#or the reverse--not buy enough and have to keep buying more till it's done

[honeyshiddendesire]

Dirty Alphabet - Shanks

Shanks x Female Reader

*banner*

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Loves his sleep but loves you more. So expect him to clean you up after whether it’s with his mouth or a nice hot bath for the two of you

B = Breath Play (do they like it done to them or doing the deed)

Both I can see him being a kinky dude 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Creampie enthusiast lol loves stuffing that pussy full of his seed while telling you how pretty you look doing it

D = Dirtiest Kink (what they think is their dirtiest kink)

Daddy kink for sure but not like that simple calling him daddy stuff. Oh no! He wants to see you in the pretty skirts, with the pigtails and remind you that he’s the older one, even going as far as saying, “Be careful sweetie don’t want mommy to hear you.” It’s dirty and deranged and he just can’t get enough of your shocked gasp before you finally give into his dark desire.

E = Exhibitionist?  (Do they like being watched)

Watch him all you want but he’ll tease you the entire time, giving you a nice dirty show. Stroking his cock and telling you to help him out by spitting on his dick so he can glide his palm against himself

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl! Both reverse and regular.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Will tease and crack jokes whenever he can unless it honestly makes you uncomfortable but he’s very much go with the flow.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Groomed pretty nice but likes his happy trail 

I = Initiation (how do they get you going? Vice versa )

Hornball just like all the other red haired men in this show lol Can’t keep his hand off of you whenever you pass by him. Will pull you into his lap and whisper some filth in your ear till you’re the one begging him to take you to your room.

J = Jealous (how do they get when jealous )

Honestly you could try and make him jealous even going as far as having someone buy you a drink and it would backfire on you, tbh he’d probably cheer you on. But if someone gets handsy with you during your little jealousy game then he’ll step in wrapping his arm around you pulling you into the biggest, sloppiest kiss. Once yall get back to the room be prepared for the spanking of a lifetime.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Shanks loves loves lovesss watching you masturbate, make it pretty for him and put on a show and he's gonna melt. He’ll try and sit still till the end but he can’t help himself and will pounce, licking your cunt like a lollipop

Loves spanking you. Hearing you yelp and seeing you squirm as you’re bent over his lap makes his cock so hard. Grinding his cock into your belly as he lays spank after spank on your cute booty, enjoys seeing it move with every smack.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Will literally fuck you anywhere but prefers his comfy bed so you can be your loudest.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

If you bend over to pick something up he’ll materialize right behind you in an instant, or you come behind him and rub his shoulders. If you flirt even a little he’ll become like a pot of boiling water waiting to blow off his steam and load all over you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Won’t draw blood from you so he’ll never be too rough with you. If you happen to be on your menstrual then he’s fine and dandy but if he’s the cause for your blood then he’ll freak out.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Great pussy eater and can spend hours between those pretty legs, using his arm to pin your tummy down preventing you from moving or running away. Loves receiving as well but except him to fuck your face nice and slow while praising you on your perfect skills.

P = Position (favorite position)

Cowgirl - so he can see your pretty face as you work those hips he loves so much

Reverse Cowgirl- Loves spanking your ass as you bounce on his cock, pulling your hair so you arch your back on his cock. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Whenever and wherever you guys can sneak off to he is all for it lol

R = Rope (shibari, bondage? Do they like it?)

Definitely down to try anything. Loves seeing you unable to move as you’re all tied up and isn’t opposed to being the one tied and at your mercy but he’ll still talk like he’s in charge.

S = Sharing? (Are they willing to share you?)

It’s up to you but he’d only share you with Benn of course.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Loves them. Want a vibrator? Then he’ll fuck you senseless while holding it to your clit until you’re shaking and regretting the purchase. Want him to wear a cock ring? Sure he’ll be your victim no problem. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not to unfair but lives to tease and drive you wild

V = Voyeur (do they like to watch)

Most definitely but he’ll only watch for so long before he gets impatient

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Can totally see this man pretending like he doesn’t know you in a bar just to have the excuse to pick you up again. Pretending you’re both cheating on your dear partners until you’re both tangled in the sheets in a lusty sweaty mess. The whole time Benn and the crew will just laugh along with your antics 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Not the girthiest but that man is long and curved poking you right in your special spot. Won’t stretch you too much but you’ll feel him deep in your tummy. Will even tease you by putting his cock against your stomach, winking that that's where he’s about to be.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

When he’s away you’re in the forefront of his mind and the second he’s back on the ship then he’ll drag you off somewhere in a second. If you’re not on his crew and he has to leave then you’re his masturbation material until he finally has you in his reach and returns back to your island.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not quickly, he loves being a gentleman taking care of all your wants and needs and that includes anything you’ll need after a body numbing session but once you’re all good then he’s snoring like a big baby.

[ceslatoil]

Ghost Filbrick AU

So a few weeks ago I was in the group chat and I pitched an idea for a fic (not writing it anytime soon, I have enough projects on my plate for now!) and it’s about the Pines family visiting Ma Pines before she moves to an assisted care facility. Main idea is that Dipper and Mabel meet Filbrick’s ghost who is trying to hinder the move, and the family trying to get him to move on. Lots of family drama ensues.

I wrote like, a scrap of a script draft for it if y’all wanna read it below:

(Scene: The grown ups, including CARYN, STAN, FORD and COOPER, MABEL & DIPPER’s dad, are all up playing cards. CARYN pulls out the Tarot Deck)

Caryn: I call this one “Last Man Standing!” You put down a card and the other player has to put down either the same suit or card number. If someone plays a major arcana card like wheel of fortune or the star, they can switch up the minor arcana suit. If you play death or the tower, the other players draw four. Whoever has zero cards wins!

Dad Pines: Grandma I think you just reverse engineered Uno

Stan: Dad wouldn’t buy us more than one card deck, so we made due with Ma’s tarot.

Ford: I thought it was to keep you from cheating the deck

Caryn: Both things could be true! Now hush.

Stan: … Coop is everything all right with Dipper? It’s not my business but… he seemed pretty cagey with ya earlier.

Caryn: Cagey? The kid stormed out of the room in the middle of dinner! Granted it was *my* cooking, so I can’t really hold a grudge on that front. (*plays a card*) That’s The Fool, so we’re reversing direction.

Ford: … It just doesn’t seem like him.

Coop: … that’s been the norm lately, I’m afraid. I don’t think he’s handling the divorce well, with me moving out and I just haven’t been around as much since then.

Ford: Mabel told us in one of her letters you were in family therapy together?

Coop: We’ve had a few sessions, yes. She loved it, got along great with our counselor. I think she asked a few times about becoming a therapist someday! But Dipper doesn’t really participate much during the sessions. He just sulks in the corner, like he doesn’t want to be there at all.

Stan: He’ll get over it. He’s stubborn, but not the type to hold a grudge.

Ford: I can’t imagine any of this is easy for any of you.

Coop: Weirdly enough, me and Annie— uh, Annie and *I*— have gotten on better than ever. Divorce was the best thing to happen to our relationship, it’s like we’re finally friends again?

Stan: Divorce ain’t so bad, I’ve done it at least six times now!

Caryn: I thought about divorcing your father, but he died before I got around to it. Suit change.

Ford: when did Dad pass?

Stan: … ‘97.

Ford: … I see. (*silence*)

Caryn: … Let’s not talk about funerals right now. God knows I’ve been to enough of ‘em. I’m just glad one of ‘em didn’t count. (*pinches Stan’s cheek.*)

Stan: … me too, Ma.

Ford: … Last Man Standing

Stan: Like hell you are, you shit, draw four!

Ford: … that’s not the tower, that’s a Stan Buck!

Caryn: Don’t tell me you’re still making Stan Bucks! You know damn well that’s not how money works!

(This next part is self indulgent and idk if I’ll include it in the fic proper)

Caryn: Now Stanford… let me ask you a question. Why the hell have you been hiding your left hand in your pocket all night?

Ford:…. I don’t know what you mean— HEY!

(Caryn pulls his hand out of his pocket, examines his second ring finger)

Caryn: Stanford Filbrick why does it look like you have a wedding band on your finger?

Ford: …. (*sighs*) because I have a wedding band on my finger.

Caryn: AHA! Here we are moping about death and divorce and you sit on good news like that! Who is she? Who’s your wife? Where’d you meet her, what’s her family like, what does she do?

Ford:… I don’t have a wife. I have a husband.

Stan: The guy used to live in the dump and now he’s a millionaire inventor running for president.

Caryn: You married McGucket?! Me and the girls canvassed for him this year! Wait till I tell that Janine, that’ll get her to pipe down about her Chiropractor Son-In-Law for once!

Coop: I really like his policies on infrastructure, very forward thinking!

Stan: Eh, I’m voting third party. Nothing personal, I just don’t want a brother in law who’s commander in chief. It would make thanksgiving a nightmare.

Ford: You’re a felon, you can’t vote at all.

Stan: That hasn’t stopped me in thirty years!

Ford: So Ma, you’re… fine with—

Caryn: Sweetie, until this morning I thought two of my sons were dead and one cut all ties. I figured I deserved it. Sitting back while your Father gave you all grief for nothin. I told myself if I ever saw you again I’d take you as is, and I meant it.