#or using outdated/incomplete/iffy information
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#having Thoughts™ about my brain#one of my partners is getting a neuropsych eval soon and I'm very happy for faer bc yay figuring out brain things#but I'm thinking about how badly I want to get the full evaluation of everything done & how my last attempt at that went#& how people keep telling me that everything I bring up is just the anxiety or the depression#and I'm so disillusioned with the system rn even tho I desperately want it NEED it to tell me what's happening in my brain#but I'm so worried that it will continue to tell me the same wrong things and I'll never get to the underlying issues#add to that the second-nature masking due to being nd and traumatized + the worry abt the tests being infantilizing#or using outdated/incomplete/iffy information#and it's like. how the fuck am I supposed to trust that this would actually work for me?#and it sucks bc for a long time I also thought it was just the anxiety disorders and the depression and the ADHD#but now I'm medicated for those and there are still problems#some are new problems some are the same/similar problems that are probably less of an issue w/the meds#but they are problems and I would at least like to know why they're there#my brain is loud in a much different way now than it was before the ADHD meds and that's kinda fuckin scary ngl#idk I'm just. very mentally ill#personal
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