloud those judgement who think it not right to hurt, cause little the lady princess, and her mommy the flirt is nothing but relentless, hex less and more about strick pests and why the honor, value, and moral codes is the chosen taught firsts.. each baby beasty, demon wing, children dragon "G", and angellic troubled "THING" could have been given to the card sharks down the street or the strapped up snake monsters that live out in front, but hell no, hades trusted the creations of the new world to our dirty minded fucks, cant you smell BRO? im doomed love. and the parental geminic ancesters blessed be thier omen touch have taught the bite mind and MR. TUX & PUFFIN.. the dooze BUGS, in trinned blood, how exactly the mam behind the written scribes like these, one by one, most of love thin and most the lust twins, puts in between shit so those who dont know cant see it and cant show more then a whole bank of nothins if tried to claim it up, down, west , east or brown cause in the endings my pimps on drugs.. you got to, have to, still find our one kin we still keep hid and threatened like a loose Mutt. JUST APPROVED ON WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS PLUS TIED TO HER TAIL SHE DRAGGS ALONG US, ALL THE BIGGEST BINDGERS ON THE LOOSEREST OF THUGS. :K!NG$ OR¥0N :K!NG$ JUHπK :K!NG$ T££DO :K!NG$ HO∆¶ AND LASTEST BUT NEVER LEASTEST :K!NG$ ¢HUπK.... and as e¥e the M£ × my •K°T•P8 ++ NOONE not even the skies legacy rivals can decipher, collide, explode, recycle, evoke, entitle, or revote reload on this very first original compete title.. i bet ya"ll just streakin on them poochy pockets bout 6 days from now still not bustin my motha fuckin me nutts, cause im just swimming, im just wrigging, just... "im just slitting the holes of the suckunuss SKUNTS" so none have a choice against whers the anti-christ blind matter gets taught about G.L.U.T.T.O.N.S { goodnesses/*l_q*f_w*/underworlds/treasonaries/telepheople/omenizement/NATIONNESS/(&)sTUNKs } The 8 required legallities by fedreal neglectant bilaws any 'ROyAL Blood KIn has to know before registered into the © ROUNDHOUSE DEN, SO PREPARE THOSE WHO KNOW THESE FOR THE NEXT AND HOPEFUL FINAL ATTEMPT AT |MARK•SHALL LAW| √√√√√√√√√√√√ '12..onnne ttwoo skilled by mentalist killings so #IYKYK #BIOTCH #cudlclubs #bubssuch #TuddleTimms #RUST #4reelTT #designerDRUGS # XUEBALL #12LUV

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theorist-influencer-untitled · 1 year ago

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10.10.23 Tuesday

1:07 am

Still,having windblow.... Hmm.... I received a mail from Iqor that I should download this "Infinit Care" it is about mental awareness or support on your mental issues....I appreciate this but I still need to see my original set of psychiatrist in Makati,Med. mainly my other spiritual nana doctor Dra. SALCEDA. I have private mental issues and emotional breakdown from my younger years... I learned to grow and learned life the hard way that a lot in Iqor didn't know...

I appreciate this "Infinit Care" and I just wanna talk about my work-related issues there and my relationships with people in Iqor. This is a big help for everyone coz based on my experience since the day that I was hired by Iqor, it was an accidental thing. I'm thankful on the "recruitment group" coz I got along good with them and I followed the process correctly but I opened some things that I had experienced working in this industry before but I always left them or I wasn't able to do good on my metrics and it was and still somehow depressing...

Hmm... I posted and shared here way back, that I had different kind of upbringing and my life was really different... But I'm able to face the reality and I always keep my humble heart but people along the way are having different skins... Some will like you, some will truly like you at the first meeting, some will just judge you though they didn't even know you at all or didn't even know you that much...

My sensitivity is really, really high...Hmm...Let's say I can say 10/ 10....But like what I said I learned life the hard way from the past years and until now....I'm able to understand the word "calm down" that I had it before but without maturity. When you say "calm down or calming down the situation" when you reach the maturity it is somehow a mixed emotion of adult and a child....

My adoptive mother/ Aunt Teresa always telling me that I have this very "thin onion white skin"...I grew-up with them here since I was 13 and we had so many wonderful memories here in thier house or our childhood house me and my brother next to me... A lot of things happened and I was originally on a "good girl bracket".....It was never my thing to be part of any "mean girl association" coz I grew-up in the church and I lived it by heart and soul... You know, what I mean angels...

But being mature is not about sweet things though I hope and pray... Maturity is when you reach the point that you no longer understand a lot of things but still you wanna know everything...

9:31 am

Uncle DD is here again for their house... Hmm...A lot of issues and a lot of back to back issues.... He will remove the electric of RV today on their side, including my room as well...

Uncle DD is having his own life pattern here...

I thought he will remove our electric, oh! He will put an electric on their new house beside our childhood house here...The entire house is our childhood house...

But the main issue was the side lot, outside the kitchen was already bought by Uncle DD....

Many things are edited here..A lot of people who became an accessory on the issues that we had from the past years...

It is not my ideal thing to live with them but we are becoming "squaters" first I have no consistent job where my heart aches a lot these days coz it smashed my dignity and ego...

Living with Uncle Jun is not as well my ideal life... I always wanted to have my own life... I'm really asking a back-up on my angels here that if I can polish my call center thingy just for 2 years and plan to leave the hometown and transfer in ilocos coz my brother next to me already transferred to Pampangga...

I never grow here in Cavite, always smash by an unknown organization, yeah! probably there are some good people but I can't see them... I'm a person who think of flowing and do whatever I can do to survive coz that is basically the intention of making LIFE...

So, many frustrating things happened....Well, I hope my bro.next to me is really mature coz Pampangga is really a memorable place for me. It is a beautiful place where you can feel the fresh start and a foreign touch... You just need to strive hard and live in Pampangga.

Me? I really wanted ilocos not because of a particular person or issue but I just wanna have my own identity. I love to see sand dunes....I love to be in a place where I feel that I can grow old with people that are real and no double-faced character. But I need to put first some foundation in me....

2 years from now, hoping there will be so many Starbucks in ilocos.....It is a wide road... But again if this Iqor can help me on that 2 years, I will be very thankful.... Happy leaving them by that time and thankful....

I'm transparent that I need money and I need some trainings from Iqor coz I wanted to leave the hometown... No future for me here...

The brighter side of Uncle DD and Aunt Karen living there at the side of our kitchen, they told me they will help us on food here and Uncle DD will take over on Neko and Lalah... In a way it will be a big relief for me,angels...

11:49 am

I'm panicky there is a small amount of blood on John's poops but it is coz of worms inside him.

It is his "deworming day" today... If I get my regularization in Iqor, will give John a regular visit on his Vet, even just for check-up...

Love you baby John...

12:02 noon

Thanks for the Lomi Uncle DD and Aunt Karen...

12:34 noon

I still have windblow... Last day of my rest day tomorrow... Waiting for rewave... Glad that I'm still receiving a mail from Iqor and waiting for a rewave....

I need money and job coz I wanted to leave Cavite, in a lil while... Days passes us by in a snap of a finger....

12:50 noon

If I'm not gonna be rewaved will get the back pay and will go to Manila... In Convergy's...

I need my good angels if they will not rewave me, will get the back pay and will apply in Convergy's... But hoping for a rewave in Iqor. I hate commuting that far but if no choice then I have to go to Manila.

Pops asked me if it is still possible for me to be rewaved and I told him yes, why not... There are so many waves there....Pops is shorty guy, Gian the supervisor who left already told me that Pops is a team leader there...

My target is to be a "product manager" as time goes by... I just need to have foundation on the floor coz I feel irritated if they can do it and why I can't...

That is the system in Iqor if you get sick and absent for more than 2 days, automatically they said it is a rewave. It is something strange for me... Rewave means they will put you on the new group where you left your topic calls for the day... For me it is weird but that's their system.

It shows that I'm really "powerless" here if I can't get a new wave... Another thing it is weird coz once you are hired meaning you just need to do your job as time goes by and you will get used to it ... No grading system but you just need to put a heart on it... But this is "call center industry"....

I will feel self-pity... I still want some attention from other people. Hoping to get new good friends again, along the way...

I really wanna get the "product manager or the position of Coach Melai"....

I don't like that much that Coach John coz he will always smash me, I can sense it... Will always make a way to confuse me indirectly...

1:46 pm

I still have windblow... Yeah! I need money and job... That is my main agenda...

Still feeling bitterish coz I can't do botox and collagen now... I wanted to have money... I have low self-esteem if I don't have a job... I lost men's attention.

I wanna see sand dunes and travel and buy starbucks everyday...

2:34 pm

Still,have windblow....Yeah! I wanted attention in a way and I must admit I crave for it... But our lives here is really a downfall...

There is no way for me to have a big party that I was able to do... Inviting people that I want and hoping for a support. But if not life must go on and I need to work and I want to have new set of friends again and again...

I need to recover my self-esteem coz I can't have it here in the house...

2:42 pm

What I want on my 42nd birthday...I wanna new cellphone, botox, cash and job....hahaha...

4:36 pm

Done, watching "Crime Scene: The Time Square Killer". This is about famous or notorious sex worker, no love on it...

7:15 pm

Done,eating dinner with my baby John and the rest of the gang...

I'm not satisfied with my life now... I still want working and dreaming to have my own "Pet Store" someday.

I still feel fat, ugly and wrinkled....I need a new phone angels... Whew! But I don't have enough fundings for now, it is somehow frustrating.

I still wanna do my abs....Still, thinking of my job and facing maturity but aiming to achieve something like I still have plans to see the sand dunes in ilocos. Gain new friends again and again not the fake people such as Jen and Coach John. But I'm decent and I have maturity to flow with them...

I still wanna have collagen on my hands, feet and down there... Still, dreaming to have my own life that I can manage. I still wanna join the dog show, so frustrating... It's been 16 years and I lost xfactor and I can't get success but praying along the way to have some success...

I really wanna remove my "deep smile lines" angels... I feel old... I feel ugly! I FEEL SELF-PITY...

I miss going to amusement park most specially it will be December ( my child-like heart is still here with me ) and I still can't afford to do my starbucks hopping and buy all the tumblers... My target is to go back on AF this December to do YOGA, I'm not sure if I can... So,many frustrations...

I have so many complex that I don't wanna see some of the relatives as well as old friends that having a good cycle in life. I mean working and having their own family and having kids at the right timing...

One of the reasons I wanted to leave my family someday coz seeing them perfect even my old friends giving me this "self-pity" why they can and why I can't...

8pm

I'ma leave my door open baby... Awww!!!

youtube

10:15 pm

I texted Coach Melai that it is my last day of rest day tomorrow based on my med.cert. , will just wait for the new rewave schedule...

I still have my Iqor id and yubiki, angels....Aside from I still have windblow...

10:46 pm

I feel bitterish... I still have windblow... I don't know what to feel anymore. I have bitterness... I need money and I need a job and I can't find a baby for me aside from my first baby here,my son-dog.

I feel insecure on my family coz they feel prettier than me to the point that they are able to find their partner in life...

For 16 years it is really impossible but it is existing that nobody likes me anymore, on the men that I targeted.

Nobody is putting an effort on me anymore to the point that I feel that something is wrong here and on me? One reason, I wanted to transfer in ilocos coz I hate being here in Cavite, the real emotion that I feel deep inside me...

I feel ugly and wrinkled and fat since year 2007, I feel jealous as well even on my friends that are able to have a good cycle in life... I easily feel jealous these days...

Who are these friends handling the windblow and able to mingle with each other for 16 years??? Guilty angels??? Able to enjoy life, working and able to have a safe and clean sex life...

I feel bitter for 16 years! What is happening... American,Filipino are not taking me seriously coz probably they got a " Queen Vagina" ....I feel that way... Whoever is that their "Queen Vagina"...

I really just wanna have savings or money angels! I feel super jealous even on people who are able to feel the LIFE....I wanna see sand dunes! I FEEL SELF-PITY! I NEED TO BOOST MY SELF-ESTEEM! I wanna have a job where I can progress...

11:07 pm

I feel jealous! I feel jealous I don't know... I sense something... I feel that I'm always a 2nd choice!

I just feel jealous and I don't know why.... I hate some of church of christ! I also feel something... I feel jealous on them, on some traitor Iglesia Ni Cristo. But thankful on some Iglesia Ni Cristo who are there to defend me...

#Youtube

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thornstocutyouwith · 2 years ago

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Original post here. @ofwondersandhares

Asher glared for a moment after hearing that. They had no right to tell him who he could or could not save.

But he had remained silent, for now. Only letting the other talk for the time being. His annoyance grew with every word out of thier mouth, honestly. William had to be a fool to think that his daughter was the only one worth saving. But if that were the case, then whatever William thought was worth saving about her, wasn't what Asher's thoughts on how to save her, were. She wouldn't be some deranged machine of misery and destruction, anymore.

"Yet you're still saying I should save her…" He started, bringing his hands together then "And what if that means remaking her into something less ruthless, or powerful. What if I made her good?" Though he had quite clearly failed in doing so the first time, because Darius had decided to remain majorly out of Sage's life. All Sage had wanted was a mother, but the story she was told, was that her mother was dead, and she had become obsessed with Asher in the process as she grew up. Then she became obsessed with the idea that he had killed her mother, and that the kingdom rightfully should be hers.

Asher grinned at the others telling him to bite his tongue "Of course there is…" Then he rolled his eyes a bit when it was revealed that William wasn't here for him, but for Sage. Sage, who was sentenced to another realm for her punishment in this one "Well, it was a great effort, if it means anything to you. Getting me back to this throne." Narrowing his eyes however, he hissed at William's demand "I think you're mad if you want me to do that. I can carry this weight just fine…"

Moving closer to William then, he leaned on the table, getting in closer to the others personal space "And if you plan to change that, I don't think you'll like the ending to that, because I'll show you what a truly heartless king, can do." Smirking, he tapped the tip of Williams nose "Stay away from my family, and keep whatever scheme you are considering, away from my people."

#Para #Asher #AsherPara #WilliamPara #OfWondersAndHares #WonderlandAU #WonderlandAsher

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exols-silver-christmas · 15 days ago

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No apolgies needed.

A snake biting it's own tail.....that's a good way of putting it.

As for this^^ there's been some interest in a more interactive community, as evidenced by those who've commented and replied, so we start there. Sort of a "if you build it they will come" type of deal. We try and spread the word and if it doesn't work at least we tried.

To that end....I..and I'm terrible for just jumping in feet first, but I've already started putting together sort of community focused hub blog to go hand in hand with the Tumblr community I applied for the other day after a couple of people mentioned it.(I have no idea how long they take to be approved which is why I jumpstarted that particular process, but I haven't heard back yet.) I figured there were enough good ideas to be starting with and hey! no time like the present? So uh yes...that's kinda already in motion. Blame the adhd.

So to combine the things people were suggesting: I used your suggestion of a transit blog and event blog combined. A one stop shop for all of exols needs. The blog could track a specific tag and add everything in the tag to the queue...maybe once or twice a week to minimize the amount of work needed. It'd have the directory...which...if it's submission based to be put on it just send a dm or an ask (i also really like the idea you said of blogs having an about me post that could be linked) of ...it shouldnt take too much effort to maintain...adding a few links here and there after the initial rush wouldn't be a big hassle and updating it every six months...would really only involve checking the links and the time stamp on the blogs latest post.

It would have a library masterpost, where we could compile fic or even all fan creation masterlists; again submission based for ease of maintenance and checking the links work once every 6 months or so. The monthly event masterposts could also go in here.

I also thought a resource post would be good. Links to the offical group media accounts and the members personal ones. Maybe some links to make finding thier acting appearances easier, there's a good blog out that that's compiled many of the videos and I have a few google doc links saved for the downloaded lives that got saved. And whatever else a new or old exol might need to find. (Ideas?)

And as for events...I mocked up a calendar....subject to change of course but just something to get an idea of things and a starting point. I figured a poll for things like day and time to run events wouldn't go amiss.

But the events I tentatively have blocked out are

The monthly prompt, drop it on the 1st of the month and have the deadline set for the last day of the month to be included on the months masterlist. (Wondering if there should be a minimum requirement? Or just so long as it includes the prompt?) [This would help generate new content]

Weekly thematic prompts that are at least tangential to the monthly prompt, for those that want to do shorter drabbles or quicker fanart edit pieces. [Another way to get people back into making things]

Book club! People can submit fics they'd like for participants to read, a poll to decide which one and at the end of the month we could discuss them. Could also include shorter works ....we'd just do a couple of them instead of just one. [Would divide into shipping fics and reader insert/oc] [this would get people talking about our writers and thier work maybe even encourage them to comment more]

Art Gallery Night. Similar to book club but fanart and edit focused people wouldnhave the opportunity to share thier favourite pieces and what they enjoyed about them, what draws them to it etc. [Again something to spark discussion between blogs. Still contemplating logistics]

Workshop Wednesdays. This one heavily depends on how the tumblr community function works, but the idea behind it is to metaphorically gather and share about our ongoing fan creation projects, or ask for advice from other creators or share a life hack that you found that works. That sort of thing. [Would hopefully help to motivate people to continue or even pick up creating.]

Exo watch alongs. What it says on the tin, we'd have a poll on what to watch and every one watches it together and talks about it as it goes on. [Another idea to get people talking to each other.]

Holidays and birthdays. Have a valentines day exchange for example or spooky stories at halloween etc. People can share posts about the member whose birthday it is.

Sleepover Saturdays. This is kinda similar to something....I think it was @prettywordsyouleft used to do. Again logistics would depend on how the tumblr community function works, but the memes and tag games and the questionnaires and mad libs etc that @ffff7777 suggested would go here. Just an hour or so of fun once a week. People could submit stuff like uquizzes they found or made and whatever we don't use could go towards the next week's activities.

Potentially? Like....a lot of the exo content I see crossing the dash...when I see it...it's all older posts. I have recently developed a habit of checking the original timestamps on things and if you ever look....we have posts still making the rounds that were originally posted from 2017, and that's just the oldest one I've seen lately.

This isn't a bad idea at all, anything that helps alleviate some of the mental labour is a good thing imo. Another option would be to take submissions for prompts and use those to power the polls.

Yes! It was during one of their concert ments! One of thier live streamed ones...it kinda became a bit if a meme at the time...but he was teasing exols about thier phones and posting to social media and he specifically mentioned posting to Tumblr. So yeah our precious leader knows about us. As for the analytics....it's a real possibility especially when you consider that back when Tumblr was hosting celebrity ama, side note does Tumblr still do those? I haven't seen a notice for one in a while. Anyway, the websites been used in the past as part of movie or music promotions, Dennys had a Tumblr blog as part of thier marketing strategy until like 2019. TikTok might be the most popular social media atm but that doesn't mean companies are gonna disregard all other sources of data. Truthfully it's probably just a matter of percentages.

Anyway. Like I mentioned above...I've got a jump start in organizing things, as for help it'll be a matter of potentially finding a few admins to help run the events themselves, because there's definitely gonna be days id miss simply because of work, and to get people to help spread the word to the active blogs out there. Honestly it might be a good idea to reach out to some of the popular writers and see if they'd be willing help out and promote the idea once the blogs details are polished.

And I don't know if I've said this yet, but thank you, to you and to everyone else who's thrown in ideas. I'm starting to have hope again for our fandom, I know I definitely feel much more enthused being proactive about things. So thank you for the help and input.

So I can't be the only one who's noticed the decline in fanmade exo content here on Tumblr. We've gone from a fandom who's new posts could be measured in hours to a fandom who's posts have days....to weeks....to months....to even years for some specific tags.

We have had 6 solo album comebacks this year, 3 fancon tours, 2 solo concert tours, a myriad of festival concert appearances, youtube videos, magazine shoots, instalives, etc. Yet if you go to the exo tag it's mainly populated by archive blogs. And the nude bots, which....that's a whole other problem on its own. I digress. My point being, the tags, at least from what I've seen (I admit I haven't looked into the shipping tags) are being filled by the same handful of blogs yet given the high amount of source material, no one seems to be doing anything with it beyond archiving it.

Again this could just be because I didn't delve too deep or too far back, but it does have me wondering if part of the reason participation this year was down was simply because there's hardly anyone left.

There's been instances in the past where others have attempted to inject new life into the fandom so to speak, with....varying...level of success. The exo revival project being the first and most successful that comes to mind. I'm wondering what everyone else's thoughts are on the matter and if holding new fandom events might be a way to involve more people year round because I really do want to continue holding this event next year but if things keep going the way they have been there won't be anyone signing up.

Let me know what you think, ideas you might have, reblog this and tag your mutuals to get them involved in the discussion. I have a few ideas that I've pilfered from other fandoms, watch alongs. Fic bingo. Theres valentines exchanges. Fandom sleepovers. Heck I'd set up a Tumblr based scavenger hunt if I thought people would play. Like....we dont have to be monoliths in a placid sea of we don't want to. Fandom can be fun. It should be fun.

#exo #baekhyun #minseok #chanyeol #jongdae #junmyeon #yixing #kyungsoo #sehun #jongin

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 2 years ago

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Halloween prompt no 31 (part 7)

Danny was having a rough time. His world had been destroyed by his idiot parents and now not only is he left to grieve almost everyone he loved alone, he was deaged to a small child and was forced to take care of a de-aged infant Ellie!

He never changed a diaper before, and while he's still mostly a fourteen year old mentally hewas mentally regressing at a rapid pace due to whatever Vlad shot them with before he died. Ellie is entirely a baby, not a thought behind those icy blue eyes. It was only a matter of time before he started acting his age whether he liked it or not, he needed to find safety for the both of them before that point or else they would be stuck running around the crime capital of the world at night as a toddler and a baby respectively. Even if their powers weren't shorted out they were going to get kidnapped.

So when he saw one of those bat people he only hesitated for a moment before he ran up to them and declared that they were his new Mommy. The bat lady was dressed all in black with nothing showing, the only thing that really stood out was the yellow bat symbol on her chest. She seemed to panic to a bit, trying to persuade him to go home.

He looked up at her with his big watery blue eyes, "But you are my home mommy. Don't you want us?" He asked, chin wabbling as he raised baby Dani up near his face, hoping thier combined cuteness would break her resolve.

It seemed to almost work but someone jumped down to the ally they were in and interrupted. A lady in purple said something about him, "Fitting the profile" but Dannys mind was gone at that point, replaced with the mind of a child. One that was adamant that the vigilante was his mom.

Unbeknownst to Danny, Oracle had heard everything from the beginning and patched the others through. The whole chat was in chaos trying to figure out who this kid was and how in the world someone mistook Cass in costume as thier mother.

Bruce thought raising kids and teenagers was hard, but this toddler got into everything! They kept pulling him away from the columnar trees that he insisted on trying to climb only for him to somehow get almost to the top once before crying his heart out. Someone had to get a ladder and get him down. At least he never tried to climb the tree again.

Another time he somehow got ahold of a jar of peanut butter and Bruce watched the kid shove his fist into it and lick his hand clean before repeating the process.

The baby was a saint in comparison. She didn't do much except cry. Cass had gone somewhere out of the city (probably to avoid this situation) and the boy has not taken it well. Alfred, bless him, has kept the child under control ever time he needed to while making it look easy. Bruce was jealous.

Bruce gets called dad two weeks in and bluescreens for a solid five minutes.

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joy-haver · 2 years ago

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On Science, Denialism, and Community

These content warnings apply to 1 specific section, which is marked.

Cw colonialism, white supremacy, ableism, racism, eugenics.

✨✨✨information and trust ✨✨✨

I keep seeing people, who all have otherwise very thought out belief systems, saying things like “trust science” and “we wouldn’t have all these problems if people had better critical thinking skills” and “people just need to listen to the research.”

If you agree with one of those statements, I want you to really think it through for a minute.

Do you make all of your decisions based on research? Do you get all of your information from peer reviewed journals? If so, what are your standards for what you consider good research? Do you rerun all the numbers to make sure they didn’t make any mistakes? Do you check all the citations that the article your reading relies on and make sure that each of those is up to your standards? What about the citations of those articles? How do you know that the numbers they have you are true? How do you know the peer reviewers weren’t paid by the same company, or the same industry? How do you know for sure that there aren’t 100 studies that say the exact opposite thing that never saw the light of day because no one would publish them?

And like, of course you don’t do those things. You can’t answer all those questions. It’s literally impossible to always act on the best information available and always check everything. At some point, you are relying on trust. It’s just a question of how much trust, and who you are trusting.

Science denialism is one thing that can happen when that trust is broken. And, as I’ll describe bellow, that trust will be broken for anyone whose paying attention

✨✨✨Science as an institution ✨✨✨

I think it’s important to remember that the vast majority of what this society has called “science” over the years had been little more than propaganda pieces to justify colonialism, eugenics, and white supremacy. Anyone whose ever worked with data can show you how to manipulate it. But you don’t even need to manipulate it on purpose to do bad science. Hell, for most of the research that happens in this country, the grant selection process manipulates the data on its own. You can make science justify almost anything. The scientific method is okay as a framework, but it is not perfect. And the institutions that exist around it are very good at using the imperfections of the method to create their own propaganda. And they have a nice little shield of science to hide it behind.

But really, take a look around you. The scientific method has brought us many good results, but the idea of science has also justified the worlds worst atrocities. All social harms that exist today exist, in part, becuase they were given scientific justifications. Because at the end of the day, science will tell you whatever you want it to. Information that pushes back may come into existence sometimes, but it will be ignored unless it can be used to someone’s advantage.

[content warnings start here]

Even so called “good science” that genuinely is an attempt at finding truth and understanding reality is not morally neutral. Every advancement has its uses. Advancements in plastics might mean more plastic is made. Advancements in mathematics means more bombs. Advancements in psychology are used to propagandize you. Advancements in medicine are used to create more effective eugenics. Sure, sometimes advancements may help you a little. But the always help power maintain itself more. And sure, sometime s good science that isn’t useful to the system slips thru the cracks, but they will find a way to reincorporate it into the matchine.

And if that’s what the good science does, what about the bad science?

The sterilization and murder of disabled people, of black people, of immigrants, of indigenous people STILL happens in the name of science, separating indigenous people from thier families was done in the name of science. All of the fatshaming that we’ve propagated around the globe has been done in the name of science, and that has a death toll too. Capitalism is justified in the name of science. Incarceration is justified in the name of science. State power is justified in the name of science. Colonizing countries, destroying indigenous food ways, forcing people into sweatshops is done in the name of science.

The murder machine that is the USA relies on science, The propaganda machine that keeps people believing in it relies on science.

[content warnings end here]

And if you’ve ever tried to talk someone out of a belief that’s based in bad science, even committed and nuanced researchers, even using good data, most of them won’t change their minds. How could they? Because what’s the alternative? Aren’t the only two options to be committed to science or to deny it entirely?

✨✨✨Denial ✨✨✨

I think the reason we see so much total science denialism is because people start down the right track. They start to realize that a lot of what they were taught in the name of science is bullshit, and they are correct. You see this a lot with disabled people. Someone will realize, thru personal experiences, that doctors don’t know shit and are making most of it up as they go, and that even the research they do have is usually misguided or flat out wrong. And then they’ll say fuck it, I guess everything they say is a lie. And that’s where you get science denialism.

The problem doesn’t start with the denialists. It starts with the institution. And the more you tell people to just “trust the institution”, the more they will understand that you have no idea what you are talking about. You will push them further into their belief, because you are denying the existence of the very real problems they are pointing out.

But you know who is willing to listen? You know who is willing to understand them, and to teach them even more things that are “wrong”? The climate change deniers. The antivaxers. The TERFs. They are willing to soothe the part of someone that feels hurt, and betrayed, and lied to. They are willing to take that anger and give it a direction. They are willing to say “your right, and I’m sorry. Here’s what we can do about it”.

The only reason I didn’t go down that same path of denial is because I have a lot of free time to find and read academic studies, and I have enough training to understand most of what I read, or at least to know how to find information to understand. And also because I have a lovely community around me. But most people can’t do the research I’ve done, and even if they could, they wouldn’t have the time, and even if they did, no one person can be fully informed on every topic. And they shouldn’t have to be. But we literally cannot trust a single one of these institutions. Science has just as much blood on its hands as the church, and it’s trying it’s best to outpace it. Science is made of lies and propaganda. Can you really fault people for overcorrecting and going full denialist?

As long as we treat it as tho the problem is the denialists, we’ll just be creating the circumstances for more denialism.

✨✨✨ Community ✨✨✨

Remember what I said about trust? About how, at some point, you have to trust someone. Well, here’s the good news. You can actively choose who that will be. This is called community building.

For this to work, you have to be committed to reality. You can’t believe that things just happen, you have to understand that everything is causal, and you have to understand the causes of everything. You must be committed to making your worldview as consistent as possible, and you must be willing to foster that in other people.

Now, it’s not easy. And to do a good job of it, you have to have already interrogated a lot of your beliefs. You have to have a strong system of values and standards that you hold yourself and others to.

But if you have that, you can start to build communities of people you trust. You can split up some of the labor of coming up with ideas and unlearning, and then you can share it with each other. Now, you still have to be critical, even (especially) of the people you trust. You still have to put in work. But doing it as a community means that you won’t have to do so much work. You can share the load of unlearning and relearning. And you can use some of the information science gave you, but you have to verify it, and really think it through.

And when someone comes to you and tells you something, listen to the truth of it. Even if they are lying to you, listen for how they got to the point where they feel that they need to. Even if they are factually wrong, listen for the truth of the experiences that made them believe that. And comfort that part of them. Affirm their pain, affirm their mistrust, and don’t be angry with them. Instead, point them down a path that’s more grounded in reality, and introduce them to community.

✨✨✨closing statement✨✨✨

So many anarchists and likeminded folks realize that we must destroy institutions of power, and that the only way to do that is through community building. Science, heck, even Knowledge itself, is an institution. And of all the institutions we need to destroy and remake, it’s one of the most important. Because the institutions that we can’t live without, the ones that provide the most important services, are the institutions we must replace first. Our systems for food, housing, socializing, conflict resolution, and of course, our systems for making meaning, all need to be replaced before the old ones can be destroyed.

Revolution is not the act of chopping down the Great Tree of Power. Revolution is the act of growing a forest around it, choking it to death by removing its access to light and nutrients, until it is nothing but rot to feed our soil.

[Edit: I want to say that i don’t think I did a perfect job writhing this, and I am very very thankful for any critiques. I think I make have expressed myself only about 65% of how I would like to. I appreciate any add-ins or critiques or thoughts about it]

#anti doctor #antipsychiatry #antipsychology #disabled #disability justice #physical disability #anarcho disability #anarchism #mutual aid #prefigurative politics #spoonie #cpunk #cripple punk #science #research #science denial #dual power #power

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kru-sader · 2 years ago

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So I was avoiding the topic of the New Abortion law in US altogether- simply because it leaves me feeling disturbed and helpless. But the amount of rage I am feeling right now after hearing and reading the views of some "Pro-lifers" needs to be expressed.

You bet I will be guffawing shamelessly everytime I hear an American (or non-american) call America "the land of the free" or "the greatest country in the world" from now. And that too without the fear of offending someone 'cause it's only the conservatives who would think of America like that and I don't care about them.

I do not live in America. Neither do I plan to. But I can't express how much anger and desperation I feel for those who are going to suffer the consequences of the narcissism of the people who do not deserve the right to be making these decisions in the first place.

So many Americans are so quick to point out the "plight" of women and people in general in third world countries. But as an Indian (a country notorious for being one of the most male-dominated ones in the world) this new development has killed whatever little thoughts I had left of America being a somewhat better country for women in the back of my mind. The American leaders who think they are making thier country "great" might want to know that they are a disappointment to the entire human race. And so is every dysfunctional human who's currently celebrating and chanting "the babies will not be murdered now".

It is not even a disappointing verdict, it is straight up ridiculous and appalling. Every one of their logic sounds stupid. Their decision to strip women and let's be honest kids(that happen to be female) off of their rights to their own body in the US doesn't affect people throughout the world physically, but it is enough to scare every single person of the female population that we might again be reduced to second class citizens with no rights against oppression. Even if that day doesn't come for me, my heart still breaks for every woman that'll be forced to conceive and will probably be burdened with a child for the rest of her life without the means of supporting it, every child that will end up in foster care with a horrible future ahead, every SA survivor (no matter how young) whose trauma will not just be disregarded but also piled upon, every girl who will have to go through an unsafe and risky abortion, every one of them who will unfortunately lose their life or suffer bodily harm in the process, every one of them who will get charged with upto 15 years of prison sentence if they get caught, every woman that will have her dreams crushed and will have to struggle, every child that will have to carry and raise another and told CONGRATULATIONS!!! you are now a mother...

in short EVERY LIFE THAT WILL BE RUINED TO "SAVE" EVERY SINGLE FERTILISED EGG IN AMERICA THAT ARE BEING REFERRED TO AS "BABIES".

How Pro-Life of these people. Great work guys 👍

Also, I've done a little research but due to lack of information would greatly appreciate it if someone could let me know what are the things I can do about this matter as a non- American.

#roe v wade #reproductive justice #pro-choice #abortion rights #healthcare #abortion #abortion is healthcare #abortion is a human right #human rights

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violet-knox · 4 years ago

Note

heyy :) I saw that your asks were open and of course I read your rules before coming here and I was wondering if you can write an adult snape fic where the reader is a fellow professor that he’s know from his childhood and they start to rekindle thier relationship

thanks in advance and keep up the great work !! <33

Gifts of the Past

Pairing: Snape x Professor!Reader

Summary: Severus thought his week couldn’t get any worse after finding out he’d need to teach his Slytherin’s to dance until Dumbledore announces the arrival of a new Professor joining the staff.

Word Count: 6207

A/N: So when I read these requests, this idea formed in my head and I couldn’t help but merge them (side note: as the first request didn’t specify a gender while the second did, I adhered to the first). I hope both requests were satisfied while also providing a unique piece to the ever growing list of snape x reader stories on here and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you to both anons (I’m assuming you’re two different people) for your asks and your kind words!

Also I know the gif I picked is suggestive but the reader is gender neutral which I’m proud of because it was very difficult to keep it that way with the dancing scenes. I just thought the gif was so beautiful when I found it, just look at that cuff 🤤 but the gif choice doesn’t hint to the reader’s gender or race as it may appear.

Nothing could have brightened his mood more than the thought of him walking into the Great Hall and finding the entire school deserted. It was really the only way Merlin could make up for the hand he’d been dealt this year and every other year since Potter invaded Hogwarts. This year however, the boy was clearly attempting to test his natural gift to bring trouble as the past three years hadn’t provided him with sufficient danger to prove his talent. It was bad enough he’d brought such a dangerous tournament to the school, but of course he had to go and get himself picked despite being underaged. Severus felt like he hadn’t gone a day without stressing since Dumbledore first made the announcement about the Triwizard Tournament and just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, the old Wizard had to instruct the head of houses to prepare their students for the Yule ball, as if the schools only Potion’s Master didn’t already have enough on his plate.

He’d spent the rest of the day sulking after his attempts to persuade the Headmaster someone else should take up the privilege of teaching his Slytherin’s to dance failed. Sleep could barely find him last night as he kept hoping he’d wake up from this nightmare, that the universe would cut him a break, but it was clear as he walked by the tables housing the school’s guests, his eyes shooting Dumbledore daggers as he passed the smiling man on his way to his seat at the high table, that he wouldn’t rest so long as Potter slept under the same roof as him. He slouched in his seat and waited for the day to begin so he could look forward to its end, staring so hard at the table before him, he was sure it would eventually catch fire if food didn’t replace his rage soon.

Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat to make his morning announcements, Severus finding himself focussing his anger towards him the more he rambled on about the first task and the current status of the tournament. His resentment towards the man only grew as he mentioned the Yule ball until he introduced the new professor who would replace Septima Vector for Arithmancy until the end of the year, a very familiar name washing away all his anger and replacing it with absolute horror. His head snapped to the side as he watched you stand with a smile, waving at the students who clapped for you. Severus’ eyes widened as he forced himself to join them, giving a few shallow claps but finding himself unable to slip out of the astoundment he found himself in.

You smiled and looked over towards Severus as you sat back down, sensing everyone’s anticipation for breakfast to begin. You caught his eye and saw the shock written all over his face before breaking your stare and shifting your eyes to your lap. At least the expression on his face told you he hadn’t tried to ignore you when he’d walked right past you this morning to his seat at the high table. There were no words to describe how you’d been feeling today. Nervous about your first day as a professor at Hogwarts, concerned about being accepted into the family of staff, anxious to see Severus again after all these years and absolutely heartbroken when he didn’t even acknowledge you as he walked past you like you meant nothing to him.

The food appeared in front of you not long after you sat down, but you could hardly find your appetite as you felt Severus continuously glancing your way every chance he got. You did your best to chat with your new colleagues, keeping up polite conversation as they ate while you picked at your food. You watched Severus chug whatever beverage was in his goblet as he left his own plate completely untouched. He was the first to leave the table, watching with a frown as he slinked away behind some side door with no idea where it led. You let out a small sigh as you sat back in your seat, beginning to wonder if this career choice was a good idea. When Dumbledore approached you, mentioning Severus was now teaching at Hogwarts, serving as Potion’s master and Head of Slytherin, you felt excited. You’d missed him over the years since graduation, finding yourself regretting a lot about your relationship as time went on. But you’d taken this job offer as a sign to reconnect, a second chance to do what you didn’t have the courage for back during your school days.

You were so naive back then, thinking letters would be enough to keep you in contact with him after graduation, that you were closer to Severus than it seemed, but it was nothing more than a silly illusion created by your imagination. Looking back, you’d found yourself always claiming there was no good time to tell him how you felt, that you really liked him as something more than just a friend, but that was just an excuse for the fear you held onto every time you thought of him rejecting you. After seeing how close he was with Lily, how he buried himself in his schoolwork and made new friends when their friendship burned to the ground, you’d tried to push yourself, to be there for him and show him there was still someone in his life who thought he was worthy. But no matter what you did, you felt nearly as invisible as you did now, and perhaps in all these years since the war had ended, nothing had truly changed.

One by one, professors and students began to file out of the Great Hall and as the room emptied, you slowly began to find yourself in complete distress, unsure of what to do about Severus, about this job and your possible conflict of interest. Pushing through, you tried to ignore your feelings and all thoughts of the Potion’s Master to focus on your classes. The day went by faster than you’d initially thought, each class easier than the last as the students seemed to accept you and your teaching style. Before you knew it, dinner had rolled around and knowing Severus had skipped lunch, eating nothing at breakfast, you anticipated seeing him already seated at the high table when you entered the room. Pausing a moment, you debated on what you should do, but your heart had already decided for you, your feet walking faster than you could process until you found yourself taking a seat next to him.

“Hi Sev.” You spoke in such a low voice, soft yet reserved, like you were introducing yourself to a complete stranger. It saddened you that you felt so nervous with Severus when you used to be so close once upon a time. He looked back at you with those wide eyes of his and the more you stared into them, the more you felt like you didn’t know him at all.

“(Y/N).” He stated your name with just a hint of surprise in his tone like his child-self was introducing you to him. He’d spent the day with such a headache thinking about what happened this morning, about you and everything that’s piled onto him. When he thought of you, he remembered the childhood friend who’d stuck by his side, who he’d taken for granted and who he could talk to about anything. But he struggled to feel that way again, to feel comfortable enough around you to open up to you and he wished that wasn’t the case. He needed someone to talk to, he needed someone there by his side these past few miserable years, but he could see now that he truly wasn’t deserving of such a thing, that he’d forever spend his life alone because that’s the card he’d dealt himself all those years ago and he had no right to try and get back what he’d lost.

“It’s nice to see you again.” You smiled, hoping this dense air between you would lighten with a bit of small talk. You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, his friendship and how close you once were. Everything was so much simpler back when you were eleven, still new to Hogwarts and oblivious to the world’s problems. Now, everything was different. You were both grown adults with responsibilities, changed as people and you weren’t even sure you’d mix well with him anymore.

“You too.” Severus happily retorted your attempt at making small talk, desperate to clasp at anything that could restore your lost friendship. Even as food appeared before him, he made no notion of filling his plate, his attention instead lay completely with you. “I-I had no idea you were joining the staff this year.”

You broke your gaze from his eyes and looked down at the table filled with food, your goblet was full and ready to be drunk, every other person in the room already indulging themselves in a well deserved meal. Looking over at Severus’ plate you found it as empty as yours, like he hadn’t even noticed the food had appeared as his eyes continued to study you while you slowly began to fill your plate, feeling less and less hungry as the seconds ticked by.

“It was a last minute decision,” you said, continuing to avoid his eyes as you began to nibble on a muffin. Severus watched you a moment, feeling comfortable enough to eat for the first time that day as he picked up a sandwich.

“I’m glad you decided to take the job,” he said, keeping his gaze on you as much as he could before munching on his food. His tone sounded so sincere and you couldn’t help but stare at him, wondering how he truly felt about you being here. This morning, you’d felt so hurt by his cold shoulder, almost ready to quit if things didn’t go as well as they did during your first lesson for your classes throughout the day. Now, here he was claiming to be happy you were sitting here beside him, and you so badly wanted to believe that.

“Oh?” you asked curiously, hoping he meant what he said, hoping there was a chance to at least regain your old friendship. “Because it didn’t seem that way this morning.”

Severus’ eyes suddenly took on the weight of the world as he looked down at his lap. You could feel his own disappointment in himself, his shoulders slouching, his hair falling over his face in the same way it always did when you were kids. Clearly things hadn’t changed that much, and you were almost happy to see you still knew him as well as you did.

“I apologize. I admit, you’ve caught me in a rather unpleasant mood,” Severus stated, feeling guilty for how he’d acted this morning. You were right. He should have said something to you, noticed you before Dumbledore spoke your name or at the very least came to find you earlier in the day to apologize sooner.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked him, relieved his stiffened attitude wasn’t the doing of the fact you’d re-entered his life. You turned your body towards him and began to feel like a child again, meeting Severus outside in the courtyard to talk about your day, to let him unburden his issues on you as you comforted him.

“There was a Head of House meeting yesterday. We were told by the Headmaster the responsibility of preparing the students for the Yule ball lay in our hands.”

You smiled, surprising a giggle as you remembered the night of Slughorn’s party, Severus tripping over his own feet when you asked him to dance with you, though you didn’t blame him for it after he’d just gone through his growth spurt. He had no such excuse now of course, but you could tell he hadn’t danced since that day, that he worried about how a lesson may go with his students, especially after the reputation you heard he held as a professor at Hogwarts.

“If you’d like, I could help with your lessons,” you offered without a second thought.

“You would do that?” Severus looked at you in awe, rather stunned by your selflessness after how he’d treated you. He couldn’t believe his luck, how you’d shown up just in time to help him with a secret he’d been dreading would be the talk of the entire school after he failed to teach his students to dance. He could only imagine the loss of respect he’d gain after working so hard to earn it all these years, how the students would make fun of him, how he’d never be able to step foot in the staffroom again without being ridiculed.

“Of course. Anything for an old friend.” You sounded almost hurt as you spoke, knowing he’d likely see you as nothing more than an old friend. But if the universe had placed you in this new job, pushed you to him, perhaps you were meant to take the second chance and risk your current relationship with him. You were after all being trusted enough to help him develop his dancing skills, something you were sure the scary professor of the dungeons wouldn’t easily entrust to anyone. “Care to begin after dinner?”

Severus nodded with a smile, a look of content settling on his face and for a moment, you could have sworn you saw his eyes twinkle, something you hadn’t seen since the first day he’d stepped foot on Hogwarts grounds. You both continued your meal, Severus feeling calmer as he continued speaking with you, catching up on what you’d been up to all these years. Thoughts of the tournament, the upcoming war, the Potter boy’s knack for finding trouble slipping his mind if not for a brief moment. He allowed himself instead to turn back the clock to a time much simpler than his current life, a time where Lily was still alive, where he still had a friend who cared about him. He’d taken for granted so much of his life as a boy, so much of his younger years spent filled with hatred and resentment towards those he blamed for making him miserable that he’d missed all the good parts he could only hope to regain now as an adult. You were the one constant in his life, the one thing that didn’t complicate his life, the one person he could count on and he’d completely dismissed what you had to offer. He was a fool for focussing on what he didn’t have rather than what he did have, a greedy teenager who should have seen what was right in front of his eyes.

Finishing off your food, you followed Severus down to the dungeons once the crowd of students had scattered throughout the castle. You walked alongside him, unable to help yourself from smiling at how easily you’d both settled back into your old selves, back to when your only concerns involved grades and who would win the next Quidditch match. You felt oddly nostalgic as you looked around the potion’s classroom, the layout exactly the same as when you were a student. You took your time to look around as Severus wove his wand and cleared some space. Walking up to the desk at the front of the room, you picked up the old quill sitting next to a pile of scrolls in the corner.

“You still have this?” You smiled as you ran the tips of your fingers along the feather, still intact and preserved rather well after all these years. You could still remember the look on Severus’ face when you’d given him the quill set you’d spent the majority of your money on for Christmas in your seventh year; complete shock with a dash of regret that he couldn’t afford something equally as stunning. He’d promised that one day he’d repay your kindness, that when he’d made something of himself, he’d buy you something worth ten times as much as the quill set that had gotten him through his Potion’s Mastery and all his days as a professor.

As time passed, the memory the quill held began to fade and slowly, he’d forgotten the promise he made. He walked over to you and took the quill from your hand, realizing just how much he truly had to make up for after all these years. He set it back down on the desk and began to wonder if Merlin had sent you here for a reason, if his redemption wasn’t just about protecting Lily’s son, but about reconnecting with those who’d supported him, who he’d brushed away and to take the second chance at a normal life he was being offered.

“I never thanked you properly for that gift,” he said under his breath as he stared at the quill, now the centerpiece of his desk, a new reminder for what he owed you. His eyes filled with longing, the sparkle you saw earlier slowly dwindling away as he hung his head low. You looked at him with such awe. Life had not been kind to him since graduation, that was clear through the weight he carried. He frowned when you asked him what he’d been up to since you last saw him, flashes of all his mistakes, all his sins passing before him. You could see it and it pained you to know that he hadn’t lived through the dreams he’d once shared with you as a child.

“You don’t need to thank me Sev, that was a long time ago,” you told him with a smile, beyond touched that he’d kept something as simple as a quill when you knew he could afford much better now. He’d taken care of it, even kept the original nibs that came with the set and the inkwell which no doubt had to take a chunk of his time just to clean it out and refill.

Taking his hand, you led him to the center of the classroom, turning to face him, gently positioning his hands to begin your first dry run of the dance you would soon share with him every evening before bed. His limbs obeyed you as you took his hand and pressed yourself to him, closer than you’d been all those years back when he’d first danced with you.

“Just, take it slow and let me lead. And then we can switch,” you whispered to him as you began to sway across the floor. The room fell into a soft silence as you led him, his feet struggling to follow yours at first, but he was a quick study as usual. Eventually, you felt confident enough in his movements to let him lead, switching position as you continued to sway in silence, Severus’ eyes lost in yours until the minutes passed by, turning into days. Before you knew it, you’d spent every evening after dinner for the past week with Severus, dancing with him for hours until it was time for bed.

You’d never felt so close to someone as you did with him now, like that missing part of your soul had finally found itself again. A week had passed, yet you felt like you’d lived here for years as he had. Every time he held you in his arms, your heart slowed to match his even beat, your eyes flickering between his and his lips. You wanted to tell him how you felt about him, how much you’d admired him, how you’d always loved and cared about him even when he didn’t notice you, but every time you tried, your heart collapsed in on itself, stopping you in fear of ruining what you had now just like it had when you were kids. The emotions you felt when he pulled you closer were too much, when he looked deep into your eyes and gave you that smile like he was trying to bring you both back to that night at Slughorn’s party, how different things may have turned out if he’d known how to dance. Perhaps you would have had the courage to tell him how you felt then, kissed him before he’d tripped over himself. Time was such a delicate fragment in the ensembled artwork of the universe, affected by every movement, every word spoken by every human being on earth.

Looking into his eyes, you saw that same twinkle he seemed to only let shine for you. It had been him who’d insisted he needed to practice again and again every night. It was him who’d always led you to his classroom, locking the doors and even bringing music to keep you both company as you danced the night away. He was as mysterious as the students had said, as lonely as your colleagues had told you, but you didn’t want to believe it. He was still that boy you met in the library in first year no matter the life he lived.

“Severus?” you whispered, his face so close to yours, his hands holding yours tightly. He looked at you with wonder, waiting for your words, for the question he knew you’d kept on the tip of your tongue since the day you'd arrived. He feared it, worried about what you may think of him if he answered it truthfully. He had yet to share everything about his life, how he’d betrayed your memory, his promise to you, that he was to blame for the death of their friend. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

You sounded so nervous, your eyes shifting down to look away from him and his concern suddenly grew. He stopped his motions as he held you still, waiting for the words he feared would slip your tongue. His hand tightened his hold on you, needing you to stay with him, to keep him company. You’d become the only thing this past week that kept him at peace, that kept him alive. He looked forward to your evenings together, the thought of simply swaying through the classroom the only thing keeping him whole.

“What is it?” he mumbled cautiously, a bit of resentment present in his tone.

You’d terrified him, you could see your words worried him to no end. You couldn’t tell how he would react if you told him the truth and you weren’t sure if you could handle it. You’d both cherished every moment you had together again, cherished the past, the present and the future you could see alongside one another, but you weren’t sure how much you could bear the days if all he saw in you was an old friend. Thoughts of how happy he’d seemed the last few days roamed in your mind, playing on repeat, bleeding into your childhood memories. You could almost feel your emotions reciprocated as you looked at him, your chest pressed to his as you leaned in, Severus frozen in his place, his mind blank with awe.

Words could never be enough to describe how you felt, to tell him how much he meant to you. But Severus was never one with words anyways, never caring for them as he always read people better through their actions and as he did so now, he wondered why of all the people in the world, why of everyone you’d met in your life, he was the one you wanted to be close enough to press your lips to his. He wondered what made him so special, why he was so lucky to have you showing your affection for him through the gentle touch of a kiss. Your lips were barely parted, moving slower then he had when he danced with you. He could feel your nerves as you kissed him slowly wither away when he kissed you back.

Your hands grasped at him, and for a moment, when he felt you pull your hand away from his, he thought the moment had ended, only to be snapped back into it as your fingers were buried in his hair. Your free hand tugged at the ascot he wore, Severus finding himself pulled into you as you walked backwards, your lips never leaving his. You moved your lips eagerly until your back hit the wall, pulling Severus closer as you encouraged him to press himself into you. He moaned into your kiss, his hands wrapping around you, one pressed into your lower back, the other between your shoulder blades. His senses heightened as he tried to memorize the feeling of your kiss, of your figure under his fingertips, your chest against his, your legs entangling themselves with his.

You were almost disappointed when you both parted for air, huffing as you tried to catch your breaths, but the look on his face was more than worth the loss of contact. He looked as if he was still questioning reality, like he wasn’t sure about your intentions and of course, as before, words couldn’t help him make sense of the situation. Your hand slipped out of his hair instead and cupped his jaw, your thumb swiping across his cheek as he nuzzled into your touch. You could see the weight of the world returning as his smile weakened, his eyes closed as the soft sound of the music filled the room.

It broke your heart to see him like this, like he found himself unworthy of love, like he thought himself destined to be alone. You began peppering him with light kisses over his cheek, his nose, his jaw, what little skin of his neck you could reach until you finally saw his smile returning to his face. He opened his eyes and held his hand up to press against yours, still nuzzling into your touch as the twinkle in his eyes sparkled brighter than before.

“I’m not the same person you once knew,” he whispered, his heart breaking with every word, his instinct to push you away overtaking his need to have you as close to him as possible. He could hardly believe you felt this way about him, that after all these years, he’d been blinded by his own hatred to see what was in front of him and here he was trying to ruin what had yet to even be explored.

“Well, I’d be willing to get to know the new you if you’ll allow it,” you said softly, smiling as you showed no interest in running away from the spark between you.

“(Y/N), there’s something about my past you should know-”

“Sev,” you interrupted him when you saw the hurt in his eyes, the pain he brought on himself during such a sweet moment. You’d waited years for this day, and you weren’t about to let him ruin it when you knew he needed a moment like this. A short period of time to simply exist in the presence of someone that loved him, to forget the rest of the world and live in the moment. “You don’t have to tell me anything now.”

You knew he wasn’t ready, that he was only pushing himself to tell you whatever it was weighing on him because you’d kissed him. But you could wait until he was comfortable enough to share, until the time was right and now was not that time. You’d learned a lot this past week, how truly stressed he was, how the Yule Ball was far from the only thing that had him stressing every second of every day. He needed a chance to relax, to find harmony in his life and whatever secret he wanted to tell you would do the exact opposite.

Severus smiled as he felt the tension ease off his shoulders, the sound of the music returning to his ears. He reached down and took your hand, slowly stepping away as he led you back to the center of the room, offering to finish your dance, unable to thank you enough for all your patience, for everything you’d ever done for him. You happily obliged and danced the night away once more, looking forward to repeating your new routine tomorrow and the day after that until the holidays finally arrived.

He couldn’t count how many times he’d danced with you, how many kisses you shared in between, yet this morning felt nothing like the last few weeks. Today, he was to dance in front of his entire house with you, to teach them what you’d taught him and though he was utterly grateful for your lessons, he couldn’t stop the shaking pressure he felt for his reputation and the reputation of his house. He wanted to make you proud today, to help his students excel and to keep the school from spreading awful rumours like it had when he was young.

Tightening his ascot, he smoothed over his robes and ran his fingers through his hair a few times, sighing as it lay as flat as the pancakes he’d never managed to master whenever he cooked for himself. He held his head up high as he left his chambers and walked down the hall to his classroom, met with the majority of his house already waiting outside his door. You were nowhere to be found and he could hardly wait for this day to end. He let his students shuffle inside as he prepared the room for the lesson to come, minutes passing by as more students passed through those doors, but you had yet to arrive. Time was nearing and he was beginning to worry you had decided against aiding him in this particular lesson. He looked at the clock and sighed as the seconds hand passed twelve, indicating time was up.

“Gather around,” he commanded the room as silence fell around him, all eyes gleaming at him with anticipation as he felt his heart pounding with fear. “The Yule Ball, is a celebrated event taking place on the night of Christmas Eve; a tradition carried out for centuries and as students of the hosting school, students representing the house of Salazar Slytherin, I expect nothing less than an adequate performance from each one of you when the night arrives.”

Severus spoke to each of his students, walking down the classroom, eyeing each and every one of them. He did his best to keep his mind off of you, trying to stay focused on the task at hand instead, but you’d been at the forefront of his mind for so long and as much of a skilled legilimens as he was, even he wasn’t susceptible to the effects of the love you had for him.

“Now, the core event of the evening will of course be the dance. As such, today’s lesson will concentrate on the development of your dancing skills,” Severus froze in his place, losing his train of thought as his eyes met yours. You stood there with a smile behind all the students, closing the door behind you. “A demonstration will be presented, and you are each expected to pay attention as none of you will leave this room until you’ve performed well enough to uphold the reputation of your house.”

You pressed your lips together as you watched him address his class, rather taken back by his dominant presence. You couldn’t believe this was the same shy boy you’d met all those years ago, the same one that would rather be left alone than be placed in front of a room like this but you felt oh so proud of him and everything he’d accomplished thus far. “Professor (Y/L/N), if you may join me.”

He held out his hand for you as you stepped forward, the students parting like the sea as they stared in awe. The shock on their faces shouldn’t have surprised you, since you’d had many of them come complaining to you about all the Potion’s assignments they were being dealt, but you’d known Severus for so long now, you couldn’t imagine having any other relationship with him than the one that had blossomed over the last few weeks.

Severus led you to the centre of the room, waving his wand and allowing the music to fill the room before positioning himself waiting for the right moment to begin gliding across from floor with you. His eyes never left yours, his feet moving so elegantly. It felt nothing like the dry runs you’d done with him over the weeks, like he was almost trying to impress you. You missed how close you were to one another as you danced now, eyes all on you. But most of all, you missed the twinkle in his eyes, the smile he wore on his lips as he held you so sincerely.

“Pair up and start practicing,” he ordered and immediately you watched his students obey. It wasn’t at all like what everyone had said about the Potion’s Master. It wasn’t fear that commanded them, it was the respect and admiration they had for their Head of House that pushed them to follow his instructions without question. You smiled at him as you both continued to dance, the students following your movements, many of whom continued to look over to you as an example.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you whispered to him. Slowly throwing your arm over his shoulder to get as close to him as he’d allow in front of the students. “I was looking for this.”

You showed him your wrist and watched him let his guard down if not for a split second. His eyes analyzed the old green ribbon you had tied around your wrist, almost as well preserved as the quill he kept on his desk. He watched it disappear as you placed your hand back over his shoulder, memories of the first time you’d wrapped it around his wrist for good luck when Slytherin was playing Gryffindor in his first year during the Quidditch finals swarming his mind. That was of course, the one and only time he saw his team win the Quidditch cup during his days as a student, his first and only time to have worn that ribbon, giving it back to you in complete dismissal after the game. He’d abandoned you that night, choosing to party with his housemates who he hoped to fit in with over the simple celebration you’d invited him to. You looked so hurt the next day and it took a long while before you spoke to him again. But despite the horrible memories, the guilt he felt now, you’d still kept that ribbon and it warmed his heart.

“I thought since you were so nervous about today, I’d wear it for luck,” you told him, hiding the fact you’d tossed the ribbon in the bottom of your trunk after he so rudely dismissed you, never to see the light of day until now. You’d debated tossing it out throughout the years, but you could never do it. It served as a reminder for what you’d almost lost, for the love you still carried and the potential your relationship with Severus had.

“(Y/N), I-I’ve been meaning to ask you,” He whispered in such a low voice, you could hardly hear what he was saying, his words spoken for your ears and yours alone. “Would you accompany me to the Ball?”

“Of course, I will.” You happily accepted his proposal as you continued to sway in his arms, your conversation coming to an end as a new song began. Severus stepped away from you, his hair covering his smile as he composed himself to address the class, instructing his students to continue practicing. You both spent the remainder of the evening helping the students, waiting to be alone once more as rumours spread throughout the school of Professor Snape’s dancing and his surprising partner. Many had looked forward to the sight, wondering how he may fare on the dance floor, though no one expected to see the grace in his movements and the chemistry between you.

He’d spent all those nights with you in the hope’s rumours wouldn’t spread through these walls, but he supposed there was no avoiding it and if talk had to have spread, he was at the very least glad it didn’t tarnish his reputation. You and he would of course never hear the end of it from your colleagues; the first of the Hogwarts professors to have a chance at maintaining a relationship whilst holding a job at the school, many of whom still remembered teaching you as students. None of it mattered to him though. They could all talk as much as they liked, he would forever keep you close to his heart, safe from the rest of the world and cherish every moment he had with you so long as you allowed him in your life. He was utterly grateful for the second chance he was given, the one good thing to appear in his life amongst the sea of never ending darkness and he couldn’t have imagined any better way to combat it than to do it with you.

A/N: Can you tell I’m not a dancer? 😅

So this didn’t turn out exactly as I’d hoped. It doesn’t feel as organic as I wanted it to be, but then again, I can’t really expect it to feel organic since the dance lesson wasn’t in the books. Still, it was fun to write and I found myself restraining myself from going on forever with this story. I hope you found it refreshing and entertaining nonetheless. And who knows, maybe I’ll do a part 2 one day with the actual Yule Ball 😁

As mentioned previously on my schedule update post, I’m discontinuing my tag list so this will be the last time I tag anyone on any one-shots. Thank you all for sticking with me, your support truly means the world to me and I hope you’ll continue to read what I have planned for the future 💜

@sleepysnapesnake @wanderingtrails @darkthought15 @bush-viper-cutie @fluffymadamina @dracos-mudblood @mitchiesdungeon @severuslovebot @ravenhopeflyte54 @cuddlebunny0330 @flowerdementia

#Severus Snape #Severus x reader #Severus Snape x reader #one shot #Snape x reader #my fanfic #my writing #pro snape #snapedom

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