#or maybe all my Preexisting Conditions symptoms really did get worse than any extent im even fuckin aware of
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dont think ive ever felt this nauseous and doubtful about just. sharing anything. on my own blog in soooooooo long lol the simultaneous hunger for validation/recognition/acknowledgement/understanding and utterly paralyzing terror of being misinterpreted/maligned/just plain ol' forgotten about or deemed too insignificant/uninspiring/unapproachable for connection is enough in combination to give me headaches.
idk i feel as though i might never shake off the perpetual panicked feeling of desperately needing to get my shit together despite the degree of together my shit actually is, all things considered and compared to where i used to be
#doesnt help that every time i get sick i have the nugget of neural damage knowledge from covid in the back of my mind#like haha what if i feel like this Forever#or maybe all my Preexisting Conditions symptoms really did get worse than any extent im even fuckin aware of
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