#or the conman whose dreams were fake all along for far more sinister reasons

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Thinking about your dreams/fire post which led me to “you paint dreamscapes on the wall” and then as always I come back to Coney Island of “do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and then left you there” because he was drawing these dreams and making her think they were possible and then didn’t follow through

yessssssssssss!!!!!!

tbh I think I had the dreamscapes line in a previous draft of it too haha.

And it's not to get into the ~discourse~ of it, but that's just the crux of it: someone convincing you that you could build this life together, where you take steps to make that happen and put all your trust in them, only for them to reneg? It's such a blow. It's why the double-whammy is so painful because that's what BOTH of the main muses did (and why I think it's so easy to see both of them in so many of the songs but I don't want to annoy people about that on main because at this point we all have our own thoughts about things and I'm not here to convince anyone and in any case it doesn't even matter because it's all just art after all ANYWAY) in very different but equally painful ways, with a secret third party being the one to do it first as people so eloquently put it when the album came out.

I don't know if this makes sense, but it's like the difference between "stars meticulously glued next to the ceiling fan" vs "impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes": to me, one is like, a concrete life that was once built albeit doomed from the start and then destroyed (intentionally or not) vs. one selling a lie from the get-go. One is painful because is was once so close they could taste it and it crumbled under the weight of their problems, vs the other one that preyed on those dreams and never intended to follow through. (But then again I can also see other interpretations of that line but I digress lol.)

This is a tangent, but it's why the "bravery" theme is so interesting to me on TTPD. Because yes, on the surface it's about the conman who she sets up in the epilogue as carrying a sword he couldn't lift (...), but underneath it all is the one-time prince who promised these things she believed, and we see it across multiple albums. Part of TTPD to me is her saying, "I wasn't crazy to believe this, right? Because it happened. You promised these things. But you didn't follow through. So why am I the one in the wrong for setting these expectations?" And yes, she says that outright about the conman, but it's also the larger story of the hothouse flower, too.

(I actually saw a clip the other day of an old interview -- I think from Red era -- where Taylor says she's trusting to a fault, and I think that plays a role in all this along with ~all the things~ at play.)

It's not to get into the muse discourse, but one of the most heartbreaking things really is this idea of the person you pinned your hopes on, who you love and believe loves you back, promising you the things you long for most in this world and at the time saying they'll be by your side through it all, only for them to cut and run (whether physically or emotionally) when the going gets tough. It's devastating, because what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust the most, who's world you shaped yours around, ends up pulling away? And what's worse, leaves you feeling like it's somehow your fault? You're left with all these dreams unfulfilled, but no clear exit route on how to make it out or sense of self in some ways.

I could speak about this forever and add another tangent about the epilogue but I fear this is already long enough haha.