#or they crt because their world view has become warped

[firesofdainix]

Wu is like that one brother where he's just a LITTLE too close to your wife, everyone's asking whether or not Garmadon's aware of this little development, but he's just going *head in hands* and telling people to stop noticing them. He requested the same thing to Lloyd when he accused Misako of infidelity. He was just like "you can't save those who don't want their friendship to look platonic to society son". Oh yeah Misako and Wu don't know what platonic and romantic teasing means and can't differentiate it. Wu ALWAYS denies the allegations of flirting with Misako because he's clueless over what people are seeing with him. He's not dumb, he lacks... The self-awareness he needs...

Chen: oh by the way Wu, Garmadon stole your letter to Misako~

Wu: ... Letter? What letter to Misako? We only talk in the phone or in real life! I've never written anything for her!

Garmadon: wait, you never?!

Misako: I think letters are so sappy. They're really cheesy like, be more straightforward! Just say 'I want to date you' in real life! No need to go THIS far!

Garmadon: wait a minute... WHO WERE YOU WRITING THE LETTER I STOLE FROM YOU?

Wu: isn't it obvious? Clouse! That little rat never wrote back but now that I found out you stole the letter, it makes sense!

Garmadon: you're not mad???

Wu: brother, why would I be mad? I wrote it when I was drunk and feeling lovesick.

Garmadon: ... IS THAT WHY YOUR WRITING WAS SO HARD TO DECIPHER???

Misako: I had to not burst out laughing during our wedding vows when you pretended that letter was from you. It was clearly not your signature.

*Wu and Misako jokingly make fun of Garmadon's screw up as he becomes embarrassed*

Chen:

Chen: aight I'm gonna go to the cursed realm

Okay you know the comic Dark Island? Alternate Ending where instead of Clouse and Wu battling they just ended up making out with the others in the background in varying levels of disgust. Except for Kai, who's just happy he won't have to see Wu with his parents' picture again. He's their ringbearer in a timeline where Wu and Clouses married

Wu would DEFINITELY not understand nor read what is a 'bad boy with a soft heart s/o' and... Well... A literal psycho. I'm imagining... Every horror movie psycho ex trope into one person that Wu ended up callously dating. I like to think he DID follow Kai's advice, but in a warped, not really good way which made all his advice for naught. Kai told him to take his s/O's flaws in stride? Well, Wu didn't say ANYTHING about how shit they are as a romantic partner. ALSO VILLAIN WU BECAUSE OF THIS WOULD BE SO COOL. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE TURNED THIS AU INTO A DARK ZONE. A CRACK ANGST AU, IF YOU WILL. I swear villain Wu in that universe will be the ultimate... What's the opposite of match maker? Match breaker?

I'M SCREAMING THAT MORAL LESSON??? TBH IT MAY BE MATURE FOR AN AUDIENCE OF KIDS BUT LIKE IT'S A GREAT LIFE LESSON. Ninjago special where they make relationships and how to spot some real concerning stuff for kids and use Wu as an example. Also Kai having to become the very thing he sought to destroy is the best thing I've seen. He has to tell Wu to abandon all the shit he's learned from him and just be 'himself' as he says. And when he comes back he is so relieved he almost thanks Wu's promiscuity saving them all. I'll probably write this when I'm free. Kai when he returns to the original timeline tells master Wu he now has the permission to marry his parents /j

General Kozu has to be the Supportive Child to Overlord during the first stages of their break up. He has to be there for his evil smoky black cloud papa <33333333 he wants to die, and was crying to himself when he was locked in the Dark Island forever with Overlord complaining about how the FSM cheated on the custody battle

To the person who said that Wu x Mailman is canon, yes, and I love you for that. The reason why Mailman continues to come to the monastery, to find Wu in the Bounty, it's because he has a BIG FAT crush on the guy <33333333

@destinysbounty I'M CRYING HOW DARE YOU LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS. Wu wished for a proper relationship and NADAKHAN was just like, "do you want to join my polycule"? Jay is mortified and is fighting over Kai on who gets the reversal blade so he can go back in time and erase that ever happening.

You have convinced me that Wu's a manwhore. I seen people make Garmadon the manwhore, but it's more hilarious with Wu. The FSM would get a headache whenever Wu brings a guy home.

I mean... it's true, right? I just think Garmadon is socially awkward or bad at maintaining romantic relationships because of the venom and him only being perceived as charismatic. Wu on the other hand has a different problem, while I think he's a little socially incumbent (not as good as Garmadon when it comes to speaking about his feelings or, you know, INFORMATION) he's good with people. He's good with making people fall for him. That's how good he was.

However, for me personally, Garmadon may have few relationships far in-between, but the way it ends was peaceful, with neither side holding a grudge or some depression. Wu, in the meanwhile, his relationships would start REALLY good... and then it comes crashing and burning down when his love either suggest something he didn't want to commit in or he's starting to overthink the entirety of his relationship.

But yeah, FSM would get so mad and exasperated that his youngest son brings tons of his girlfriends/boyfriends/partners home. Thanks to how bad Wu can't hold down a relationship he brings a different person home every week or so.

I just like the personal gag that the ninjas, along with Wu, encounter one of his exes. It's funny to imagine.

[danielshae]

Chrono Trigger on Steam: Dang-o

Well It’s Not Exactly Pretty

By DANiEL SHAE

No driving thesis here, just some thoughts and observations of the port.

Like many of you, I’m a lifelong fan of this game. I still have my SNES (actually, I have four of them), and my original CT cart with a “got all the characters to ** and defeated Pink NU Spekkio” file on it. Even went so far as to get a NU tattooed on me. Because I am a sucker for this game.

As you’re probably aware, toward the beginning of 2018 SE granted us a “surprise release” of Chrono Trigger. Like so many others, I bought it immediately. Then? The backlash. Tremendous backlash. Mostly for the weirdly smoothed graphics that appeared to most like a “bad mobile port”. So, somewhat responsibly, six months later SE pushed an update attempting to appease the mobs of enraged fans by allowing the game to be viewed with graphics “similar to the original pixel art”. That description is straight from the in-game menu.

The release of the update was surrounding by a flood of articles purporting that “SE put the original graphics back in Chrono Trigger and now it looks WAY BETTER...” (I’m paraphrasing here). And to a degree, sure, it is certainly better than it was. But dang-o. Guys, this game is still pretty mangled. For a game whose original was so thoughtful, beautiful, and meticulous, this feels sloppy AF. And I know that some people likely worked their asses off, because I too work in the game industry and I understand how it goes. This isn’t just any game, though; it’s Chrono Trigger. I would think that, regarding a game which was completed 23 years ago and is considered by millions to be a masterpiece, people would be a thousand times more careful touching it now than even the original team who created it back then. That’s certainly the case with nearly any other art you’d find in a museum. But that’s not the case here. Square Enix has the resources to do it right, but this port is unfinished.

First 15 minutes of gameplay, I encountered some triggered events which caused me to become stuck inside another sprite and I had to reboot the game to continue (the specific one I remember is returning the girl’s lost kitty at the fair). Thank God for the “bookmark/resume” feature, which is actually a pretty cool addition to the game. Anyway, I’m now 20 hours in (Death Peak after a lot of grinding), and I’m glad to say that pattern has thankfully not persisted.

But there are other issues. Some minor. Some kinda hideous.

I won’t bore you with pixel uniformity (or the apparent lack thereof), but as you can see pictured above, there are some serious issues with mixed aesthetic. You may have to give it the ol’ “right click, view image” to better see what I’m talking about. Most of the assets are displayed in clearly defined “pixels”, but then there are bits like the Epoch, which appear more like, for my lack of real terminology, freaky blurred nonsense. Flying this bad boy around is a uh...well it’s a “trip”. I’m not one to easily embarrass, but between you and me I keep my head ducked and hope to God an NPC doesn’t walk out onto the world map to see my smeared-ass ride rippin’ across the sky to elevator jams. Also I tried switching between “Original” and “High resolution” graphics—Epoch appears to be the same in both. Maybe I’ve just unearthed a bug in my game, but then if so that’s still a problem.

There are lots of other graphical issues: Orphaned pixel noise that becomes painfully visible during effects like white screen flashes. Freaky solid black pixel chunks during the “cool parts” with the Ocean Palace and the Black Omen. The area around Giga Gaia’s face gets honorable mention for some extra weird shit going on when you slap him around (I was using Cube Toss/Iceberg Toss).

As they say: The list goes on.

I’m actually fine with how the battle menu and gauges look now, even if the gauges sometimes cover sprites a little crudely. I get it. Sacrifices must be made. However, the speech panels and game menu panels don’t look like they belong at all to the same game. They’re bizarrely clunky, a different resolution than the rest of the game assets, and frankly the texture on them looks as though somebody was just dicking around with the spray paint tool. Which might be fine if they were the same resolution as the other assets.

SIDE NOTES ON THE MENU: 1) “Settings” can be accessed from the title screen menu and from the in-game menu, and it offers completely different options depending on which you’re in. That’s what they call a UI/UX “no no”. 2) The behavior of the title menu is...weird. That’s as profound as I’m going to be on this bullet. 3) From the in-game menu, to find the “Quit” option, one first has to navigate to “Settings”.

How the hell is quitting a “game setting”?

The hit boxes, or colliders, or [whatever the hell they are] are unpolished as well. This version of the game feels much stickier in places than previous releases I’ve played (SNES, PS, DS). I’ve encountered several NPCs whose colliders are perhaps double their actual width/height, making it a real pain to traverse certain areas.

I can’t make up my mind about the anime cutscenes. I was super pumped at first when they added them to the PS release, but now I almost wish they were a separate thing from the gameplay. Watching those moments in anime, only to immediately see them again in the original 16 bits, ends up feeling a little disjointed. Plus, occasionally (specifically I’m thinking of Frog blowing open the cave to Magus’s keep), it causes the sound to break for a few moments when it comes back from the cutscene to the 16-bit animation. I dunno. Mixed feelings.

I’m still having a blast playing through it. It maintains maybe 85% of the original charm—and 85% of Chrono Trigger is still a hell of a party. I’m glad they added the DS content. I’m not overly pissed that they only opted to keep half of Woolsey’s localization (frog still charmingly speaks in Old English, just not when he’s having flashbacks to being a child/young adult for some reason) but modified parts of it to include some of the newer English dialects (featuring phrases like “nom nom nom”). OK. Cool I guess. We need the newer generations to “understand” our art.

OK, that’s more-or-less the end of my thoughts on this. It’s enjoyable, but extremely messy. I don’t recommend this version for first-timers to the game. If you can swing it, play the SNES cart. On a CRT. Play it with scanlines. Sweet, beautiful, hot, sexy scanlines. And if you can’t, get a DS copy.

Actually I’m not so obsessed with the “glory days” that I’d turn my nose up at a full-on remake of this game. Pls. I’d take a modern Chrono Trigger in a heartbeat.

EDIT: 49 hours. Beat the game. Multiple times. Got all 13 endings. The most noticeable of the graphical issues are: Epoch, beating Magus and warping to 65 Million BC, Ocean Palace appearing, Black Omen appearing, random buildings throughout the world maps, racing Johnny, scenes with the Gurus/Janus being warped away from Lavos, Black Omen after killing Mammon, and pretty much all of the endings. The Epoch and ending credits sequences are the worst. Still, tremendously fun—just not impressive looking compared to the product that was completed 23 years ago.

[magdaleneswift-blog]

CELIBATE OLD MEN EXPLAIN SEX TO THE WORLD.

The vatican documents on sex are all about love and being a symbol of God’s love for humanity.  Bull – With their protection of the pedophiles and endorsement of the rape culture, their actions show what they really mean the purpose of sex is – It is the best way to declare war on another human being and make sure to do the maximum amount of damage possible.  My experience of sex after two marriages are that it has NOTHING to do with love and men see it only as a means of domination.

MEN HATE SEX

Through the years of my life I have noted that men really hate sex and go to elaborate and continuous efforts to avoid it as much as possible while pretending the opposite.  After 40+ years of live I am no longer under the illusion that sex is about love, affection, comfort, support, reassurance, or even carnal desire.  It is purely a male power trip or adrenalin rush.

AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES AND EVIDENCE

The following are some of the more common methods men use to avoid sex while pretending the opposite.

PORN

I can think of no other activity that is LESS likely to result in long term physical contact with another adult person of the appropriate gender.  Porn is nearly always watched by oneself shut up in a closed room.  Most of the public mock priests for choosing celibacy to devote their lives to God and the time they spend gazing in adoration at the holy presence or sacred writings contemplating the love of God.  Porn watchers spend hours gazing in adoration at CRT screens or color photos.  I don't know what they can be contemplating other than the space between their ears or the space between their legs.  It is pretty much guaranteed that neither is seeing much use. One of porn's saving graces is that as its disciples lock themselves away from the general public for long periods of time, they normally avoid annoying the rest of us, except for the occasional crusade against censorship.  These usually wind up resulting in the promotion of celibacy. That is porn's second saving grace.  The discussion and/or content of it completely turns off most women; making celibacy seem incredibly attractive.  The old copy of Playboy my ex kept to read the fighter plane articles was enough to bring me out of the mood in minutes. I just spent time in a hotel where I couldn't sleep at 3:00 am.  I went down to the lobby to read to avoid waking the rest of the family.  I used the public computer to read my e-mail.  The previous user had left about a dozen porn pages up that I had to shut down to get to the e-mail program.  Most of the images looked at women as objects to hurt or humiliate.  When I got up, I noticed the seat was soaking wet.  I was afraid to think what it could be.  The hotel manager said the person had sat down with sopping wet clothes. The female equivalent, the 'Cinderella/vampire Romance' in which the love and attraction is for one partner for life/eternity either bores most men or causes them to flee in terror.  The exception seems to be if they are looking for someone to volunteer to do their laundry.

MASTURBATION

A related technique is masturbation.  Again, the point is to spend as much time as possible away from members of the opposite sex.  It also warps your outlook such that when you do find a partner, they are only seen as extensions of a dick.  That is the truth to the priests saying that masturbation causes blindness.  It has nothing to do with a need for an optometrist.  It has to do with allowing your lower head to control how you see the world.  You have to admit the view down there is pretty limited. (Note to religious fundamentalists:  Truth does not always need to be literal to be true and often becomes ridiculous when interpreted that way. See St. Augustine's Confession Book 11 Chapter 20)) Masturbation also leads to the perception that the penis is all.  Men are often so fixated on these few square inches of skin, that when it fails them, they are left with nothing. Some men become so conditioned on masturbation that they can't function any other way. I can't imagine any woman's dream partner is some putz who can only relate to his right hand. Again it does have the saving grace to partially clear you head to allow you to separate true feelings from hormones.  Mostly I just found it depressing to think I had flushed my life and my children's lives down the toilet for the small benefit of the physical sensation.

REALLY 'IMPORTANT' TASKS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE DURING LIMITED TIME ALONE WITH SPOUSE

Men always say they are interested in sex during dating and they are good for maybe a month or two after marriage.  After that, they start trying to avoid it and come up with the most transparent excuses, especially after children when couple time is limited. My ex said he had to read computer magazines for half an hour to get in the mood.  This was before children.  Also, it was absolutely vital to spend hours cataloging screen savers. He also often 'had to wait for a BM.' I swear he spent half his life on the toilet.  He must have heard the study that said the most fool proof way of avoiding rape was evacuating your bowels.  This is supposedly such a turn off that most rapists will leave. To all those naysayers, I used to have an excellent figure, but gave up trying to get any response from initiating interest in my 20's.  I even told him that I was going to stop annoying him as it was too humiliating to be always brushed off.  I remember years later, during one of the few times he was interested in sex.  After we finished, he said, "Wow! Why don't we do this more often?"  I remember lying there thinking "I've been wondering that for years, but if I say a word he will never want sex again." He also said the unconditional love was wonderful, but chose celibacy to devote his life to little pieces of cardboard:  Pokémon, Magic the Gathering, Star Trek, Pong, etc." (Just how much lead do they put in the ink on those cards?)  I mean get real, what is unconditional love when you can have little pieces of card board.  On the plus side, it does give new meaning when considering the unconditional love of our Savior, what he chose to go through, and the trash we choose rather than him. With husband number 2, it is the fish tank that can only be changed during the short time we have to be alone.  Or worse, when it he would literally RUN out the door, including the time right before I was going to leave to make an emergency trip cross country to care for my mother's cancer and move her to our town. Of course, once I was gone for over a week, he is on the phone insisting he wants me to abandon my mother to come home because HE is horny.  He wondered why I was upset when I got home.

SMOKING AND OTHER HEALTH SABOTAGE.

This is another extreme measure men use to avoid sex.  Their systems functions with basic hydraulics.  Smoking and obesity both clog the pipes and interfere with the function of the system.  Based on experience, they are only functional until about 35 anyway.  I assume 30 if they choose to smoke.  They must really hate sex in order to sabotage their health this way to avoid it.

THE QUICKIE

Also known as "Let's get this onerous activity over as soon as possible."  This most often happens when they wake up in the morning with an erection.  (I think they are shocked when their equipment works.)  Of course this only happens when you have to hurry to get to work on time and they have the day off.  It never happens on a weekend when you have time.  It is one of the sadistic games they like to play.  Believe me; we get the message in a hurry.

YENTL - EXHAUSTION

The corollary to this is to keep you working non-stop so you drop from exhaustion.  Barbara Streisand made this technique famous in the movie "Yentl".  She was a woman pretending to be a man so she could go to school.  She got railroaded into marrying another woman and was trying to find ways to avoid sex and not blow her cover.

CONTINUOUS DISCUSSION OF SUBJECT

My ex always used to say that the easiest way to tell if high school boys were having sex was to listen to how often they talked about it.  As he said, "If you are doing, you don't need to talk about it."  I would agree.  Based on this premise, there are a lot of celibate people in this world.   Unfortunately, it gives the impression when you are dating that they ARE interested in a physical relationship.  This is a second sadistic game men like to play. A good test is to ask for help with housework while dating.  If they flee, dump them ASAP.  They aren't worth the bother and celibacy is better.  If they agree and show signs of wanting to help out long term, latch onto them, it doesn't matter WHAT they look like.  This is the female version of the old male advice.  "Cooking lasts.  Kissing don't."

FASHION

Men also try to get out of sex by perpetuating the myth you have to wear sexy clothes.  I tried that. The only reaction I got was contact dermatitis from the synthetic material.  They are all designed to be as uncomfortable and impractical as possible to add injury to insult.  My ex always used to say that women's clothes are designed by gay men who hate women and want to make them suffer as much as possible.  This has been well documented since at least the 40's.  My aunt had a book from around that time frame called "The Hussy's Handbook."  It asked the question "Why would women want to look ridiculous by wearing a hat that looked like a pair of mittens?"   I find the ones who design the patent leather shoes for little girls the most frightening.  Those shoes have soles as slippery as ice.  Wearing them is a threat to life and limb.  Their designers must want to kill girls off before they have the chance to reach sexual maturity. Mostly, I think men just get off on seeing how ridiculous they can make women look.  They will then sometimes flaunt this by taking you out to dinner to show you off.  This does what is really important to them; impress the other guys.  You can't do anything in a public restaurant.  Going to a hotel with a spouse does absolutely nothing.

PREGNANCY & BIRTH CONTROL

It is often hypothesized that men are frightened of fatherhood and pregnancy.  The truth is that they look forward to it as a way of avoiding sex.  My ex used it as a tacit excuse to avoid sex for nine months.  Of course that was about how often he was interested anyway.  It never dawned on me that hoping for maybe once a month qualified me as a nymphomaniac. When my ex and I first became a couple, I assumed part of his lack of interest was fear of pregnancy.  I offered to go to a doctor for birth control, but he said he didn't want me destabilizing my body chemistry for something that happened so infrequently.  I didn't dare touch that statement. With husband number two, I tried the ring.  It worked beyond his wildest dreams.  He said it changed my scent and he lost all interest in sex.  I could only stand it a week anyway, as I reacted to it and had to put up with the soreness as well as the celibacy.  I just read a study confirming this.  Male lemurs loose all sexual interest in female lemurs on birth control. I also tried natural family planning.  I gave that up after a few months as well.  He was never interested in finding out when the safe times were anyway.  Also guess the only time he showed the slightest interest? The saddest part to all of this is the feminine myth that a baby will make a man want to stick around forever.  Some of the worst are the Harlequin Romances.  Too often the males are actually looking at pregnancy as an excuse to avoid any kind of long term relationship.  At least one study says male abandonment is the number one reason for abortions.  At least one male African American sex education instructor spoke out against this practice saying the men in the community needed "to stop walking away from their children as if they had had a bowel movement."  The real African (not American) men I have heard put a priority on providing for their children.  The walking away was a dehumanizing technique started by the slavers looking for justification for their genocidal behavior.  Getting a woman pregnant and then walking away is NOT the action of a man, but of a two year old with a hormone problem. Remember, a wedding ring is part of a WITNESSED promise (legal contract) to stick around and provide for any children of the woman.  Ladies - Don't believe anything else.  Even if the men still don't intend to follow through, you at least have some legal recourse.  Celibacy is a small price to pay for the security of your children. Some of these men may even believe what they say themselves; until they find out there is work involved. I have heard that the Islamic version of heaven is supposed to be several virgins.  This makes absolutely no sense.  I suppose a woman in this heaven could form a dancing group for entertainment. What would the men do?  The virgins wouldn't be virgins in a short period of time.  What would the man do after that? Flee for all eternity from several wives or try to provide for an infinite number of children?  In any case, if this is your incentive, are you worshipping God or your dick?

WHAT THEY REALLY ARE AFTER IMPRESS OTHER MEN

Don't let them kid you.  Sex to men is only a way to impress other men.  They swear up and down they aren't gay, but the only time they are interested in sex is when they are around other men.  My ex would swear he wasn't gay, and then make life choices such that he spent all of his time with adolescent males. The best example of this was one of my coworkers.  He was loudly proclaiming at the office Christmas party that he wanted to go home and sleep with his wife.  With that kind of behavior, it was obvious he wouldn't have even thought of sex if the other guys weren't there.  Since his wife was there, he was also obviously trying to get out of sex for another year.  Publically embarrassing your wife is one of the best methods to do so.  It didn't help that their children and other co-worker's children were there. Unfortunately for him, it may have backfired.  I have been in the position of having sex with someone I totally despise because I was that tired of celibacy.  It is not an experience I would ever want to repeat. If you watch the nature chimpanzee documentaries you can see this often, as part of the male dominance battle, the male ends by having sex with a female.  He apparently isn't interested in the female except as a minor prop for the contest with the other males. Growing up around cattle, it soon becomes apparent that all herd animals have homo sexual tendencies.  Human beings are herd animals.  My own crack pot hypothesis is that it is necessary for civilization as it allows men to tolerate each other long enough to build something.  The female version in primates is a survival technique to promote bonding to avoid getting beaten up by the inferior males.

POWER TRIP

The above reminds me of one of my daughter's favorite stories.  It also relates to the "The more they talk, they less they do" hypothesis.  My daughter is big into the Warrior Cats series.  In this series, the cats are intelligent and live in human social structures.  One fierce cat was called "Scourge."  He was a house pet turned feral and took over a large urban territory.  In one scene, he is being run down by a pack of dogs.  They surround him and tell him, "Run." He stands his ground and tells them, "No."  The graphics on the dogs immediately changes from threatening to confused and upset.  They say, "Please?"  They have absolutely no idea what to do with a cat if it isn't running away.   Men are often like that.  They are either into the challenge of the hunt itself, or get off on the power trip of making women afraid or insecure.  You can see this nearly every day.  A car of young men will drive by and you will see them emulate Marley, the dog.  They roll down the window and bark something stupid; thereby disturbing the peace and announcing to everyone in a one block radius that they have no intention of getting within 100' of a woman.  This also announces that they prefer the company of their male palls to a woman. A male health class lecturer when I was in high school confirmed this.  He said that the last thing these guys wanted was sex.  He said he wished he was a girl in those cases.  He would run up to car and say, "Sure, let's go", just to see how fast they can run away. (Note:  Don't try this for real.  You can find a real nut case ready to cause you grievous injury.) This attitude, taken to the extreme, is rape.  This isn't sex.  It is open war fare.  It makes you wonder what kind of men can hate women enough to do this.  The socially acceptable consequence of perpetrating rape is to be locked up for long periods of time with other men.  That must be their ultimate goal. Thankfully, I have never had to deal with a rapist.  I have thought though, that my daughter's hero may be on to something.  It might work to stare them down.  Look at them like they have a screw loose.  Shrug.  Ask them if they are allergic to the really strong antibiotics and head toward them.  I wouldn't be surprised if they would run so fast they would knock themselves cold on the nearest fixed object. The man who kidnapped the woman for several years and thought he was treating her well was not only on a power trip, he was also about 900 years out of date.  The kidnapped bride was outlawed under English law in the 1100's.  The right of ownership of any woman you could catch was part of many Native American cultures.  It may still exist in some cultures around the world.  In this country, women were the legal property of their husbands until the 1900's.  Go to any courthouse and read all the land deeds that include "To Have and to Hold."  This is a legal phrase dealing with property transference.

ADRENALINE RUSH

The Ancient Greeks had a god for this.  Eros (Sexual Passion) was the son of Ares (War) and Aphrodite (Love).  It is a well known biological fact that terror triggers a drive to reproduce before you die. "There is no passion like that snatched from beneath the blade of a sword."  I think this is why a lot of men lose interest in sex after they are married.  Once they realize their partner isn't going to try to kill them, the drive is gone. Note: If you know that what you really want is only the adrenaline rush; TAKE UP BUNGEE JUMPING!.  It is safer and causes less damage. This also relates to the teenage girl vampire fantasy.  With a vampire you get both the eternal love and the adrenaline rush from potential death.  I just pray they grow out of this BEFORE they have a baby. Also note: the search for eternal love is one reason women tend to be more interested in religion than men.  The reason the first 'Mormons' practiced polygamy was the fact that they had several women for every man and they insisted their fellow church members share. George Bernard Shaw's version was, "Women would rather share a good man, than have all of a poor one."  It works for gorillas anyway.  (See PBS - Nature - The Gorilla King)

COLLECTING

You also get the opposite; men who seem to want to have sex with as many different women as possible.  Various books talk about the inferiority complex of men like this.  It may be just me, but this seems more like stamp collecting than sex.

AVOIDANCE OF HOUSE HOLD CHORES

This is the flip side to the Yentl approach.  Leave the women to do all the work as avoiding cleaning is much more important than sex. One of the great mysteries of the universe:  Why is the gender that spends the most time staring at a toilet bowl, the one that is the least likely to clean it?  From women who have to clean up after them:  The aim and eyesight of a lot of them are so bad; the thought of male fascination with weapons and live ammunition is doubly frightening.  Is this part of the army physical? Girls you may want to watch this one.  If they can't control this day to day function, don't believe it if they say, "Don't worry, I can pull out in time."  Men and women both have a great potential for self delusion. I told my son.  "Watch where you aim that thing.  You can kill someone with it."

SHORT OF ENTERTAINMENT

Sometimes men don't want sex, they just can't think of anything else to do.  That at least was the one "Rescue 911" episode.  The man broke into the woman's house and asked for sex because he was bored and couldn't think of anything else to do.

WHY? BRAIN DAMAGE

According to Dr. Amen in his book about curing ADD, the SPECT brain scans of men show a great deal less activity in the area of awareness of emotions than women.  So ladies, they aren't always trying to feed you a line.  Apparently, most of them have no clue how they feel and what they want. He also hypothesizes that the rapid increase in autism spectrum cases is a result of the population bomb.  If you have no impulse control, you are going to have unprotected sex at an early age.  This results in a rapid reproduction of people with little education and no self control having lots of children. Their children will reach sexual maturity before the age of the children of people with self control; who postpone having children until they finish school and have stable employment. For survival of the species, women are biologically programmed to choose mates who will stick around for the twenty some years necessary to raise a child to maturity.  At least one study, showed women to be masters at choosing men by sight who are likely to do so.  The above brain study explains why men don't understand why women want to talk about relationships.  A large part is trying to gauge whether you are worth the effort.  Ladies you may want to forget the conversation and go by determining if they are trust worthy in other parts of everyday life.  Forget looks.  Go by ethics.  It is well known that women want church going men.  It is one indication the man is thinking about something other than 5 minutes of entertainment.  If they can't be believed for the little truths, how can they be trusted for the big ones?  "Don't worry.  I'm sterile and don't have HIV" It has also been proven that adolescents of both genders are like the HERO robot I programmed in college.  It was designed to have two batteries:  One for movement, the other for 'thinking.'  It was not uncommon for the 'thinking' battery to run down before the movement battery, causing the robot to take off in random directions.  The brain of a human adolescent has not matured to think more than 5 minutes ahead, leading too many of them to use the head between their legs for their thinking.   I haven't been able to able to understand why when men hit middle age; they want to return to this condition.

FEAR OF WOMEN

At least some psychological texts say at least some men are terrified of a woman's sexuality and what it does to them.  These men must really hate sex.  Apparently a lot of them must live in Middle Eastern nations. Some not only mutilate women's genitals out of fear of their sexuality, they have been known to wire them shut.  This also increases death in child birth and birth defects.

NON-FUNCTIONAL EQUIPMENT

Judging by the amount of e-mail I get for male enhancement medication, 99% of the men on this planet must have problems.  It is enough to make you wonder how we got to 6 billion people.  I have yet to see an ad for women having problems with sex. Incidentally, the male sexual enhancement pills work fine, much to my husband's dismay.  He told the doctor he was getting them because I wanted them.  After making a big deal of getting them, he refused to take them for nearly a week until I called his bluff when we knew the children would be out of the house.  I get the message and will not bother him again.

BIRTH CONTROL

This may be related to the fact that waste water treatment plants and apparently the natural water cycle do not filter out pharmaceuticals.  We have had over a generation of men drinking the birth control pills we invented to prevent pregnancy.  It seems they work better than expected.  Ironic if you realize they were invented to INCREASE sexual activity.

CONCLUSION

It seems the only women with realistic expectations of male sexuality are the nuns.