#or like how he knows everyone’s birthday beard just knows people’s passwords?

[coachbeards]

i think so much abt how not only did beard For Some Reason have Higgins’s phone, but he also like. Deleted some of his apps???

Chat, what is wrong w beard???

[weasleypogues]

written in the stars (f.w. au) pt. 3

thanks for supporting guys it means sosososoososos much!!!! i love this little fic sm so this is so much fun! this is the final part!!! again requests are open <3 

taglist:  @daddystevee @nojamsonmytoast @thebadassbitchqueen @hogwarts-babe

hope you enjoy!! xx :)

masterlist. part 1. part 2. 

unironically, you felt the need for a towel for a quick second because of the sweatiness of your palms. you were walking towards the gryffindor common room with malia, jada, and cedric. excitement and anxiety were bubbling inside of you the closer you got towards the party. 

“are you sure theres a party? it sounds quiet?” jada asked malia, somewhat nervously. she had her eyebrows furrowed and didn’t want to make the mistake of four random hufflepuffs walking into the gryffindor common room.

“yeah, i’m sure hermione granger put up some kind of charm to keep out the noise. plus, (y/n)’s soulmate confirmed it anyways.” malia responded, sending a playful wink your way. a smile crept onto your face and it would’ve been your wand that you grasped your hand around in excitement but instead it was the marble and slightly cold pen. 

“balderdash.” cedric spoke to the painting. the fat lady looked at him and rolled her eyes, acknowledging that he wasn’t a gryffindor but if she heard the password she would let him in. the fat lady made a mental note to change the password on her own terms. the portrait swung open and you walked through a slight haze as if someone turned on the heater and you could see it in the air. as you passed that hazy barrier, the bass of the music vibrated through your body. the lights were turned off but charmed bright red lights took it’s place and the room was crowded.

cedric and malia broke off to say hi to a couple of friends. you made your way over to ginny weasley with jada by your side and tapped her on the arm, eager to say hi to your friend. there was a time during the triwizard tournament that you got on the same boat as her to go to the second task. you watched as she scolded her two brothers for being too mean when trying to sell their pranking candy and chuckled. you hopped on the boat with jada and another roommate and she was shy but wanted to hop on as well.

“(y/n)! happy birthday!! im so happy to see you!” she exclaimed and didn’t hesitate to pull you into a hug. you returned the hug and had a small conversation with her. however, you felt somewhat bad when she started a conversation and you couldn’t help but let your eyes dart around the room, as if there would be a bright sign and an arrow pointing over someone’s head that read “(y/n)’s soulmate!”

ginny noticed your distracted eyes and caught your attention again, “looking for your soulmate?” she asked with a smirk and her eyebrows raised. you felt your cheeks get hot and nodded before letting out a deep breath.

“i think he’s in gryffindor. seems to be somewhat forgetful of the common room password.” you announced and she laughed, playfully rolling her eyes.

“i know way too many people like that in this house. you’d think people would learn by now.” ginny joked. her next sentence was cut off by the unison yelling of two redheaded boys standing on the table with two bottles of daisyroot drought. they both shook them very hard and popped off the caps, spraying the crowd below them as if it were champagne, leaving everyone soaked. most students opened their mouths or cheered along. you laughed and rolled your eyes playfully, pulling out your pen and writing on your arm.

will definitelyyyyy need a towel after the stunt the twins just pulled

you laughed to yourself and stuck the pen inside your pocket and glanced back up at the twins, ready for another shower of daisyroot drought. while george had a giant smile on his face, fred had the bottle in his right hand and was using a free pointer finger to lift up the sleeve of his shirt on his left arm.

you felt a lump in your throat and intently watched him read it. you grabbed jada’s arm next to you as you were frozen watching fred read the sentence to himself and smirking.

“jada.”

“what’s up?” she replied, a little loudly over the booming music. 

“fred weasley.” you said loud enough so she could hear but in a good enough volume that people may not look over. this, weirdly enough, didn’t include ginny.

“what about him? did he get too much drought in your eyes?” ginny joked and laughed, but her smile turned into her eyebrows furrowing as she stared at your shocked face.

your eyes were still upon fred who was deparately patting around his shirt and pants, trying to find the pen he realized he must’ve misplaced. he looked frazzled and hopped down from the table.

“is fred- you know?” jada replied, eager evident in her voice and her eyes basically sparkling for you.

“wait, fred is your soulmate?” ginny basically yelled and you covered her mouth with your hand to get her to shut up. if you were wrong, that would’ve just been embarrassing. 

“i think?” you said, chuckling and your shocked face soon came to the realizaiton of how happy you were. you couldn’t stop your fingers from tingling and bringing the hand that was once on ginny’s mouth, back to yours. ginny was beaming and wrapped her arms around you.

“ugh i hope so! my future sister in law!” she exclaimed and you laughed.

“don’t get too excited, i haven’t confirmed it yet.” you reminded her, your face feeling hot at the thought of marrying fred weasley.

“let me go ask him for you!” ginny said, basically on her way to confront her older brother. you grabbed her arms, your eyes wide and shook your head.

“don’t! because if it isn’t and you ask him about it, that would be so embarrassing.” you stated, worry filling up the tone of your voice. you saw george getting down from the table acknowleding the disappearence of his brother and spotted some fellow gryffindors to talk to. although, you couldn’t spot fred.

“no, (y/n), you don’t understand! it makes sense! he mentioned to george today that he just started talking to his soulmate!” ginny reassured you and grabbed ron’s arm as he was innocently passing by.

“bloody hell, ginny! do something about those claws of yours!” ron whined and exasperated, glaring at his little sister.

“(y/n) is fred’s soulmate!” she said, her smile emitting towards his direction and his annoyed face turned into shock.

“wait! we aren’t totally sure yet!” you said, your heart rate increasing at the fact that at this rate, ginny would tell the entire weasley lineage before you could confirm it with fred himself.

“go up to him now! i don’t know how much longer i can hear of him talking about not knowing his soulmate, five months of talking everyone’s ears off. worst case scenario, he’s not.” ron said, basically screaming over the loud music. you laughed in response but took what he said in, everything was really making sense.

“what are you guys up to?” you heard a deep and familar voice ask from beside you. you looked up and your heart dropped for a second but slowly fluttered up as you identified that the man infront of you wasn’t fred, but george. you admired the similarity in features for a second before ron’s voice snapped you out of it.

“(y/n) is fred’s soulmate!” ron exclaimed and your hands lifted to your face in stress in an instant.

“merlin’s beard, are all the weasley’s this terrible at keeping secrets?” you inquired, your face going hot, for what felt like the 100th time since coming into the common room. ron’s face looked sheepish but you felt george’s eyes on you.

“are you serious? thank god, he never stops talking about you! let me get him, he can’t find his pen!” george said but you grabbed his arm before he could go on his journey to find his frazzled twin looking for his pen. you let out a stressed breath and paused.

“wait, he talks about me?” you asked, a gleam of hope sparkled in your eye. george smiled and rolled his eyes, “yeah, i never hear the end of it.”

your nerves felt calmer and you looked around. “fuck it, i’m going to look for him.” you stated, feeling a sudden gryffindor courage. fred’s siblings all had similar happy expressions and you chuckled, realizing fred didn’t only have an identical twin but basically an identical family. you glanced at jada and she gave you a thumbs up before you took off. 

it didn’t take long to find fred, seeing as he was above six foot and had vibrant hair. you saw him rummaging in open spots of the common room and under pillows and chairs. “lost something?” you asked, trying to sound unknowing. 

he glanced up immediately at the sound of your voice and a smile formed on his face at the sight of you. “to your surprise, i actually enjoy spending my time organizing furniture and making sure it looks up to par.”

you laughed at his joke and rolled your eyes, feeling as if your heart was going to beat out of your chest. “here, take my pen since you lost yours.”

fred reached out to grab it for a second before putting it together, “how did you know i lost my pen?” 

“kind of put it together that you could be a forgetful person. first the gryffindor common room password, than your pen...you have a track record, weasley.”

a smirk formed on his face and he was putting the pieces together. the smirk soon transformed into a softer smile and a sparkle shone in his eye at the sight of you. you drew a tiny heart on your wrist to see if it would show up on his, to prove your theory right. you saw glitter light from his wrist and your eyes met.

“i guess that settles the mystery.” fred stated, a giant smile on his face as the black ink disappeared from both of your wrists. “can i?” he asked.

he walked towards you slightly learning in before you smiled and nodded. he let his hands make their way to cup your face and pulled you in for a kiss. you felt yourself slightly on your tippy-toes and let yours hands make their way to his torso, deepening the kiss. you suddenly heard cheering and the both of you pulled away, calmer than before. you glanced over at the sound and saw cedric, jada, malia, the weaselys, and most of their friends cheering and clapping, excited for the two of you. 

your face went hot and you got slightly embarrassed at all the attention before letting your head burrow into fred’s chest, laughing. you felt his body vibrating at he laughed too, wrapping his arms around your head and pulling you somehow closer to his body warmth. 

“i knew it would be you.” fred whispered into your ear before planting another kiss on the top of your head. 

“it was written in the stars.” you responded with before leaning in for another kiss.

[allaboutwannaone-blog]

soulmate!jihoon

genre: fluff word count: 2.4k author’s note: this is my first time writing a soulmate au,, it kind of sucks IM SORRY (p.s. being the stupidest person ever, I deleted this after posting it yesterday)

• in this universe, where the swirls of every other colour merge together in a magically fascinating harmony is accompanied with the adornment of countless stars, you, a person so small as compared to the big, big world, were lucky enough to be born with a soulmate.

• you’ve heard many tales of people doomed to be alone forever. in fact, your very own younger sister tragically has that same fate. of course, a person can fully well be independent. but let’s face it, while everyone else can feel their soulmates’ emotions alongside with their own, you can’t help but think that you have been condemned for not being able to do so. you’ll feel that a part of you is missing, which indeed, it is.

• thankfully, you were born to a lucky predicament, and you get butterflies whenever you think about your significant other. (well, your about-to-be).

• in the kingdom that you live in, whatever you feel, your soulmate feels it as well.

• that’s why whenever he feels something, you try to find ways to make him feel better.

• when he feels happy, you watch funny videos to get him even more excited. same goes for when he feels sad; the dose of memes always works, with the release of endorphins from your side, his spirit gradually soars.

• you were grateful to be able to have someone destined to be with you (trust me, it makes the ‘searching for your Prince Charming’ part way easier), and even more so to have found such a sensitive and nice one.

• he seemed to return the favour, and you’d find something tickling your funny bone whenever you got bad results or cry over a sad movie. (though it kind of makes you look crazy at times when you suddenly laugh through your tears.)

• you, and i’m sorry if this sounds shallow or weird, kind of just-

• just fell in love with the way he cared for you in that sense. you were afraid that he would be unfeeling and stoic before you began feeling him at the age of ten, but it seemed like it went right for you. perhaps falling in love was too deep of an emotion, but it certainly made you feel all warm inside when these deliberate gestures all but strengthen your bond with him.

• you fantasised about the day you would meet him. would you be casually taking a stroll down the road when you see him? would you crash into him, would he help you pick up the things you dropped, and would you two make eye contact and everything would fall into place?

• but then reality hits.

• how were you supposed to find your soulmate?

• other kingdoms have different ways to identify them, such as unique barcodes or countdown timers, tattoos, red threads or some fancy way but all you folks get is an ambiguous, shitty method. that’s why your realm actually has the lowest percentage of people finding their The Ones, and naturally divorce rates go up as well.

• ‘but you ain’t gonna suffer this fate, my love.’ your imaginary fairy godmother says in her small little cottage in the woods. ‘you are a special one, mi darling, mi chocolate croissant, pumpkin cake.’

• you were born just a minute before the grandfather clock struck twelve on 29th may. it was a miraculous birth because you were thought to not be able to make it due to your mother’s poor health at that point of time, and she had barely made it to the hospital before you popped out of her womb.

• but a secret you’ve recently uncovered from your parents for soulmates that have the same birthdays gave you a small, tiny ball of burning hope that maybe, just maybe, would you find your soulmate.

• it is something very, very rare and exquisite, something along the lines of being ‘one in a million’. it was almost as if it was part of folklore, a story parents would tell their children before stroking their hair and tucking them into their beds.

• they say that an opportunity, a superbly special one at that, would come for you to switch bodies with your soulmate. how long, you ask. certainly not a day. no, it is not even an hour. one minute is all you get, and in that measly sixty seconds, you can do whatever you want in his or her body, but the most logical thing to do would be to leave an address or phone number so that you could meet up.

• it was nearly impossible and you thought nothing of it, brushing off the flicker of hope inhibiting your heart with the notion that it was just a wishful myth for desperate people seeking for affirmation.

• until…

• it really did happen to you. one day.

• it was just another day in your boring, mundane life. you woke up with the usual bed hair in the morning, dragged your feet to school and then dragged it back with even more force when you came back because of all the assignments dumped on your shoulders. after a quick shower, you settled on your bed, procrastinating like you usually do since it’s your favourite pastime. minutes became hours, and soon it was nighttime. just then, your younger sister came in, lunged herself on your bed and started chatting with you.

• somehow, five minutes into the talk, you started feeling dizzy, and it was doubled with your soulmate feeling the same as well. (in case you were wondering how you knew he felt that way, it is kind of inexplicable, but something in your subconscious mind singles that train of emotions out for you.)

• nothing registered in your mind, and all you knew was that you were falling, falling… (FOR YOUR LOVE HEY YOU)

• after what seemed like five billion years, you found yourself standing in the middle of an unfamiliar sidewalk. you were, by then, confused out of your mind. especially with the feeling that something uncomfortable was sitting in your trousers.

• TROUSERS???? you definitely weren’t wearing trousers and you certainly didn’t have a snake in there when you last checked. *blushes*

• the signboards around you told you that you were still somewhere in seoul, and not sucked into a wormhole to mars, but since it was so big, you had no idea where you were.

• something clicked in your mind, and that seemingly impossible story that reverberated through it didn’t seem so impossible anymore.

• then, another wave of panic gripped you suddenly when you realised that if you aren’t actually dreaming right now, you have possibly just spent half a minute mentally breaking down and that YOU. HAVE. TO. GET. TO. WORK. IMMEDIATELY.

• whipping out the cellphone that was in the jacket he wore (and what you are wearing currently), you decided to record a video since you didn’t want to snoop nor did you have his password.

• you turned it into selfie mode and a part of you died.

• literally. because holy shizzles, this man is hotter than the surface of the sun, than the darning metal railings in summer (and that is really, very darning hot). after admiring his visuals for a very short while since you were tight on time, you (reluctantly) started recording your voice. (with the video blacked out because you didn’t want to get distracted by his face and waste even more time.)

• “so, haha. i’m, um, y/n and this is a really weird of meeting you. i actually don’t know how you feel about this entire soulmate thing or whether you want to actually meet or not, so i’ll just leave you with my phone number and it is up to you to decide whether you want to contact me. it’s XX-XXXX-XXXX, see you maybe?”

• a few seconds after you end the video, you were blasted back into your room to be met with the confused countenance of your sister.

• you: “the feck just happened?”

• her: “i actually have no idea what happened, but his name is jihoon, his surname is park, i think? he’s nineteen, AND he said that he has been wanting to meet you for years but he’s scared you won’t like him, but for most of his short stay here he was freaking out about how he had boobs.”

• you: “he,, said he wanted to meet,,, me???”

• her: “…yes.”

•��you, mushing your head in your pillow: “asfghjkl, ##1234#5#&&&&””””????”

• five minutes later, you received a notification and saw that a ‘park jihoon’ had added you on kakao talk. you were literally shaking because this is your first time interacting with a beautiful guy, or any beautiful guy for the matter of that fact. (and because his visuals in his profile picture made you feel all sorts of things you never thought you were capable of feeling.)

• and you were mentally cringing at your username because seriously???? iamthememeyoufightme??? what hell was fifteen-year-old self thinking???

• your fifteen-year-old self: “wEELLL hoW wOUL;d I KNOW tHAT mY SOULmaTE iS A GREEK gOD?!?!?!?”

• but your heart stopped because his status was “i’m nineteen, you fight me?”

• a coincidence??? well i think not *strokes non-existent long beard*

• jihoonsucks: hi, nice username

• iamthememeyoufightme: hi, nice status

• jihoonsucks: :)

• iamthememeyoufightme: :)

• jihoonsucks: anyway,, y/n??? wanna meet?

• iamthememeyoufightme: HELL YEAH

• iamthememeyoufightme: i mean, hell yeah, but in a softer voice

• jihoonsucks: OKAY

• jihoonsucks: i mean, okay, but in a manlier voice

• iamthememeyoufightme: hehehehehehehee

• jihoonsucks: hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

• jihoonsucks: I HAVE MORE HEHEs

• iamthememeyoufightme: very well

• iamthememeyoufightme: but i have more chins :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

• and so, your playful and light hearted friendship/relationship began with jihoon from then.

• the effect he had on you was obvious, because you would drop everything and rush to your phone to reply him whenever he texts you. (your heart beat boxes every time he sends something, like pftbtbtbtbtbtbtpftkswaaaararrttt)

• your friends and family all tease you about it e ve r y single time. (“young love,” they chorused, pretending to be grossed out at you smiling at your phone yet again, for the trillionth time that day, even though they’re just secretly proud parents.)

• but jihoon was really the sweetest thing ever.

• he would greet you good morning every time, send you memes that would have you rolling on the floor, be really concerned whenever you tell him you were sick or injured.

• you’ve set the meeting date to be two weeks from now, and as the clock ticked and time passed, you found yourself getting more and more nervous because,,, you were really falling for him.

• especially when he sends things like this

• jihoonsucks: honestly i want to thank you always being by my side these few years. it was really comforting whenever you could sense my emotions and cheer me up when needed. thanks for being so kind and caring and i’m just saying all of these here before i meet you because i’ll be too shy to say it then.

• *inserts a picture of you speeding to the hospital on a stretcher*

• ^ that was the same reaction you had when your sister recounted that when he was in your body that minute,, he turned to the mirror and said, “what the hell, i’m so pretty.” but you figured she probably said it to boost your ego a little :“) (BUT NO IT WAS THE TRUTH YOU IDIOT)

• little did you know,, he was feeling the exact same way too!!! his best friends whom he lives with in a dorm snatches his phone and texts you sometimes, and had changed your contact to "y/n💖😭😚😍😘💗💕💞💓” (which he hasn’t changed up till now ;)) they never let him live it down and he just fuels their teasing by turning a bright shade of red whenever your name comes up in their conversation.

• finally, the day came. you woke up at the crack of dawn even though you guys were meeting at 11am and you were just like wtf @ yourself because it was only 5.30am.

• nevertheless, you took a loooooong bath while playing with your rubber duckies, tried to pick out an outfit for three hours, fussed over your hair and makeup for one hour, freaked out for yet another hour before leaving your house nervously.

• (and guess what?? even though jihoon didn’t wake up as early as you, he woke up at 9 o'clock, which was just about the best compliment ever because he is always, always late for meetings with friends…plus he spent more than an hour styling his hair because every. strand. matters.)

• you reached the rustic and cozy cafe you’ve agreed to meet at fifteen minutes early, hence you ordered a matcha latte before finding the booth beside the window to sit at. you were trembling just a tiny bit, and you were mentally scoffing at yourself like, “what in tarnation is wrong with you, you’re neither a hermit nor a hot-men-deprived woman, you are a female with high dignity and shall not be wavered by a boy whom you have never met in real life before.” (even though you knew that you were indeed both a hermit and a hot-men-deprived woman who does not have much dignity and has already been wavered by a boy whom you have never met in real life before.)

• just then, you were hit by another pang of anxiousness, but it was alongside a surge of exhilaration. you recognised the two emotions to be jihoon’s and just a second later, the bells attached to the door tinkled, signalling that someone had come in.

• to say that you were bewitched by him was the understatement of the country. you were entirely enthralled, engrossed, enamoured with him, the way he carries himself, the charisma that seem to radiate from him despite his shy steps towards you, even his mismatched neon yellow and pink shoelaces.

• he looked around the cafe before spotting you, the small smile on his face widening into a bigger grin as he walked over.

• “feck, you are so good-looking, god damn it. i wanted to be the hot one in the relationship,” you meant to come up with a slick and smooth greeting,, but silly you blurted that out instead.

• his eyes widened and a tint of pink appeared on his cheeks.

• in unison, you both said, “UM,,,, RE.LA,,TIONSHIP?????”

• you, overthinking: ‘dang it, he’s bound to think i am this weird person who wants to move super fast, what if he thinks that i just want to get into his pants??!?!?!?!!?!??!?!? what if he wants out of this and will never text me anymore????@?!?!?!?!?’

• but contrary to your pessimistic way of thinking, he’s like

• “,,, i guess u can call it a relationship now”

• *shyly takes ur hand* *blushes**chuckles and covers his face with his other hand*

• rest in peace, heart.

[dresupi]

Santa Baby

Pairing:  Darcy Lewis/Phil Coulson For:  @hollyspacey Prompt:  ‘Santa Baby’ by Madonna Rating:  T Word Count:  1735

[Read it on Ao3]

Check out the [25 Days of Darcyland Masterlist] for more holiday themed fics!  I’m posting one a day until December 25!

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this…" Phil muttered under his breath.  

Darcy had to suppress a laugh, because she couldn't really believe it either.  "Oh hush.  You look holly-jolly and bowl-full-of-jelly and all that jazz. Kris Kringle." She winked in Phil's direction and he shot her daggers from behind his half-moon specs.  "Plus, everyone loves it. You've had like twenty people in your lap tonight."

She'd actually been kinda jealous of all the people who got to sit in Phil's lap.  Apparently her plan of getting him in a Santa suit had done nothing for her little libido problem.  

Okay, that was a lie.  It was a big libido problem.  She was crushing hard on her boss and was pretty sure he had no idea.  

"I know," he said deliberately.  "I've had twenty people in my lap tonight…"  

"You're making everyone's holiday wishes come true."  

Everyone's except hers, but considering he didn't have a clue about her feelings or what her holiday wish even was, she wasn't going to blame him for that.

"These are adults, Darcy.  Not a single one of these people believes in Santa anymore. Plus, I think half of those agents want you in their lap and not to..." he trailed off for a moment before continuing, "...sit in mine."  

There was only one lap she wanted to sit in.  

Darcy subconsciously reached down to straighten her green and red elf skirt.  The bells jingled. "It's a holiday party, Phil.  Everyone's having fun.  Come on, Scroogey Claus. Don't you want some punch?"    

"Is it spiked?"  

"Your memo said specifically not to spike the punch, so I'd say it's probably only been spiked three times by now…"

"Then give it another half hour, I want a decent buzz."  

She reached into the bowl of candy canes, unwrapping one and sticking the end in her mouth.  "C'mon, admit it.  This is fun.  You wouldn't be doing the Santa laugh if it wasn't fun."  

"It's not me, it's the suit.  I don't know… it's like I'm being compelled beyond my control."  

She laughed. "Yeah, that's the holiday spirit.  I'm told it's painful for first timers, but ya know. It gets better."

"I've had holiday spirit before," he argued.  

"Yeah.  On Captain America's Birthday."  

"You mean the Fourth of July?"  

"Same difference," she said with a smirk. She giggled a little, and then nearly jumped out of her skin when Clint tapped her shoulder. She was really getting sick of all these assassin-types sneaking up on her. Not cool, guys.  Not cool.    

"Heya, Princess Pinky Pie, Can we get a photo with Santa?" he asked.  

"Okay, first off, I am not a magical pink pony princess, I am one of Santa's most esteemed elves.  And my name is Pinky Perky-Pants… and next…" She turned, looking vaguely around for other people and seeing no one.  "We? Where is this 'we' of which you speak?  I only see you, Hawkguy."  

"We as in 'you and me'?"  Clint grinned.  "I want the elf in my picture too…gonna send it to Tony.  Legolas and Pinky Pie with Santa."  

"Pinky Perky-Pants and who's gonna take the picture, genius?"  Darcy asked, thinking she'd outsmarted the archer. "This is a two man operation.  He's the lap, I'm the snap…"  She held out her phone and mimed taking a picture.  

"I will,"  Natasha said, suddenly right behind Darcy and speaking in her left ear.  She jumped again, nearly dropping her phone, but the assassin caught it and and deftly unlocked it despite Darcy never having told her the password. But Darcy Lewis hadn't been surprised in approximately six years, so she took it in stride.  "C'mon, Darce.  It's Clint's only Christmas wish…"  

"To get a picture with Santa and the elf?" she asked incredulously.  

"Yep, definitely."

"I'm the elf too," Clint insisted, a whiff of his breath hitting her face and making her realize that her earlier predictions about the punch were directly on the nose. 

"Okay…"  Darcy turned to find Clint already settling into Phil's lap, looking very pleased with himself.  Darcy perched primly on Phil's left leg, trying not to put all her weight on him.  

Phil grunted a little. "Barton.  What are they feeding you? Lead?"  

"Just eatin' my wheaties, Coulson…" Clint grinned widely.  

Darcy shifted a little bit, trying to get more centered so she wouldn't tip.

That proved to be her undoing, though, because as Natasha was counting down, Clint slid unceremoniously to the floor and either accidentally or purposefully kicked Darcy's leg out of the way, sending her sprawling across Phil's lap.  Which was of course, how Natasha snapped the picture.  

Phil grabbed her before she hit the floor, and it would have been very romantic, had they not been dressed up like some kind of Rankin-Bass stop motion special.  

Darcy might have had a thing for older men, but Santa was really pushing the envelope.

Even though the knowledge that it was Phil behind the white beard was making her second guess her kinks.

"That's a good picture, that's going out in the email on Monday…" Natasha said, grinning widely as she admired her handiwork.  

"Nat…" Darcy protested, struggling to sit up and get to a standing position ASAP.  "Come on…"  

"Hey, here's an idea," Clint said, hopping up from the floor.  "Why don't you give me the Santa hat, I'll do the rest of the photo ops and you guys can go… get…"  

"Holly-Jolly?"  Natasha filled in, grinning widely.  

Darcy rolled her eyes, because obviously there was a plot here.  She grabbed the hat off Phil's head, tossing it to Clint.  

"How much was the bet?" asked Phil, tugging off the beard.  

"What bet?"  Clint asked, feigning ignorance.  

Natasha rolled her eyes and began fiddling around on Darcy's phone.  "It's in the five figures, and that's all you need to know."  

"At least you didn't push us under the mistletoe," Darcy said incredulously.  

"Mistletoe is so predictable…"  Natasha replied, wrinkling her nose.  "Besides.  The bet wasn't for a kiss.  Although, that would be a bonus."  

Darcy took off her own hat, the one that had the elf ears attached and tossed it to Natasha, who promptly put it on and somehow managed to look downright adorable in it.  

They ransacked the refreshment table, leaving with a tray-full of the best finger foods the caterers had to offer.  

Darcy was also able to swipe a bottle of booze from beneath the refreshment table.  She was super excited about it until she saw that it was Barbara's-from-Accounting. That woman only drank the nastiest seasonal Schnapps Dekuyper had to offer.

But it was possibly better than nothing.  

Maybe?

She was trying to detach herself from her nerves.  Try to stay cool and breezy.  

Who cared if Natasha told them to go get 'holly-jolly'?  Not Darcy.  Because she totally knew what that meant and it wasn't something that made her cheeks go all rosy, or her nose go all cherry.  

Because getting 'holly-jolly' with Phil was definitely what she'd been hoping for since pretty much day one of her job here at S.H.I.E.L.D.  And therefore, she shouldn't be nervous at all, right?  

Phil seemed fine with it anyway.  Which meant…  

What in Saint Nick's jingle bells did it mean?

  They left the event room and wandered down the hall until they found an office with a cracked door.  There was only one chair, so Phil rolled it out into the hallway and plopped down on the floor behind the desk.  

Darcy took a swig from the bottle, wincing at the pepperminty taste before passing it to Phil. It was honestly the worst, like taking shots of Blue Scope, but it took the edge off her nerves, so she let it slide.   "I've never seen you even attend this party before, let alone cosplay Ole Saint Nick.  What gives, Phil?  Why did you even agree to this?"  

He looked at her for a long moment.  A really long moment, before he took a long swig from the bottle  His eyes stayed on hers, and Darcy felt her cheeks flush red.  "I have a thing for the elf," he replied.  

Her eyebrows went straight up.  "For the elf, huh? I'm assuming you're not talking about Legolas…" She jutted her head to the side, in the general direction of the merriment down the hall.

He chuckled. "Not quite, no… it's more for… what did you say your name was again?"  

She tried not to laugh when she said it.  "Pinky Perky-Pants…"  

"Yeah.  I have a thing for Pinky Perky-Pants."  

She pressed her lips together and looked down at her pointy shoes.  "This is weird because I normally don't have a thing for Santa… and I still don't… but I hella have a thing for my boss."  

"Really? Huh.  That's normally something that gets you put on the naughty list, you know," he said with a wink.  

"But it doesn't in my case?" she asked, grinning widely.

"No, it does.  Just… not the naughty list that gets no presents."

She reached for the bottle. "Is that you or the Schnapps talking?"  

"A little of both, maybe?"  he replied.  "Doesn't make it any less true, though…"  

"What kind of presents do I get, Phil?"  

He shifted over a little, so his fingers brushed hers slightly. He'd shed the belt and the red coat along with the extra fluff for his bowl-full-of-jelly a while ago, but he was still wearing those red pants.  And he smelled like a peppermint nightmare.  

But Darcy wouldn't change a thing about the way this was happening.  

His lips met hers and she sighed into his mouth.  

"Do I get any more, or is that it, since I'm on the naughty list?" she asked, her lips brushing against his when she smiled.  

Phil grinned, his other hand coming up to twist into her hair as he kissed her again, more deeply this time.  Her belly swooped and she reached up to grasp his white-t-shirt, holding him in place.  

His lips caressed hers, his tongue prodding gently at her bottom lip, coaxing her to part her lips, tilting her head to better slot her mouth over his.

Time basically stood still. A little bit holiday magic and a little bit Peppermint Schnapps.  And neither of them noticed when someone entered the office.  Not until she spoke, anyway...

"Hey… is that my Schnapps?"