#or sooner if I gain my interest back but idk either

[redraincoatrabbit]

Not important, but I think I'll be inactive for ava/m until the next episode of ava or longer.

[twobigears]

2023 New Year Goals and Reviews and Stuff

I usually do goal and review posts every year just like everyone else, but if I did this for 2022 I sure can’t find it. Maybe I was too lazy, which would surprise no one.

2022

This felt like a fairly chill year overall, which is probably a good thing.

We did some hiking and camping. As always, we could have done more.

Chandra made good progress in her iliospoas rehab that started at the end of 2021 (def a reason we didn’t hike as much, especially in the first half of the year). She is cautiously returning to agility and we’ll see how that goes.

Chandra did some more obedience training and also made good progress there. We didn’t trial other than some at-home WRCL runs.

Blizzard really picked up her agility trialing! She had her first full year of trialing after a slow start largely due to covid.

Between virtual runs and real trials, Blizzard made her way up to Masters in USDAA and Level 5 in CPE. She earned her MPD (Masters level title in USDAA) and is about halfway to her PDCH (championship title)

I finished 3/4 of my schooling for my GIS certificate and transition away from dog training to a new career. There is still a lot of anxiety going on with that, but the mental relief of getting away from agility-as-a-job has been soooo worth it.

I put more effort into self-improvement mentally and physically! After years of yo-yoing and steadily creeping weight gain, I revamped habits, made better choices, and lost about 25lbs. I admit this came after hitting a mental low point (and high weight point) early in the year when I was sitting in a hotel room eating grocery store chocolate cake with my fingers because I ‘needed’ it. The cake wasn’t even that good.

I also reined in my internet and social media habits, especially Facebook as recently mentioned. But also things like not scrolling my phone in bed at night, and not checking it first thing in the morning either. I think a lot of people these days have some sort of social media addiction, or at least way too much there, and Facebook was mine. For a long time I knew how bad it was making me feel for a hundred different reasons, but it was still a struggle to quit or cut back. I finally managed it in the last couple months of 2022 and I really do feel soooo much better just ignoring my friends feed and going on primarily to check some hobby groups. It is so much easier to spend less than 5-10 minutes a day there versus the hours I used to spend. Unfortunately I’ve kind of replaced the FB addiction with a Reddit addiction, which is something to work on in 2023....

I got myself spayed and off of hormonal birth control! It’s only been about five weeks but I can already feel the mental benefits and I’m so glad I did it. Only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I look forward to seeing how my brain and body continue to change and hopefully for the better. HBC is great for so many reasons (esp the No Babies part, so I have no regrets for that), but it’s also got shitty baggage.

Seems like a lot of 2022 was about me, which was probably more than a little overdue. As they say, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. ~self care~ and all that!

What’s up for 2023?

Continue monitoring Chandra’s rehab and see how it goes and how she does with some agility again. I have a pipe dream goal of finishing her PDCH (she needs 8 Qs, even less than Blizzard) but I don’t want to be selfish about it. So we’ll see.

Obedience...idk. We’ll keep doing some training but at this point I’m not sure about trialing. The obedience community really does it make hard to love. Maybe later on I’ll feel interested again. I don’t want to regret not doing it, like I regret not finishing Ryker’s CD before he died.

Blizzard, I would love to finish her PDCH! It might be tough to do given the lack of USDAA trials here but I think it is still a possibility.

At this point I’ve put thoughts of Next Dog on hold for a while again. I’m currently enjoying the two dog life, backing away from dog sports again, and doing more non-dog things (even though a lot of it still involves them anyway, like hiking and camping). Plus with us likely moving, me hopefully getting a new job, I think it’s good to just not add another dog to the mix until all that has settled. I won’t say Next Dog is totally out of the question for 2023, but right now it’s unlikely and not something I’m planning to actively pursue.

At some point this year we’re planning to move to Minnesota. No specific timeline yet, but probably summer-ish. It will be incredibly sad to leave Colorado...

I’ll finish school this spring, hopefully find a real adult job in that field (yay..) and not have this schooling be for nothing.

Continue reinforcing and improving my habits for mental and physical health. I’ve been considering getting into bouldering for something different in the physical activity realm, so I’ll probably check that out. Plus the usual hiking and camping. Gotta get out and see some places before we leave! Then have new places to check out when we move.

Hmmm yeah I think that’s it so far. 😂

[leviiattacks]

hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ???? 

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public 

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

[lildevyl]

My Thoughts On Dream SMP

Hey, Guys, Gals, Demons, Ghouls and Multi-Fandom Fiends! I know it's been a while since I posted anything but I wanted to get my thoughts out on here. So, recently I've been going down the Dream SMP Rabbit Hole, and Oh My Ghoul! I so love it! I'm sorry I didn't get into sooner!

Now, for anyone asking, when the Dream SMP came around last year, I really wasn't into. It was one of those Fandoms that your friends talk a lot about and you have no problem listening b/c it's something that their really into. I've seen a lot Fan Art come across dash, some Animations/Animatics come in my Recommendations on YouTube, and I even seen some Fan Fictions and Theories about the Dream SMP. It's one of those fandoms that you like/reblog some of the Fan Art. Comment on the Fan Fiction saying, "This story is really intriguing. I don't know a lot about these character but I can't wait to see what happens next!" Or when I saw a theory, I kinda went, "Interesting theory. Wonder what will happen if that came true."

Well, my Fiends I'm sorry it took me so long to get into this Fandom! But I want to give my opinion on what I think so far! Now I still have a ton of things to catch up with! So, big shout out and a huge Thank You to @relaxxattack for making an Organized Play Card! I will be using that when I get the time to binge watch!

So, what have I discovered so far! Well, I'm going to be up front with all of ya! I've been doing a lot of Lore Exploring on the different Characters with Animations/Animatics (yes I know it's the Artist Interpretation of the story), Character Lore (different YouTubers take on the characters and their story), and a lot of videos and clips! I am watching cc!TommyInnit and cc!Wilbur Soots videos to get the L'amburger Storyline! So, please no spoilers!

(c!Technoblade)

What have discovered so far is c!Technoblade is one hell of a badass character and probably one of the most powerful characters I have ever seen! I've watched different videos and clips of him and I have even seen different Animations of him. And I still stand by this! c!Technoblade is one of the most powerful characters on the server! There is a video that had the different scenes of SAD-ist Animation of Hog Hunt and the actual Minecraft Scenes. And those lines!

"You thought it will be that easy to kill me Quackity! I got a pickax and I will put straight through your teeth!"

I know there a lot of Head Canons and Theories out there on what exactly c!Technoblade is. Some say that he's a Demi-God (The Blood God), some say he's a humanoid of half pig and half human, others have say that he's actually human but the pig/hog head is a mask that he wears that gives him powers or is what he wears when goes to war. Either way I am so into this character!

c!Technoblade gets a 10/10 for the being the badass character!

(c!FoolishG)

I don't know much about this character but I'm starting to grow on him! Call me hypocritical but anything that has Mythology/Fantasy/Supernatural count me in! Now, I know c!Foolish in the Eggpire (I have to laugh at the pun!) storyline and I'll be honest. IDK, much about this storyline but I'm looking forward to see more of how this character evolves.

I will say this and this my only critic on it. I just think that cc!Foolsih needs a bit of work on the voice acting. Only to try to get his emotions through his character from his voice. Like I said, it's a small little critic! But I do want to learn more about this Character! Like how did used to a Totem of Death? How did he become at Totem of Revival? What other powers besides summoning lightning can he do? Can he control the water and sea animals being the God of the Sea? And how was he able to be "killed" at the Red Banquette (my theory was completely wrong on what that actually was) and why does the "Demon" from the Egg want c!Foolish to join him so badly and how do they know each other?

(c!Wilbur Soot)

Okay, so I came into this Fandom when c!Wilbur Soot became c!Ghostbur and when c!Dream Revived both c!Tommy and c!Wilbur Soot. So, please don't be to harsh on me! But from what I've seen with the Clips, Videos, and Theories. There's so much potential with this character! I know c!Wilbur Soot and c!Tommyinnit were exile and c!Wilbur was wondering if they were the "Bad Guys?" And if not then let them be the "Villains" of this story. To the point where c!Wilbur had no problem in blowing up Clamburger!

But now that c!Wilbur is back and is starting to gain the memories of c!Ghostbur. Makes you wonder what c!Wilbur is actually planning! And what will he do now that he's been revived? Will he break c!Dream out of prison b/c he owes c!Dream a favor for bringing him back now?

(c!Tommyinnit)

Like I said, I joined this fandom when c!Dream killed c!Tommy and revived c!Tommy. I also saw that video of c!Tommy planned to kill c!Dream but do his brashness and hatred towards c!Dream, c!Tommy got caught. c!Tommy begged, pleaded and practically shouted at c!Sam to let him go back over to get Ghostbur or to let him finish the deed and kill c!Dream! But c!Sam wasn't having it and c!Tommy literally had to witness his friend get "Killed" when c!Dream revives c!Wilbur.

Now, the thing of it is, and from what I've seen with cc!Tommyinnits videos and other clips is. There is so much potential with c!Tommyinnint's character! I just love to explore the what if's and the possibilities of what could have happened if c!Tommy made some different decisions. Also, from what I've seen with the videos of c!Tommyinnit's Character Arc/Lore is and I have to ask this. Did c!Dream planned on making c!Tommy the "Hero" or the "Villain" of the Server?

The only reason why I ask this is b/c several things add up to c!Tommy either becoming the next c!Dream (Villain) of the Server or could this whole thing have been one elaborate plan by c!Dream in order to make c!Tommy stronger and by signaling c!Tommy out. Try to make him the "Hero" of the server since c!Dream basically made himself the "Villain" of the server?

There's on old saying, "Hero is only as good as their Villain." But the same thing can be said about the "Villain." "A Villain is only as good as their Hero." So, this makes me wonder, did c!Dream actually planned all this out for c!Tommy to be the Hero of the Sever while c!Dream took the role as the Villain. Or did c!Dream planned on making c!Tommy the next c!Dream by having c!Tommy be the "Main Villain" of the Server?

IDK, and until I can start making my own theories I'm going to try and start binge watching some of Dream SMP when I can! HAPPY CREATING my Fiends!

[scottybrock]

Neighbors (6) - Colby Brock

A/N: Requested by a lovely anon: “Hello, I was wondering if you could write an imagine where reader is a youtuber with her friend and they move into the same apartment building as Sam and Colby, and the reader and Colby meet and it’s all cute and fluffy. Maybe she’s lost in the building and that’s how they meet?? Or something? Idk!!” 

Tag list: @azurebrock @azurebrock @absolutelynobodyposts @lovelycolby @katiaw2 @sweet-dolans

It was time. 

It was time to confront Lindsay, to figure out why she did what she did. Why she stabbed you in the back. You were the person who supported her through everything- every scandal, every break up. Everything. She treated you like she was friends with you out of convenience, and maybe she was. Maybe she’d been using you this entire time, to get some sort of “fame” and then ditch you, when someone bigger and better came along. 

You changed the channel password, and took her accounts off of the account. It was your channel to begin with, so it wasn’t like you were stealing anything from you. Honestly, you had begun YouTube without her. She hopped on your coattails and rode your ass for fame, once you started gaining traction. The fans had tweeted at you, concerned. You simply replied that you and Lindsay were no longer a YouTube duo; it was just you now. Surprisingly, you didn’t lose too many subscribers- only about one hundred. People didn’t really like Lindsay, anyways. 

You asked your new friends to come with you. Maybe it was cowardly of you, but you couldn’t do it alone. Katrina, Devyn, and Tara readily agreed. Sam and Jake wanted to come along, but you didn’t want them to, much to their annoyance. Sam definitely wanted to have some words with Lindsay, for causing the two of his friends immense pain. You promised to pass the message along, that she was no longer welcome to his apartment- or anywhere near any of them, anymore.

You knocked on Lindsay’s apartment door. Katrina linked her arm with yours, and Devyn placed a supportive hand on your shoulder. Tara gripped your free hand with hers, interlacing her fingers with yours. Her big brown eyes never left your face, searching your expression. The instant Lindsay said something bitchy- which would probably happen sooner rather than later, she swore she’d punch that dumb bitch in the mouth.

The door swung open. Lindsay’s eyes immediately narrowed at the sight of your girls draped around you like safety blankets. Katrina glared right back at her. She wasn’t afraid of some dumb bitch. She was ready to throw hands. Devyn simply raised an eyebrow at her, silently challenging your former best friend to say something stupid, so she had a true reason to punch her in the mouth, like she so badly wanted to. Tara did nothing to hide the disdain on her face; her brows furrowed, and her lips twisted into a scowl.

You and Lindsay stared at each other in silence. Her expression never softened, and her mouth twisted into a frown. “What the fuck do you want?” She snapped. Her eyes had dark bags underneath them. “You already took the channel from me,” She began, but you stepped forward, your nostrils flaring.

“First of all,” You cut her off, taking another step forward. You were practically nose-to-nose with her, staring her down. “It was my channel to begin with. I didn’t take shit from you.” Your voice was a deadly hiss. You weren’t one for confrontation usually, but you were feeling oddly confident. Maybe it was the group of strong, powerful women behind you, but the confidence you felt was overwhelming. Normally, you would’ve cowered away from Lindsay. Not today.

“Second of all, I don’t owe you shit,” Your voice grew in volume. “You’re a cheater, a liar, and a horrible friend,” Lindsay flinched. Tara squeezed your hand. “But that’s not why I’m here,” You stepped back, allowing the hurt to creep onto your face. “Why’d you do it?” You asked, your voice softening. 

Lindsay’s expression hardened once more, her mouth twisting into an ugly scowl. “Because you get everything you want,” Her voice was a growl, her cheeks flushing a ruddy shade of red. “You get all of the love from the fans, all of the nice guys, and you get all of the nice people to be your friends.” 

Her eyes narrowed as a cruel smile spread across her face. “If I’m being totally honest,” She hissed. “You’re below average looking, your personality is duller than anything I’ve ever seen, and you think you’re better than everyone else.” You shrank back against the accusations, your eyes welling up with tears. She’d been your best friend for years- since middle school. It hurt to think that she thought all of those things about you, this entire time. 

However, Devyn stepped forward. Her pretty green eyes were narrowed into tiny slits, the smile long gone from her face. “I think you’re talking about the wrong person,” Devyn’s voice was low, threatening. Honestly, it was kind of hot. Anyways, Devyn took another step forward. Even though she was tiny, she was mighty. “You must’ve been looking in the mirror when you said all of that shit. Either that, or you’ve literally lost your mind,” Devyn’s voice grew in volume. Katrina and Tara stepped forward as well, as if they were shielding you from Lindsay’s poison-filled gaze. 

“You’re the one who thinks you’re better than everyone else,” Tara voiced her opinion, staring straight at Lindsay. “You think that you’re so cool, so alluring,” Tara’s voice was a coo as she batted her eyelashes at Lindsay, a wide, false smile on her face. The smile dropped away, and her lips twisted into a scowl. “You’re wrong.” Tara stepped forward, Katrina trailing behind you. She reached out to grip your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers once more, giving it a soft squeeze. She was letting you know that she had your back. 

“You’re the one who’s less than average looking,” Katrina spoke up, her eyes narrowing. “Have you ever thought about why you don’t have friends? Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, it was you, and not them?” She asked. Lindsay’s jaw was practically on the ground. She was used to bossing you around and getting away with it; being confronted and chastised by stronger, more successful people than her was throwing her off. 

“If you know what’s good for you,” Tara hissed. “You’ll stay away from her,” She jerked a thumb in your her direction. “And us. All of us.” Devyn nodded in agreement, tilting her head at Lindsay. “If you don’t,” Devyn’s voice was still low, threatening. “We’ll destroy you. And what’s left of your career.” 

Katrina nodded her agreement as well. She stepped back to re-link her arm with yours, pressing against your side. Tara gave your hand another squeeze. Devyn placed her hand on your shoulder once more, her green eyes scanning your expression. It hurt- you and Lindsay had been friends for so long, but you knew now, that your friendship was a toxic one- on her behalf. 

You slowly met Lindsay’s enraged gaze once more, your shoulders slumping. You let go of Tara’s hand and gently shrugged Devyn and Kat’s hands off of you. You had one last thing to say to Lindsay, and you needed to do it on your own. “It really didn’t have to be this way,” Your voice was soft. 

The fire in your eyes was gone, leaving behind only ashes and charred hopes. “I hope you find some inner peace some day.” Your voice wasn’t sarcastic. It was earnest. Even though Lindsay had screwed you over, you only wanted what was best for her. Lindsay didn’t reply. Maybe that was your biggest flaw- hoping that people would change for the better, even though they clearly never would. 

You gave her a small smile. You were tired. Tired of fighting and being angry. You took a deep breath, then turned around and walked out of her apartment. Katrina, Devyn, and Tara followed you. You allowed Katrina to re-link her arm with yours. Tara took your hand again, and Devyn linked her arm in Katrina’s free one. The door closed behind you.

Even though you had lost Lindsay as a friend, you knew that you gained so many more, and they were friends that you would have for life. Friends who kept your best interests in mind, supported you in ways that Lindsay never did. 

You squeezed Tara’s hand. She squeezed back. Katrina tightened her grip on your arm, and Devyn reached over to sling an arm around your shoulders. 

Yeah. Friends for life.

[watchtheblog]

petty cache

thank you for coming to read my diary which masquerades as a blog but is actually just a vessel for disseminating my birthday wishlists. it’s like an event you show up to where the host tries to sell you a timeshare 25 minutes after some requisite, mindless song and dance.

welcome! if you’d like purchase a timeshare, scroll to the bottom. for the song and dance, look no further:

the other day i zoned out on zoom therapy and when my therapist asked where i “went” i had to lie because i had gone to the part of my brain that holds all the things i need to think about forever for no reason (i call it the petty cache — this is an umbrella term for the space that also houses my attitude cabinet) and dusted off a memory of a comment i saw on a stranger’s facebook three weeks ago that said “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”.

i don’t know either person, and that’s what i was thinking about. i spend $[redacted] a month on therapy and instead of focusing on one of my numerous unsolved mysteries, i was thinking about the nuances of this comment - like why they wouldn’t just share the news or message the person directly? or what losing their password had to do with anything? or why they would comment on facebook instead of texting or calling the person. did they not have their number? imagine not knowing someone well enough to have their phone number, but still wanting to share your good news with them!

all i want (for my birthday) is to know what the news is that this stranger has to share, and i’ll never know so i have to put that comment in my minutiae repository with all the other things that will plague me until i die from texting and driving, smoke inhalation as a result of purposely leaving a candle lit in my home overnight almost every night, consuming half a dozen hot dogs a week, or a now unnamed disease that will posthumously be attributed to my chronic inability to mind my own business.

i’m constantly concerning myself with things that are none of my concern - no matter how insignificant - because my brain is a commune of sentient pepperoni running instagram polls among themselves to discern if something is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about. and guess what? it turns out absolutely everything that has ever offended, confused, bothered, intrigued, slightly inconvenienced, or merely happened to me is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about.

because i devote so much energy to nonsense, i can often be found persecuting strangers for insulting me on the internet (and for other miscellaneous bad behavior). the information superhighway is my home so i have to protect myself (and my friends) here, and if that means spending 45 minutes to 48 hours trying to find every misstep you’ve made in your life until i have enough ammunition to spray a dozen simulated retaliatory bullets at your virtual head because you called me a “stupid bitch” on instagram, well… so be it!

i am relentless in my pursuit of wasting time, so if that doesn’t work, i will find the cold stone creamery you frequent, seek employment there, be hired on the spot, learn the craft, be promoted to manager, poison you on your birthday, gain access to your funeral, and tarnish your reputation by reading your shitty DM in front of the few family and friends whom i haven’t already made aware of the abhorrent way you conducted yourself online!

there are so many different ways strangers will try to hurt your feelings — an interesting genre of which come from men who (like me) have definitely never had sex before, and mistakenly think i care about the ways in which my body does not make them horny.

“no tits” one will say. and i’m like, how do you want me to respond to that? my boobs are indeed small, yes. did you come here to shoot facts back and forth all day? ok: you’re going to start balding way sooner than you’re prepared for, i bet your childhood dog is dead, your time on the internet should be supervised, your closet is full of vests, and you wait on line at nightclubs… good day?!

while i will obviously engage with anyone if they want to fight, i prefer when the unsolicited criticism is personalized, and not just thoughtless, lazily devised tripe.

a year and a half ago, a man who looked like he exhales smog DMed me to let me know - among other things in a paragraph long rant - he’d “lost brain cells” watching my story. knowing he had likely never had an adequate amount to begin with, it seemed like an emergency, so i started a group DM with his wife. because his message had come just three days after a “fuckkk [heart eye emoji]” response to a photo of my ass, i included a screenshot as evidence of his devolving mental state.

being - presumably - gainfully employed, neither of them responded.

luckily, the consolation prize for insulting me is that you gain residency in my brain and stay in my thoughts and prayers for all eternity, so i checked in on them a few days ago. they’d unfollowed and wiped their feeds clean of each other!!

because i’ve never “moved on” in my entire life, i fired up our long dormant group chat, and sent my condolences: “aw. sorry your trip to positano - where you were going to attempt to repair your ramshackle marriage - got cancelled because of covid and so you just got divorced instead :(” i wrote before being blocked by both of them. 

then i headed right over to my therapist’s facebook and commented “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”

i spent an entire therapy session detailing this monomania before my therapist thoughtfully suggested i “pick [my] battles”.

to which i thoughtfully responded: yeah, babe. i pick every single one.

                                                        ***

timeshare time! it’s the same list as this post, with a few additions (at top) (and edits based on availability).

places to donate food education fund pretty brown girl the okra project

some furniture stuff a side table  a pointless, laughably tiny little thing this website is calling a “drink table” a lamp one of these benches i do not want this but it’s important to me that at least 2 other people know it exists

this plant that obviously does not need to cost $165 but idk how to shop economically

air pods

gifts from the previous post - all still v much in play!

a pair of shoes (size 8 or 38) one pair, another pair, yet another, these are on sale, these are not, and a final pair

a specific clutch with three color choices they allege this color is called sand but it looks white to me, pink, green for those who do not know what malachite means (it couldn’t be me. i learned it 3 hours ago when i began compiling this cursed list)

something everyone with money to waste needs this

dresses i’ll never be able to wear until there’s a vaccine because unlike someone tacky who knows me, i won’t be having a birthday party in the middle of a global pandemic (hi, you fool) white polka dot, not white polka dot, also not polka dot, a red dress, a skirt (aka half a dress), a black dress

this sweatsuit xs in this, small in this

is sephora cancelled? i want this hair dryer which i’m sure you can buy elsewhere if sephora is cancelled, which it v well may be

this item which you may think is cheap but actually it’s not soooo a hairpin

earrings one pair, another pair, and another

this dress which i’ll never wear anywhere even when there is a vaccine because… what?! but maybe. you never know. size 34. lol when i get this far into the list i’m always blown away by how insane it is that i do this every year to no audience. so i’m just laughing alone at that. :) i am v funny to myself. another dress i’ll never wear ;)

the nicest weighted blanket you know of i’m depressed!!!!! if you can’t tell!!!!!!!

every year i have asked for a weekend bag and every year i have not received one, so alas, we try again this is not a weekend bag actually but it will do. this is!

a peloton but just venmo me the cash (@merce212) because i have a hookup

an assortment of ridiculous things a $500 body scarf a $580 beach towel with an octopus on it for no reason besides “art” i cannot tell analog time but it’s never too late to start!! how mad would you be if someone bought you a roulette table for your wrist? be honest. (THIS WATCH IS FOUR YEARS RENT!!!!!!) they won’t say how much this costs :( i’m losing my mind and must be gifted a chanel watch or else i will perish. to put my salami on when i am eating salami in my bed “24k gold crocodile [?!!) teddy bear”. the website says there’s only one left, which begs the question “why did someone buy one of these rather than buying me a chanel watch?!!” *real ‘billionaires shouldn’t exist [unless they’re buying me a watch]’ energy* to put my new watch in this is ugly but it’s on sale :) idk wtf “secret box pendant” means but i wish this necklace was also a USB with every season and spinoff of 90 day fiancé on it hi yes i’m stupid but i draw the line at $1500 connect four…

[mcrmadness]

I really shouldn’t do this. Just thinking about people who are no longer a part of my life either because they decided to stop talking to me or because I decided it was better to part ways. And it’s making me sad and I hate it. Mainly because I’m again starting to feel invisible and lonely and apparently I then tend to torture myself even more by making me go and do things that I then associate with these people.

But I also hate it how I feel like I don’t have a normal concept of human relation(ship)s at all. Sometimes I wonder if I have played just too much The Sims games in my life (I started when I was 9 so I have played these games for 20 years) because I feel like the way I see the relationships is exactly how it is in the sims games. Don’t interact in a while and soon you get a message “you are no longer friends with X”. That’s literally how I feel friendships in my head. I feel like whenever there’s a long pause, that will mean that the friendship will be automatically reset back to 0 by time. Whenever there’s something we both like and have in common, it’s immediate green plus marks on the friendship and a positive moodlet. When we disagree or don’t have something in common, it will give red minus marks. And maintaining relationships feels as difficult as it is in the sims games too - tell them the same thing twice and it will be minus points. Tell them a thing they don’t like and it’s minus points, if you’re too close to 50%, maybe it drops from friends to acquintances. If you tell a succesful joke, you’re friends again. And right now I’m feeling like I’m “losing” all my friends because there’s been too huge pause with everyone and I feel sad about anything I associate with them because I feel like a friendship is over even when no one has said anything like that. It’s all in my head and it’s like a delusion because the second someone talks to me again, I forget ever even having such feels. But when the next pause comes, I again start to prepare myself for the moment where I’m left alone and never talked to again. Maybe I just have had this kind of situations so often in my life that I’m already preparing myself for that moment so that it won’t be that big of a shock when it happens.

I know it’s not healthy and it’s not RIGHT towards my friends to constantly be like this but can I change? Is there anything I could do to change this? I don’t always even recognize when I’m doing this, only lately I have woken up to this and it makes me feel bad because, like that one post I made several weeks ago, I’m really concerned that am I one of those unstable friends that will drive everyone around them into exhaustion eventually. Are people getting out of my life only to protect themselves? I feel like I’m always just too much to everyone and that I’m left alone in the end because I’m the only one who cannot escape me. I have to live with my brains and listen to all the shit it comes up. I’d love to cancel myself too if I could, but I can’t.

When my depersonalization/derealization was at its worst, I acually felt like I was invisible. Some days I was legit wondering if I was even alive. I was wondering if I was a ghost or idk, in a coma but just had no clue. I felt like people did not see me anywhere, I still can remember being to a grocery store and almost being run over by someone with a shopping cart and so many people almost walked against me and I just remember that moment so well as I got really frustrated and I was almost certain that I must be invisible, how else would people almost run over me with a shopping cart and they did not even look at me, as if I was not even there! Some days I thought maybe my minor car crash in 2010 put me into coma (yeah, Life On Mars uk much???) because I haven’t felt like the time would have passed AT ALL since that. I still feel like I’d be 19 and I’m supposed to be 29. Like, HOW???

And now I’m starting to have that feel of being invisible again. I have a nice amount of followers on Tumblr and this is something that I don’t really want to address at all because I appreciate every single one there and I could not care less about the number itself. But I’m starting to feel like... how could I gain more followers who would be interested in my stuff too? Like, I feel like talking to walls here. I bet no one is reading this post either. I so often feel like venting and writing down my thoughts but then I feel like there’s no point in that because I could as well write in a diary, which I hate, because as many people are going to read these as there’s people who can read my diary. Aka none. Not even me. I don’t like reading my diary and usually I also do not come back to these posts I put in Tumblr. Sometimes I browse my posts and am like “wtf have I been writing???” but I guess that’s the main point too, just to get it out of my system and I don’t need them back, mainly because they never really leave, they just evolve into new stuff I will vent here sooner or later too.

I am an attention whore who is afraid of being the center of attention. Sure if I tagged my posts more I might get more people to find me but I’m also afraid of being found or that my personal posts get reblogged. I don’t really want these to be on anyone’s dash except when it’s my original post. My social anxiety is afraid of notes and my HSP is afraid of the reactions I might get because of notes. But whenever I do something that I wish would get notes, I get none. And every time that happens, my perfectionism feels violated and I feel like a failure and that I suck at everything ever. Sometimes I am even shocked by the fact I post something like this and then suddenly remember that I have no idea how many people out these even is seeing these on their dash. What do they think? Do they see these and be like “oh god again that pathetic creature is whining some shit *eyeroll*” or do they just skip because idc.

I have so many times in my life felt like I am less than everyone else. It’s because when I was 13, my best friend turned out to be a narcissist (if that is possible for a 13-years-old) and we stopped being friends and eventually I made everyone else mad at me too and was alone, lonely and hated by everyone for a couple of years and your teens is the worst time for that to happen. I still don’t know if I was the villain or those girls. So I start feeling like a failure and worse than everyone very easily. AT some point I tried to get attention with my art but I didn’t succeed and I always felt like a failure then. “I should be better at arts, maybe I’d then be seen and approved.” During my worst time I actually thought I was relating to Garfield’ Jon so much and I legit thought I exist in this world only so that everyone else can feel a little bit better about themselves because there’s always at least one person who is worse than them. I literally felt like the meaning of my life was to make others feel better just because of how much of a loser I am. That’s why I feel sad when I see people getting asks all the time. I’m not really jealous or angry, I’m just sad because it just makes me remember how useless I am and how boring my life is and how bring absolutely nothing to this world and how... just invisible I am. I bet all ask posts have been on people’s dashes but no one just find me interesting enough to send questions. But I can’t blame them, because would I send myself asks if I was someone else and saw me on their dash? No. (Well, soon I will if no one else does, let’s see how out of my mind I will look for other people then lol.) I’d probably just unfollow my user because of what a pain in the ass I really am after all.

So whatever, a long post and useless blabber and just letting out some steam. I’ll go to watch some TV now and try to get over this. I’m also feeling like I hate Tumblr, I don’t want to come here to be disappointed because no one wants to know anything about me but I also can’t keep myself away from here because I want to know if I’ve got any asks because that would be some interesting stuff to do for my brains. So it’s like I have my hopes high only to be crushed in a minute and I keep doing this cycle every 5 minutes because I can’t decide if I should be a pessimist or an optimist.

Gosh, am I being selfish or what? I hate being selfish and I hate selfish people. But why am I still constantly talking about myself? Hypocrite much??? I wish I could unfollow the “blog” in my brains.

[peachyjie]

Hi, it’s me Nari.

Yes I am finally back from university and is now settling down back home after all the exams PTSD that shook my mental away from my body. But that isn't the point, I came back once again to sincerely put a long message once again to explain everything that had happened from the time I am not active and my future plans of this blog.

First and foremost, my sincerest apology for not being active or even alive once I started university. I did try writing, but my time was always taken away by either me running around campus for projects and studies, to me cramming myself in my dorm to study my ass off for exams. 

I know, I did promise you all that I will try to update even when university is on the line. And I did realized I didn't met the promise I made myself. Hence, I am so sorry for those who had supported me for so long, you’ve waited for me. To my mutuals also, I am sorry for being missing tumblr like a dead man.

Okay now to the questions I’ve been getting since my unwanted hiatus from the fandom itself. I hope you all will understand and support me even after? I am so sorry for the inconvenience I had caused to all of you. I hope you will come and sit through this long explanation because I suck at keeping things short, and well...

here we go-

Hi Nari, how was life?

I would be bloody lying if I said it was dandy. It was hectic. University was tough and I moved to a country that I never even been into, so you could say it murdered my mental slowly, but wow oh wow your girl made it. 

I recently took my finals exams for the year in May and recently just went on holiday to travel to China. It was fun, a great way for me to relax and really freshen up. Not to mention the amount of Yixing and WayV ads I seen flying around here and there, your girl was shook!

I am settling down now at home, writing again thankfully and will be updating soon as I am trying to finish up my series that I started and I would want to end without any cliffhanger.

So, did you come here just to apologise or...?

Yes and no, and I hope you all don't kill me for this.

My other reason to have this long post is to say that I am moving to another blog. I’ve been up to revamping and furnishing my new writing blog for some time now and it’s nothing too big or majestic as I want to keep things simple this time. I would be lying if I said it didn't take any of my time, in fact I had spent more than enough hours to fully furnished it into a decent blog.

What happen? Why are you moving?

There is nothing personal that happened in this blog, you all supported me amazingly and my mutuals are all beautiful people with wonderful hearts. It is my own decision to do so

The cliché reasoning behind it, I wanted to start fresh. I wanted a new start on having a blog that is actually mine. I came to tumblr to showcase my interest on writings, writings regarding plots and stories I thought others might enjoy. 

And I did. But I never knew that I would be so caught up with it so quickly and slowly lose interest on it as quickly also. It wasn't anything bad, but I did notice on how I never felt like the need to write anymore because it was pressuring me to do so, and producing a good stories did take me a lot of time and I wasn't happy enough with what I am doing.

So, what’s your plan now?

I am not going to move anything much from this blog to my new blog. I wanted to keep things as it is in this blog, as this main blog of mine is the beginning where everything started. The only thing I am moving from this blog is only the Royals and Diamonds series, yes that’s all.

It would be weird if I just deleted and abandoned this blog completely. I mean, without this blog I wouldn’t be able to come about to meet new people, my mutuals or even gain the supports I had received nowadays. Yes, I hold a lot of nostalgia dearly to me and I am a very much sappy person, sue me.

Mostly, I am just going to use this blog for a lot of reblogs, random rants or shizposting stuff when my heart desires to do so. Then on the new blog are my writings (you can check out the faq once I am done furnishing it) and get a general idea on what I am aiming for.

Then how about your stories? your requests?

Okay this is probably where you are going to either judge me, kill me, or idk just bear with me please.

The good news is, I am still going to continue Royals and Diamonds because that is my first ever series in this blog and I hold that nostalgia dearly to my heart, but also I had found the inspiration back on the plots. I am going to move the series and remaining new parts on the new blog soon, so I hope you all will stay tune and still support the series.

The bad news is, I am no longer going to take any request in this blog nor my new blog. It took me my whole will to fully reset my inbox and wip, and I am truly sorry for you who had came and dropped the requests yet I am not able to fulfill it. I loved writing your requests, they were all truly amazing and wonderful. I love seeing you all being creative giving me plots and even sometimes striking me with ideas for a potential series. It was great, knowing you all can contribute so much to a story.

But without knowing, sooner or later I felt the pressure on receiving requests. I felt intimidated, never felt the story I am giving are good enough, and I felt pressured on having to finish the whole requests in fear of upsetting others who requested them. This caused me to fully be engrossed on finishing the requests, and slowly I lost interest on writing my own ideas when this blog was born because I wanted to showcase my own plot. 

I know I shouldn't blame it on anyone, because the problem was coming in from myself but I was more scared to talk it all out. I didn't have fun and didn't like anything I was doing. I wanted to go on writing other groups yet I never got into it, and even until now I still want to write despite I didn't have any will nor enjoyment left.

That is why I decided to make a new blog, now solely dedicated to my stories and my own works. I wanted to now showcase something that is really from me, and might entertain you all in the end also. 

Hence, that’s why I came here and fully explain on everything that I am going to do once my blog is done and I hope you all can understand the decisions I made. I am sorry for being gone for so long, but this time I am back for good.

Have a nice day, and thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

[ambersky0319]

Amber Rambles about a Story-

So I wanna ramble about an original story, the ideas I have for it, the characters, the world in general and the one person in my house that would listen and give good feedback or ideas and knows the basics of what I have planned is currently asleep so

There's a lot here oof-

----------------------

So to start off I wanna scratch the surface that is the world before I delve into the characters

The story(from what I have planned it'll take place over 11 books) takes place mainly on an alternate-earth that is more dystopian/sci-fi ish and an original fantasy world I've been calling Fandahli. The first part of the first book takes place in Fandahli, and the second and third parts on this alternate-earth.

The earth is basically unified, most people speaking a new language just known as Emor(basically English under a different name). Technological advances have come to a stop, or so it would seem. The world is pretty much American culture having taken over media, erasing other cultures, etc. They now call themselves Emorians. Not a good place to be.

They had created an organization about twenty-five years before the story takes place, at the time called Prosper, but later it renamed itself as Tempest. The organization was less of that and more like a government experiment, combining animal genes into the genes of humans in a certain way to create the 'ultimate human'. Originally, the Emorians created them to keep everyone in line. These humans were trained to be assassins without the government's knowing however and it wasn't long before Emorian officials began to disappear.

Now Fandahli! Fandahli is a world that's very similar to Earth, but is held together by magic(in this universe, Earth also technically has magic but it's very little/very weak and has been dormant for so long it's been forgotten). It was created by four Cinomeds, powerful beings that have powers no one still on Fandahli has. These four are: Rikki, Angel, Serranidae, and Aki.

Along with that, the most two important continents on Fandahli are Vola and Tione.

After the War of Cinomeds, where Angel rebelled against her companions, the land was pretty much destroyed. But portals to other worlds remained open and the land healed. Humans then arrived after discovering one of the portals, but soon after the portals all closed once more, trapping them there. The humans adapted, gaining magic to help them survive, and changed their name to Dalis.

The Dalis split over the different continents, and then into different kingdoms, and grew from there. The main kingdom focused on is Tongyi, located within Vola. It remains spring there no matter the time of year.

The powers of the Dalis vary, but usuaily end up being one of these:

Weapon-Creation

Barrier-Creation

Healing

Barrier creation and weapon creation can sometimes occur within the same Dali, though it isn't too common- but it's not rare either

Aside from Dalis, there are also Dragons. The dragon species vary on where on Tione they come from, or if they come from a different part of Fandahli. I'm still designing some of them.

And then there are the werewolves. Most werewolf villages are peaceful, and are respected by all Dali. It's believed to be a great dishonor to fight any werewolf village. I'm still developing the werewolves as well, I just know they play important roles within the story itself later on.

Back to Cinomeds cause I forgot an important detail!

After the War of Cinomeds(thought to be a war of gods by the Dali, they're also thought to just be legends), Angel was forcefully split apart. Her soul was torn and although Rikki(the one who defeated her) believed that she was gone for good, it seemed that she would just be reincarnated into two other people(Dalis for a long while, later encompassing both Fandahlian species and Humans) that when together could possibly turn into her. It was rare that any of the reincarnates actually met.

The other Cinomeds fell into a deep slumber until the portals would be reopened.

I feel I've rambled long enough about the world 😅 how about my babies next?

Evanna Mays

Evanna is a force to be reckoned with

The youngest queen to ever rule Tongyi, taking the throne soon after her (quite hated)mother's death. She took the throne midway through a war with another kingdom

Evanna herself is loved among her subjects, though many often try to tell her to do or not do certain things. Try to give her restrictions

Like don't fight on the front lines, have an heir if you're gonna do that, just stay on your throne, don't go to other kingdoms it's too dangerous

Each person fails

Especially whenever they bring up an heir, cause it's not like she doesn't like kids she just never wants to have a biological one

And she refuses to marry someone with a kid so they'd become her heir

She's Aro/Ace if ya didn't catch on

Her family all has bright red hair and pastel blue eyes. They're the only ones in all of Vola with these traits and are quite recognizeable.

She later adopts and people get off her case about having an heir because he is her son just not her biological son but that changes nothing cause she loves him and will fight anyone who thinks he's not fit for the throne

Dani Mays

The adopted son

He's just like Evanna, rushing into battle, and citizens of Tongyi just panic because oh fuck he's gonna die he's more reckless than her-

Very social but people treat him so differently cause he's the prince that he can't seem to make any friends and he h a t e s that

Then two humans come into his life and he is very very bi

Queue a whole love-triangle subplot that goes well

Dani adores reading and learning overall, spending hours in Evanna's old study

Becomes King far sooner than he had wanted

Life goes to hell not long after coronation and he suffers from depression and nothing's good for anyone during this time

Does he get a happy ending? Who knows

He doesn't

Oh also he's a biromantic asexual boi and proud

Leona Carter

Young woman with a troubled past, Leona is a very stubborn and apathetic human

Is a high-ranking member of Tempest

It was a last resort in a difficult situation and she's just glad her heart is still beating

Is pretty well-off so long as she follows orders

But if course she later joins a rebellion after becoming very gay for one of her targets that she now refuses to kill for other reasons

Slow burn subplot ensues

She nearly dies many times

95% of the time she does not care if she dies

Just wants a peaceful life

Does she ever get it?

Eventually, after losing something really important though

Marie Sydney

Marie had a decent life, great parents and an awesome protective older brother, and his new daughter

Yeah that all shattered after something happened to her and she was left to cope by herself cause she wasn't sure what to do about the situation

She just adopted a fifteen year old btw who has no idea about her situation

Then she meets Leona

She thinks Leona's great, but there's something off about this news reporter

And then Leona reveals her actual job and the original reason she ever asked Marie out and she's sobbing and a gun is in her hand but she's placing it in Marie's and begging for Marie to pull the trigger

Turns out Marie was a target but Leona just can't kill Marie, not knowing what's happened to Marie nor what could happen now that the two grew close. But Leona's incapable of taking her own life

Marie doesn't pull the trigger

Life somehow gets worse as she's tangled up in this whole Tempest bullshit

Falls for Leona in the process and is very conflicted about it

Taylor Sydney

Adopted by Marie at 15

Her life's pretty normal until a portal is discovered and when she's a high school senior her class is forced to learn about Vola and Tongyi specifically. They eventually go to Tongyi through the portal

Turns out her Mom and Leona know the queen of Tongyi cause things have happened

Meets Dani and Jeremiah

They find out they can form Angel and that's when shit really goes down

Things happen, love confessions made, near death experiences, loves drifting apart, etc. etc.

Doesn't have a happy ending

Jeremiah Canales

My trans boi

I love him, he gets mistaken for Evanna's son quite a lot, usually by humans

He identifies as pan, and doesn't experience dysphoria. Oh and he was a Tempest Engineer for awhile

His family was pretty accepting of him once he reconnected with them(originally drifted apart cause of reasons I have yet to create)

Is pretty much the only braincell Angel has when formed

He feels really, really guilty that weapons he created were used to kill dozens of people and somehow equates that to him killing them even if he was forced to make the weapons

Oh and Deathstriker(highest ranking member of Tempest) uses his Tempest name and despite being absolutely awful in every way refuses to deadname or misgender him

It's the one thing he'll ever appreciate Deathstriker doing

-------------------

This ain't even all the characters(obviously). There's still Kord Sydney, Chloe Jansen, and Neva Sydney, all of whom are still being developed. Deathstriker, and all the Cinomeds. Past Angels that will be relevant at different parts of the story. And many other characters that I've never even mentioned in the past.

Anywho fair warning, the series does not end quite that happily. I'm hoping to make the last chapter(an epilogue) to have a bittersweet feeling but idk I'm debating it.

Anyway if you got this far....

Thanks? I think? Idk I've never had anyone get this far I think in any original thing I've ever made- if you got this far tho here's some hearts cause I love you for taking some sort of interest in my personal creations 😅

💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤

[oumakokichi]

I think you've already answered a question like this, but idk. What are some examples showing that Ouma is an empathic person?

Thank you so much for asking this question, because this isright up my alley, honestly.

I always love talking about Ouma’s empathy, because I feelit’s part of what really sets him apart as a character. Of course, I love the “cold,strategic, chessmaster” aspect of his personality, too—but we’ve had manycharacters in DR who are cold and ruthless and terrifying. Junko, Kamukura,Komaeda, and many others all have those traits in common, or at least verysimilar ones.

What’s less common, however, is to have a character who hasall of those traits, and who is also so very human at their core. One of the most fascinating things about Oumain my opinion isn’t the fact that he’s a genius (although he certainly is) orthe fact that he can be absolutely morally grey and downright cutthroat when hewants to be. It’s the fact that he’s all of those things and yet never onceloses his humanity, that aspect of himself which can relate to and understandhis classmates’ thoughts even if he can’t excuse their actions.

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and shareanother person’s thoughts and feelings. That’s all. It doesn’t necessarily meanforgiving the other person, or even completely agreeing with them—only that it’spossible to understand them and how they must be feeling. Looking at thisdefinition, I don’t think anyone can deny that Ouma is an extremely empatheticcharacter, given all the evidence.

Regardless of his mistakes, and regardless of his villain façade,throughout the entire game we’re provided with plenty of proof that he does understand his classmates, and thathe cares about them deeply in his own way. Unlike characters like Junko,Kamukura, or Komaeda, who were all marked by their inability to truly care orconnect with others, Ouma is someone who cares very deeply, and who inevitablylets it show despite his best efforts to put up a flawless routine.

When his classmates die, he mourns. When they’re in pain, hedoesn’t enjoy it. While I know quite a few people will disagree, I think manyof Ouma’s reactions to his classmates’ death, even the seemingly exaggeratedcrocodile tears, can be taken a lot more at face value than one might think. Often,even the crocodile tear reactions are, I think, his way of trying to mask thepain he feels. After all, his classmates expect that his reactions are a lieanyway. When no one is expecting those reactions to be genuine in the firstplace, it gives him a perfect opening to show how he really feels whilecovering his vulnerability with the usual “that was a lie, though!” routine.

I feel it’s worth noting just how quick he is to express hisemotions whenever they watch someone die, or discover a body. On pretty muchevery occasion, he’s generally either: 1.) extremely loud, shocked, anddistressed (usually with his more exaggerated, crocodile tears sprites), or 2.)very quiet and subdued, often looking either blank or depressed.

It’s clear to see how he sympathizes with the victims ineach trial—in Chapter 2, for example, he even goes as far as to demand the restof the group “apologize to Hoshi,” for letting the killing game continue againeven though they all acted like it was over. He acts really, truly angry, and calls the rest of them “abunch of liars,” though quickly reverts back to pretending to be fine whenKorekiyo turns the question around and asks if those are crocodile tears.

And in Chapter 4, it’s very clear on a reread to see howdeeply Miu’s death shook him, even though he was responsible for it. He looksextremely shaken up by her body discovery, even sweating and looking down as heremarks that “this is a killing game, and these kinds of things happen.”Clearly, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that her death was “necessary”in order to avoid either getting himself killed or the whole group gettingkilled, he couldn’t actually bring himself to justify it deep down.

This sympathy isn’t limited to just the victims, however. IfOuma truly had difficulty empathizing with others, then I think he would behavea lot more like Saionji, whose black-or-white mindset meant she empathizedpretty easily with people who she saw as “good,” but felt that those who were “bad”(usually the culprits) deserved no empathy or grief whatsoever. This mindset isdefinitely a child’s way of looking at things: the idea that sometimes goodpeople do bad things because of circumstances or factors beyond their controldoesn’t occur to someone like Saionji, and she has no interest in exploringthat train of thought.

However, Ouma has no trouble in empathizing with theculprits in ndrv3, either. While he can’t condone murder personally, he can atleast understand why the others do it, even if their inability to stopfrustrates him to no end, particularly when the killing game keeps snowballingbeyond his control. Nonetheless, he stops all his façade and gives Kaede a veryblank, forthright farewell, telling her that she “wasn’t boring.” Similarly,after Kirumi’s execution, he remarks that seeing her will to live on might have“changed his way of thinking about things a little,” and that the will to runaway and live on isn’t a bad thing in and of itself.

And, of course, there’s his reaction to Gonta’s execution, whichis the most notable out of all of them because of just how deeply Ouma was hurtby then. While Ouma’s actions are definitely inexcusable in Chapter 4, there’sno denying that his pained reactions at Gonta’s death were true. Everything,from his tears to his pleas to be executed with Gonta, was a reflection of justhow much it hurt him to throw Gonta under the bus as a sacrificial pawn.Although it was a plan of his own choosing, he very nearly couldn’t stick withit in the end—only Gonta’s request that he live on and “become friends witheveryone” was enough to make Ouma reluctantly agree to keep going.

Had he truly been lying about those tears or that pain,there was no need to keep up the façade in front of Gonta. He had nothing togain by crying in front of him, or by asking to be executed with him. In fact,if he had been even half the villain he pretended to be in the Chapter 4post-trial, he would’ve revealed his “evil villain act” a lot sooner, probablywhile Gonta was still alive to see it. After all, what could’ve hurt moredeeply as a betrayal and rubbed more salt in the wound than telling Gonta allthose things to his face, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it?

His attempt to send Gonta off instead with a “gentle lie”(as in, not telling him that their whole plan in the VR world to “save everyone”had been a ruse from the start) was done out of mercy, not malice. Many of hisactions in Chapter 4 make no sense unless looked at from the perspective thathe was faking his villain routine, and showing his honest reactions insteadwhen he broke down at Gonta’s death. His attempts to take on all the blame, thefact that he asked the others not to blame Gonta in the slightest, and, ofcourse, his dismayed, horrified silence following Gonta’s execution, all showthat he knew he was doing something horrible and awful to Gonta, and that heregretted it and hated himself for it.

This doesn’t only apply to Chapter 4, though. Many of Ouma’sactions in Chapter 5 also make no sense at all unless viewed through theperspective that he was actively trying to help the group, not hurt them.Unlike Komaeda, who made it clear as early as Chapter 1 that he would helpeither the rest of the group or the culprit at any given opportunity, dependingon which one “embodied hope the best,” Ouma exclusively helps the group fromthe shadows, providing hints, clues, and a trail of breadcrumbs, all withouttrying to make it look like he’s helping at all.

He says it himself, quite often: that he does what he does “foreveryone’s sake.” In Chapter 2, he even cheekily tacks on that even if he sayshe’s doing things for everyone’s sake, the others “probably won’tbelieve him, and will just take it as a lie, though.”

Where Komaeda wanted recognition and praise for being “thestepping stone for hope,” Ouma asks for virtually nothing in exchange for his assistance,despite being one of, if not the key reason why the survivors make it outalive. If anything, he often resorted to his villain routine in order to tryand mask his good intentions—such as in Chapter 5, when he handed the electrichammers out to the group, practically on a silver platter, then later hit themall with “the truth of the outside world” in order to try and get rid of theirdesire to go outside and stop the killing game completely.

Had Ouma lacked the ability to empathize with hisclassmates, he also would never have left the clues that he did for his ownmurder in Chapter 5. Absolutely all of those clues were things he verycarefully, deliberately planted, in order to help Saihara and the others reachthe truth. There was no need at all for him to leave Momota’s jacket stickingout from under the press, or tell Momota to flush his own shirt down thetoilet, or to hand the group the camcorder video which became the singlebiggest piece of evidence that a culprit-victim swap had occurred.

All of these clues were left to make sure that the otherswouldn’t actually be executed by Monokuma, if it came down to such a decisionin the trial. Ouma was a master at bluffing, but that’s all it ultimately was:just a bluff. He knew that although it was likely Monokuma wouldn’t be able toexecute anyone if he didn’t know who the culprit was, there was also apossibility that he’d go through with it anyway. And as someone who hated theidea of getting others killed, and who wanted to avoid repeating the samemistakes he made in Chapter 4, he absolutely refused to risk everyone’s liveson that chance, despite his and Momota’s expert bluff. Hence, the clues whichwere otherwise entirely unnecessary to making a real “catbox murder.”

Not least of all, there’s his speech during Momota’sflashback in the Chapter 5 post-trial, in which he reveals that he actuallyhated every single minute of the killing game and resented the people who putthem through it. Had his feelings of distress been limited to the frustrationof losing a game he really, really wanted to win, that would’ve been one thing—butthat’s not the case. Instead, Ouma explicitly says that he wanted to strikeback at the ringleader and the audience in order to “make them all taste truedespair,” and that it would be “perfect revenge for all the people who died.”This line stands out to me, because there was absolutely no reason for him tomention their deceased classmates here unless he really, truly did care aboutall of them.

Again, Ouma’s speech in Chapter 5 is just as genuine as hisbreakdown at Gonta’s death. There’s no real arguing this fact: his motivevideo, found in Chapter 6 almost immediately after, directly supports thisfact. Ouma and DICE were morally against killing; their most important mottowas “don’t kill people,” (just like any good phantom thief) and they wentaround pulling harmless pranks and crimes for fun. Ouma’s motive video isclearly intended as a clue to help not only Saihara, but also the playerthemselves realize that there was a lot more truth hidden in the midst of Ouma’slies than he initially let on.

All of these things truly set him apart as a character forme. He has so many similarities and parallels to a number of other DRcharacters—as I mentioned, Junko and Kamukura are also geniuses, experts atstrategizing and manipulating those around them. When it comes to these two inparticular, I feel Ouma has the added parallel of being highly implied to havesome kind of SHSL Analysis as his talent.

But unlike Junko and Kamukura both, who cannot trulyempathize with those around them, and who turn to inflicting despair on othersin order to seek out an escape from their boredom, what sets Ouma apart themost is the fact that he never actually does this.

Despite how much the word “boredom” is associated with hischaracter, despite the fact that he very likely has a variation of SHSLAnalysis, and despite the fact that Tsumugi wanted to deliberately set him upas an evil, “Junko 2.0” figure during the killing game, Ouma never once wantedto see others suffer or die. In fact, he’s the first character in the entirefranchise to take the idea of “despair” and try to turn it back on the peoplewho made him and his classmates suffer in the first place—the people who wantedto see that “despair” happen the most, in other words.

Ouma is strategic, brilliant, and absolutely cold at times,it’s true. But he’s also incredibly warm at his core, I think. He has achildish quality that the other characters similar to him generally lack (aquality which his official Famitsu profile and Kaede both note makes him “hardto hate”). His idea of seeking an escape from boredom isn’t by hurting others,or making them despair, but by seeking out fun, “interesting” things. Anythingthat surprises him, anything that surpasses his expectations, is automaticallyable to catch his interest. And that’s such a refreshing, interesting trait ina character who tries so hard to convince the characters, the players, and evenhimself that he’s actually ruthless and emotionless.

I’ve talked for long enough probably, so I’ll stop this now,but this was incredibly enjoyable to write. I hope I was able to answer yourquestion! There are so many little hints and clues that Ouma is actually an incrediblycaring and empathetic person; I’ve only just touched on the main points,really. None of this changes the fact that he can be an asshole, to be sure, orthat some of the things he does are inexcusable, but I feel that it’s importantto remember why he does what he does.

One of the key phrases in Umineko (yes, I’m bringing Uminekointo this again, sorry) is “without love, it cannot be seen.” All it means isthat your perspective on absolutely anything is bound to change drasticallydepending on whether you look at it “with” or “without love.”

If you want to view Ouma through the viewpoint of a villainand a horrible person, someone who toyed with everyone and felt nothing aboutit, it’s incredibly easy to do so—especially on a first playthrough. All youhave to do is dismiss all the evidence suggesting he’s a good person, andbelieve everything he or the other characters say about being horrible. But ifyou try looking at it from the other perspective, that he might not be sohorrible after all, your interpretation of the exact same scene can flip aroundalmost entirely, showing new insight into what he might have been thinking orfeeling.

Thank you for stopping by anon, and I’m glad I had a chanceto write about this particular topic!

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 8 - “These bitches really do be getting on my nerves” - Chloe

rip stevie :( in the aftermath of that tribal that legit just felt like one massive personal attack i decided to go do some homework bc something felt off to me!! madison was out there whining about OMG BEING IN THE WARZONE THE WHOLE TIME BOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO and yet lmao she's either been "excused" or gotten a strike for deadass just not doing the challenges. the jig is uP! i think it's fairly obvious people are just using the warzone as a way to build relationships and i mean who can blame them, but her whole pity party at these tribals needs to stop. my mood towards her has definitely soured in the last hour lol i'm over it  fam. also i've been talking to ian since the tribal to get some tea since tommy is legitimately useless. i'll like ask him what happened at tribal and he literally just goes "oh i just heard his name from everyone" shrug emoi LIKE!! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO FIND SOME MORE TEA OUT... anyways i find out from ian that cullan apparently brought up that they should target timmy for challenge prowess, to which ian said he shot down due to that being a slippery slope which soon leads to him. if that's true i'm v glad that that got shot down bc that's, in my mind, a shot fired at me. GIRRRRRL, like just leave me alone i shouldn't be fucking persecuted bc half of you guys are throwing challenges and i've actually been doing them. that doesn't mean shit. 

I was able to get 217 seconds on the slide puzzle. Would I get any better? 🤷‍♂️ I dont think so. I have my graduation today so hopefully this score is enough.

not gonna lie I compleeeeetely COMPLETELY forgot about the chall until this morning when I was walking to class and my dumbass is at class and work and class again until 10 pm today so I don’t rlly have a MOUSE on me..... cut to me desperately and embarrassingly texting my classmates asking them to bring a mouse to class for me nnnn this is not gonna go well. maybe it’ll be good for me to go to war zone anyways I guess 

Hi sisters! Last vote was super easy. It was like “Stevie k?” “K.” But also even though I feel like I’m a big part of the decision making process for every vote, I never get less nervous that everyone is lying to me! Strategic playing, or crippling trust issues? You decide.

These bitches really do be getting on my nerves

Its almost graduation time and im sooo nervous and excited. It would be nice to not be in warzone tonight. Please survivor gods help me.

Well this is a crucial immunity. After being out of the war zone for 2 in a row I feel at this point I am a little outside the people who have been there so many times. I think I have some strong bonds with some players but I do not that a couple have it out for me. Namely Madison and Jacob, which at this point I fed they should be over the whole Renee vote but that’s their prerogative. 

Sooooo Final 15 baby! Honestly Im so proud of this time around on my TS journey cause Im actually liking the individual competition portion of this game. Its like the merge part of any Survivor game but with a "tribal competition" aspect. Meaning that I only have to worry about me, myself, and I and I love that. I just need to show that Im the bad bitch that is in control and take this game by the fucking reins and show it who's boss. Aint no way Im gonna get 15th, 14th or 12th again madam. No way. 

Reinke

---

I survived, yeet. Kait survived, yeet. Ian went in, f*ck. Maynor went in, f*ck. Chloe went in, f*ck. Adrian went in...yeet.

Hello! I am safe again, 2nd time in a row? Idk. I do like Kait but I don't entirely trust her. I think I can use her for a bit as she'll believe she's using me. If I have the chance to get her out before or early merge, I will. Thomas is the most boring person in this game. I have yet to meet Timmy but I doubt anyone can beat Thomas in this feat. Talking to him is like talking to a wall. A white wall too. Also, he has no manners, demands favours and doesn't say please or thank you... The second I have the chance, he's gone. Nehe should've stayed, not him. Otherwise, Ian and I are working on some kind of power together for battleship. I really do like Ian. I hope we can make it far together, he's my number 2 after Owen. Together, we have the Topaz Idol and a potential save vote and a potential new power. Maynor and I have been socializing and friendly, I want him gone sooner than later but he's not a priority. He isn't great in comps generally. Still love Trace and I do trust him to an extent. I dislike Stephen, would like to see him leave relatively soon. I don't trust him at all. On the other side, Matt is going to tribal and him and I have built quite a bit of trust previously, I hope he makes it. I'm happy Cullan and Owen and Adrian are safe as I trust all 3 to certain extents. I would like Timmy to go due to his comp prowess and due to the fact we have yet to interact, but he's immune, again. I hope Chloe makes it out okay. I also hope Devon makes it out alive. I love that guy. I think Devon, Chloe, Trace and Ian can work together though! Matt could join with them as him and Devon were big parts of the Renee vote. Madison and Maynor, who were both left out of that vote, could see their way out which is A-okay by me. Jacob was also left out of this vote but I think Ian won't target him, just my two cents. I see Jacob as a better ally for me down the road compared to Madison or Maynor. That being said, I like many people in this game. I think my social game is strong. I do need to be careful with my words as some may catch on. And I may find myself at tribal with 7 ppl I like. I have my hierarchy of allies in my mind and I know who's at the bottom of my totem poll, I just hope I can get those who aren't even on it out first. I'm also a comp threat. Usually, I can lurk in the shadows more easily but with the dynamic and my low level of comfort with risk, competition prowess combined with my social game, though flashy, is what I'm betting on to keep myself safe. Owen and Kait and Timmy's competition prowess outshines mine and people peg Madison as the socialite who throws/does not complete comps to be in warzone. As long as there are some who play flashier than me, I'll be okay. Until next time!

I found a Rock Saver with the help of Corey, chill but I'm more than happy to send that over to him the second I'm back from warzone.  That is such a situational power and there aren't really alliances yet to risk rocks for, but when there are it will be within Corey and I's power to use.  Again, I'll play the idol to survive if I need to, but I'll do everything I can to prevent having to play it at f16, the jury doesn't care about what happens in the premerge portion of the game.

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It's going to be Jacob or Madison this round. Idol or bust, Cancer will take a hit, because fuck cancer.  I'm done with the waiting for someone to take out players who have been just chilling in the Warzone, I'm done with the throwing challenges, I'm done with the deceit.  The Warzone is not redemption island, you can't feed me a fish and send me on my way to build your jury presence.  Madison is sans her warzone buddies, she's vulnerable besides Jacob.  Let's go!

I may be in the war zone rn but Ian is here and I have fuckin missed that boi so yanno pros and cons 

I so so so do not want to be here at Warzone again. This vote is probably the most complicated thus far because at this point I need a lot of things to go a very specific way in order for people to not realize I’m in the middle. Devon trusts me and wants to go with Ian’s plan to vote our Madison or Jacob and Madison and Maynor want to vote Ian which I would also like. However at this point I need to make everyone happy and the odds of doing that are so slim. I just have to convince Maynor wnd Madison to vote Jacob or Devon to vote Ian and neither one is the path of least resistance. I’m on the path of MOST resistance and by path I mean 1 inch wide tightrope suspended over hungry sharks.

I was not that surprised when I got voted out. I did not expect it because voting out Stephen did in fact seem like a plausible option and i felt that between him and myself it was kinda similar. It was believable that he would be voted off, but I totally understand why I was voted off. The interesting part about it to me is I think I was the least connected person in the game and I can see how that can get dangerous in merge because those people can flip a lot, but right now I thought it might've been a good opportunity to gain me as a number. I think this tribal was my first interaction with Trace and Ian. I did like them and I liked talking to them and I think I had potential to work with them if the plan of voting me out wasn't already in place. There were a few people I did not talk to that round because i didn't think I should've had to reach out to EVERYONE in order to talk to them. I just think there are alliances that have formed that i am not a part of because the decision-making for these votes is kinda weird and I don't always understand the motives. So to me an alliance i am not a part of makes the most sense. I was very excited about the lagoon though. I am hoping I get a chance to come back because that would be lit. I just need to stick it out through these votes and I am hoping Renee is connected to at least one of the other three so we can stay. Kinda glad Nehe is gone. I think he was bad for my game

Devon has been a godsend so far today, I talked to him last night about wanting Jacob or Madison out and he has up and ran with it.  Devon being the face on this vote? Yes please, I don't want to blow back on me if it flips.

I actually have people working with me and talking to me this round? 😮😮😮 crazy that maybe these people have finally stopped trying to get me fucking out 

Trying to talk to cullan rn and I can’t decide if it’s more or less difficult than talking to Thomas. He’s sent like three one word answers now.... Me: you doing anything exciting this weekend!? Cullan: Graduating. Ummmm ok hoe sounds real exciting hskshdjd like elaborate? Oh well I’m not answering. I tried to reach out bc my social game is ass rn but I’m not putting myself thru that today!!!! I miss Kait :( and I want to talk to corey :(((( grrrr they the real ones. And matt. Have yet to have a stimulating conversation with literally anyone else in this game. Wait ok actually I do like Timmy and madison SJSU’s je but madison busy too and Timmy sends LONG messages. Why can’t I have an in BETWEEN!!

I'm definitely going to see at least one vote tonight, I'm nervous about it because if people flip on me instead of voting Jacob I'll be dead to rights because I will not play my idol unless another idol is played. My thought process is that if I need my idol to save myself from a majority vote tonight then I wasn't bound to go far in this game anyway. I'll take my ball(advantages) and go home. 5 people told me they are voting Jacob, Matt told me Jacob is voting for me, if I'm being fed bullshit by everyone then that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Today has been quiet but people have brought up that Jacob and Madison are a strong duo. Matt was able to put the target on Jacob. It could be a 4-4 tie but Matt Madison n I might just go with majority and vote Jacob.

As per usual, I have no idea if I made a confessional about this or not. I can’t believe I won immunity, like I didn’t even have computer access. And i got 3rd so i had some margin to be safe (granted Adrian got 4th with one second more than me but still). That was the first time I did the puzzle because my other times were worse. If I was doing it on a computer my time would’ve been so much better so idk what happened with everyone else. And today Owen messaged me saying he feels kind of fucked because he hasn’t been to tribal in ages, which might be true but also he can probably win a lot of immunities come merge and people like him. I’m happy to work with him right now because we both have a lot of challenge wins but honestly I want him to go earlier on in merge because he is good at getting quick social connections.

oof mama, what a round this is panning out to be. First of all, I felt personally victimized by that challenge. The Ard tribe is full of some SERIOUS competitors, and that's the reason that I will most likely continue to show up at these stupid war zones until we merge. Fucking Kait has made it this far without going to the war zone at all, which is putting SUCH A LARGE target on her back. bUt whatever, it's just frustrating being on a tribe of people that probably do online puzzles for fun. So this round is interesting. After last round's unanimous vote, I feel a lot more comfortable working with certain people in the game. Ian has kind of solidified his spot as my number one in this game (more to come about that too). He came to me and was like we NEED to make a move against Madison/Jacob. He said he knows that Madison is a challenge threat, but is purposely trying to lose the challenges so that she can make connections with people in the war zone. Though he had made some points, I really don't think Madison is that smart to figure out how to do that. I really just think she is busy/not prioritizing and keeps showing up here. She seems pretty innocuous. That being said, she has become a bit of a social threat, slipping by all of these rounds without having to really do much. BUT, I do trust her and don't want her to be sent packing quite yet. Jacob, her star sign partner, on the other hand, can go. He doesn't talk at all, and when he doesn't they're boring one word answers. So I had pretty much set my heart on Jacob even though he is on our tribe, making my chances higher of showing up here if we keep doing the war zone format. To make matters more interesting, I talked a bit more to Matt this round and he told me that Madison and Jacob were gunning for Ian this round. Madison claims she is good with voting for Jacob, but everyone else says they seem to be a strong pair. I went straight to Ian with this and then he TOLD ME HE HAD AN IDOL. Honestly I am so happy to know he has it and not someone against me, because that's going to be some great information to have later on down the road. I think he is really paranoid, but at this point I just really cannot tell who is lying and telling the truth. I am hoping that people are being truthful and going to actually vote for Jacob, but I am trying to figure out who exactly has been saying Ian's name. It's ultimately going to be up to him whether he wants to play the idol this round but oof, if I were him, I'd be sweating. SO we shall see, but lord knows I'm shaking in my loafers!

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 8: “jay, I don't know who to trust anymore“ - Zest

Brianna

Okay Marie got voted out cuz Felix idoled Joey and that shit and I’m really upset about it. I think I just. Need to remain calm tho. I don’t need to freak out just cuz something didn’t go my way. I believe I’m still in a relatively good spot in the game and can still do some damage if I play my cards right. The only question is to who. The big targets now are Felix and Apollo in my opinion. How to get them out and remain safe is the question. Guess I have some thinking to do. Cya : ) 

Felix

I played an idol correctly for once in my life. This is actually the biggest gag of the century because it saved my ally and now I have at least some numbers left. Flint, Joey, and Lysandre are all numbers for me. I also think Boris is one too, but all Sumi people just rub me the wrong way. Next round will be interesting because we need to get rid of someone from Sumi because they are gaining traction quickly. Though, I doubt that people will remain loyal to that tribe alliance. I mainly want to target either Zest/Brianna/Apollo. They have got to go. This is an independent game, but I'm stuck in a position where I have to work with my old tribe. Yet, I can still gain the trust of Boris and Lysandre. I don't think I can EVER work with Apollo/Brianna/Zest. The latter two because I just don't talk to them enough. The former because I literally cannot trust his word. These three are the biggest threats to my game and they need to go. My order would now be Zest > Brianna > Apollo. My FTC could be with either Lys/Joey or Flint/Joey. All I know is that Joey is coming with me to FTC because he is the goat to end all goats.

Flint

WOW that tribal was wild. I did not expect Felix to have that many advantages. And that transparency one?! That really exposed me for flipping on our Tuai alliance. Just when I thought I couldn’t be any lower, here I am sitting in the grave I dug myself. Hope Marie keeps a slice of pizza warm for me cuz I’ll be joining her soon. 

Apollo

Ya bitch just found a motha fucking idol!!!! I’m fucking screaming!!!

zest

jay, I don't know who to trust anymore. I am a ball of stress. I want to stay in this competition. I need to figure something out. 

Felix

It is interesting to me that Lysandre chose Boris over me in the last round for immunity. To me that means he did not want me to ever win immunity in the first place. Thus, I must be a target for this tribal council which does not surprise me at all. I did, after all, just make a huge move and shook up the game so it comes as no surprise that people would begin targeting me. I do not believe that I can convince Zest or Brianna to vote my way, so there's no point in talking to them about the vote. I want to go for Apollo in this vote, but I do not know if I would have the numbers to do so. Honestly Flint can go now if he is so inclined, but we need to do something about this Brianna/Zest/Apollo alliance that I know is around. Apollo probably wants to take them to the end rather than Boris since they are major goats in this game. Maybe we should strip him of his numbers first before actually striking at him. Plus, Zest or Brianna would be a stronger pill to swallow for people to vote out. All in all, my plan remains the same though I doubt that without this immunity that I will make it much farther in this game. 

Lysandre

So the challenge is a chain reaction and I'm trying to set my list up to who I want to win vs who I Dont want to win. I mixed the Boris in at the top with the Taui folk.

Lysandre

My target for this round is Briana or Zest! And honestly even Apollo but idk about him yet. Lets see how the list challenge goes first. LysandreSo I put Felix as number two on tbe list so I cab show my trust to him and I think it worked out. ONG I FREAKING WON THIS CHALLENGE. AT final 8!!! I did that ugh my social game I love that whore. And the JURY voted for me to win it since there was a tie!! I am beyond ecstatic 

Lysandre

So winning immunity is both a blessing and a curse. It shows that I'm a little bit of a social threat as well as challenge threat and they see that now in how I was positioned on the lists (by thinking really hard about it lol). I also got the Jury's vote which says that between me and Boris they support me more which gives me more fuel to take Boris to the end of the game with me along with say Joey. I also came to the conclusion that it was Apollo and Zest who put me somewhere in the middle of their list or presumably under eachother and Boris which leads me to believe they are Sumi strong. I believe this is enough for me to try and target Zest this round. She's not playing the game for herself and she's in no way loyal to me. Apollo, however, seems to want to take me further than a few people so he can stay for now. All I have to do is cut out his ride or die Zest and I possibly take that spot. My eyes are still on Apollo since he has some sort of advantage and my eyes are on Flint who has this alliance with Brianna.. 

Lysandre

On second thought I may have to get Apollo out this round. He still has an advantage and is more of a threat than Zest. However, if he goes then Zest has to be next. My only concern is Boris and where his head is at the moment. I think it would be easier to get him to do Zest versus Apollo but if we DO vote out Zest Apollo is gonna be pissed and may turn on me. 

Flint

Well I botched another immunity challenge. That’s 3 for 3 now. No one has talked with me, and after my failed flip I’m getting paranoid I’m being voted out tonight. 

Apollo

Is Lysandre a politician? Do they think they’re Yul Kwon? Hell no! Because you’re about to get clockt in two rounds sweaty! I want them out so bad, I want them out now but I can’t.

Apollo

Idk if I’ve confessed since Marie Went  home but omg I can’t really complain about it, I’m not that mad! Lol. It’s upsetting the three amigos are still in but Marie was a bigger detriment to have in the game than Joey could ever be. I’m starting to consider working with Felix over Lysandre since I found out lysandre is in 5 alliances. And that’s more than I’m even in. BorisLysandre is amazing and i would die for them

Boris

So much is going ON. Marie was idoled out but i don't care bc I kinda wanted her gone anyway. Ive been at pride all weekend so I havent been able to be around much. Apollo is controlling as always. Lysandre and I are still a power couple. Felix is an icon. I forget flint and Joey exist sometimes. Brianna is ok. Zest is ok Jay had to threaten me to get me to confess so sorry this sucks lmao. Ill do better confessionals once pride weekend is over! LysandreSo it looks like the votes for Zest are coming in quite nicely and its going to be her. Apparently Apollo is sketched out by me and thinks I'm in the best position in the game... Ok??? You're right and all but ok??? You're too loud lmao

Felix

Alright so I hope the vote is Zest. Everyone is telling me that it is Zest or Flint. Apollo wants Flint gone. Everyone else wants Zest gone. It's a wild time. I'm just happy that neither my name nor Joey's name is being said during this round. It must mean we did something right this round to not be targeted as hard as we should be. Either way, I'll be here for another round unless I get idoled out, but that is unlikely to happen. Lys told me some interesting things today. Flint is heavily working with Brianna as a sort of duo that wants to make it to the end. This is interesting considering that Flint told me that he is the most distant with Brianna. I think Flint was lying to me, and he was just testing me with who I want out. If I had said the wrong name, then he would have begun targeting me this round. Luckily I already knew his relations with Brianna so I didn't say the wrong name. Though, that duo should be something to watch out for, though they are no present threat to me. This means that allegiances, the real ones, exist like this: Lys and I Joey and I Apollo and Zest Flint and Brianna Boris is the only one who I feel is an actual free agent in this game which puts him in a dangerous position for me. If he does decide to betray me, he can easily rally the votes against me. Though I need him at the present moment, so I cannot start targeting him. It is interesting to note however, I'm not going to stalk the idol hunt. It's too many outcomes for no rewards. Plus, I've already used three of them so I shouldn't have more. Good luck to me I guess.

Felix

Apollo is trying to vote out Flint which is still weird. He really seems to want to split the vote though which is super strange. I don't like how he is playing and I am just going to vote out Zest to keep myself safe this tribal council. Plus, she was totally @'ing me in the chat with her tribal answer which is fair enough, but that means the sooner she leaves the sooner I'll be safe.

Boris

Apollo thinks I'm still loyal to the f3 alliance of us and Zest but I personally like Felix and Lysandre more so uh oops. Felix and Lys want Zest out because shes simply just a loyal number to Apollo without any other game influence. And HONESTLY I agree so im voting Zest, but this is kinda cementing it to Apollo that im more loyal to others than him, so uh yeah Im scared !!

Flint

Tonight’s vote is a gesture to gain favor and trust back from Felix and Joey. I hate to vote for Zest but I need to prove my loyalty. But I think Felix has this game in the bag if he makes it to the end, which a lot of people are starting to realize. So it’s tough to balance a big move and lose Felix’s trust again or be considered a player that only rides Felix’s coattails and doesn’t play strategically. 

Felix

Apollo is going on and on about how Lys is secretly working the middle and that he's manipulating everyone. Let me be clear. It's obvious to me that this is what Lys is doing. I mean what else is he supposed to do? He has no Mea tribe members so he has to go and appease everyone on this tribe for a right to be in the game. Then there's Joey who believes Lys and Apollo are working together to take us both down which I don't believe. What I do believe is that Lys is putting his trust into me and is loyal to me. He's playing a fantastic game as of the moment, but I cannot get him out because he's a number for me. I need those numbers to take down Apollo. And then Boris. I just hope Lys does end up keeping me around because I'm placing a lot of trust in him.

Lysandre

So apparently there is a last minute scramble to trash my name on Apollos behalf. He revealed that I was in 5 alliances and is saying I'm a big ole threat since I was at the top of almost everyone's lists. I mean he's right but guess what baby boy I'm immune and your partner Zest soap is not. Lets see if you keep this same energy next round.

Brianna

Um so. I wake up from my 2 hour nap at 8:50 and now there’s a voting extension. Apollo told me he doesn’t know if people are voting Felix or flint. Flint tells me everyone’s name except Apollo’s was thrown out. And lysandre tells me they’re voting zest....I kind of...don’t know what’s going on....I wish Marie was here. She could’ve told me. So guess I’m voting? I don’t know. Felix? Might change in the next fifteen minutes 

joey g

So this round has been bonkers. I reached out to Lys and Felix because I needed to secure a trust going forward, but I’ve also reached out more to the Sumis as well. I really didnt want to vote zest, but felix is sorta running the show and I think that’s what Lyse wanted. Apparently its between Flint and Zest, but I cant say I feel comfortable at all

Brianna

Lysandre just told me apollo is targeting me...oop...

Brianna

Guess I’m trying to get zest out now! Lol 

Flint

I’ve heard that Tuai is using my name as a decoy which makes me really paranoid for tonight’s vote. I wish I had some security but that idol is so hard to find

[survivorinternational]

Episode 4 - "We get to form the narrative" - Patrick

I lost my two closest allies I am pissed. Vilma come home (Ginger too I guess). I do NOT trust Clash and Allan those people will backstab at moment's notice I am FUCKED

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So tribe split is 3-2-2. Logically if the 2 other tribes will work together and uh take us out. And uhh I have def been the biggest impression person. And uhh merge is decently soon so maybe they use that as a reason. My predictions have been correct so far but how about not this time? :) 

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Goal is to beat Vilma in the scavenger hunt

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hosts' mean making me doubt my life 

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I really want to make merge so I'll actually get my game on I guess. I'll throw Allan and Clash under the bus if I must. I'll do my best to befriend these people as part of my game because all other friendships are fake as we know. So far I'm trying to get with the aussie gang. Yanks will burn 

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I am slightly less mad about the swap now. But it's for personal reasons. Here are the power rankings of my new tribemates: - SluggyG - Stephen - Pat - Randy. Randy and I don't seem to click sadly.

Just like our tribe predicted there was a tribe swap and i ended up being in a tribe of 7 with 2 people from my previous tribe - Stephen and me. Having Stephen here is honestly great because although we didn't look like we were a pair in the old ala mai, we actually were and made a solid 2 man alliance before tribal council. I also told him about how Jacob and Michael were playing in the middle to gain some trust and so I believe we're tight. Every step from here on out is crucial to our game. We need to take out faatasi, there's two ala mai and two salaotoga (however u spell it), we just need to make sure we are together as a 4. 

I hate swaps, when zwooper did its first 40 person swap survival game, my social and strategic game at the first stage was perfect. I was aligned with everyone. Once the swap came all of my allies disappeared to the other tribe and I flopped BADLY ! 

FINALLY WAS PUT ON A TRIBE WITH VILMA! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE SURVIVOR GODS! hehe. anyway. for real though, love this new tribe. my analysis of each person: liana: of all my old tribe mates, I wanted to be with her the least. but it's fine I guess. she's nice, I'm just not close with her. if the tribe wants to vote her out I'd do it. vilma: amazing active queen goddess mOM she told me she's heard good things about me and was saying in her host chat that she wanted to be on a tribe with me this whole time and GIRL me too!!!!!!!! I want her to be my closest ally I adore her. she's also a great challenge help! I truly don't think we'll lose this scavenger hunt because we have some hard workers on our tribe like her ginger: very sweet!! I love her. I think we'll align. she mentioned how she liked how many girls were on this tribe and to that I say hell yeah - we love some girl power! she's somewhat of a weird texture but like a lot of emotion gets lost when typing? lots of people sound bland to me? but she's cute and been talking to me a lot today! I appreciate her tyler: I'm like low key scared of him for some reason I remember watching him in a game a while while back and he was like so mean?? so I'm hoping he's not mean anymore? or if he is mean that he isn't mean to ME like pls like me? but also he kinda gives off a I am scared of women and only like men vibe......... uh idk? jacob: okay I love him he's so sweet! interesting that he got the 1 vote from the ala mai tribal - kind of shows he's more or less in the bottom of the ala mai bunch so maybe I can infiltrate that and make him a good ally for me going forward! he said tribal was hard because everyone was pretty active and got along. so it seems he thinks the tribe is all big and happy - maybe he's not in any alliances? who knows michael: barely talked to him tbh. but idk how much I really like him? seemed really good in the w4 c9 challenge so ???? maybe he'll be good challenge help and someone to look out for at merge. I also feel like he and tyler would be good allies together. so yeah. that's just a hunch based off of their personalities overall: I have hope that my tribe won't flop and HOPEFULLY we will win these upcoming challenges!! and I'm going to pull my mother fucking weight so they know I'm good in challenges and that they should keep me if they don't want to go to tribal! I really really really do not think randy will do anything in the scavenger hunt LMAO like no tea no shade I don't think I remember him doing anything in mongolia and he's in four fucking games. also never goes out of his house. so it's like we're a tribe of seven vs a tribe of six? lmao let's hope!! 

God I am really not photogenetic, really don't like how I come off in videos but oh well what can you do. I used to struggle with my looks but honestly I really like how I look nowadays. Issue now is manerisms :/ Slowly but surely. Hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the psyche of Veni 

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I am going out with friends today to go all over town in search of hopefully doing really well in the scavenger hunt. I can do almost everything, the ones that are doubtful are all the DVDs, the book, the airplane and the sandcastle. I might build a sandcastle. I wanna build a sandcastle. 

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Man I really miss Vilma the more days pass. Some people are just a drag to talk to and now I can't share my determination for the challenge with anyone. It is disheartening 

Tribe Swap: Well It was bound to happen, at least I got swapped into a tribe with possibly my 2 closest allies in Tyler and Jacob. Vilma is also on this tribe, I'm thinking we might be able to use her as a target due to how strong she is in challenges and that we wouldn't want to take her to merge. I have spent some time cultivating new relations with Emily and Vilma, Chatted a little with Ginger and now trying to chat with Liana. Need to find out where votes are going. Immunity Challenge: Why are the big challenges like this when Im at work for most of the time. I can get most of these selfies and videos, unfortunately I wont be able to get to a Zoo, Beach or Airport for some of these points :( Flags apparently don't exist in South Australia either... WTF?!?! A bit concerned with amount of black spaces in out hunt, hopefully during the night it will pick up again. Time zones are making it difficult to chat with people, but I will continue to try :D 

So you would be thinking that with a tribe swap you'd have a breath of fresh air meeting new people and having challenges in a new environment, it's actually quite the opposite. In this challenge so far only 3 out of 7 people have pulled their weight which is why we're likely to head to tribal sooner than we think. Having NA people on your tribe is so different because I'm 12 hours ahead of them, I sleep when they wake up, they sleep when I wake up. 

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I must move forward with some sort of plan even though I'm trying to take it round at a time, Stephen and I aren't going anywhere. Originally I wanted Veni gone seeing he's a threat and could go back to OG Faatasi at the merge. But after thinking about it, he's a THREAT. He's the meat shield that I need to get further in this game - if I work with him, even at the merge, the target will be on him and all the heat will be of me (unless he wins immunity). EITHER WAY (dnnyys says that a lot) there are more pros keeping Veni around till merge - doing well in challenges, having someone to talk to, plus veni is also part of the old community Michael, Jacob and I are in so if we all make it to merge something may happen? That's a maybe but the idea is keep Veni and gain his trust and his loyalty. He seems fine taking out anyone who isn't contributing so we'll just do that for the timebeing.

I am really sweating right now hopefully my tribemates actually post points. If not hopefully they don't vote me out as a challenge threat and keep me around. 

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Pat is rising in my power rankigs. Seems like a really chill dude with a heart for trying stuff. 

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Allan and Clash are being kinda bad at talking to me. I want to stick with them but bleh. I don't know.. 

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Pat is my #1 in the power rankings

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Well I can't blame anyone specifically. And I got beat by 1 point by 2 differnet people. This is rather depressing.

This tribe is so much more inactive than Ala Mai... also we’re gonna lose this challenge. Sluggy says he wants to work with the US guys to take out the EU guys, but I’m thinking the opposite, for several reasons. First is the europeans timezone is closer to ours, so we have more time to talk. Another is the europeans are more active and social in general, and better in challenges. Finally.... I just don’t trust Sluggy, hes hard to read, he seems to be hard to work with cause he won’t let go of ideas :/ For now I’m gonna bide my time, see what develops, but if the opportunity to work with the europeans comes up Im definitely gonna consider it.

Um so this vote is gonna be real messy trust me I want to do sluggy but it might be Veni or randy and I honestly don’t know... I just hope whatever is done is done for the best and I stay safe 

Winning the challenge is great, but the lack of communication coming from Ginger and Liana is a little annoying. They seem to be very inactive, whereas Emily and Vilma are amazing. I actually like this tribe more than the original Ala Mai. I feel like Vilma and Emily were a good trade for Stephen and Sluggy. Sluggy and Stephen were great and reliable, but Vilma and Emily are more active and seem to have a much more bubbly personality. 

Things are looking alright this vote. I will have to betray someone either way so that sucks. I am bad @ Randy though for the 6 points. 

----------

I believe the current plan is, EU and AUS/Sluggy unite against Pat and Randy. In case of idol we split the votes 3-2-2. 3 being on Randy. 

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I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge

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So like genuinely I really like Pat Sluggy and Stephen more than the rest of tribe in terms of working together and such but like, the OG tribe lines are really bugging me. If I at some point vote out Allan or Clash then I lose potential trust from Ginger and Vilma maybe and definitely from Allan/Clash depending whoever goes. I want to tell Pat the alleged plan so I really hope it does not backfire. I am uncertain yet. 

So we expectedly lost the challenge and now we have to go to tribal. Stephen and I are in the middle of the OG Faatasi and OG Salotaoga (is that how you spell it?). Anyways my original plan was to go for the europeans because if we get small in numbers the europeans can as a force of 3 pick us off, but now because of what happened in the challenge and Randy's performance people like Stephen and Veni wanna vote Randy off. I've made my case to Stephen and it really comes to a cost benefit analysis for him and I and I'm honestly looking at it from a long term point of view, hope it pays off.

Getting bad vibes from the vote. I mean honestly as long as it's not me go nuts

----------

I am really struggling with what information to give to people

today i went to counseling then ate a biscuit for lunch. and i want to host a bachelorette org. nothing is happening in the game tho because guess what MY TRIBE WONNNNNNNN THE CHALLLLLLENGGGGEEEEEEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love this tribe because we can actually win things and people actually talk to me :-) also i shared my idol guesses with vilma & liana and they shared back. either way i think it’s already found. i just wanna find the spot that it’s at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just so i know know know for sure

This week has been very interesting. Coming with randy was exactly what I wanted so that I know I could trust my old tribemate and he’ll vote with me no problem. I just hosted a game with clash in it and we clicked instantly and both had the same excited energy when coming into this tribe and seeing each other. Me him and randy have all formed an alliance and then also have another alliance including Allan, whom I enjoy a lot, we’re planning an attack on veni/sluggy tonight because Veni is playing to hard too fast and it’s super obvious. He’s also super close with vilma (who I already perceived as a massive threat) and ginger. So voting out veni prevents Veni from going back to those two and telling them everything that happened. We get to form the narrative 

Okay so I have a lot to talk about and very little time to do so, let's get into it: So at the start of this week (after immunity) Us Europeans decided it would be a good idea to team up with the Australians and get Randy out. However, my first issue came up with Sluggy said he had to "check with Veni and Stephen". That immediately set off alarm bells with me because why would Sluggy have to check with Veni?? Then, Veni brings up some plan to split the votes in case of an idol. Splitting the votes seemed like the dumbest idea I'd heard of and everything started to sound suspicious af so Clash and I got together and decided to work with the Americans to make sure we would be safe. While we're doing all this, Veni makes about 4 alliances (All without me) promising final 2's and stuff. I'm honestly so done with him so we've all (hopefully) decided to vote him out. If I'm wrong then I guess my game is tanked but right now I feel good. 

So the name of this round is “Is Veni a Snakey-Snake?” The answer is yes. Clash tells me he has alliances with everyone, so we’re gonna vote him out. Gonna double check my facts first tho 

Hello this stupid european freak thinks he can outplay the greatest america player in history aka me so im just j chilling in this tribe when we swapped. and like this aussie sluggy rat comes to me and is like "american and aussies work together" and i said ok cool. and then i went on inactive mode because i didnt want to talk to anybody. then we had an immunity challenge and i didnt compete at all for it practically because i hated the challenge! but nobody else did stellar so it didnt matter. so we lost immunity, i get told real quick by pat and clash that the europeans want 3 votes on me while aussies do 2 votes on pat. we wanted to mix that up so originally we were going to vote together as 3 and just take Slugg out. But then we added Allan so we had four votes Then veni decides to heat up  his fucking crack pipe and take 4 hits before messaging me. Telling me things like "pats getting out, fix it" and "hey  i really trust you! hopefully you make merge". like stupid shady shit that doesnt look good so i g o to the alliance and i said vote veni out now we're about to go to tribal and we're going to see if the american brat gets his way. wish me luck

For those who think I wasted an idol I technically did but remember I just woke up to hear my name that Veni, my second closest ally in the tribe wants me gone and is rallying others to vote me off, so if Veni had Pat and Randy and got one more to flip I would have definitely gone home. It was definitely scary and I'm not afraid to admit I was scared and shaking in front of my computer, but I made up my mind about playing it since half an hour before tribal so. I guess now is the real test to see if I can make it further in the game without any sort of extra protection on my back, but Veni was a sneaky guy despite being not fluent in his speaking.

----------

Veni a huge threat is gone when I wanted to take him to the merge to use as a shield but that didn't work. That goes to show how important it is to make sure you're not playing hard in the first few parts of the game, but timing is really key in this game, and i gotta pick the right timing to strike and when to back off.

Woooohoo! We wonn!! I'm so happy to have a night off. I am loving this tribe switch and have liked everyone I have talked to so far. I think we just got the power tribe both with challenges and socially. Emily actually shared where she has searched for an idol with me so we could cover more ground. It makes me sus of maybe her and someone else working together on Saratoga. (although maybe they were all just social flops) I'm still really happy I found an idol on the first try because I feel like I look semi inactive (always working) so no one would suspect it would be me who has the idol. My plan is to maybe blame Ruthie? Idk i haven't thought it through yet, but she definitely seems like someone who would find an idol first. Anyway my lying has already started because I told Emily how frustrating it is to have so many combinations to make it seem like I don't have it.

Uhhhhh so we swapped. Immediately I was excited to be on a tribe with Emily, because I've heard she's super nice and people were absolutely right she really is!!!! I like everyone on my new tribe to be fair, but I'm kinda spooked because Ginger is the only og Faatasi who swapped with me and I've been performing fairly well in challenges so I'm scared I will be targeted fast if I end up going to tribal with these guys. I'm glad Ginger and I have a good relationship though, plus he is super social (unlike me) so hopefully he can help me in that regard and use his social skills to build new bonds. Obviously I'm trying my best to do that too but I'm not too convinced in my ability to succeed at that. It's just a lot. I'm too introverted all I wanna do is keep to myself and hide in my cave even though I know that's not smart. I've chatted some with everyone though and they all seem nice.... But yeah I could definitely step up my social game some. Emily and I have been sharing our idol guesses and Ginger told me he is becoming close with Tyler and Emily... We'll see how things develop from here. Personally I've enjoyed talking to Emily and Michael the most. Plus Michael seems to be quite a challenge threat as well, I'm hoping he would like to keep me in as his shield. That's what I'm gonna try to pitch for at least, if we ever end up in tribal. We won the scavenger hunt challenge which was neat because I love scavenger hunts. I went all out in the challenge ONCE AGAIN and tbh we need to talk about my threat level in a bit but first let's have a Moment of Silence for my NUMBER ONE ALLY VENI WHO GOT VOTED OUT ON FAATASI AND I'M VERY UPSETTI SPAHGETTI. :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( VENI ROBBED HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. I'm so shocked even Clash and Allan turned on him and I NEED SOME EXPLANATIONS. I'm dying to know what happened there. I really wonder if Faatasi threw the challenge to get rid of him, but Sluggy played his idol though, so he must have thought for real there was a chance he was going home tonight?? That's what confuses me. But it's cool to know he had the og Ala Mai idol and it confirmed my suspicions that it had already been claimed thanks to all the reward challenge clues they got. I wonder if it will be rehidden now though... Doesn't hurt to try and search anyway, I guess? But yeah let's talk about the fact how screwed I am if I ever go to tribal with this tribe. Veni going was definitely a reality check for me, and now I feel super uncertain about my own position in the game. For some reason everyone and their mother seems to think I'm a big threat and I guess it's mostly due to me performing well in challenges and that SUCKS. Because music videos and scavenger hunts happen to be my two favorite challenges and I simply don't know how to hold myself back when it comes to them. Dennis asking me the threat question at first tribal plus the judges hyping me up in the music video challenge definitely didn't help my case either ugh ily guys but I'm in TROUBLE. KAJSHDKAHF. But to be fair I've always done middle tier / poorly in flash game challenges, I feel like my challenge threat status isn't completely accurate. Most of the immunity challenges so far have been those kind where those who put in the most effort have been rewarded (Music videos, The 24 hour challenge, Scavenger hunt). I've done well in those because 1. I happen to love 66% of those challenges and 2. I have no life. But if we had skill- or luck-based challenges like flash games or puzzles I don't think I'd perform very well at those at all. Even Ginger told me I need to stop performing so well in challenges and I agree with him. But I'm just scared it might already be too late now. Also challenges are genuinely the part I enjoy the most in orgs, I hate the backstabbing and socializing, so it feels stupid to restrict myself from enjoying the game just to do better at it... Ugh. What an internal struggle. I hope the next challenge will be something I naturally suck at so I don't even have to think about it.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 2]

It’s a Nuzlocke! Standard rules apply, with one slightly less standard rule.

No grinding. No fights with anything but Trainers. Accidental deaths for the catch option of a route are permitted, but it can’t be intentional.

Part 2, start.

We stand outside Mt. Moon, staring out at Route 4. Where we have yet to catch anything for the box or our team. Where we have yet to see what horrors await. Our only allies in this are Heero and Allenby.

We continue!

If these guys are move tutors instead of trainers, I wasted my Escape Rope. I only had one. ...Yeah, these are the Mega Punch and Mega Kick guys, peddling moves that are too inaccurate to risk in a run like this.

I definitely wasted my Escape Rope.

The first wild pokemon I see is Spearow. We’ve already got that one.

The second wild pokemon I see is Spearow.

The third pokemon I see is Rattata. We’ve already got that one.

The fourth pokemon I see is a Spearow.

The fifth pokemon I see is a Rattata.

...What happens first, me finding something different, me looking up if there is something different, or me discontinuing this style of recounting events? Yes, the last one. I’m not cruel.

Hey, an Ekans!

I think... I need to throw a Poke Ball before attacking it. I think I’m overleveled enough that I could kill it. It’s level 6. Even my weakest attack has a risk. These kiddos have grown up fast.

Poke Ball is made of win, and Ekans’ name is now... Zek. He will go in the box. I think if he were a higher level, I would consider adding him, but... we’re pushing the army of one (two) thing so far.

Now things get awful.

I think I have to face my rival before I have access to more trainers.

Hn.

First out is his Pidgeotto. It’s level 17. I decided to have Heero out front for this, and good, because I would not want Allenby facing this. Oy. Let the Sand-Attack hell begin!

But Heero sweeps in with the burn! Pidgeotto down!

Aaaaand the Squirtle is next.

You’re up, Allenby. Allenby has an Oran Berry. Squirtle is level 18.

Allenby with the crit! Yes! Down with the evil Squirtle!

Heero out for the level 16 Abra. It knows Teleport. That appears to be all.

Allenby out again for the level 15 Rattata.

:P

Sooooo.

Misty is coming up.

Allenby x Nugget Bridge OTP?

She’s really my only option. Whatever I end up with in the next route, it won’t have enough trainers to grind into a position to fight Misty. Using Heero at all against Misty is a serious risk I don’t want to take. I don’t want to limit Heero’s exp intake entirely, because hey, guess who’s only using two pokemon at the moment, but. yeah.

...Yay, Allenby.

Of course.

One Scratch fells the level 10 Caterpie. Good start. The level 10 Weedle goes much the same way. Then it’s level 10 Metapod time. Level 10 Kakuna follows, as it does.

Lass Ali is next. She’s got a level 12 Pidgey. Heero can have the level 12 Oddish. Allenby’s back for the level 12 Bellsprout.

Youngster Timmy for no. 3. See, now this is a person who deserves a Sandshrew. A cursed, level 14 Sandshrew. Sigh. Then a level 14 Ekans.

Level 20!

Numero cuatro. Lass Reli. Male level 16 Nidoran. Plus female level 16 Nidoran. I feel like these are taking a dangerous slant up and I don’t think I like it.

Number Five! Oh wait, no, this one’s name is Camper Ethan. With a level 18 Mankey, lol.

Fury Swipes hits five times, and Allenby uses up her Oran Berry. Sigh. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll find another one eventually.

This is how winning a prize goes in every universe.

Level 15 Ekans. Begone. Heero gets to eat the level 15 Zubat.

Onward!

Hiker Franklin doesn’t have a turtle shell, but he does have a level 15 Machop. It helps Allenby to level 21, where she declines to learn Focus Energy. Franklin’s other pokemon is a level 15 Geodude. Fare thee well.

Next up is...

...wait.

DO YOU HAVE A RATTATA?

HE DOES.

IT IS LEVEL 15.

He also has a Spearow. I’m... going to hesitantly leave Allenby in, probably switching to Heero if the first hit goes badly. Yeah, okay, Allenby downs it in a hit. Nice.

Hiker Wayne has an Onix. It is level 17. I have an Allenby. The end result is obvious.

Youngster Dan is next with--a level 17 Slowpoke. Hm. Do not want. And yeah, it knows Confusion. Ugh. Um. Phew. Okay. Allenby lives and gains a level.

You know, one of the serious benefits of doing this through posts instead of videos is that no one has to put up with me walking to the Pokemon Center each time either of my pokemon takes a hit. It’s boring enough to do. I don’t want to think about how dull watching would be.

To mix things up I’m gonna catch my Route 25 thing.

How has every Nuzlocke I’ve seen of this gen ended up with a damn Abra.

-sigh- Yeah, it breaks out of the ball, so Route 25 is a dead route. Very sad.

Picknicker Kelsey wants us to know that her boyfriend is cool. Also that she wants to battle. She has a level 15 male Nidoran. Also a level 15 female Nidoran.

Route 24, feel like helping?

Squee!

You can be Noin!

Noin isn’t a box buddy. Noin is going to be part of the squad. Now to consider how best to level her. Because really, I don’t know. Her Type is helpful for the Gym, but. She’s a low level, and we don’t have many trainers between us and Misty. On the brightish side, Allenby’s growth is slowing, so switch training would dock her leveling much?

I’ll put Noin in front for one or two fights and see how it works. idk. The hardest part of this run for me is going to be figuring out what gets which piece of pie.

I’m not afraid of level 14 Rattatas anymore, buddy. Or level 14 Ekans.

Hiker--um. I missed the name. But he’s got a level 13 Geodude. That’s something Noin can do stuff about. She makes it to 13 herself! Hiker Nob, that’s his name. His thing seems to be having lots of level 13 Geodude. Then one level 13 Machop to round things out. Allenby can have that one.

Camper Flint needs us to know he’s a cool guy with a girlfriend. He has a level 14 Rattata. Noin’s level 14. What happens if I just let them fight? Bad things? Uh, not really, but it does have Hyper Fang, so for comfort’s sake, Allenby gets the last hit. She stays in to handle the level 14 Ekans.

Chad isn’t a real name. Level 14 Ekans means Allenby. Level 14 Sandshrew means Noin can play again. Leading to Noin being a beautiful level 15 kiddo.

Lass Haley might be our last trainer before we do Gym stuff. -gasp- She has an Oddish! In the interest of avoiding Absorb wars, Heero gets something to do, finally. She can also grab the level 13 Pidgey, but Noin is switching in for exp first. Same with the other level 13 Oddish.

I take it back. I think if I’d caught Noin sooner, it would have been worth my time to level her up. As it stands, this is my team pre-Gym.

Now let’s go fix Bill.

Bill is fixed.

To Misty!

First Swimmer (Luis) has a level 16 Horsea to start out. With trepidation, Noin, go forth. ...Noin gets a crit, and Noin hits level 16! A level 16 Shellder is next.

Icicle Spear isn’t fun. But Absorb got me my HP back. Eeeh, limiting the risk, let’s just put Allenby in to finish it off. And that’s the first trainer. Next up is Picknicker Diana.

With her level 19 Goldeen.

Oh fuck, it knows Peck, doesn’t it?

I think. Noin can take one hit. Then hit with Absorb, take it down a notch, switch to Allenby, who will also take a hit, and then finish it off. Without STAB, that should work out okay.

It uses Tail Whip.

Ooooh the regret already, but Noin, stay in one more round. It uses Tail Whip again. Okay, good, should be golden. Hee. Golden. Goldeen.

It misses Supersonic, and Allenby finishes it off.

The most stressful battle without any HP going down ever.

Noin grows to 17, Allenby hits 23. So. So so so.

I’m allowed to use guides, but I’m not at the point of being willing to look up pokemon and levels for significant fights. Obviously if this takes a few attempts, I’ll have my personal record of what everyone has, but that’s me experiencing it, not checking a guide.

Misty does have a Starmie. It does have Water Pulse. It will Confuse my pokemon. These are my memories. I think she also has a Staryu, but I’m drawing a blank on anything else. I have one Persim Berry. It can be held to cure confusion. Allenby, since Allenby will. likely be stuck with the Starmie, will carry the Persim Berry.

Noin will be in front, to gain whatever she can from this possible last stand.

I AM SCARED AND UNCOMFORTABLE.

Level 18 Staryu up first. Oki doki. Even better, it starts with Harden. Please don’t stop doing that please. ...Oh, okay. It uses Water Pulse. But it doesn’t confuse Noin! One more Absorb and the Staryu will even be gone!

Misty uses a Super Potion.

That’s fine, better here than on the Starmie, and it puts Noin back up at full health. The only thing I worry about is giving the Water Pulse more times to confuse.

Noin does it!

And it’s time for the Starmie.

To my horror.

I think it makes the most sense to have Noin stay in and try to poison it. Which sounds valid. Except poisoning it at this level takes PoisonPowder. Let me tell you my trust level. ...Additionally, the Starmie is level 21. Noin is a level 17 Oddish. She is very small.

Why did I do this to myself.

Holy shit ow. Noin gets taken down to 19 HP by Swift, and she needs to get out now. So time for the showdown. Allenby versus Starmie.

Allenby down to 13 from Water Pulse. Oh no.

Okay. So the name of the game is giving Allenby Potions while Poison does damage. I got. Four left.

lol at Water Pulse finally getting a confusion. After it doesn’t matter. How do I always end up wasting items with the best of intentions?

Look at this shit.

Look at it.

I’m going to cry.

I never want to do this again. Ow my heart.

I’m gonna use my winnings and buy Potions.

Time to fight the thieving Rocket Grunt who actually does something with his time. His level 17 Machop can go to Allenby. Heero, be a hero and take out the level 17 Drowzee.

I hate Hypnosis. I hate Cerulean. I hate everything about my choices that have led me here.

To Vermilion, where nothing will be better! Route 5 pick. Already have a Pidgey. Already have an Oddish. Still already have a Pidgey. Still already have an Oddish.

Meowth! I don’t have one of those! Caught! You can be Quatre!

Heero time. Against a level 16 Weedle. Allenby can take the next level 16 Weedle. Heero back in for the level 16 Caterpie.

Bug Catcher Elijah has a level 20 Butterfree. Because he’s a showoff. The showoff paralyzes Heero and seeks to confuse her. Oh my fucking gosh Heero please just move.

Heero you made me walk all the way back to Cerulean for healing. Heero.

Picknicker Isabelle has three pokemon. Level 16 Pidgey first. And second. And third. I have to switch out to Allenby because Heero’s accuracy is just that bad from Sand Attack. And the Pidgeys keep getting critical hits.

BACK TO CERULEAN.

Camper bringing the level 16 Spearow. And level 16 Raticate. Yes, I missed his name. No, I do not care.

This is not a useful item for this run. I will do no fishing unless it is with a Super Rod.

Picknicker Nancy! Watcha got? A level 16 Rattata. A level 16 Pikachu.

Camper Ricky is up next.

Camper Ricky.

Why the fuck do you have a level 20 Squirtle.

Noooiiiinnnn...

Route 6, let’s catch you a thing.

Have Oddish. Have Oddish. Have Meowth. Have Pidgey. Have Pidgey.

Screw it, this is a fishing or Surfing route when I finally get to that point. Route 11, what say you?

Drowzee. That works. Wu is your name now.

Youngster Eddie interrupts our walk back to Vermilion (which we finally got to) to fight us with a level 21 Ekans. ...Heero, stop getting fucking paralyzed, I beg of you. Heero. Please.

The one foregone conclusion of this gen.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Dugtrio?

That. Yeah, okay, sure.

Allenby, get in before Dig hits.

Caught. Your name can be... Ismail.

So here’s the question. Do I level up Diglett for Surge, or continue the way of maxing out trusted team members because I have limited experience to add up? I like Diglett, so Ismail gets to be on the team instead of the box, but I think really it makes the most sense to focus primarily on Heero and Allenby for now.

But I’m not exactly an expert on this. Speedrunner not found. So.

Idfk, Heero’s up front. Level 19 Sandshrew means Noin. Level 19 Zubat brings us back to Heero.

Next up is Gamer Jasper, and I would almost bet money that his title in the actual gen one games was Gambler. He’s got a level 18 Bellsprout. Also a level 18 Oddish. Food for Heero.

Following is Gamer Dirk. He has a level 18 Voltorb. Heero hits level 23! Dirk also has a level 18 Magnemite. But they’re Steel now, so no matter for the unstoppable Heero.

Gamer Darian, what you got? Level 18 Growlithe. See, this is where Ground Type could come in handy. But I remain meh. Actually, no, I’ll give Ismail the final hit. ...No, because Growlithe Roars out Ismail and drags out Allenby. Level 18 Vulpix next. Go Heero. ...Vulpix Roars, and then out comes Allenby. Sigh.

Level 18 male Nidoran. Ismail, want a shot? Oh well, this is Heero’s show for now. Even against the level 18 Nidorino. This whole section of the game is just begging you to use Dig. Well, I refuse.

Engineer Bernie in with the level 18 Magnemite. All two of them. Plus a level 18 Magneton. Thanks for the exp.

Engineer Braxton. How come so many people in this field share a role and the first letter of their name? Anyway, he has a level 21 Magnemite. Bringing Heero up to level 25.

Gamer Hugo. Breaking up the pattern with a Poliwag! Noin! Hugo’s also got a level 18 Horsea. Noin, congrats on having stuff to do.

Youngster Yasu. Geez, this makes me want to stop keeping record of all the trainers. When everything finally goes wrong, it’ll be helpful, but at the moment, yeesh. The youngster’s got a level 17 Rattata. Two of them, even. Followed by a Raticate that belongs to Allenby.

I think... am I finally done with all the trainers here? Huzzah!

Dun dun DUN.

Wait, crud, no. I have to go through Diglett’s Cave and out to see if anyone on that side wants to fight. One moment.

Uh oh.

Uh.

Uh. Crap.

Okay, I made it work. I caught the Diglett. It’s unusable, and I’ll release it as soon as I can, but no exp for anyone.

I only have a Great Ball in my bag, so I can’t do that again. Well I can. But. Ugh. Whatever, if it comes up, it comes up. I apparently need to buy Repels. All this and no trainers at the end. Geez. Back to the ship.

Fucker.

I used Scratch to try and injure another Diglett with Arena Trap, so I could use my Great Ball, and then Heero got a crit. 173 exp I was not supposed to get.

Oh no.

THIS FUCKING POKEMON AND ITS FUCKING ABILITY.

I am sad. ;-;

Heero lived, though.

And yay. Another Diglett we caught.

Made it back to Vermilion. The Digletts have been freed. Now I have to go buy poke balls. Because I’m out. Diglett, why. I like you. Why do you insist on me hating you with all my heart.

Anyway back to the boat.

Let’s. Let’s just. Stop here. For now.