#or maybe they do work???? idk. i tried . apologie

[lighthouseas]

chapter 22 and chapter 23 of the strawberries are dying, the final chapters of my byler 1930s au, are now up.

enjoy the finale, everyone. it's been a wonderful 5 months with all of you :)

[jhxpper]

So I just finished watching Suits finale and I am not satisfied with it. Sure, this is exatcly what we could have been expecting from every point but that’s the problem, I guess? I know Suits is a show where you can predict anything from a scratch but seriously, this much?

I didn’t even like my babies’ wedding because of the whole “Sheila might die” stuff (even though I knew they wouldn’t let her die and give Louis a sad ending because if they dared do that, I would be in the first flight to the US to scream at Korsh’s door). I hated that they got married without their family. I hated that Harvey got married without his brother because his brother is his only family left. (I really do love Marcus and yes, I prefer Marcus to Mike for SO many reasons).

I hated that they got married like Louis doesn’t need them right night when he needed them the most because he was afraid he could lost the love of his life AND his child. He needed his bestfriends but they were both having fun like “Nah, doesn’t matter”. Plus, who gets married at someone else’s wedding with THEIR friends and family? Like Sheila’s family was there but they had to watch two strangers get married?

Also. Katrina deserved a fucking apologie. From Harvey. She didn’t get one and I don’t give a shit about what Alex said. She was right when she said she never heard of any of them until “the good new” and they asked for her help anyway? She was alone. The firm was everything to her. She doesn’t have a lot of friends (if any, really since Brian seemed to be her only real friend). Louis didn’t call her. Harvey didn’t talk to her. Donna didn’t try to talk to her. You know what? I was hoping Katrina would get her name on the wall, but the truth is? She deserved to go somewhere where she’s respected and loved for what she is. And this ain’t it. She deserved so much more. I was ready to forgive the lack of apologie when they’re all in the office after they get rid of Faye (getting on that later) if she was in there. But she wasn’t. This is garbage. My baby deserved to be managing partner at her own firm (and yes Samantha can go work with her, I don’t really care at this point).

And she needed to meet Marcus (don’t ask, I just wish they could have met and fall in love at first sight but that’s because I want them both to be happy).

Faye. She was supposed to be the big bad wolf of the season but I have mixed feelings about her. From where I stand, I understood her for the first 5 episodes. I didn’t always liked how she acted how the way she treated Louis or Donna, but I could understand her point and actually thought she was right in some way. So her sudden turn to be the Evil was some stupid move imo. But the worst is that Harvey got rid of her in what? Ten seconds by just saying he’s going to leave the firm and work at Seattle? This makes no sense. Not. At. All.

(Maybe I was counting on Harvey losing his licence a bit too much idk but I was seriously thinking that the finale could be at least as good as 816 but that’s not it).

And don’t get me started about Harvey and Donna going to Seattle to work with Mike. I hate this. I trully do. First of because this won’t work. Like yeah, they were great at the beginning but then, Mike started to think he was Better than Harvey and that lead to him being a jerk in 905 (lashing out of Harvey like that and not even apologies on the phone later on? even off screen? Not going talk to Harvey when he lost his mom but waiting for Donna to tell him to go see him? SERIOUSLY? what kind of friend is he? a shitty one if you ask me but that’s not the point). And everytime since, Mike kept yelling at Harvey, or blaming him. Because that’s what he does. Every. Single. Time. He always blame Harvey when the truth is he asked to stay at the firm when Harvey tried to fire him in the pilot. He blackmailed Harvey into staying. So no dude, this isn’t entirely Harvey’s fault okay? You were in on this when Harvey wasn’t because he didn’t want to lie to Jessica. So cut the bullshit and stop acting like you’re the perfect Prince because this ain’t it.

I don’t really know what I was expecting from the finale. I knew there were good chances that all of this was going to happen, doesn’t mean I was prepared or I liked it. I wanted Marcus to appear, I wanted Harvey to talk to his brother for real. I wanted Sheila going into labor without any superficial drama that came out of nowhere (like the doctors didn’t even looked at her but they can tell she and the baby are in danger? Come on, writers, you can do much better).

And I won’t talk about the fact that Darvey got married without Jessica, too. And that we didn’t see her even for a bit.

[catastrophic-creation-blog]

7/14/17

Tw sexual assault, R , abuse , mental health Idk what else

Weird day VERY very weird day I really don’t know what’s going on I didn’t realize it already 11:20 @ night I got off work at 10:30 I didn’t do much today I mowed the lawn and went to work listened to music allot the headphones my girlfriend gave me got damaged in transit but I fixed them at least temporarily the aux cord has to be in at just the right angle and the cord that came with them I couldn’t get to stay so I got a new one and I’ve been touching my ring allot low key been touching my ring all day and disassociating quite a bit but I’m okay I kinda don’t want her to see this post I don’t know what is gonna make her feel like she’s baby sitting just like she went back today and when she was here I always thought if there was an emergency with my parents I could hang with her and Logan until I could figure something out I completely forgot for about a month how scared I am to be here I knew if anything would happen I could message her and she would know just what to do I tried to have a picnic with her the last day I saw her even though it was super rainy I really want to make her happy and safe like she makes me like even talking to her mom still feels more safe then letting myself be in the moment and realize I’m stuck here with my mom and dad they say I need to get up and do things but when I’m awake and not talking to huntyr or out of the house I’m completely miserable I don’t want to be here and when I was suicidal I thought here meant earth I thought I didn’t want to be on earth but as I’m getting older I’m realising I do want to be on earth just not in the same area of earth as my parents I’d honestly rather go to foster care than be here I thought about making the calls to get me put somewhere else until my dad And I had this conversation I grabbed my phone off the charger and he said give it to me I said no sturnley so he grabbed my wrist leaving a red mark and I handed it over that was as soon as I woke up after I went pee I said “ you can’t put your hands on me people can’t just hurt each other !!!” He said “ do you want to bet ?” I said no he said “ if you’re SO confident then call the police I dare you I’d just explain the situation and say you’re being an unruly child and you would go and you wouldn’t go to your sisters house or your aunts ” he meant bed get me locked up for being an unruly child my mom and dad are ganging up on me I don’t know what to do my mom has always said they saying “ you can’t let the inmates run the prison ” when talking about dealing with Children but I genuinely feel like I’m in prison on lock down my mom always has to make it clear I am not equal to her or any adult I’m not even allowed to call her soon to be husband Dan or even Danny I have to call him “ Mr. Danny ” she had me call him “ Mr Baldwin ” for like a week because she thought it was funny I’m realising how manipulate she is when I was little I loved my mom and would do LITERALLY ANYTHING she wanted me to do that’s why I was never hit with the belt when I was in time out it wasn’t called time out it was called “ thinking about what I did wrong” and I’d write a song or a apologie I think the people who put me in foster care were wrong and right maybe she doesn’t have facticios disorder but she is abusive I just have loved her for so much for so long I wouldn’t listen to reason I thought flat out I owe her everything because when I was suicidal and depressed she kept me from killing myself she went on suicide watch from the moment I woke up to the moment I felt asleep but I do not owe her anything something really bad was less than two minutes away from happening and when I got in the car after getting away from the situation she screamed at me for being late she still knows I was sexually assaulted and said as long as I wasn’t r'ed it didn’t matter but if I was r'ed she would have killed him but I guess it wasn’t enough to do anything and I didn’t even tell her anything until at least three days later because I was scared not of him but her all I could remember was getting yelled at for being late and her starting to drive off before I got her attention I couldn’t bare the thought of getting yelled at again if that shows anyone anything like it’s shown me I think they’d understand more how scary she is last time I lived here before moving in with my dad my mom in a fit of rage threatened to “ beat my ass and throw me in the trunk of her car and drive me up to my dad’s ” for talking back i don’t know how to live I quiver in fear more than I even say “ no ” in this house saying no is not an option if you say no you are disobedient and are in trouble saying no will get you screamed at that you have to if you continue saying no they will scare off everyone you have if you say no they will take everything I don’t mean like your phone or your laptop you will not be allowed to read a book if you’re lucky you will be allowed to watch the show everyone else is watching you will not be allowed to go to work you will not be allowed to leave the house with out a parent I don’t know what to do anymore I don’t want to burden my girlfriend I don’t want to feel like she has to baby sit me oh and today is my mom's birthday so it's been even weirder and more blurry