#or rather i wanted to write about a character who struggles to say i love you outright bc hes afraid of the consequences
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bookcub · 3 months ago
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Cozy Fantasy and Why It Doesn't Work
I think I am among many who feel like they should love cozy fantasy and have found it an incredibly lacking genre.
This newly branded "cozy fantasy" genre that has taken readers by storm since 2020 and while it is new that books are now marketed as cozy, the genre itself isn't new. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a great example of the genre before it was labeled and also how to make it work.
Cozy fantasy is defined by many as fantasy with low stakes. Fantasy aesthetic but less sword fights. On paper, it sounds great. But the execution has been less than stellar for readers like me. The lack of physical stakes has also impacted the emotional stakes of these books, creating forgettable characters with boring problems. As a romance reader, I find this frustrating. Romance is known for being a predictable and formulaic genre, the now defunct Romance Writers of America defined romances as needing happy endings, a term romances have continued to follow. Yet these romance texts manage to have low physical stakes (how to date your neighbor, how to confront your toxic friends, etc) while still maintaining high personal stakes that keep readers invested and begging for more. So I was initially confused why cozy fantasy authors struggle to write texts that connect to readers like me.
I think I have found the answer which is the genre is just here for vibes. It is all about aesthetic, not even worldbuilding that fantasy is known for as most cozy fantasy I read have so many problems as soon as you ask one question. It is hard to acknowledge that a genre that is pitched to work for readers like me doesn't work for many of us. Especially because occasionally there is one that works beautifully to my taste.
I often say my favorite cozy fantasies that are more contemporary are short and visual, which I plays into the idea of the genre being an aesthetic. The Bakery Dragon by Devin Elle Kurtz is a good example because it is a simple story that is given the perfect amount of pages and gorgeous visuals without dragging on when the message is very clear and easy to understand. Books like The Phoenix Keeper and Legends and Lattes have absolutely nothing for me, their very clear message hitting the reader over and over so the readers don't miss it and focusing on the aesthetic of worldbuilding rather than the reality of the fantastic elements within the world.
I guess my point is. . . I realize this genre isn't for me since I have realized it is more of an aesthetic than anything. .. .but I want it to be. Should I let it go and put my efforts elsewhere? Or should I keep exploring this new trend and find the hidden gems?
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simplyreveries · 1 year ago
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I ADORE YOUR WRITING!!
what about a reader who’s unknowingly flirting with the twst wonderland cast (specifically savanclaw, octanaville and diasomnia) because of culture differences and species differences?
e.g petting their ears, giving them gifts, smiling with teeth (bc for moray eels that’s how they mate 👀)
OR fem reader who has her period and some of the twst students can smell it I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT THIS 😭😭😭😭
OMLL I APPRECIATE ITTT!!! sorry for the wait!!! i chose some from each dorm bc of my character limit btw!!
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azul ashengrotto
despite how much azul continues to do his best to learn about life on land… relationships are certainly difficult for him to understand sometimes considering how long he has spent his life in the sea and though there are many similarities between merpeople… there are still some differences. once azul is rather close to you he does become unintentionally— clingy with you. (when you two officially get together that's another story) but he has a habit of wanting to lean close to you or have a hand on you in some way, like on the small of your back when showing you something in the mostro lounge.
so needless to say, he is in love with any sort of touch from you he takes that as some sort of hope and sign that you reciprocate how he feels haha. jade and floyd tease him ALL the time about it especially when he was struggling to keep his cool-headed composure after you once gave him a hug after he did something to help you once.
like I've said azul really doesn't think about it or even try to be this way around you he just does aljdfajdkhf. he’ll feel like a smitten fool as he sits in the vip lounge as he's doing papers and just think about how you playfully linked your arm around his to bring him somewhere. small things like that are actually quite big to him when it comes down to the differences.
jade leech
he's aware you probably don't know that you're unknowingly flirting with him, but he finds it amusing and plays along with you, nevertheless. he thinks it's cute that you don't know and all the more enticing, you’ll find him chuckling, trying to hide his grin with his gloved hand “oh my, I didn't know you liked me that much fufu” he’d say. you can't help but feel confused as to what he finds so interesting… like you literally just yawned.
it'll take him a while to actually tell you what it means since he finds the obliviousness to be quite cute. you only put two and two together when he tells floyd about what you did right in front of him and the two laugh about it. now you've got floyd teasing u about it..
like azul he is a little more affectionate just in a different more. in a less obvious fashion, though there definitely have been a few occasions where he likes to bring your hand to his lips and see your reaction, he finds it so amusing. he always has his teethy grin plastered on his face.
leona kingscholar
he hates the way he can always tell when you're wearing cologne or perfume and he hates that he likes it as well, he may or may not be a bit addicted to your scent. he literally can tell if you're near just because he knows the damn fragrance you use.
if you two are particuarly close... like him falling asleep around you and such. if you happen to pet his head and his ears, he immediately shoots you this look then mumbles something before being too tired to do anything about it or give you some retort. he just lets it happen... he does enjoy it anyway. slowly he kinda doesnt realize how clingy he can get with you because of it. he becomes a little needy and wanting more attention from you. he cant help it.... i mean you basically just showed him that you're fine with it anyways.
leona seems to be someone who can get pretty possessive, unintentionally too over you. kind of territorial, like if you're someone he has eyes for then he doesn't expect others to really get in the way of that.
malleus draonica
malleus is not only a fae but a pretty sheltered one too, I’d think he’d take almost anything from you as a sign of you being completely infatuated with him as he is with you. you could offer split your ice cream or invite him out somewhere, show any sort of interest in him as he talks about gargoyles as he’s doing single club activities. the one time you asked curiously and wanted to touch his horns, he’d be searching for the loveliest jewel to bestow you for your wedding day.
speaking of jewels… he gifts to you a lot especially after you give him anything first (it could be a cool rock you found) and he’d be so smitten and glad to reciprocate that by giving you earrings, rings, necklaces etc. and when you accept them even though you're not exactly fully understanding why he takes it even more as a sign of you accepting his advances.
after taking any of your little acts of being somewhat kind to him and he’s already so deeply into you, lilia would certainly be someone who hears just all about it. i think he would only feel happy for malleus, as it appears he must’ve found the right one. he is just supportive of malleus and is simply overjoyed to know he has some little human that makes him so happy.
lilia vanrouge
he has lived long enough and in different places to understands human courting's and more so than someone like malleus. he knows how different it is, trust me he is fully aware, but he thinks it's amusing. lilia pretends to take it the wrong way and watch you get all confused, when he's just being playful.
just cant help that he finds it so adorable when you unknowingly show him affections as a fae would in his culture. even just being slightly affectionate with him is enough to have him giggling and warning you to be careful to what fae you do that to. they do tend to take very kindly towards any affections and gifts!
lilia will straight up tell you though too, you could gift him and give him something neat you found or made, and he'd look up at you with a stupid grin like "kfufu... i accept your love, dear" NO???. he still holds onto anything from you with the utmost joy.
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orchidbreezefc · 11 months ago
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ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.
161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.
imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.
maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.
on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.
and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"
if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?
when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.
also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?
it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.
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bucky-murdock-moans · 8 days ago
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on the portrayal of grief and depression in daredevil: born again
so I don't think it's a secret that I am so far loving the new daredevil show. I want to preface that it's also completely fine to not like it. but I like the different approaches, the darker tone focusing more on the emotions of the human soul rather than the physicality (for now, at least) and yes, I can't write this without praising charlie cox for his acting. bite me. just like with any other medium, movies and tv shows often have a set mould in which they portray grief and depression. they tell or show us how it's supposed to be, what we are supposed to feel, the characters say the same old lines... the new direction is a lot more heavy on the show-don't-tell side and as someone who had to face grief at a young age while completely abandoned, I feel very strongly about this and I don't want to step around it without praise.
foggy neslon is the closest thing matt has ever had to a family, and the show opens up with him being violently murdered and matt's biggest fear coming alive. someone he loves, someone innocent getting hurt as collateral damage.
I love and adore foggy nelson with all my being not just in the netflix show but in the comics too. elden did an incredible job bringing him to life and showing that potential in the character that is often underestimated in the comics, too. he gave us foggy nelson filled with endless love, kindness, compassion and someone who is incredibly smart - even in the comics, matt admits that himself is more of a master of great speeches and bravado in the courtroom, while foggy is the one with an immense well of knowledge not just about the law but about specific cases that could grant them leverage. as foggy himself pointed out in s3, everybody abandoned matt in his life. his mother left the family (yes, she had ppd, but she abandoned a child nonetheless), his father did his best to raise a kid as a single dad but ultimately, he chose his pride of not willing to lose over staying alive and actually raising his son. stick abandoned matt for a lot of reasons depending on whether you look into the comics or the show. and in s3, while struggling with her own grief and anger karen was considering abandoning matt too. which is a very human emotion to feel on her side, to be fair. as for foggy, that was not gonna happen. foggy nelson loved matt murdock undonditionally. that was the single most powerful, the most priceless thing he could ever give to him. and after his death, we jump a year ahead in time and a lot of people are complaining about bad pacing but please, I am begging you to believe me when I say this was a concious choice to not give us closure the same way matt is not giving himself a chance at closure.
we see a matt murdock who is in survival mode. he moved away from hells kitchen (a palce he never imagined he could abandon), he is now at a new firm, adapting to changes and as you watch him get ready before that court hearing, it is clear to see that he is simply going through the motions. this man is on autopilot. he wants to get the thing done for the sake of being able to say he did it, he finished that task, that chore of making breakfast, getting dressed... and then you see him reaching for foggy's prayer card and you immediately clock in on how worn the edges are. he puts it in a pocket above his heart. at the end of the day, he takes it out, and the next day, picking it up again. he doesn't put it in his wallet, or a pocket permanently to carry it around passively like you would do with a photograph. it is a concious choice that he makes every day to touch it, to handle it, to not allow himself to forgive or forget. he is depressed, he is not letting himself process his own grief and it goes to show just how great of an actor charlie is to convey all that in the posture, in the body language, the way matt seems to stop dead in his tracks when met with inconveniences (sitting down, slumped over when he larns fisk running for mayor while while he ignores the smoke detector for example). we also see him (as of episode 2) abandoning his faith which happens often when people go through intense trauma. especially if religion is a big part of your identity, it's a connection that gets damaged along with your self image. just another sign that goes to show what kind of impact foggy's death had over matt. bottom line is, I love how matt is portrayed with a more high functioning depression (where even karen thinks that he is "doing well" on the outside) while on the inside, he is absolutely falling apart. grief is an extremely complex human experience that never really goes away. it is a long, hard journey that is different for everyone. and yeah, I'm not happy foggy died. I wish he didn't have to. but you could not have picked a better catalyst for matt's life to fall into nothing. and I think in a twisted way it is the most beautiful legacy you can give to foggy. that he was so incredibly, undeniably, unimaginably important and loved.
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writing-for-marvel · 13 days ago
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In Situ
[He’s Hazardous To My Health Series]
Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Resident!Fem!Reader
< < PART 8 | Series Masterlist
In Situ - meaning in the natural position (ie. Bucky’s place next to you)
Summary: You ask Bucky to accompany you to the hospital's fundraising gala.
Warnings: strictly 18+, unprotected soft loving sex, creampie, graphic depiction of gunshot wounds & significant bleeding to a major character, a bit of angst as they struggle to reveal their feelings, will we finally get an ‘I love you’??, certain ex-fling of Bucky’s makes an appearance, this part has a bit of everything, fluff, angst, smut all rolled into one; I will apologise in advance you have every right to hate me given the ending of this
Word count: a whopping 10.3k (buckle up)
A/N: this part is dedicated to the wonderful @treatbuckywkisses and @yenzys-lucky-charm, I haven’t updated this series in so long and I genuinely thought no one would care about it being incomplete but you both have left such sweet comments on the other parts that inspired me to continue with my vision for paramedic!bucky, so I hope you both enjoy my darling friends 🩵 banners by @vase-of-lilies
Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library
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It’s the start of a very long shift when the person you least want to encounter, Dr Thor Odinson, approaches you with a glowering expression which looks like the most accurate embodiment of ‘I would rather be anywhere else’.
You would rather quite literally be in any other room of the hospital than in trauma room 2 right now, but as your direct superior, you have to constantly take direction from the same man who tried to compete with Bucky for your affection, and then blacklisted you at work after you turned him down.
“Before you say no to this, I need you to know this is a requirement of your employment here and you cannot get out of it, no matter how much you might want to.” Thor states with the same amount of joy as if he were inviting you to a funeral. His hands fidget almost unconsciously with a sealed envelope as he speaks, before offering it to you with a firm, outstretched hand. “Believe me, I’ve already tried.”
You consider him for a moment, his eyes not quite meeting your examining gaze and nervously grinding his back teeth. Taking the envelope, you notice your name written in messy, scrawled handwriting on the front.
“Not sure why I wouldn’t want to, whatever you’re inviting me to sounds like the absolute time of my life.” You jest in an effort to diffuse the tension between you. Thor, however, doesn’t seem to find it funny as rather than a chuckle, you elicit the most forced eye roll you’ve seen in a while.
“It’s a fundraising gala, mostly for the research labs associated with the hospital, but part of the proceeds go to supporting patients without healthcare who otherwise would not afford our help.”
Though the thought of contributing to those of the community who are less fortunate, and find themselves in the unfortunately common situation of being in debt to a healthcare system which was designed to further cripple the already vulnerable, the lack of enthusiasm Thor is conveying during the conversation makes you wary of what important information you’re likely missing about the event.
“You’re allowed to bring a plus one.” He adds with a rising inflection, almost as if it’s a question rather than a statement.
Silence falls between you two, and for a moment you fully believe Thor is waiting for you to confirm whether you will be bringing Bucky as your date, which would just make this uncomfortable encounter even more awkward, but thankfully he speaks again before you need to say anything.
“You’ll be representing the ED, and more importantly the hospital, at this event. You and whomever you bring better be on your best behaviour, I don’t want to have to write you up again.” A smirk curves on your face as he walks away. Although there is a finality to his voice in which you know you won’t get out of this work event, Thor has reminded you of the very public display of affection Bucky showed you in the emergency room which had earned you an official warning from hospital HR.
A formal gala, with Bucky dressed up in a suit and you in the most alluring dress in your closet, could be the perfect place to earn a second warning.
* * *
The night of the Gala, Bucky knocks on your front door, feeling rather uncomfortable in this taut suit with the unnatural feeling of the shoulder pads compressing against his already broad shoulders.
He tries adjusting them as he waits, he wants to look his absolute best for you, to rival even a fraction of the radiance he’s sure you will exude tonight. But they feel even more out of place now he’s fiddled with them and regrets the decision until he hears the pattering of your footsteps behind the door.
“You have to close your eyes before you come in.” You call out to him in a playful voice, without opening the door. “I’m not ready yet.”
Bucky’s positive that in any state of undress or stage in the process of getting ready you are the most beautiful girl in the entire world, but a warmth spreads through his chest at the notion you’re wanting to look your best for him.
“Okay darling, they’re closed.” He plays along, knowing that when it comes down to it, he would do anything you ask him without contest because it’s for you.
Bucky hears the lock click as it opens and a small giggle, before the light pressure of a pair of lips on his.
“No peeking.” You request as you take his hand and lead him inside. Bucky knows your place like the back of his hand already and doesn’t need his eyes open to know that you take him towards the couch. “I’ll be right back, don’t you go anywhere.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” With each beat of Bucky’s heart his anticipation of seeing you only grows. He’s seen you in every way imaginable, naked and writhing for him, vulnerable with sickness, beaming with pride and joy, and yet every time he sees you he is continually flawed by how stunning you are in every scenario.
“Buck, you can open them.”
Bucky is simply lost for words. Never in all his life has he been in the presence of someone so utterly breathtaking. Looking at you now, practically radiating golden light, a brilliant smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, and your body looking downright heavenly in a form fitting dress which compliments the colour of your eyes, Bucky believes angels do actually exist.
“You are so beautiful.” He manages to stammer out once he’s picked his jaw up off the floor.
“Not as handsome as you in this suit.” You grip the lapels of his jacket to pull him even closer to you, straightening his tie in an action that overwhelms Bucky with a need to kiss you.
“What, this old thing?” He attempts to brush off your flattery, because next to you, there is positively no way anyone could compete with your beauty.
Bucky gulps the excessive saliva pooling in his mouth as his eyes roam your frame once again, because he can’t help but literally drool over how stunning you look - can’t believe that he gets to be the one who walks into the gala tonight with you on his arm.
The only other time he has felt this utterly floored by someone’s appearance was the first time he laid eyes on you as you strolled across the ER on that now historic day when he could not believe someone in scrubs and a lab coat could look so breathtakingly beautiful.
“You are genuinely the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on.”
Bucky’s fearful that you won’t actually believe his statement, even though they are perhaps the most honest words that have ever left his lips. It’s no secret that before he met you, Bucky had enjoyed sleeping around - had entertained more than his fair share of attractive women in his bed, but after just one month officially as your boyfriend, becoming intimately familiar with your beautiful soul, he has zero doubts that you are the only woman he wants in that position for the remainder of his life.
You kiss him in the breath after he finishes speaking, in that luscious, sensual way that no one else has ever kissed him and evokes a warm, fuzzy, almost life-ruining devotion, dare he say love, in his chest.
“Let’s just stay here tonight.” Bucky mumbles against your lips, his hands finding the zipper on the back of your dress and slowly unzips to let the fabric fall from your décolletage.
He can feel you smile against his lips but then you bruise his heart by pulling away and saying “As much as I would prefer to spend the whole night naked here with you, I’ve already been told I cannot miss this event.”
However, they aren’t words which scare Bucky away from a challenge, he dives back into the kiss, the tip of his tongue tangling with yours. He thinks he has you convinced when your hands start playing with the hair at the nape of his neck - you know how much he likes it and do it constantly to turn him on, but then you pull back and Bucky sighs.
“You’re insatiable, aren’t you?”
“Only when it comes to you.” He responds with a chuckle. You’re the only woman who’s ever had him whipped before, and Bucky’s not sure you realise how powerful the hold you have over him is.
“I promise, all we have to do is last an hour at this thing, and then you can take me home and have your way with me.”
* * *
You walk into the Gala, which is already packed with hospital staff dressed to the nines, hand in hand with Bucky who, in your opinion, looks magnitudes more handsome than any of the other men all dressed in black suits.
You turn to him and he’s already looking at you with that sparkle in his eye, like you’re absolutely perfect, just as you are, and there is nothing about you he would ever dream of changing.
“What?” You ask when those twinkling eyes don’t look away, but instead study your features as if there’s words left unsaid on the tip of his tongue.
“Just imagining pulling you into one of the on-call rooms, tearing this dress off you and tasting every inch of you.” Bucky shifts his hand to rest on the small of your back, his breath warm against your ear sending a shiver down your spine.
“Well, we have done some of our best work in there.” Bucky hums in agreement, both of you taking a second to remember the first of many visits to the on-call room which left you with shaking legs, but was also the first time either of you acknowledged that your feelings were deeper than simply hooking up. “I think you need to grab us both a drink to quench that thirst of yours, James.”
You playfully slap his chest, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and then proceeding to rub your lipstick stain off, before pushing him along to get you a drink. He looks back at you as he walks away, almost bumping into the Chief of Surgery, apologising profusely with a guilty glance to you, before he shuffles off towards the bar.
While Bucky is busy with that task, you instead make your way over to the other side of the atrium to take a look at the items available for the hospital's silent auction. You have to chuckle to yourself looking at the prices listed on the bidding sheets - as if anyone with medical school debt could afford to pay for even one of the allusive holidays or artefacts they had obtained for the fundraiser.
But you suppose your job tonight isn’t to bid on the items themselves, but to shmooze the wealthy guests in attendance into bidding with their spare millions.
Searching out one of the items at the lower end of asking prices, you decide to put an almost embarrassing low bid on an all expenses paid weekend to Mexico, that you know someone will outbid you on, just to say you participated in the night without needing to lie through your teeth.
You stroll through the busy hall, keeping your eyes peeled for Bucky near the bar but it seems you’ve lost him in the packed crowd. It’s usually fairly easy to spot your tall, broad boyfriend, and your heart sinks a little that you’re forced to walk aimlessly around the event as everyone else is wrapped in conversation.
“Doctor, lovely to run into you like this.” You hear a voice you’ve heard before but cannot place from behind you. And though you can’t actually see their face, the tone of their voice contradicts their words - they don’t seem pleased to see you at all.
Turning around, a face that evokes prickly apprehension in your chest comes into view. She’s hauntingly beautiful, the type of beauty which artists spend hours trying to commit to canvas and which is just not attainable for regular people like yourself. She holds herself like she’s closing out a Victoria Secret fashion show and is fully aware of the enchanting effect she has on any man who sets eyes upon her.
“Jacqui… I didn’t know pharmacy staff were invited to this thing.” Even with her disagreeable inflection, you do your best to sound pleasant.
“Oh well you are when you’re heading up the department.” She boasts, with a little wobble of her head which you mostly think is to draw attention to her shiny, voluminous blonde hair.
So is she just here to rub her new job title in your face?
“Congratulations, I didn’t know you got promoted.” You try to sound genuine even though you really couldn’t give a shit.
“I saw you walk in with Barnes. Where did he scamper off to?” You are now actually very glad to not have found Bucky in the crowd earlier. Something about the way she is trying to control the curiosity in her voice, and that she was actively watching the two of you together, makes you cautious of her intentions.
“Not sure, I was just looking for him.”
There’s a long pause where both of you refuse to be the next one to speak. You just want this conversation to be over. But you aren’t that lucky.
“How long have you two been together now?” The inquiry is almost punctuated with sharp spite, and though you don’t want to indulge her line of questioning, there’s a voice in the back of your head that’s telling you you need to defend your Bucky from whatever she is implying.
“A couple months.” Is the defensive response you retort - it’s technically correct, though you’ve only been official for a month of that.
“Months… how much can someone really change in a couple of months? There’s so many of us around the hospital he’s fucked. You really think he’s loyal to you?” You recoil at her words, not having expected the conversation to turn into whatever this was becoming, nor so soon into your small talk.
Where the fuck was this coming from?
“I trust him implicitly.” You attempt to control the absolute bewildered facial expression that’s trying it’s very best to overtake your features.
“Oh you poor, naive thing.” She says with a tone you use when delivering bad news to patients' families. “Men don’t change, they just hide their true nature from you. Wait a few months, he’ll be back to his fuckboy ways, guys like him can’t resist cheating. I guarantee it.”
Most men are like that, at least in your experience. But Bucky has never given you any cause to believe he would treat you like that. Just because he had a reputation of casually sleeping around before meeting you, doesn’t mean once he’s in a relationship he’ll be unfaithful.
You can’t imagine the sweet man who walked into your place tonight with his eyes closed, waiting for your consent to see you fully dolled up in your gown and then proceed to call you the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on, would ever cheat on you.
“You don’t know him like I do and have no right to speak about him like that.” You state firmly with a small humph. If you weren’t at an event packed with your colleagues, you’d slap her.
The look in her eyes appears like you’ve challenged her, but you don’t want to think about the connotations of that right now. Without saying goodbye, you turn on your heel, needing to get as far away from her as quickly as possible.
Rippling anxiety bubbles in your chest that in your experience only Bucky’s touch can soothe. You frantically search for him in the sea of black suits, trying to also keep half an eye out for Jacqui so you don’t accidentally run into her, but he is again nowhere to be found.
Where the hell is Bucky? Your mind practically screams as you bump into a strapping chest, but this one unfortunately belongs to the one and only Thor Odinson.
God, could he have worse timing?
You plaster on your best smile, trying your best to keep a calm facade as he introduces you to two older gentlemen he appears to be chaperoning for the night.
As wealthy and influential as they are, having made their billions from a tech empire started with a little trust fund from their families' generational wealth, you can’t find it in you to care at the minute. You just want to find Bucky. Need him to hold you until the tornado of anxiety dissipates in your chest.
But Thor doesn’t allow you to slip away unnoticed, instead he prompts you to talk up the work the team does in the emergency room, speaking about the people you save from all walks of life, from those without health insurance to the affluent who can afford the life saving medical procedures others fail to receive.
Knowing their donations tonight could mean the difference between many getting life saving medicine and not, you summon the will to engage in conversation, trying to push down the acidic bile bubbling in your stomach that had risen as result of your interaction with Jacqui.
The sharp taste remains on your tongue as you’re now caught in philanthropic discussion, silently cursing Thor who stands beside you for ever inviting you to this damn gala in the first place.
It’s at least fifteen minutes later when you finally excuse yourself from their presence, the two men having pulled out their cheque books, much to Thor’s delight, preparing to make generous contributions that would have the hospital naming wards after them.
You hate to think what trouble Jacqui could get up to in that time frame. But you don’t have to wait long to find out.
Finally, after searching near the whole hall for Bucky you find him. Goddess like Jacqui by his side.
She stands there, supermodel tall, blonde bouncy hair, beautiful, toned legs on display through the slit in her dress, a flirty smirk curving on her face, tucking strands of loose hair behind her ears like a schoolgirl with a crush.
The nerve of her, approaching Bucky at all, but especially after the words spoken between you earlier.
Just seeing them together, the most exquisitely gorgeous woman flirting with the man whom you love and confirmed less than half an hour ago to her you are in a relationship with, makes your insides tightly twist with jealousy, as if someone were wringing out a wet towel.
Half of your mind is telling you to stalk over there and possessively claim your man in front of everybody, but the other half, the insecure side which believes Bucky could do so much better than you, who would want someone as beautiful as Jacqui by his side, and which is currently winning the battle in your mind, wants to run off crying into the furthest corner of the hospital.
Coming to a compromise, your brain instead decides that being frozen in place, unable to look away like an impending car crash, is the best place for you to be. But that is also pure torture.
Bucky smiles, not quite his signature cocky smirk that never leaves his face when the two of you are together, but it’s definitely a smile nonetheless and your heart sinks through the pit of your stomach.
Men don’t change. He’ll be back to his fuckboy ways.
You’re not sure why you’re letting Jacqui’s words penetrate your mind, burrow into the deepest crevices and allow them to make a home there. You suspect it’s because at one point in time Bucky thought she was desirable enough to take home and do unexplainably filthy things with. Does he still have that same attraction for her?
What if you are just Bucky’s practice run at being in a relationship, the one who fixes him up, teaches him all the valuable lessons, only for him to leave you and be the perfect partner to someone else?
Practically paralysed in place as you watch their interaction, it feels like your heart has stopped beating all together when Jacqui strokes his arm. But buoyant relief comes near milliseconds later when Bucky brushes her off. That’s your man.
You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you distinctly see him mouth the words ‘I have a girlfriend’, which relieves some of the tension in your tightly wound heart.
Bucky frantically searches around the room, and appears to have found what he is looking for as his eyes settle on your face.
There’s a split second where the whole world stands still, everyone at the gala other than the two of you disappear and it’s like you’re standing right in front of him, regardless of the space separating you.
But when your mind catches up to all the drowning emotions swirling in your chest, an uncontrollable sob bubbles up your throat and tears sting your eyes. You’re not even upset with him, but the fear of what Jacqui had been planning on trying with him still manifests as a choking lump in your throat.
The physical distance between you throughout tonight has let doubt and hesitancy creep into the only small space in your heart Bucky’s affection has not yet touched. Jacqui planted the seed and it’s already bloomed into a large tree, branches crowding space in your tightening chest.
The last thing you remember seeing is Bucky taking a large stride towards you, before your hands fly to cover your mouth and you take off, walking as quickly as you can in your heels, to where you know the nearest on-call room is.
* * *
Prickling panic fills Bucky’s lungs.
Has he inadvertently just ruined the best thing in his life?
Jacqueline’s voice calls his name as he chases after you, watching as you weave between guests and make your way to the nearest exit, which only takes you deeper into the hospital.
He was naive enough to think Jacqueline’s intentions were innocent when she approached him for conversation, just two colleagues catching up at an event that neither of them were fully participating in, but he was sadly mistaken.
He’ll never make that blunder again.
Watching you shuffle into the nearest on-call room, Bucky takes it as a positive sign that he’s not the one you’re upset with, at least not completely, when you don’t slam the door in his face but instead leave it open knowing he’ll follow you inside.
Bucky stays by the doorframe for a split second, watching as you work to steady your breathing, hands wiping the corners of your eyes, but the overwhelming urge and the need to comfort you wins out and he can’t help but hastily rush to your side.
“Darling…” He starts to say but when you look at him with big, wide eyes that are filled with tears, his mind goes blank and all he can think about is holding you.
You turn into his chest, face nuzzled into his lapel, and his arms instinctively close around you.
It’s the little sob which escapes your lips that does Bucky in completely. He hates to see you upset, but never in the months of knowing you has he been privy to this amount of genuine distress. He’s seen some not so great days, shaking frustration, even teary eyed with sadness, but never breaking down weeping.
He would move heaven and earth to ensure you never feel this way again.
He places a feather light kiss to your hairline whispering, “I’m right here. Nothing can hurt you.”
Though it was not his intention, his words provoke more sobs to escape your throat and Bucky pulls you ever closer. He’s practically holding up your entire body weight, and decides you’ll probably be much more comfortable on the bed this on-call room provides.
Even seated, you cling to him like he’s your lifeline, and Bucky can’t ever imagine letting go. He’d drown if it meant holding you safely out of the rough, relentless rapids currently flooding your mind.
As a paramedic, he’s so used to taking action, launching into a crisis with the equipment to be able to provide aid, to prevent further suffering. But right now all you need is his presence, to be the anchor grounding you to this world as a reminder that you have someone in your corner fighting for your happiness.
He hates not being able to do more for you.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Bucky asks after minutes of comforting you without words.
God, you feel so stupid. Crying at a work function because one of your boyfriend's ex-flings decided to flirt with him.
But it’s more than that - it’s the disrespect, the fact that she seems so entitled to Bucky’s affection simply because at some point in his history he slept with her, regardless of if she hurts you along the way to get to him. Do all the women at the hospital look at you like you’re an inconsequential ant they can step on to get what they want?
It doesn’t help that she's also the most stunning, physical personification of a man’s wet dream you’ve ever seen.
“It’s not you Buck, it’s her.”
He doesn’t answer immediately, just continues rubbing his large hand up and down your back, which tells you he’s confused by your statement. Perhaps you’re not making any sense in this outburst of emotion, you can barely keep your thoughts in a logical stream let alone expressing them eloquently.
“Jacqui, she… I told her we were together, she knew I was your girlfriend, and she still had the nerve to flirt with you.”
“I didn’t flirt back.” Bucky says defensively, and as much as you adore him, it’s making you frustrated having to spell it out for him how her actions have made you feel when your throat is aching from pure emotion.
You take a deep breath, allowing oxygen to diffuse into the deepest alveoli of your lungs, calming the constant stream of anxious thoughts, and letting you regain control of the tears falling from your eyes.
You lean your head on Bucky’s shoulder as he continues to rub your back. Why can’t the world just exist like this? Just the two of you in peaceful, quiet, solace. He kisses the top of your head and in that moment you know he’ll wait patiently, all night if that’s how long it takes, for you to explain how you’re feeling.
“I don’t know if it’s jealousy or insecurity. I genuinely don’t care how many women you were with before me Buck, it’s just a number, it doesn’t matter.” You sit up and look him in the eye, needing to convey just how vigorously you believe your statement. “It’s just… it's a soul crushing feeling that people in the hospital, people I have to work with every day, use the fact that you’ve slept with them to make me feel uncomfortable. That somehow because they know what you look like naked it diminishes our relationship and then they feel entitled to flirt with you and try and fuck you even though they know you’re dating me.”
The misery in Bucky’s eyes is almost tangible, and maybe it’s just an illusion from tears in your own, but seeing you hurting makes him start to cry too. His large hands engulf both of yours and his thumb strokes the backs of your hands resting comfortingly in your lap.
Previous partners have always brushed you off, gaslit you or raised their voice and called you crazy when you expressed an ounce of self-doubt or insecurity, but Bucky listens to each of your words with a determined focus, taking the weight of them on himself, as if they have just as much significance to him as they do to you.
“Darling, I’m so sorry Jaqueline made you feel that way. She had no right. But you need to know there is not a single woman on the face of this earth that could tempt me away from you, no matter how hard they try. No one has ever had me like you do.”
The panic beating of your heart starts to calm when Bucky places gentle kisses to your knuckles. His eyes brim with trepidation, as if he’s just realised how fragile relationships can be and he’s desperately trying to hold onto you, preventing you from ever letting go again.
“I can’t change my past, as much as I might want to, but all I know is you’re my future.” Tears trickle out of the corners of your eyes, but now the reason being due to happiness at Bucky’s sweet confession.
What did you ever do to deserve him?
“My life before I met you was dull, black and white reruns of the same shit each day. Since I met you, everything is in vivid colour. If I could go back in time and wait for you, I would. If I knew you were around the corner, there wouldn’t be any other women. But to me, you’re the only woman that matters. It’s so profoundly better with you because I-, because I care about you beyond comprehension. There were never any feelings with anyone else. You are the only person I have ever felt this way for. You have nothing to be insecure about or anyone to be jealous of, you’re the only woman in my eyes, and I-, you’re my everything.” For someone who constantly says he isn’t very good with words, Bucky always seems to know exactly what to say to make you fall even more in love with him. They are perfect words. Precisely what you need to hear from the man who has quickly become the reason for your being.
There’s a buoyancy in your chest as those familiar eyes, so blue you could drown in, examine your face for any non verbal cues of how you’ll react to his words.
“You really feel that way James?” You ready yourself, inadvertently grinding your teeth, waiting, hoping, wishing for him to say those three little words that will take your relationship to the next level.
But that hope pops like a bubble floating in the wind.
“Darling, I would never lie to you.” He punctuates with a kiss to your lips, slow and fervent, full of meaning. The look in his eye tells you he wants to reveal more, but it passes in a blink. “C’mon, let me take you home, and I’ll show you just how much I care.”
Bucky’s firm hold on your hand never leaves yours as he leads you back through the gala. You notice some glance at you, but all you’re focussed on is your boyfriend, his head held proudly high, not giving a damn what other hospital staff are whispering under their breaths.
* * *
Bucky slowly unzips the back of your dress, the material slowly falling away from your shoulders. A shiver runs down your spine as his lips kiss down the path of the zipper, starting between your shoulder blades, careful not to miss a single inch of skin as your dress bunches around your stomach and hips.
“You were the most beautiful woman there tonight. You’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world.” He whispers against your skin, in such a sure tone you can’t help but believe him. His hands roaming over the base of your spine before gently pulling your dress over your hips. “Can’t believe I got to be the man who walked in with you as my partner.”
Bucky turns you around to kiss you once you’re bare for him. The passion, zealousness of his lips feels like you’re drowning in a tender devotion he could not articulate with just words themselves.
You don’t need to break away from the kiss to push his jacket off, unbutton his shirt, nor unbuckle his belt. He’s as hard as a rock, standing at attention ready for you as soon as his trousers hit the floor.
“My darling girl…” He practically growls in your ear when you cup his balls with one hand as the other starts stroking him, using your thumb to spread the pearly bead of precum over his tip whilst placing kisses to his chest. “This will be a very short, one act play if you keep doing that.”
“I’ve barely touched you Buck.”
“Mmm, I know. That’s just how much you turn me on.” The signature smirk he shoots you turns your stomach to mush, and makes you feel like you’re the dazzling sun at the centre of his universe.
Bucky’s large hands pull you down on the bed, on top of him. He sits you on his thick thighs, tongue sweeping into your mouth, hands exploring your every curve.
You wish you could live in this moment forever, relishing in how much care Bucky holds you with, but still manages to make you feel like you’re the sexiest woman in the solar system.
It hits you square in the chest when his soothing, wide blue eyes look up at you with a familiar tenderness that gives life to butterflies in your stomach, that you would do anything for the man underneath you, the man you love.
“What do you want, darling?” Bucky asks between breaths as he sucks on your hard nipple, his tongue swirling, doing magical things that could make you cum just like this. “What do you need?” He adds, switching to your other breast, which makes it hard to control your stream of thoughts - but there is one thing at the forefront of your mind that you don’t have to consider to know you need desperately.
“You.”
He lets out a groan around your nipple and you suspect thrusts his hips up involuntarily, just to feel closer to you.
“I need you Buck.” You repeat, tucking your finger under his chin and bringing his lips up to tenderly touch yours, as the urge to kiss him overcomes you. If it were up to you, the remainder of your life would be spent with your lips locked with his.
“How?” His stubble scratches the tips of your fingers as you cup his face. The desire brimming in his eyes, the hunger to ravish every part of you, the yearning to have you so close to him you can’t tell where you end and he begins, leaves you breathless.
“Just like this, please.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but your imploring tone inspires Bucky on, not wanting to waste a single second more where the two of you are not joined.
Your forehead rests against his, his eyes boring into yours as he simultaneously uses one hand to assist you lifting yourself to hover over him, and the other to line his tip up to your dripping entrance.
An obscene sound from the back of your throat topples from your lips as you sink down on Bucky's cock. He doesn’t take his adoration filled eyes off you for a single second, even to blink, as he fills you up completely. A whine escapes his lips once you’re seated on his thighs, appreciating how your pussy is swallowing his entire, impressive length.
“You enjoy sitting on your throne?” You can tell he’s trying to tease, a mischievous twinkle in those deep blue eyes, but his voice quivers slightly, almost as if it’s strained, which you know him too well to realise is a dead giveaway for just how aroused he is.
How aroused he is by you.
That fact alone is enough for you to start grinding against him, hips moving back and forth, working up a rhythm that has you seeing stars and him groaning your name.
Both of his large, calloused hands are resting on your hips, helping you keep the tempo, making sure each rock of your hips results in your clit being stimulated against his pelvis. His lips find your collarbone, teeth scraping your delicate skin, the sensation of which clears your mind of any coherent teasing response you could have come up with.
“Fuck, look at you fucking yourself on me. You’re a fucking dream.” Bucky’s mouth is one of the most arousing parts of him, not only for what his lips and tongue can do to your body but also for the salacious words he speaks in that gravelly tone which turns you on just as much as his body does. “That’s it, fuck me darling, this cock is all yours.”
“Buck you’re so deep.” Is all you can think, all you can feel is how his length is nestled within you, how much he fills you up. You’re bursting because of how satiated you feel with him inside you, but Bucky’s musky, woody scent, as well as his warm, tender touch surrounds you from the outside, you feel like he’s everywhere all at once, and it brings you right to the brink of coming undone.
“Be a good girl and cum for me.” In this moment you want to give him everything you have, give him everything he’s asking for and more. His voice is gentle the next time he speaks, a murmur just for you, and matches the softness in his gaze. “It’s okay, I got you. Let go for me.”
Bucky sucks the pulse point on the side of your throat and it’s the complete end of you. You shudder, feeling safe caged in his arms as ecstasy fires up from the base of your spine through every neuron in your body, your toes curling, fingers scratching down Bucky's back - you can even taste it on the tip of your tongue as you scream his name.
Your legs shake uncontrollably, unable to continue your pattern of movement grinding down against him, but Bucky takes matters into his own hands by wrapping his arms around your waist and fucking up into you to prolong your high.
Once you’ve finally stopped seeing stars, your vision coming back into focus, all you can see is the adoration, pure captivation as he looks up at your sweaty form trying to catch your breath.
“That’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.”
No one’s ever looked at you like this before, as if you’re the only girl in the world, the only person that matters to them, the one who holds their fragile heart in the palm of your hands and trusts you not to break it.
A dangerous thought flashes through your mind - do you dare tell Bucky that you love him for the first time right now, in the middle of the throes of passion. You have always wanted to let him set the pace of the relationship - he was the one who wanted to take it slow, not rushing into anything, but you can tell by the blooming warmth spreading through your chest, you have never loved someone more than you love him right now.
Bucky reaches up and affectionately brushes his thumb over the apple of your cheek, and before you can think twice about if you truly want to confess your devotion in this moment, he’s kissing you again.
Before you can even recognise what he’s doing, his toned arms have engulfed you in a tight embrace, and without pulling out of you, he flips you onto your back, making sure your head rests gently on one of your pillows. His body weight presses you deliciously into the mattress, it feels like being tucked in securely with a weighted blanket that just so happens to look like a Greek god.
“Need to feel you cum on my cock again, it’s so fucking addicting.” Bucky practically growls in your ear, his breathing heavy. His long chestnut hair falls into his eyes, but it doesn’t prevent him from gazing at you with a tangible combination of awe and lust.
The thrust of his hips is downright sinful. You feel the longing absence of each inch of him as he pulls out, only for him to split you apart again as his hips snap forward. Bucky starts out slow, his fingers intertwine with yours, forcing your hands above your head, but when he starts placing open mouthed kisses on the underside of your jaw, his strokes pick up momentum.
James Barnes has you in a trance, caged in by the sheer size of him, each languid, sensual thrust into you tightens the knot twisting into shape at the bottom of your belly.
He’s so breathtakingly beautiful, the most gorgeous person you’ve ever laid eyes on. As his shining pupils fixate on the pleasure contorting your face you ponder if he is possibly thinking the exact same way about you.
The moans dripping from his lips, mixed with grunted curses, along with the telltale crease in his forehead, and the fact that his teasing mouth can’t come up with anything coherent is evidence of how close he is. But you know Bucky’s generous heart better than anyone, perhaps even himself, and you are sure he’ll be determined not to cum before you.
One of his large hands continues to pin your wrists down as the other moves to wrap your legs tighter around his waist. Then he has the fucking audacity to rub the pads of his fingers over your clit in tight circles. You’re so done for.
“Bucky, oh fuck… yes, just like that.” You manage to stammer out, barely able to move with his weight pinning you beneath him, knowing your body is hurtling towards an inescapable, forceful orgasm, and all you can do is feel as Bucky plays your body like a fiddle.
“Please, need you to… I can’t last like this.” You can feel the desperate, animalistic timbre of his deep voice in your chest and his hot breath against your neck. “Darling please.”
And then you shatter.
Fracture into a million pieces, the fabric of reality tearing apart at the seams around you as euphoria flows through you like wind on the surface of water. Every single cell in your body feels like it’s been lit on fire, burning bright like a shooting star soaring through a galaxy assembled by your love for him.
Bucky speaks your name as a prayer, a vow, a promise. Over and over again. A reminder that you are who he is coming apart for.
It almost makes you dizzy how lost he is in the feel of you, how his hands spread you open as far as your legs will flex, but then you hear the wanton whimper as he spills his orgasm inside you and it’s almost enough to make you cum again.
As your heart rates slowly return to normal, Bucky lays down beside you, cupping your face tenderly as his tongue slips once again into your mouth. You would have thought given the display of passion just produced he’d have had his fill of physical affection, but he continues to surprise you.
Who would have guessed that Bucky ‘doesn’t go on second dates’ Barnes would now be clinging to you like a koala, not being able to get enough of your touch.
* * *
“Sweet dreams Buck.” You whisper in that tired, yet sickly sweet tone that Bucky associates with the contentment of falling asleep beside you.
”They’ll all be about you.” He responds with a delicate kiss to your forehead, fingers tracing gentle lines up and down the expanse of your back.
“Then I wish you nothing but dirty dreams.”
He rarely dreams of anything else nowadays, but it makes him smile nevertheless that your minds think in such similar ways.
You really are the girl of his dreams.
Even more than that, if there was an expression which captured just how significant you had become intertwined in his life after a relatively short period of time. His brain could not have concocted someone as perfect as you, even in his wildest fantasies.
He holds you close to him in the total darkness as your breathing slows, but there are too many thoughts racing through Bucky’s brain for him to fall asleep.
Tonight was perfect. Complete, utter perfection. Not that he expects any less of a night spent with you.
So why, even after building the courage all week ahead of the gala, (and if he was honest with himself, since the week he swapped to be on the night shift with you), had he yet to utter those three magic words?
Steve would say there was one final wall around Bucky’s heart he had yet to pull down for you, to reveal his deepest darkest vulnerability that he could barely admit to himself, let alone the flawless woman who consumed his every waking thought.
The insecurity he had been plagued with since he was fourteen years old and his father had wished death upon him.
The fear that he is innately unloveable.
Just because he loves you in a way that influences his every decision, impacts every aspect of his existence, and alters the chemistry of his brain, doesn’t mean you are as hauntingly consumed by devotion as he is.
And even though the rational part of his brain tries reminding him you would not have shown such patience and stuck around as he clumsily attempted to manoeuvre being in a relationship for the first time if you truly did not want to be with him, that nagging insecurity is always at the back of his mind like a fog that won’t clear, doubting whether after everything he has endured, if he is deserving of being loved the same way he adores you.
But at some point Bucky knows he needs to find the bravery to take that leap, even if your possible rejection would be his ultimate downfall.
“Darling?” Bucky whispers as quietly as he can into the still night air. You don’t stir, nor do you respond, which is exactly what he’s hoping for. “Darling, are you awake?” He questions slightly louder so that you couldn’t help but hear him considering his proximity.
You continue to rest peacefully, lips slightly parted and breathing steadily, which is precisely how you always appear when sleeping beside him, but given the gravity of what he is about to reveal to you, Bucky has to be absolutely positive you’re in a deep slumber.
“Chicken butt.” He says randomly, hoping that if you are feigning sleep this will cause a crack in your rather convincing facade. But to his delight, your expression doesn’t change in the slightest, no muscle in your face so much as flinches, and Bucky is finally convinced.
He takes a deep breath, readying himself even though he knows you’re unable to hear him.
“I love you.” Bucky confesses with a shaky breath, even though he is assured in his affection. Though you’re not conscious to receive his words, something about disclosing his most closely guarded secret to your beautiful face, finally admitting his profound feelings aloud, feels like an enormous step for him. Never in a million years did he think he could open his heart up far enough to allow space for these types of feelings to nestle within. “You are the most precious thing in my life. I’m never going to compromise what we have, never going to take you for granted. I’m going to love you and only you for every day I have left in this life and even when I’m no longer here, my soul will forever be yours.”
You provide no response, features stay perfectly still, breathing rate doesn’t change. Which is of course exactly the reaction he’s hoping for while you rest, but he can’t stop his mind from wondering what your reply might be if you were awake; if you’d profess the words back to him, or if instead you’d recoil, shying away possibly because Bucky was moving too quickly.
Nevertheless, Bucky knows better than most that life can be painfully short, everyone has their expiration date, and you need to tell the people in your life how much you care about them before it’s too late.
“I love you.” He repeats with a smile and a kiss to your bare shoulder. Though he is navigating the all consuming, anxiety riddled, life ruining feeling of falling in love for the first time, Bucky knows with absolute certainty that he would go through it all again, one hundred times over, if it meant getting to spend his life with you.
But now for the difficult part - he has to say those three life changing words when you’re actually awake to hear them.
* * *
When the irritating ringing of your alarm wakes you up the following morning, a wave of disappointment washes over you. The night before with Bucky had been nothing short of memorable; complete with overflowing emotion, devotion, and no hint of apprehension from the man who had previously told you himself he wanted to take the relationship slow.
It was the most tangible display of pure love you have ever beheld.
But now, you lay alone in a web of cold sheets, Bucky’s place beside you unnaturally empty. When he has an early shift, typically he wakes you before he leaves, and at the very least gives you a kiss on the forehead, if not a much more intimate show of affection. But today, you have no recollection of being woken, no memory of his pillow soft lips on yours.
You find it takes a much more determined effort to get out of bed without an energising kiss from your Bucky.
The gala is the talk of the hospital, those who did not receive an invite interrogating everyone who attended for all the latest gossip. You hear your and Bucky’s names dropped a couple times in passing conversation, but all that does is remind you of the night before, and Bucky proclaiming his devotion to you while extracting a pleasure from your body no one else has been able to produce.
Tonight, you promise yourself, those three small words that have been tugging at your mind for the last month, tonight you’ll tell Bucky.
His declaration of wanting to take your relationship slowly was all the way back before your second date, before you officially became his girlfriend, before you held him as his mother underwent life saving surgery, before you knew of his traumatic past, before he switched to the night shift just so he could see you more often, before last night where he told you you are his everything.
Regardless of if he says the words back, you need to tell him. Need him to know that he is the love of your life, that synapses in your brain have reformed so your train of thought always comes back to him, that he has rewritten the molecular code inscribed in your cells so that they crave him like water, drawing him in like osmosis.
Your thoughts are interrupted by your pager going off, calling an all hands on deck emergency.
The ER is a frenzy of nurses clearing trauma rooms, doctors discharging patients who have already been seen to and Dr Strange shouting at surgical staff to prepare the operating rooms.
“There was a shooting at the mall. Police and paramedics are on scene, but it sounds bad.” Wanda fills you in as you both wash your hands and put gloves on, getting ready for the volume of blood and carnage that comes with gunshot wounds.
Dr Strange gathers the emergency medicine team together to brief you all on what you’re about to face. His face is stoic, having treated too many disasters to even seem phased by the decimation of so many lives.
You have not mastered that, but you also like having your humanity, caring about people is what you do best.
“So far we know of eight victims being routed here. There will most likely be more. All G.S.Ws, five women, two men and a child, about eight. One of the men was a paramedic on scene.” The last sentence out of his mouth gives you pause.
A male paramedic was shot.
“A paramedic? Did they say who? Give a description?” All eyes turn to you and no one needs to say it aloud to know exactly what you’re thinking.
“No, that’s all the information we have at this time. They should only be a few minutes out.” You’ve never known Dr Strange to be very sympathetic, but the look he shoots at you is what you assume to be the most compassion he is capable of.
The nagging part of your brain that always finds a route to the most devastating scenario, no matter how unlikely, is screaming so loudly you cannot ignore it.
What if that paramedic is Bucky?
There would have to be thousands of paramedics in a city of this size, what would the chances actually be that Bucky is the one paramedic in critical danger at this very moment.
But the universe has always found a way to be cruel to you, with the exception of when it brought devilishly handsome Bucky Barnes into your life. But what could be more cruel than introducing you to unconditional love and then destroying your heart by taking it away just as swiftly?
Wanda, sensing your paralysing worry beside her, comfortingly strokes her hand up and down your upper arm. “He was working the morning shift today, his shift will be well and truly over. He shouldn’t have been working when the shooting happened.”
“Yeah… he was on morning shift today.” Reminding yourself how you woke up in bed alone. Your lips tremble as you attempt to talk yourself down from the ledge of sheer panic. But your best friend can tell this fact doesn’t convince you.
“Call him.” Wanda instructs with a level voice, only a small glisten in her pupils gives away that she too is worried for his safety.
Your hands are shaking uncontrollably as you locate his contact in your favourites, accidentally dialling your mum first before you see the picture you have of the two of you together set as his contact pop up as it starts ringing.
Time stands perfectly still, the bustling hospital which is always full of movement, the constant beeping of patients pulse oximeters, announcements sounding over the PA, it all goes dead silent and all you hear is the ring tone of a phone call which Bucky isn’t answering.
Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
It goes to voicemail, his voice filling your ears but it’s of no relief because it’s only a recording.
You press his contact again.
And again.
And again.
The fourth time you’re forced to listen to his infuriating voicemail, you leave a panicked message. “Bucky I’m so worried about you, please ring me back as soon as you get this. There’s been a shooting. Please, I need to hear your voice, hear that you’re alright. Please.”
You thought he’d pick up the phone and relieve you from this torment, but now knowing he hasn’t answered after multiple calls, you’re more convinced than ever it’s him that’s been shot.
“Wanda if it’s-”
“You can’t think like that.” But that's all you can think about. Your job, the duty you have to these patients who are en route to the hospital, none of that comes close to the need to know Bucky is unharmed.
The world starts moving in slow motion as the first of the patients arrives. Time runs like molasses, but the anxiety in your chest turns up one hundred fold, as if flashes of lightning strike your chest one after another.
A woman gets pushed in on a gurney, light brown hair stained with blood, and even from the sight of how the paramedic needs to hold her skull flap to her head to prevent her brain being exposed, you know she won’t make it as much as the surgeons will try to save her.
There’s a child, not much bigger than Sasha who you treated the day you first met Bucky, that gets pushed through next. In complete juxtaposition, she’s sitting up talking to paramedics, arm in a sling, but mostly looks unharmed.
And then you see it. The thing that flatlines your heart.
Chestnut hair and an EMT uniform.
You’d know those thick, wavy locks anywhere.
“Bucky!” You don’t even recognise your own voice with how much terror it is consumed with. This can’t be happening. This can’t be real.
In a flash you’re by his side, keeping pace as they wheel him deeper into the hospital, your lungs and throat scorching with distress.
You try not to break down seeing the sheer amount of blood, Bucky’s blood, soaking the gauze they are pressing into his shoulder wound, how pale and fragile he looks strapped down to the gurney. You’re an emergency medicine doctor, you’ve treated wounds like this before, confronted much more blood than this from a patient. But nothing in your training prepares you for observing your soulmate barely clinging to life, their claret staining your gloved fingers as you help maintain pressure, how cold his skin is to the touch, how his face looks almost serene even though these could be his final moments on earth, that he could be abandoning you for the warm embrace of death.
Not your Bucky. They can’t take your Bucky.
“Buck, can you hear me?” Your hand cups his cheek, and he’s as cold as ice. His eyes are shut so he can’t even look at you to give you one last chance to memorise the astonishingly blue irises which have been your source of solace since meeting him.
A mask covers his mouth and nose, delivering rescue breaths. You try to place a block in your mind to stop it from retrieving the medical knowledge you have spent years memorising - you don’t want to know how catastrophic a situation his body must be in to be needing rescue breaths.
“I love you, James. You hear me? I love you!” It almost ends your existence when he doesn’t answer, doesn’t even so much as flinch at your confession. You hope any part of him that is still alive inside the casing of his cold body manages to hear those words.
Dr Strange and Wanda have to physically restrain you from following the team treating Bucky and prevent you entering the operating theatre.
Dr Strange’s voice sounds like a hum, too far away to make sense of even though he’s pushing you away from the OR. All you’re focussed on is keeping your eyes on Bucky for as long as you can.
Is this the last time you will ever see him alive?
It’s only once he is out of sight, that your brain starts to catch up to the realisation of what has actually happened.
Bucky was shot. A bullet ripped through his skin, tearing muscle and fascia, lacerating his organs, possibly fatally wounding him.
Bullets are designed to kill. To end the life of the organism the gun barrel is aimed at. There is no mercy from a gunshot wound, you had seen too many to believe better.
A guttural cry forces its way out of your parched windpipe without you being able to prevent it, your kneecaps sting as you fall to the ground. Hot, large tears cascade onto your cheeks as Wanda’s arms engulf you.
Any second now, James Buchanan Barnes’ heart could be taking its final beat and you wouldn’t be any wiser. His lungs would stop breathing, preventing oxygen from binding to hemoglobin in his blood and reaching his brain. Everything else would shut down quickly from there.
One second he’d be here and the next he wouldn’t.
James Barnes simply wouldn’t exist anymore.
You had seen it too often, heard from bereaved family members time and time again how quickly it had all happened, but it wasn’t until this very moment that you understood the magnitude of that sentiment.
How could he go from telling you yesterday night that you were the most beautiful sight he had ever laid eyes on to now possibly his cold, lifeless body laying on an operating table with his soul having crossed over to the afterlife?
You’d never hear his voice again. Or his laugh.
Never see his dazzling sapphire eyes as they regard you with overwhelming affection.
Never feel that warm rapture blooming in your chest when he’d proclaim himself as yours and kiss you in the same breath.
He’ll never get to know you love him.
It feels as though you are tumbling wildly down into an abyss, waiting for the inevitable crash at the bottom that would either end this eternal suffering or that sudden jerk, the lurch as you wake up from this cruel nightmare.
Neither comes. You are fated to live in excruciating limbo, your lungs burning, as if you can’t take a breath until Bucky’s destiny has been sealed.
Oxygen would be the gift you’d allow yourself once your love was awake and talking again; cracking stupid jokes with his signature cocky smirk and flirting with you like you were on your first date again.
And if he were to pass into the next life, taking your heart with him, then you would simply refuse to take another breath until you were reunited with him once again.
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Part 10 coming soon
Be added to the series taglist here
He’s Hazardous To My Health [Paramedic!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @lavenderpenumbra @crazyunsexycool @eralen @buckbuckyoongs @blackwidownat2814 @crayongirl-linz @ozwriterchick @desert-fern @misshale21 @chalesleclerc164 @rookthorne @janineb86 @emmabarnes @scarletbich @princezzjasmine @thebuckybarnesvault @doasyoudesireandlive @solitarioslilium @iamfandomwasted @tanyaspartak @pop-rocks-818 @Dumdidditydumdoo @missvelvetsstuff @kayden666 @amiimar @katheryn1 @safew0rd @kentokaze @thewackywriter @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @badasswlthafatass @loveoldmenlikelana @00cmh @pointless-girl @honeyglee @nerdxacid @ashhsage @prettylittlepluviophile @otomefromtheheart @sjsmith56 @mandijo17 @lokidokieokie @oceansandblackhearts @rebeccapineapple @soorwellystan @excusememrbarnes @lofaewrites @snapcapquartet @wishingwell-2 @aya-fay @lowkeysebby @redbarn1995 @lex-is-up-all-night-to-get-bucky
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vellichxrr6782 · 8 months ago
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please please please write alhaitham being WHIPPED for his cute short lover
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— aiming low, aiming high.
character[s] — alhaitham. theme & genre — alhaitham helps you place a book on the shelf, but not without slipping a few teasing remarks about your height. cw/tw — none. word count — 800+ words. a/n — when im short but i cant write short reader and when i kin alhaitham but i cant write alhaitham 💔💔
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alhaitham is a man of great restraint, which all seemingly disappears when it comes to you, his lover. a few months ago, you started dating the scribe, who was the dictionary definition of stoic and unassuming. he didn't quite care for attention from those he wasn't privy to.
but he found himself wanting your attention all the time. it was an odd feeling for him; to be so... dependent. he was used to doing things alone, but then you appeared like some sandstorm, wrecking any level of control he had in his life.
he was sitting at his desk, while you sorted through his books. he'd given you a pattern that he preferred to have his books arranged in, when you'd said something about how messy his office was.
"i don't need it to be clean when i know exactly where everything is." he had told you. "if your desk has books on it, where will i sit?" "on the chair." "..."
alhaitham saw you reach up, holding an ivy book with gold cutouts. it was a heavy book, and you struggled to hold it properly and push it into the slot. due to your small stature, you had to stand on your tip-toes to try and reach it.
a slight smile (yet another thing he couldn't control because of you) made its way onto his lips as he observed you. you were... well, if he had to put it objectively, short.
the height difference between you two was rather prominent. alhaitham was tall to begin with, and he'd never really cared for his height until he met you. he enjoyed being the taller one, more than he'd like to admit. it was amusing to him, to provide absent-minded musings about your short stature, and even more amusing seeing your expected reactions.
he loved it when you looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, he loved it when you fit so snugly against his body when you two cuddled at night, and he loved the feeling of towering over you because it made him feel like he was protecting you.
not that you really needed any protecting. you were well capable of dealing with people. they say the smallest people have anger that's more concentrated; and he found it to be true when it came to you. you were vibrant in your expressions, quite different to him.
you were like the sun, and he was the moon. and even the moon sought the sun's light, after all.
you didn't realise when he'd snuck up behind you, both hands wrapping around your waist. he bended down to rest his chin on your shoulder, taking in the scent of your freshly washed clothes. there was a soft warmth in your embrace, what he'd define nostalgically as home.
"need some help, habibti?" he murmured, his voice low, his heated breath hitting your ear in a way that made you shiver.
"i'll be fine," you replied, warding off the butterflies in your stomach, "it's a book."
"this book seems to be greatly troubling my lover," he said, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "i can't stand to see you in such perplexion. should i deal with it for you?"
you flushed a little at him calling you his lover. he'd said it before, but it felt odd to hear someone like him say the word as if he was saying hello. he didn't wait for your response, his hand grasping yours atop the book, deftly wrestling the book out of your hold and placing it into the slot.
you coughed, once, turning to meet his gaze. you had to look up at him, your eyes narrowing into an unamused expression when you saw that smirk on his lips.
"i'm expecting a comment about my height." you said, crossing your arms.
"i wasn't going to do it." he replied, but you weren't convinced. it was almost like he was holding back laughter. when he saw you stare at him, unconvinced, he slumped his shoulders, snaking his big arms around your small figure.
"i could fit you in my pocket." he spoke, leaning down to rest his head against your shoulder. "like a mini [name]. maybe you could take care of my keys for me, make sure i don't accidentally grab kaveh's."
"and there it is." you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck.
he wanted to pick you up and... well, he didn't think that far. that train of thought crashed the second you pressed your lips against his.
he kissed you back, cupping your cheek. when he pulled away, he didn't really know what expression to make. his mind naturally settled for a smile, his eyes narrowed teasingly.
and here comes the second attack-!
"you're so short. my back hurts from crouching like this to kiss you." he said, feigning a woeful tone. critical hit, no survivors.
"don't make me hit you." came your quick reply. "hit me where?" he chuckled, "my face? you'll need a stool to reach that, habibti." "i can still reach your knees."
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posted on 10th july, 2024.
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barrenclan · 1 month ago
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i feel a bit bad for cormorant :( im sure this isnt your intent but it almost feels as though hes settled for a life he didnt want
I'm curious what this is in response to - there's two major things I can think of, so let me explore them for a second!
So, if this is in response to the idea that Cormorantleaf wants kittens and Pinewing doesn't; lemme talk about that for a second. I tried to go into it in the last epilogue, but with their late-stage relationship I wanted to address a trope in fiction that really bothers me, especially as someone who doesn't want to have children. Stop me if you've heard it before:
Characters A and B are in a romantic relationship. Character A wants to have kids, but B doesn't, for whatever reason. They struggle, and talk about it, and eventually A says "it's okay, even if we don't have kids, I'll still love you!" It's really nice, and confirms that they love each other even if they don't want. Except, then, B turns around and says "it's so good to know that! It made me change my mind; I got over my 'fears', and now I do want kids!"
That bugs me. It's always the assumption, even if it's established that a relationship would be okay without kids, it's always on the onus of the person who doesn't want children to change their mind. It's never enough to stop at "it's okay if we don't have kids together" - and then they don't. So that's what I wanted to do with Cormorantleaf and Pinewing's relationship, and it's why I had Pinewing talk about his discomfort surrounding children so often and Cormorantleaf's potential to be a father. If Corm wanted kids more than he wanted to be with Pine - he could leave! No stopping him. But Pinewing matters more to him than having kids does. I find it more distasteful that someone would force themselves to raise children if they didn't want to (it's almost like that's a theme of the story... and kind of exactly what happened with Nightberry). Admittedly, I would've liked to rather do that idea with Daffodilcloud and Duncan instead of the main gay couple, but eh, I already had an end-of-arc theme with Daff to wrap up that would've clashed. These are the decisions you make when writing a story.
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On the other hand, if this is in response to the idea that they're traveling around instead of settling down in one place, or that Pinewing is forcing him into the relationship; maybe I was a bit too subtle with what I was trying to get across. Cormorantleaf was actually the first one to suggest that they travel around together, way back in Issue 26:
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Corm needs an emotional anchor more than a physical anchor. And this was especially clear in his early development, and how his relationship to Pinepaw was a bit unhealthy (and vice versa, too); he had such intense abandonment issues that he was holding Pinepaw up as a total pillar of support, and believed he wouldn't be able to survive without him.
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That's why I wanted Cormorantleaf to have a chance to be on his own during the breakup, and solidfy that he could exist without a relationship, that he didn't need another person to survive. But instead that he could willingly choose a relationship with Pinewing, because it was something he wanted and something he thought would enrich his life rather than an obligation.
All that to say that Comorantleaf's hesitation in the last epilogue is not meant to be presented as "he's being forced into something he doesn't want by Pinewing", but rather "he's scared that them traveling around will cause Pinewing to abandon him, and that makes him panic and lash out".
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And Pinewing would have absolutely stayed with him even after Cormorantleaf yelled at him, except that Corm happened to hit on Pinewing's own insecurities that come from his childhood of neglect and feelings that nobody actually wants him around:
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You don't have to be un-anonymous to respond to this, and anyways if it's just personal feelings that's perfectly valid and not something I want to try and change. But I never meant to make it seem like Cormorantleaf wasn't happy with where he ended up, or that he 'settled' for something he didn't want.
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onefleshonepod · 6 months ago
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On Barbie
I'd like to share my thoughts on John’s choice to house Alecto in a body that looks like Hollywood Hair Barbie.
To the best of my recollection over the past year, I've seen several people claim that Barbie being a famously unattainable beauty standard for women and arguably a sex symbol was irrelevant to John's decision to make Alecto a Barbie lookalike, and that rather the main impetus for this decision of John’s was his trauma, gender non-conformity, internalized homophobia, and desire to return to the comfort of childhood. This argument posits that John's decision had little or nothing to do with patriarchy, misogyny, objectification of women, or impossible beauty standards placed on women by men.
I empathize with the above position to a certain extent — it's absolutely crucial to remember and consider in our analyses that John is a queer working-class Indigenous man.
But………....................
John is not a real person. He is a character written to advance plot, themes, and political commentary within a carefully crafted story.
If I'm Tamsyn Muir writing John 1:20 in Nona the Ninth, and the point I want to make about my character is specifically and only that he is struggling with self-doubt, trauma, gender non-conformity, internalized homophobia, and yearning for the comfort of home and childhood — and I want to say nothing about patriarchy and misogyny?
I'm not having him make the soul of the earth into a Barbie!
I'd be having him model Alecto after a completely different popular 1990s toy for girls, like a Polly Pocket, or Betty Spaghetti, or a Raggedy Ann doll, or another doll that doesn't carry the same connotations as Barbie. Or, hell, I’d be having John make Alecto look exactly like his mum, or his nan, or female Māori mythological figures from stories he must have heard from his nan in childhood, like Papatūānuku, or the first woman, Hineahuone, who was made from earth.
I'm not smarter or more creative than Tamsyn, and the above ideas are just the alternatives I thought of in five minutes that would have specifically symbolized John's personal trauma and nothing else.
But Tamsyn didn't do that. Tamsyn picked Barbie specifically. I think that's worth taking into consideration.
Let’s examine exactly what John says in John 1:20.
Hollywood Hair Barbie's physical appearance comes first in the list of reasons why she was his favourite, and her other characteristics come last. He lists two physical traits and one non-physical trait of hers. “My favourite was her old Hollywood Hair Barbie,” he murmured. “I loved her little gold outfit and her long yellow hair. She was the best. She got to have all the adventures.”
He discards as an option a model of a woman who doesn't conform to patriarchal, Eurocentric beauty standards specifically because of her appearance: “There was also a Bride’s Dream Midge, but Mum had cut Midge’s hair into this weird mullet.”
He chooses a blonde Barbie body that he can mould into and mentally map onto glamourized versions of women created by men through the ages. “I made you look like a Christmas-tree fairy … I made you look like a Renaissance angel … I made you Adam and Eve … Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair.”
Our famous cultural images of Renaissance angels are all idealized depictions of women made by men — Raphael, Titian, Albrecht Dürer, etc. Frankenstein's monster, a man loathed and discarded by his creator, is a more nuanced comparison... but the only thing John notes is that his version has long yellow hair.
I'm not even getting into the whiteness (or the plastic-ness) of it all, but three of John's comparisons here are specifically coded as white women considered beautiful by Eurocentric standards in the Western cultural imagination (Christmas tree toppers, Renaissance angels, and Barbie), and the others are often depicted as white.
Galatea specifically is such a telling comparison. This myth is the story of a man caging and controlling his idealized, beautiful female creation, which exactly parallels John’s goals with Alecto: “From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done.”
Given all of this, I genuinely think that John's choice of Barbie as a model for Alecto was intended to position John as a symbol of patriarchy, misogyny, and objectification of women, through both a political and religious lens. Tamsyn is way, way too smart to have not made a careful, considered, intentional choice here.
John didn’t make Alecto into a Māori goddess from his nan’s stories. He didn't make her into a cheerful Raggedy Ann. He made her into a beautiful, blonde Hollywood hair Barbie.
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dunmeshistash · 6 months ago
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G'day, I hope you are doing well.
Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.
However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.
It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.
With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.
Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.
Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!
She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.
In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.
This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones
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She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)
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I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.
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I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)
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I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.
Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.
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Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.
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I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!
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writingwisterias · 3 months ago
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hiii, I saw that your requests are open and do you think you could write about how Leon Eras would act with a S/O who is going through a kind of difficult phase..? like depressive days and even anxiety attacks. it's just that (all) Leon is my comfort character so he always helps me get through hard days😭 lol. I'm sorry if this is a sensitive topic for you, hun, you can just ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable :] 💗
your writing is so sweet and makes me like DAYDREAM EVEN MORE ABOUT LEON sldjmdaljsl
Hello!
Ah your so sweet I'm so glad you like my writing 🥹I would love to do this for you! I have had a hard week so I've been thinking about this a lot as well! My Dms/Inbox are always open if anyone needs someone to talk to even if it's just about Leon don't hesitate! I have a lot to say 👀❤️❤️
Warnings: Fluff, Depression, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort,
(there is a harder hitting subject area please read with caution! It is highlighted in red and plenty of warning before scrolling!)
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RE2:
Okay so this Leon is more than likely to drop literally everything they are doing to come and help you.
Like nothing is too big of an ask for him, he will drive to wherever you are
If it's an issue with your home life he'll put more gas in his car and take you on a long drive
Won't press you to talk about anything that's bothering you, is more than happy to just be there for you. Even if the silence kills him.
Best hugs.
Like I'm talking crushing bear hugs if you need them.
Forehead kisses as well, he's prone to them.
He's so smitten with you that people often tease him about it. He will take any of the teasing as long as you are happy with him and he's doing his absolute best to care
Writes messages on the mirror in the bathroom if he showers before you 'you got this, I love you'
RE4R:
In one of my other Eras I mentioned that Leon's love language is acts of service and I think it would apply here as well.
Would drop whatever he's doing (if he's nearby) to ensure that you are okay.
Massive cuddler, will get dead arms if it means you stay asleep again his biceps
In terms of Acts of Service I'm thinking like he will take the stress of things for you as you deal with it.
Like don't worry about doing the laundry or cleaning he'll have that covered.
If you as struggling to get up and out of bed he'll make sure you have something fun to do as a reward.
If you don't want to leave the house don't worry he understand, breakfast in bed it is.
Will bed rot with you if you need...he probably needs it as well.
He would help you brush your hair and teeth if needed.
Will not let you say a peep about it, like this is how he shows love. No ask is too big for him. He would rather you be here and okay than have to fold laundry for you.
Infinite Darkness:
So he's away a lot more, they send him literally everywhere in this time of his life but that doesn't mean he won't work damn hard to make sure he's still there.
He would appreciate it if you texted him throughout the day even if you are sad. Like just a small text
'not feeling great today'
When he has the time he would call you and listen for hours to you, or even talk about everything that happened in his day if you need it
If he is home, he's either rotting in bed with you or treating you
He'll carry all your shopping bags for you don't worry!
Always makes sure he smells nice for you, something that makes you chuckle when you hug if you aren't feeling great and his aftershave over powers you
The idea of him quickly spraying himself is too funny to me.
Forehead kisses! Top of the head kisses! All the damn kisses. He'll make sure you feel loved
Has a note in his notes app of all your favorite foods and drinks and will pick them up when he comes to see you to make sure you are okay
Damnation:
As long as you have breakfast for him he's there jk!
Literally drops everything, he doesn't give a shit about the government anymore so you are his first priority
If anyone tries to stop him it's a death glare or punch in the face.
I reckon he uses a baby voice sometimes but instantly cringes and apologizes when it slips out.
Is more than happy to drink with you if that's how you want to deal with things
Will prefer if you don't go any path like that but also knows he's not one to talk so he will support you just begrudgingly
Prefers to have you on his lap when you cuddle, buries his head in your neck as well just taking in you.
Wouldn't really talk unless that's what you wanted, is more of just a calming presence and is very happy to be there for you like that.
RE6:
Will focus on you more than himself.
I'm talking like makes sure you get sleep by staying up and watching you.
Big foodie so will literally eat whatever you want as long as you are eating.
Won't force you to do anything if you don't want to either, he's had that his whole life and knows how it feels.
Big on talking about the future helping you create a plan that can range to activities for the next week or even the end goal of your life.
I think he starts to struggle with a path a head and the ideals of where he actually wants to end up so having someone to plan with wouldn't just make you feel better but himself.
Vendetta:
Even though he is literally a mess himself I think he would make it his first priority to help you.
If he found out.
Don't hide it from him it would make him feel bad that you felt like you had to in order to help him (even though he's literally going to do the same)
I think Leon really needed something else to focus on in this time something to help him get pushed back on track so hearing you are suffering is like a switch flicked.
That being said it doesn't mean he's instantly ready to help you but would be paying closer attention and making changes on himself to help you. Just slowly.
Because it's a slow progress for the both of you I think it would be mainly cuddling and staying inside to help you out. Lots of physical affection as words are hard for the both of you.
I can imagine like movie nights in bed or on the couch.
I think it's more of a we are both suffering so let's suffer together type of thing.
Death Island:
Idealy the most stable out of all of them to handle something along the lines of this.
He would be the biggest brick wall for you to lean on.
Doesn't leave you alone unless he actually has to. Has even refused to work in refusal to stray away from you just in case.
He would be the type of person to be like 'lets go for a walk and get fresh air with the endorphins'
He means it in a good way though. But wouldn't drag you to do anything.
Wouldn't let you rot in bed at least making you sit in the living room or something just won't let you stay in bed.
Will cuddle you until you tell him to move.
Probably would buy you a dog or another animal to focus on something else.
Will learn any of your hobbies to do it with you.
He's the type of person to just try and keep the spark going and encourage you to still go even if you really don't want to.
Will sit in silence if that's what you need, however would end up falling asleep and ruining it by snoring.
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Harder hitting topics underneath!!
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Please read with caution and my Dms are open if you need someone to talk to!
Tw: Sh, Suicidal thoughts
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This section applies to all Leon's:
If you told it has gotten this bad his initial reaction would be shock and maybe anger. But not at you.
His brain would immediately switch and go towards helping you in any way he can.
He's got minimal first aid training nothing fancy but enough to ensure that you are clean and nothing is infected.
Would listen to every single word you have to say about your situation.
The type of person to ask if you would rather rant or want actual advice.
He would actively ask you quit with the harm and take away any means for you to do it until he can trust you again.
This also includes not taking weapons into his house. He's got a mean kick if there's danger he'll swat them away.
That being said if you did somehow relapse he would not be mad in the slightest and instead care for you and help you out.
Would be heartbroken if you told about how you truly felt about the world and be there every single night.
He is not missing a single second with you
Would constantly check up on you but if you said it's too overbearing he'll apologize and step back even if he really needs to know that you are okay.
Doesn't care about scars, nightmares, trauma, substance abuse...he does it too and would actually use the opportunity to help you and help himself
Would go to therapy with you if that's what you needed or at least be around if you wanted to go on your own
Will make sure you are taking all of your meds and are eating properly.
If you need him he will be there no questions asked.
He doesn't care if it's unprofessional for Hunnigan to put you through to him during a mission he'll just treat the woman to coffee keeping it under the table
If you need him he will come
He'd rather have you than not..
Nothing is too big of a problem for him.
160 notes · View notes
base0h · 5 months ago
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NOT SAYING I LOVE YOU BACK TO HAIKYUU CHARACTERS
a/n - I feel like someone requested this with Osamu, nishinoya, ushijima, and tendou a while ago and it got deleted??? Sorry anon 😭🙏 bro writing this made me feel lonely. 💀
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader
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- bold of you to assume bro would let you do this
- well for this let’s just say he did
- you saw this TikTok about this prank where one person didn’t say I love you back to their partners, and you thought it’d be funny to try it on Osamu
- Osamu was getting ready to head to a late practice, getting his bag and shoes to leave your room
- you were doing some homework, so he gave you a hug from behind and pecked your cheek
- “Love ya, goin to practice now.” -Osamu
- “Ok be safe, bye Samu.” -you
- you said that with a smile, going back to your homework, acting as if nothing was wrong
- Osamu nodded, closing the door behind him, his footsteps receding, but then suddenly they stopped
- you had to struggle not to snicker at the sudden stop of his footsteps
- then you heard him coming back and you swore you almost let out a laugh, swallowing it quickly as he opened the door again
- “Y/n. I love you—“
- “Huh? Yeah I know Samu, be safe and good luck at practice.”
- he looked at you like you were Atsumu, squinting as he put a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one foot like he was posing to be in a magazine when in reality he was just confused and a bit irritated
- “…What did I do??”
- “You didn’t do anything what do you mean??”
- “Yer makin’ me look desperate here— I love you—“
- “…Yeah i know???”
- “Y/N.”
- “Osamu???”
- “Wh— don’t use my full name! What the hell did I do???”
- you couldn’t take it anymore, you laughed, covering your face as you struggled to catch your breath
- meanwhile osamu’s looking at you in the doorway with his hand still on his hip like a pissed off Karen that wants to speak to the manager (if he had a weapon it’d be a frying pan)
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literally Osamu ^^
- oh my god his face was priceless, you wished you’d taken a real photo rather than a mental screenshot so you could show Suna
- “I’m sorry samu it was a prank. I love you too.”
- “…..I ain’t making ya dinner.”
- “NO PLEASE I’M SORRY—“
- yeah bros done with you
- he was all worried for nothing 😭
- he thought he did something wrong but no you just wanted to bullshit him
- he still made you dinner btw
- he like gave you a plate without saying anything and eating in the other room but he still gave it to you (he’s petty)
- basically an Asian parent 💀
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- nishinoya probably says ‘I love you’ about 100000000000000+ times and counting, per day
- and he lives for hearing you say it back to him
- he still gets giddy when he hears you say it
- “Y/n I love you!!” -Nishinoya
- “Love you too noya :)” -you
- “…..RYUUUUUUUU Y/N SAID THEY LOVED ME!!”
- “THEY SAY THAT EVERY DAY NISHINOYA SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL MORE SINGLE—“ -Tanaka shouted whilst sobbing in the corner (dw Tanaka you end up marrying the love of your life)
- you saw this prank on TikTok and obviously you wanted to try it on your eccentric boyfriend
- but you did feel SLIGHTLY bad about what his reaction might be since you were well aware that he loved hearing you say it back
- but you’re mean so 🤷 (Jkjk you’re awesome just pretend you’re mean for this pls🙏💀)
- Nishinoya was about to go to class, giving you one last bear hug before he went as usual
- “Are you sure we gotta go to class? I like you better than math :(“
- “Yes noya— you have to graduate high school remember?”
- “Ok fineee— I’ll see you after class then??”
- “Mhm.”
- “Ok love you y/n!!”
- “Ok— don’t fall asleep in class ok? See ya later.”
- the fact that the silence was so loud that even kiyoko who was walking by was like: 🫢
- Tanaka’s jaw was on the FLOOR
- Daichi probably verbally said “ohhhhh snap 😬” with that exact face
- Nishinoya was frozen, and all of the sudden he just flopped off of you, still holding his hug position, and just like died on the floor in a dead bug looking position
- you legit could not tell if he was breathing or not 😭
- you killed him
- good job y/n, you killed the guardian deity of karasuno
- Nishinoya literally passed out cold from pure despair because he didn’t hear you say it back, and therefore in his mind that equaled you didn’t love him and were breaking up with him and the world was ending and aliens were gonna invade earth (bro what? 💀)
- he woke up with his head in your lap, resting on your thighs— and he woke up with like zero memory and woke up as high as a kite too
- he was giggling like an idiot, spouting random nonsense and corny shit, going from flirty and sobbing his eyes out back and forth 😭
- “Am I in heaven? Cuz you look like an angel, angel 😏”
- “Thank you goddd— for blessing me with this gorgeous gift— 😭😭😭😭”
- he forgot about the prank btw
- hit his head way too hard on his way down and woke up on his favorite pillow so yep everything turned out semi ok 👍
- hey may or may not have permanent brain damage! 😄
- daichi aged 10 years after this incident by the way
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- I feel like tendou says I love you all the time, but whenever you say it back he’s always a bit surprised
- he’s heard you say it a bunch of times by now but he’s still just a tad shocked everytime
- like he’s genuinely surprised you actually love him back 😭
- the first time you said it back bro cried 🥲
- he would NOT stop talking to ushijima about it, he kept gushing about how perfect you were and how he doesn’t deserve you and meanwhile ushijima is sitting there like: 🧍‍♂️
- funny part is that ushijima’s genuinely trying to listen to his friend but bro just doesn’t get it 💀
- you saw this prank on TikTok that seemed funny, you two always kinda went back and forth playing little jokes on each other
- last time he got you by putting a huge ass fake spider on the ceiling of your room so when you walked in he pulled a string and it jumped out and hit your face
- you did not talk to bro for days
- I wouldn’t either man 😭
- so now it was time to get him back
- he was getting ready to leave for a late practice, and he bounded over to you from behind your work chair as you were reading the shonen jump he had lent you
- “Ok I’m goin to practice I’ll see ya later y/n—“ -tendou
- “Ok bye tendou, have a good practice. Don’t piss off Semi too much—“ -you
- “Oh come on I don’t piss him off! Semi is my bestie he can confirm!”
- “I honestly don’t think you could pay semi an amount that would make him call you his ‘bestie’”
- “I can work miracles! Ok— bye y/n I love youuuuu—“
- “Bye tendou, good luck with working that miracle.“
- He paused, his lanky arms dropping down to his sides as he thought for a second
- did you not say it back or was he just going deaf?
- he did that thing yk where you like tilt your head to the side in confusion— and his hair like drooped down a bit 😭
- “…I love you—“
- “I know tendou, have a good practice!”
- he’s scared, genuinely terrified
- he’s running through his mind trying to think of why you didn’t say it back— did you think he was annoying?? Was he being too loud? Did you actually just not say it because you didn’t love him anymore?
- he wanted to ask what was wrong but he thought maybe he was being annoying so he just left to give you space 😭
- you felt awful
- he looked so confused and hurt before he left
- tendou went to ushijima for advice and to just talk about it— he’s probably the worst person to talk to about this stuff bc bro literally thinks the earth is flat but whatever
- “…..That’s rough buddy.” -ushijima whilst awkwardly patting tendou’s shoulder
- “…Was that an avatar reference?” -tendou
- “Hm? What is an ‘avatar’?”
- “Nevermind. Thanks for trying.”
- you felt so bad— so when he was just in his room doing homework, you came in and immediately gave him a hug, apologizing and saying I love you to him over and over
- he was confused but happy to hear you say it back— he was SWEATIN bro 😭
- “I thought I was being annoying—“
- “Oh no tendou it was just a prank—“
- “….Wait was this payback for the spider?”
- “…..Yeah.”
- “…Ok I kinda deserved that then.”
- “Love you tendou, I promise you’re not annoying.”
- “Love you too y/n :)”
……
- “….Don’t you dare even think about pranking me with a spider again.”
- “I won’t make any promises that I can’t keep 😄”
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- if there’s one thing he always remembers to do it’s to say ‘I love you’ before he leaves or before you go to sleep
- he doesn’t talk much but he never fails to say it to you
- even if he pretty much doesn’t talk the whole day, his few words will be those practiced words that have now been engrained into his mind
- you saw a prank video on instagram and thought it would be interesting to try it on ushijima, you honestly weren’t sure how he’d react
- he was getting ready to leave for practice, coming up from behind you as you worked on some assignments, giving you a quick one armed hug since his other arm was full carrying his stuff
- “I’ll be back tonight, goodbye y/n, I love you.” -ushijima
- “Ok, have a good practice.” -you
- he waited a minute, since usually he heard you say it back— but no you went right back to doing your work
- he assumed that maybe you were very absorbed and busy with your assignments and studies, which he understood and wanted to respect your work time
- so he left without another word, not wanting to disturb you
- but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care about the fact that you didn’t say it back to him
- he was so accustomed to you saying those three words back to him or to him directly, maybe he’d taken it for granted? Because now without hearing them, he felt— wrong
- he wasn’t greatly disturbed, but he wasn’t normal either
- he thought about it a couple times during breaks in practice, wondering if he did something to make you distant or frustrated with him
- after practice was over, he came back, seeing you still doing your work like when he left, and he tried to be as quiet as possible to not bother you in case that was the reason behind why you didn’t say it back
- dude he was trying so hard to figure out what to do 😭
- he called tendou because he thought either tendou was the expert on these things or semi, and semi did NOT pick up 💀 (idk why but I feel like semi never answers his phone, not even on purpose, but like his ringer doesn’t work or some shit and he’s sitting there wondering why no one texts him or calls him)
- “Uhhhh…. Good luck Wakatoshi-kun!” -tendou
- “Is the situation that bleak?? I require your best wishes..? Tendou is this serious?” (Poor guy is sweating now 💀)
- “Well it’s either ‘damn well— good luck’ or it’s a prank! I’ve seen people do a prank on their partners where they don’t say ‘I love you’ back.” (tendou’s chronically online there isn’t a meme or prank trend bro hasn’t seen)
- “…..I see. How do I know which one it is?”
- “…..Good luck with that!”
- some help you are tendou 💀
- ushijima is not good at being subtle, so he just blatantly asked you— after you were going to take a break from your work
- “Y/n, did I do something to make you distant? Or was this a prank? Tendou told me about a certain trending prank partners do to their significant others, and—“ (he was talking the most you’ve ever heard him speak because bro was nervous actually despite looking normal)
- “I’m sorry Ushijima it was a prank yeah— I love you too ok?”
- he felt his shoulders relax when he finally heard you say it with that familiar smile that melted his heart
- ever since that prank you did— he’s said it more often
- he has a routine now, instead of just when he leaves or when he goes to sleep, he texts you in the morning, or says it to you if you’re there with him
- he says it whenever you say you text him or say over the phone you have to go do something
- he says it when you get back or when he gets back
- he says it a lot let’s just put it that way :)
- also semi was so betrayed that ushijima asked tendou for advice and not him later on 🥲
- “You asked TENDOU first?! Of all people?! You would’ve had better luck with goshiki!” -semi
- “Huh what?! I heard my name! Did someone call me?!” -goshiki appearing out of nowhere anytime someone says anything starting with “go”
- “BRO HOW DID YOU MATERIALIZE?!”
- “BAHAHAHAHAHAHDHDHEUHDUD—“ -tendou having an asthma attack from laughing
- “Apologies Semi, you did not pick up your phone. And from what I recall, you’ve never been in a relationship before, correct?” -ushijima
- bye bye semi’s self esteem 💀 tendou was about to cry and turn blue from laughing so hard, slapping his knee, cackling, shaking semi by his shoulders and giggling like a little shit
- ushijima is BRUTAL bro 🥲
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a/n - semi got violated, a moment of silence for him 😔🙏
356 notes · View notes
aethelwyneleigh27 · 2 years ago
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Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part one)
+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O
+ What type of BF/GF they would be
Including John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader
ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ
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My rules for requests and characters I can write for
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Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone.
Taglist: @marshmallowinamess
A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, I'm back after a nerve-wracking week of school. This is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. God I fucking hate school. I wrote all of this in a cold room, a heat pad on me (because period cramps) and at 3am so any mistakes will be edited out as soon as I'm aware of it.
This is divided into a multiple part thing (I think 2-3?) because God knows I can't fit them all in one post because of the limited amount of gifs and photos. I'll add more to these in the future, some are longer than others because I can't think. Also because I can't write them all at once, that's a lot to write okay 😭
Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.
Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.
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John Price
ꕥ (OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILEEE) (He's such a quokka)
ꕥ Price who literally is such a father figure, doesn't matter whether the relationship between you two is romantic or platonic. He often takes the dominant caring role.
ꕥ Doesn't smoke around you, doesn't matter if you insist he doesn't. He still won't and definitely will criticize you if you try or do smoke because he doesn't want you do end up like him.
ꕥ If there's a bit of an age gap between you, I'd say he's hesitant. Definitely afraid of what the rest of the task force thinks (He can't help it, they're basically his boys)
ꕥ John Price who wants to settle down with you, maybe have kids if you want but just a white picket fence life with you without the chaos that is war and his job.
ꕥ He only ever let's you have his hat, only when he gives it to you though. Most of the time it would be while you're out, he'd put it on your head from his. (Cowboy hat rule? I heard that in more respectful terms rather than sexual, it respectfully means that you are theirs)
ꕥ John Price who rests his chin at the top of your head no matter how much he needs to crouch down whenever hugging you from behind. Love doing it whenever you're busy doing something too. (Props for the effort because you cannot tell me he doesn't have back, neck and knee pains)
ꕥ Is constantly worried if you share the same line of work, like at first it was nothing but a tiny crush and slowly he finds himself caring about your well-being more and more over time.
ꕥ Can't help but think he's an acts of service type of guy, reaching up for things you need or better yet lifting you up so you can reach them and loves opening things for you like bottles or anything canned. (Girlies who get their nails done or wear press ons know this struggle ( I'm a press on girly)
ꕥ The kind of man who would turn on some oldies music and slow dance with you in the living room, your footsteps and breathing being the only other sounds as you smile at each other, foreheads against the other's.
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
ꕥ Ghost who is such Doberman/Black cat boyfriend. Like have you seen this man? He's so tall and intimidating, one distasteful look from him and if it was physically possible that person would drop dead.
ꕥ Ghost whose a chubby chaser through and through, he just looks for something different from what he's used to.
ꕥ Is definitely a tits kinda guy, doesn't matter how big or how small they are. He'll definitely play with them in some way during doing the you know what.
ꕥ Feels like you can take him and his size better because of your plush body. Has a size kink and likes seeing it bulge a bit when he's inside you.
ꕥ You're just so soft and warm, he wants something away from what he usually feels doing his job. Not really that touchy but he gets quite clingy within closed doors.
ꕥ Likes to squeeze your thighs, his grip on them would not falter. Doesn't matter whether it's in a sexual or domestic way.
ꕥ Thinks you deserve better than what he can offer and needs constant reassurance, never says it out loud but you pick up on what he feels. (please be patient with him)
ꕥ More often than not, he thinks you're quite fragile. Even if you can protect yourself, one of his ways of showing you he loves you is through protecting you. Hence the Doberman boyfriend scenario.
ꕥ Doesn't like PDA but knows when it's necessary, him placing his arm around your shoulder is enough to keep perverts in their places. If that rando is really that bold then they'll most likely end up with a few broken bones depending on how pissed Simon is.
ꕥ If you work alongside him, he'd constantly worry about your well-being but at the same time is conflicted because he's confident that he can protect you.
ꕥ Only you and the TF141 can call him Simon, he still feels uneasy when he gets called that but when it's you saying it, it doesn't sound as daunting to him. Still dislikes in in certain tones of voice because his name reminds him of his past.
ꕥ You've seen his face, it took a long time but after that he trusted you enough to show him. The fact that you didn't find his face revolting and even kissed his scars while cupping his face was enough for him to want to marry you.
ꕥ Isn't fully insecure about his face but has his moments. (You know like the voice line where soap asks him to take off his mask and asked him if he was ugly and Ghost said "Negative")
ꕥ Takes a little while to get him to open up and little things like letting you hold him takes him a bit of time to get used to because it makes him feel vulnerable.
ꕥ God forbid something were to happen to you and he couldn't do anything to stop it, Simon would lose his fucking mind.
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John "Soap" MacTavish
ꕥ Soap is a Golden Retriever boyfriend through and through. He's energetic, loyal and really affectionate.
ꕥ He's a lighthearted flirt at first because he doesn't wanna scare you off but damn does he gradually get bolder over time.
ꕥ Very hands on, touchy, and could be clingy at times unless you don't consent him, secretly always finding new ways to touch you.
ꕥ A sucker for cheek kisses, lips are his favorite but he can't help but break out a wide grin whenever you kiss his cheek. Can't help but feel kinda manly whenever you do.
ꕥ Adores making you laugh, no matter how stupid your sense of humor is he will absolutely say that joke if it gets a laugh out of you. Would be concerned if you had a dark sense of humor but will eventually get used to it. To describe it, hearing you laugh makes his heart feel full like in a content domestic way.
ꕥ Also, see the gif? You cannot tell me that he doesn't look at you that way because he absolutely would.
ꕥ Loves your weight against his body to the pint he's begging you to lay on him. You, him in the bed while he's shirtless with grey sweatpants on and you in your night clothes sharing each other's warmth with your head on his broad chest.
ꕥ Shows you silly and cute pet videos, especially the cat ones:
"[Name], look at this one!"
"Soap, we're not adopting a pet. Not right now at least"
ꕥ He was upset and gave you puppy eyes the whole time because the only time he had pet was when he was child, it was a hamster which was killed because it got sucked into the vacuum by his older sister.
ꕥ You're the only one allowed to tough his hair, he's very proud of his mohawk and will let you style it. Won't wear it out if you did something silly to it though.
ꕥ Soap who loves showing you off to everyone, loves light PDA but doesn't wanna potential put a target on your back.
ꕥ He definitely is the guy you want to take home to your family and friends (or found family <3), he's funny and easy to get along with. Very flirty with you but he'll straighten out because he's terrified on making a bad impression.
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Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
ꕥ (HE'S SO FREAKING UNDERRATED WITHIN THIS FANDOM)
ꕥ He gives Labrador boyfriend vibes, you can't help but want to take care of him.
ꕥ Gaz who literally had to do a double take when he first saw you, he turned to Soap with that "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" look in a good way.
ꕥ Gaz who literally had to ask you out multiple times before you said yes thinking he's only doing it for a bet or a cruel joke.
ꕥ Constant reassurance from him because he doesn't want you to feel insecure about your looks because to him you are literally an angel.
ꕥ Loves to chill with you, cuddling and just relaxing. Maybe scrolling on TikTok occasionally and show you the funny ones he chuckled at.
ꕥ He has a sixth sense whenever you crave something, say you want chocolate or drink of some sort then he'd definitely being home whatever it is you we're craving without having to ask you.
ꕥ Kyle who has your Starbucks order memorized because he likes being the one to order things for you. Will playfully argue with you on who'll pay this time. (Don't even try anymore, he always wins anyway)
ꕥ Puts his hat on your head mostly when you're out, has done it the first time because it was hot out and the sun was in your eyes. He's picked it up from Price and once you smiled at him through the shade of his cap, he has not stopped doing it.
ꕥ Definitely a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of guy when it comes to love languages. Sometimes whenever he'd give you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile, you can't help but laugh a little.
ꕥ He's very thoughtful, so much so that he prides himself in knowing you better than anyone. Everytime you two go out to eat, when he gets something and know that you'll want to taste it (he knows damn well whether you'll like it or not when he tastes it) he'll bring it upon himself to order you one before you even say you want some.
ꕥ Soft snores when he sleeps, it's cute but you know damn well he's tired. Also I think he's very cuddly, like he just likes reminding himself that he's not alone and that his bed is warm because you're in it. Therefore at minimum always has an arm around you in bed.
ꕥ Dances in the rain with you and loves it when you pull him gently on his arm while your hands are intertwined. Takes note of how the the raindrops sometimes fall on your lashes while you look up at him smiling.
ꕥ Kyle Garrick who wants nothing more in the world to see you happy and smiling. His "this is the woman I'm going to marry" moment was when you baked his favorite cake for his birthday despite it being so hard, you nailed it perfectly. (Whether it's out of luck or skill is up to you)
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Alejandro Vargas
ꕥ (idk how to write for this angry Mexican man but I'll try my best, love him and his megamind hairline though <3)
ꕥ Alejandro is definitely a flirt, a very bold on at that. He's quite forward when it comes to liking someone so yeah.
ꕥ He lives for it when you boss him around. That being said, he isn't picky about body type or any of the sort.
ꕥ Will teach you Spanish if you don't know any, definitely prioritizes the curse words and laughs whenever you jokingly call him pendejo.
ꕥ Wouldn't mind you teaching him your own culture and mother tongue. Bonus points if it's similar to his.
ꕥ Has Spanish nicknames for you because I imagine his own culture is important to him.
ꕥ Would hate it if you had the same line of work but will never take it out on you, it's just that it's so dangerous given the people he's involved with. (It's definitely Valeria)
ꕥ Speaking of El Sinombre, I don't think they had anything romantic going on. It's mainly platonic and the "betrayal" sucked on Alejandro's side. They definitely had some rivalry and the tension was through the roof. (Mainly because I headcanon Valeria as Lesbian)
ꕥ Can be so romantic when he tries, you can't tell me this mf ain't a smooth talker because he definitely is. Can be very blunt like in a forward way with his affection too.
ꕥ Likes kissing your wrist and feeling your pulse against his lips because it reminds him you're alive. (The amount of angst this scenario carries would be something I'm up for to write)
ꕥ Is sent on a fit of rage when something happens to you, say you got kidnapped then this man would tears off the walls of every building if he had to.
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Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
ꕥ (ANOTHER UNDERATED CHARACTER)
ꕥ Another Golden Retriever boyfriend. This man is just loving and dotting, very husband material.
ꕥ Loves chubby women, has a soft spot for them and just likes holding them.
ꕥ He's definitely used to the insecurity that comes with the body, also doesn't get why such beauty standards are even in place. Has and would fuck the insecure out of you again if he had to. (It's in a very gentle and loving manner)
ꕥ If you hold him in your arms, he'd be absolutely living for it. He already has had a long day and being honest he hasn't had many lovers that went far so having you care in this way about him would have him wrapped around your finger.
ꕥ Worships the ground you walk on. That's it.
ꕥ Would take everything to heart whenever you teach him or mention something within your culture if you aren't of Spanish origins like he is. He just loves you so much that it makes him happy knowing more about you.
ꕥ Would adore slow dancing with you, brings him back to reality where he realizes that he has you and that you're there.
ꕥ Terrified that one day you'll end up leaving him so reassurance would be much appreciated by him.
ꕥ Definitely a sucker for receiving forehead kisses, as for giving he likes to kiss the back of your hand.
ꕥ If ever danger presents itself to you too closely, he would have a heart attack like full on crying but not in public though.
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gnome-adjacent-vagabond · 7 months ago
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Psst hey *pulls you closer* Canon middle-aged queer relationships and multiple canon queer/queer-coded characters. *lets you go* Go watch Venture Bros.
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There are WAY more than these but I can't put em all up here because queer coding is up to interpretation. I say that everyone in Venture Bros is queer until proven straight but that's just me.
I wrote a whole-ass essay and then accidentally deleted it so the wording on this will probably be off, but it feels important so I'm gonna try be succinct.
Minor spoilers ahead! Skip paragraph three if you don't want those, then resume on paragraph four.
Full disclosure, this is a show that started in the early 2000s and has a LOT of issues in the first few seasons as well as a couple in the later seasons. There are transphobic and homophobic jokes, ableism, racism, and sexism. Sergeant Hatred is a walking trigger warning for about three seasons straight. It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway: DON'T watch this show if you have multiple triggers or are easily offended.
Having said that, these writers realized the problems with what they were writing and have worked to remedy those issues through commentary, retconning, and public acknowledgement of the early seasons' failings. Their opinions evolve and so does the show.
Shore Leave is a flamboyantly gay man who was initially intended to be a one-off joke about the G.I. Joe series and the Village People. Instead he has morphed into a three-dimensional character who presents comfortably as both masculine and feminine. He's in a loving relationship with another gay man, Al, who is flamboyant but tends to be a little less flashy. Steve Summers and Sasquatch have been a happy couple for years now--and all because the epitome of toxic masculinity, Brock Samson, helps them find a quiet cabin away from the government hunting them. Brock's mentor, Hunter Gathers, is a canonically detransitioned trans woman who struggles with her identity throughout the show (I'm still waiting for her to retransition despite the show's cancellation). Hank is perfectly at ease in a hyperfeminine strength suit, and Dean also goes through identity struggles that are never played for laughs and are heavily if not explicitly queer-coded. Vendata's queerness is understated and exists simply as a fact rather than being joked about. Sky Pilot is similar, though slightly more in Shore Leave's camp in terms of presentation. Sheila and the Monarch are self-proclaimed swingers and could be read to be in a poly relationship with Gary, their henchman. Debbie St. Simone has a rather homoerotic obsession with Sheila and is almost definitely bisexual.
The Venture Bros universe is full of queer rep, and the creators of the show write it in with intention. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick talk about wanting it to be treated as fact rather than completely defining each of their characters--they talk about how few women are in the show and why (Johnny Quest and G.I. Joe, the inspirations for Venture Bros, are heavily malecentric and there's constant homoeroticism in them for that reason). They acknowledge the flaws and work to improve themselves and their writing. This has culminated in a surprisingly moving series about love, death, grief, trauma, and change that radiates queer subtext from any angle--especially Dean's journey.
Try the show at least up to season 4. The first three seasons are on Netflix and the rest are on Adult Swim. If you still don't like it, that's fine. Thank you for trying! Just know that it's out there and that it's an example of how human beings can change and become better people. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren't perfect and neither is the Venture Bros, but for what it is it's a damn fun (shockingly so) show.
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e-dubbc11 · 13 days ago
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Such a Flirt
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F! Hunter Reader; supporting character Sam Winchester
Warnings: SMUT! (18+ please or I’m telling on you) fingering, oral, p in v protected sex (be safe out there everyone), couple of swear words, love confessions
Word Count: 3.3K-ish
Summary: Dean and Sam ask for your help getting information from a bartender at a local bar. You’re a smooth talker and can get info from anyone but Dean hates having to watch you flirt with handsome men.
A/N: Fair warning, there’s only a little plot with this one. I really just wanted to get to the smexy time. I had the strongest urge to write some smut for this smexy son of a bitch, I don’t know why but I’m just very much in love with all things Jensen Ackles right now(I’ve watched Tracker, My Bloody Valentine, and started watching season 3 of the Boys again plus random episodes of Supernatural) I can’t wait to meet him in October! I hope you like this one!
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
“Dude, why are you grinding your teeth like that?” Asked Sam.
Dean’s eyes were fixated on you as you flirted with the bartender. You were trying to see if he knew anything about a man who was in the bar a couple of days ago.
Later, the man couldn’t explain why he had beaten his girlfriend to death after being seen in the bar with a beautiful woman who was definitely NOT his girlfriend.
“Does she have to flirt so hard with that guy?!” Growled Dean. “He’s not even that good looking!”
Dean angrily took a sip of his beer and continued to watch you like a hawk.
Sam rolled his eyes, pressed his lips together in a straight line and tried to continue talking about the case with Dean but he was more interested in what you were saying to the bartender.
“She’s trying to get information for us, Dean. Relax.” Said Sam.
The boys didn’t always need a third “FBI agent.” Sometimes they just needed help getting information from the opposite sex. Men were a lot freer with their words with you rather than the “feds.”
You mostly hunted on your own but they would call you from time to time when they needed your…”wits,” so to speak. Plus, you liked to watch Dean struggle with his feelings for you and you very much liked him back but it was fun to make him jealous.
**********
Before leaving the bunker, you had asked, “What kinda bar is it?”
“What do you mean what kind? It’s a bar, y/n.” Answered Dean.
“Ok, I realize that, Dean but is it a biker bar, a country western bar, one that doesn’t have a theme? I need to know what kinda clothes to bring. I threw a whole bunch in my car, I’ll bring the one outfit I need, and pick up the rest back here before I head home.” You replied.
Sam was already on his laptop doing research so he did a quick search and found the bar’s website online.
“Looks like it’s quite the nice place, y/n. Reviews say it’s an after work hot spot for bankers, real estate brokers, professionals, etc.” Said Sam.
You replied, “Soooooo a little swanky, but don’t dress like a high end call girl, got it. You guys will fit in perfectly wearing your FED suits.”
You decided to go for the “classy attorney” look but without a blazer. A Kelly green fitted silk blouse, black wide-leg pants that had black studs on the seam, and black ankle boots. Your perfectly chosen outfit, paired with a black structured tote bag seemed like impeccable choices.
Eat your heart out, Dean Winchester.
While they were out eating lunch, you did your hair and makeup. You didn’t do this super girly stuff very often but you liked…feeling pretty. The times that the boys needed you to turn on the charm and bat your long lashes to get information, were really fun for you.
Drawing on your black winged eyeliner after having a little too much coffee proved to be difficult sometimes but you were a professional and could probably do it with your eyes closed if you needed to.
A medium tone matte eyeshadow and a bold lip completed the look while a strobe light like highlighter emphasized the high points of your face.
Satisfied with your look, you watched a little tv before changing clothes. They would be back soon to pick you up for drinks after they talked to the local cops.
While in the bathroom, you heard the door open and Dean called out to you.
“Y/n?! You better be ready; we gotta go!” Said Dean.
You emerged from the bathroom fully dressed with the exception of your shoes.
“Ok, ok keep your shirt on, Winchester. I just need my boots.” You replied.
After slipping into your boots, you picked up your bag and finally had a chance to look up. For once, Dean’s brow wasn’t furrowed and you could see his hypnotizing green eyes much better which caught you off guard.
“What is it? Do I have something on my pants?” You said, gazing down at your pants then turning in a circle with your head over your shoulder, trying to look at your own ass.
Dean was speechless and couldn’t get any words out so Sam answered as he tossed a burger at you, “Nope, all good. Let’s go. You can eat in the car.”
They walked up ahead as you locked the door behind you.
“Dude, what is wrong with you? You were staring at her.” Said Sam.
Dean replied, “She looks too good, Sam.”
“Can you wrestle with your feelings for her another time? She’s supposed to look nice.” Sam said.
Nervously, Dean whispered, “Well she’s distracting! And I don’t have THOSE kinds of feelings for her.”
“Whatever you say, dude.” Replied Sam with raised eyebrows.
You covered your mouth so they wouldn’t see you crack a smile.
While riding in the car, you leaned forward so the boys could hear you better. Making sure he could feel your breath on his ear, you said, “You two can go in first, have a seat, and I’ll make my way in after a few minutes. You can keep an eye on me as I walk up to the bar.”
A sly smirk stretched across your lips as you slinked back into your seat and looked at Dean in the rearview mirror, trying his hardest NOT to appear flustered but failing miserably.
You could have made it easy and told Dean how you felt about him but he deserved to be on the receiving end of the teasing. Women made it easy for him, just falling at his feet which meant he had his pick and he hated every time you teased him.
And now, drinking at the corner of the bar, you could feel him burning a hole in your head with his angry stare. It appeared that Dean couldn’t take just sitting there anymore. Sam tried to grab hold of his jacket but he missed and Dean started to walk over to the bar when the bartender walked away to wait on someone else.
“I’m getting some good stuff, Dean. Get outta here!” You whisper yelled at him without looking and without drawing attention to yourself.
He nonchalantly whisper yelled back at you, “You’re being a little TOO friendly with him, don’t ya think?”
“I’m perfectly capable of weaseling information out of a dumb bartender. Now get outta here before I kick your ass all over this bar!” You growled.
“Need something, friend?” The bartender asked Dean.
A tad flustered, Dean replied with a narrowed expression, “Two more beers, buddy. Thanks.”
You got what you needed from the bartender and after another hour or so, you paid for your drinks and left. Dean and Sam followed you out a handful of minutes later.
“Can we get pizza?” You asked.
Dean was always in a better mood if he was fed properly so as a peace offering, you bought pizza on the way back to the motel. And of course, Dean picked up more beer.
Settling in with your dinner, you told them everything Jeremy, the bartender, told you about what he witnessed.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn’t know the two of you were on a first name basis.” Said Dean.
You rolled your eyes.
“Will you let me finish, please!?” You asked.
“Dean…let her finish. Come on.” Said Sam.
Dean continued to pace back and forth while you talked.
“…So the woman that he left with, Jeremy had never seen before. And this guy hung on her every word, gazed at her like she hung the moon, she said all the right things. Almost like he was legit under a spell or something.” You finished.
Sam had his laptop open. His fingers swiftly typed words into the search engine and he then flipped the screen around to show you and Dean what he found.
“I think we might be dealing with another siren.” Said Sam, confidently. “Two other women were murdered by husbands or boyfriends after encounters with beautiful women at that bar. Sirens need love and they compel people to kill to show devotion to them.” He turned to Dean. “Remember that one we dealt with before? The time where we were trying to kill each other?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I try not to though.”
Preoccupied with Dean’s eyes, they had darkened a little to match better with the green shirt you had on, you covered your infatuation by pushing the chair across from you out from under the table.
“Take a load off, tiger. You’re makin’ me nervous with all this pacin’ around you’re doin’.” You said in between bites of pizza.
The Winchester brothers were your second family and you knew them well, especially Dean so you knew when something was really bothering him. And right now, something was definitely bothering him.
Sam’s face was buried in his laptop, it was quiet in the room except for the sounds of fingers moving across a keyboard, and the tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Something about you being there was keeping Dean on edge so you finally decided to break the silence.
“Dean? Come on. What is it? You’re being extra grouchy right now, so grouchy that pizza couldn’t fix it. Ever since I walked outta the bathroom earlier, you’ve been short with me.” You said, calmly.
He pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead and traced the outside of his lips with his thumb and forefinger before narrowing his eyes at you.
You knew that look. The look of an extremely handsome literal green-eyed monster glaring at you from across the table. Dean was close to blowing a gasket.
He pointed at you and in his low gravelly voice said, “I don’t like it when you flirt with other men. There! I said it, ok!? You happy!?”
In one fluid motion, Sam closed his laptop, grabbed the keys to the car and said, “I’m gonna go talk to the cops again. Lemme know when you two work THIS out.”
You started to say, “O-ok, well just be—“
“Yep, I’ll be careful. I know what to look for. I’ll see ya guys later.” Said Sam.
The door closed behind him, the Impala roared to life, and Sam drove off, leaving you and Dean alone in the motel room.
“Well that was weird. Anyway…Dean, I’m just doing what you guys asked me to do! You needed me to get information, so I turned on my charm and I got what we needed just like any other time you’ve needed me for something like this!” You said with a raised voice.
Dean stood up from the table and loosened his tie a little. Unbuttoning the top button on his dress shirt, he didn’t take his gaze away from you.
“You don’t have to be THAT good, ya know! They eat it up every single time! Lemme ask you this…did that Jeremy guy ask for your number?”
Seeing Dean this upset made you think that he didn’t just have a little crush on you.
Feeling a little warm, you unbuttoned a couple of buttons on your blouse and stood up also. You were reluctant to answer him but finally said softly, “Yes, he did.”
“HA! I fuckin’ knew it! They always do and did you give it to him?” Asked Dean.
You started to answer before he interrupted you, “Dean…”
“Did you!?” He asked again.
Not wanting to confess your feelings first, you tried to stall.
“No, I didn’t!” You shouted.
The table was in between the two of you. Both of you were breathing heavily, your jawlines tight with anger and frustration, and the sound of your heart beating inside your chest was deafening.
“Oh yeah?! And why should I believe you, y/n?!” Dean growled.
“I’ve never given any of them my number, Dean! Not a single one!” You bellowed.
His expression softened as he asked, “Well…why not?”
After a long day, you couldn’t help but collapse onto the bed. You allowed your legs to give out and sat down on the edge of the mattress before answering him.
“Why do you think, ya big dumb animal?! Because the only guy's number I want in my phone is yours, Dean! And Sam’s but for different reasons. You know what I’m trying to say, stop looking at me like that.” You said, nervously.
He walked around the table, gazed down at you with his beautiful green eyes, they were the color of fresh blades of grass, and leaned over to inch his face closer to yours. The sprinkling of freckles across his nose was so youthful and adorable. You swallowed hard as you felt his breath against your eyelashes.
“And why do you think I get the way that I do when I see you flirt with other guys? You know why, don’t you sweetheart.” He said, melodiously.
Dean’s lips were ghosting over yours. You were silently begging him to just kiss you and kiss you hard. All the tension that had been building over the years was coming to a head right now. His tie dangled down from around his neck, you were dying to just pull him on top of you and find out what he tastes like…all of him.
“Because you want me as much as I want you?” You replied, gently touching his tie.
Still holding his tie, you inched yourself up toward the headboard. Dean followed your lead as you removed his tie and began to unbutton his dress shirt.
“I want you more.” He purred into your ear before his perfect lips crashed onto yours.
Dean covered your mouth with his own, devouring you with every kiss he placed on your lips, neck and jaw. You won the fight to be on top, although you were sure he let you win, and you continued to unbutton his shirt while he grasped clumsily at the buttons on yours.
They were small so he was having a hard time with them until you stepped in.
“I’ll do them, baby.” You whispered as he haphazardly tossed his clothes to the side.
You stood up and let your pants fall to your ankles while you finished unbuttoning your silk shirt. His desire for you was very apparent by the large tent in his boxers that you felt against your core as soon as you straddled him. The bottom of the shirt brushed against his thighs and goosebumps peppered across his skin.
You decided to let him finish undressing you.
Dean’s hands gently pushed your shirt off of your shoulders and all that was left was the black lace bra that was barely containing your breasts that he could not wait to get you out of. The man was a pro at unhooking your bra with one hand. If you didn’t want him so badly, you would have stopped to give him shit for it.
He lightly nipped the skin down the side of your neck, making you gasp when he got to the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. You felt like you could have come just by him biting down on that sweet spot. The growing ache between your thighs was torture and you desperately wanted him to touch you.
Like he read your mind, his strong hands migrated from your breasts down to your waist. Reaching in between your thighs, Dean teased your entrance with one finger, then slid another inside with ease.
“You’re soaked, sweetheart.” He whispered as a strangled moan escaped your lips.
To suffocate your screams, you bit down on your lower lip as he continued to move his talented fingers, hooking them in just the right spot to make you see stars, and drew circles on your clit to really tease you.
“Dean!” You pleaded, just before you hit your peak and tightly clenched around his fingers.
“You can be loud, baby. These kinds of places are used to noises like that, if ya know what I mean.” He said with a wink and a smirk.
You smiled back, pressed your lips to his, and lightly bit down on his bottom lip before starting to pepper kisses down his chest.
After pulling down his boxers, you took him into your mouth. A deep guttural moan and words of praise fled from Dean’s lips when your tongue circled the underside. That made him draw in a sharp breath as his fingers tangled in your hair.
“Fuck, that feels good, sweetheart.” He hissed and mumbled something else incoherently.
Crawling up his body, he slipped on a condom and then as you straddled him, you replied, “My mouth isn’t just for flirting, Dean.”
He slid into you with ease, burying himself to the hilt, causing you both to gasp before he cut your moan short with a hard kiss. You circled your hips slowly, allowing him to go deeper inside you, and it sent sharp tingles down your spine.
You pulled him in close as your walls began to tighten around him, clinging to him like your life depended on it with your climax starting to build.
Dean’s body was a warm cradle for yours as his fast abrupt strokes were about to send you over the edge and fast. But he loved to look at you so he pulled away slightly and watched your pleasure surge through you.
As you were riding out one orgasm, Dean managed to pull another one from you as you loudly called out his name like no one else was around which made him feral.
His movements became faster, more brutal, pulling out of you just so he could slam into you again and again as his body went rigid underneath you. Crushing your waist, his arms were wrapped around you so tightly that all of the air escaped your lungs.
His release came hard and fast, followed by a strangled moan while your bodies trembled from overstimulation. Dean’s eyes were wide and unfocused as he tried to catch his breath while you leaned in for a gentle kiss and let your fingers glide through his soft brown hair.
Collapsing on top of him, you smiled against his chest as his fingers tickled the outside of your arm and the only thing you could hear was Dean’s heart beating rapidly against your ear.
Trying to get your breathing under control, you covered yourself with the sheet and finally managed to ask, “So…does this mean you don’t want me to flirt for information anymore?”
Dean kissed the top of your head and replied, “As long as you come home with me, I’ll allow it.”
“ALLOW IT?! You’re not the boss of me, Winchester.” You said, sarcastically.
He licked his lips as you looked up at him through your long dark lashes.
In barely more than a whisper, he said, “Well what if I told you you’re really pretty and that I might be…in love with you?”
“Awww…you’re really pretty too!” You said, jokingly.
Dean rolled his eyes, “Alright, I’m tryin’ to—“
Wrapped up in the sheet, you sat upright, cupped his cheeks and pressed your lips to his, your tongue slipped into his mouth to tangle with his as a low growl escaped his lips.
“I might be in love with you too.” You whispered against his mouth.
Chasing each other’s smiles, he continued to kiss you until you heard a key in the door. Sam walked in, took one look at the two of you and without missing a beat said, “Oh good, you two worked it out. So I was thinking, I might know who—“
He stopped, looked at the two of you and shouted, “Guys…that’s MY bed!!”
You and Dean started to laugh.
Oops.
Tag List: @munsonownsmyass @gijos @stoneyggirl2 @vaguekayla
Others that might enjoy: @k-marzolf @jvanilly @fluffyprettykitty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @deans-spinster-witch @savorxe
If you would like to be added to(or removed from) my tag list(s) for this smexy Winchester, just let me know!
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dontbesoweirdkira · 7 months ago
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Hey, hi! You have very cool works, I really like reading you and always wait for your works. Please, do not leave us here alone.
I have a question: what can you say about a reader in the Mortal Kombat world (yandere) who has absolutely no emotional intelligence (like me)? Which yandere would be the scariest for such a reader, and which ones are the softest?
I don't mean that the reader will be cruel or heartless, but he is simply not in tune with emotions and cannot understand what others are feeling. As someone who suffers from this, I can say that I often don't notice how someone falls in love with me, and sometimes this leads to awkwardness
P. S. Who is your favorite fighter, if it's not a secret?
A/N: aww thank you for requestinggg. This is so camp. I struggle with empathy and similar things too. I went a little more broad with it. Alsooolo between mk11 and Mk1 there’s a big personality jump with a lot of characters so my answer is different depending on the game. Hopefully I did this request some justice.
(P.S. Kung Lao is my 1 fave and then Johnny. For female characters it’s Mileena and then scarlett. I like them crazy lol.)
Characters: I only did the ones I actually care about lol.
Warnings: This is purely my opinion based off of my interpretation of yanderes. Please bear in mind that when I write Yandere, it’s at extremes.
Requests: always open
Masterlist
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Safe Zone
Mk11 Fujin, Kotal Khan, Night wolf, Kuai Liang, Jax , MK1 Reptile, Raiden, Smoke, Baraka, both Liu Kang, Kenshi, both gerases
While you maybe aren’t intentionally trying to discard them or hurt their feelings, it doesn’t seem like it at first. Why are you so blank? How can you just shrug off a confession like that? Do you hate them?
Once they get to know you better by studying and observing your habits, they realize that this is simply the way you are. They are compassionate enough where they don’t really let it bother them anymore.
They have not only a legitimate love for you (under their deranged behaviors), but a lot of emotional intelligence. At their core, they have a bit more maturity on things like this compared to their counterparts. Especially Fujin and Kotal Khan, they’ve been here for ages and have dealt with many different personalities before. You’re not really the first person who has been emotionally shut off like this. Besides, it’s not like you’re showing someone else more love or attention than them so..whatevs
(If you do discard them for another person tho, they will raise hell about it and retract their compassion.)
They will be more direct and intentional about what they want and their feelings so it's not so confusing for you. I can also imagine them guiding and helping you understand them more by maybe taking a different approach towards empathy? Emotional intelligence can be improved and I think they’d be rather good at this. You might not be fully there on everything (depending on where this is stemming from) but you’d have a better grasp at least.
I will say though that at times they might get sad when you don’t initiate affection or respond emotionally how they’d ideally picture it. Especially if there’s absolutely no improvement after a while, they’d get manipulative. They’d make you believe you feel something that you actually can’t. Also might get a bit frustrated by your impulsivity, outbursts and isolation.
Danger Zone
Mk11Shang tsung,Kano,Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Erron Black, Hanzo Hasashi, Kabal, Dark Raiden,Baraka, Noob Saibot, Shao Khan MK1 Bi-Han Johnny Cage, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, General Shao, Kuai Liang, Kung Lao
They. Do. Not. Care.
All of these men have a massive ego that needs to be stroked and inflated by you. They want praise, love and affection. They want 100% of you. Yes, that includes emotionally.
They really don’t care what the reason is for why you are ignoring their advances, you will reciprocate. Their demands will be met and you are in love with them. Fake it good!
I hope you’re a quick learner because you have to pick up on their cues. You should know exactly what they need and when they need it. Your words should be ever so carefully chosen and your actions should have much enthusiasm.
There is no room for your mistakes and accidentally offending them, you will be punished for it. Mood swings and impulsively can result in reactive behaviors on their end.
Don’t make any of your interactions with them awkward in front of others. It isn’t funny to embarrass your “lover” like this.
No. you can’t be self centered. They are the center of your life. No. You cannot hold grudges against them. You should always forgive their actions. Aaaaand no. You really cannot ignore/not listen to them. How dare you.
Wait…it almost sounds like they are just as emotionally immature. Nahhh. They’re worse.
Yeah there’s no room for your Low EL, they need you to be a stable sounding board or else this relationship is going to be far more toxic than anything you’ve ever seen.
They’re completely far gone, no amount of explanation can save you. They will use any means necessary to get something out of you that isn’t even there in the first place. You are going to be everything they imagined you to be and more.
Conflicting feelings
Ngl kinda wanted to put Mk11 Johnny up top because I just am stuck on the fact that MK1 Johnny is a far worse Yandere. Like MK1 Johnny is older, mellowed out and is very mature at this point…but then I remembered his younger self. His mk11 younger version would be far more menacing than MK1. Mk11 Johnny Cage’s younger self would come out of him during his obsession. He can’t help but be an absolute asshat and forget all about his growth when it comes to you. Once a playboy always a playboy.
Kinda wanted MK1 King Lao in the top category aswell but…do I have to further explain. He’s definitely not as cocky and arrogant as his MK11 counterpart but he’s young, immature and impulsive. I don’t think he’d understand your low EL. It would drive him insane thinking that his darling isn’t reciprocating. He’d become rather aggressive and an egotistical monsterrrr in the process.
Kotal Khan really got me too because like he’s absolutely a lover boy but his heart isn’t as warm as it used to be.😭😭 debated putting him in the danger zone because there is so much potential for him to be cray cray but rewatching him and Jade interacting with each other made me choose the softer route. I think once he realizes you are just emotionally immature he’s just unphased by you. Like I can’t see him being that upset by his darling or something like that?? He’d be patient and understanding. He might’ve once been just like you but with time and age, he changed. So can you. Maybe I’m just being too generous?
Dark Raiden. I mean Raiden himself isn’t very intelligent when it comes to emotions. He’s goal and logically focused so I think he’d understand you. BUT what made me change my opinion was that dark! Raiden is completely corrupted and so is his way of thinking. He’s twisted and probably can’t really register your low EL. I think he’d perceive it as you being purposefully defiant towards him.
Mk1 Kuai Liang. People make him super soft and cuddly but Idk I feel like if I’m putting Bi-Han in the danger zone that it makes sense for his brother to be. They grew up in the same environment and Kuai is shown having similar or even worse traits to him. I don’t think he’s a saint. Smoke stands out more to me as someone who’d be softer. His voice lines and personality reflects that.
How do I even tag this 😩
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cressidagrey · 3 months ago
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The moment I could see it - Part 3
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Ariel Cane (Original Character)
Summary: 5 Times that Gianpiero Lambiase thinks that Ariel Cane and Max Verstappen are weirdly similar…and 1 time he is just happy that the two of them are no longer pining after each other. 
Warnings: 
GP's POV, mention of cancer, mention of parent's death
Author Notes: I am back to my old tricks...which means I write from the most random of POV's just because. (I once wrote a chapter from a dog's POV so like, GP doesn't even really count.
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It was actually quite stupid, GP reflected drily, that in 4 years of knowing both Ariel Cane and Max Verstappen...he had never even thought that one day they would be in the same room at the same time.
Even after Ariel had gotten a job in Red Bull's PR department straight out of uni.
It was just...two very different parts of his life. Colliding. Right in front of him.
And it was pure coincidence in a way...namely a meeting where they wanted an opinion from the Social Media Team...and suddenly, there was Ariel Cane walking into the room, with a smile on her face.
And there was Max Verstappen. Staring at her. Completely stunned. 
GP found himself silently hoping that Max wouldn't start drooling or do something equally embarrassing.
GP couldn't suppress a silent laugh as he witnessed Max's reaction to Ariel's entrance. Max looked positively gobsmacked as he gaped at her. He couldn’t help but watch the whole thing with a lot of amusement as Max stared at Ariel utterly stunned. 
Max, who GP had seen progress from a reckless speed demon to a more mature driver, but now was completely frozen, staring at Ariel as if he had never seen a girl before.
GP wasn't the only one who was amused by his reaction. Granted, Ariel was a very pretty girl, but the way Max was staring made it seem like she was the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on.
He couldn't help but find the whole situation entertaining. Max was usually so confident and laid-back, but now he looked completely out of his depth. 
Meanwhile, Ariel was completely unaware of the effect she was having on him. She was simply smiling warmly at the meeting attendees, not realizing that Max was staring at her like a love sick puppy.
Gianpiero exchanged a glance with a couple of his colleagues, who were also trying to hide their amusement. Clearly, they found the whole situation just as amusing as he did. It was rare for Max to be rendered dumbfounded like this. 
The meeting continued, with Ariel providing some insights for the Social Media Team. However, it was clear that Max struggled to concentrate on anything but her. He shot furtive glances in her direction, trying to be subtle but failing miserably. Luckily for Max, the meeting came to an end not long after, and everyone began to leave the room. GP watched as Max lingered behind, seeming like he wanted to say something to Ariel.
GP stepped in, noticing how Max was still staring at Ariel with a dreamy expression. He couldn't help but rib the young man a bit.
"Don't even think about it, Verstappen," he said dryly, amused by the situation.
Max looked at him, caught in the act of openly ogling Ariel, and his cheeks colored a bright red. 
"I wasn't..." he protested weakly before trailing off. The denial sounded rather half-hearted. 
GP just raised an eyebrow, silently saying 'yeah, sure you weren't.' He knew Max well enough to be able to tell when he was interested in someone, and right now, his interest was painfully evident.
"Actually I was thinking about offering her a job," Max blurted out.
GP could just stare at him.  He definitely hadn't expected Max to say that.
"A job?" he repeated, a hint of disbelief in his voice. "What kind of job are you planning to offer her?"
He watched as Max shifted awkwardly, clearly having blurted out the words without fully thinking it through."Well, I fired Sadie...so I need a new personal assistant."
GP’s eyebrows rose even further as Max explained the situation. He couldn't help but be taken aback by his impulsivity.
"You fired Sadie and now you want to hire Ariel as your new personal assistant? Just like that?" he questioned incredulously.
"She's good at her job!" Max defended himself. "Better that...literally all the rest of the PR team I need to deal with on a daily basis."
GP had to acknowledge that Max had a point. The PR team could be...eccenctric, to say the least. And it was true that Ariel was good at her job.
"Alright, I'll give you that," he admitted. "Ariel is talented. But if you think that she is simply going to do what you tell her to do…you are wrong. She’ll eat you alive,” he said with some amusement. “Her brother is our Head of electrical engineering. Have you met him yet? Tall, Red head? Only manages to come to work with the same pair of shoes on both feet around 80% of time and is  well known for working 48 hour stretches?”
"If they can't get him to stop, they call his little sister...and you don't want to be on her bad side when that happens." 
Max shifted uncomfortably, clearly realising the implications of what Gianpiero was saying. Ariel Cane was not someone to be trifled with. 
GP took a moment to reflect on the situation. Max, with his habit of getting into trouble, wanted to hire a young woman who was known for her no-bullshit, no-nonsense attitude...
Yeah, this was shaping up to be a disaster in the making. And GP was going to have a front row seat
But he couldn't help feeling a slight sense of schadenfreude. Sitting back and watching this unfold was going to be entertaining, in a chaotic and amusing kind of way. 
He didn't actually think, Max was going to go through with it.
Until Ariel showed up in his office days later.
"Tell me about Max Verstappen," she said calmly as she sat down in front of his desk. "What kind of boss is he?"
His eyebrows rose. 
"Well, he's not exactly my boss..." GP began. "But Max is a good kid. He's a raer, through and through. A bit impulsive and a bit...reckless, but he's a good guy...mostly."
He paused for a moment, considering how to describe Max as a boss.
"As a boss, he's...demanding," he continued. "He has high expectations and he expects you to give 110% at all times. But he's also fair and if you do your job, he'll be the first to give you credit for it."
"You aren't actually thinking about taking his offer, are you?" he asked her bluntly, unable to keep his surprise out of his voice.
Max was the unpredictable one. Ariel…Ariel wasn’t. Ariel always did what was expected of her. 
He didn't want to discourage her if she was serious about the position, but he also had some strong opinions about the potential working relationship between her and Max.
"Max is...a handful," GP warned her. "He can be demanding, impulsive, and more than a bit reckless. As his personal assistant, you'd have to put up with a lot of things most people wouldn't even think of. Are you sure you want to get yourself into that kind of situation?"
Ariel cocked her head to the side. "I like a challenge," she said drily.
GP couldn't help but let out a low snort. That answer both reassured him as well as concerned him.
He had known that Ariel would see this as a challenge, and he had no doubt she was more than capable of handling Max and his…behavior. 
"You like a challenge, huh?" he repeated, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Well, Max Verstappen sure as hell will be your biggest challenge yet. The hours will be long, the stress will be high, and you'll have to deal with a hell of a lot of Max's...antics."
He paused for a moment, giving her a hard look. He wanted to make sure she knew exactly what she was getting into with this job.
"You're more than capable of handling Max, I have no doubt. But be prepared for the ride of your life if you take on this job. Max is a handful, and I have no doubt he'll push your buttons. He'll probably drive you insane,” he warned her. “Do you think you can handle that?”
GP watched her closely, studying her expression for any hint of uncertainty or doubt. He was a good judge of character and could usually tell if someone was putting on a brave face. But if he was being honest, he couldn't detect any hint of hesitation on Ariel’s face.
Max could be a force of nature, more than most people could handle.
"Just keep in mind," he added, allowing himself a small smile. "Max is a race car driver. He's used to living his life at lightning speed. You'll need to keep up if you want to keep him on track."
There was a small smile blooming on Ariel's face.
"Oh, I expect nothing less," she said simply.
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