#or the weird adult diaper situation some did that embarrassed the whole fandom

[iwatcheditbegin]

The most unserious tour

[agerefandom]

Little Brother, Big Brother

Fandom: Homestuck

Characters: Regressor!Dave Strider & his mom Roxy Lalonde, regressor!Dirk Strider & daddy!John Egbert

Words: 5,400

Summary: Dirk and Dave are both age regressors, but they have never regressed in the same space. After almost a year of consideration, they’re finally getting together for a playdate with their two caregivers. Everyone’s a little nervous and a little excited.

Content Warnings: Brief mention of diapers. Parental caregiver names. One brief tantrum/bout of separation anxiety. (Important Note: Dirk and John’s caregiver/regressor relationship is a little blurry between non-sexual kink and regression. For example, they have rules and safewords, which I don’t typically write as part of age regression. This is only briefly mentioned in the fanfiction, and both of them still characterize their relationship as sfw agere, separate from their romantic relationship as adults. Nevertheless, I wanted to mention it in the content warnings!)

There was a knock at the door and Roxy perked up, tossing aside the phone she had been anxiously fiddling with. She made her way around the scattered toys on the floor to the front door, opening it to reveal a familiar smiling face.

“John!” Roxy exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug. He happily returned it, wrapping his arms around Roxy’s shoulders and laughing into her hair. John had been a gangly teen, but he had grown into it now, with broad shoulders and a soft stomach that Roxy loved to lean against while they played video games. “It’s been forever!”

“Too long,” John agreed, then stepped back to reveal the other visitor who had been half-hiding behind him. Dirk had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and he moved with John as if he was tempted to dive right back behind him.

Roxy fixed Dirk with a Look and opened her arms for a hug. He stepped forwards to oblige, ducking his head so the edges of his shades weren’t a threat to Roxy’s perfect face. His hugs had become familiar over the years, brittle but genuine, all long limbs and restless fingers. Roxy squeezed him once, pressing her cheek against his hair, before she let him step back. He didn’t look like he was inclined to talk, which was fair enough. Roxy could guess that they were all nervous about their evening plans.

“Come on in, you guys. Don’t mind the mess, it’s been a busy day.” Roxy showed them in, ushering them to the couch.

“Oh, I understand,” John laughed. He had a backpack over one shoulder, patterned with little red robots. Roxy guessed that it was the supplies for Dirk, who was currently dressed in his usual outfits: unassuming, plain clothes from the newest brand that cost an arm and a leg. Roxy didn’t keep up with that sort of thing, but she could admit that Dirk always looked nice. “It’s hard to keep track of everything when someone’s over-excited.”

“You can say that again,” Roxy sighed. She and John had been good friends over the years since the game had ended, and one regular part of their relationship was chatting about their forays into caregiving. It was different, of course, because Dave and Roxy weren’t dating, but John and Roxy were still two members of the friend-group who dealt with regressors in some form or another. They had found each other a valuable resource to share ideas, tips, questions, and just to vent about their exhaustion occasionally.

“Alright, so we’re getting set up in here?” John asked, looking around the room. “Is that still the plan?”

“Yep, I think it’s the best way to do things,” Roxy said. “Help yourself to snacks, toys, anything apart from the stuffed dinosaurs. Dave’s a little protective of those guys, but everything else is fair game. Do you need anything before I head out?”

“Nope! I think I can work with this,” John said, rubbing one hand across Dirk’s shoulders. Dirk hadn’t taken a single step away from John since they entered, almost pressed against his side. “Give us about fifteen?”

“No rush,” Roxy told them. “We’re happy to watch some TV in the bedroom.”

“I’ll let you know.” John seemed pretty confident, something that Roxy had always envied. She was never sure if she was doing things right with Dave: his younger self was so different from his older self, and he was resistant to talking about it openly when he wasn’t regressed. John and Dirk had much more communication set up, and many stricter rules. Maybe it was part of their relationship, but maybe it was just what Dirk needed. Roxy knew that Dirk’s headspace was more consciously constructed that Dave’s, and he preferred to structure it with safewords and rules, while Dave wouldn’t be able to set good boundaries when he regressed.

“Cool, we’ll be around!” Roxy brushed a hand against Dirk’s arm on her way out, smiling at him over her shoulder. She was excited to see him smaller, excited to see John taking care of him first-hand. It wasn’t that she couldn’t picture it, she just couldn’t picture herself in the situation with them. She fiercely hoped that it would all go well, but of course her priority was…

“Dave!” she called as a soft warning before opening the door.

Her son/not-son was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, working on a puzzle she had bought for him. It was a little more complicated than a normal four-year-old could handle, but Dave’s hand-eye coordination wasn’t quite as bad as a bio-toddler, and Roxy tried to err on the side of something too hard instead of something that would take him five seconds.

Dave looked up at Roxy with wide eyes, his lips pressed together in an expression dangerously close to a pout.  

“Oh, baby, are you nervous?” Roxy closed the door and swept down to kneel beside Dave, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Don’t wanna do this,” Dave muttered, hands clenched into fists. Roxy put her hands over his, easing them apart and revealing the puzzle pieces he had been crushing in his palms.

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Roxy watched Dave carefully. She was excited about their plans, but Dave’s comfort came first. She knew that this was a risky situation for everyone involved, something that she’d been thinking about for over a year, but pushing it wasn’t going to help. “Little brothers are a lot of work.”

Dave visibly perked up at the reminder that he would be the big brother in this situation. The difference in age was one reason why John and Roxy found it so interesting to compare their experiences: Dave was a fairly active toddler, with a lot of curiosity and energy, while Dirk’s headspace was closer to an infant, and he was a largely reactive child, easily entertained by simple toys or a TV show.

“Do we have to play?” Dave’s question took Roxy a moment to put together.

“You mean, play with each other?” Dave nodded. “I don’t think you need to play together if you don’t want to! Dirk is pretty tiny, I don’t know if he does much playing. It’s mostly going to be you and me just like normal.”

“But John?” Dave covered his face, nerves and embarrassment making their way through his regression. His voice came back to his adult voice as he curled inward. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Roxy hummed sympathetically, giving Dave his space. “Like I said, we can back out at any time. But I know that John is really excited about this, just like I am. He wants to meet you, little one. He already knows he’s going to love you.”

Dave made an incoherent sound of protest, flapping his hands in front of his curled-in knees.

“Anyone would be lucky to spend time with you, honey.” Roxy curled up beside Dave, mirroring his position with a bit of space between them. “I’m so lucky to be your mom. And John loves you a whole lot, he won’t stop talking about it! He’s going to be over the moon that you trust him with this. Even if it only lasts a little while, he’s going to be excited for months. You know him.”

Dave laughed, clearly still out of regression. “John’s a nerd.”

“Oh, that’s not up for debate,” Roxy smiled. “But he’s also a very good daddy when he needs to be.”

“Weird.” Dave shook his head. “Can’t picture him as a dad.”

“I don’t think I knew what I’d be like as a mom,” Roxy mused. “I’m sure that Dirk is just as nervous about it all. I don’t think anyone knows what’s going to happen with the four of us, really. I can’t imagine how much Dirk is struggling with the lack of structure.” Dave chuckled at that. He and Dirk had a mixed but friendly relationship as adults, so he knew exactly what Roxy was talking about. Whenever things didn’t go exactly to plan, Dirk tended to fly off without a single word. Roxy knew that it was his way of trying to stop himself from making everyone stick to the original plan, but it didn’t stop it from being a kind of disorienting response.

“Okay.” Roxy watched Dave as he uncurled from his little ball and took a deep breath. “I do want to do this.”

“Yeah?” Roxy stretched out her arm in an invitation, and Dave scooted over to press against her side. His breaths were long and slow, trying to calm himself down. “It’s up to you.”

“No, I really do. I was excited about it.”

“Alright, then we’ll do it.” Roxy set her hands on Dave’s waist, pulling him gently up to sit on her lap. He was a little bigger than her, but very light. He was the perfect weight when she held him in her lap like this, her arms wrapped around his waist and her cheek pressed against his shoulder blade. “I’m excited too.”

--

Getting Dave back into regression was a process, but some cuddles, a bit of calculated tickling, and an episode of Loony Toons did the trick, and soon they were both laughing on the bed, Dave’s laughter that free and louder sound that Roxy only got to hear when he was regressed.

Both of them were startled by the knock on the door, but Roxy reacted first, pausing the show and rubbing Dave’s back to calm him down.

“What’s up?” Roxy called towards the door.

“We’re all ready in the living room whenever you want to come out!” John informed them.

“Alright!” Roxy said loudly, then turned to Dave as John’s footsteps retreated down the hallway. “Do you want to finish our episode before we go play in the living room? I brought out your lego.” Dave’s duplo lego collection was a bit ridiculous, but it meant that he could build a house big enough for him to fit into. Roxy stored them in a little void-pocket in one of her drawers, and pulled out the huge rubberneck containers whenever there was a special occasion. This definitely qualified.

“Lego,” Dave nodded, already moving off the bed.

“Okay,” Roxy said. “Now, remember not to shout around Dirk, okay? He’s very small.”

“No shouting for the baby!” Dave repeated at a very high volume. Roxy shrugged internally. There was only so much she could do, and Dave would probably be alright once he was actually in the same room as his older-younger-not-brother.

“That’s right, no shouting around the baby,” Roxy said encouragingly. She opened the door to the hallway, leading the way out. “Do you think you could build a house for him?”

“For both of us!” Dave said.

“Well, I don’t know if we have enough for something that big,” Roxy laughed.

“Gonna make a big house!” Dave wasn’t willing to be discouraged.  

“Okay, you can see how big you can make it,” Roxy allowed. Dave was bouncing on each step, clearly mixing nerves and excitement into a desire to run into the room as quickly as possible. Roxy kept their pace slow and her footsteps audible, letting both John and Dirk adjust to the idea that they were entering the room.

As they stepped into the living room, John looked up with a smile. Dirk was huddled against his side, eyes closed and a plain white pacifier hiding his mouth.

“Dirk is sleepy, but he can doze through anything,” John told them softly. “I thought it might be nice for him to wake up to you, when he wakes up properly.” Roxy could tell that Dirk wasn’t really asleep, but it made sense that he would want to lay quietly for a while, adjusting to their presence and the way that they interacted.

“I hope he sleeps well,” Roxy said, and gave Dave a gentle nudge towards the boxes of lego that were stacked in the corner. “Do you think you can play quietly, sweetheart?”

Dave nodded and soundlessly glided over to the lego boxes. That wasn’t exactly what Roxy had meant, but he didn’t seem to have been jostled out of regression by the request, so it was probably alright. Triggering requests usually made Dave age up faster than anything, so his calm unpacking of the lego was a sign that he was still regressed, despite the absolutely silent movements that usually showed his discomfort as an adult.

“Dave is determined to make a big house for him and the baby,” Roxy told John. “He’s very good at lego.”

“Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun!” John swivelled his head to watch Dave start sorting the pieces from the box, quiet and methodical, glancing over to Roxy every few moments. Roxy kept her eye on him and offered a proud smile every time he checked in with her. “Dave, do you think I could help with that? I’m a big fan of lego myself.”

“If you’re quiet,” Dave said in a hushed voice.

“We don’t need to be too quiet,” John laughed. “Dirk really can sleep through anything.” He placed a fond kiss on the top of Dirk’s hair, and then carefully extracted himself, guiding Dirk’s head to rest on one of the couch cushions. John murmured something against his cheek and then moved away, letting Dirk curl up into himself a bit more, the pacifier shifting in his mouth. “I think you’re doing a good job so far, though.” He squeezed Roxy’s shoulder on his way by, kneeling down beside Dave’s boxes of lego when he reached them. “You give the orders! What can I do to help?”

Dave scanned John up and down, the only sign of his discomfort the pattern of his fingers tapping against each other over and over again. “You can get all the big blue pieces and make them into a wall,” he said eventually, pushing the box between them. “No holes.”

“Can do!” John said enthusiastically, diving into the box with gusto. Roxy chuckled, moving over to sit in one of the chairs and watch. Some things never changed, and one of them was John’s adoration for Dave, clearly. She watched them build together, Dave eventually falling into John’s rhythms and becoming louder, laughing and even knocking over one of the walls on purpose to make John fake a pout at having to start again.

“Play nice, Dave!” she called over, when it was clear that he was considering doing it again. Dave aimed a little frown at her, but settled down and continued his own building.

Roxy settled back in her chair, considering picking up some water from the kitchen. Dave always forgot to keep hydrated as an adult, so Roxy tried to keep a sippy cup always in his reach when he was regressing at her house, but she had left it in the bedroom. She shifted, ready to offer John a drink while she was going to the kitchen, when she noticed that Dirk’s eyes were open and fixed on her.

Roxy froze. She could see the swirling orange of his eyes, the way his long lashes framed them, the angles of his face somehow softer without the sunglasses he wore every day. She felt afraid of the intimacy in meeting those eyes, overwhelmed by a surge of panic that she couldn’t trace to a concrete thought.

“John,” she called, trying to hide her panic. “Dirk is awake.” John immediately extracted himself from the lego with Dave, leaving the regressor with an affectionate hair-tousle that made Dave scowl. He trotted over to the couch and knelt down beside Dirk to give him an over-dramatic set of kisses on his cheek.

“Did you enjoy your nap?” John asked, nuzzling his nose against Dirk’s. Dirk’s eyes fell closed as he laughed, the pacifier garbling the sound. He wrapped his arms around John’s neck, pulling him closer, and John obediently scooped Dirk into his arms.

Roxy found she couldn’t watch the display, feeling too much like an intruder. She bounced to her feet as quietly as she could, trying not to interrupt, and made her way over to Dave, who was entirely focused on the lego house he was making. It was coming along quickly, the bigger lego blocks fitting together into simple blocky structures. Two walls of the house were almost finished, with one featuring a gap for a window. It looked like each wall was going to be a different colour, and the one that Dave was finishing was a bright green.

“I’m fetching your sippy from my room,” Roxy told Dave. “Do you want me to get Rexatorius while I’m in there?” Rexatorius was not in fact a t-rex, but a brontosaur: both of them enjoyed the name anyways.

“Yes, please.” Dave was very polite as a child, his southern accent stretching the words out. “Can I have more juice?”

“You can! Coming right up,” Roxy told him, and headed off to the bedroom without another look at the two on the couch. She collected the dinosaur plushie and the sippy cup, tucking Rexatorius under her arm as she navigated through the living room on her way to the kitchen.

“John, do you want some water or some apple juice?” she called back into the other room.

“I’m good, thank you.”

It still shocked Roxy sometimes, how much they had all grown up. Collecting water for herself in her own kitchen, with glasses she had chosen, offering drinks to guests, having people over for a dinner party… it still felt so foreign. Being twenty-three hadn’t been something that Roxy had ever considered, always focused on making it to sixteen, always focused on making it to the game that would change everything, would save the world, would save her from the empty echoing rooms of the mansion she’d spent her childhood inside.

And here she was, a part-time mother, a part-time host, a full-time adult who was involved in politics, of all things, as well as going into her Masters in ecto-biology with multiple offers for a full-time job afterwards (thanks to their fame, all of the planet-founders were highly desired as a source of publicity and funding for whatever career they wanted to pursue). Roxy, in short, had somehow become an adult.

Roxy shook the reverie away as she rinsed the sippy cup between servings of apple juice, filled a cup of water for herself, and grabbed a bag of chips just in case anyone wanted a snack. Back in the living room, John was settled on the couch and Dirk was on the floor, playing with a wooden puzzle that was made to look like a circuit board.

“One serving of juice!” Roxy dropped it off next to Dave with a kiss and Rexatorius, patting the dino on the back before retreating. Dave could handle his own lego building, and it had never been one of Roxy’s interests. She would happily come to ooh and ahh when the building was all done.

Roxy approached John and Dirk cautiously, and John looked up to give her a smile and a wave to come join them.

“Roxy! Do you want to meet the baby?”

“I would love to.” Roxy pushed away the anticipation she had been feeling and focused on Dirk on the floor, trying to push away all the past experiences they’d had, the fights and the two am vent sessions and the ill-conceived projects they’d come up with together. She knew what regression meant to Dave, but she didn’t know what it meant to Dirk, and she needed to keep an open mind.

“Hey Dirk,” John said, getting down on his level on his hands and knees. “I want you to meet Daddy’s friend, Roxy. She’s Dave’s mom, remember? We came to visit her and Dave.” Dirk glanced up from his puzzle at Roxy, and Roxy was taken aback again by the sharpness of his eyes. There was none of the hazy contentedness of Dave’s regression. Dirk stared directly and piercingly towards Roxy’s face.

“Hi,” Roxy managed. “It’s good to meet you.” She almost held out her hand, and jerked it back. Dirk’s eyes followed the movement.

“Can you say hi to Roxy?” John prompted Dirk. Dirk shook his head, and dropped his eyes back to his puzzle. Roxy tried not to feel rejected, but her heart spasmed. “That’s okay,” John said softly, and smiled up at Roxy from the floor. “Dirk’s not so good at words,” he explained. “What about sharing your puzzle?” John asked, pointing to the piece that Dirk was holding in his hand. “Can Roxy help you?”

Dirk hesitated, nodded, and then held the piece out in Roxy’s direction without looking at her.

Somehow this motion reassured Roxy, something more akin to a shy child than Dirk’s own mannerisms when he was on edge.

“Thank you,” she said gently, accepting the piece and kneeling down. “Did your daddy get you this puzzle?” It was easy enough to find where the piece went, but she took her time looking. Dirk nodded, sucking on his pacifier with a soft sound. “He’s a pretty good daddy, huh?” Roxy smiled at John as Dirk nodded more enthusiastically.

Dirk picked up another piece and held it close as he surveyed the puzzle. Roxy gave him the time to figure it out, and he eventually pushed it into the right place. He picked up another piece and pushed it into Roxy’s hands again.

“Thank you!” She took the piece from him and hummed thoughtfully as she pretended to search for the right place. “Does it go here?” She put it in the wrong place, and nodded with satisfaction. Dirk laughed and shook his head. “No? Are you sure?” Dirk picked up the puzzle piece and slotted it into the right place, still laughing.

“Oh!” Roxy hit her forehead. “Why didn’t I see that?”

Dirk rolled his eyes at her, but he was still laughing.

“I know,” Roxy nodded. “I’m a silly mom, I can’t help it.”

“G’d mmm,” Dirk muttered, his voice quiet and slurred by the pacifier.

“Sorry, sweetheart, what?” Roxy leaned closer, trying to hear him, but Dirk only shook his head emphatically and picked up a new piece of the puzzle, fitting it into place with none of his earlier hesitation.

“He said you’re a good mom,” John interpreted, rubbing Dirk’s back with a calming motion that Roxy recognized from using it with Dave herself.

“Aww!” Roxy pressed her palms to her cheeks, grinning. “I hope that Dave agrees with you.”

Dave’s voice came as if on cue, from over the couch. “Moooom!”

“On my way!” Roxy called back, more softly. She didn’t want to scare Dirk, who was leaning into John’s touch and closing his eyes. She rose to her feet, automatically helping herself with her god-tier weightlessness as she pushed herself upwards. Dave was standing by his house, which had three walls finished. “What’s wrong, baby?” Roxy drew closer, and Dave threw himself into her arms, wrapping his arms around her.

“Don’t go,” he whispered into her shoulder, and Roxy could feel him shaking slightly.

“Oh, no, honey.” Roxy wrapped her arms back around Dave, squeezing him against her. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m your mom. I wouldn’t leave you for the world.”

“I could hear you and you were gone,” Dave protested, curling tighter into her arms.

“I was just visiting the others, over by the couch,” Roxy told him, rocking slightly to comfort him. “Not gone, never gone.”

“I thought…” Dave trailed off, derailing into a mumble that Roxy couldn’t make out, despite her experience with Dave’s rambles.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Roxy soothed. “I love you so much, and I always will. I’ll always be your mom.”

“My mom?” Dave echoed.

“Yes, honey, your mom.” She cupped Dave’s cheek to tilt his face up for a forehead kiss. “No one else’s.”

“Okay.” Dave seemed to have calmed down quite a bit, but he was still holding tight to Roxy.

“Do you want to work more on your house?” Roxy cast an eye over the work Dave had done so far. “Or do you want to meet Dirk?”

“Dunno.” Dave rocked back and forth slightly in Roxy’s lap.

“Well, why don’t you come say hi? You can go straight back to your lego after that, if you’d like.” Dave nodded.

“Okay.”

Roxy helped Dave to his feet, keeping her hands on his and helping him stay upright when he was standing. He wasn’t always clumsy when he regressed, but it was usually a surprise to both of them when he had trouble walking, so she tried to be careful.

“Follow me, sweetheart.” She led Dave over to the carpet, glancing over to see that Dirk was twirling his fingers into the mane of a horse plushie, John singing a soft lullaby. John looked up when they walked in, but Dirk kept his eyes on his twirling fingers.

“Dirk?” Dave said quietly.

Dirk’s back stiffened and then he let out a breath and turned, blinking up at Dave.

Dave’s eyes widened and Roxy could practically see his excitement take over from nerves. Dirk looked quieter and unthreatening without his glasses, his plain white onesie and his long lanky pale limbs curled up against John’s chest.

“Hi!” Dave gushed, dropping to sit beside John and Dirk before glancing up at John and Roxy for approval. Roxy smiled warmly at him, and John nodded and shifted his grip on Dirk so that he was facing out towards Dave more. “I’m Dave!”

“…” Dirk looked at him for a long second, then hid his face behind the horse plushie he was holding.

“You’re a baby, but I’m really old,” Dave told Dirk seriously. “I’m gonna build us a lego house to live in.” Dirk raised his head again, smiling around the pacifier, and Dave smiled back. It was strange for Roxy, to see the instinct-driven space that Dave lived in, that she understood so well, and the difference between him and Dirk. Dirk was so clearly not as regressed, still cautious and deliberate. Maybe this was just him getting used to a new space? Or maybe this really was how he regressed. Or maybe this was how he’d been when he was a baby, making his way around his home in the middle of the ocean.

“Good job, Dave,” Roxy praised, resting a hand on his head. “Be gentle with your little brother.” She knew from talking with John that Dirk reacted well to being reminded that he was supposed to be small, regressed, a baby without responsibilities. Dave was very passionate about being a ‘big boy’ and pushed his limits further than Roxy would like. Another difference between them.

“Do you want to hold him?” John offered, cradling Dirk’s head against his shoulder gently.

Dave glanced back at Roxy, eyes wide. She could tell that he was intrigued but uncertain.

“I would love to,” Roxy said, knowing the question had been directed at both of them. “Why don’t I carry him to the couch, and you can sit with us, Dave? I can read you both a story, how about that?”

“Yeah.” Dave bobbed his head, subdued.

Roxy knelt in front of her two friends, smiling fondly at John and the tender way he handled Dirk. “May I?”

“Of course.” John guided her hands, one under Dirk’s knees and the other cradling his neck. Roxy had carried Dirk before, mostly out of his workshop before John had started taking over the task of disrupting Dirk’s manic work episodes. He had never been so unclothed, her skin touching his as she lifted him into her arms and settled him against her chest.

Dirk wasn’t light, thin but muscled. The only reason Roxy could lift him with ease was because she was taller than him, much to his ill-hidden annoyance when he’d first met her in person. He was the shortest of the eight of them, with Rose a close second.

Roxy looked down at Dirk as she carried him carefully towards the couch, and was surprised again to find him watching her. She smiled gently, even though his eyes were piercing.

“Hello,” she cooed. “Did you like meeting Dave?” The boy in question was following behind them, craning his neck to look at Dirk over Roxy’s shoulder. “He was so excited to have a baby brother.” Roxy shifted her weight back and forth, bouncing Dirk slightly in her arms as she reached the couch. “You are very sweet, I see why your daddy talks about you so much.”

That got a reaction: Dirk’s eyes crinkled, and an unfamiliar burbling laugh came from behind his pacifier.

Roxy gasped. “And adorable too! I should have known your daddy wouldn’t lie about that.” She turned around and settled on the couch, making sure Dirk wasn’t jostled by the movement as she settled him in her lap. Dave climbed up beside her and clung to her arm, wrapping both hands around her left hand and trying to pull it off Dirk’s back.

“Careful, Dave,” Roxy said. “Dirk needs a lot of support when I’m holding him, he’s only a baby.” Dave frowned, but let go of her hand and let Roxy arrange Dirk more properly, his head leaning against her chest and leaving her left hand free to hold Dave’s hand.

“John,” Roxy called. John had been sitting on the floor with Dirk’s toys, beaming quietly as he watched them move to the couch.  

“Yes, Roxy?” he called back.

“I think these boys have my hands occupied, would you mind reading us a story?”

“But of course!” John got to his feet and came over, standing in front of them with his hands on his hips. He really did have some proper dad energy, especially with the light stubble that he’d allowed to grow on his cheeks and chin. “What kind of book should we read?”

“Pigeon!” Dave shouted.

Roxy could feel Dirk flinch in her arms.

“Indoor voice, sweetheart,” Roxy told Dave quietly, stroking Dave’s arm and rocking Dirk back and forth to sooth them both. Two kids was a lot of work: she was very glad that she wasn’t a mother to both of them. Even if Dirk was very sweet, and she wouldn’t mind babysitting once in a while. She was sure that John felt the same about Dave: the two of them seemed to have had a lot of fun building the lego together. “Don’t scare the baby.”

Dirk relaxed again at those words, and Roxy held him a little closer. It was unexpectedly intimate, this age. John had talked about diapers and how they both felt like it brought them closer together, but even the experience of holding Dirk while he was this vulnerable felt dangerous, like touching a live wire, yet insanely comfortable at the same time. Where the two feelings met was what Roxy thought of as intimacy.

John was still standing in front of them, and Roxy realized that she would have to tell him what Dave meant.

“It’s on the second shelf under the TV, far right,” she said. “Don’t let the pigeon drive the bus. Have you read it?”

“We don’t read very much,” John shrugged as he went for the shelf and started flipping through kid’s books. “We have a couple board books and Dr. Seuss but Dirk prefers TV before bed instead of a story.”

“I’m not allowed TV before bed,” Dave said accusatorily, and John glanced at Roxy with clear panic.

“That’s because Dirk’s daddy doesn’t take care of you,” Roxy said. “I wouldn’t allow Dirk any TV before bed either, but his daddy gets to decide that.”

Dave thought that over for a bit.

“Can John be my babysitter maybe?” he suggested. “And then I could watch TV before bed?”

“We’ll talk about it sometime,” Roxy laughed. “He’s got his own little one to look after, just like I have you. But if you’re having a good time, we’ll try to get together more.”

“Yeah!” Dave settled onto the couch properly as John came back with the requested book held in both hands. “More time with Dirk and John is good.”

“I agree,” said Roxy, resting her cheek against Dirk’s soft hair as John flipped to the first page and prepared to start reading. “It’s nice to have a bit of company.”