#or the fact that he's dating catniss

[novafloofeatsbirds]

i fucking hate edward castle cats. why is this all about him what about pipsqueak and kai

[margsld]

Outlander Epi 3.02 Recap

Surrender your link to a decent Barber for 6 years....

This week’s cracking episode is written by Anne Kenney.  It jumps between the two centuries quite a bit, so stick with me.

With Jamie back from Culloden and red coats on the prowl, Jamie’s having to hide in a cave. Local gossipers assure the red coat patrols that Red Jamie is in the area and also a weird guy going by the name of the Dun Bonnet. (The Dun Bonnet is a real tale of a Jacobite who hid his flaming red hair under a hat as a way of ye olde camouflage.)  It doesn’t work quite so well with our hero as you’ll soon find out watching this episode.

Lallybroch is always a symbol of home and there is nothing more domestic than seeing the kids playing outside the house.  Fergus, Rabbie McNab and wee Jamie Murray are heading to the Doo Cot (Dove Housing facility) to try to locate a pistol that Ian Murray had stashed there after Culloden.  The boys find it and as boys do, boast about their wartime frivolities and other boyish bullshite.  Redcoats take that opportunity to arrive for a quick raid so they hustle the gun back to its hiding position and go to see what’s amiss at the house. Captain Samual Lewis of his Majesty’s 10th Dragoons says he’s looking for Ian’s brother-in-law aka Jamie Fraser, aka Red Jamie, aka Dun Bonnet, aka not here, we swear it. They threaten to hang anyone who harbours a traitor.  He also offers a reward but they all plead ignorance.  Fergus winds up the nearest nasty red coat Corporal McGregor, as they whisk Ian Murray away under arrest.  That’s not ominous at all, is it?

Speaking of looking for needles in a haystack, we then catch up with the human haystack of red hair, the Dun Bonnet himself.  He’s a graduate of Catniss Everdeen’s school of Archery and makes short work of a big stag that he’s nicknamed Frank for some reason.

Arriving back at Lallybroch with his kill, he mistakens Jenny for dream Claire.  Jenny scolds him for being creepy.  Amen sister, grab some scissors ay?  He dumps the enormous carcass for butchering, a symbol of his current level of happy as Jenny carries on telling him the daily news; Ian’s been arrested again, Mrs McNab needs servicing etc.  Fergus wants to butcher the deer then the whole red coat garrison but we all know that won’t work.  Kids!  Jamie is intent on making venison steaks and continues his mute party of one.  Frustrating sibling moment.

Claire is having her own party of one back in Boston.  She is fantasising about a giant fuzzy peach and practising her yoga breathing skills so as not to wake a hard working Frank.  She is so thoughtful.

Baby Bree is learning to roll over like a good puppy while Claire catches up on her bible, The Globe.  Ireland has become a republic, free of British rule.  This is a nice nod to Caitriona being Irish and also a kick that Scotland still hasn’t reached this milestone, aka Culloden failed reminder.  Frank, wrapped in just a towel( interrupted showering by a dodgy boiler ) comes to see his clever daughter playing puppy and the three have a sweet family moment.  Claire is turned on by his nudie run and wishes that towel didn’t just accidentally fall to the floor on his way to fix the boiler.  Didn’t we all.  Just a week peek at that lilly white butt, cmon!

Skulking is Jamies new skill and he tip-toes through the woods to his hidey-hole when Fergus drops in for a cuppa and wee chat about how to use this silly pistol. Fergus is deluded that he can protect all of Lallybroch with it and Milord is not happy.  Fergus accuses him of being a coward and Jamie tells him no more fighting.  To keep an eye on things, Jamie pops into check out the ledgers at Lallybroch and Mary McNab hopes this is cave-speak for “Lets go on a date” but they are sidetracked when Jamie hears Jenny screaming from the house.  Dinna fash, the latest bairn is coming early. 

The wee neds, Fergus, Rabbie and wee Jamie spot a messenger of death - a Raven and go and get the pistol to dispatch it back to a Game of Thrones set.  Completely forgetting all reason and the fact that nearby red coats have ears, they shoot the bird.  Jamie is so cross it makes him actually speak and Mary pops in as she so annoyingly does this whole episode to announce the baby is fine and takes the gun.  She scolds them for what is probably the millionth time.

Jenny loves seeing a baby in Jamie’s arms and it reminds her he is practically a virgin again.  She downloads the Lallybroch Tinder app and creates him a profile under the handle Cave-dwelling Dun Bonnet.  Red coats arrive of course, to search for the weapon in the house.  Jamie has the baby and quickly hides in a spare room. Yes, its odd they didn’t check that room but testosterone. They question Jenny, still in her post-birth glow and tear the room apart.  She lies to them about the baby dying when it’s missing from the room and they demand to see the body.  Mary who is channelling a missing Murtagh or McGyver, pops up again to save the day and hands the pistol over, confessing it was her dead husband’s and she was killing the blasted Raven.  Happy they had the pistol at last, the red coats leave.  Jamie returns the baby to his mum with a big sad face again.  (Fun Fact: Laura O’Donnelly used her own newborn in this scene so that is why the breastfeeding is so real!)  Nice touch.  Jamie is finding all this red coat business a bit of an annoyance and Jenny says this new Captain won’t give up till he’s hanging from a noose.   

Claire is still on the high speed train to Hornsville and decides she misses her husband. Which one, Claire?  Hmmmm?  She wakes Frank who, like a good M16 agent is ready 24/7 for action but misses her ambiguous husband reference and dutifully lets her ride his pony.  Sharing is caring. Giddyup Claire.

The Redcoats finally return Ian Murray back to Lallybroch like a sack of spuds and he ignores their repeated requests to turn over Jamie and tedious threats of getting his whole family by saying “It’s been a lovely visit gentlemen” and heads inside to meet his new son. 

Fergus watching on, decides to take matters into his own hands (no pun intended but it works for me, if it works for you) leads them on a wild goose chase tour of Lallybroch estate.  He confronts them and taunts them that he’s far superior to them and the music turns ominious and most know bad things are coming next.  They chase him and he taunts them continuously.  Jamie is checking his traps and hears them but can’t reveal his position to help. He quietly pleads for Fergus to stop taunting and watches the next bit unfold in horror with the rest of us.  *hides behind cushions/hands/whisky glass  The red coats corner Fergus and Mr Meany Pants McGregor, hell bent on blood lust, lops off Fergus’s tiny left hand.  Its excruciatingly real to watch and we are all glad not to have lived through those times.

The red coats leave Fergus alone to bleed out and Jamie swoops down to stem the blood flow with a torniquay belt, just like Claire showed him many times.  Just for fun.  Or maybe not.  I digress. 

He whisks poor Fergus back to Lallybroch where Jenny praises him for saving him.  He feels guilty though and loses his shit, ugly crying all over Jenny like there’s no tomorrow. 

Later, when he gains back some grumpiness, he visits Fergus to remind him that there is something left to fight for.  Fergus sees his old Milord back and hope has returned to Lallybroch again.  Fergus is relieved by the promise Jamie made him in Paris that if he ever lost a hand in his service, then Jamie would provide for him for the rest of his life.  He has in one swipe become a man of leisure.

Meanwhile....

Frank and Claire are busy entertaining Jerry and Millie from next door.  They introduce them to the delights of Eton Mess and how to kill a bottle.  This show is so brutal. Poor bottle.  RIP Wine.  After, Claire is in the mood for much more than a nightcap and entices Frank to the carpet before the fire.  Frank isn’t one for being swept up in the moment and questions Claire mid-thrust as to why she isn’t looking at him.  He cruelly stops before Claire can get to orgasm and he tells her “When i’m with you, i’m with you but you are with him”.  Like that’s such a bad thing Frank!  Not the best end to a fun night. Silly relationship etiquette.

Ian explains the downside of losing a limb to Jamie.  He tells Jamie the pain of losing a part of you that’s lost. Claire was his heart.  Jamie realises that he’ll never get over Claire like Ian and Fergus will never get their limbs back. Jamie also notices the slashed Fraser crest which was a result of a recent red coat raid.  He knows they will never stop wanting him as he’ll never stop wanting Claire.

At first Jenny is not happy with Jamie’s idea to turn himself in but they are all tired of the red coat dangers and his lack of grooming.  With the thought of having the reward to help them survive, de-stink the house and Jamie in a nicer prison not hung, they agree to go ahead with the set up.  Sounds easy, right?

Mrs McNab has an itch to scratch before Jamie gets sent to Ardsmuir resort and turns up to give Jamie his last supper in the cave.  And by supper she means a good hair cut and shave - Hallelujah, Angels sing!!!  He pops down the stream to wash and comes back to find her in her shift and he’s no dummy when it comes to women in shifts and presumes that Jenny set this up.  Mary rejects his theory and says she wants a hot scot in her cot and it’ll maybe see him through a few years in prison.  Everyone knows you don’t get sex in prison, right?  Jamie confesses it’s been a while between drinks and she’s gentle about it, mopping up his tear for his long gone wife.  Must be emotional having women throwing themselves at you all the time.  Plus everyone looks shaggable by cavelight. 

Claire decides it’s time to do something more to make her feel whole.  She missed lancing festering boils and so decided to become a surgeon.  She arrives for her first day in Anatomy class and of course scores a chauvinistic, racist lecturer who declares having her and a negro make them very modern.  Other students arrive and give her the cold shoulder like she just gave Season 8 spoilers to Game of Thrones.  In walks the ‘negro’ and he takes a seat beside Claire.  He introduces himself as Joe Abernethy and they instantly connect.  I love him already too.

Bree has decided to help her parents marriage by sending cryptic messages through her toy bunny but likes to mix things up, by hiding said bunny first.  Agent Frank is all over this new kid-code but Claire just chalks it up to childhood and goes to bed.  The camera pans back and to my horror we see they are now sleeping in single beds.  Flatmates.  Ugh.  Ring the marriage-is-dead alarm. Oh boy.  Goodnight indeed.

Jamie arrives at Lallybroch and pretends he has arrived home.  The red coats leap out of hiding and he pretends to be furious and shocked with Jenny.  Jenny’s heart breaks visibly, as do ours as she plays along, receiving her reward money.  Jamie is chucked in the prison cart like sack of dirty laundry.  Which he is because, Cave dwelling is not for the fainthearted and Lynx commercials.

Claire is out walking and comes across a busking piper piping a familiar Scottish tune and she can’t walk past without giving him some money.  I could have sworn she mumbled something about “giving him more if he was wearing a kilt” but I could be wrong.

The end.