#or uk ignore my content vomitting

[aaric-s-haven]

Rocky vs Ramika

aka my overactive imagination trying to imagine this thing I'm stuck at.

So in my version of kgf 2, Reena would have died in that kidnapping scene itself. Rocky would still have been shot. The movie continues on the same way as before, just Reena's death causes Rocky to be more ruthless. Shetty is killed with rightful vengeance. Adheera still escapes but not because Rocky lets him go.

Rocky meets Ramika before the elections to scope out her threat. She doesn't recognize him, nor does she really know who Rocky is. The meeting is brief and doesn't stay in Ramika's brain until the second meeting, which happens the way it happened in the movie.

I want conversations over private meetings (where they are totally not trying to show each other the bigger middle finger) over whether KGF even belongs to India or not. After all, for 20+ years nobody had even looked at the missing villagers and the ghost towns when the slaves were kidnapped. I want Rocky to give her respect when she outmaneuvers him. I want Rocky to smirk when he ties her in difficult positions using the sway he has in her party. I want her to make a move on KGF that borders on gray. I want Rocky to get fkn pissed and be the protective king I know he is from the too few glimpses we saw in the movie.

I want Ramika to scream in frustration as she tries to hunt down any charge they can lay on him. Khasim Chacha still gets worried seeing the reckless pace he hurtles along to. I want the recklessness he displays to be exploited by Ramika. She nearly manages to corner him when he goes on his "I fight alone" drives. I want his people to rush in screaming vengeance for their king and for Ramika to fully understand the power Rocky holds over a good portion of the population. Either they are in his pocket or they willingly have sworn their life to him. I want him to mock her over the differences of his kingdom and hers (Really, in three years man had built a whole ass city for his people, meanwhile the govt doesn't even have proper shelters for the poor in most cities.)

Gurupandian kills Khasim Chacha using Adheera. Rocky kills Adheera, he then kills Gurupandian. For the first time Ramika sees the monster in his eyes, at first her alarm bells had rang due to the amount of power he held, now they rang cuz she saw just how he held that power. There is no legal signing of a death warrant. Having learnt her lesson, she plays behind the scenes. Instead of the missiles firing on KGF and the army trooping in legally, she arranges a gigantic training accident. Except she still finds an empty city. An empty mansion, the city destroyed before she said fire. The only sign of anyone living there ever is a half burnt doll of some little girl.

Rocky had relocated his people. He sends that fax to Indian Navy, the ship gets blown apart. But Rocky is never seen, neither is the gold. In a true El Dorado fashion, any sign of existence of Rocky is gone from the surface of the earth. All they have left is a journalist and the mouth of word of the thousands of ex-slaves who talk reverently of a Sultan who moved through life at the speed of a stormy wind.

Anyway, this sucks but I had to vomit my unending supply of alternate storylines before they drove me crazy.

[octaviasdread]

any girls! dark academia movie recs? i really struggle to find anything not about a group of boys (as much as I love them)

SO MANY!!! This is probably a far more detailed answer than you were expecting but this is a popular question and I want to keep a list for myself and others.

Feel free to add to it/give opinions. I've tried to give a tw for anything I can remember

Girls! Dark Academia Movies/TV Shows

Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

1950s Women’s college

Art professor! Julia Roberts

She’s legit the female Mr Keating of the art & college world

Feminism vs. Tradition

Maggie Gyllenhall x Ginnifer Goodwin; their characters were more than friends. Fight me.

Does not end how you expect

Strike!/All I Wanna Do/The Hairy Bird (1998)

MY FAVOURITE!!!

Free on YouTube under one of its various names

Comedy

1960s all girls boarding school

Young Kirsten Dunst

Group of girls plot to sabotage a merger with a boys school less prestigious than their own

Secret attic clubhouse meetings of the D.A.R aka Daughters of the American Ravioli (eaten cold, ew)

girls get political & advocate for their rights using ANY elaborate and chaotic scheme

TW: eating disorder, vomiting & creepy male teacher but the girls plot against him too

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

based on a short book I read for uni by Muriel Spark

1930s girls school in Edinburgh

Scottish teacher! Maggie Smith, controversial with a focus on romantic ideals

Spoiler alert, the liberal teacher is actually a fascist

Her group of fave students has cult- vibes and it’s fascinating

Picnic at Hanging Rock

1970s movie or 2018 mini series

Never watched either but I plan to

Wild Child (2008)

00s romcom every UK teen girl loves

Emma Roberts as the spoiled rich American teenager sent to a strict English boarding school

Plots to get herself expelled but oh no she’s making friends with the girls who help her

And the headmistress has a hot son, and he’s nice??? Double oh no

ICONIC SCENES

Everything! Goes! Wrong!

omg she burns the school down

Feel good, comfort, nostalgia

St Trinians (2007)

English girls boarding school

The kids are all criminals, no joke

So are the teachers

CHAOTIC

gay awakening for british girls

Art heist pulled off by school girls

Government tries to shut them down but oh no, the education minister & the headmistress are ex-lovers

Colin Firth x Rupert Everett in drag

Superior cast: Jodie Whittaker, Gemma Arterton, Juno Temple, Stephen Fry, Colin Firth, etc...

embodies the phrase 'problematic fave'

St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (2009)

Mystery, pirate ancestors, hidden treasure

omg Shakespeare was a woman

girls disguised as boys to infiltrate and rob the posh boys school

Villain! David Tennant in that ICONIC boat scene

Teen girls vs. ancient misogynist brotherhood

like the first film but MORE chaotic and BETTER!???

The Falling (2014)

1960s all girls school

best friends! but its unrequited love

Agoraphobic + distant mother aka mommy issues

Sudden death and the school suppresses/ignores the students grief, sparking mass hysteria & a fainting epidemic in the girls

Cast: Maisie Williams (GoT) & Florence Pugh (Little Women) & Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders)

TW: teen pregnancy, death, vomiting, underage s*x, sibling inc*st, past s*xual assault

READ THE PLOT SUMMARY FIRST

The Book Thief (2013)

Based on an amazing book by Markus Zusak

set in 1940s Nazi Germany

Daughter of a communist whose family were taken by the Nazis/died is fostered by an older couple who teach her to read & she paints a dictionary on the basement walls

Coming of age story about a compulsive book thief. No joke, this kid steals books from banned book burnings and breaks into the mayor's library through the window

Family hides the Jewish son of an old friend in their basement and he helps her to start writing about her experiences in the war

TW: death, bombings, WW2 anti-semitism

Mary Shelley (2017)

Overall good & roughly biographical

Pretty costumes and aesthetic

Modern feminist take on Mary Shelly in her own time period

So many INACCURACIES for the drama so don’t take it as truth

Percy Shelley slander and not all of it is justified

Cast: Elle Fanning, Douglas Booth, and Maisie Williams

The Secret Garden (1993)

Based on a fave childhood book

1901 colonial India & Yorkshire, England

Orphaned, spoilt & neglected girl sent to live with her reclusive Uncle in the English countryside

Gothic elements, mysteries, secret doors/passages/locked gardens

local boy with a flock of animals, magic, kids chanting around a fire and all around immaculate vibes

Happy ending!!!

Hidden Figures (2016)

African-American women as mathematicians for NASA

1960s space project

Women balancing a career and family obligations

Deals with racial & gender discrimination

Loosely based on the lives of Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan who worked for NASA as engineers & mathematicians

Anne of Green Gables (1985) & sequel (1987)

Adaptation L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

Canada (late 1890s/early 1900s)

Highly imaginative & bookworm orphan is adopted by a reclusive elderly brother and sister duo

Small town & school years comedic drama

Unrequited Enemies -> Friends -> lovers

Inspiring new woman teacher

Girls re-enact Tennyson’s poem and nearly drown for the aesthetic™

Dramatic poetry reading with INTENSE 👀eye contact👀

Writer! Anne & English teacher! Anne dealing with unruly girls school antics

Collette (2018)

biographical drama on french writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette

Victorian & Edwardian era France

More talented than her husband so she ghostwrites for him

Fight for creative ownership of her wildly successful novels

Affairs with a woman called Georgie and also with Missy, born female but masculine presenting

Cast: Keira Knightly, Dominic West, Eleanor Tomlinson (Poldark)

Enola Holmes (2020)

Netflix book adaptation

Younger sister of Sherlock Holmes

Victorian era! feminism/suffragettes

Mother-daughter focus

Mystery, adventure, secret codes, teens running away & escaping from (and eventually fighting) assassins

Cast: Helena Bonham Carter, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Fiona Shaw, Millie Bobby Brown

Ginger & Rosa (2012)

1960s England

best friends since literal birth navigating troubled teen years

poet & anti-nuclear activist! Ginger

off the rails but also catholic! Rosa

Shout out to Mark & Mark the gay godfathers we all want

family troubles 

TW: older man has an affair with a 17 yr old

Testament of Youth (2014)

based on WW1 memoir by Vera Brittain

young woman (writer & poetry lover) escapes traditional family & goes to study at Oxford University

abandons to become a war nurse

romance, tragedy and war trauma

Cast: Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington (GoT), Taron Edgerton (Rocketman), Colin Morgan (Merlin)

Little Women (2019)

Writer! Jo & Artist! Amy

Mother/daughter focus and sister dynamics

the March sisters’ theatre club is *chefs kiss*

champagne problems edits of Jo x Laurie are a mood

Ambivalent ending perfectly captures Louisa May Alcott’s dilemma with the book the movie is based on

set in 1860s America

ALL STAR CAST and a Greta Gerwig masterpeice

Lady Bird (2017)

coming of age in early 2002/2003 Sacramento, California

all girls catholic school

writer! Christine aka Lady Bird wants to get outta town and start her life again at college 'in a city with culture'

Mother/daughter dynamics - so realistic!

I live for that Jesus car stunt & the nun's reaction

school theatre program

Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein

Another Greta Gerwig gem

Beguiled (2017)

Virginia, civil war era

Girls school with only five students and two teachers left

Find an injured Union army soldier & bring him inside

Women & teenagers want his attention (v. problematic) before uniting against him

(tbh you'll either love it, hate it, or watch once & forget it)

Sofia Coppola film so its very feminine gaze

TW: violence, death, underage

Legally Blonde (2001)

No questions will be taken

Elle Woods was the blue print

TV series:

House of Anubis (2011-2013)

I know it’s a kids/young teen show but I still unironically love it

ANCIENT EGYPT!!!!

Modern day with Victorian era links to treasure hunters & Egyptian research expeditions (stealing from tombs)

Chosen one plot lines, curses, kidnapping, mysteries, secret tunnels under the school, elixir of life

Teens have investigate & protect themselves cus oh no the TEACHERS are involved in some shady stuff

new American kid at British boarding school is the actual premise not just a fanfic au

Nostalgic, light-hearted, funny, and kinda cheesy but I will accept no criticism

The Alienist (2018 -now)

Mid 1890s, New York

Woman’s private detective agency (Season 2)

Serial killer mystery

Woman secretary turns detective and teams up with a criminal psychiatrist and a newspaper editor to solve crime

TW: violence, child pr*stit*tion

Cast: Dakota Fanning, Luke Evans, Daniel Bruhl

The Queen’s Gambit (2020)

Woman chess prodigy

1950s & 1960s

TW: drug & alcohol abuse

Gentleman Jack (2019 - now)

Based on the diaries of Anne Lister

Victorian Yorkshire, England

Upper-class lesbians

Confident, suit wearing! Anne Lister x shy! Ann Walker

Business woman! Anne running the family mines

Cast: Suranne Jones (Doctor Foster) & Sophie Rundle (Peaky Blinders)

TW: violence

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

bubbly/ambitious single mom + intelligent daughter

bookworm! Rory Gilmore gets into a prestigious private school and then an Ivy League college

Small town drama is comedic gold

Fast dialogue packed with pop culture and literary references

Comforting & nostalgic

TEAM JESS

Anne with an E (2017-2019)

Loose adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

they completely change the plot lines but it’s still very good content!

Orphan girl with trauma and a love of books/poetry is adopted by an elderly brother & sister duo, bringing light and fresh ideas to a rural community

Feminism, girls writing club, lgbtq safe spaces, girls eduction, black/indigenous representation

Miss Stacy as THAT inspiring teacher

Aunt Josephine’s lavish gay parties have my heart

TW: creepy male teacher tries to marry a student, racial discrimination, indigenous assimilation school

Victoria (2016-2019)

Adaption of Queen Victoria’s life

Victoria navigating her political, royal, and personal life

Albert’s involvement with The Great Exhibition, 1851 (on cultural + industrial innovations)

Alfred Paget x Edward Drummond is exquisite

Gorgeous costumes and aesthetics

TW: bury your gays trope

Derry Girls (2018-now)

1990s Northern Ireland during the troubles

Comedy, episodes 20-25 mins long

English boy sent to an all girls Catholic school with his cousin

✨Dead Poets Society parody episode ✨with a free-spirited female teacher

Sister Michael, the sarcastic nun who hates her job & reads the exorcist for giggles

Wee anxious lesbian! Clare Devlin (plus her friends wearing rainbow pins)

Badass with bad ideas! Michelle Mallon

Main Character! Erin Quinn

Lovable weirdo who would fight a polar bear! Orla McCool

Wee English fella & honorary Derry girl! James Maguire

Dickinson (2019-now)

Loose adaption of the poet Emily Dickinson’s life

Set in 19th century Massachusetts, US

Historical drama with modern dialogue & music that works SEAMLESSLY

gives a great understanding of Emily Dickinson’s poems

💕Vintage gays! Emily x Sue💕

Theatre club, writing, poetry, dressing as men to sneak into lectures, love letters, teen drama, feminism, and an underground abolitionist journal as a brief side plot in season 2

Wiz Khalifa plays death in a horse drawn carriage

TW: opium use

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Based on great childhood books

Bookworm! brother, Inventor! sister, and baby sister with sharp teeth

Mystery, secret organisations, orphaned siblings figuring things out & fending for themselves against the villain after their fortune

Adults either cartoon evil, comedically incompetent, or SPIES

Boarding school, library owner, scientific researcher, and theatre episodes

Ambiguous time period which is really fun to try and pin point

Killing Eve (2018-now)

Classic detective who has homoerotic tension with the assassin she is tracking down

British Detective! Eve Polastri figures out the notorious assassin MI5 are investigating is a woman, is fired & then put on a secret MI6 case with a small team

Assassin! Villanelle, a psychopath with a tragic past and a mastery of both accents & fashion

Woman MI6 boss! Carolyn Martens, head of Russian section

Travel Europe following Villanelle’s killings and escaping the assassins sent by Villanelle’s organisation

‘You’re supposed to be my enemy and moral opposite but omg you’re the only one smart enough to get me and why am I obsessed with you????'

🚨 GO IN FOR A KISS AND THEN STAB YOUR ENEMY 🚨

Cable Girls/Las chicas del cable (2017-2020)

Spanish drama set in 1920s Madrid

Four young women at a telecommunications company form a group of friends and help navigate the difficult situations they are all in

Secret identities, dangerous pasts, murder, crime, lgbtq couple & throuple, trans man character, feminism/suffragists

girls commit crimes for humanitarian reasons and cover! it! up!

UNDERRATED SHOW!!!!

Gorgeous costumes and set

Haven’t finished it yet and I’m catching up

TW: abuse, violence, death

Outlander (2014 - now)

haven’t watched yet but plan to

Woman time travels to Scotland, 1743

Rebel highlanders, pirates, British colonies, American revolutionary war

Time jumps between 18th & 20th century

[jamie-leah]

War of Wolves (20)

Season 1

Episode 20- The End Is Nigh

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You have been on the streets for the past two years, ever since your accident that left you with the ability to tell if someone is lying. You work as an informant for the white wolf and his mob but you had never met him…until you overhear a phone call that leads you to saving his life. Now he wants you to work for him. Its an offer you couldn’t refuse…right?

Word Count: 2425

Warnings: Violence, outbursts, mention of weight, vomiting, kidnapping, injuries, hallucinations, swearing

A/N: Okay all you Lovely people, I am hitting you with another episode thick and fast. I love you all for your support and encouragement! Enjoy this one! And come tell me if you would like to see another season of WoW? Because I have a few ideas...

<---Previous Episode Next Episode--->

WoW Masterlist Series Masterlist Oneshot Masterlist

A week later

YOUR POV

You weren’t sure how much time had passed. It felt like a lifetime of Isaac drugging you up, poking and prodding and taking samples.

You had been in and out of consciousness like a yoyo. Your body getting weaker every day. Isaac barely fed you saying some bullshit about experimenting how the stress affected the way your ability grew.

Any food that you did manage to eat it was another story trying to keep it down. You often found yourself dreaming or imagining conversations as if Bucky was here.

You were currently imagining being back at that restaurant with the aquarium as a wall having a meal. You were laughing at him tipping sauce down his suit when the scraping of your cell door cuts through it.

You keep your eyes closed trying to hold onto the dream as Bucky says, “looks like our dinner is about to be rudely interrupted Doll”.

You wave him off, “let him carry me, as long as I get to keep my eyes closed and see you it won’t be interrupted”.

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “and have you stop fighting against them? Come on Doll, you know I’ll be here when you get back”.

The blonde man cuts through the dream, “move”.

You open your eyes suddenly feeling the cold in your bones, “make me you curly headed fuck”.

You knew what was coming, yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to move or stop fighting him all the way to Isaac.

BUCKY’S POV

Night had fallen hours ago but Bucky stayed sitting in his office. He watched the footage again and again of you being shoved into the car and being whisked away from him. He hadn’t slept and only ate and drank out of necessity.

Sam was in the room talking on the phone trying to get information out of more informants when Steve walks into the room.

Bucky rewinds the footage again as Steve approaches, “you need to get some sleep Buck”.

Bucky ignores him, watching the footage again hoping to spot something he missed. Steve waits a few seconds before closing the lid of the laptop.

Bucky stares at where the screen was, the image of you burned into his eyes, for a few seconds. Bucky stares until he shoots up from his chair and sweeps the contents of his desk onto the floor.

“And what the fuck is sleeping gonna do Steve? Nothing! She’s out there now, on her own! Its been a fucking week and we still have nothing!”, Bucky’s chest is heaving, the strain of keeping his emotions in check showing.

Steve speaks normally, not matching Bucky’s raised voice, “and what good is staring at the footage doing? Also, nothing”.

Bucky shakes his head, “I’m not sleeping while she’s still out there going through only the devil knows what”.

Steve sighs, “you need sleep Buck, to think clearly…you know if she were hear now, she’d be saying the same thing”.

Bucky bursts again, “but she’s not Steve! She’s not here”.

Bucky doesn’t wait for empty words from Steve or Sam. Instead he strides from the room and towards the back doors.

He keeps walking until he reaches the door and pulls it open. Winter starts to get up to greet him but Bucky orders him to stay.

Bucky goes over and sits next to him just like you would. Winter sits up facing him as Bucky strokes him. After a few moments Winter whines and Bucky nods, “I miss her too boy”.

Bucky shakes his head, “its my fault she’s gone, I should have done more…she’d probably slap me for even thinking that”.

Bucky smiles at the thought of you being cross with him before saying to Winter, “Steve’s right, isn’t he? She’d tell me to sleep if she were here now”.

Bucky pats his lap and Winter settles next to him laying his head on his leg. Bucky lays his head back and closes his eyes, images of you haunting his dreams.

YOUR POV

You think about two days had passed since Isaac had sent for you. On the one hand you were grateful for the rest, but it was freezing. The only warmth you felt was in that shitty room.

You were in the corner dry heaving for the hundredth time that day. Your body was shaking violently from the cold and strain your body was going through.

Your dreams had spilled out into reality as you now conjured the image of Bucky while you were awake. He was still wearing his black suit leaning against the wall, “that’s the third time today. You need to start keeping your food down if you want to get out of here”.

You spit into the bucket, “you think I don’t know that? It’s the fucking drugs”.

You put the bucket down and go to stand but you fall instead. Bucky goes to help but stops himself, you both know he’s not real and he can’t help.

You finally manage to make it back to the bed before saying to Bucky, “you can’t find me, can you?”.

Bucky pushes off the wall, “you know I’m trying”.

You nod slightly, “I know that. I just don’t know how much longer I can live like this”.

Bucky looks alarmed, “you can’t stop fighting”.

You close your eyes, “but I’m tired Buck”.

Bucky scoffs, “you know there’s things you could be doing to help me find you”.

Your eyes snap open in anger, “yeah? Like what? In case you hadn’t noticed I’m locked in a cell”.

Bucky shrugs, “you know the more people that know you’re here the more likely it is that I can find you. Everyone has a price for information and everyone knows I’d pay anything”.

You lift your head up to look at him. He looks exactly like your Bucky but there’s something off and you’re well aware that he’s not real and none of this is healthy.

You stare at him a little longer and you realise what’s off, it’s the eyes. His eyes aren’t the same colour blue as your Bucky, “did you have something in mind?”.

You waited another day before the blonde guy came to get you again. You had gathered your strength for what you had planned.

It was the same story of the door scrapping open and his voice seconds later, “move”.

You don’t even waste energy on a reply. You just count his steps so that you can time it all perfectly. When you know he’s a step away from pulling you off the bed you twist from your foetal position and smack him in the face.

You know he’ll only be shocked for a second, so you get up and knee him in the balls to keep him down longer. You hear him grunt before falling to one knee.

You don’t wait to see if he recovers, you run. You ignore the shaking in your legs and the way your feet thud against the stone.

You run as fast as your heart would allow down the narrow corridor and passed the door that leads to Isaac. That’s when you hear the guy shout for you to stop and you nearly laugh at the absurdity of it.

You near the end of the corridor and take a sharp left down another corridor. Its just as narrow but you see a set of double doors at the end of it, the only double doors you’ve ever seen in these corridors.

Your body is screaming at the exertion, but you keep going, the image of Bucky popping up by the doors pointing to them.

You feel like you’ve been running for hours but you don’t stop as you approach the doors. You brace for the impact as your body slams into the wooden doors.

They give way followed by a loud crash of metal hitting a wooden floor. You fall and realise that a knight uniform was in front of the doors to make it look like they weren’t useable doors.

You look behind you and see the blonde guy halfway down the hall and gaining fast. You look forward and see some stunned men and maids.

You scramble to your feet and step over the metal, realising you’re in the foyer and the front doors are right there.

Hope blossoms in your chest at actually having a chance of getting out of here as you sprint towards the doors.

Bucky is standing by them and you smile at him. You skid to a halt to open the door. Your shaking hands taking a few seconds to turn the door knob. Valuable seconds.

Just as you push the door open arms grab you around the waist. You scream and struggle as hard as you can as you watch the door swing open.

Sunlight floods the entryway and hits your skin, the only real warmth you’ve felt in what feels like eternity. Bucky stands passed the threshold looking at you as you get dragged back through the double doors.

The sunlight gives an aura around him that makes him look like an angel and as you lose sight of Bucky, the door and hope, you can’t help but call out his name.

BUCKY’S POV

Bucky was in the office with Sam, Steve and Darren. Darren had come over to say that he hadn’t found anything out but wanted to help any way he could.

They had been talking for the past hour about what else they could do. Bucky could barely concentrate on what was being said as he looked out the window thinking of you.

“I know we looked into Harry, but he could be worth checking again. He may have estates we don’t know about”, that was Steve.

Bucky heard Sam next, “but if we don’t know about them how are we meant to find out?”.

Steve again, “I don’t know, but Harry’s organisation isn’t big, he wouldn’t have anything outside of the UK”.

Darren this time, “but the UK is still a big place if we don’t know where we’re looking”.

A few seconds of silence and then a buzzing. Bucky was trying to ignore it as he thought about you. He was quite successful in ignoring it until one of his spare phones gets shoved into his face by Steve, “Bucky! You’ve got a call”.

Bucky quickly snatches it from Steve and gets up from the chair before answering, “hello?”.

A whispered voice comes out, “Bucky is that you? Its me, Noah”.

Bucky nods as if he can see, “yeah, its me. Tell me you got something Noah”.

Noah continues to whisper, “she’s here”.

It was only two words, but it was enough to leave him feel like he had been suckered punched, “you saw her? Where are you exactly?”.

Bucky turns to see everyone standing now, “yeah I saw her. He was keeping her in a place I didn’t even know existed. After this conversation I’ll text you the exact location”.

Bucky had too many questions he wanted to ask, “how did you find out where she was?”.

Noah was silent for a few seconds before whispering, “she made a break for it. I was just about to leave when she came crashing through a set of doors and ran to the front door. Someone got her before she could make it passed the door and took her down corridors I never even knew existed…you know I couldn’t help her as much as I-“.

Bucky cuts him off, “I know. You did the right thing…how was she?”.

Noah was silent, and Bucky clenched his jaw, “just tell me Noah”.

Noah sighs, “she didn’t look great. She was skinny and had bruises, was wearing a hospital gown. She screamed your name before they took her away”.

Bucky closed his eyes, he didn’t know why he was asking he was only torturing himself. Bucky managed to speak, “thanks Noah. Send over the details and be prepared for contact from me soon”.

They both hang up after that and Bucky relays everything Noah had just told him as he texts through the details. Bucky finishes with, “so let’s go. I’m not waiting any longer”.

Steve blocks his path, “hold on Buck. You and I both know that we need to plan this properly. We can’t fuck this up”.

Sam nods, “Steve is right, but we can plan as we make our way over. If we do both at the same time, then we don’t waste as much time”.

Darren also chips in, “I’m coming too”.

Bucky looks at all of them before nodding, “lets get everything in place then”.

YOUR POV

Isaac was furious with you and you took great satisfaction in it. Not even him slapping you across the face could wipe the smile you gave him as you said, “you can’t break me”.

He ordered the blonde guy to take you back to the cell and you fought with what little energy you had left.

You were now on the bed trying to sleep, but it just wouldn’t come. You open your eyes to see Bucky leaning against the far wall again smiling, “you did great. I’m thinking we could do that again and even get out this time”.

You scoff, “you think I’ll be able to do that again? You’re delusional”.

Bucky laughs, “actually I think you’re the delusional one. I’m thinking if you get the keys off blondie and lock him in next time you’ll be able to do it-“.

“Shut up”, you murmur.

He ignores you, “you may have to wait a day or two because he’ll be jumpy-“.

“Shut up”, you try again.

He still talks, “come on Y/N! We can’t give up now, we’re so close-“.

You lose it as you shoot up from the bed, the anger giving temporary life to your bones, “shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I hate you!”.

You stand there, chest heaving, as Bucky looks hurt, “I thought you loved me?”.

You huff in frustration, “you? No. Bucky? Yes. You’re not him, you’re not even real! I imagined you as a way to make myself feel better but all you’re doing is making me feel worse. You’re just a reminder that Bucky, MY Bucky, is out there and I can’t touch him or see him…I need my Bucky, not whatever you are. So just go away”.

You sink back down on the bed and turn your back on him, your heart breaking in the silence of the cold room.

WoW Taglist: @a-really-bi-girl @crazyblonde124 @summerwelsh @scuzmunkie @loving-life-my-way @pequenaguaxinim @paranoid-borderline-insane @lilsonbucky @somanyfandomsblog @broco8 @inquisitor-selvala @mad-red @k-n-e @rinkashirikitateku @duhh-danielly @boundtomyfate @kalesrebellion @booktease21 @whatinthyworld @flyingbabyunicornnamedangel @asapkyndall @yaszx @amoredashley @aveatquevale- @putinovertime @melimelbean @valsworldofcreativity @lokilokilokilokilokilokilo-blog1 @vesper852 @littlenerdgirl16 @wiccanmetallicrose

[calle8cat]

Welcome to the year 2020. Do you want the bad news or the good news first?

March 21st, 2020

First post. I’ve been wanting to write down everything I’ve been feeling and seeing and thinking. Finally getting around to it. It has to be good for something.

I’m going to format my posts with a health update, society update(global, national, and local) and journal my thoughts and feelings.

To catch you up, this is the worst year we’ve had as a planet in a long time. Australia caught on fire for a few months, but they finally put it out, thankfully. A war almost started somewhere. I forget with who. But that has all been dwarfed in recent weeks.

A strange respiratory flu virus usually contained to animals somehow transferred to humans in Wuhan, China. It’s a type of Coronavirus. It is a flu at least 4x more deadly than the seasonal flu. It lies undetected in contagious individuals for up to two weeks, possibly longer. It doesn’t even show symptoms for a vast majority of carriers. But for those it does infect and who do show symptoms(10-30% of the population), 20% need hospitalization, and 4-7% die from it. So if the world is 7.5 billion people, up to 90 million people could die from it if not properly contained. These are wild numbers but some countries are not, in fact, containing responsibly.

China went into lockdown, built emergency hospitals overnight, and probably suppressed their data so no one knew how bad it really was. So the rest of the world didn’t quarantine anyone coming in from China.

Some countries did, like Guatemala and Tasmania.

For the rest...Big mistake. It hit South Korea first, then Japan. The diamond princess was a cruise ship off the coast of Japan that had been quarantined poorly for a month. Tons of people got it there. But japan and South Korea took it seriously overall, and they have avoided a huge outbreak.

It hit Iran and Italy very badly too. Citizens of Iran just aren’t self quarantining to prevent the spread. Last I heard, one person every three minutes was being diagnosed with it there. Italy, sadly, didn’t, and still isn’t, taking it seriously either. They didn’t shut down their borders until much later. Their sick and dead in the northern region have overwhelmed the medical system. Thousands are dying. They’re dying in hospital hallways. Alone. Doctors and Nurses are dying from it. Five so far. Most of the medical staff in hospitals seem to get it and work through it to help the rest of us.

The worst responses so far out of the wealthiest countries have for sure been The United States and The United Kingdom.

I can’t do much to comment on the UK, as reports from the US are much worse and local, so I see them more. But I do know people are only working if their bosses make them, so some are forced to, and risk exposure or spread in public. I also know the UK has offered to pay citizens 80% of their missed wages. That’s good.

What’s not good is the US’ response. A joke. Our abysmal president downplayed it for months. He even called it a lie. His constituents hushed the drama so they could sell stock before the market crashed. He defunded the pandemic response and preparedness team and ignored their warnings last years. So far, no real lockdown from the government either. Certain states have called for non essential business to close down. Luckily I live in one and luckily my employer has complied. I’m so thankful.

Tons of businesses are unable to stay afloat. Millions of Americans have already lost their jobs. We are in a recession. We will enter a depression.

Another issue for our country is the complete lack of preparedness, funding, and supplies. We have so few test kits that some places like LA have given up on testing. We went from 1 case to 200 to “not going to count anymore” in less than a week. The beds we have to support people stricken by this disease are far too few. Not enough gloves, ventilators, masks, or healthcare professionals. We’ll get to Italy’s state soon.

I don’t want to be involved. I’ve been self containing as much as possible for weeks. Now I’m in total lockdown at my family home. The government is saying 14 days of quarantine. Most of us know it’ll be 2-3 months.

What will happen to our society though? How will the unfortunate (read: 90% of Americans) be able to survive without income? Can and will my republican government support them with food banks and soup kitchens? I fear not, as we have an emotionally and logically inept president. He is no leader, he’s hardly even human. He’s evil, which I’ll define as cruel, abusive, and totally lacking of empathy.

I once read The Secret Life of Bees. One character ha something wrong with her, where she feels all the negativity from the world so can’t watch the news or it breaks her. I relate to that. Far too empathetic for my own good. I’m feeling emotionally broken lately. I fear for social unrest. I fear for violence. I fear for suffering. For others mostly. Myself, yes. But really, for us all. I’m aware of how powerful that much evil is and worried about what’s to come.

I’m currently sick with god knows what. Possibly it. I went to the hospital once after fever and vomiting and chest pain but they laughed in my face. Gave me tamiflu and sent me on my way. I got it again two weeks later. The cough never left. My chest hurts. But I’m lucky and can medicate at home. This may be the year that I die. Who knows with this wild disease. But I’m not going to stop living.

Ok, that’s enough Debbie downer content. Next post: the positivity of it all.

[lifeafterthewake]

11.12.2018

I wasn’t and I’m still not sure what to do with this account. I’ve started it as an attempt at blogging and it’s clearly not working. Then again it usually is quite a challange for me to write as I live with a person who talks a lot and I seek their presence. Oftentimes I talk and all the content inside my mind gets spilled and discharged. But right now I’m in a bit of a pickle, staying at a friend’s house while they’re away so naturally more thoughts come to my mind and the need to express them is more apparent.

I wanted to write a little bit about self-control or self-control issues. I’ve never been good with self-control. Whether it’s money, food, learning for important exams, managing my time, speaking to other people or managing the power I have in relation to them - there were always issues.

My weight is an issue of great concern to me as my whole childhood and adolescence I was bombarded with contradicting communicates: that I eat too much, that I don’t eat enough, that I’m too fat, that my weight is fine, that I should do more physical activities while I was going to extracurricular classes almost all the time (karate, dancing, swimming, horse riding for a short period of time). My parents are obese and they eat too much and so I was overweight ever since I went to elementary school. The most I ever weighed was 102kg I think. I was 15 years old then. It was a turning point for me as when I crossed the 100kg line I thought to myself ‘this is too much, this is dangerous, I have to do something about it’. And so I did.

Before going into highschool, so 15/16 years old I’ve imposed a set of strict dietary rules upon myself. I ate every 3 hours 5-6 meals a day, I chewed every bite 30 times or until it was practically dissolved in my mouth, I’ve only eaten one meal at a time, so no multiple dish dinners. I avoided sweets and juice, drank mostly water. As a result I’ve lost... I’m not sure really. The least I weighed was 76 or 78 I think. Let’s go with 76. So I’ve lost 26 kilograms. In 6 months time. I looked like a different person. I wouldn’t say I was mentally happy with myself but physically I felt so much better. I still had to deal with comments from my family about how I don’t eat anything and how I look ‘so thin’ but it was managable.

I’ve stopped sticking to my ‘no sweets’ rule about a year into high school. It was hard to keep it up. Generally my eating habits have loosened since then but I still feel like it was much needed, even though it wasn’t a safe thing to do, for me to feel that I can achieve something if I try hard enough. You see, I never really had to try to do anything in school. I’m an intelligent person and I’ve never had problems with grades during my time in lower education. It is a bit of an issue now that I’m studying but it’s still mostly managable.

When I moved out of my parents house I got drunk on the money. I still can’t responsibly spend my money although I have taught myself to spend less on food. My father rented me a flat and sent in about 330$ a month for me to live on. I don’t live in US or UK so it’s actually quite a lot of money for a student’s needs (for measure: a loaf of bread in a chainstore costs about 0,68$; 1,5L bottle of water 0,39$; 1kg of chicken breast +/-4,74$) . In the beginning I was spending it like crazy, mostly on food that I was eventually throwing away. I was cooking a lot back then too. You see, I say I’m bad with money but if I am bad then my parents are horrible with it. They probably spend about 530$ a month on food itself, and probably throw away about a 1/5 of it. Every time I visit their house the fridge is brimming with food (and it’s usually cold cuts or cooked meat that I don’t eat often anymore). So you can imagine what kind of an environment I was subconsciously trying to recreate and why it was so costly.

Food apart I don’t manage my money well unless I absolutely have to. My father usually sends me extra cash whenever I need it so I got lazy about controlling my spendings, I splurge on material items and then run out of money for food or I irresponsibly spend money on food in the city center because I don’t have time to cook and I hate planning meals ahead so I run out of cash very quickly (a dinner in the downtown area costs me about 5,26$ per main course; for the same amount I can cook a meal for 3 days). This semester I got super lazy with my diet as well, preciesly because I had so classes at uni. I usually try to avoid grains and wheat because my body doesn’t deal well with gluten in excess. Lately I’ve let myself completely loose (because of personal reasons as well) and I feel horrible.

I feel horrible to the point where I’ve made myself vomit my food twice during the last two weeks. The first time was when I came back from my grandparents’ (02.12). I ate a lot during the small party they threw and I was feeling very sick. ‘I ate a lot’ doesn’t cut it. I stuffed myself. Partially because seeing my family is always very stressful for me, it’s emotionally difficult, I can’t seem to find a way to deal with them and I think it’s getting worse the longer I ignore the issues that I should address. But it’s exactly the lack of self-control that is keeping me from doing it. My parents are very manipulative and the slightest chance they get to change the topic or steer the discussion in a different direction than the issues that I’m trying to discuss they take it and I fall for it. I get emotionally torn apart and die inside and after some time I realise that nothing has really been discussed and I feel like shit. And it keeps repeating itself so I get discouraged even more and it’s even harder to touch upon anything relevant to me.

The second time was today (11.12). I came back to my friend’s flat after spending crazy amount of money on home appliances in Ikea. I went to a shop and bought ingredients for a cake and food to eat for the next few days. I bought a loaf of bread because I can’t control my goddamn self. And a bar of chocolate. Went back to the flat. Ate 5 pieces of bread with generous amount of butter and a cheese slice on each piece. Ate the whole bar of peanutbutter chocolate. May I add I was alterating: I ate 4 sandwiches, I ate a bar of chocolate, I ate 1 more sandwich. Plus I’ve drank half a cup of tea. So then I felt sick. There are a few types of sick in my world. There is drunk-sick, there is stretched stomach pressing on intestines-sick, there is stressed-sick, there is acidic food-sick and there is wheat-sick. We’re going with both wheat and stomach pressing on intestines sick this time.

I don’t really vomit involuntarily unless I’m really drunk and I haven’t been really drunk for at least 2 years I believe. It’s always a decision just as much as spending money is a decision, just as much as stuffing myself with food that makes me feel sick is a decision. So I’ve decided to make myself vomit. In a way it’s cathactic, in another it feels like my mental health is in a really bad state right now.

There is a point I want to make here. I feel like overating isn’t a purely physical act just as eating disorders are mental health disorders. For me overeating is a way of dealing with emotions. I externalise my emotions, put them into food. I then put the food in my self. In a way we always do that but we’re also animals that have to survive so eating and hunger are totally normal and natural. When we analyse something we put a point of focus where we see fit. So I put in my self. I chew it, swallow it, stomach it, it goes through my intestines. All the time my body is breaking this food apart into simpler substances and redistributing them throughout my body. Perhaps the emotions I put into food come back into my body with these simpler substances going straight into the cells. I put bread inside of me, a product that I don’t deal well with - a testimony of hatred. Bread gets broken apart, emotions get inside of me - I get fatter, my nose gets stuffed, I get atopic eczema. Vomitting is an act of desperation. It’s not as much about getting the food out of my system - it’s about getting rid of the discomfort I’m experiencing because of the food I put into myself. But this discomfort is an effect of my actions.

I’ve been feeling like a puddle of pure terrible for about a month now. No, for exactly a month. I’ve done something very stupid and hurtful to people I’ve felt sympathy for and to myself and I can’t get over it. I can’t get over many feelings from my past as well. They haunt me. It’s easier to vomit and for a split second feel like I - this bag of flesh - am not anything much more than a bag of flesh feeling all these sensations that you get when you throw up. But then your thinking and feeling kick in. I still feel like trash and I still haven’t dealt with those feelings that are inside. I’ve tried to push them out and eat them in a different way but in the end I couldn’t deal with them. I hope that I can teach myself how to be in control of my life to the point where I am able to deal with my feelings before I hurt myself or someone else. I want to do it step by step. Right now I’ll stick to avoiding wheat and eating more consciously. It’s the little things that make up the base of our existence. It’s the little things that will pull us apart rolling away if we lose control over them.

---

Laser hair removal update: had my third appointment on monday (10.11). Sometime after my first post the lymph nodes on my neck got infected and it hurt like a mofo. So for the second treatment we went with lower power. Not much inflammation afterwards but also not much effect. My beard is thinning out but not many bald patches so far. For this appointment we went up with power. Very painful especially down the middle of my face and neck (mustache, under the lips, chin, under the chin). A lot of inflammation after the treatment. Today is a little better, a lot of zits, I hope the hair strands will come out easily. Spraying myself with Octanisept and trying to avoid face-skin contact. Doesn’t hurt, feels slightly hot and I’m still puffy. 

[crookedprogeny]

interruptions

      “My name is Dashiel Mycroft O’Neill Holmes,” Dash begins. There’s a flutter of notebooks as the chatter in his Intro to Philosophy lecture dissipates. Several sets of eyes are attentive, even enthused. Most are indifferent. Dash takes a tally and vows, silently, to reverse the statistic by semester’s end. “My friends call me Dash. As you are not my friends, Professor O’ will do nicely.” A few students chuckle; Dash shrugs, matter-of-fact.

      “I have one PhD in Philosophy, and another in Classics. I’m working on a third in Linguistics, not so I can brag but because I get bored. I’ve written two books and am in the process of publishing a third. The first I wrote from my death bed with my then girlfriend, now wife. If ever you wish me dead for all the hours of work I assign, I suggest you give it a read.” Now a smattering of laughter ripples through the hall, most of it nervous.

      “What else,” Dash muses, but decides to press on. “I tell you all of this neither to intimidate you, nor demand your respect. I plan to earn your respect. And I find intimidation something so subjective I’ve given up trying to control it. No, I tell you all of this because Philosophy is an intensely personal undertaking. However rational a route its pundits have attempted. If I don’t start our class with some intimate detail about myself, how can I expect you–”

The monologue dies in Dashiel’s throat. At the top of the lecture hall stands his brother. The chunk of the door had registered moments prior, but Dash had, as he so often does, ignored it. Only the one through the door hadn’t been a tardy student, it’d been his brother, who now stands, swaying, at the top of the stairs.

Dash starts forward. Murmurs erupt through his class; all heads at the top of the hall, nearest Connor, swivel. One student stands, some instinct driving him to either protect those around or leap to Connor’s aid. As an atmosphere of intense paranoia ratchets the crowd into a clamor, Dash assumes the former. “Stay calm,” he calls, holding up a hand, palm out. His other palm, developing a slight tremor, smooths his tie down his front. “Stay calm, stay seated. Talk– talk amongst your– yourselves, talk– Connor.” Dash takes the stairs at a sprint as Connor leans so far to one side he tips into the back row of students. A screech goes up from one of the girls, and a half dozen hands shove Connor back to his feet.

Dash reaches his brother as the heckling begins, as a disconcerting portion of his class stands to leave. “Hey– hey,” he mutters, both palms hovering over Connor’s chest. Connor’s grey eyes are glassy, alcohol seeping from his pores. Dash hesitates to touch him, wary of provoking an outburst, but then Connor pitches forward and hits Dashiel’s chest with such force they both nearly go toppling into the mass of panicked students. And the panic proves contagious; it takes Dash a beat to recognize the collision as not an attack, but a hug.

      “She’s’ick,” Connor sobs, slurring, sweating, and still swaying. Dash wraps his arms around his brother and struggles to support him. Connor hugs him, weakly. “’M– drunk,” he hiccups, and Dash nods.

      “Yeah,” he mutters. “Yeah, you are– ah– Conn–” Dash gasps as Connor’s knees give out. Mercifully, Connor’s weight, being the heavier between them, drags Dash forward rather than sending them down the stairs, but Connor’s hip hits the ground hard, and Dash experiences a rush of vertigo as he’s all but flipped over top his brother’s crumpled form.

Someone from the crowd Dash had left in the lurch calls out, and Dash hurries to right himself and fend off the building riot. “Class dismissed!” he shouts, scrambling to make sure his brother is still breathing. The sobs rising, thick, from Connor’s chest serve as proof positive.  “Class dismissed,” Dash repeats, panting and kneeling above Connor, but far more even keeled. “Please– take a syllabus and exit out the front.”

      “Professor O,” says a very small, very scared voice, and Dash looks up and into the eyes of a young student clutching a cell phone. “Do you need– do you– need–”

Dash shakes his head. “No,” he says. “No, no, please. No, this is– I need the room clear. Is what I need.” He nods. The girl hesitates. “Take a syllabus, please. All of you. Go.” The student retreats. Dashiel’s attention completely abandons his class. “Connor,” he urges. “Connor, sit up.” Connor’s cries turn critical, the horrible noise he’d been making strangled in his throat. Dash positions himself in a crouch and hauls Connor into a sitting position, then places one hand on Connor’s chest and one on his back. “Breathe, C.”

Connor chokes. Dash feels his brother’s chest seize, the muscles in his back twist, and then Connor is tossing the contents of his stomach onto the lecture room stairs. Dash watches, nonplussed, rubbing Connor’s back and waiting for it to pass.

      “How much have you had?” he asks.

      “Too much,” Connor says, mouth full.

Dash nods his understanding. “How many times have you vomited?” he asks, to which Connor only groans and heaves again. Dashiel comes momentarily unstuck in time, unstuck in place. They’ve done this so many times, the pair of them, in either position. Too many times.

With more effort than Dash can comfortably, physically manage, he hauls Connor to his feet and negotiates him into a lecture hall chair. Only when he’s seated, panting, beside his brother does he realize the hall has actually emptied – and all of the syllabi are gone from the front table. “Amazing,” Dash murmurs.

Connor sobs, “I’m sorry,” and Dash is forced to retract.

      “No, that was– that was genuine,” he says. “And not about you. This was an introductory course you interrupted. First years, mostly. I told them all to leave and grab a syllabus. And they did. Which is– amazing.”

Connor snorts. He tries to throw his foot up on the row of chairs in front of him, but it misses and hits the floor with bone-rattling force. Dashiel’s hip practically aches listening to Connor swear. And then Connor repeats, “’M drunk,” and Dash deadpans, “Why?”

No response. Dash listens to Connor hold his breath, waits until Connor has held his breath for too long, and then orders his brother, again, to breathe. Connor does. “She’s sick,” he whimpers. “I didn’wanna see’t, ’cause I love’er, an’ I– I love our baby, an’ it’s abou’time we got our shit togeth’but she’s– sick. Dash. An’ I dunno how t’help’er ’cause’s sick an’ that’s– ’s too much.”

Dashiel nods, slowly. “Where is McKenna now?”

Connor passes a hand over his face, smearing tears and snot and spit. “Liss’s,” he slurs; sobs. “I had Liss’s kids over’n– s’posed t’help– but Thal ’s– she’s–”

      “Sick,” Dash finishes. “I am familiar with the concept.”

      “Fuck you,” Connor snaps. Dash senses his brother turn violent, but figures removing himself will only provoke more anger, more hurt, so he sits and bears the thumps to his chest thrown by Connor's gnarled right hand from one seat over. “Fuck you for not bein’ there for her, for not– not sayin’ wha’was– You get this stuff an’ y’didn’say’t-- tha’s fucked.”

      “I’m not her husband,” Dash says calmly, massaging his sternum, but Connor rears up, red faced, and shouts in response, “Neither’m I--!”

The implication of what he’s said settles slowly. Dash hears it immediately, of course, and works to keep the pity from his face as Connor figures it out after a beat, then two. The hand he’d used to pummel Dashiel’s chest claps over his mouth. Dash keeps his eyes averted while Connor sobers -- at least as much as he can still smelling strongly of booze.

      “You have t’elp’er,” Connor croaks. “Y’gotta help me fix’er--”

      “She’s not broken, Connor,” Dash says, voice soft, slow and low.

Connor nods like a student from the middle rows, accepting the information of a lecture like cattle accepts its feed. The sudden acquiescence puts Dash on edge. On Connor, it looks a lot like defeat.

Dash twists in his chair, hooking a finger over the knot of his tie and loosening it so he might pop the top button of his shirt. “Okay,” he says, a bit of force behind the word. “Okay, Connor. If that’s what you want, I’ll help. But I’m not a therapist. There’s only so much--”

      “Well, I can’t-- ’elp’er,” Connor hiccups. “’S my fault.”

      “Yes, you can, and no, it isn’t,” Dash counters, gently insistent. “This isn’t about you, but she loves you. You must continue to be there for her. I’ll step in, I will. Take over from you, if I must. You’re right, I have personal experience. I’ve kept out of it so far. For Thalia’s own good, I thought. I didn’t want to project. I didn’t want to assume. If this isn’t about you, which it isn’t, I can’t make it about me. But-- Connor.”

Connor’s head, in the process of tipping forward, eyes gone cross, snaps to what would be attention. As it is, he blinks at Dash, eyelids gummy, eyes glassy to the point of reflecting his brother’s image back on himself. Dash reaches, extending two fingers to test Connor’s pulse. The man’s jugular beats erratically at the side of his neck, his skin is clammy, and he doesn’t seem to notice the invasion of personal space -- doesn’t so much as flinch, let alone move to swat Dashiel’s hand away as per usual.

      “You are-- absolutely blackout drunk, aren’t you,” Dash muses. Connor responds by letting his head fall back against the top of the chair. Within seconds, it seems, snores rumble in his throat. Dash pats his brother’s sweaty cheek, wipes his hand on Connor’s shirtfront, and fishes for his phone. On the screen, there’s a missed call from a UK number. Dashiel ignores it.

This isn’t about him.

[gabrieljarvis1992]

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[carltond4558-blog]

My Other half Failed to Make Me Delighted.

Appearing when you are actually gay or LGBT is hardly ever easy, yet this may be even more tough when wed or partnered. It is actually impossible to end up being definitely pleased when you do not have also a tiny oz of freedom in your lifestyle. Enjoying father throughout our childhood our company know ways to make our method the mad ethnicity. Contentment resembles a muscle - that obtains more powerful the even more you exercise it. Keeping on your own delighted resembles staying in form. If there is actually anything else I can do to create this fic a lot more easily accessible by any means, satisfy don't hesitate to email me at iaminarage @ or message me on tumblr (where I am actually likewise iaminarage). It's not simply the stories I really love when I say that books make me delighted; often this is actually the visibility of them. What makes me definitely delighted is actually staying at home with my husband and pet cats and also sometimes journeying to brand-new places. 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What creates me pleased may or even could not dramatically help in your contentment And also speaking of genes, there is actually a great possibility that because our brains are actually wired in a different way as well as generate various degrees of chemicals that affect our thought processes, a few of our company are actually visiting have a harder opportunity creating a happy hookup". He failed to need to have Santana to begin inquiring questions about who he was actually speaking with. He maintained the message chat as he expected the bartender making the alcoholic beverages. Let's check out at the popular periodic parties and exactly how you could make use of personalized stationery to create your memory cards, keep in minds as well as letters even more exclusive. But in any case, they created me extremely incredibly satisfied, and that made me intend to stop and also mirror on all the other things that are actually making me delighted in today times. 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Nearly all males ignore tips so if you are actually certainly not allowing him understand point blank that you enjoy with him as well as exactly what he creates for you, you might gone on the track to shedding him. A lesson found out is that certainly not every person likes birds as a few of us carry out. I was resting on our deck one early morning, taking pleasure in the chorus from track birds in the surrounding plants. That's quite outrageous that planning for a vacation may create you happy, however I keep in mind a couple of years ago (prior to I possessed little ones) I actually produced a spread sheet of things I wished to carry out if I won the lottery game. Bear in mind: everybody needs to have 12 hugs a day, thus make certain to provide all the hugs they need for a wonderful feeling every day prior to bedtime. I understood exactly what that required to create me capable to vomit, and also was actually creating on my own thus complete to the point where I believed likeI was going to throw up anyway. Men will not assume you're egoistic if you do this in a way that praises their wish making you pleased. Even though, it could feel bizarre for a long time, once you perform this, it doesn't make you think so. If you would like to make your aficionado believe extremely important, then this words will be the appropriate one. Hanging around them leaves me with a pleased emotion, then subsequently, I am healthier as well as much more beneficial around the people I are actually along with later. They vocalize their typical tune Auld Lang Syne" to accept the new year and also note it till 3rd January. If you enjoyed this write-up and you would like to obtain additional information pertaining to yellow pages uk wiki (escolherparaestaremforma.info) kindly go to our own web site. If the hubby is actually certainly not happy along with the sexual activity in their married life, he makes certain to look in other places; this may be unsafe for your relationship. You could make 2 claims during the course of any type of 3 year period without any loss from NCD yet your security are going to be lost.

[swordarkeereon]

Guest Post: A Kingdom's Fall #horror #newreleases #newfiction

Author Interview

What genre(s) do you write and why?

My work resides in the horror realm and all its subgenres. A gross-out gag, splatterpunk shock, or spine-tingling chill makes us remember we’re alive. And knowing my work makes some people’s genitalia retract into their innards gives me wood.

What was the most difficult part of writing your most recent book?

Finding time to write the third book in The Human-Undead War trilogy proved a chore. I had to decline offers for short story contributions, deny requests to beta read and edit fellow writers’ work, ignore submission calls, and limit my social media presence for about 8 months. With my wife back in school full-time and unpredictable daily work hours at my day job, I was lucky to scrape by with 30 minutes a day for writing. It drove me to the brink of madness!

What do you feel your books offer readers?

An intriguing escape from reality, and a fresh take on vampires. Anyone tired of pussy-ass, sparkly vamps ought to see merit in The Human-Undead War series. I’d love to think I’m revitalizing the genre like Brian Lumley did with his Necroscope series, but sales and exposure beg to differ. Some day, perhaps…

What was the first book you ever had published? How much time did it take from writing your first book to having it published?

The first book was Dark Intentions, Book 1 in The Human-Undead War Trilogy. From concept to publication, it took approximately 8 years. That included some snags in the publishing process (infamous “kerfuffles”) which set me back almost 2 years.

What other careers have you had?

I’ve been a paper boy, grocery bagger, a fast food cook/cashier, pot dealer, phone operator for a taxi company and multiple telemarketing gigs, gas station attendant, obsessive plasma donor, pizza delivery driver, warehouse laborer, and I’ve held management positions at multiple businesses, including my current employer.

Many won’t admit this, but pizza delivery can be quite lucrative. I miss that cash-in-hand every night, and the crazy fucks you meet along the way are great story fodder.

How would you describe yourself if you were “speed dating” your readers?

A chubby bald guy who’s rough around the edges, likes to tease and titillate, and has a dark sense of humor.

Where are you from?

♪In northeastern Iowa, born and raised,

On the farmland is where I spent most of my days…♪

Okay, I’ll stop now. The tune’s stuck in your noggin now, though, isn’t it?

What do you do for fun?

Fun? Sorry, I don’t understand this foreign word. Please translate.

Has your life changed significantly since becoming a published writer?

I think I’m poorer now than I was before I started writing for publication! However, my soul has been enriched. I’ve made tons of awesome, supportive writing-minded friends, a few fans, and a few bucks. It makes up for the constant business expenses (books on hand, business cards, advertisements, bookmarks, contests).

Otherwise, no, not much has changed. I’m still just an introvert peon working for The Man.

Do you work on one project at a time? Or do you multi-task?

I must stay focused on one thing at a time. Multi-tasking often results in more white hairs cropping up on my chin and me needing several Snickers bars to calm the fuck down.

What kind of kid were you? Which social path did you take?

In grade school, I was the fat kid who compensated with comedy, but I was a loner outside of school. I lived on a farm, and even with siblings, I could often be found roaming our land alone, talking to myself and acting out scenes in my head. I usually had my nose crammed into a book’s delicious-smelling spine as well. Once I hit middle school, my introvert side kicked into high gear. Since then, I’ve maintained a small group of core friends and tend to avoid large (or popular) groups of people.

Do you have any pets?

Two cats, Tubba and Target, and a wiener, Spot.

If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you travel?

I took a few years of Spanish in high school, and I loved everything about it. Spain seems like a gorgeous, culturally rich place to visit.

Please tell us 5 miscellaneous facts about yourself.

-I’m a huge advocate for literacy and will drop spare change every time I go to The Dollar General.

-I once popped what I thought was an Ecstasy pill only to discover it was a horse tranquilizer. Good times.

-Nothing turns me on more than a clean, spotless home.

-When I awoke in my cell after being arrested for drunk driving a decade ago, every county inmate hassled me for my extreme overnight snoring.

-I once masturbated 13 times in one day.

Please share with us your future projects and upcoming releases.

A Kingdom’s Fall, the conclusion to The Human-Undead War Trilogy, will be out later this year. I’ll also have a story in VS: Extreme, a charity anthology pitting US against UK horror writers. I was in the inaugural VS last year and took home some accolades, so I hope to defend my title in style this year. David Owain Hughes and I are also co-editing an anthology titled Fuck the Rules, and that should be out late this year or early 2018. It’s our way of throwing up the middle finger to rules while still exposing raw talent and crisp, finely tuned stories.

After that, I don’t know. Time to pursue my writing endeavors has been limited and will continue to be for several more years. I may disappear for a bit. But I’ll be back.

Please share any links you would like listed in the Interview. Website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, Patreon, Instagram etc.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/JondrashekAuthor

Twitter: @jondrashek

Website/Blog: www.jondrashek.com

Instagram: @jondrashek

BRIEF AUTHOR BIO:

Jonathan Edward Ondrashek loves to spew word vomit onto the masses. He’s had an array of poetry, reviews, articles, and interviews published in the past decade. His short stories have appeared in the anthologies Fifty Shades of Slay, Rejected for Content 4: Highway to Hell, Crossroads in the Dark II: Urban Legends, and the highly acclaimed VS: US vs UK Horror. The first two books in The Human-Undead War Trilogy, Dark Intentions and Patriarch, debuted in 2016, along with two co-edited horror anthologies: What Goes Around and Man Behind the Mask. If he isn’t working at his day job, reading, or writing, he’s probably drinking beer and making his wife regret marrying a lunatic. Feel free to stalk him on social media. He loves that shit.

A Kingdom’s Fall (The Human-Undead War Trilogy, Volume 3)

After staking his claim as the rightful Undead patriarch and returning to the United States, Barnaby has sent his followers on missions to eradicate humankind once and for all. He still plots to cast the world into darkness and reign supreme. But to ensure the Undead’s ascent to godhood, he will need to destroy the Human Army and confront his nemesis, Brian Koltz.

However, President Strajowskie understands the stakes involved, and he’s heading to the front line to go all out against Barnaby and his hordes.

Meanwhile, an insurgent army led by the former Undead general, Scott Hammers, approaches Haven. Brian and his people are prepared, but he discovers a traitor in their midst and dark deeds being done against his knowledge. Can he and Haven survive the ensuing battle without being torn apart from within?

As all sides vie for victory, a confrontation between Brian and Barnaby appears inevitable. And both now understand one kingdom must fall if the other is to survive.

BOOK EXCERPT:

“You’re a pilot?” the woman asked.

Lester blushed and ran a hand through his red curls. “Yeah.”

She stared at the center of her shoddy table. Candlelight flickered. Dark bags beneath her eyes devoured her high, protruding cheekbones. “Scar told us wasn’t none of them left,” she said with a slow honey-dipped drawl. “Said no one took to the skies anymore. That’s why he was sailing ‘cross water, before his ship wrecked.”

Lester almost snorted but held his derision in check. Barnaby sure did choose a lame nickname while he was here. He found it unnerving how the Vampirons revered such a devil. Then again, they didn’t know what he was.

Hell, even God doesn’t know what he is.

“Very few still exist,” Roterie said. He meandered away from the humble open-spaced kitchen and plopped onto the chair opposite Mrs. Deekins. He rested his hands behind his head and kicked his feet up. Dirt and sand sprinkled down from the soles of his shoes and cascaded across the table. “That’s why your husband was wise to follow Scar and find us.”

“Well, I can’t thank you enough for coming here and telling me how Zeke’s doing. Me and the kids’ve been worried sick.”

It shows, Lester thought. Mrs. Deekins was bone-thin, though canned goods and somewhat-fresh fruits lined the makeshift countertops inside the kitchen. Grime caked her skin in an oily sheen. Bloodshot, yellowed eyes protruded from their sockets, and her fake fangs jutted out below her upper lip. With thin, frayed hair sticking out at every angle atop her scalp, she looked like a buck-toothed, emaciated vampire hippie.

And the stench was horrendous. The quaint mud hut reeked of rotten eggs, spoiled milk, and decaying meat. Worse still was Mrs. Deekins herself. Even from the front doorway, he could smell the layers of sweat, shit, and piss emanating from her body in sickening droves.

That reminds me. It’s been a week or two since I took a bath, Lester thought, avoiding the urge to sniff his armpits and test his own scent.