#or somebun in this case

[artpigeons]

Tiny Achilles The Bunny update: he's stopped waking me up in the morning. In fact, some mornings he'll even stay half-asleep until I bring his breakfast. He's also stopped rushing over when I talk to him and seems to be taking things more at his own pace. Sometimes I'll even offer my hand for pets and he'll fuck right off!

He still gets restless and agitated in the evenings until I pick him up and just sit there and hug him for a bit, but in general I think it's progress? I think he's finally getting over whatever neglect he went through before he got to the shelter. He seems more confident that I'm not going to disappear the moment I stop touching him, and it's honestly heartwarming.

Vanus, meanwhile, no longer freaks out when I approach him while smelling like Achilles. Sweet little lad is totally used to The New Guy by now :)

[angeltism]

convincing myself I've been blocked by somebun bc apparently I don't have enough anxiety throughout the day already

[angeltism]

love how the universe rlly went "damn aqua uu have zero luck w love . uhh . take a 🌌"

[angeltism]

Honestly let me be salty for a moment oh my GOD some beings are sooo annoying and so fucking . how do I say this . I just KNOW how they put conventionally attractive beings or characters or both above those who are nawt conventionally attractive . Rant under the cut I'm angy

So what tf am I on about ? MY HUSBAND . THE WAY THE FANDOM HAS TREATED HIM I SWEAR TO GODDDDDD .

Blue-haired S1 Shi was treated so gross by so many and if I had a dollar every time I read somebun being ableist back then I'd have had a small fortune . I had chuckled at the crusty jokes a little , because I was young and hadn't read up about BFRBs (body-focused repetitive behaviors , such as compulsive hair ripping or in his case , skin picking) , skin conditions and was generally less mature but even then it felt odd how nobody really . . . Talked about him aside from that , and like , maybe one other topic I'll get to in a sec with minimal conversation about anything else !

Of course I perhaps wasn't looking at certain sides of the fandom , and I have no doubt a small group of beings genuinely liked him / talked about him and his backstory / wrote things that weren't just sexua.lization but the loud majority on this was like this , y'know ? It was all "haha crusty ewww stinky" n shit like that , or the occasional "degenerate gamer [insert pure sexua.lization here]" but I never recall seeing more than maybe a handful of genuine appreciation for him , or curiosity / concern for his backstory .

And then came white-hair Shi , which I suppose I could blame some of what I'm about to talk about on the fact this change also came with him having a big moment w Chis.aki , but when it happens to this scale I cannawt provide that much benefit of the doubt .

I suddenly saw so many more beings start loving him , and although I'm happy it led to others opening their eyes on a character whom I truly love it all felt weird . Out went the insults and disgust , and immediately came so much love . But I'm nawt even really sure if that's the right word .

With all this sudden positivity , a lot of writing or art or whatever containing certain themes suddenly popped up . Beings who would talk down about him now seemed to still find him disgusting , but in a way that could please them . I have no issue with writing works like that , however , being who's apparently actually reading this ?? , it feels a bit upsetting to watch others only like uur favorite character because they can write him as some kind of massive , violent pervert .

I don't know I'm just so salty because I've loved him since way , way before he had that redesign . I love how he looks with his white hair , and it's what he was always meant to have , but I can't help but always think about how it's a safe bet to believe that lots of those who have accounts full of only thirst for him and claim to be his fans were also probably throwing around insults and making fun of him for his hygiene a few years ago .

Also like . Insert that one post that goes if uu claim to be a fan of a character but only care about them when uu can sexu.alize them uu are nawt a fan of that character . Okay . That's all I just had to get this off my chest bc I genuinely care so much about this for no reason and need somewhere to put it lol .

[angeltism]

random 1am ramble under the cut

ykw maybe this is just 1am aqua thinking too hard but there really doesn't feel like there's a proportionate amount of resources for beings who's relationships ended because things just simply. didn't work. vs those who's relationships ended in some kind of hellfire torment situation.

like, example, there's so many songs of "I hate my ex I hope uu die ++ are never happy again I hope uur goldfish dies ++ everybun uu know leaves uu" or whatever.. but nawt rlly any, at least that I've found, that are just. "hey, I know we wanted this to work, but it didn't, and that's okay but I still feel kinda upset about this because even though neither of us did anything wrong this still sucks"

all the more somber songs I find are often from the pov of "uu hurt me but I miss uu despite uu being a horrible being" or "take me back take me back take me back take me back take m-" but like... all those who weren't actually hurt, but still don't want to return to their old relationship?

and maybe it's because it's less interesting. less dramatic. a song about violent heartbreak can also be broader, fit more people, because relationships do often end in lots of pain and hurt, but idk.

still feels weird whenever I'm trying to look at edgy quotes or listen to music to healthily deal with my emotions and none of it really fits, it's all too intense ++ emotional ++ full of spite or heartbreak I don't even. have? does this make sense?

and it's nawt like I'm expecting beings to write songs for my specific experiences, but idk, I've known a lot of beings who've also had relationships end because of things that were out of everybun involved's controls ++ they generally seem to agree w me on this??

and it doesn't even strictly apply to music, although that's what reminded me of this, but in general breakups and separations tend to get consistently portrayed as "somebun did something wrong" or "both beings involved were doing something wrong" when.. yes, that is the easiest way to end a relationship, it's nawt always the case?

like.. most of the advice online for how to deal w a breakup I've found is through the lens of having been wronged or hurt, but how am I supposed to follow that advice when... that isn't what happened? and I do suppose that it might be partially because in a situation where it kinda just. didn't work. uu can only really let time heal any emotional ouchies uu have, but still, like. some "cheer uurself up" advice that isn't "key uur ex's car" or "go make out w the nearest living thing to show uur ex on how much better uu are now that uu've broken up mwahahaha!!!!" please? idk give me ways 2 remember the good parts and cry a lil in a healthy way. shrugs.

is this literally anything or am I rambling about nothing at nearly 2am