#or just generally anything to do with Expressing Emotions in a way that doesn't align with his idea of a Stallion Protagonist

[waitineedaname]

putting aside being sad about binghe for now, I was looking for the first time sqq directly compares binghe to a maiden, and as far as I can tell, the first time he calls him a maiden is this part:

To push him away during this moment would be like giving a young maiden -- one who'd finally worked up the courage to call and brokenheartedly weep to an older sister for comfort and encouragement -- a face-turning slap. It was really a bit cruel. (Chapter 11 in vol. 2 of the English translation)

this stands out to me because this is shortly after he finally realized binghe is attracted to him, while he's still grappling with the fact that he's "turned binghe gay." it's yet another example of sqq equating being gay with femininity -- he knows binghe is into men now, and thus begins him repeatedly referring to binghe's behavior as that of a maiden's

but the other thing that stands out to me about this quote is that sqq is also making himself a girl in this metaphor. I know the translation is probably lacking here and he's probably using jiejie to mean generic older female friend as opposed to jiejie meaning older sister, but still. shen qingqiu, why are both of you girls in this mental metaphor. hello. shen qingqiu are you aware that making both of you girls does not make it any less gay. shen qingqiu are you listening to me. shen qingqiu yes it's still gay when you're both girls

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Hey I saw you were doing matchups and I've never done one so I was curious :) plus you seem nice

This is mainly for bg3 but I'm super into Hazbin as well if you feel like doing both 🫶

Gender- woman

Pronouns- she/her

Sexuality- pansexual

Appearance

Basically the best I could get without just putting a picture of myself. Keep my hair short, I love dyeing it, I've had it tons of colors but pink is my favorite. (having it up in two buns is my favorite style) I'm 5'2, curvy, my eyes are kinda downturned and brown. I have a freckle (mole? Kinda? Beauty mark?) above my lips on the left.

Mbti- INTJ

Personality- So I'm autistic, have trouble with certain social queues and expressing emotions. It actually caused a lot of problems growing up but I've gotten better about it now. I'm still really blunt at times and have been told my resting face looks really sad/upset 😅. I'm an optimistic realist, and generally difficult to upset. I cry when I get mad because I never learned to express being angry in a healthy way. I try to be sweet with people I'm familiar with, like making jokes and complimenting people, but I can be pretty mean/cold to people I don't like. I'm a writer, and an auditory learner, so I've always been told I'm an amazing listener. Which I do love listening to people, but I hate interrupting so I usually go entire conversations without saying much even if I have something to say- because I won't interject and by the time I get a word in the subject has changed. I'm a fast learner academically and like to think I'm open minded. Arguments annoy me, but I'm not above admitting I'm wrong. I am very passionate about the things I like, as well as morality based subjects. I also go somewhat nonverbal when I get overstimulated which happens mostly when I'm around a lot of people.

Likes:

-Storms are my favorite weather

-Rabbits are my favorite animals, I grew up with a bunch of them they're super misunderstood from what I know and make amazing pets

-Word association games for some reason? Also puzzles. They're just fun

Dislikes:

-Meat. I have trouble eating certain foods and most meat is in that. I'm not vegetarian but anything with bones or skin or chewy bits I just can't do 🥲

-Yelling. It just makes me upset even if it's not directed at me.

-When people don't think animals have feelings or make jokes about killing pets cause they think it's funny :(

Fun fact: I have photic sneeze reflex which means when my pupils dilate really fast due to a light change (usually going from inside to outside) it makes me sneeze!

Race: I'm a human obviously but I think I'd be a half elf (maybe a drow half elf even, just cause I don't prefer sunshine) in faerun just cause my ears are kinda pointy. I have connected earlobes so it makes them look somewhat more elfy.

Class: Probably an abjuration or conjuration wizard. Sorcerer would be cool but they're charisma based and I'm not very charismatic

Alignment: Lawful good? Or maybe just chaotic good I'm not sure, cause the law isn't always right funnily enough

Thanks, even if you don't get to this. I started posting on Tumblr recently and I know how difficult it is to get to a bunch of asks so no worries if you can't get to it.

You are so sweet, I am sorry it took so long to get to your request, but it is finally time to get your match out!

~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

BG3

Halsin

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Halsin is one with nature, so he enjoys all animals and people no matter what.

He finds your reserved nature interesting. As you are the leader of your misfits, your timidity doesn't quite match your fearless leadership of lives.

He realizes how sweet you are once he joins you in the hunt for the ones behind the illithids.

He struggled to determine if you were sad or if your face was just reading sad.

Halsin is just as awkward himself. Though he has lived for hundreds of years, it is hard to keep up with all the changes that come with that.

When he started developing feelings for you, he was very timid about expressing them. Though love is natural and part of nature, he didn't want to frighten you.

When he found you crying one day because a villager upset you, he was as wild as a bear at that moment.

He stayed back to comfort you but gave a piece of his mind to spare you the argument when you were elsewhere.

Halsin tries hard to help keep the peace among the others, especially after seeing you get overwhelmed by a fight that broke out between La'zel and Shadowheart.

When he confesses to you, he rambles. Because you don't say anything, he thinks you now hate him, so he rambles more. Once he lets you get a say-in and you confess back, he's the happiest ever.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

You had been tending to the animals near the camp. Though you were soon to leave this area and venture further through Faerun, you wanted to make sure the little friends you made would be okay. You heard giant footsteps approaching behind you as you doled out nuts, berries, and some dried meats for the creatures. Turning gently so as not to frighten away the creatures, you find Halsin also helping tend to the animals.

His love and care for the world around him was so sweet to you. He was a fantastic man who flawlessly met your and the group's needs. Sometimes, you wondered about letting him lead as the new group's leader. Halsin had already turned that notion down since you were more than capable in his eyes.

Once the creatures were tended, Halsin walked up to you. He gently placed some fallen hair back in its intended spot before gently cupping your face. He was always so warm and protective, which helped put you at ease through this whole ordeal with the mind flayers. Nuzzling into his hand and smiling up at him, Halsin gently placed a kiss on your forehead. You two embraced this soft moment before the next battle took place.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(You had just finished a battle; only Gale came out scathed because he didn't listen to a call out from you or Shadowheart.)

Halsin: My Gale, how did you get so beat up?

Shadowheart: Maybe because he's a lunatic who doesn't listen to instructions.

Gale: Hold on, I don't know how this is my fault when you could have simply healed me on the field.

Shadowheart: Why would I heal you when you blatantly didn't listen?

Halsin: Everyone, you don't need to worry about fighting. It's okay. I will tend to the wounds.

Y/N: I also called out to him to move from the spot where he got shot.

Halsin: Never mind, Gale, figure it out on your own.

HAZBIN HOTEL

Charlie Morningstar

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Charlie is the embodiment of chaotic goodness. She just wants to help everyone and make the world a better place.

She loves animals, people, and really everything. If she could express her happiness and love any better, she would.

She was taken aback by how reserved you were when you came to the hotel. Usually, people in hell were brazen.

As she got to know you, she enjoyed the wisdom you offered.

She did everything to put a smile on your face, mostly because she enjoyed your happiness and because she couldn't tell when you were sad or just thinking.

She goes full momma demon mode when someone upsets you, with no hesitation the claws are barred.

She tries really hard to be a listener for you instead of you listening to her. Though Charlie tends to ramble, especially about her ideas, she always wants to hear your input.

When there is violence or issues in the hotel, she makes sure you are first safe and far away. Once things have calmed down, she will come and get you.

She didn't really confess to you. One day, you two were friends, and the next, she was talking to you about being in a relationship.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

Charlie had been diligently working at her desk on her next big plan to rehabilitate sinners. While she was working away, you had taken refuge on her bed, writing in your journal. You enjoyed the monotony of your growing relationship, where even if you two weren't actively doing the same thing, you still chose each other. As you got to the climax of your story, a frustrated groan was heard next to you.

Turning your attention to the princess, you noticed she had scrapped another idea of hers. Sitting up, you slowly made your way over to her to see what seemed to be causing the hiccup in her mental process. Charlie was full of amazing ideas; just some were far harder to attain than others, and you both knew that. So sometimes, just offering your own insights helped her reimagine an idea she was having.

Taking your spot next to her, you noticed that instead of working on sinners like you thought, she was working on your next birthday. You laughed gently at her, causing her to snap to her senses and look over at you. Knowing she had been caught, she gave up and let you look at what she had been working on. You smiled and gently took Charleis's hand in yours, "You know I would be happy with just spending the day lounging around with you, right?" This was enough to spread a giant smile across the princess of Hell's face.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(The new hotel had been built, and Charlie was eager to welcome new sinners. However, no one showed up the first day, making her sad.)

Y/N: Charlie, it's okay. I am sure there will be some tomorrow or the next day.

Charlie: But how will we beat heaven if no one gets rehabilitated.

Y/N: We can't force people to stay; we need them to come on their own.

Charlie: but I made cupcakes.

Y/N: How about I eat one with you?

Charlie: ( sniffles ) Okay.

[cdsillylilyposting]

Can I just yap for a minute of your time?

(This post is about starwars)

Cool

So in my neverending absorption of discourse & pop culture

Pictured Me:

I have come across a dumbass take that people have started to dislike Light side vs Dark side of the force

I say cowards!!

I think it stems from the desire for further nuance in a property that a person already loves which is commendable but that's going about it in the wrong way

With how people like to explain it having the Light Side of the Force be all good and wholesome is no good while having the Dark Side corrupt and be evil is boring and one note so the essential idea is do away with the morality of the magic system let anyone do anything and have it be a moral thing that a character doesn't use force lightening

For something like Star Wars, the media I initially was inspired to make this idk essay, this would immediately take away most of the fascinating conflict for those who would want power even for a noble cause, the classic Taboo Powers stories (cite: Lord of the Rings, Warhammer, Full Metal Alchemist, The Wheel Of Time, most dark magic in stories actually)

But maybe it doesn't have to be, the biggest problem is... what would you replace it with?

Now I'm not some Brando Sando fan that must learn everything about a magical system there can just be magic; I see it told most people want The Force to be a neutral... force which wouldn't move the plot forwards at all. You could explore the ideological differences between the sith and jedi (and whoever else) to explain why they do what they do, something they already have done

There's books and comics that put in less abstract terms why characters (sith/jedi) do the actions they do only difference most of the time when the force is used by said character they tend to act more dramatically

(Just a personal note but since Star Wars is a space opera and honestly it's kind of genius to have an in-universe explanation as to why a character acts in such melodramatic ways)

But with the force you can have a Jedi trying to make the correct decision while the pressure from his backstory and tension with the pressure to fall to the dark side mounts in equal measure

Or

Have a Sith reconcile with the fact they keep slipping lower and lower maybe it's the situations they've been put it maybe it's the dark side they use like a drug

Another factor I'll touch on real quick is how tied to emotions the force is, generally how it's presented is Sith will go from 0-100 faster but a Jedi can push further because they've mastered stoicism so them ramping up from their might take longer but often they are just stronger and able to apply it consistently able very funny contrast for characters and how if you took away the alignment thing you'd get rid of an important motivation for staying in control

Another reason is because many folks enjoy when a Sith with all their cool powers are nuanced and actually are making some good points... I don't like this, again in general you can explore this in pure ideology although it falls apart in practicality, both Obi-Wan & Dooku are wise mentors guiding young hot blooded warriors you know what the differences Dooku is willing to let his mentee fly off the handle whenever while Obi-Wan will and does chastise his

Back to the point though practically speaking memes aside Anakin is good at thinking things over (he just picks goes with his heart anyways most the time) while Ventress is INCAPABLE of long term planning and i think that is helped with the expression of the force as an alignment charter thusly

Like with all good dark magic The Force plays on one thing above all else

AMBITION!

Jedi are meant to except restraint and structure while Sith are all about

Without ambition you make a shitty sith

And without stoicism you can't focus your powers as a jedi

But like Slaanesh in Warhammer excess takes over, constantly dipping into the powers of the sith makes it harder and harder to remain stoic in trying situations and getting angry giving into temptation becomes exponentially easier its also why it takes jedi so fucking long to start acting some of the most powerful jedi like Yoda will wait for a yonk and this is also in its own way a flaw helped codified by the swings the force makes people deal with

Anyways this was a really long post I'll be back to my regular sillylilyposting soon

[salmonellatrenchcoat]

In the beginning of good omens season 2, we see the world through Crowley's eyes; the creation of the universe puts us in a position where we have no choice but to align with Crowley as a character. Most of the Flashbacks we see Aziraphale's perspective. He NARRORATES! This highlights the significance of the confession scene where we finally get Crowley's perspective again, specifically when it comes to Aziraphale and the alignment really becomes more important; not only are we initially seeing Aziraphale's proposal as a rejection, we have just enough of a glimpse of Aziraphale's beauty to make it painful for us on a more personal level. We see Aziraphale's whimsy and how fiercely protective Crowley is of him when he's not around, which is another way I'd say we see a reflection of Crowley's love.

This brings me to my next point; the way they express love towards eachother opposes their statuses as an angel and a demon. Aziraphale is physical, Crowley expresses emotionally weather he thinks he is or not, which is a lead up to the confession scene. Crowley's emotions are never directly expressed to Aziraphale until he confesses. With every one of his actions; threatening "Jim", saving Aziraphale making him "so happy", helping Aziraphale when he's under threat, doing anything for him even if he thinks it's ridiculous (the magic act, loaning him the Bentley, ext), learning Aziraphale's mannerism and tones; points to his emotional attachment. Everyone around him can see this attachment and it manifests in the way he speaks of Aziraphale- in the way he tells Nina "he's far too pure to be anyone's 'bit on the side.'" These actions are an expression of love and a substitute for physical touch he struggles with giving. You would expect a demon to have no issue with intimacy, given that one of the seven deadly sins is lust, though that isn't Crowley. He isn't really a demon, atleast not in the same way the others are. In a way, it feels as if he's worried any physical advancement would be taken as a temptation.

Conversely, Aziraphale struggles to say what he means, which leaks into the confession scene. He never speaks of his love for Crowley but its in the way he touches him and the way he physically expresses. The face he pulls when Shax suggest Crowley would never be interested in him exemplifies what I mean by this; he doesn't need to state his feelings for Crowley for his feelings to be known. His love is expressed in how close he stays to him, constant physical contact that you would think would be unbecoming of an angel. Despite what he is meant to think or feel, Aziraphale desires to be physically loved.

Both of these affection styles bleed into the Confession scene; Crowley emotionally expresses how he has loved and does love Aziraphale through words and when that doesn't work be tries to speak Aziraphale's language. He kisses him. He attempts to physically dedicate himself to Aziraphale and give him what he wants; this is met with his worse fear being realised. Aziraphale treats him as a tempter. Aziraphale, during this scene, attempts to be emotional for Crowley, trying and partially failing to verbally express what he's feeling. His plea for Crowley to come with him comes across wrong, his "I need you." Is lost in his accidental implication Crowley is only worthy of love if he changes. When Crowley kisses him, he struggles between leaning into it and pulling away, his hands being the tell all of his wants and fears.

Conclusively, I think it's safe to say that they failed to speak eachother's language and share one brain cell.

P.s. anyone else think the 25 Lazari miracle is just a testament to the power of love between them and generally within the world of good omens?

[lindsayrps]

nell howard development

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: eleanor jane howard NICKNAME(S): nell, mostly, or some variation thereof. she's heard el and lea, though. PREFERRED NAME(S): nell BIRTH DATE: october 6 AGE: twenty five GENDER: cis female PRONOUNS: she/hers ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heteroromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: dependent on work placement. LIVING CONDITIONS: again, dependent on work placement so varies. sometimes airbnb, sometimes extended stay hotels.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: eden, new york HOMETOWN: eden, new york SOCIAL CLASS: middle EDUCATION LEVEL: bachelor's of science in nursing + registered nurse FATHER: john howard MOTHER: caroline howard SIBLING(S): robert "robbie" howard (14) + thomas howard (deceased) BIRTH ORDER: thomas, nell, robbie CHILDREN: none yet PET(S): her boyfriend's cat, harry. none OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: none PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: no lol. she's dated some, wouldn't necessarily consider many, if any, of them relationships of any great importance. ARRESTS?: none PRISON TIME?: none

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: travel nurse SECONARY SOURCE OF INCOME: none CONTENT WITH THIEIR JOB (OR LACK THEREOF)?: mostly, just wants to transition from travel to a permanent position somewhere. PAST JOB(S): waitress, retail cashier SPENDING HABITS: fairly frugal. it's got to fit in her suitcase otherwise she can't bring it with her when she leaves.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: she's not struggling to lift marginally heavy things but she's no body builder either SPEED: decent INTELLIGENCE: average in general, slightly higher when it comes to medically related things ACCURACY: slightly above average AGILITY: decent STAMINA: thanks to extensive hospital shifts: she's good TEAMWORK: exceptionally high but she's never not worked well with other people TALENTS: problem solving, researching, caring for others SHORTCOMINGS: too sensitive, has a hard time delegating tasks, not super trusting, holds herself back from things she wants (specifically relationships) due to perceived pitfalls/not wanting to get hurt LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, spanish, fumbling her way through duolingo's french course DRIVE?: yes but doesn't JUMP START A CAR?: no CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: no RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: violin from her youth v but christ alive don't make her do it PLAY CHESS?: yes BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: no

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: lucy boynton EYE COLOR: green HAIR COLOR: blonde GLASSES/CONTACTS?: yes, mostly wears contacts but if she doesn't have to be at work, she'll wear her glasses. DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 5'4 BUILD: average, maybe on the skinnier side EXERCISE HABITS: mostly walking everywhere, not super fond of the gym / gym bros SKIN TONE: pale, even TATTOOS: thomas' initials on the side of her wrist PIERCINGS: ears MARKS/SCARS: half inch vertical scar on the outside of her right foot from when she stepped on a wide, upright metal comb NOTABLE FEATURES: big bambi eyes USUAL EXPRESSION: happy CLOTHING STYLE: casual and comfortable. oversized tshirts (that may or may not be hers), hoodies, shorts, sundresses, anything floral or with a pattern, layers, mismatched items (shorts + hoodie, jeans + tank top), converse, docs, sneakers JEWELRY: minimal and dainty, nothing too terribly dangly. earrings, necklace, a ring ALLERGIES: none DIET: everything in moderation. if you think she's going to deprive herself of pasta you're mistaken. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEGRAM TYPE: type 2: the helper MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good TEMPERAMENT: sanguine ELEMENT: water MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: anxiety SOCIABILITY: highly sociable. what's the opposite of black cat girlfriend? that's nell. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: fairly stable, has her moments though, usually when she's overwhelmed. OBSESSION(S): none COMPULSION(S): none PHOBIA(S): none ADDICTION(S): none DRUG USE: no ALCOHOL USE: socially but not a lot PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: formal at work, casual otherwise. ACCENT: comparatively, probably, but she would say she doesn't have one. QUIRKS: none that stand out HOBBIES: crochet, crosswords, nature walks, baking, reading NERVOUS TICKS: chews on her lip or nails DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: feeling loved/valued in friendships/relationships, protecting herself/her loved ones, taking care of others. FEARS: first and foremost: something happening to robbie, and then the usuals: failure, rejection, loneliness. being in a plane crash. POSITIVE TRAITS: sociable, caring, adventurous, optimistic, reliable NEGATIVE TRAITS: sensitive, guarded, self-critical SENSE OF HUMOR: fairly light DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: not going to punctuate every other word with a cuss but when it's necessary, sure.

FAVOURITES

ACTIVITY: anything she can do with friends ANIMAL: tie between cats and dogs BEVERAGE: coffee BOOK: the mill on the floss COLOR: phthalo green FOOD: cinnamon buns FLOWER: hydrangeas GEM: alexandrite HOLIDAY: halloween (yes it counts) MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking/subway MOVIE: titanic MUSICAL ARTIST: noah kahan SCENERY: she'll take anything, she likes it all. SCENT: elliot 😋 SPORT: not super big on sports but she'll adopt whichever one her friends like most SPORTS TEAM: see above TELEVISION SHOW: ted lasso WEATHER: man tie between summer and fall VACATION DESTINATION: anywhere away from work

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: just having complete ownership over her life and being happy with the decisions she's made GREATEST FEAR: losing robbie, not even, like, permanently but in general. MOST AT EASE WHEN: around elliot / her friends. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: around her parents. in some twisted way she supposes she still loves them because they're her parents but man alive she's been LC since she was 18 and it's the best thing she's ever done. the only reason she's not NC is her brother. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: losing robbie, anything happening to her friends/elliot, losing her job BIGGEST REGRET: not fighting to take robbie with her when she could. BIGGEST SECRET: doesn't really fuck with secrets if you know her so, yanno. TOP PRIORITIES: her people, her job, being happy and content with her life

[doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter]

I'm so excited a discussion about Zenos is happening! I've submitted Y'shtola and I think Arendvald was maybe me too, been meaning to type out one for Thancred, Raubahn, and possibly a couple others, too. I love FFXIV so much, is major special interest.

[SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ANYONE NOT DONE WITH FFXIV MSQ AND INTENDING TO PLAY IT] So, to add some context to Zenos! He's a villain that stands out from the rest, and the player character (WoL from hereon) is the only person he truly wants to fight. He is canonically extremely gifted, and it's both as something that makes him super deadly and one of a few factors playing into how he has absolutely no pleasure from anything in life. Except fighting people that really do pose a challenge to him, which is like... the WoL. That's the end of that list. He's the son of a ruler in an authoritorian fascist empire (Garleans), with highly rigid and cold regimes and practices and extremely large differences in power across their vast power hierarchy.

He is cold, indifferent, ruthless, and extremely dangerous. But he doesn't kill aimlessly either, it gives him no joy, and he doesn't wish to spent time on unworthy targets that wouldn't challenge him in the slightest. He canonically is miserable in life, always been an outsider, always felt alien to his society. He finds everything boring, and he despises boring. He's got lines of dialogue saying nothing makes him feel anything at all, except when he's almost killed in battle by the WoL. So he keeps seeking out the WoL, teasing and egging on to try and get that rush again.

Canon factors that cause this: - Childhood without parental attachments, because his mother died and his father was emotionally, socially, and physically distant - Forced to train and behave as an adult from an unreasonably young age, in a highly formal and structured environment without room for being a child - His giftedness, described in ways similar to real life gifted child experiences and complications - Chronic boredom and lack of emotion, described in ways similar to understimulation and flat affect - Lack of any attachments or interest in social relations of any kind, described in ways similar to antisocial personality characteristics, where he both cannot socially connect and doesn't care

I'm not sure if canon directly talks about his apparent lack of empathy using words or phrases that align with the concept of empathy, but several other characters express disgust and anger at how he shows no empathy or remorse. Aka it is heavily implied he does not have emotional empathy, and does not care about the cognitive empathy he does have. He says in different ways at many points in time that he doesn't enjoy this existence, he doesn't wish for this. He even had a nearly successful suicide attempt. He is functionally isolated and totally excluded from society, and in practice can't or won't or both do anything other than look for the next way to try and feel something.

The game generally doesn't use terms for health and illness as we know them, but if I were to try and translate the terms and phrasings and tellings they do use about Zenos, I'd no doubt say he has a severe attachment disorder which with his giftedness creates a very skilled but very dysfunctional person. His giftedness for both intellect and learning and combat is a blessing and a curse. Then, if we're going more into harder to translate from in-world lingo to our-world lingo territory, he does have a variety of traits that align with antisocial personality disorder as well as dysthymia.

Overall he is a villain that portrays a lot of contrasts and conflicts in function talked about regarding 2e / twice exceptional people and who is both an absolutely ruthless one man army monster and also just alone, miserable, empty, and without any pleasure from anything in life, where a lot of it is likely caused by the circumstances of his childhood.

Thank y’all for your input + the people in the comments of the other post. He will be included, his poll will run at some point.

[yeoldebaggageclaim]

bullet lists, details later

dad:

cause of trust issues

control

surveillance

medical neglect

direspect, doesn't take me seriously

authority

dishonesty

worst assumptions first

often doesn't talk to me about things

critical, causes anxiety issues

tries to tell me how i should feel

sometimes feels like he's listening just to respond

often feel my feelings and are discounted by him or he isn't really hearing what im saying

everything has to be a lesson or how to do something better, it feels condescending and like im never good enough

feel judged and like im not good enough for him about many things tbh

doesn't do things he says he will with any regularity if it's not done immediately, gets mad at me for asking about them even when it's stuff im relying on him for out of necessity

feel like i can't express my personality without being criticized and looked fown on, sneered at

often takes it out on me when he's having a bad day, finding the most obscure things to absolutely boss me around and exert power over me about to vent frustration. if not this, or in addition to this, yells aggressively at the animals in ways that are upsetting to be around

mom:

hard to talk to about health

opinions shoved down my throat no matter the topic

jealous

often feel ignored in favor of topics she wants to talk about

really hurt me that she acted so exasperated whenever i would want to tell her about my stories (which are so important to me), would just stop paying attention in the middle, would start conversation with dad as if i wasn't talking

often will start conversation while im talking as if i was not saying anything

not willing to make the effort to acknowledge what ive said or how i feel about something before diving in with her own opinions, at times not even letting me finish talking about mine. generally doesn't seem interested in what i have to say, or won't make the effort to show me if she is bc she's in her own home and relaxed. i still have feelings and emotional needs, you still have to make an effort if u don't want to hurt my feelings

won't take any form of criticism, even if it's about something that is upsetting me or has hurt me. tends to make those conversations about herself and her feelings, and often lashes out at me angrily for bringing these things up, at least initially. i can't have a big fight every time i show an upset emotion, even if the big fight leads to a calm resolution. im very sensitive and it's exhausting and painful to live that way for me.

decides on her own what i need rather than taking my word for it or listening when i tell her

won't understand my point of view if it doesn't align with the one she would have or the one she would expect me to have, regardless of me trying to explain

bad takes. so many upsetting bad takes. range from big to small. upsetting to hear.

codependent

her fear and trauma affect me and herself negatively and she refuses to go to therapy for it

will argue with me if she remembers something differently than i do that it didn't happen that way, rather than just tell me she remembers it differently, always with the assumption she remembered right and i remembered wrong

center of the universe, gets so offended over nothing and reads into things where there's nothing but refuses to communicate what she wants

double standard, will be upset if i make noise after she goes to bed, will oftrn have loud conversation through the house before 10:30 am when im trying to sleep

if not getting defensive, takes any criticism and self flagellates with it instead of looking to change what it is she doesn't like about herself

both:

doesn't know what healthy boundaries are and refuse to learn, let alone respect them

feel like they don't think im capable of anything, like they're both expecting me to be fucking up constantly

don't accept or listen to me about my experiences, makes it very hard to open up or get help when i need it when im being dismissed or secind guessed

very defensive, hard to come to you when something is wrong

entire mold situation being the final straw between having to fight them to get them to believe me to dad yelling and carrying on every time i needed something from him whether it be seal the closet or bathroom or get more concrobium for my walls, to them treating me like i was somehow doing it on purpose to straight up mom abandoning me and dad gaslighting me about it in the end

often distrusts me and doesn't take me at my word when im telling them my motivations for things, especially when in disagreements

feel like i have to be so quiet in my own house where i live like i can't even exist bc they'll get annoyed, dad much worse with this but mom too

never allowed to say no, lack of autonomy and agency stifling

non-grievances: things i appreciate about them peppered throughout, share some things about me that i wanted to put out in the open but didn't want to have to defend, reasons why ive been trying to just make it work

[dc-ocs-200x]

FILE

Trigger Warnings: Beginning of Backstory delves into kid fights (like dog fights but with kids), murder, and imprisonment.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

General Information

Name: Wrath "Lucias"

Nicknames: Lu, Luce, Luci, Lu-Lu, Little Soldier, Braxie

Age: Melina years worth, physically appears to only be 22-24

Species: Embodiment of wrath, immortal being, once was a Cambion

Gender: AMAB, identities as agender

Pronouns: it/its/itself

Sexuality: Demisexual panromantic

D.O.B.: October 29th

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio ♏️

Alignment: Bounces between Chaotic Good and Neutral Neutral/Neutral Good depending on if it's angry or not

Classification: Alpha

Physical Appearance

Skin color: White with a reddish-tan tint

Hair Color: Half black (left side), half white (right side)

Hair Style: Doesn't put much effort into its hair, often leaving it messy looking, it's length often stays just below it's ears (per Cain's demands) but it has had it longer and shorter before

Eye Color: Red

Wears: Much like it's hairstyle, Wrath isn't fussy over what it wears, when it's in control of its outfits it usually goes with comfortable shirts, sometimes a hoody, and pants (grunge style pants either ripped, with chains, or with deigned patches), however when asked, it has been known to wear the more formal taste of it's uncles choices, frilly button ups and all

Personality

Personality: Wrath is the walking form of 'if looks could kill'. To be the barer of the sin of wrath, it is surprisingly calm and not one to immediately jump into conflict. When it is worked up, however, all hell breaks loose. It has a surprisingly big heart for that sin as well, willing to take on all the responsibility of everyone's safety against anyone or anything. Emotions are not Wrath's forte, seeing as it had been taught to suppress them from a young age but it has worked on better expressing itself, throughly interested in the emotions it can feel and how far those feelings can go. In pair with not being good with its feelings, it doesn't express them too much as a means of intimidation, it wants strangers to be weary of it, and in turn of its family, as a means to protect them. While having a stronger build due to its powers, Wrath is extremely skillful and agile, very light on its toes mainly from its days before it was sin barer of wrath. While not popping up all the time, Wrath can be extremely sensitive especially with its past as it can remember every fight it has gone through, every face of every child its fought (and killed), every outcome of the fights, on those days it tends to be more secluded and moody, though it tries not to make it obvious not wanting to worry its family. It has a photographic memory.

Likes: Cuddling, being held, cooking, protecting others, learning, being read to, emotions, rain and mud puddles, playful wrestling, coloring

Dislikes: Being seen as weak, nightmares, it's photographic memory, having its picture taken, pettiness, not having some kind of control over its emotions

Fears: Hurting others, being heavily reminded of its past, being seen/called evil, mild fear of strong storms

Quotes

Quote 1: "If you have something to say, then say it out loud, jackass."

Quote 2: "I am being nice. Do I make you angry, uneasy?"

Quote 3: "Preferred pronouns?"

Quote 4: "Alright, Lu. A bit easier, huh?"

Quote 5: "By choice. They can respect me regardless of what I go by. Can you?"

Quote 6: "So... we kinda have that in common, Uncle Cain? Your mark and my mark, as a reminder?"

Quote 7: "Stop asking me questions, I hate to see you cry."

Quote 8: "We are one in the same. Oh, you take all of the pain away."

Quote 9: "She.... she was... sweet... always looking out for me... tried shielding me from dad and his ways.... but, as he put it 'she couldn't do it forever'... she'd hug me close and tell me things about the human life every night. But every night it was something different. Lullabies, stories, sometimes she'd ramble random facts until I fell asleep."

Relationship With Other Characters

Envy "Raven": One of Wrath's best friends and one of two sins that it's willing to be a little more open with in regards to its insecurities and fears, Wrath refuses to let anyone hurt a hair on Envy's head and it dares anyone to try, it is willing to take Envy's vents, even going as far as to provoke his anger just to help his mood, letting him wrestle with it.

Pride "Athena": Sees Pride as its little sister making it protective over her, especially as it saw Envy and Pride practically glued to the hip when they all were children, it enjoys letting her fuss over its hair and outfits, gladly going along with whatever she wants to put it in.

Greed "Lux": Has a bad tendency to regard Greed like an immature child, often expecting him to break his toys and whine about it afterwards that said, Wrath does find something endearing about it, truly seeing Greed as it's baby brother.

Gluttony "Nyx": Like all the other sins, Gluttony was the youngest sibling it grew up with for a while, so that automatically makes it a lot more protective of her, this is where it's big sibling tendencies shine the brightest.

Sloth "Salem": The Yin to Wrath's Yang, Salem gets to see all sides of Wrath, except for its utter rage (something Wrath thankfully doesn't feel much of these days and is something it doesn't want to show Sloth, worried it will either hurt or scare them), the two balance each other out extremely well, Sloth being the only person that can quickly calm it back down.

Lust "Darcey": More often than not, these two do not get along, Wrath sees Lust as an annoying nuisance, and while Lust doesn't have a thing against Wrath himself, he definitely doesn't help his case by teasing it, that said Wrath still will not tolerate slander against Lust's name and is more than ready to protect and defend him.

Cain: Cain and Wrath do not always see eye to eye, that being said, Wrath is more than prepared to step up to defend Cain against anyone taking it as 'no one gets to say you're a piece of shit except for the people that live in this house', and Cain does hold plenty of endearment towards Wrath himself, finding its wrathful and even violent tendencies entertaining at times.

Abel: Abel was another adult that helped Wrath with its emotional regulation, while not quite to the extent Satan is due to Abel being a rather gentle soul, he was the best adult to calm it down, especially when it was still young, even now as an adult when it feels itself growing agitated but it's usual sources of comfort are busy with their own things, Wrath will be content to go and be simply held by Abel for a short time to settle itself.

Satan: While these two started off extremely rocky, they have an amazing relationship now, Satan helping teach Wrath some kinds of emotional regulation and ways to calm its anger, Satan is the one adult it feels understands its feelings and can help it the best.

Freyja: Sees Freyja as a part of the family, wholeheartedly, it doesn't think there could be anyone to better fit in with their ragtag bunch, and suit Pride so perfectly, that said it is a creature of few words towards her, not that Wrath is much of a talker to anyone.

Mina: Wrath throughly impressed and interested about Mina, seeing as it was one of the first to see that she was a lot more sneaky and clever than she let on, and then being able to survive Greed and his temper tantrums, it will playfully dismiss her as just as childish as Greed seeing as she is his 'playmate' but there obviously is a lot more respect for her than it let's on.

Achilles: Just like Amityville, it automatically took Achilles somewhat under its care, it's not the most present mentor but it is very willing to teach Achilles what it can, especially in regards to his demon powers having seen all of it in Hell, it was the first to point out that his wings are a weapon and not just in the sense they allow him to fly, it also offers what it can in regards to emotions controlling one's physical strength and how to balance the two out.

Amityville: As mentioned, Wrath became somewhat of a mentor to Amity, just as it is for Achilles, also teaching her about her demon powers especially in regards to her tail which also is not just there for decoration, it got to know Amity a little bit easier due to them having a lot of one on one time during the nights, with them both being night owls, it helps out whenever and wherever it can also in regards to emotions, it may not be good at expressing its own but there's no denying it has done its studying.

Backstory

Wrath was born to a woman, Clementine, who wanted children but was unable to have any, leading her to make a deal with an incubus who promised her a child, what the woman didn't realize was she was signing away her life. As soon as she became pregnant, she was locked away in Hell by said incubus. The pregnancy was rough and resulted in Lucias. The first year was as normal as things could be in Hell, but by age two, Lucias had its natural demon abilities peeking through as well as advancing far past the average human two-year-old making its father, Frollo, decide it was time for some 'fun'. He signed Wrath up for a local fight in Hell, 'kid fights' as they were called where demon children of all ages fought each other often times to the death, but at the very least severe injury. From there, that was what what its life consisted of. Training and fighting. It's only break from the horrific cycle was the nighttime, the only time Clementine was able to see her baby. She'd hold it close and soothe it to sleep with talk of the human world and what it was like, sometimes singing lullabies to it, sometimes random facts, stories, whatever she could think of at the time. This, tragically, came to a hard stop when Frollo finally fully drained Clementine of her life-force. He locked her away from Lucias and he forced it to continue fighting for his and other Hellish beings amusement. This was its life until it was about 11 when Cain and Abel got ahold of it. It being framed almost as a kidnapping Lucias was extremely weary of them at first, when it became immortal it took the illness better than most of the other kids, going practically comatose through the first day and sleeping it on and off through the second. Once better was when it first attacked Cain, but with Abel helping talk it back down, Lucias was able to begin its road to being the sin barer of Wrath. It first met Sloth when Cain and Abel brought home their limp body. Wrath was immediately fascinated and infatuated, often sneaking into the room even when not allowed. It was practically glued at the hip once it was able to be.

Extra Information

It's immortality tattoo is placed on the very center of its back, right on the spine which is said to be the most painful spot.

Wrath was originally named Abraxas by its parents, but when Cain and Abel found it, it came up with the first name it could and that eventually stuck. Wrath doesn't mind as it feels this seperates it from it's dad.

It has a scar on its right hand in the shape of a bite mark which it got from when it bit Cain upon still being new to the House of Mysteries.

Is (currently) the only sin that I've adapted to the Netflix version of Sandman, Lucias being a living embodiment of wrath made in order to keep the Waking world's wrath at bay.

While being Satan's sin barer of Wrath, Wrath also is the ruler of the Anger ring of hell.

During its time as a fighter it has seen children like each of the sins die, sometimes even by its own hands.

It has two full on fangs in place of its canines.

When it and Cain get into altercations (very rarely does it happen) both more try to restrain the other into submission more than hurt the other seeing as Cain's mark means Wrath gets hurt seven fold and Wrath is strong enough to cause a lot of physical hurt to Cain, neither want to see the other hurt though.

Despite how they look, Wrath's horns have a kind of velvety texture to them, it's also a bit of a pleasure spot for it in the same response a cat gives to being pet.

Wrath's powers include super strength and super stamina, it also has some lower grade demon powers like energy manipulation but it's been so long since it has used it that it would take some time and energy for it to tap back into it.

A very distinct speech pattern of Wrath's includes skipping letters in its words (some examples I've done in my writings include: 'nimals, suppose', and what're).

Has a love hate relationship with fire.

It's adoption day is celebrated August 5th.

It was the second child obtained but is the oldest in age.

Little Soldier is its special nickname from Cain and Abel, neither are really sure who started it but it simply stuck.

Playlist

You're Not Welcome, Naethan Apollo, 2:30

Mama, My Chemical Romance, 4:38 (♡Theme Song)

Hell's Coming With Me, Poor Man's Poison, 3:32

I Am Damaged, Barret Wilbert Weed & Ryan McCartan, 1:25

My Demons, STARSET, 4:47

Surface Pressure, Jessica Darrow, 3:21

Picrews made of it (not all include its horns or split hair because they weren't an option for the picrew)

One of my favorite Tik Toks of it (Very hard choice because I loved almost all of its)

Defending Cain against someone (idea gotten from the original Dreaming comics issue #8).

Tags: @p3achgutz-blog

[ohshcobsession]

Yes!!!!! This is what I was trying to.explain to my sister about their relationship giving me bad vibes (not because of my crush on Tamaki) but because Haruhi actually doesn't like him a good amount of time in the manga from what I can tell and in the Anime their relationship is so rushed we don't see even a hint of romance or even genuinely liking Tamaki coming from Haruhi, at best it's shown she tolerates Tamaki. Not to say Hikaru doesn't have his problems but from I'v seen she isn't near as annoyed with Hikaru and Hikaru was actively trying to get better on his flaws even slightly (the whole rain thing that happened on their date) he literally ran out in the rain no hesitation and comforted Haruhi the best he could after realizing his mistake and tracking her down. Honestly he it took him a minute but once he figured out she was scared and didn't come back he didn't wallow in self pity he did a oh shit I fucked up and ran to her side, imagine how hard it was for someone that never admitted anything, was never in the wrong and only had his brother to actually do that, instead of seeing it as some sort of betrayal she didn't straight up tell him just doing a oh fuck i didn't read her signals. Tamaki constantly gets on her nerves and just in general it feels like he doesn't actually like her, it feels like she is the first thing that is different to him and because its new and exciting unlike the usual clientel, he doesn't read her signals properly and tries shoving her into things she isn't comfortable in on multiple occasions, if Haruri was just a tsundere I would just mark most of her behavior twords him off but we can see her thoughts on everyone she isn't a tsundere can express her feelings twords people just fine and is genuinely annoyed with tamaki.

This isn't even touching on his Father complex, I don't think its a fetish or something he sexualizes I think it's that he wasn't able to process that his feelings twords her were actually romantic and thought that he was just being overprotective and linked them to a father daughter thing instead of a crush. None of them are bad people I love their characters and they are awesome but their halves don't align and I agree this is potentially a very harmful relationship, Tamaki could start being manipulative without realizing it just trying to get her affection and Haruhi could resent Tamaki. Just in general I don't think that the romantic was needed on the series, I feel like it would have been just fine if Haruri didn't end up dating anyone and just worked off her debt in the host club making friends along the way growing into her body and feel more confident learning that it was ok to let people in. Tamaki could have learned about other cultures and that he was immature and needed to deal with his emotions better, Hikaru learned to let people into his world and that it was ok to love and that not everyone would leave and not everyone would stay but that doesn't mean the experience wasn't worth it.

Why I Absolutely Cannot Stand TamaHaru as an Ouran Manga Reader

Shoutout to this post I made a while back, we're finally delving into the second half of my argument lol

I feel like I'm gonna get some heat for this but I mean this completely in good faith to the shippers, because y'all are people. And honestly? Since there are so many of you, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your (polite) responses because I really don't understand. Here's my (anti-TamaHaru) perspective:

Ok, so TamaHaru always seemed a bit bland to me in the anime. It was fine if it had to happen, I guess, but it always seemed like the other characters were a lot more excited about it than the actual couple, and it just kind of seemed like their energies and life plans didn't align? They don't even end up kissing by the end of the anime, and they were the main ship and a straight couple. If they wanted to kiss, wouldn't they have kissed? And I mean, yeah, there was that whole bit where everyone was like "wow, Haruhi's dad is just like Tamaki" (which seems like some sort of weird relationship complex in and of itself), but Tamaki had a tendency to get excited about shit Haruhi just complained about, and I... is it really worth it at that point?

(Especially when Kyoya and Mori are right there. Come on dude, Kyoya is absolutely willing to have Tamaki's back every step of the way for whatever interests he wants to pursue and Tamaki designates him as the teammate in the family, and don't even get me started on whatever was going on between Haruhi and Mori in the waterpark episode. I want more of that shit. But that's a topic for another time.)

Feel free to give me your arguments on this too (kindly, please), but I feel like most of it that I've seen is "they'll grow together"/"they're equally stupid and that's cute"/"he just loves her so much"/"they're so aesthetic" and none of these have ever really held water for me because it doesn't really seem to negate the lack of chemistry I've observed...

Oof that was a long ass backstory but onto the actual point

So in the manga, my experience was basically all my fears were confirmed and then some, and we quickly spiraled into downright emotional abuse and partner-to-partner hatred????

Ah god it was so bad

Here are some examples

Haruhi's reaction to the realization that she loves Tamaki (Volume 13)

Literally the first example of body dysmorphia we've ever gotten from Haruhi (directly contradicting her body-positive/neutral quotes from volume 3), along with a very convenient example of Tamaki's (NOW CONFIRMED ROMANTIC) infantilization of Haruhi that y'all already know because it is present since the start of the series (the thing is this wouldn't even be an issue if it was directed at a friend as a "we have a family bond and I want to feel like I'm taking care of you" as he does with the twins and not to someone who he wants to be his life partner....) (Volume 13)

Haruhi's thoughts on the possibility of dating Tamaki (Volume 13)

The fact that the Dream Haruhi plotline has ground to stand on?????? Since when has it been okay to fantasize that your supposed other half is a completely different person when it comes to an actual romantic relationship? Shit like this is okay until it starts affecting other people, and the fact Haruhi has already shown dysmorphia because she cares about whether or not Tamaki wants to date her and then this shit happens makes me very uncomfy down to my bones. (Volume 14)

This isn't something particularly heinous between these two, but it is yet another egregious example of how they always just completely miss each other's vibes, which I personally don't really like in my power couples (Volume 15)

I'm just saying, if I realized my girlfriend thought these things about me I would be justifiably upset (Volume 15)

Ok I understand the tendency of the host club to jokingly threaten violence (read: Kyoya when he wakes up and both of the twins) but this is both completely unwarranted and oddly genuine what the fuck :D (Volume 15)

What the fuck <3 (Volume 15)

It's ok guys she's rethinking it because he fell asleep in the club room :D (she never apologizes to him by the way)

And then they spend the rest of the series overcoming external obstacles and living happily ever after

Just kidding this is how they get together (Volume 18)

And this is their first date. I don't feel like depicting it in its entirety because my back hurts now but rest assured Tamaki acting like Tamaki pisses Haruhi off more than once <3 (Volume 18)

In summary I've only ever seen them act like this with each other I like both of their characters but these chapters genuinely almost convinced me to hate them they are so bad for each other just date someone else just date someone else p l e a s e

[leviathans-watching]

if it isn't too much to request, could we get a more gender neutral thing with the MC being on their period? i'm on mine right now and it's been hard to find comfort writing that isn't for female readers which ESPECIALLY sucks because im. well. Not A Girl dhwhs

AH but of course you don't have to if you feel like it's too repetitive!!!

mc on their period

includes: the bothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated g | m.list

a/n: i'm sorry you're feeling this way!! i know it's a little late but i hope it helps next time it rolls around or just in general haha. thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come say hello <33

warnings: vague and brief mentions of dysphoria

please like and reblog hehe

burying your face in your arms you groan, slumping down.

“what ever is the matter?” lucifer asks, and you lift up your head a little to look at him. he’s got his finger marking where he left off reading and his gaze is steady on you.

“i’m just not having a super great time right now,” you reply, semi-honestly. “life sucks.”

opposite you, belphie nods. asmo smacks him on the shoulder.

“i’m sorry you feel that way,” asmo says, a pout forming. “is it something in particular? you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“yeah,” satan agrees. “and if there’s anything we can do for you, please let us know. we’d be happy to help.”

you smile a little, touched. “thanks, guys. it’s just, you know, that time of the month so i’m extra moody.”

everyone softens slightly at that, familiar now with your feelings about your period and all of the complicated feelings that usually arise along with it.

“that sucks,” mammon says, normally brash tone quieter. “i know in the past chocolate and stuff has helped, do ya want any of that?”

“theoretically, yes,” you sigh. “but i’m not even close to hungry. sometimes my appetite gets screwed up.”

“so that’s why you didn’t eat much for lunch,” beel says, and mammon snorts.

“of course that’s what you’d notice.”

cutting off the potential squabble, lucifer speaks once more. “i’m very sorry you’re feeling like this. i know you don’t feel your best during menstruation but we’re all willing to do whatever you need. and if you want us to just drop the subject and not bring it up again right now, we’re more than willing to do that too.”

looking around at all of their stupidly sincere and kind expressions makes you know that what lucifer’s saying is the truth. the boys rarely agree on anything, but when it comes to you and your wellbeing, you’ve found their thinking aligns more often than not. you bury your face in your arms once more and bite your cheek.

“uh, mc?” levi says after a moment, and you hear a soft thud, followed by a quiet ‘ow’. asmo could probably reach him too.

“i’m okay,” you say. “just trying to get a handle on these stupid emotions i suddenly have. thank you, lucifer. i really appreciate it. and i’m okay with talking about it, but it was kind of you to check my boundaries.”

“of course,” lucifer replies, and a soft touch lands on your shoulder. beel, probably, since he was on that side of you. “kindness has nothing to do with it, though. it’s just basic decency.”

“that’s true.” you huff out a laugh, sitting up fully once more. beel’s hand- you’d assumed correctly -shifts but doesn't fall. you lean into the touch slightly. “but still, thank you.”

“think nothing of it,” satan cuts in. “i also wanted to add that if we ever do or say anything, not only about this, that is invalidating or insensitive to please let us know. i know i, and probably everyone here just wants to respect and love you in the way you deserve.”

“you’re all doing a great job of that, so don’t worry,” you say. “i’d say something if you weren’t, but again, thank you.”

stupid respectful boys who make your heart feel like it’s going to burst.

getting your period really sucks but at least you have them.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[seychellse]

Hey y'all! I'm trying to get a bit more familiar with writing smut so I'm trying out a few more suggestive pieces with some prompts! I'm starting with Nanami too bc gawd. I don't submit to ANY man but he would turn me into a 50s housewife I swear to god. Plz I wanna bear this man's children SO BAD

warnings: nsfw, overuse of the word 'dominance' and 'control', power struggle, shameless manhandling of male titties

pairing: Nanami x fem!reader, Gojo at first too but fuck that guy it ain't about him right now

wc: <1k

Prompt: Who's really on top?

Satoru Gojo may be the strongest sorcerer in the world, but he’s still just Satoru to you - goofy and annoying. You bet once you could easily beat the cockiness out of him if he ever turned off that damned Infinity, and knock him down a peg to force him into remembering his place below you; exactly where he belonged. It's pretty easy to get him to that point, actually; a bet won in your favour had him do exactly that, and you relished the opportunity to get one over him. Red-faced and sweaty, he gasped and whined underneath you, begging for release while you rode him to exhaustion and brought him to the edge of climax over and over again until he learned his place, begged you oh-so sweetly and conceded to you in a manner that was satisfactory before you let him cum all over himself in disgrace.

Nanami, on the other hand? He never needed raw power to be powerful or prove his authority, and you'd find that out the hard way. Trying the same song and dance on him hadn't worked out entirely in your favour, but you couldn't pretend you weren't enjoying yourself. In trying to assert your dominance over him, you found that even on the bottom, Kento would always be on top - and that was never going to change.

“Nanami…” You whine, one hand resting on the flat plane of his belly and the other stuck to your pebbled nipple.

“What is it? Use your words.”

You can barely remember to stay upright, let alone form a sentence that would make sense to your addled mind. Stuck between wanting to lay down and grind on him, and working through your pride to its inevitable end, you let your limbs decide for you and sag just a tiny amount, leaning back on your heels and spreading yourself open for his eyes to drink you in. All the while you flex around the solid length inside you, persistent even after two separate rounds, and try to return his aquiline stare. More than anything, you want to draw out some kind of emotion that would validate his deference to your domination.

But again and again, all you're met with is his solid demeanour. Nanami's expression underneath you changes only slightly, as if to mock your lofty desire to have him under your thumb, and your inability to materialise his submission despite every attempt you've made to ensure it.

Trying a different tactic, you bring your fingers up to his chest, circling the pink nipples with a feather-light touch and tapping the buds in interest. When that doesn't arouse any movement or noise from the impassive sorcerer, you risk your own position and bend towards him, aligning your own buds with his and sliding up against him to generate some friction on your sensitive spots. The action has you choking back your own groan, losing yourself in the feeling of his chest against yours as you rub him up and down with your own body and shamelessly build up the heat between the two of you.

In response, he just rolls his hips, eyebrows raised. Challenging you. He makes a pleased noise, but as soon as it leaves his throat it's swallowed up by your own throaty whines as the shift sets off his own movement, and accidentally-on-purpose causes his happy trail to grind delicately up and down your clit, already oversensitised from the first pop. The sensation forces your to screw your eyes shut and keen in longing, considering giving up the charade but your pride refuses to allow it. You press on despite the numbness, needing more than anything for Nanami to just drop the act, place his hands firmly on your tush and just have him squeeze, give back the control he already knows he has whenever the two of you engage in this dance. He's not so easily swayed, however; more than enjoying the show of you trying to remain in control and how easily you slip with only the most simple of touches. His hands remain firmly at his sides despite your insistence on bringing them to where you want them to be.

Clenching around him once more, both your hands stop their movement to fall to either side of him as you do your best to remain on top through your third orgasm of the night. You had asked for this, after all. All he was doing was obliging you, ever watchful from below as you tried and failed to assert your own dominance.

He smiles then; a sight rare enough to see from your stoic lover, and it sends an aftershock straight through you, travelling from the centre of your chest and settling in the place where the two of you are joined together. A long, lewd noise escapes your lips and you lean back, trying to catch your breath and move off him to stop the pulsating feeling making your mind incapable of functioning. He stops you full in your tracks, pulling you down to his side but keeping you connected at the hip. Bastard - he knows exactly what he's done to you and he revels in your dishevelled appearance on top of him, never truly in control despite your hubrid belief that you ever could be. Warmth blooms inside you as he makes himself comfortable beside you and he fixes you with an imposing stare, hazel eyes for once not veiled by his little goggles. The intensity of his eyes on you makes you simultaneously curl up on yourself and arch up into him, cowed but still needing his reassurance that you did well.

“Do you understand who’s in charge here, now?”

“Ye-yes.” You lower your gaze in submission, both embarrassed and horny in equal amounts.

“Good. Know your place, girl.”

[idw-sonic-fan-blog]

The Mandates

Just wanted to share my thoughts on the pro-ported mandates because they cast a shadow on this comic.

“Game characters cannot have relatives unless they were estabilished in the game canon, i.e. Cream and her mother.”

This one is understandable and you can blame Penders for this. Mind you that most licensed comics of gaming franchises don’t actually delve too much in personal family relationships or expand on them. So this is expected and honestly Sega should have put the screws on Archie decades ago about this.

“Game characters can not die. There are workarounds for this, such as being Mistaken for Dying or "Mistaken For Dead”

Again. Yes. Not a big deal.

“Game characters cannot have wardrobe changes unless approved. Chao Races and Badnik Bases has some characters (mainly the female game characters) wear different clothes for extreme conditions. Male characters remain the same.”

This is a useless rule but whatever. I mean Sega, you are the ones putting bad wardrobe choices on the characters so again it’s whatever.

“Sonic can't be shown getting too emotional (i.e;cry)”

This is one that it complained about because it really wouldn’t matter unless it is called attention to. A lot of superheroes don’t cry. But that doesn’t prohibit them from expressing themselves. IDW Sonic has been sad. He has been pissed. He has been furious.

Is this not too emotional?

Is he not expressing himself appropriately?

I don’t even know why this is brought up. When in this comic has Sonic not been expressive or displaying the appropriate amount of emotion? When did Sonic needing to cry be necessary?

“Game characters cannot enter in a relationship.”

Oh GOD YES. Don’t threaten me with a good time.

“All major Character Development must be approved by SEGA.”

Yeah, of course. Let me remind you that Penders and Archie ruined any strand of trust Sega could have in comic media. They played loose at first and all of the sudden, they are involved in a lawsuit about characters in a Sonic comic that they didn’t even know about. They probably lost a video game business relationship because of it. If they want to be involved in the comics, fine. That means that they are now forced to World Build. They have to invest in it now and not just be like Lucas Films and let anybody do anything with their flagship title.

“Much like the post-reboot of the Archie comic, the words "Mobius" is banned—the planet is simply called "Sonic's World". Unlike the Post-Boot, which allowed the names "Mobian" and "Mobini", anything related to Mobius is banned in this comic.”

…Of course but how about you throw the writer’s a bone and I don’t know, name the fucking planet. If it is not Earth, give it a name.

“Sonic must always win at the end. Even if he and his friends are at the losing end in an overarching story (the Metal Virus arc, for example), they must come out on top when it concludes.”

I don’t even get this rule and the knee jerk hatred for it. Why even have it? Why even share the existence of this rule? Archie Sonic didn’t really lose too bad. It’s more on how you frame a victory. The fact of the matter is that Eggman is still actively trying to conquer the planet. Sonic stops him but Eggman still has control of land and has military installations all over.

This rule is offset by this. While Sonic can’t lose, Sonic can’t completely win.

“Characters and material from other licensed properties (Sonic the Comic, Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics), Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM)', Sonic Underground, the OVA, Sonic X and the Paramount films cannot be used. This rule extends to characters and redesigns done by the current writers. The only exception is Sticks from Sonic Boom, and that's because she was created by SEGA themselves and showed up in non-Boom media, but any ideas regarding her use still need to be okayed by SEGA.”

First off I am glad that Sticks was spared by this rule and I look forward to her eventual inclusion. Second, again, this is not much of a big deal as it was expected. Sorry Freedom Fighter fans but honestly deal.

“Male characters, sans Eggman, can't wear pants, which was also a thing in the Post-Reboot, albeit never explicitly stated. The inverse is also true; female characters have to have some form of lower clothing.”

Okay this is a pedantic rule. It is so weird with how precise it is. Like…huh?

“Classic characters such as Mighty, Ray, Nack/Fang, Bean, and Bark won't appear in non-Classic issues, as Sega doesn't want Classic and Modern Sonic to mix.”

One of the most bullshit mandates fueled by the nostalgia boner fans created. Like this is stupid because Archie Modern Sonic has added more character and depth to all of these mentioned characters than any of the Sega Sonic games they appeared in which only amounts to 1 or 2 at most. Why neuter your own potential stories with this stupid limitation?

“According to Ian Flynn, a specific incident involving Shadow's characterization when he's exposed to the Zombot infection was written in a specific way because of Sega mandating that he be written as an "overconfident asshole rival" character, similar to Vegeta. He later followed up with an explanation that out of every character, Shadow has the most mandates and notes attached to how he's portrayed. According to the podcast, Sega says that Team Dark is no longer a thing. The three members are not a team and they have never worked for G.U.N.; Shadow also doesn't even consider them friends.”

This is my opinion is the worst rule. First it’s contradictory to the character Sega introduced us to. Stop trying to be like Dragon Ball for once and actually be your own thing. It’s one thing if we are changing it because Shadow was unpopular because of his personality. But no one likes this Shadow. People miss the somber but reserved Hedgehog that continued to fight in spite of the world betraying him. Hothead Shadow is a cheap Knuckles. And I don’t even understand why Shadow even has so many mandates when he wasn’t the most egregious offender. Knuckles was.

Also, Team Dark aren’t a thing and Shadow doesn’t even consider them to be his friends. First off that doesn’t even fly in your own games. Who outside of Sonic does Shadow interact the most? Rouge. They have teamed up and were a packaged duo since their inception. When Shadow appeared, Rouge appeared right next to him. If Rouge was in a game, so was Shadow.

Team Dark or just Rouge has fought alongside Shadow in every game they appeared in. Who else does Shadow talk to if not Rouge?

“Sega has stated to Flynn that only male hedgehogs are allowed to go Super with the Chaos Emeralds.”

Except in Sonic Mania.

“Ian isn't allowed to directly reference a game, since the comic is supposed to be its own thing.”

Okay. Not only is this rule stupid. But it’s untrue.

This references the end of Sonic Forces.

The first page of comic.

It has referenced Sonic Adventure, SA2, Sonic Generations , and Sonic Unleashed.

This referencing Shadow the Hedgehog.

I don’t believe this rule exists and even if it did, it is dumbest rule since the whole point of this comic is to base it off the games more. The dumbest rule.

“Knuckles is not allowed to leave Angel Island unless he has a very good reason to.”

For decades, people have complained that Knuckles routinely leaves the island. For decades. Now does this mean Sega is going to 1. Use Knuckles and 2. Amplify the importance of Angel Island and the Master Emerald? No. Again, this criticism should be levied at Sega because they often conveniently forget Knuckles purpose and just hand wave it instead of giving Knuckles more to do on the island like I don’t know, have other entities invested in attacking him.

In summary, here is what I think is going on. Do I think most of these mandates are real? Yes. Given what happened to Archie, I do think Sega is doing some brand alignment. I think they got the clamps on.

But what I think is going on is a Japanese cultural thing called Power Harassment. It is normalized abuse of power. Sega of Japan is normally laxxed about their brands. They don’t mind blatant rip-offs of their mascot nor do they get stiff about fandom creations or mods. The comic division, however, is getting tough love because not only did it cost them a publishing deal, but ruined a relationship with a high end developer. So the IDW writers and staff are being subjected to intentionally hypocritical rules and strict mandates that they know don’t make sense until they’ve shown to be obedient.

A lot of the mandates aren’t strict. But some are so asinine that I don’t think they aren’t aware with how stupid they sound imposing those rules. Like Shadow is the most narratively complete Sonic character and yet, Sega puts this tight mandate as if Archie Shadow was the most egregious thing. Archie Shadow was overpowered. He wasn’t out of character like Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were. They can’t be that stupid or be that intentionally dense. So they want to see if the writing crew can follow orders. That’s it.

But that’s just my take.

[lindsayrps]

adrien cormier dev

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: adrien etienne cormier NICKNAME(S): none, really. PREFERRED NAME(S): adrien BIRTH DATE: july 5, 1990 AGE: 33 GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he/him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heteroromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY: french ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: paris, france. LIVING CONDITIONS: 2 bed, 2 bath apartment in palais bourbon. he can literally see the eiffel tower from his living room.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: paris HOMETOWN: paris SOCIAL CLASS: middle EDUCATION LEVEL: university educated FATHER: maxime cormier MOTHER: camille cormier SIBLING(S): delphine, manon BIRTH ORDER: adrien, delphine, manon CHILDREN: n/a PET(S): technically none but there is a cat in the building who comes to hang out on his balcony that he may or may not feed from time to time. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: brother in law, thierry, + niece, adele (8), from delphine. PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: more than his fair share of varying length. he's not allergic to commitment, just aware that some of the women he's dated in the past are painfully shallow. ARRESTS?: no PRISON TIME?: no

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: sorbonne research assistant SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: tour guide CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: they're both good, so yes, rather content. being a tour guide gets a little tedious, at times, but he doesn't love it any less. PAST JOB(S): cater-waiter, kitchen dishwasher, whole lot of things that made him realize he would never want to work in food service ever again. SPENDING HABITS:  not frugal but not overly indulgent either.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH:  A SPEED: A- INTELLIGENCE: depends on the subject. if it's french/french history based, he's got it on lock. (mostly bc he has to as a tour guide.) ACCURACY: B AGILITY: A STAMINA: A TEAMWORK: C, highly dependent on the team he's expected to work with TALENTS: encyclopedic knowledge on french history SHORTCOMINGS: very much prefers to lone wolf it. like, if he can do it by himself, he will and he will not ask for anyone's help/company/etc. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: french, english DRIVE?: yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no PLAY CHESS?: yes BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: yes 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: lucas bravo EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: brown GLASSES/CONTACTS?: both; contacts more often than glasses. very, very weak prescription either way. DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 6'0 BUILD: athletic EXERCISE HABITS: biggest, most frequent form is walking literally everywhere. consistently hits 10k+ steps every single day, often more. weightlifting, occasionally, but nothing too terribly excessive, in general. SKIN TONE: medium, a little more tan depending on the season. TATTOOS: none PEIRCINGS:��none MARKS/SCARS: a crescent shaped scar on his left hand from when he and manon were kids and she bit him. NOTABLE FEATURES: piercing eyes, constant stubble/five o'clock shadow. USUAL EXPRESSION: neutral, if not somewhat amused. CLOTHING STYLE: elevated casual JEWELRY: simple watch, thin gold chain necklace. ALLERGIES: n/a DIET: everything in moderation PHYSICAL AILMENTS: n/a

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: the challenger MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral TEMPERAMENT: phlegmatic ELEMENT: air MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: n/a SOCIABILITY: highly sociable in the right situations EMOTIONAL STABILITY: high OBSESSION(S): n/a COMPULSION(S):  n/a PHOBIA(S):  n/a ADDICTION(S):  n/a DRUG USE: yes. he smokes, not like a chimney but still smokes nonetheless. ALCOHOL USE: yes. social drinker, mostly. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: formal when it comes to tour groups, casual otherwise. ACCENT: french QUIRKS:  n/a HOBBIES: honestly, he'll try anything once, so the hobbies are varied. movies, festivals, museums/galleries, trivia night at whatever bar is close by. he loves taking adele to museums. HABITS:  n/a NERVOUS TICKS: n/a DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: making the most out of life. that's it. FEARS: none really. POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, fantastic listener, spontaneous, adventurous, adaptable, honest, intelligent. NEGATIVE TRAITS: argumentative, assertive, impulsive, independent. SENSE OF HUMOR: dry DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: not frequently, but it's not out of his vocabulary.

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: travelling ANIMAL: cats BEVERAGE: coffee BOOK: too many to pick just one CELEBRITY: n/a COLOR: blue DESIGNER: n/a FOOD: really, everything is good. FLOWER: lavender GEM: moonstone HOLIDAY:  christmas MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: metro MOVIE: too many to pick just one MUSICAL ARTIST: phoenix SCENERY: cityscapes SCENT: petrichor SPORT: soccer SPORTS TEAM: french national TELEVISION SHOW: too many to pick just one WEATHER: rainy and cool VACATION DESTINATION: spain or portugal

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: being happy with his life at the end of it all GREATEST FEAR: feeling like he'd missed out on something/wasted time/didn't do things worthwhile MOST AT EASE WHEN: situationally dependent. he's generally always at ease. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: again, situationally dependent. if the focus is on him and solely him, outside of tour groups, he's a little uneasy but it depends on the context. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: anything bad to parents, siblings, niece, brother in law, etc. BIGGEST REGRET: none so far. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: the only one who remembers his embarrassing moments are himself, so, do they really count? BIGGEST SECRET: a considerable open book, no real secrets. TOP PRIORITIES: family/job/everything else (for now)

[bunchofstraydogs]

Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him

Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.

Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu

Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.

Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:

"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"

followed by

"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."

This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.

Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.

Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.

Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.

•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"

Yeah, i feel bad for him too.

He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,

so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.

Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.

At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.

When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.

He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.

He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.

He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.

I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.

The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.

"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."

From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.

It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.

Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.

That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.

Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.

Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.

For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.

Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.

He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.

He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.

"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."

Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.

The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.

Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.

He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.

It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-

Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~

That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.

There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?

Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.

This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.

[hexyourheartablaze]

Today's Tea

Hopefully not too much of a generic topic, but what are your thoughts on Douma's lack of emotions?

Like, he said himself that he can't really relate to them, neither does he understand them at all. Which is something that is clearly bothering him, when we look at his reaction after Kanao was roasting him about it. However I do believe that he's actually quite capable of feeling something, even if it's only very subtle on a shallow level and nothing strong or really passionate coming from his heart. In fact I would maybe compare it to what Tanjiro once said to Kanao; the voice inside his "heart" is probably just very very tiny too. Afterall, there was never really much room for strong emotions of his own since he had to listen to everyone else's awful problems ever since he was a child while being expected to act wisely on it with a "holier than thou" attitude in a way which will please them all. Although I do have no doubts that he genuinely likes the idea of helping people, it's just pretty sad that he was never able to grow through experiences which would have formed him in a much better and healthier way. Also, thank you for looking so much into submissions and asks. I hope it's not getting too much or anything.

I can't find the twitter post now, but there was an actual term used to describe his lack of emotions. I found the term Alexithymia, and while that might not be the right diagnoses, there are some points that I think align with how he was. Alexithymia is a broad term from what little I read though... gosh I wish I could find that post. I think that Douma is mostly numb to emotions, but when he does experience them, his mind snuffs it out quickly because he does not know how to react on these emotions.

I believe one of the biggest causes of his emotional numbness was his emotional neglect as a child. This is just my opinion, but I believe that Douma being treated more as a religious icon rather than an actual child with developing emotions caused him to have trouble identifying and expressing those emotions. His brain went into a survival mode that pushed out the need to experience emotions, but in doing so he also severed his chances (or at least really hindered his chances) to experience them in a healthy way later on in life. He gained a bit of an abusive, one sided friendship with Akaza because of this. He wasn't able to properly identify how Akaza did not want to be his friend, and in fact I think it's interesting that Douma gets a bit passive aggressive with Akaza at one point and says that he doesn't mind Akaza physically/verbally abusing him because Akaza is third upper moon and that surely irritates Akaza. It's almost as if Douma is mirroring a similar style of abuse to try and connect with Akaza more. It's kind of like when you get into a new group of friends and you see the others picking on one another so you start doing the same to ease tension and try and fit in more.

While I would have loved to see any of the other pillars face off with Douma, I appreciate that Kanao and Inosuke faced off with him to really highlight the opposite of spectrums. There's Douma, who can't experience emotions for the most part because he was never given the chance to fully develop them. Then there's Kanao, who came dangerously close to cutting off her own emotions for the sake of survival. And finally there's Inosuke, who despite being abandoned as a baby did NOT cut off any of these emotions and in fact he unapologetically experiences all emotions in the most extreme way he can.

I can't help but feel sad for Douma, his final moments are experienced with these two kids who really defied the odds and pulled through despite their neglectful childhood. It's almost a cruel way of flaunting that Douma COULD have had the fulfilling life that he wanted but Douma was given a bad hand at the beginning. I know that if Douma was born with an actual disorder in real life he wouldn't have an opportunity to fix it, but I can say that his childhood did not help.

Please be patient if I made mistakes, waiting for my bean juice to brew...

Also thank you for sending this! I love getting deep about KNY in general. I love Douma asks and submissions of course but any character is fine too.

[tessiete]

hi ive read like all your stuff about korkie is a kenobi in the span of about three days and i'm so EMOTIONAL?? it makes such narrative sense - star wars is a story about fathers and sons and what happens when mothers are lost and in eternal spring, when obi wan doesn't reject korkie, and korkie doesn't reject obi wan, and they love each other and accept each other despite the gaping hole that satine left in their relationship it like heals and breaks that cycle of little blonde boys being 1/

of little blonde boys being left in the desert without their mothers and with father figures who don't quite accept the responsibility of being a father to all of their detriments! it lets padme live, and it lets luke escape, and it lets everyone who wants to heal and work towards a better future. anyway, this is some Good Fucking Food and thank u for writing it. if you're still open to prompts i would really like to see some kryze-kenobi family bonding. just the three of them happy and together 

AH! This has been sitting so beautifully, and lovingly in my inbox for ages now, and I do apologise, but I just - I saw fluff and I panicked. I PANICKED!!!

And, as you can probably see, wrote reams of whump and h/c instead. But I tried.

Anyway, there is so much I want to say about this - I’m going to have to bookmark this whole thing just so I can come back again and again to your generous words. Thank you! I do have such a fondness for Eternal Spring, and whether or not it began as a joke, I am SO attached to the idea of Korkie as a Kenobi, the idea that blood isn’t always bad, that healing can happen, that good people make mistakes, that forgiveness IS an option - and I love how that aligns with the Pacifism of Satine’s New Mandalorians. I wish we had more of it (that insistent, unrelenting kindness and compassion) in SW, and Korkie is my little effort at that.

RANTING ASIDE, I hope you find and enjoy this little bit of fluff for the Kenobi-Kryzes. MUCH LOVE.

AND BY THE HAND LED

It was not Life Day. It was not Holyrod week, and Belli’s birthday had been a full ten month ago. Yet still, on this day, Kirokicek Kryze woke with the sun, and raced to his window where he could see the Sundari dockyard in the distance. 

Personal shuttles buzzed to and fro. Docking tugs hauled heavy freighters into place. Long, thin vactrains hurtled passengers from one platform to the next, or further on into the heart of the city. A few large ferries which had found mooring overnight made their ponderous voyage upwards, headed for the small opening at the apex of the Sundari dome. They were bound for transports anchored in wet space, the people aboard away for deep space travel to distant stars. 

Korkie watched as one neared the aperture, then, with incredible steadiness of hand, cleared the narrow gap with ease. He let go his breath, but his eyes remained fixed upon the opening. He was not much concerned with the ships that left, but instead found great interest in those ferries which were currently arriving.

They took turns - one in, one out - and with every exchange, Korkie felt as though the city was making room for a very special guest. One who loomed larger than life in his young consciousness, and one who occupied more and more space in his heart the closer he came.

Bebu was coming home.

A knock at his door was not enough to tear his attention from the spectacle outside, but he shuffled over to make room for his mother beside him at the window.

“Good morning, cyar'ika,” she said, pressing a kiss to his hair. “And what has got you up so early?”

She still wore her nightclothes beneath a fine gown of pressed velvet. Korkie leaned back into her embrace, stroking the soft fabric, and letting the warm, sweet smell of sleep wash over him.

“I’m watching the dockyards,” he said. “Look! Do you think that one of them has Bebu on it?”

Satine let her chin rest on the crown of his head, and followed his gaze to the sky.

“Perhaps,” she allowed. “Are you excited for your Bebu to come home?”

Korkie turned, trying to get a glimpse of her expression which could only be as teasing as his own was incredulous. She smiled.

“Excited, Belli?” he asked. “I am so, so, superlatively excited!”

“My,” she said, her face transforming to one of awe. “That is quite a superlative word you have discovered. Is it new?”

Korkie nodded. “I am saving it for Bebu, for our collection. Do you think he shall like it?”

“I think he shall be quite impressed, dinui.”

“I have another, but I always say it wrong, so I think I shall write it down, instead.”

“That is very wise,” she said. “For then there is no chance of misunderstanding, and then your father can teach you to speak it correctly.”

Korkie grinned, and squeezed her hand, so glad to be in such perfect accord. 

“That was exactly my plan, Belli!”

“Te jatne mind jo'lekir ti ast,” she said, laughing. “Now come.”

“Are we going to the docks?”

“Not yet,” she said. “First meal first, I think, and then we shall see.”

She stood from her place behind Korkie, and smoothed her skirts. The early morning sun fell kindly over her face, so that it lit her eyes from behind, like the facet of some bright gem. She held out her hand to him.

“But Belli -!”

“Is that fussing I hear coming out of your mouth?” she asked, the perfect image of confusion.

“No,” he conceded, hanging his head in defeat.

“I thought not,” she said. “Not my Korkie. Besides, we must first ensure that we are properly fed, and tidied before we appear at the docks. We cannot have our tummies grumbling and complaining while we are at the height of a superlative joy, now can we?”

“That would be rather distracting,” he allowed.

“And what would your father think if you showed up all bleary eyed, and sleep tousled? He’d hardly recognise you!”

“That’s not true,” protested Korkie. “He’d think me a ‘devoted legislator’. He said so last time.”

Satine cocked her head, a smirk curling in the corner of her mouth, and pinned just there, until such a time as she could give it to the owner of those borrowed words. 

“Well, cyare, I cannot think he meant it as a compliment,” she said, wiggling her fingers temptingly. “Now come - to firsts.

In the kitchens, his mother suggested they arrange a menu, scrounged from the conservator and pantry, while the staff set about preparing for the rest of their day.

“No need to bother anyone too much when it’s just us, right?” She placed a stool in front of an out of the way countertop, and held his hand while Korkie made a great leap to stand atop it. “Now, what are we hungry for?”

“Isbeans, and egg!” he cried. “With fresh muja juice!”

“Muja juice!” she echoed in surprise. “My, but we’re feeling quite indulgent today!”

“Well, it is a special occasion!” he said.

“Of course, you’re right. Muja juice it is. Anything else, ad’ika?”

He thought for a moment, but knowing how easily she had acceded to his first request, he concluded it most reasonable to forward several more.

“Perhaps some toast,” he said. “And flatcakes. And melon squares with black fire jelly? And then some moof milk and summerberries because they’ll go bad if we don’t eat them. With sucre crystals on the top. And maybe - only because Bebu says it’s healthy - a cup of kava. But just one, or I’ll be up all night.”

She crouched down to meet him, mischief sparkling in her eyes and not a word of protest at his requests. Instead, her tone was conspiratorial, as though they were together in some great game of hide and hunt. 

“Let’s brew a whole pot,” she said. “So that we may share it.”

He laughed in delight. Satine pulled down a tin of weava flour, and let him sprinkle the surface while she portioned out another measure into a shallow bowl for flatcakes. Under her careful eye, he cracked a tip-yip egg, and tipped in some sucre. She worked the mixture into a sticky dough, and portioned out small spheres for Korkie to press out upon the counter. Cook A’den looked on skeptically, but when his stack of raw discs began to pile up, she stepped in with a sigh, and a fond smile and lifted him on her hip while she fried them over a nano-cooker. 

As he worked, Satine gathered the berries and the milk, and a little pot of sucre. Helping hands piled plates high with toast, and ulik butter. Isbeans and hard boiled eggs followed, kept warm beneath heated domes. A whole pitcher of ice cold muja juice was produced from the conservator, and a fresh pot of kava was left to steep with wide, green leaves still in it. There was so much food that, in the end, a small cart was required to bear the fruits of their labours, while Korkie added the final touch of perfectly browned flatcakes.

Normally, they would eat their firsts in the family dining hall, but Satine insisted that she could not possibly do so while still dressed in her nightclothes.

“And scandalise the whole parliament? I think not, my very shocking dinui. No, it’s best we take everything back to my rooms, and eat there where no one will think us as uncivilised as we appear.”

So with many thanks to A’den, and her workers, Korkie followed his mother down the glistening marbloid halls with their wide windows. The sun was nearly all the way up, and the traffic in the sky had only increased since Korkie last looked. He was hit with the sudden realisation that perhaps many ferries had come and gone in his absence, and any one of them might contain his father. He raced to the window to check.

“Come along, Korkie,” said Satine. “Soon. I promise.”

Torn between food and the possibility that his father was waiting for him even now, Korkie gave into the demands of his hunger, and followed his mother down the hall.

They stopped outside her door, the cart pushed just off to the side. Satine looked at him appraisingly, smoothing one hand over his determinedly erstwhile hair.

“Oh dear,” she said, straightening his synfleece robe, as he reached for the cart to steal a summerberry from the pile. “You do look a sight. But I suppose it cannot be helped.”

She gave him a fond caress, her thumb tracing the swell of his little cheek with such reverence, and care that Korkie nearly felt guilty for snatching the fruit. But she smiled as he swallowed, and he supposed it must just have been one of those strange things buirs did from time to time, where they mixed up joy and sorrow and said nothing about it.

“I shall comb my hair later, Belli,” he offered. That seemed to do the trick, for she laughed, and stood, and gave his hand a brief squeeze.

“I will remember you said that,” she said. “Now, be a good boy and get the door for your Belli, would you?”

She returned to the cart, as he wiped his hands down the length of his robe, and reached for the palmpad. The door chimed, and slid aside with the barest sigh of air. Inside, Korkie could see that the curtains had been pulled back, and the room was flooded blue and gold with the oncoming day. Playful shadows danced across the floor where hanging tassels toyed with the sun. The carpet glistened like thick grass, lush and crowned in dew. A small table with three chairs sat to one side, and an old cloak lay thrown across it. There were boots, too large for his mother to wear, a belt too wide to be hers, and there, in the bed, swaddled in silkweed sheets and haloed by the sun, was Obi-Wan Kenobi, hovering on the edge of waking.

“Bebu!” Korkie shouted.

At his cry, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, and smiled, catching his son as raced across the floor and leapt upon the bed in a single motion. 

“Ah, ner wer'ika! Ni mirdir tion'tuur gar ru'kel olaror. Bic cuyir ori'udes tion'tuur gar cuyir dar.”

“Bebu!” Korkie cried again, laughing and wriggling with joy. His father lifted him over his head, holding him aloft as he made his cursory examination.

“Korkicek!” he groaned, as his strength gave out and Korkie tumbled atop his father’s chest in a tangle of limbs and blankets. “You must be very much grown since I last saw you, for you are getting too heavy for me!”

“No, I’m not, Bebu,” he said. “I’ve only grown two centimeteres since you were gone, and Belli says that’s only because I’m on a spurt.”

“Only two centimeters?” Obi-Wan demands. “Dear me, that’s not very much at all. I shall expect more diligence in your efforts at stretching if we are to make any serious headway in this matter.”

Korkie giggled. “Don’t be silly, Bebu,” he said. “I cannot stretch myself bigger. It takes time.”

“And heavy reading,” Obi-Wan agreed gravely.

“And good eating,” Satine added from behind them. She’d set the table in their distraction. Obi-Wan’s cloak now hung respectably from a hook by the fresher blind, and three plates sat waiting to be filled. The isbeans steamed, their skin crackling and blackened. The flatcakes dripped with galek syrup and butter. The summerberries shone plump and delectable in their precarious pyramid. The black fire jellies jiggled, and the muja juice sparkled.

“Is that fresh kava I smell?” asked Obi-Wan. 

“It is!” said Korkie. “And all sorts of things which Belli and I made! I suppose it’s a lucky thing we made so much extra, for now you can share it with us.”

“A lucky thing, indeed,” Obi-Wan agreed. He looked at Satine with such adoration that the smirk she had pinned up earlier unfurled completely and crossed her face in a radiant smile. 

“Come, Bebu,” said Korkie, taking his father’s hand in his. “Enough lazing about in bed. Let’s eat, or the kava will get cold.”

“Quite right,” Obi-Wan agreed, standing as Korkie slid to his feet beside him, and tugged him over to where Satine was waiting. “We can’t have that.”

“And you may have my cup as well,” added Korkie, magnanimously, “As it is truly a rotten drink, even if you say it is healthy. But since it is such a special day, I don’t think I should be forced to have it, anyway.”

“He drives a hard bargain, your son,” said Obi-Wan, leaning in to beg a small kiss.

“Ah, but of course,” said Satine, quick to grant his request. “He gets that from you, cyare.”

--

“Ah, ner wer'ika! Ni mirdir tion'tuur gar ru'kel olaror. Bic cuyir ori'udes tion'tuur gar cuyir dar.” - Ah, my little terror! I was wondering when you might show up. It has been far too quiet without you.

“Te jatne mind jo'lekir ti ast” - The best mind agrees with itself. (read: Great minds think alike.)

ad’ika, dinui, cyare - little one, gift, beloved.