#or maybe my idea of a spoiler is skewed since I've played the games?

[moku-youbi]

Fallout is seriously almost everything I could ever dream of or hope for out of an adaptation to my all time favourite video game series, and the game that was my gateway to gaming. It captures the soul of the games in a way that is downright astonishing at times, to the point that I felt I was playing the game at many points. Even hating Maximus felt appropriate, given how I feel about the Brotherhood of the Steel (fuck those assholes fr, fr). Titus the absolute tool, I'm over here like:

The way he's freakin' out, I'm like oh shit, it's a Deathclaw. Nope, just a yao guai. And you're in POWER ARMOUR, douchebag. You don't deserve it, that much is true. A little sad we didn't see Mirelurks, but that gulper was a thing of real beauty. My new favourite monster, sorry Cazadors!

Like dear GOD the vaults were so beautifully done. If I could walk through that set I would *cry* it's so real and perfect--the furniture! the wallpaper! the appliances! the SPECIAL skills! (Lucy, girl, let's talk about your stats tho babe). Also just dying thinking of what the antis are gonna say about all the incest and laughing my ass off. They captured Vault-Tech in all it's bastard glory. The entire time I'm on the edge of my seat like omg, what's it gonna be, what's it gonna be??

And the wasteland? All the background characters and sets--chicken fucker! Barv! Dale! The water filter guy was pure fucking genius. RED ROCKET??? GORGEOUS. NEW VEGAS??? Are we gonna see HOUSE??? (though sadly without Rene Auberjonois to play him, legit heart-breaking). and DOGMEAT, MY LOVE!!!! She is the *best girl*

And don't even get me started on the food, I was about to start crying. Do you know how long I've wanted to try blamco mac n cheese or YumYum devilled eggs (my wife was like unrefrigerated eggs wtf and I'm like shut your mouth I KNOW they're delicious, I KNOW IT IN MY SOUL)? To drink a nuka cola? To try Fancy Lads Snack Cakes? And it was all there on the screen looking so real!

And the pip boys and computers!! OMG, every time someone used their pip boy, or when they pulled up the records, and the hacking scene? I was like LET ME DO THIS, I AM SO GOOD AT THIS MINIGAME PLS!!!!

Coop doing his thumbs up???

Beautiful. Magnificent. Absolute Perfection, except...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE COMPHET??? From a game that was way ahead of its time with queer characters and allowing you to romance either gender regardless of player gender, and even offering perks related to being queer, and where romance isn't the focus anyway--like sure, you can woo most of your companions, but that's really only if you want to, and definitely not the point. So why shoehorn this AWFUL romance subplot into something that was truly perfect without it?? It made me distinctly unhappy at several points because it was so shoehorned and unnatural. And like, them boning? Okay, casual sex is a thing in the fallout verse. But making it this love story that made NO SENSE and wasn't developed at all, and relied on the ridiculous boy and girl make eye contact, so obviously they fall in love trope is so fucking lame. Lucy has more chemistry with Coop. She had more chemistry with HER OWN COUSIN. Come *on*.

Let's talk, Nolan.