#or star wars AUs where vader gets a real redemption arc

[cosmicoceanfic]

uh. hi, everybody???

[iamthedukeofurl]

Question for people who know the star wars fandom.

Where the FUCK did Kylo Ren's fanbase come from.

Because, okay, personally, I thought Kylo was one of the best parts of TFA, in the sense that he was an eminently hatable villain with no redeeming qualities and it felt REALLY good to see him get his ass kicked.

Like, it's hard to get that mix of Evil and Dangerous, while also being Pathetic. They knew they were never going to match the BDE (Big Darth Energy) of Vader, so they made a villain who was Desperately trying to be Vader and failing.

One of his first scenes had one of our heroes not taking him seriously and mocking him, and, basically walking away from that scene with the Win.

But Kylo Ren wasnt just a pathetic joke, he was also quite evil. Not just evil, but TRYING to be evil. He was offered his redemption arc on a silver platter and throws it away being like "Yeah now that I've killed my dad, I'm a Real Bad Guy".

The point is, he sucks in every sense of the word. So, where did this devoted fanbase come from? Like, I get villain fanbases. Darth Maul was cool. Loki was charming. Killmonger was sympathetic. Get yourself an AU fic where they. get to hang around the hero meetings and offer to murder people.

Kylo Ren was none of these things. (I'm measuring from TFA here, although to be honest TLJ didnt do much for him. Like, Luke Was Scary At Him, would have made sense if he'd run away, could see a reasonable descent into darkness from there, but IIRC his story was basically "Luke was scary so I decided to murder some children and idolize my genocidal murderer grandfather" without much in between )

So where did this devoted group of fans come from supremely invested in his happiness and redemption? Who looked at this Edgelord whose #1 Goal is to kick as many puppies as possible, whose only actions are either losing or being evil, and said "Yes, I like him".

[vanimy]

What a clusterfuck

Coming out of my self imposed exile because I had to get this off my chest. Beware. Rant ahead. Spoilers abound. You’ve been warned. 

Forget how I met your mother. Game of thrones takes the cake for Worst. Ending. Ever. 

I’m cackling at how everything was basically spoiled for weeks. I was hoping against hope the spoilers were deceiving, that maybe they shot several endings or there would be a last minute twist in the finale. At this point I would’ve rejoiced at Jon and Dany becoming Night King and Queen. 

But nope... the leaks were all true.

And I can’t even. 

I’m not even going to talk about the previous episode which was full of stupid clichés and featured a complete 180 for Daenerys, or the gigantic plot holes (like Drogon not even attacking anyone after his mother got killed) or the fact that Bran of all people is on the throne at the end. 

I’m going to focus on Jon and Dany because THIS is the hardest pill to swallow and one of the worst pieces of writing I’ve ever seen. 

I’ll start by saying that unlike other people I wasn’t opposed to angsty endings or tragic endings per se. I mean, Hamlet is my favorite Shakespeare play, I love Greek tragedies and I could go on and on. 

Heck, my OTP is Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and Padmé Amidala and the guy choked his wife in their last scene together so... 

I’ll also mention I’m not opposed to powerful women being corrupted by power either. Heck I wrote an entire AU Star Wars fic with the woman in my OTP becoming a dark Empress. 

But you know what’s the difference here? 

Everything I just wrote about before, yep even my stupid little AU fic made for free in one corner of the Internet, MADE FUCKING SENSE. 

Everything was written to get to those points. Darth Vader’s downfall had been a long time coming, it was the whole damn point of the prequels in the first place and the older trilogy was about to give him a redemption arc. So when Anakin snapped and harmed the love of his life, the woman he had been doing everything for in the first place, it didn’t feel wrong. It hurt but it was logical, it MADE SENSE. Watching the guy I was rooting for become evil felt horrible but I actually empathized with both sides, the good guy who wanted to bring him down because he’d gone off the rails and the good guy turned bad guy.

And you know why I still empathized with the good guy turned bad guy? Because he still felt REAL. He cried after killing people, he showed remorse, he screamed in agony when he’d thought he’d killed his wife. He had a redemption arc later on. 

Here, NOTHING made sense. Daenerys’ fall wasn’t a long time coming contrary to what the writers want us to believe retroactively, especially in a world where EVERYONE has killed and executed left and right. There was NO sign of madness before the last two episodes. NONE.

Am I suddenly supposed to believe that Daenerys, who lived through tons of horrible things, who remained compassionate, who sacrificed her dragons and her people for a cause she believed in, who cried when Jon Snow deemed her his Queen, hoping she deserved it, whose good heart was what made Jon Snow fall for her, who was praised by Davos just in the premiere of this very season was a villain all along?? 

There was no reason for her to burn King’s Landing. No inner conflict was shown. Nothing. By then you could see Dany had ceased to be a full fledged character, she was written entirely from an outsider’s POV. She becomes mad because Jon rejects her (why BTW, we never get inside his head but that’s for later). And then after she snaps, there’s absolutely no remorse from Dany. We never get to witness remorse or sadness or conflict. Which goes to show how much this is badly written. Because you could get the exact same result but it would’ve been slightly better if only they showed Dany as a regular human being instead of an EVIL!QUEEN. 

And how about Jon? Am I supposed to believe that Jon Snow, HONORABLE Jon Snow, who never could harm the chick he barely knew when he was with the Wildlings, could suddenly kill the woman he loved all in the space of literally two minutes ? His family? While she’s open to him and trusts him? While he kisses her? 

KILLING HER THE EXACT SAME WAY HE WAS KILLED HIMSELF? BETRAYING HER IN THE EXACT SAME WAY HE WAS BETRAYED? 

Again, they could’ve written a scene with Jon killing her after IDK, telling her he couldn’t stay with her after what she’d done, Dany going crazy, him defending himself or having to kill her because she was literally killing Arya or Bran or whomever? It could’ve been written in a way that stayed true to the characters. Not that I would’ve loved it but it would’ve made a little more sense. 

See where I’m getting at? 

Shit writing. 

This show is so full of misogyny I can’t even. My sister is all like “but see Sansa’s Queen in the North so they can’t be misogynistic” and I want to rip my hair out. I’m so MAD. This show has been called out on its misogyny countless times from the  very beginning (one of the reasons I wasn’t watching in the first place) for glorifying rape. Here we have two main female characters being BOTH mad queens. The end features a male king and a council full of white men. Dany becomes EVIL with no self awareness, no redemption, nothing. Because her character doesn’t matter in the end. When I wrote my AU fic with my female character going dark, it wasn’t just about the man (it triggered in part his own redemption but that wasn’t the whole point), my character didn’t stop being a character because she was going dark, she had feelings still, agency, self awareness and then a redemption arc. Where is it for Dany? Heck, I disliked the way the X men movies depicted Jean Grey and Wolverine’s relationship and how they destroyed Jean in the X3 movie but AT LEAST she had a little agency when she died, she was given 2 seconds to beg for her death, 2 seconds for us to know she knew how far she’d fallen. Dany didn’t get to have that. She got nothing. After 8 fucking seasons. She got nothing. Only Jon and Tyrion are considered tragic heroes who had to do what needed to be done. She ceased to be a human being. She died in the first 30 minutes of the finale and didn’t even get a funeral. How can you not see this as misogynistic? How?

I’m going to talk about Jon Snow now. Because sure Dany got dirty but Jon sure did too despite what some fans might think. He was given literally NOTHING to do all season long, the whole twist of the whole saga with him being a secret Targaryen didn’t amount to anything, he wasn’t even given ONE scene to reflect on what it meant to him to be a Targaryen or the fact Ned wasn’t his father, HIS story conclusion, the Night King saga, was given to Arya, he came off as weak all season with two recycled lines of dialogue, he had no moment of bad assery in battle, he was made a fool  in the end since everyone and their dog were telling him Dany was eviiil and he didn’t believe them and he was wrong. He killed Dany in a cowardly way, betraying her and his oath, doing a 180 in the space of two minutes. He ends up being exiled going back to where he started. He was done dirty too. They betrayed everything about Jon. His loyalty, his need to do the right thing, the love he supposedly had for Dany. Everything. 

What I thought was constructed writing wasn’t there either. And that’s also a bitter pill to swallow. What was the point of foreshadowing a wedding between Jon and Dany the whole of season 7 and the premiere of this season? What was the point of foreshadowing a child? What was the point of bringing fire and ice together? Of the prince who was promised prophecy? What was the point of Jon (Jon who used to be the moral compass the same way Ned was) defending Dany constantly throughout the season? 

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF NED STARK DOING LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE DID? Like hiding Jon and defending Dany against Robert Baratheon ?

Was the moral of the story “Robert Baratheon was fucking right all along”? 

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF JON BEING A TARGARYEN? 

Remove that and you could’ve basically had the same fucking story. Jon could’ve rejected Dany because she was becoming cray-cray or because he couldn’t marry her or whatever. If he’d stayed a Snow it wouldn’t have changed anything. 

The only good thing I can see after this shitfest is how much I don’t regret never bothering watching the earlier seasons and removing myself a little from GOT before season 8 came out. Oh and the enraged reactions all over the world. That too. 

I’m still mad though. I can’t even picture what some of you might be going through after 8 seasons.  I’m sorry for you guys who spent years watching this shitshow. *hugs* 

[theworthofhollin]

SHITTY MOVIE REC OF THE WEEK: 

Nick Powell's OUTCAST (2014) starring Hayden Christensen, Yifei Liu, and Nicholas Cage. 

(i know. i know. bear with me here.)

Dudes. First things first: this is Hayden Christensen's perfect come-back film. like sure this is not a Great Film but I honestly forgot how good Christensen was as a physical actor??? and DAMN. with the physicality of this role...he is so good. (and what’s so great about this is watching it immediately following the clone wars tv show is PERFECT because its the same form of Anakin we see there: a killer, but war-torn, hungry, dynamic.) 

No, really. This is, I shit you not, the ultimate Anakin Skywalker AU Redemption Arc. But with more mohawks and stunning fight choreography and crazy good scenery and also did i mention mohawks. hayden christensen has a mohawk. anyways. if that alone doesnt make any sw fan want to watch this movie [on US Netflix too!!!] then 1. have fun living ur boring ass life??? 2. look at this photo, is that not rots skywalker to a t and 3. keep reading.

SO. Set in what we can assume is the late 1200s, early 1300s?? Hayden Christensen plays a Jedi Knight, sorry, TEMPLAR KNIGHT, named Anakin-- I MEAN JAKOB, who is fighting alongside his Master, Obi Wan Kenobi-- no, sorry, his MENTOR, NIC CAGE, in the Clone Wars, sorry, i mean THE CRUSADES. classic mix up.

SIDENOTE: If the guy who wrote this movie doesnt also have a secret ao3 account dedicated to his star wars prequel au fanfic collection that he’s been cultivating since high school then ill eat my fucking shoe. 

(also idk what Cage’s character’s actual name is considering I, like everyone else in the world, can only refer to him as Nic Cage in any role ever. But back to the point.) 

[spoilers ahead]

Alright. so. 

Somewhere In The Middle East, Nic-Wan Kenobi witnesses his protégé's bloodlust in a battle that results in the deaths of a temple full of innocent women and children, (THE YOUNGLINGS... ANAKIN....) and naturally he goes awol, while Jakob/Anakin spirals down a guilt-driven descent into opium, believing himself to be Damned, Capital D, for his actions. 

SIDE NOTE: Hayden looks especially good in this movie, but particularly when he’s PISSED OFF and EXTRA SAD. i dont want to use to the term smad but damn. smad is...a good look here. 

i digress. 

(serious spoilers below:)

Here's where we enter fix-it fic mode: 3 years after the Crusades have ended, (and in true Kenobi style, Nic Cage has disappeared into the vast eastern wilderness with only his patchy grief-beard and an extra robe he’ll probably lose) a Chinese King is dying, and wishes to make his heir his gentle-hearted 13-year-old son. His elder son, a brutal war-monger, says FUCK U DAD, kills him and takes the throne, but not before their sister LIAN, played by the lovely YIFEI LIU, escapes with both her younger brother and the seal to the kingdom under the cover of night.

(this is basically TPM with shittier gender roles, but otherwise a pretty obvious parallel to the sw Naboo Invasion) And its EXTRA interesting to me because in the sw universe, Naboo court regalia is canonically based off of ancient chinese imperial robes, with aspects of certain japanese and mongolian formalwear as well. AND most of the jedi philosophies are bastardized variations of asian iconography and medieval knights errant, so its fun to see that played out on screen and it lets me draw parallels wherever i want which is always a major plus.

(SIDENOTE: during the escape, her little bro is all decked out in black clothes with dark accersories for night camouflage etc etc while Lian shows up looking hella fine in hand embroidered white silk like. bitch??? u thought i’d downplay my aesthetic for my own HEALTH and SAFETY?anyways what a gift and if im being honest that moment alone made me go, shit, fuck, padme. love of my life.)

(she’s been running hard road for 2 days and just LOOK at her, jesus.) 

but back to the plot. 

While on the run from the SITH, I mean, the evil brother’s Black Guard, they happen to stumble into a cantina in the lower mountains, where they meet a drugged up, super smad Jakob pulling an Solo in the back of the bar. 

( HELP ME... JAKOB.... WHOEVER THE FUCK U ARE--)

The Black Guard then tries to take his LIGHTSABER, I mean, his special, holy, papal blessed broadsword, which ends up being a really bad move. (It's interesting how they play the scene as well: from under the brim of his hat, they make sure his eyes glow bright angry yellow in the reflection of the candles around the table. like. they switch angles and everything just so you’ll notice. It's all very Vader-esque. 

[MUFFLED ‘VADER’S THEME’ PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE]

Also immediately after this he pulls a Complete Anakin and flips a fucking table so people will pay attention to him, i love this boy, oh my god, he then proceeds to murder everybody in the bar, which is just. wildly satisfying.)

SIDENOTE: its important to acknowledge the fact that first time director Nick Powell is also a well known fight choreographer and has been a hardcore stuntman for most of his career, so the real highlights in this movie are the GLORIOUS action scenes. Honestly, the sword fights in this movie are some of the best ive ever seen onscreen. and Hayden is absolutely magnetic. 10/10 would recommend just for that alone.

ANOTHER SIDENOTE: Lian also knifes a dude in the neck here w/ her jeweled hairpin. So thats #neat

coincidentally, this also happens to be the moment where both Jakob and I fell in love. also #neat

(AND. this star wars concept art from ROTS and these shots of lian and jakob. discuss:)

(im the guy silently sweating in the back)

ANYWAY.

After witnessing Vader, I mean, Jakob, utterly destroy a full contingent of bad guys, Padme, I mean, LIAN, asks him to help get them to Xing Yuan, a city several days ride away that holds their father's army generals, who will support them and help them take back the throne. Jakob agrees, and then there's lots of exciting action sequences and Anakin and Padme falling in love (SIDENOTE: TRUE TO FORM, ANAKIN IS TERRIBLE @ FLIRTING IN LITERALLY ANY UNIVERSE. GOD BLESS.) 

BUT beyond that human disaster, this movie is so underrated. paralleling the sw plotline, the boy king gets his own little padawan training lessons, we get some crazy acrobatic swordfights here and there, they run into obi wan where he’s been hiding in the woods for a decade (#consistency) and its all very dramatic and on ridiculously shaky historical ground but who cares guys thats not why ur watching it in the first place. 

We all know why ur watching it in the first place.

the plot. you’re watching it for the plot.